Streetlight Angels Podcast
Creating safety awareness and mindfulness to the nation to help our children take back the ability to play outside "until the street lights come on".
Streetlight Angels Podcast
Navigating Parenthood: Embracing Accountability and Responsibility in a Tech-Driven Era!
Have you ever wondered how the crucial lessons of accountability and responsibility shape not just our own lives, but the lives of our children? Our latest episode uncovers the profound impact these principles have, from personal growth to the art of parenting. Through heartfelt anecdotes and thoughtful reflections, we tackle the challenging yet rewarding task of holding ourselves accountable. As we navigate personal failures and the courage to improve, we also emphasize the positive power of accountability in keeping us aligned with our deepest goals and values. We then shift gears to explore the essential role of teaching children these timeless virtues, highlighting how responsibilities and consequences prepare them for the future.
Parenting in today's fast-paced, tech-driven world demands a delicate balance of firmness and understanding. Join us as we candidly discuss the trials of maintaining consistent boundaries amidst generational shifts in parenting styles. Through personal stories, we illustrate the struggle and necessity of setting clear guidelines, even when it means not being the most popular parent. Our conversation also touches on the impact of technology on discipline and the importance of learning from past experiences to guide our parenting journey. Don't miss our weekly Wine Up Wednesday announcement as we express gratitude for your support and invite you to connect with us in creating a community where accountability and responsibility thrive.
All right, welcome back to Streetlight Angels podcast. That's SAP. All right, josh here with you and Casey we got Casey here.
Speaker 2:Hello everybody.
Speaker 1:We're on episode three. I'm glad you've made it this far, with us Going to be a good one this time. Make sure you're strapped in and ready for this amazing ride. We're going to be getting us back to talking about how we can definitely get our children back on the streets until the streetlights come on. The last episode we talked about money and class for a very short period of time, and what else was it? Disabilities, disabilities. Yeah, that's right, we talked about disabilities as well, and some of you listeners asked me like those are pretty big topics to crunch down to 15 minutes. And you're absolutely right. We are literally just scratching the surface of these topics and you know, we just Googled. What are some sensitive topics for us to talk about and, casey, what were the rest of them?
Speaker 2:So we have a list of gender and sexuality intimate, partner abuse, mental health relationships and conflict, sexual assault and harassment, and substance use.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so those are topics that are a handful of many that we're going to be talking about, and that's kind of what we need everybody to understand that every single one of these topics are going to have their own episode, if not more. They may continue into the next week, and the next week we may do a couple of extra episodes. Just keep in mind that we're not trying to, you know, fly through any of these sensitive topics. We are absolutely going to talk about these, especially if they create havoc internally within, you know, people's homes, or even externally, within the community and the neighborhood because ultimately it's going to be affecting our children, right?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and how we are interacting, how we're interfacing with society, trickles down to these kids and it really plays a crucial role in their life, whether we know it or not, and they are internalizing those things and trying to make sense to go forward in their day. How they make decisions, how they make one choice from one thing to the next, and then, obviously, understanding the difference between a consequence and being rewarded for those choices.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and just so everyone knows, everything that we talk about right now is unscripted literally right off the top of our dome. We may have some topics that we jot down on a piece of paper five minutes before we get up on here, but we are talking to each other and you all, from the dome piece right out of there, just know that we're literally sitting in the car next to you or in the chair next to you, or standing next to you or on your jog while you're listening to this podcast. We're literally doing this with you. Other than being live itself, we're pretty much being this live. So there is one topic that we're going to be talking about today.
Speaker 1:Briefly, it's definitely one that wasn't on the original list that we talked about. We actually were talking about it prior to us even recording, and we're like, yep, you know, let's just record it, let's just talk about it on the podcast, because this stuff we were talking about is the exact same stuff that everybody needs to be talking about. But the main one that we're going to talk about today is accountability. Accountability y'all Such a big word. I don't think anybody's really holding themselves accountable these days. Very much, right.
Speaker 2:I mean, that is a bold word. That's also a very bold statement. Accountability is something that even as adults, we struggle with. That I mean, come on, even in our workout classes we try to have accountability right. Having partners, having somebody to help keep us on track with life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right. Holding ourselves accountable, you're literally telling yourself that you have failed and you need to do better, or you are literally telling yourselves that you're wrong or you need to do better, period. That's difficult for a lot of people to do. I know it's very hard for me and it has been for years for me to hold myself accountable for bad things, but you can hold yourself accountable for good things as well.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yeah right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. Accountable for good things as well. Absolutely, yeah, right, yeah, absolutely. Accountability can be a positive word or a positive phrase that you can hold in your household. Accountability is keeping you on the track to whatever goal you have set in your mind.
Speaker 1:Right, kind of like a accountability would be a good goal or a good moral value. Hold that to a standard, utilizing your own accountability. So what we're really trying to go to is the accountability of our children. Right, so you got to hold them accountable, because if we don't look, what's happening now?
Speaker 2:But what are we holding them accountable for?
Speaker 1:Responsibilities you know what I mean. Or if they do something wrong, you've got to hold them accountable for that. You can't just let it slide constantly. We do it laid out. This is how we should do.
Speaker 2:This is what we should do for them and this is how they're going to behave. This isn't robotical. It comes in ebbs and flows where, okay, we try this, it doesn't work, we try something different, it works great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, and there are so many examples that we could use, and you're using one right now. I mean, you've got the girls on lock right now. Oh man, you're like a slave driver right now when it comes to cleaning the house, but you're holding them accountable because what right? What are they doing? What's going on?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess I'm walking in mom's footsteps. My mother's name when I was growing up was, I'm pretty sure she was called the warden. So yeah, I'm following in those footsteps right now. My kids. I've not held them accountable for quite some time. I had an injury back in June, had surgery in July to repair that injury and have since had a difficult time with just being up and going. So we've had to let some things slide in the household and now they are learning accountability for their actions, for dirty rooms, for things that they've not taken care of. That they said they did and just said that to appease me in the moment. So now that I'm up and mobile, everybody's scared, nobody's scared.
Speaker 2:But accountability is absolutely happening in the household. Where say your truth, speak your truth. If you haven't done something, say it. But also when you're given a timeline or a deadline that needs to be completed, I'm big on that in my household because I have since realized that raising teenagers is not for the weak. I will absolutely give cheers to any parent going through that, especially a single parent going through that. But something that's hit me lately that I've never really given a whole lot of thought to is I'm raising these girls to be not just in our household, to be good human beings or be decent human beings and raise them with morals and values, but I'm raising them for the world.
Speaker 1:So yeah, you're giving them that, that moral compass that they can follow.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. When they go to school, they have accountability. When they go out into society, they have laws, they have rules, they have their regulations in everyday society that we have to follow. So they have to know that there are consequences, negative or positive, to any action that that's ever performed. So teaching them accountability is very important.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. With accountability comes appreciation.
Speaker 2:Yes, in time.
Speaker 1:In time In time. Exactly In time.
Speaker 2:They're learning that and I think that it's not only teaching our children to have accountability but, like we had said previously, teaching ourselves to have that accountability but, like we had said previously, teaching ourselves to have that accountability. So I had also learned a valuable lesson over the last two years that holding my kids to these standards also means that I'm backing the other people in their life, For instance, teachers. I know that's such a sore subject right now that you know when our children go to school, these teachers are also trying to hold our kids accountable for their homework, for their behavior.
Speaker 1:It's got to suck for them. It's got to suck because they're probably doing it, because there's parents out there that are not doing it Absolutely and now the teacher has to do it, and then the parent gets upset because the teacher's trying to show them what accountability Absolutely Like. Come on, you know what I mean. That's ridiculous. You shouldn't have to worry about that. And the bat I think one of the worst thing about it all is it trickles all the way up to the tippy top.
Speaker 1:You're talking about the heads of the United States that are not being held accountable for this stuff. You know, I know for a fact that me, as a service member, if I had done some of the stuff that some of these people up in the tippy top have done, I would be sitting in prison, rotten, rotten right now, without my family, without my kids, without anything. You know what I mean, because I know for a fact I'd probably be held accountable at my level. You know what I mean Because I know for a fact I'd probably be held accountable at my level. You know what I mean and now I want to instill that on my kids.
Speaker 2:But how do we do that if we have a society where, where you are in society, you know people have asked the question what does that have to do with our kids and what you guys were talking about? What does that have to do with anything with the kids and safety and sure, and these things have everything to do with that.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:It all comes into play where we can engulf all of this and say, okay, at my level, where I'm at in society, I would be held accountable.
Speaker 1:And everybody wants that change. Everybody wants that change. They all want something to change what is happening, what's happening with the nation right now, but nobody's doing anything. Here's the problem. I think here's one of the major problems is the fact that we're not going to see an overnight result. Everybody wants that overnight quick release. It's not going to happen. And I tell people all this time with my organizations you know, angel Force Foundation and Angel Force Protection is. You know, we're going to come in there and we're going to build continuity and relationships with these children so that it will show a difference in a decade from now. We're not going to see results right away. It'll be a decade from now and then they can look back. You know why. You know how we're going to start that we're going to be holding them accountable now and maintain that to the rest.
Speaker 2:Well, and I was going to say that I have an important question for you then. So you said that higher ups are not held to essentially the same accountability as everyone else. Maybe it's not that people want change now? Do you think that people are afraid to speak out because there is not true accountability for certain tiers of class or certain tiers of people?
Speaker 1:Absolutely. They're scared because they may lose their job. So welcome to set, you know, streetlight angel pocket. That's what we're about. We're about allowing them the platform to be able to speak their mind, even if it's indirectly, anonymously, that's right. But we're going to, we're definitely going to hold these people accountable too, because I'm pretty sure there's going to be some listeners that hit us up with some pretty goofy stuff. But either way, look at the ultimate goal. That's what SAP's about, that's what's bringing us here. We're allowing the people that don't have that voice to come to us and get their voice out there somehow or another, utilizing, you know case and I, you know, to help with it, with this stuff.
Speaker 1:And you know we decided accountability ourselves based on the fact that you know we've already had a lot of people recommend a whole bunch of stuff, wonderful stuff. But you know we want to really hit the roots of things first, and I think you know we may not have needed to start at money and class and disabilities at the beginning. Uh, it was just to to show you guys that. You know we will talk about any and everything, but the, you know, the, the goal is, is always the same at the end Um, and that's why we chose accountability, because we're in the middle of it right now, both of us she's, you know, being a warden to her daughters and I'm, I'm reversed, see.
Speaker 1:I I'm not showing accountability right now or providing that. Um, I kind of messed up big time. You know, my son, he wanted a video game and he'd ask for it and ask for it, and ask for it, and I said no, no, no. And then me and his mom, we joined forces together and we said no, no, no, no. And then he smiled at me and I gave him like those little eyelashes.
Speaker 1:That's right, man. He actually pulled in my heartstrings and he finally, I say, you know what? Just go get your game. You know, and, uh, you know the joy in his face was amazing. But then I almost immediately regretted it, not only because, you know, my wife destroyed me after that because I broke down, which usually she's the one who does it but not only did make some good points, she did, she did. And I mean I had a short sense of joy when I said, ok, go get your game. But then immediately I was like, oh my gosh, man like the dude's making a couple of bees, like we're supposed to be, you know a single unit here and we all know he can get those up and the video games are definitely taking a toll on that. And just like your daughters, you know the, you took the phones away as an ultimatum and I take the games away as an ultimatum. But in the same token it's like I couldn't do it. I had to just give it back, you know.
Speaker 2:Well, and with that, though, my kids are also older than yours, so I've had to go and learn what worked for my family and what didn't work for my family, and taking a phone away was showing them, because they did not want to have accountability with their chores, they didn't want to be responsible. They didn't want to do the things that they've been asked to do. I am held accountable as a parent to teach them. It is my job as their mother. Whether you want to look at that from a religious standpoint or even a secular standpoint, I am still held accountable to raise my kids and teach them the right way. So the phone is not a necessity of life. The phone is not going to make or break them Now in their little world. Yes, I just broke it. I just broke their Snapchat streak. I just broke all these things that they do with their friends.
Speaker 1:But they're just some consequence. That's right. Their butts ain't going to get them until they clean their room.
Speaker 2:As they still might, not, even when the rooms get cleaned right away. There's not instant gratification, you're right. There's not instant gratification, you're right, it is. You have to show it's like the carrot, yeah, declining the carrot.
Speaker 2:But you have to show that this behavior has changed. You can't just instantly there's no instant gratification. You work for it. Show that the behavior has changed. Show me over the next few days that you're going to clean your room. I'm holding you accountable for that. Check your chore chart, make sure that you're doing what you need to and also, with me, making sure that I'm showing them clear-cut guidelines with what I'm holding them accountable for. And you can earn that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:With that said, I'm not the most popular person right now.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, I'd be pretty upset if my mommy took my phone away from me too.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty sure you didn't have phones back in your day. But okay, Age no.
Speaker 1:Look, I was in high school when the first cell phone came out. I was so jelly because there were some kids that had them and I didn't. The bricks, oh my gosh, little Nokia.
Speaker 2:My dad had one no-transcript that it is unreal. So I do hold a different view on that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I mean, I agree. I agree, we do. We're a lazy bunch of turds these days because we have just everything at our fingertips. It's crazy because I know for a fact I don't hold my boys accountable at our fingertips. It's crazy because I know for a fact I don't hold my boys accountable like I should. It's certainly not like how it was when I was a kid, but you know, I do the best I can, based on the severity of what I need to hold.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Right. So you know, a long time ago when I was a kid, there was things that you know people stressed about constantly that probably didn't need to be, you know what I mean. And so we've kind of laxed a little bit and opened the ability to allow them to maintain a little bit more responsibilities. But in the same token, like I don't know man, I really need to get my boys on a track of responsibility so that I can hold them accountable for some of that stuff. And that's my biggest flaws.
Speaker 2:I can't give them that if they don't even have responsibilities you know what I mean have to be disciplined to teach these things right. So, even for myself, I have to ask myself am I leading by example? Am I teaching them, showing them how to be accountable because I'm leading by example? Am I doing that in my own life? I've always strived to be the do as I do, let me show you, let me lead you, not the do as I say, not as I do parent. That's that's been very important to me, and we just had a recent conversation about that.
Speaker 2:Hey, I'm doing this with my life so that I can get to this spot in my life to show more discipline and reach goals, and the reason I started doing that again is because I saw where I've been so relaxed in my own goals and my own ambitions that I've lacked teaching my kids that yeah, no, I can see that One of the main reasons I'm continuing college classes right now is so that I can.
Speaker 1:I'm essentially holding myself accountable, so then I can also teach my children that you know their mom has a degree. Why doesn't dad? You know what I mean Like why doesn't papa? I don't have one, because I could come up with all kinds of excuses. You know what I mean. But I'm still getting one, and I can not only hold myself accountable, but when the boys don't do the homework or when they don't do what they're supposed to do when it comes to their education, again it's a disciplinary subject to where I can hold them accountable. Yes, that's the thing.
Speaker 2:And you can also relate to them. Now you're able to relate to them on a whole different platform. I mean, it was so different when we went to school. Things are harder for them. I feel that things are much harder for them in school today. They're learning more, it's at a faster pace, testing is harder. I feel that everything is a lot harder. I can't even help my kids with math sometimes because I have no idea. I can do algebra all day long. I can show the work. I can show them how to do whatever is needed, and I think the new math was called Common Core Math. There's no way I know how to do that. I've had to pull up YouTube videos on how to help them with their homework. So they do have a lot more on them today, I feel, than we did as kids with our work.
Speaker 1:Thank God, we have our phones too.
Speaker 2:Oh my God. Yes, I couldn't imagine doing it without it.
Speaker 1:A couple of homework assignments that you know my boys would have my gosh it's so bad to do this, but I can't be the only one. But, like, I will take a picture of their homework assignment, put that in the chat, gtp, and make sure that I am right when I give them the answer back. You know, because when I was a kid my parents would be like go to the encyclopedia.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or the thesaurus or dictionary, we had it. I mean yeah.
Speaker 1:We had encyclopedia. I did all my projects on paper encyclopedias.
Speaker 2:Go to the library.
Speaker 1:That's right. Go to the library.
Speaker 2:We don't even have to do that now.
Speaker 1:That's right, but it was crazy because I almost felt guilty that I knew, maybe knew the answer, but I wanted to make sure I was right and look how I was looking it up. It wasn't instilled in me that answer. You know, obviously we can't maintain that, all of that stuff, but I should hold myself accountable to my lack of education when it comes even at a, you know, fourth, second to fourth grade level, where my boys are at right now, and it's like I literally had to ask my phone to make sure that I'm giving them the right answer, and that is.
Speaker 1:Ah, that's just being a good parent, yeah, but it's, it was. It still hurts, though, Cause I don't want them to see it. You know what I mean. I want them to think that you know dad's always, you know he knows everything, type, but we can talk about tech. You know, the next time that's going to be a good long, probably a month long episode. Oh my gosh Of tech. There's lots of stuff on the technology, but utilizing technology honestly, it could really help us achieve more accountability too.
Speaker 2:Let me ask you this then so with us talking about accountability today, what does that have to do with keeping our children safe?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So the way I look at it is is this if they're outside and they're playing, you know, with all the other kids and you got kids doing dumb crap, you got like I did. You know, you got kids acting silly and being, you know, being silly. If we're holding them accountable at home, they're going to hold themselves accountable and they're going to hold other kids accountable. I like that. It's not bullying, that's just keeping everybody real. That's right it is. It is checking everybody. Yeah, themselves To keep us on.
Speaker 2:A good checks and balances.
Speaker 1:That's right, and so I think that if we're not educating or we're not suing some sort of ability to keep our kids accountable, then they're not going to be doing that themselves. Yeah, they're not going to do that when they're outside playing.
Speaker 2:I agree with that.
Speaker 1:Because I know there's times where I was probably up too high in that tree. You know what I mean and my friend was like dude, you should probably come down. Yeah, I mean, and hey, let dude you should probably come down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, and hey, let's not be a daredevil today and break both legs that's right exactly.
Speaker 1:Or, you know, maybe there was times when I was a kid where I, you know, was feeling feisty and and got argumentated with somebody and, right, fight somebody you know what I mean or yeah, or somebody upset me or call me the wrong name, and and then I had another friend that would come in and, you know, be the angel on the shoulder and just say, hey, chill out, dude, like like there's no reason to be, you know that way to a, to a friend. So I think that, um, that's definitely one of those things that we can do better as a, as a society. We could do better as a, as a neighborhood, as a culture, as a nation, and hold ourselves and teach our children accountability.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And before we end today's episode, I do want to give a shout out to all the good teachers, the good bus drivers, all the people that are in our children's lives. When we are not there, when we're at work, our kids are at school, whether it be public or private, they're riding the buses. We've got other friends, family, you know. They say it takes a village to raise these kids Neighbors yeah, absolutely. Shout out to all these good people in the world that are helping to teach these kids to teach our kids to teach accountability and hold them accountable too. Kids to teach our kids to teach accountability and hold them accountable too. I know that it's not easy, but I see you and I personally want to thank you for everything that you do to pour the goodness back into the children.
Speaker 1:That's right. It's a blessing to know that we're not alone on this. But in the same token, if you're not holding yourself or your children accountable for their actions, there's going to be more problems in the future. So you should do some self-reflection. If you're all not doing that stuff and if you're listening and you're one of those, that's not the end. You know. The kids are still young, so make sure that you're doing that. But, like Kay said, thank you to all the ones that are doing the right thing and holding themselves and their babies accountable for their actions. It certainly makes life a lot easier for us. So I think that's it for us for today. This episode we're going to go with the four W's. We're here weekly Wednesday during Wine Up, wine Glass Up and Wine Down Time Every week on Wednesday. You guys can come on here during that time and listen to us run our mouths about stuff that people just don't want to talk about.
Speaker 2:Thanks to everybody for being a part of this. Thank you for all the love and support. Thank you for all the feedback that you guys have given to us. We appreciate you all for being here.
Speaker 1:If you want to hit us up, we're at streetlightangelspodcasts at gmailcom. Check us out on Facebook. As always, we want you all to have a safe and lovely day and make sure we get to that point where we can have the kids go outside until the streetlights come on.
Speaker 2:Everybody have a great evening.