Microjoys In A Loud World

We sit with the heaviness of a chaotic world and talk honestly about collective grief, nervous system regulation, and finding relief without numbing. Small, intentional moments—our microjoys—become the sturdy way back to presence and care.

• naming dysregulation and how grief lands in the body
• relief vs avoidance and why regulation matters
• microjoys that help—coffee, books, yoga, safe connection
• returning to reading and creative outlets for calm
• rest as a tool—taking PTO, sleeping, slowing down
• balancing chores, workouts, and energy across the week
• technology breaks and practicing slower living
• mortality, aging, gratitude, and values
• kindness to self and others as a steady compass
• holding dual truths—heavy world and moments of joy

“Reach out to us on Instagram. We answer every message that comes through.”

Transcript

Why The World Feels On Fire

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Hi, welcome to your friend in grief. I'm Melinda. I'm here with Milani. And today we're sort of going off script of off script. It's a special episode. So I'm gonna turn it over to Milani for a minute.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Welcome in everyone. Mindy and I decided that what we were feeling was we were probably not alone with what's been going on in the world. And we really wanted to just spend some time with you all and talk about how we're feeling and maybe it will resonate with you. Um I feel like I've woken up in a giant dumpster fire. Like our world is on fire.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

I agree with that. That's how I feel as well. That everything's on fire, right?

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Yes. It's it's not even just like a little sliver of something. It's really, it feels like everything is on fire.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

Absolutely. There's it's not living in the US, it's not just the US turmoil, there's international turmoil, there's there's just a lot.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Right. And it's heavy, it's very heavy, and recognizing that everything is all connected, right? Um yeah, I I feel um I feel heartbroken.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

Understood. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

It also feels would you say that your nervous system is more regulated now than it was in the early days of your loss?

SPEAKER_03 1:50

Um, in general, you mean? Yes. Yes, from the early days of loss, I was definitely um very dysregulated, was absolutely all over the map. And over the past five and a half years, I have gotten to the point where I am more regulated for sure on a regular basis. Um, but to your point, where I think you were headed is this is I feel very dysregulated right now.

Dysregulated Nervous Systems And Grief

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Yes, so that is exactly how I'm feeling right now. And I was trying to kind of um put words to it, right? And that's really what I like. I've it's been hard to focus. I feel um weepy, I feel sad, I feel exhausted, like emotionally, physically exhausted. Um yeah, it's been so this is and it's kind of like it's everywhere, and it's every time I get on social media, every time I put on the news, it's just everywhere. I mean, out in the world, people are talking about it. Um so there's really no escaping it. Not that I'm okay, so I'm I'm not looking for an escape. I just want some relief, I guess. Yeah. And how do you do that? How do you find the relief?

SPEAKER_03 3:20

You know, and I and I think that that's probably the main reason that we wanted to do this special episode, because it would be inauthentic of us to talk about not feeling the things that you're feeling, right? Because that is one of the things that we talk about is that in order to move through things, you have to feel what you're feeling. Um and we've also talked about how um all change is grief, right? That's if even if you change your job and you go to a new job, you're still saying goodbye to things in your in your prior job, even if it was great, even if it's an unbelievable opportunity, you're grieving the fact that you don't you're gonna be missing your colleagues, you're going to be sure maybe not knowing how to do your new job. And all of that is grief, right? So bringing grief to the everyday-to-day, I think that there is a lot of value in talking about how do we try to regulate our systems during a very tumultuous time that we're feeling right now when it is everywhere, right? It's on social media, it's on when on the news. It's you can't really get away from it if you are engaged in any kind of social media or news or anything like that, right? And I think I've seen a lot about this, and we had actually planned to do this a few weeks ago, and then you were sick for a couple of weeks because let's just talk about this. Flu A is crazy this year, and it will knock you out for a few weeks. Yeah, and it's crazy, and it's all new symptoms, and even COVID has all new symptoms right now. So I mean, even if you just talk about the normal flu season, we're all feeling anxious and stressed about that too. Right. Um so, but in the past couple of weeks, one of the things I've seen is um when you have these big macro things happening in the world and day to day, it's the micro joys. Yes. I've seen a lot about that, and it's really fascinating because over the past couple of weeks I've seen people talking about how they regulate their body, like doing movement, or they will like they will do something that is physical that even if it's just to do a yoga pose to just try to relax and kind of get the butt blood flowing in their body, right? Right. And I think all of those types of things can help. And I think, you know, I think we can talk about some of the things that what are the micro joys that you find help you?

Seeking Relief Without Escaping

SPEAKER_01 6:03

Um yeah, so I'm I'm careful not to, I don't want to avoid, right? Like you're talking about how we have to feel in order to be able to, you know, get to the next step or move through this um highly emotionally charged time in our lives. Um so I don't want to escape, right? Because I think this the things that we do to protect ourselves from feeling the feels are the same things that don't allow those micro-joy moments to come in, right? Absolutely. So I'm really careful not to build these walls that are um impenetrable. Uh for for me, it's it's very simple things. It it could be a quiet moment with a cup of tea, um a quiet moment with my coffee in the morning before the rest of the world is awake, right? Um journaling, spending time with you. Yep. Um, because I I feel so safe with you. Um and you and I have recently learned why it is that I'll confess it.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

Yes. The past, and I and maybe let's quantify this. Maybe it's just been the past couple of weeks. Yes. So I didn't do this before, but this I think being more aware of my body, being more aware. I actually said to Melani, I'm like, why is it every time I get on a FaceTime call with you, I'm yawning. I had not yawned like all day. It might be three o'clock, and I give her a quick call, or it's in the evening, or it's in the morning, and I'm like, why am I yawning? Well, I Googled it, and guess what? Yawning is a way to kind of release tension, it's kind of relaxing your body, and it's like, oh, well, that's what I'm doing. That's a that's a way to regulate my body, right? That and the gallons of cold brew that I've been drinking because I love my tea, but lately I'm a cold brew girl. Right. It's just something that makes me happy, yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

And you and I have been uh diving headfirst back into reading.

SPEAKER_03 8:31

Yes. Um after Mike died, I could not read. And you commented that somebody we follow kind of on the book talk in on Instagram, but on the book side that was having a very similar issue with just having a recent loss and wasn't able to read, and it was like his only hobby.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Right, reading the same paragraph over and over. Yes, I've I've done been there reading the same sentence over and over again and we're really like nothing sinking in.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

Yes, and I couldn't read right after Mike died, but my January reading has been spectacular.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Mine too.

SPEAKER_03 9:10

I have read so many good books, and I'm still reading good books, and I'm I think part of it is I'm trying to make time for me to have a physical book and quiet time in the evening, laying in bed or the couch with the cats and kind of turning out the rest of the world. It's that time for me to decompress a little bit, even I'm not really trying to disassociate, but it is a way to have some time and space away from the noise. Yes, and I think that that might be a symbol of why you and I have I think I've read six books in January. I'm on my eighth book, and that's never happened. I didn't even make my 25 books last year for my reading goal. I was at like 24, 23. Right. This year I don't I upped it a little bit, but like January has been on fire.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Yeah. I mean, I think I read all of last year, like 10 books, and here I am in the first month of the year, and I'm almost there, right? Yeah. Right.

Microjoys And Body-Based Regulation

SPEAKER_03 10:18

And one thing that I was craving to do is through work, we were doing something for some elderly uh seniors, and it was like writing them letters or a little card, making a card, and I kind of embraced it and was like, okay, I need to do this. Like I was compelled to do it. And I'm not, I don't draw well. I'm like, I looked at some tutorials and tried to, you know, I didn't want to do stick figures, right? Let's be clear. So, but it but it was one of those things where I did some of that last night and it was relaxing and it was kind of an outlet, and it brought me a little bit of joy.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Yes. So I think it's really about finding something, whatever that something is, that allows you to kind of just get lost in it, to put your focus and your thoughts someplace else, yep, to something that is uh more calming, more productive for peace, that feeling of peace in your nervous system. Um yeah, and like I said, for everybody, it would be different. Absolutely. You know, it could be baking, it could be cooking, it could be arts and crafts, it it could be a mindful meditative walk, spending time with your kids, spending time with your family, your loved ones, um, whatever it is. I think it's just really important to remember to be good to yourself, to allow yourself these moments of micro joy, because really when you look back on it, you will realize that those moments of micro joy were really macro.

SPEAKER_03 12:04

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think you know, it is the small things and it's it is what brings you joy in the moment, right? Like I just think I've had conversations with um with friends that I haven't connected with that I because I don't speak to them all the time regularly because life life is busy, um, but spending two hours on a call with a friend a couple weeks ago and you know having that connection. And I've had a lot of company in January. So while people is hard, even with people you love, it's been really fantastic to have that time with people. And one of my friends that came to visit, honestly, the most fun we had, I knew it was going to be the most fun for us, is we went and got coffee and then we went to the bookstore. And that was fun because we both read and we share our reading stuff, and it's like, oh, you should read this book. Oh, this one's really good. Like the boat, it was just a fun, it was a fun connection and time to be together. And I think we take for granted some of those moments and maybe don't just be present in them. Yes. And I think it's okay to be like, you know what, we're gonna go have coffee and we're gonna go spend a little money at the bookstore and it's gonna be fun.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

And just I mean, I I think sometimes you have to be when the noise is so loud and you're like, oh my god, like I feel overwhelmed, and like what do I do? I I think you really just kind of have to like take a step back, take a deep breath, and be really intentional about the things that you need to do to bring you to a place of peace or quiet. Maybe you don't have peace um because that's hard, right? Right. Um, the world is still spinning around us, but some quiet time.

Reading Returns As A Lifeline

SPEAKER_03 14:06

Yeah, and you know, and you commented on this, you're like, I'm really proud of you for prioritizing yourself this week. And I was starting to not feel good towards the beginning, like mid of the middle of the week, all of a sudden I was kind of running a low-grade fever, like Tuesday, Wednesday, and I'm like, I don't know what's going on. I um got a B12 shot, I did my oregano oil, I because I had I had been skipping my oregano oil, so I started doing it again. But the other thing I did was I looked at my schedule, I looked at my work schedule, and I request I asked if I could take Thursday off. And I had big meetings on Wednesday, and I really struggled staying awake Wednesday afternoon, even though I had didn't have a sleeping issue, I was just not feeling great. Right. I slept that night, I slept most of Thursday, and then yesterday I went to work and I was so incredibly productive, I felt better, and you know, that having that break for my body and maybe even my mind helped because I got so much done yesterday, right? Even having Thursday off, and so I think we have to really prioritize ourselves, and everybody's like, oh, well, that's not a great way to spend your PTO. Well, I needed it, I wasn't feeling good, I needed to have that day, and it gave my body time to rest and recover a little bit, so that maybe I wasn't down for the count like I could have been had I not taken off.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Yes, you were totally heading that way.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

I was, and to be able to prioritize that, that you know, Friday night I got my laundry done, it's still in the dryer, but it's done. It's done, it's there. Um, but that also means that today, I mean, it's 10:30. We're already recording the podcast. I was up early. I'm watching it snow in Georgia, and I'm feeling good about my day. Yes. I'm feeling good that I'm gonna have time to read later. The cats are the cats are napping. They've been running around and playing this morning. They've that brings me joy. Being able to just kind of chill and not have to have adult responsibilities, even though I have taken care of some personal business things today, right? But I think you have to balance it.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Yeah, I I and that's probably key there, right? Because there's something in our brains that tells us that like we can't play until we've like done our work.

SPEAKER_03 16:49

Oh, that's a thousand percent me. And I think I told you I can't start a new book until I finish those cards. Right. And you're like, oh, that's the rule. And I'm like, yeah, because if I start reading, uh the cards are never getting done. Right. And one thing I've noticed about you over the past few weeks, you guys are experimenting with a lot more recipes, which baking and cooking is really that's an outlet for you guys. And one thing I've noticed is you're like, oh, we tried a new recipe, or we're do we're cooking something new, or yes. And I I recognize that in you the past couple of weeks.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Well, the other thing too is like um not feeling good the last couple of weeks because it it hit me a so my birthday was the 19th, that was a Monday, and it hit me like the Wednesday or Thursday before that, right? Yes, and um, I have you in my ear, balance, rest, it's okay, you know. Um you know, when you don't feel good, there's not much that you can do, right? And yes, I could have pushed through, I could have been like, no, I have this and this and that and all these things that need to be done, but it didn't do that. I just leaned into the I need some quiet, I need some time to just rest because I feel like garbage and I need to get better, right? Yeah, um, and I think in doing that, it allows me to be creative in other ways because my mind is calm. Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:32

Yeah, well, and I do think that this is I think this is a really good point when people are feeling like I have to do something about what's happening in the world, I have to do something what's happening in the world. You know, I think we have to step back and take care of ourselves first and make sure that we're feeling emotionally stable and regulated and like calm. And so I think it's really important to know that you can take a step back, like I did on Thursday, and my body was not feeling good, and then you can come back stronger, or just come back, right?

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Like, not even like do I don't think we even need to like measure it, like not even just stronger, like just be able to come back to be present, right? To be present in your body, right? Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Creative Outlets And Safe Connection

SPEAKER_03 19:26

And you know, with all the things going, and I know this is silly, but all the things going on in the world, I came back Friday, I was getting all my stuff done, and then it's like boom, Catherine O'Hara died. Like, are you kidding me? Yeah, and that's but that's she brought joy to people. And and we talked a little bit about this uh before, about sort of seeing people of our generation or a little older that are starting to pass away. And do you think that that's directly related to how we fear our own mortality?

SPEAKER_01 20:01

Possibly. I do you actually feel your mortality?

SPEAKER_03 20:07

I don't, and I know that's weird.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

I don't because there's there is a part of me that's like, oh, I get to hang out with Evan.

SPEAKER_03 20:17

So I um my family has breast cancer in my maternal line, and when Mike was alive, I did all the MRIs, the ultrasounds, like twice a year MRIs with contrast, without did all those things. After Mike died, I'm kind of like, eh, I don't know that I'm gonna go to that effort anymore. Not that I'm not getting my mammograms, I am getting my mammograms, I'm just and I've been clean for a number of years, so it I haven't had issues, but I don't feel as compelled to be like, I've gotta be, what is the word, over, you know. Yeah. So it's different. It's different, and maybe maybe others feel their own mortality when they see someone who's 10, 12 years older than them passing away. I don't have that. And I don't know that I I don't know if I had it before or if I've just lost it since Mike.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

Right. I for I don't think it's about fearing my mortality. I think it's more about and there's probably some vanity in this. It's more about like, whoa, I am getting older. I'm I'm not in my mind, I'm 26. Right. Right, until I walk by and see a reflection someplace and I'm like, well, I'm not 26 anymore. Right. Right. So yeah, I think it's a recognition of that I am getting older and what a privilege that is, right? Because we're still here. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

And I yeah, I I'm just like, okay. I'm gonna be fifty-seven. Okay, that's fine. Like the only thing that scares me is like and it's in my will, like that the babies are taken care of. The cats, the cats are taken care of. Like that's that's my only fear. I got you. I got you. I know. I know that and just you know, erase the Kindle.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

No, I'm gonna read. I think you have a lot more interesting stuff on your Kindle than I do on mine.

SPEAKER_03 22:38

Give it time, friend, give it time. You know, desperate times. You know, what whatever whatever it takes. Like just, you know, you know, it's these are tough times. Yeah, but it's you know, I definitely think that you have to find joy in the small things. And that's like today, like it turned out to snow, which I didn't expect. And I'm like, all right, we're gonna snuggle all day. We're gonna chill, we're gonna throw shits creek on, we're gonna read, we're gonna have shits creek on in the background, we're gonna just do our thing. And that is gonna help my system be like, okay. Yes, this is great.

Rest, PTO, And Prioritizing Health

SPEAKER_01 23:33

So when you started to feel overwhelmed, were you like, oh my gosh, what's wrong with me? Like, why do I feel this way?

SPEAKER_03 23:40

Yeah, I don't think I recognized what was happening. I I absolutely don't think I recognized it. Um, and actually, I do think it was kind of a stress pattern that I was reliving and thinking, wow, why am I anxious again and why am I this again? And I I don't I think I recognized it, but didn't recognize why it was happening. And then it was like I leaned into the books, and you know, I had I had a couple visitors, we made a couple trips to the bookstore, and I have a TBR that is to die for right now, right? But I haven't done that, gone to the bookstore and bought physical books like I did in years. And I think in a way that was a response to the world at large. And I think it was like, okay, this is gonna bring books bring me joy. Right. I love touching books. I have um a couple of the books that I bought are they have sprayed edges, like they're fancy, right? They're cute, they're fancy books, and I'm like, ooh, like it's different for me that I've not done that before. And yeah, it's just kind of a weird thing, but it's definitely I think it that was my reaction to feeling overwhelmed and sort of overstimulated that I leaned into something that used to bring me joy and like I I love to read and I loved to read before Mike died. I've picked it back up the past few years, but this past year was the first year I read with intention. And so now I just kind of leaned into that even more. Right. So I think that's yeah, and I've I've kind of prioritized that, right? Over not over the podcast, but I have another business, and I've kind of I've kind of pulled back on that only because the way the the world is right now, it feels a little disingenuous. Like, hey, here's jewelry, but at the same time, it also is kind of like I needed to pull back from my mental health of like I could do that, I could do this, I could work my real job, and then I could take care of my house and my health. Yes. And I've started going back to a gym twice a week. I've had 13 classes. I skipped last week because I was not feeling well, but I'll be back at it on Tuesday, and I think all those things help. Absolutely, but I think you have to recognize when it's time to pause on some stuff, and that's okay. Like, there's nothing to say that I can't go back to that.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

I just there's a lot right now. What do we say to the listeners who are having trouble recognizing that what they're feeling has has to do with collective grief with what's going on in our world? I mean, because not everybody can piece that together. Right.

SPEAKER_03 26:55

Right. And I think, yeah, I mean, I think it's something to recognize that it's okay to feel overwhelmed right now. It's okay to feel overstimulated by the world and the news. And it's okay to take a pause, take a beat. Pause what you need to pause, take care of yourself, and do what you need to do to get that energy back. Absolutely. Because you can't be present and if you're if you're focused on like the stress of surviving. Like that's the hamster wheel, right? Is I just gotta survive, I just gotta get through it. I just gotta get one more one more thing done before I can rest. And it's like, no, maybe you need to rest. Yeah. And maybe that's okay.

Mortality, Aging, And Perspective

SPEAKER_01 27:52

Um I think for me it probably started around the holidays. Yeah. And um, you know, you and I were talking this morning before we started recording about how grief has a lot of physical components, even like in your appearance and how you're feeling in your body. Um okay, do a little experiment with me. Okay, ball up your fists absolutely as hard as you can. I mean, like, give it everything you got. Now let go. That release felt good, right? Yeah. The that feeling of like everything is so tense, like that's how I feel in my stomach. Right. Like in my core, that's how I feel. I feel that like in my heart, in my gut, in my soul. That's and taking a step back has allowed me that release. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:04

Right. And I think, you know, and we always want to be authentic and transparent. And I'm gonna do that right now. The video for this episode will never make it online, no matter what happens, no matter what happens, even when the YouTube channel is up and running, this video will not be available. Audio only. But I mean, I'm gonna be clear. I was like, I don't want to put on makeup. I I don't I don't want to do that today, but I do want to record the the episode, yes, and so yeah, and I'm sitting on my bed with a blanket, my cats are near me, and it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Yeah, and I didn't brush my hair again.

SPEAKER_03 29:48

I didn't brush my hair either.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

I also put on a pimple patch.

SPEAKER_03 29:53

I I prioritize the cold brew, then brushing the hair. I'm like, no. I took I took care of the cats, I scooped the litter, but said no, we're not brushing the hair, I'll scoop the cat's litter box instead. Because that is good for them and it's also good for me. It's a task done. Um then we can chill until this evening. Nothing else has to get done today. Right. And I think that that's the important thing is does it have to get done today? Or can you balance it out to so that you're because I am very guilty of front loading all the work, and then I'm exhausted by the end of the week. I am absolutely guilty of that. And it's really personal work, right? It's not work work, sure, it's personal work, and um I think that that's one of the things that I have been very guilty of, and I think that going to work out twice a week has helped me with that because now I try to balance it, right? Of like, okay, well, Tuesdays and Thursdays are busy, but like Wednesdays I gotta do this or I gotta do that. So it forces me to have balance. Sure. If I want to go to that class, and so I think in a way it's forced balance, but it's also helping me find that balance. And because of that, I think I'm able to enjoy my weekends more because by the time Friday comes, my laundry's done. I don't technically have many chores that I have to do. Maybe I'm doing more during the week, but it's it's not all front loaded. Right. Because like Mike and I used, he used to have this belief that he was like, it's Friday night, it's party night, like we're done with work for the week. We're gonna woo-hoo, we're gonna have pizza, we're gonna hang out, we're gonna drink, we're gonna have whatever. And I was like, why? We have spent all day working? Why wouldn't you just do the rest of the chores? Because in my head, it was like I've spent my whole Friday, like, I've already worked, like I've only got about five hours left. Like, right, I'm gonna do laundry, and I would do laundry on Friday nights, but it was two different, and then we would have Saturday and Sunday, but we still had chores on Saturday and Sunday.

SPEAKER_00 32:17

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 32:18

And he was like, Woo! And I'm like, no, I didn't get to sleep in, I didn't get to do any of these things. And I think there's been a shift. Good, and that's that balance, yes. Do you feel the difference, right? Yeah, and do you have, I mean, have there are there things that you have changed that help you with balance?

Balance, Boundaries, And Weekend Rhythms

SPEAKER_01 32:38

Um well, I think just being more forgiving to myself and saying no, you don't have to do that on a certain day. Like the world's not gonna fall apart. Your world will not fall apart if you don't go do that today. It can wait, you know, like it you can do it tomorrow or the day after when you're feeling up to it. Um, yeah, I for me it's letting myself off the hook. Okay. Right? And just being more forgiving to myself. And you're tight on yourself. I am, and like that feeling of like be feeling tight and stressed and like feeling this in my core, um, I hate that feeling.

SPEAKER_02 33:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

And I also recognize that I do that to myself.

SPEAKER_03 33:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

So being able to just let go and have that release is huge for me.

SPEAKER_03 33:43

I jokingly call it being lazy, and I know it's not, but I'm like, I just want to be lazy. Like, I want to have that, like doing everything as we know, having lost spouses, everything is on you now. And you have to find that balance, otherwise, it will burn you the fuck out. Oh, totally, totally. And on top of the crazy world that we're living in, that's just not good. You can't our bodies are not meant to handle that kind of tension and stress, and nervous the nervous system can't handle it. And I definitely think that we feel things in our bodies when we are. I mean, stress. I think stress is probably one of the biggest contributors of death and illness and everything because I think we do it for ourselves, and it's yes, the world is so fast and all the things. And I think I kind of miss the slow times, right? The yes back in the good old days before the internet and you know, when we when kids had to go outside and play because there was nothing else to do. Um, I feel like maybe a little less technology time or whatever. It feels it feels calmer when you have that break.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

Yes, totally. I um when Evan was little, we would be like getting ready to go somewhere, and then I would see him like quietly playing with his toys and just like in being in the moment and enjoying whatever he was doing. And I would cancel whatever it is that we were on our way to do because I could I couldn't bring myself to interrupt this peaceful, joyful moment that he was experiencing and really like let him have it, right? I love that. I would sit with him and just like play with him. Like we just played, right? And gosh, it would be nice to get back to that. And so I guess in my in my version of sitting and playing, that is the cooking, the baking, the reading. Yeah, you know, the scribbling in my doodle journal, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 36:12

Yeah, and I I think it's one of the reasons I've gravitated to physical books because there is no distraction. Even if I'm on my Kindle, I might check my phone. Yeah. But when I'm reading a book and I've got to focus on holding the light or whatever else, it's like, okay, it feels different.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:32

I'm really focused. And I think I think that that makes a difference. So what for our listeners out there who are struggling with some of this? What are some of the things that are small that might help them? That some things maybe that you do that might just help them.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

Um first I would say everything that you're feeling is totally normal. I don't feel like you're over-sensitive or over-emotional or anything like that. It's completely normal. Um, if you need to take a step back from the news, from social media, absolutely do that. It's hard when it's coming at you from all different directions.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

Right.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Um find something to do that helps to regulate your nervous system, whatever that is. Be kind to yourself. Yeah, definitely be kind to yourself. Um you know, if if I came to you and said, Oh my god, I'm feeling so stressed, it's too much, everything is too much. You would you would what would you say to me? You would say, take a breath. Yep, it's okay. You know, everything you're feeling is normal. And so the things that we would say to other people, we have to recognize for ourselves as well.

Tech Breaks And Slower Living

SPEAKER_03 37:58

Absolutely, absolutely, and it may be something small, it may be taking a walk with your dog, it might be sitting and playing with your cats, it might be, you know, just watching the snowfall, just taking a little bit of joy in that of like, I don't have to go out and look at the big snowflakes that are coming down, right? Like and just recognizing that maybe not everything has to happen today. No, and that it's okay to take a step back because when you do and you give your body that rest and your mind that rest, then you come back to your point, not necessarily not necessarily stronger, or we need to put anything on that, but you are able to come back and be present again.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

Yes, absolutely, and then and also for me, I I don't want to let what is going on in the world change who I am. Um, you know, I'm I'm gonna keep holding on to my belief and my wish that love is the ultimate thing that will heal us, right? And so I'm gonna just keep believing that, and nobody's gonna tell me any different.

SPEAKER_03 39:20

No, and I think that that is I think it's a beautiful thing, and I think it absolutely is. Kindness is the way through this. Yes, it is absolutely the way through this, and um, and that means to ourselves as well as to each other. Completely. And I miss the days where you could disagree with someone and have a conversation about it. I feel like that communication is just gone. And I think I I I think the digital age has has really changed that, but it has. I remember having conversations with people and you can have a discussion, and like I don't necessarily agree with your beliefs, but that's okay, and that's okay too, and we can still go on and let's have dinner and let's talk about books and let's do this, and it was okay, and I missed that too. Yes, and there's grief in that, sure, there's grief in that, and I think that's the thing that maybe we don't all recognize is that when you're you can grieve so many things in this world, absolutely, and we can also have be feeling all this heaviness and feeling so overwhelmed, and also have these moments of joy, both can be true at the same time, right? Yes, yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 40:37

So I would I would say the biggest takeaway for me would be lean into your moments of microjoy because really they are the big moments.

SPEAKER_03 40:47

Yeah, I agree, I agree, and I think on that note we're going to leave you with that as the final thoughts for this episode. I think um thank you for listening. We hope it resonated and maybe helped you maybe get through the next couple of weeks, or you know, today maybe it just feels a little less heavy.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

Absolutely, and you know, if if somebody is just needing somebody to connect with, reach out to us on Instagram. Absolutely. Because we answer every message that comes through.

SPEAKER_03 41:21

We do, absolutely, we do. Okay. Well, thank you, and we'll talk soon.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

Absolutely. Be good to yourselves.

unknown 41:29

Bye.