Queerly Attached

Midwest Growing Pains: Queer Joy at Q Kansas City

• Kyleigh Weathers • Season 1 • Episode 2

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What happens when you combine a passion for community building with the vibrant life of the queer community in Kansas City? Join us as we chat with Lance Pierce who has turned his vision of inclusivity into reality through Q Kansas City. 

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Speaker 1:

Hi friend, welcome back to Queerly Attached podcast. I am excited about this episode. I have Lance Pierce joining me today I actually affectionately refer to you as Mr Gay Casey and this guy entered my life right as I was launching Queerly Attached, my coaching business, and the thing that connected us is this idea of people want to gather, and so I'm excited to have Lance on today, and I think what I'd like to do, lance, is kind of get to know QKindnessCity by getting to know you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, my name is Lance Pierce. I organize Queer Connect KC. So we do queer bar takeovers, queer dinner clubs, we oversee the community calendar and then we're opening a nightclub here in February. So we really focus on trying to provide tools to the queer community to provide more unity, more collaboration and to try to find queer joy by finding places to belong and finding connections. So we really believe that the world can be a hard place and the best place and the best antidote for that is community.

Speaker 1:

I love that and what I have learned from you, what I've learned from you is that I really believe you, that that is being really is about connections, community and healing, and that is something, obviously, that I am super just about. And I have learned that we like to gather. We just do.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely Well. That's been the fun thing about kind of getting to know. The work that you're doing is figuring out like, how do we move the community through a healing process in terms of attachment styles? And you know there's also the healing of the brain which we do with, you know, talk therapy but then there's also that somatic healing of body where we store a lot of that trauma and we have a collective trauma as a community. So trying to figure out how we move through that, and I think one of the great and exciting things I'm excited about is just the opportunity to gather with a lot lower barriers so we can gather for a conversation of five people or 10 people or 600 people. You know that barrier to entry is going to be much lower for us to push.

Speaker 1:

Tell me about the space. I have been on the tour. It was beautiful. I've been twice. How much or how close are we to done?

Speaker 2:

We are so close. This week all the furniture is coming in. So lots of the construction ended last Friday, all the furniture is coming in today, today. So lots and lots of little things that are going to take this long, but uh, uh, but yeah it's really starting to come together. So, uh, you know, I mean the club is organized. It'll hold four to five hundred people total. So as you come in the club there's a lobby area with a big giraffe that's holding a big chandelier. So it's so gay and there's all these jokes that giraffes are, just that they're all gay by by default.

Speaker 2:

Fabulous queer culture we're really good at building a whole narrative around something when we think it's funny. Um, so then you'll like walk into the cove and that'll be kind of like a really great opportunity for connections.

Speaker 2:

So lots of couches and kind of areas to kind of sit down for the lesbians, because we would like to chat yeah, I think that's something that's been really interesting is that, um, as people come through and you know we've been doing queer bar takeovers for eight years, so been taking the queer community and putting them into 96 different bars across the city lesbians, like certain things, gay men like certain things, trans folks like certain things, gay men like certain things, trans folks like certain things. Everybody has these unique needs and if we can just create space for kind of thinking through all the details for each person, it makes for a much better space.

Speaker 1:

I know that we talked about almost this almost introverted space where you have an upstairs where there's not like the strobe lights and the loud and it's a space to just kind of go reconnect so you can keep connecting through the night yeah, like the dance floor is going to be a 10 out of 10 high octane.

Speaker 2:

You know it's a spiritual moment. That's where you know you're going to go to have your transcendental of you know a moment on the dance floor and hear the beats of the dj and the, the gospel of the drag queens dance floor and hear the beats of the dj and the, the gospel of the drag queens, um, you know.

Speaker 2:

But church man, that is it, it's fellowship, it's fellowshipping it really is, and our dj booth actually is inspired by a catholic pulpit. So we really believe that the gay community um, we haven't always been included in church and so gay bar has been kind of the place we go to fellowship with community. It's the place we go to hear the gospel of self-acceptance through drag queens and through performers. It's where we go to sing and dance and have out-of-body experiences with our community through music and through that shared vibration. And it's where we go to find a place to belong and a place to be supported and a place that can see us and celebrate us and love us fully, versus just tolerating us. And so that's really what the focus of the dance floor will be. Is that?

Speaker 1:

What I have liked about the conversations you and I have had about Q Kansas City is that, yes, it is a bar, but you are seeing it as so much more. It's not just a bar. It's a place where we've talked about doing attachment workshops or we've talked about there are so many opportunities now because you have created a space, which is really what we need.

Speaker 2:

Uh, yeah, I was at a bar which is found in belonging Absolutely yeah, and I think that it's essentially we're building a set of tools in a toolbox that career organizers can use. We've got our community calendar, career Connect, and then we've got the scoop that goes out every week. That helps to not change the message. We really do believe that the best people to lead lesbians are lesbians. The best people to lead black and brown folks are black and brown folks. We don't change the message in any way, we just megaphone it and make it louder.

Speaker 2:

And this bar is going to be a new tool in the toolbox to where people can do training classes. We can do self-defense, we can do, you know, training with all kinds of things we can do. We can just have a good time. I think it provides a really great opportunity. I always call this, you know, hiding the pill in the hot dog. You know I have a little puppy myself, so getting her to take her medicine. You know, there's some things that aren't always that fun to do, but if you can mix them in with something fun like a party afterwards, then people are much more excited and thrilled to do that stuff. So you know, I think it's like all things you know.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about your creativity here, because essentially what you've done is, I think you've said you've been a community organizer for 15 years. Is that correct?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean all the way back to high school. I was. I started a paper recycling program at my community. I was the editor of the yearbook. When I went to college, you know, I was a summer welcome leader in an RA. And then I started an organization called Allies in Action which fostered, which really worked with a lot of the sororities, fraternities and different groups to to help them understand what an ally looks like and how to create change in their sphere of influence, um, so that it wasn't just the choir talking to the choir.

Speaker 2:

We were kind of having these little plants throughout the community to say, hey, um, I think we should think about that differently. You know, it's those little nudges campus-wide that really started to create some change.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about then. Why so, if this is something that is innate in you, it?

Speaker 2:

sounds like you are.

Speaker 1:

I call myself a collaborative nature, Like I love to collaborate, and I'm kind of one of these like I rise, you rise, like I want to elevate anyone. That I'm like, if I'm into this work that you're doing, hell yeah, man, what can we do? And so that's what you've done is you've given this microphone, this megaphone, essentially, and you've connected all in any queer events, and so everything that we do in life we get something from. So I'm curious, what is it that you get from this level of giving and gathering?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think there's a really good narrative framework called the hero's journey, and so when something bad happens to someone, they go through one of two paths. One, they go, they turn into a hero and they want to make sure that nobody has to go through what they had to go through. And the alternative is they turn into a villain and they want everyone to feel the pain they felt. And I think, you know, I've chose the, you know I've chose the hero version, but really I've chosen the guide. You know, I've been on my hero's journey. I've, thankfully, you know, had a really successful career and which has made, you know, opened up an opportunity for me to do a lot of this work, which not everyone has, that privilege, you know, by day. I own a real estate investment firm and a real estate management firm, and that's really where I, you know, pay all my bills. This is just a side quest that got way out of hand.

Speaker 1:

No, it's a side quest that found the energy and love that it needed. Look how it came into exactly what you wanted. You manifested it.

Speaker 2:

Well, and I just think it's really fun to be, you know, I'm really just here to provide the resources and be a guide to a lot of the next generation of organizers that are starting to kind of come up and organize in ways that I never would have organized right.

Speaker 2:

Those are some. They have ideas in their heads that are never going to even pop in mind, you know which. It's really fun to see them realize their potential and honestly, I think that's one of the reasons why I've been successful in my day job is because that's really what I focus on is working with humans to, to, to figure out what's their thing, what are they good at, you know, trying to figure out what seat on the bus they're best for, and then trying to support them emotionally, financially and then from an educational standpoint to push them forward, to kind of realize, you know, the potential that they have in themselves, which sometimes you know they don't see in themselves. So part of it's helping them see that as well. So I'm super excited to do that for the queer community, because I didn't have that.

Speaker 1:

Tell me how you're doing that for yourself now. Well, that's a great question it is a great question, and I see the throat tightening up. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:

It's a lot easier for me to support other people than to support myself.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely yeah, so I'm curious.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think it's. Being a community organizer is very challenging, and so it has been very challenging for me, and I think that's why I want to provide more resources to help people be more successful and help feel like there's somebody on their team, be very frustrating to work in because they can, um, you know, have large amounts of trauma themselves and they can, instead of healing that trauma, can allow it to bleed onto other people. And so, you know, organizing there's a lot of criticism from people who aren't organizing anything, uh, people who don't have a lot of information about what's really even going on, and then people are intentionally trying to misinterpret what you say, you know, until they reach an emotional state where you can push forward, but you know, maintaining my own emotional stability has been challenging.

Speaker 1:

you know, I think it's important that you mentioned, you know, the hero's journey and you've shifted and said I'm more of a guide. And I think that's important because if you stayed in that hero state, any feedback is gonna be terrible. You're not gonna hold it because you're just here to help, I'm just here to save you, I'm just here to right. So that would have been insane to have held onto. So you shifted to I'm more of a guide. I have this little note in front of me that I had to pin up for myself which says I am unaffected by the judgment of others, and it's an affirmation that I immediately had to take on as I started to put myself out there with Queerly Attached right and in fact you were a manifestation for me because I had a lot of fear of other queer people who were already out here doing similar things right. And this feeling of like I know there is space for all because all of our voices are going to hit differently, right.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

But you were the first upon me launching. You hit me up right and it was so inclusive and it was so like. I want to know what you're about and I took a lot of those meetings and you were one that it was so clear. This is something that's meaningful and personal, but I also can hear it's been really painful. So how do you pursue a goal through pain?

Speaker 2:

Wow, that's a really you know. You know, as an entrepreneur, um, we fail forward. So it's very typical in every other sphere of the world, you need to be, you know, successful all the time. In entrepreneurship We've got a lot of space for failure and we, intentionally, are failing quickly, on a small scale, so that we know if it can handle that kind of speed, you know. And so we want to break it as fast as we can before we put a bunch of resources behind it, so we can make sure that that thing's going to be stable when I turn up the volume.

Speaker 2:

So, you know, entrepreneurship and the principles of entrepreneurship have been something that's really helped me move forward. You know, you try things, they don't work. You try this, you don't work. I mean, I've done so many programs in this city that don't exist anymore, you know. So I have a trail of failure behind me, which is great, and I love that. Um, uh, and so I think that's really been the thing that supported me and helped me push through, from a mindset standpoint, is utilizing the principles of entrepreneurship. Uh, you know, whatever they sayomas edison had, like a thousand versions of a light bulb, you know, and it takes that, you know you try this, it doesn't work. You try that doesn't work. And you know you just keep moving forward. So and I launch when I've got about 50 of what I need. And if you've watched me over the years you realize you're like, okay, well, that's half-aked, but I got it out there and I didn't have the paralysis analysis to hold it in the incubation.

Speaker 2:

You know, everyone says in the entrepreneurship world, if you're not embarrassed by your first draft that you put out into the world, you waited to. You know. So you just have to start creating and getting out there and being vulnerable and and saying I'm here to be helpful. Out there and being vulnerable and and say I'm here to be helpful, um, I'm here to be supportive. You know what I mean and and I just continue to. I continue to ground myself in my intention but then also being really conscious about gaining feedback from the community and making sure that I'm putting out a message, that I want to be held accountable. I want to, I want feedback. I want because in entrepreneurship we design what are called feedback loops. We put something out, we do surveys, we do consumer understanding and insights, we do sales data analysis and then we regenerate a new concept and we put out prototype number two, and so I need those feedback loops to continue to support the community.

Speaker 2:

Another entrepreneurship element we do is we call it consumer centering. So a lot of times businesses, organizations, will center it around what's easiest for the organization to execute. I map the consumer experience so, like when you come to queue, it's like where do you park? What is it like to walk from wherever you parked to the front door and go through the security, and then what's it like when you talk to the security guard and how do they react to you. And then do that again for a trans person, do that again for a black and brown person, do that again for a female, and you know what is it like when you first walk in. And so, like when you walk into the queue, we're going to have express cocktails. So instead of having to, you know you haven't seen your friends all week and so you have to go and talk to like 10 friends before you get to the bar and it's like it's 45 minutes.

Speaker 1:

The bar is so long, the line is so long. So, forget it, I'll just not.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So like what if you could just get an express cocktail? That's just one type of cocktail we have every night right at Cochran. You know that's a consumer centered approach that allows us to center them, and so when you start to bring different groups through that exercise, like people who have auditory sensitivity my younger brother, curtis, is autistic.

Speaker 2:

I, you know, have a lot of experience living in community, living I mean, my whole life has been living with Curtis, you know, and you know any. If the ceilings are too tall, the echoes start to make him feel really uneasy in his body and so he needs you know, he needs firm touch or he needs to hold onto a wall. And Curtis doesn't speak, he's nonverbal. But we have this kinesthetic conversation and we have whole conversations, but don't ever say a word right. You know, I have this unique experience growing up that other people don't necessarily have, and so I can kind of one.

Speaker 2:

I'm a lot more sensitive. I'm a very sensitive little boy in a grown man's body. So I do take things personally and does hurt my feelings, but I don't, I don't allow that to impact my work as much. Um, I try to keep that hidden away and try to heal and then go back out into the community and try to do work again. But I will say that I have wondered, you know, having a successful career, uh, outside of this, it's like, why am I doing this? Uh, uh and I think a lot of other organizers probably feel that as well where it's like you're really showing up and trying to do good work, and there are certain people in the community that just want to burn things to the ground, uh, and they're not really interested in talking about what we're going to build in its place, and I think that's really frustrating. But, in all fairness, sometimes when things don't serve you, all you want to do is burn to the ground. I mean, that's fair, that's totally fair. So you know.

Speaker 1:

It's a lot of perspectives to hold the word that you said.

Speaker 1:

The thing is, it's vulnerable word and so it really is you think about vulnerability, which is what all of us right here saying like we want vulnerability and authenticity, but like to be vulnerable means I'm going to do it, even if and though I'll get rejected and abandoned. And so the painful thing is that I'm saying something from my heart or I'm giving something from good intention, and then I'm feeling I think good intention and then I'm feeling I think what happens, it triggers this. I'm misunderstood.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh, absolutely Like you don't you don't know me, you don't know what I'm about, right and it just. And that is where I think we start to suffer, because it's a masses, it's millions of people, and and and just not everyone's going to be for your vision.

Speaker 1:

And if we spend like so much energy on these people who are just not going to be on board, it'll never get done because you'll never hit publish or never hit post. You'll never open the doors like we just can't let that stop us. So maybe that's the answer of how we push through. That pain is because the goal is so big and it's so deep for you. It runs years and years and decades into your life.

Speaker 1:

And you're bringing in even this perspective of my autistic brother, could experience this space, which means it's inclusive, which means you're thinking of others, and I just want to say that I cannot imagine the amount of emotional weight that there would be to this endeavor. And I have heard you talk about having people and having community, and I can hear how much you've put out into building that for others. Do you have that?

Speaker 2:

you have that. Yeah, I mean, I think you know it can be challenging to find that community. I think other leaders can relate to this, probably. So I think it's important for me, as someone who's been doing this, to be more vulnerable here. You know, not everyone deserves my vulnerability, so I think that's a good lesson that I learned is sometimes it's good to just set a boundary and say, yeah, I don't feel safe with you, I don't feel like you're going to take my gift of vulnerability and care for it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's like less about they deserve it, it's more about you're not safe.

Speaker 2:

I'm not safe with you, and so I just got back from Las Vegas where I went to a Creating Change conference and I had an opportunity to have dinner with the president that we want for the community and the things that we dream for the community and the things that we're, you know, passionate about. You know, and I just think it just, it was so powerful and just how we create space and the nuance of the experience. And I think you know, um, there's one thing that I want you to understand me, but I think the best approach to that is first me focusing on understanding you and me, kind of setting the tone for our conversation by holding you know that we always talk about the joke of holding space but trying to provide an, a space where you feel comfortable to be able to be your authentic self, because some of our disconnection between us may be because you don't feel seen by me as well, and so when I can try to see you and ask questions about understanding you and saying, oh, that's really interesting, that's a different experience than I have, um, tell me more about that. Um, I'd love to better understand that. You know, um, you know I've had really great friends who taught me so much. Like um Nyla Foster, um, the executive director of the trans women of color collectives, we have been friends for 10 years now and it's not like you go to a seminar and learn something, it's living in community with people.

Speaker 2:

You know, I think what I think leaders need to do is look, you know, scroll on your text messages.

Speaker 2:

How far back do you have to go to find a lesbian that you've talked to and reached out to and lived in community with? You know, I mean, when's the last time you were invited to their birthday dinner or pick them up at the airport or answer the phone at 3 am because they were so distraught, right? If you don't have that in your life, I think it really makes it difficult for us to continue to say that you support inclusive communities, because if you're not living in community with the broad spectrum of our community, it's really difficult. And so you know I've been spending a good amount of time healing those missteps and the way I was unskillful in that, and you know. So I think, yeah, it's difficult to, because when you do anything, there's all kinds of criticism, people have every opinion about it. So you know it is sometimes very difficult to find community. But you know I have a good group of friends and they love to hear about all the details.

Speaker 1:

Okay, you have someone that you're like. Okay, can I just get real and say the things I'm regretting?

Speaker 2:

Absolutely and.

Speaker 1:

I wanted to say are you really a lesbian? If you haven't called someone at 3 am distraught.

Speaker 2:

I mean really Right, and you're like, you know, there's this research that shows that we just need eight minutes no-transcript. And so I think Career Bar, takeover, more importantly, career Dinner Club, this new nightclub, the calendar, they all are really focused on fostering community, fostering support systems. Because that person that you met at dinner club maybe you see them out at the club and then there's that second connection, and then you see them at takeover and there's that second connection out and you run them into the grocery store and then you guys have coffee together, right? And then you say, hey, are you going to that event, let's go together. And then now, all of a sudden, you've got somebody's phone number that you can call for support and for you know, and I think that's how it works, that's how the movement works.

Speaker 1:

We're weaving the community back together again so that the strength of it can handle the trauma that's coming, because you know, I On that I mean I've been calling it queer attachment trauma because it is experienced by anyone who is queer, and the unfortunate part is our experiences are so different that it makes us feel like we are not alike, but the facts are we are alike on this very base level of we're not accepted, we don't exist.

Speaker 2:

We have to fight to exist and that's awful, and I grew up in a town of 200 people. My parents are farmers, so I loved the way I grew up. It was a community. It was very focused on utilizing shared resources. As farmers, we have lots of co-ops. We have our own banks called Farm Credit that are co-op banks called Farm Credit that are co-op banks we share in purchasing seed and inputs, so that we can get better prices.

Speaker 1:

So this is where the testimony was built yeah. I am standing on the shoulders of lots and lots of men and women of generations and instead of just benefiting, you're taking the baton like literally.

Speaker 2:

Right, you're taking the baton like literally right, but also, uh, with a little pain involved, because those communities weren't great, uh, for a little queer boy they were great in some ways. So I mean, you know, I think they supported me and all my little weird projects and but I think, uh, as an adult, kind of seeing more, um, starting to better understand who the adults are in actuality, has been very painful from an attachment theory standpoint, because you start to question who you are and all the foundation of what you've been built on, because the people that you thought you fully knew, there's a trauma that happens where you can't really rely on them to be a support system, and so I think it's been challenging too, just even with my own nuclear family trying to figure out, as a family who all voted for Trump, has been Republicans their whole life and who vehemently supports enthusiastically those efforts, and who vehemently supports enthusiastically those efforts, how do you hold space in your life for them and find ways to love them and find ways to allow them to love you.

Speaker 1:

And.

Speaker 2:

I don't know if I have that figured out yet.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it is a trauma, like you're saying, because, well one, we came in understanding, oh, these people are going to take care of us and love us unconditionally and then, all of a sudden, because of I'm queer now you don't.

Speaker 2:

Or because I am an anti-racist, or because I love trans people Right Think that they're valuable and should exist on this earth.

Speaker 1:

Right Perspectives. It's that understanding, though, that, like I believe that my parents are accepting me, meant something was wrong with me, and that's the shit, and that's the identity that you develop around. So then we come out of the closet and we're like wait, wait what my parents are accepting of me personally.

Speaker 2:

Um, I just think it's different, you know, and they're very supportive. I will give them all that. I just think it's it's, you know, and they're very supportive. I will give them all of that. I just think it's. It's just, we're in between two spaces. I'm very much aligned to the queer community and you know, when you grew up in a small town, I mean you're very much aligned to the other 200 people that live there and you don't really get to pick who those people are. I mean, I get to pick out of 3.

Speaker 1:

Some odd million people here in.

Speaker 2:

Kansas City. Right yeah, Chosen I can be more intentional.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's beautiful.

Speaker 2:

But I think what's really interesting is like especially going to this conference as well. I was just trying to help all the other organizers understand that everything that happens in New York and San Francisco isn't what's happening in Kansas City. We're dealing with very different things. The things that are happening in DeKalb and Wichita and Topeka, you know, in Piedmont, north Dakota, you know right. I think the Midwest is really starting to rise up in the conversation and understanding the nuance of the queer experience, of the trans experience, of the Black experience, of the lesbian experience. You know it's different in systems where you really don't always have that support or the support's conditional.

Speaker 1:

And so you've decided to throw a massive party on Valentine's Day which is so fucking gay.

Speaker 2:

So gay Because love always wins.

Speaker 1:

So tell us about the party. What's it going to be? This is the grand opening. What do you got happening?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so Q Kansas City will be opening on February 14th. We will be throwing a big party at the club. The attire will be dressed in monochromatic red or pink. Um, come show out.

Speaker 2:

Um, we were going to open a week earlier, or two weeks earlier, but we decided that we wanted our anniversary to be on Valentine's day, because love always wins, love always prevails, and no matter how hard this is or that is, or living in this community is or living in that community is the answer really is love, and I think the queer community is uniquely positioned to lead society into the next chapter. Uh, and because we fully understand the full spectrum of humanity and we understand the lived experiences of so many different types of people and our community contains black and brown folks, differently abled folks, uh, people on the spectrum, you know, uh, people with auditory issues, people with visual issues, right, uh, you know, we know how to contain all that, and and I think that that's what society needs is, uh, they don't need scalding, they don't't need criticism, they need leadership through example, and I think that's what we're going to provide at Q Kansas City is to show, which is what we've done at Queer Bart Takeover we are. You know there are organizations that hold space for different groups, but we're really one of the only organizations in the city that holds space for both gays and lesbians to hang out together. We have a very great showing of trans folks and actually give free entry to trans folks. Right, black and brown folks feel included in our space and and and that's not from a lack of effort and making sure that the DJs that we hire, that the people who work the front desk, we're we're very, very intentional, and we have been for eight years with Queer Bar Takeover and I'm super excited to be just as intentional when we open the club.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, I mean, so get your red looks.

Speaker 1:

I have to find something. Is Queer Bar Takeover going to continue?

Speaker 2:

We won't be doing it in February because the grand opening will be our Queer Bar Takeover, but we'll continue to do that because queer partaker really provides an opportunity for us to build strategic partnerships with different venues across the city and continue to find a way for those groups to be a part of the movement.

Speaker 1:

A party like hello. You want us there.

Speaker 2:

You know, we'll go into a new venue and they'll be kind of a little uneasy about hosting and they're like what about this? I'm not about that. And then we'll host the event. They're like, oh my gosh, you guys are so much fun, the energy was so great, our employees had such a great time, you guys tip well and treat our staff well. We don't have any security issues and so many times those same venues will reach out to other community organizers who host drag shows there, who host, um, you know, different events, and then we just help promote those through the career calendar. And that's exactly what we're trying to do is open these doors. Whoever is holding space for the queer community, whoever's creating community, we want to help support that. And so, uh, you know that's kind of our approach. And so um't really believe in competition, we really believe in fostering all things, and when all boats rise, we all succeed and win, because there's plenty, plenty of room for all of us at the table.

Speaker 1:

Tell me who the we. You've mentioned we a couple of times. Who is we?

Speaker 2:

times. Who is we? Yeah, so uh, myself, uh, and my business partner is brett allred. So brett owns uh 10 other uh bars, both in in mahaton, kansas, waldo and here in westport. So brett is just.

Speaker 2:

I can't say enough great things about brett. He is such a uh, a kind and really generous person. Um, you know, I got to know him through uh hosting queer partakers, Lotus and yard bar and then the landing. Um, we hosted our eight anniversary at at the patio in Westport and Barner rec. Um, you know, he just was like man, you've really built a really great thing, Uh, and you really doing such a great job. You know, and you know we had kind of talked about have you ever thought about opening a space? And and I, you know I'm not interested in being at a bar at four in the morning, you know closing things down, and I thought, you know I'd love to do that, I just don't have it, I don't have it in my heart to do that. And he kind of proposed this idea that you know we could each provide our best efforts. Right, he has all this amazing experience he knows what he's doing.

Speaker 1:

He's like here you go, sir. Thank you for gathering the people here you go.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think Because of course that's the dream I've said often like hell, yeah, if I had the capital, I'd be out here trading so much you know what I mean Like, what a beautiful opportunity that all came from. Like you said, you stay grounded in what your intention is Right wasn't something that you sought. This was something that, like, literally, your good will and intention brought to you and I think this is just, I can't wait to see what you're about, man.

Speaker 2:

This is huge. It really is the law of attraction just keep hammering away at the things you're doing and and be you know, talk about it and put that intention out into the environment and people will find you. And you know, I think brett's a great example of what allyship looks like. He's been really generous, uh, uh, and also just really allowed me to take the lead and be the expert in saying this is what the career community wants. This is something that's really important. And he says if you say it's important, I believe you Right. And so he's been really great about the design of the space and really being intentional about that and and and really again being just that supportive big brother, essentially, you know, and and I think it's been really such a really great partnership. So, and then we've got a whole team of people, we've got Will Brown and Abraham Cologne who are doing the design work and really building in the intentional design elements. Jared Freeman sorry, jared Horman, carrie Brandt, jesse Green and Miles Crawley have been putting all these beautiful murals in space. Big team.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we've got a whole team and a lot of queer people that are really kind of baking their queer DNA into the space and I think it's fun to see queer people rise up and we've utilized all of our platforms to help support them and showcase their work. You know, tiffany Watts has been doing a lot of our social media and making sure that everyone continues to be a part of it and see the story. Yeah, I mean it's been really exciting and it's just been a fun project to work on, to be a part of it and see the story. Um, yeah, I mean it's been really exciting and it's just been a fun project to work on, to be honest.

Speaker 1:

And so here you are, you're at the, the final gamut. You've got it. What's the, what's your, what's your 10-year dream for this?

Speaker 2:

thing? Uh, my 10-year dream, I don't know. We'll continue to test and learn and see what works and what doesn't work. We're gonna let the community be our guide and we're gonna let the community tell us it's worked for us so far.

Speaker 2:

Um, every single concept has really been the dinner club has come out of like, you know, feel just feel disconnected. I need or I'm an introvert and queer particular is just not for you know, the calendar came out of like you're centering ourselves in our movement and you shouldn't be right. Uh, that was a hard lesson to learn. And so the calendar came out of oh, let me not be in any of the leadership, let me just megaphone what you're already doing and not change the message, right, um, you know so.

Speaker 2:

Um, st patrick's day is going to be. You know, all the gays have moved into into the neighborhood. We're going to throw our first house party for all of our street neighbors on st patrick's day and we're going to shut down the whole street and have drag queens on stilts. Uh, I think we're going to shut down the whole street and have drag queens on stilts. I think we're going to take our rightful place at the top of the social hierarchy here in Kansas City as the queer community, and I think we're going to open our doors and welcome the larger community in and show them what it looks like, what it feels like and what that somatic healing can look like, uh, because straight people um are going through the same stuff just in a different color, right, and I think that, uh, I'm super excited for the healing Um.

Speaker 2:

The mayor, the city manager, um the Westport community, all the owners have been so supportive and so excited about what we're bringing to the table um, and I think I am just stoked to to help um bring the gifts of the queer community to the forefront, and I'm super excited for what the queer community is going to do next. And I'm here to help, I'm here to support, I'm here to be that guide of someone who's been there. Done that.

Speaker 1:

I wrote down the power of the pivot man. That's where it's at.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely the power of the pivot Just continue to choose to change.

Speaker 1:

I wrote down one final question that I had written before we began talking. I wrote down I wanted to ask you what's your favorite thing about healing? And you just ended with I'm super excited for the healing, so what's? Your favorite thing about healing and you just ended with I'm super excited for the healing. So what is your favorite part about that? It's painful we know.

Speaker 2:

But what's the exciting thing about? There's something to heal here. Yeah, I think me personally I've had an opportunity to explore psychedelic healing, so through ayahuasca and through mushrooms and through um, utilizing um meditative space and and guides to take me through those journeys and really explore the psyche that I have. Um, healing is painful, but it's a different kind of pain that feels productive Um, and I have benefited so greatly from Buddhism through meditation, through those um healing experiences Uh, and I really am excited, uh, for other people to do that. You know, there's books that I've read and I essentially just like. There's a book called the velvet rage that talks about kind of moving to the three stages of authenticity and through regaining your power, and I bought 60, 70 copies of that and I just hand them out like candy.

Speaker 1:

That's such a good idea.

Speaker 2:

I write a little note in the cover and you know I've been doing that for probably 15 years. It's so great because people always come back and say that changed everything. You know that pivoted my life in a new direction and and I just want to thank you for that opportunity. You know, and those are the quiet things that happen in the dark, right, those are things. It's not something you're writing a press release about, but I think those little pieces all add up and yeah, that's how I it feels like that's kind of the work I'm doing and like

Speaker 1:

yeah exactly like it is, these little shifts, and it is hard to talk about because it's simple, but man, the impact can be so massive.

Speaker 2:

Well, and what it's so excited about is, um, you you're not going to go create a bar. You're doing different work. You're utilizing your gifts to to bring, to bring healing, to bring connection to, to to provide a whole different thing. And if every queer person can find their thing, we, we can create such a collective opportunity for both our community and the more broad community. And that's what I'm most excited about is for people to be working with you to start to heal and to start to be able to show up in a more meaningful way for themselves and for other people and to guide the next generation. I want them to have a hand forward and a hand backwards and to try to figure out how are they pushing their own life forward and how are they figuring out a way to bring somebody else along with them.

Speaker 2:

And I think we need to get back to community focused approaches. This individualistic world that we're living in. It's just not sustainable and we got to figure out a way to work together and support each other. And you know, every day is a different day, you know. I think that's what I'm trying to build at the leadership level of the queer movement here in kansas city. I'm really trying to focus nationally as well and make sure that those organizations know that we're here and we're ready to partner, and from a straight community. You know it's about the network, it's about the community and you know this work doesn't have to be so serious. It can be fun. Queer joy is an act of resistance and it's an act of somatic healing. Experiencing joy with your friends, experiencing joy with your community, and smiling, laughing, giggling, that's healing and I think we're going to, we're going to bring that in.

Speaker 1:

You said the word collective, and that was the word I've been thinking the whole time is it is a, it's a raising of a consciousness, right? So it's raising the conscious collective. And you mentioned on another interview that I listened to of yours, but you talked about just that moment in the night where I think you said 11 o'clock, where, just like you're just dancing, right, but if you have all that shit going on up here, you're not experiencing that. This queer joy that you're talking about really only comes with this type of work, because then it is somatic. I'm not in my mind, I'm literally just experiencing this moment, and that's a level of mindfulness that our community absolutely needs, especially right now, especially with what everything is going on.

Speaker 1:

Mindfulness is going to help us move towards thriving instead of just the survival mode we're going to lean towards, because that's kind of how we lean.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I think your voice is such a strong one. I'm happy to have met you in this way, and I am going to end with an affirmation for queer people. But I thought you know what I'm going to read, one for you. I mean it's kind of like a card poll but it's a book. So give me a page number anywhere between one and 120.

Speaker 2:

Let's do seven.

Speaker 1:

Your affirmation today, sir Seven your affirmation today, sir, oh gosh I have a loving and supportive community always by my side. Queer individuals are part of a beautiful, diverse and expansive community that offers love and support. Say it before bed or in the morning to start your day with love. I love it Absolutely Okay universe.

Speaker 2:

I know I love that.

Speaker 1:

I love it, this Okay universe. I love that, I love it.

Speaker 2:

This was such a fun show. That artist felt strong enough to write that book and we got to experience that that was a whole collective experience. Right, they were liberated enough and confident enough to take the ideas in their head and put them in a book and find a publisher and send it to the world.

Speaker 2:

Oh, my God, and that found you, and then that found me, and then now that found this whole community, right. Yes, I think my key message to queer people is there are so many innumerate gifts inside of you. Figure out what yours is and just start hammering away at it. Start showing up, start finding people who are doing similar work and maybe your work is, you know, organizing spreadsheets. We need spreadsheet gaze just as much as we need idea gaze, right. We need people who set up and tear down right. We need all kinds of fair people to contribute. So figure out a way to help support and find a place to belong and to help other people belong. And if we all just contribute a teaspoon, I'm actually on disability.

Speaker 1:

I am not someone who wants to?

Speaker 1:

do that, and I have a bachelor's degree in something that I can't work in anymore, and so it became like what are my gifts, man? Like what do I have? And I have a lot of years as a Mormon, which means a lot of teaching, a lot of talking, a lot of like. Talking about communication is something that I've always wanted to do and it was like why not, why not? And I just started creating, and it really is as powerful as this book I just read. I know that reels I have shared or things I have said have hit people and changed something about their course. That's wild that we have that level of influence and we each have it, and so if that's wild, that we have that level of influence and we each have it.

Speaker 2:

And so if, like you, the novel that we are are getting ready to write, and and I'll, I'll simply be the publisher, I can't wait for the stories of the queer community to come to the surface, and this is a this is a kind of butterfly moment that I think I am super excited to see. Uh, what comes comes next and I can see you're like the soul.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I, I'm just trying to bring the right vibration to this space and I think I just can't wait for the queer community to kind of like come together and I can't wait for them to giggle and laugh and yeah and make jokes right and bring the gifts they always do to to the space.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, oh man, I love it. I really enjoyed this. Thanks for joining me on, clearly attached, and I would love to have you back on. I think you and I have great chat man, so let's do it. Hey, it's like we're just coming out of cuffing season. We'll see if we make it to Valentine's, but hey, either way he said red pink, be there. Can't wait to see it. Hopefully you can make it.