The Weight Remains

Some losses don’t get lighter. They just get carried differently, and that truth can feel both terrifying and strangely relieving. Melinda and Melani talk about “the weight remains” and what that really means when grief lives not only in your feelings, but in your body, your calendar, and your daily to-do list.

We dig into the physical symptoms of grief and bereavement that people rarely warn you about: exhaustion that steals your social battery, sleep problems, appetite changes, brain fog, and the constant strain of handling responsibilities you used to share with a partner. We also talk honestly about overlap with hormones and aging, and how it can be hard to tell what’s grief and what’s everything else. One of the most important takeaways is the backpack analogy: the rocks don’t disappear, but you can build strength and support so the load stops flattening you.

You’ll hear a raw story about anxiety after loss, including what it’s like to think you’re having a heart attack and learn it’s a panic attack, plus why medication can be a valid form of grief support with zero shame attached. We also unpack “two things can be true at once” as a lifeline: you can smile and still miss them, you can thrive and still hurt, you can need bed and still be healing. Finally, we get practical about relationships, like who feels safe enough for the real answer to “how are you,” how to be honest with kids, and why “checking on you” can land better than forced positivity.

If you’ve been wondering why you’re still tired, still tender, or still carrying it years later, you’re not broken, you’re grieving. Subscribe for more honest conversations, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the words you wish someone had said to you.

Transcript

Welcome And Setting The Space

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Hello. Welcome to Your Friend in Grief, a podcast for anyone learning who they are after loss. I'm Melinda and I'm here with Melani, and we're so grateful you're here. This is a space where grief is honored, healing is not rushed, and your heart is allowed to feel everything it feels. Milani and I are walking this path with you through honest conversation, shared stories, and the kind of friendship that holds you up on the days you need it most. Thank you for being here. Hi, friend.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

Hello, friend.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

How are you?

SPEAKER_03 0:34

I'm okay. How are you?

SPEAKER_02 0:36

I am good. I think we've uh, you know, had some technical challenges, which we do every time, so I feel like that's normal.

SPEAKER_03 0:43

I know.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

And that's okay. You know what? We're honest, and that's who we are, and we are not technical challenges.

SPEAKER_04 0:49

No, something we're gonna jump on and be able to like.

The Prompt The Weight Remains

SPEAKER_02 0:52

It's gonna be fabulous. It's gonna be fabulous. Okay, I have pulled the wheel up. Can't really see it yet, but there's the wheel. And I'm gonna start it and see what our topic is today. And hopefully it won't be. It's always gonna be heavy, right? It's always gonna be heavy.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

The weight remains.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Oh, the weight remains. You know, the first thing I think about that is yes, it does, and I am still I'm thinking about the physical weight. Uh, you know, there's that too.

SPEAKER_04 1:34

Um be kinder to yourself because you've made great strides.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

You know what? Hey, the fact that I am going to the gym now and I love my Legris classes, and that I only skipped this week because of work deadlines and stuff, like, hey, that stuff happens. But I'm anxious to get back to it on Tuesday, so it's good. It's good. We're making progress. Yes, you are, but it is it is something that I think about um on the regular that it's not just the emotional weight, but it's the physical weight too. Yes, right, and it takes a toll. And grief feels physically heavy and emotionally heavy at the same time. Um because it is, it absolutely is, and your tolerance for things, both physical and emotional, are diminished. Absolutely. Um, my social battery, I don't have that anymore. I absolutely need time to reset and recharge more than I ever did before. And um, but physically too, like if I go out running errands all day long and on a Saturday, and then I'm like, oh, we gotta go like meet friends for dinner, I can't do it. It's too much.

SPEAKER_04 2:53

Yeah. You know those things we see on Instagram where they say we'd give you a million dollars if you stayed in your inside your house for a month?

SPEAKER_02 3:01

I need to collect.

SPEAKER_04 3:04

I'm like, no problem.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Where do I collect my money? And what do you need what do you need to do?

SPEAKER_04 3:12

Well, you know, I'm I'm a shy person to begin with. I know you probably don't believe that, right? I do. Um so people is already challenging for me, but definitely, like you said, when you have a depleted social battery, yeah, that's hard. Yeah. Because all your energy is going into like, oh, I have to breathe today and function, and right, and like I have to do all these normal adulting human things, and I'm doing it under like Yes.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

Are we doing it under duress or duress was absolutely the word I had in my head?

SPEAKER_04 3:50

Or not necessarily the okay, so we're, you know, because I say on a good I always say on a good day, it's still a hard day.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

It absolutely is. Sorry, I had to um yes, it is under duress, and it is it's different, right? Like I've said this before, that like I know there are single people in the world who do this all the time, but after having a partner for 22 years, it's hard. It's hard to be the one taking care of the cats, the one to feed the cats always, like the one to get the groceries, the one to to put away the groceries, to make the food, to um make sure to remember what you need from the grocery store of all those things. And I know I know people do it all the time. It's just when you're carrying that grief, it's just much harder. There's less space for that in the brain with the brain fog and you know, something that I'm recognizing that couldn't maybe be not just grief, but like the perimenopause and the menopause shit, like add that on top of it, and you're like you're screwed. Like there's you don't have a chance.

Brain Fog Sleep And Daily Load

SPEAKER_04 5:01

Yeah, you know, it it's kind of like running around with ankle weights on.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

Yes. Yes. I, you know, I really started having sleep problems after Mike died, and now I don't know if that was just I know that it was because of my grief for sure. Um, because you're waking up and you're like, wait, it was just a dream, right? Like, and that's like that whole first year of waking up hoping it was a dream. And then as you recognize that it's not, you just kind of you know, everything is is just sort of off, and it's constantly off. And I think that that's um I just think that the weight absolutely is something that is both physically and emotionally that people don't think about or talk about or are prepared for.

SPEAKER_04 5:55

Um, I think about the analogy that you used to the backpack and carrying the weight in the backpack, right? And so that was something that my grief counselor had talked to me about initially. Like it it's the same weight.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Yeah, like the weighted vest.

SPEAKER_04 6:14

Right. You've just gotten better at carrying it.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 6:17

It nobody took any of the rocks out of the backpack.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

No, no, and and in the beginning, it is extremely heavy, and like all the things, and you're responsible. And you know, you and I've talked about this this time of year for me, it's very heavy because of taxes and having to do all that, and it just is because that was something that he was so good at and proficient at that I never had to worry about it, and not just having to worry about it, but it's like, okay, I missed this or I missed this, and it's like, alright, you know.

SPEAKER_04 6:54

I I don't think that I ever do anything where I'm not like, oh, I forgot this, or I I didn't, you know, like, oh, it didn't include this. I in anything, whether it's going to the supermarket or I have a conversation with you, and then afterwards when we hang up, I'm like, oh, I forgot to tell Mindy. Like, yeah, like the brain is definitely wired differently now.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Yeah, there's there's always something forgotten, there's always something left out. There's um, you know, you don't remember what you were doing, you get distracted, and you're like, oh, I forgot what I was doing. And I, you know, yes, I know that can be a menopause thing too, but it really impacts when it's grief. It really is a symptom of grief as well. And I think that that's you know, people just may be like, oh, well, maybe I'm just getting older or whatever, but it's it's a heaviness, and there's a fog, there's brain fog, there's there's so many physical elements to grief that I don't think people really recognize.

SPEAKER_04 8:00

I I think you're right about that because it I mean it affects your sleep, it affects your weight, it affects your hormones, um, your blood pressure, all of it. Cholesterol, you know, everything. It aches, joint pain, aches and pains, yep, headaches, your appetite, um your energy levels.

Panic Attack Story And Medication

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Yeah, because in I mean, for me, when I was in the first parts of grief, like my family that was with me, they were bringing me breakfast every morning. Like, and sometimes I would eat it, and sometimes I mean it would be like later in the day when I would eat it and I would be starving. But um, they always brought me tea, they always brought me food, and I I when somebody's doing that for you, it's such an act of kindness that you don't eat that they don't even probably recognize that what they did was so incredible and that was so what I needed because when I was by myself, I was lucky to like grab a piece of cheese or crackers because I'm just like I'm not hungry, I don't have the energy for it, and you know, when we talk about the weight and kind of the physical things, I don't I think you and I've talked about this, but Mike died in July, and right around the end of December, it was like the 30th of December. I uh had been look, I had been down, I had been actually at an all day half a day appointment for um picking out all the wood and everything for my house. And I was having like heart palpitations. So I had to drive myself to like I pushed it and I didn't I I could have gone to an urgent care down here and I didn't. I drove back to Atlanta and I went to an urgent care near me, and don't forget this is COVID, and that particular urgent care near our old neighborhood was a COVID-only facility, so I was like, fuck it. The hospital, the heart hospital's not that far from here, and I went I went to the emergency room, and I thought I was having a heart attack like Mike did. I didn't know, and turns out it was a panic attack, and I had never had panic attacks before, never in a million years, and the cardiologist told me the next morning because they admitted me, put all the things on me, and I was terrified. And he's like, Yeah, you have anxiety because you're fine when you're in here by yourself. The minute somebody walks in the room, everything spikes. And I'm like, Oh, well, I've lost my husband, I've had to, I've sold my house, I sold a car, I moved in with family. Like, no, I can't imagine what what has got me anxious at all, right? And you know, and then I was medicated for 10 months, heavily medicated, and it takes a toll on you, and it just I just think people need to take better care of themselves and be more be a little give themselves a little more grace, just like you said I should about the gym. But it's harder to see in ourselves. Yes, um, but we do deserve grace when we're dealing with these things because I thought everything was fine, and then all of a sudden I'm like, oh my god, what's wrong with my heart? And it's like, oh, it's anxiety, and we're talking, I'm coming up on six years and I'm on different medication now, but still on medication, and think it's the only way I survive through the through the day.

SPEAKER_04 12:00

And there's nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

Right. I absolutely am accepting of it and I'm okay with it. There is no shame in it at all. Um a lot of people uh around me said, Oh my god, what a change it was when you did go on medication, right? And that's a big sign.

SPEAKER_04 12:18

Um when I first met you was when you had first started on it.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

Just started. And did you see a difference?

SPEAKER_04 12:25

Um, I guess it would be hard for me to say because I didn't know you very well before that, right? Like um. I I did see a difference in because I know when you and I first met, we were doing a lot of those. Um we were like our practice coaching sessions.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Yes, we were we were we were partners, right?

SPEAKER_04 12:55

School partners. Some of the stuff that came up, you were like, I just don't have time for that. And I do think that after you started on medication, the things that you were like, I can't do that, I don't have time for that.

unknown 13:11

Right.

SPEAKER_04 13:11

Like, I no, that's just not even an option. Like, all those things just kind of like started opening up for you.

Hope And Two Truths At Once

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Right. And now it's because I work full-time, I have a business, and I have a podcast. It's like, okay, now I really don't have time for those things. But it's because there's a lot more things going on than just like, oh, I can't go out and get groceries. Or yeah, it's yeah, I definitely think it changes perspective. For sure. Um what do you think about when you think about the weight? Um, do you think about it in terms of like your kids because you have a different experience with grief and loss?

SPEAKER_04 13:55

Um, I can I don't specifically think about it in terms of the children. Um I mean the first thing that came to mind was the analogy of the backpack and the a hundred pounds of rocks that you're carrying, right? Um I can't for me, I guess it's that it's it's the same loss, right? It is still the same loss.

unknown 14:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 14:28

I am still missing my people.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 14:31

Um, and and I'm careful I want to be careful about this because I don't want it to seem hopeless, right? Because I don't want people who are in the the early days of a loss to be like, oh my god, I'm just gonna feel like garbage forever for the rest of my life. Because there is hope.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

Yeah. Um and there are more good days than bad days.

SPEAKER_04 14:57

Yes. I mean, you put in some time and the eventually, right? Um it it's just that I from the outside looking in, I think people might be like, oh well, it's been however long it's been, and she looks good. She lost weight. She heard, you know, she raised a son. Finished raising a son by herself. And you know, like, I I think people go, yeah, it's all good. Everything's good now. Right. Right? But and I'm not saying it's terrible, but it's the weight of it is still there.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Yes, and you say this to me often, and I think this is really pertinent here. Two things can be true at once.

SPEAKER_03 15:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

That is absolutely what you say to me, and it absolutely is fitting here because the weight has not changed, the loss has not changed, but yes, I can go out and smile and have fun with friends now without crying.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:10

But it doesn't mean I miss him less. It doesn't mean the hole in my heart is smaller, it just means I've learned how to carry that weight better.

SPEAKER_04 16:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 16:21

And that I think is I think you're right. I think people on the outside don't recognize that. And they think, oh, well, she must be good now.

SPEAKER_04 16:30

And and you know, people think who who don't understand or who haven't really experienced it for themselves will say, oh, time heals all wounds. Well, no, not this one.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

No.

SPEAKER_04 16:41

Um and so I think they go, Oh, well, how long has it been now? You know, I get that question a lot. Like, oh, you look so good. How long has it been now?

SPEAKER_02 16:55

One has nothing to do with the other.

SPEAKER_04 16:57

Right. No, it doesn't. And what you what you brought up is so totally true. Like, yes, um, I have lost weight. Yes, I did finish raising a son by myself. Yes, my kids are thriving. Um and I have more energy now than I did in my early days of the loss, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 17:25

But I still feel it.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Of course. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 17:30

You know, and since we started the podcast, I've been posting more in my stories, little snippets about grief, and and I think, and I get a lot of um sad faces, like tears or like sad faces, and I want to say to people, like, I it's it's not always gonna be that way.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Right.

SPEAKER_04 17:54

You know, there there are gonna be better days, and there are gonna be days where it's great, and yes, you do feel sad at the same time. Yes, because both can be true at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

Absolutely, yeah, absolutely. We're about a month out of my out from my wedding anniversary, and that's always so bittersweet. You know, just because yeah, and I go right back to those moments. Yes, and it's hard not to. That was a very special day time for us, and you know, but you're right, it's just because you're and I think the most important thing that I want people to understand, and the reason that I wanted to do this podcast so much is we don't talk about this, and it is okay for both things to be true at the same time. That I absolutely that I am thriving at work, I am surviving, and I am, you know, I'm I have a podcast, we have a podcast. I you know, I have a business on top of my day job, and you know what? I'm making it. I may be slow turtle-like on some days, but I'm doing it. Yes, and Mike would be so incredibly proud of me for that. Without question, without and um I had I had some friends, uh had some family in town, and they were um her our friend's brother was asking me questions because he's like, Well, is this your full-time job? And I'm like, no, no, no, this is my side hustle, right? And so we were talking about it, and he's like, wow, he's like, that's incredible. He's like, Well, what do you think your husband would think of this? Like, and I'm like, I think he'd be really proud of me. Like, I think he would be like, you go, and if you need to go slow, go slow. Like, right, you'll get there. But like, I'm proud of you for how far you've come, and the fact that you're trying. Yes, right, doesn't mean that I'm not exhausted sometimes. It doesn't mean that if I have days when I'm like, okay, I'm tired. I'm tired of doing it all. Can I just like hang out in my book in my bed with my book and my cats? And, you know, those kinds of things are important. And it's just important.

SPEAKER_04 20:08

Absolutely. You know, and you know, it's not just about the outside people looking in. It it's all like we are also very guilty of not showing ourselves enough grace and um recognizing our accomplishments and how it is that we're doing, right? Yes. And also when something when a feeling kind of creeps in and takes us by surprise, we're like, oh why? What's wrong with me? Like I thought, you know, like I put in the work, I put in the time, and like why do I feel this way?

SPEAKER_02 20:42

Right.

SPEAKER_04 20:43

Well, because you lost somebody very important to you. And it's never that feeling is never gonna go away. That's why you feel this, you know.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Right.

SPEAKER_04 20:53

Yeah.

Honesty With Friends Kids Boundaries

SPEAKER_02 20:54

No, I completely under, I completely agree. And I think um there was something when you were talking about that that kind of came into my mind and then it just I passed very quickly. Um it it passed very quickly. Um, but I do think that not only do we not give ourselves grace, but we also, when people are asked, well, how are you? In especially in the early days, I'm okay. Like, not wanting to tell people the truth because people don't want to feel that heaviness. They don't want, they don't want to know. Like, it's really a just you know, this is another like a weight conversation of is this somebody I feel safe enough to tell the truth? Is this somebody who can handle the truth? Is this somebody who's going to turn and run away if I tell them the truth? And I think that there's a weight to that when you're having to sort of weigh your friendships of is this person gonna be accepting of me, or is this does this person need to be like, do I need to sugarcoat it for them? And I think that that adds a whole nother level, especially in the early days. Um, because there were very there were a lot of people that I'm like, it's okay, I'm fine, I'm okay. Rather than being honest.

unknown 22:12

Right.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

Because it was easier. And sometimes you have to do that. You have to weigh those options of Yes. And then there's other people that you were completely honest with, and it's like, yeah, I sucks.

SPEAKER_04 22:26

I I tried not to I was guilty of not sharing my feelings with my kids.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 22:35

And um, you know, particularly on the harder, heavier days, right? Where I just felt like I d I don't know how I'm gonna make it through today.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

Right.

SPEAKER_04 22:47

And, you know, they're your kids, they see right through you. Right. They live with you, they know you, right? And um one time during a therapy session, my therapist said, Well, how do you how do you get your child to open up to you when you won't open up?

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Oh that's hard. Yeah, that's heavy.

SPEAKER_04 23:15

You know, and so I I really had to start being honest with how I was feeling. So if I was having a hard day, I had to say to Nathan, I'm have I'm having an Evan day, right? I'm I'm having a hard day. Um that way I was creating this space where he could come to me if he was having a bad day and just say, I I just need a beat, right? Right, and I needed to be that way with Jackson too after we lost Dennis. And I would try to lie, and Jackson would be like, Don't lie to me. Because he knew me, right? Like, I can see it's all over your face. Yeah, yes, right, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

And I I definitely think that there is, you know, the people that you're around the most. I had a hard time because the people that I was living with really wanted to, and and I this is no fault of their own. They really wanted me to be okay. They wanted me to be out and about and doing things.

SPEAKER_04 24:23

And it's uncomfortable, right? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

Yes, and like, hey, you gotta get out of bed and do all these things. It's like I'm like, fuck no, I don't. Right. I'm gonna be here, and I need to be here, and I just need to be here and cry. Like, you know, I need to do these things for me. And at least I was I I did dig my heels in when they were like, oh, let's celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas, and I'm like, uh, that shit's not happening. Um not not the first year, not and I didn't really celebrate the first few years. It just didn't feel right, and that's okay too. Absolutely, to not feel like celebrating those things like your own birthday or you know, the holidays. It's okay to not want to be joyful on those days because it's hitting you harder.

SPEAKER_04 25:13

Right.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

And I think that that's part of giving ourselves praise and also just recognizing that people who are closest to us, if they could just understand that it's not necessarily that we're trying to wallow in it, it's just sometimes it's really hard and you have to rest. You have to step back.

SPEAKER_04 25:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

Because if you don't step back, it's kind of like the airplane thing before you put the air mask, the oxygen mask on a child. Like you have to put that on yourself before you can do anything else. Exactly. Even though I only had cats, I still had to do that for myself to make sure I was okay. Because otherwise I wasn't gonna get up and feed the cats. It was like they've got crunchies, it'll be fine. Like they don't they don't need wet food, it's fine.

SPEAKER_04 25:58

They can drink out of the toilet.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

They can drink out of the toilet, right? They got water. Something. But it's true, it's you know, one of those things where it's you have to take care, you have to allow yourself to take care of yourself, and sometimes it looks different than other people may want it to look or think that it should look. And I think that that's again, two things can be true at once. I can want to stay in bed and not get out of bed all day in early grief and still be working through it. Yes, I'm not stuck. I'm working through it, and I think that that's I think that's hard for people to recognize sometimes on the outside.

SPEAKER_01 26:48

Yes.

What Real Support Can Sound Like

SPEAKER_02 26:48

Because they just want us to be okay and they love us and they want us, they want the best for us, but it's I I had a friend, I have a friend who always would she would never ask me how I was because she's like, I know how you are. But she would say, checking on you. And so even to this day, we send each other texts when we haven't talked for very maybe it's been a few days or a week or two. It'll just be, hey, checking on you. And it and I appreciated that so much because it wasn't like, hey, how you doing today? How's life? Like, woo, it's Tuesday. Like, it was just uh checking on you, just test what's the temperature, how's how's it going? And and I could be honest with her and say, it's a tough day. Or I'm okay, you know, and those things are incredibly appreciated.

SPEAKER_03 27:38

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

And I think that that's um for those people who are friends and loved ones of someone who's grieving, I think those are important things to to know and understand that it is absolutely okay for the griever, you know, to have those feelings. And two things can be true at once. Six years in, I'm almost six years in, and am I gonna have sad days? Yes. Do I miss him every day? Yes. All the time.

SPEAKER_04 28:06

All the time. Five years in. April 1st is five years. July 6th, six years.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

And his birthday. Oh, Mike's birthday's in November, so yours are closer together. I I get hit every six months. Hey, we get through we get through the death day, and whoa, hey, it's the holidays and his birthday. Great.

SPEAKER_04 28:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 28:31

That's the same thing for us with Evan.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and it's you know, I I absolutely miss him every day, and I do think he'd be proud of me. Um, but it doesn't change how much I miss him. It doesn't change it. I mean, let's be candid. You've you've met my cats, you know Toby, who knew Mike, and you've seen the sadness in Toby, even after this long, even though he has mom, he has siblings he's not really crazy about, but he he still grieves, right? And I think it's just okay to understand that. And it's okay, and it won't always feel as heavy as the first day, but it doesn't mean that you're gonna wake up one morning and it's completely gone. You live with it forever and you carry it forever.

SPEAKER_04 29:23

And that's okay too.

SPEAKER_02 29:24

And that's okay too, because I don't ever want to forget Mike or leave him behind. I will never leave him behind. He will always move forward with me. Always. He will always be a part of my life. I didn't divorce him. I that was that was not the situation. I was married to him, and that and he was he's my husband, and I love him, and he died. So he's a part of me and always will be. So I think that's also okay for people to understand as well.

SPEAKER_04 29:57

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

What kind of parting words do you want to give to our audience about how to navigate through some of these things, aside from giving themselves grace and understanding that two things can be true at once?

SPEAKER_04 30:13

Well, I think that's a big thing is showing yourself grace. Um just using a kinder voice when you speak to yourself. Um understand that the weight of it is not always going to be heavy. And sometimes it waxes and wanes, you know. Um also it's like, you know, when we talk about the daily, the day-to-day stuff, we used to share our re our daily responsibilities with our partner. And now we carry the load of doing all that stuff on our own, right?

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:58

I am especially feeling a lot of that right now because Jackson was, I told you, he felt very seriously about being the man of the house. And um, since he's been gone, there's a lot of things that I've had to take over doing, right? Um, so yeah. Just know that the weight that you feel from having to do all of your day-to-day stuff, it's and if you get overwhelmed or you feel like, oh my gosh, it's too much, or resentful that you're the only person doing it, like all that's normal too.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

Absolutely, yeah. Yep, it is, it absolutely is, and yeah, and I think that that's a a great point that it's okay to be mad that you're having to do all this on your own. It's okay, not much you can do about it, but but you you have every right to be a little angry about it. Not you know, it's just is what it is, but and I think those are are really important points. Oh, I think this is a great place to stop.

SPEAKER_04 32:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:06

All right.

SPEAKER_04 32:08

If anything has stirred or settled within you during this episode, please know that you don't have to carry it all with you. Take what feels supportive and leave what feels heavy. Thank you for listening and for being here with us. For showing up in your own way. We'll meet again soon, and in the meantime, be good to yourselves.

SPEAKER_02 32:28

Awesome. Thanks, friend. Bye.