Streetlight Angels Podcast

Finding Balance: Pursuing a Stress-Free Life Amidst Entrepreneurship and Parenthood!

• Streetlight Angels • Season 1 • Episode 4

Share episode

Josh found solace and clarity on a hunting trip in Arkansas, stepping away from the chaos to reconnect with himself and his family. Meanwhile, Kasey took a courageous leap by leaving a high-powered corporate role to better balance single parenthood and self-care. Listen as we share personal journeys that highlight the importance of prioritizing mental health and family, even when societal norms and economic pressures push us in the opposite direction. Through honest conversations, we confront the challenges and sheer necessity of making choices that align with a more fulfilling, family-centered life.

Entrepreneurship might seem glamorous, but it’s no small feat to juggle personal dreams and family responsibilities. We unpack the unique mindset needed for entrepreneurial success, delving into the stress and instability that often accompany this path. Mothers, in particular, may relate to the imposter syndrome that comes with striving for both career and parenting excellence. We also tackle the invaluable, yet often overlooked, non-financial contributions of parenting, and stress the critical need to support children's mental health. Join us in fostering a community where these essential discussions can flourish and inspire positive change.

Josh:

Welcome back to the Streetlight Angels podcast. This is Josh and Kasey. We're back with you finally, asey, where we been.

Kasey:

Oh my gosh mental health break.

Josh:

Mental health break. That's right. I definitely was on a nice little vacay in Arkansas on some land with my uncle doing some things to try to fill up a freezer. I was up there hunting with some family and definitely some solitude that was needed and it's probably going to be, you know, main topic of our conversation today, right? A little bit of family recalibration, a little bit of discussion on necessities. You know, taking care of yourself before you can take care of others, right?

Kasey:

Absolutely being able to take care of yourself and take that break, that much needed break.

Josh:

What'd you do this last couple of weeks? We haven't really talked. What have you been doing? What was going on?

Kasey:

Well, I walked away from my job Not really sure what I was thinking, but I took a break from corporate life, if you even can say that I am working deeply on starting my own business. Now I had realized a lot that my kids needed me more and I was gone more and more away from home nights, weekends and I wasn't there for them. I wasn't there when they needed mom to talk to them about their day, how school went, how sports are going missing, ball games like crazy, and that takes a toll on a child, especially teenagers, but they need that support from parents that were there and were present. So I walked away from a job and have started kind of the beginning stages and taking care of the kids, focusing on the kids and getting back to being more present. We definitely needed that mental health and that reconnection.

Josh:

So those are huge steps, like you literally took. You said you said it all nonchalantly like, oh, I just stepped away from the dog or from the job. The dog just went out and did its own thing and then came back. No, no, no. You literally bounced out from your job Like your sole income.

Kasey:

I did.

Josh:

For what? To again recalibrate, reprioritize your life essentially. Yeah, you said I don't need this because what it's doing is consuming too much of your time with your family and everything Right.

Kasey:

Yeah, I was eating that alive. There was no time. There was no time left. I woke up. I maybe saw them for a few minutes I mean, they're there at school most of the day and then I wasn't even present when I was home. I recall emails, even half the time with us trying to do the podcast. Sure yeah, I just wasn't able to be present with life.

Josh:

Sure, yeah, Delayed, delayed, delayed. Now you know, is the juice worth the squeeze when we're talking about this kind of stuff? And I think that your juice was not worth the squeeze. You were providing not even close at that time.

Kasey:

No.

Josh:

And we had talked about it before. You know off the record, and the job that you were doing and maintaining was very aggressive on your timeline and your life and it was and it was actually. I remember there was a time where I was personally getting irritated with you because of the podcast and you know all this stuff and yet you were devoting and committing yourself to something that wasn't reciprocating that back to you properly.

Josh:

To something that wasn't reciprocating that back to you properly. And so, as a listener, if you're kind of wondering or you're teetering on that idea, like every story is different, you know what I mean. Every person has their own thing going on, so I don't want the listeners to be like I'm going to quit my job In case you did it. You know what I mean. Don't do that.

Kasey:

Yeah, don't quit your job, don't just do it like I did.

Kasey:

It was mentally. I was at a breaking point and I had just recently posted on social media how moms wear so many different hats and how we're supposed to. How are we supposed to have these careers and cook and grocery shop and take care of the kids? And being a single parent and having my kids the majority of the time? It is a lot. However, I've really changed my mindset with that recently. Man, we had a wake up call. I've had a wake up call with my health. We've had a wake up call with one of my children struggling with mental health and I realized that we have one life to live.

Kasey:

That's right and I think that we have those wake up calls often in life, but when something drastic happens we don't get a redo. You know, we can't take that time back and I can't take the moments back that I miss with them. I can't take that rushed time back where I was rushing in and out or I had to prioritize a client over my kids.

Josh:

Right. And so it you know it's really hard, the world that we live in right now, the economy and the culture and the community. It's difficult for us these days because it used to be when I was growing up and when you were, you know we were outside playing, our families could live off of a single income home.

Kasey:

Absolutely.

Josh:

And the fact that you were the sole breadmaker, single income home, and you know we've said this on the past and you just said it now that you're a single parent with the three children and all the stuff going on it. You almost were trapped, you know, at that time, and maybe so dedicated to that thing because you really didn't have another option.

Josh:

No I didn't, you didn't. I think that you go to a place in your mind and you, like I said, recalibrate to the point really do some soul searching and say, okay, let me go to that next step, let me figure out the solution to get to that next step. So, even though, like you were doing, you were busting your butt off doing what you were doing, but in the back of your mind you were already looking at solutions and new pathways to allow you to get to where you ultimately wanted to be, and that's with your children. Again, you know what I mean Priority wise, your children. And then you know, figure out a way to mitigate the issues to where you could still make that money to support them but also be with them at the same time. So I think you're hunting, still, right.

Kasey:

Yeah.

Josh:

For a job-ish.

Kasey:

Something that I can do, maybe, and work from home, but not where it's going to consume my life, not where I can't put boundaries. And a lot of that has to deal with my personality too, because I can be somewhat of a perfectionist with feeling like I need to do or I have to do just so I can keep up performance wise. But the more and more that I've actually thought about it, I've really about 90% certain that I just want to go ahead and start my business. That I've taken into consideration for quite some time. I'll go back to subbing. Subbing gives me freedom where I'm still with the kids, but as far as a nine to five, eight to five, no.

Josh:

I won't do it, sure, yeah, and it sucks because most of the time people have to, they don't have a choice. Yes, and sometimes people enjoy that. They actually prefer that. That's why we're telling our peeps here that are listening, don't.

Kasey:

No, don't do that.

Kasey:

Yeah, don't get a wild hair and just base your decisions off of other people's. And this was well. This was calculated like this was. This was something that I had considered and it was a thought through process, and one of the things that I've always had a hard time with is, once you're an entrepreneur because I still own my company in Tennessee it needs work. Because I still own my company in Tennessee, it needs work. It needs to be rebuilt.

Kasey:

I'm closer to year 10 than not, which I learned in the business class is pretty fantastic, because a lot of businesses do not make it that far at all. So once I got a taste of being an entrepreneur and being able to work for myself I'm not saying it's easy, because it's definitely not it takes a lot of grit, it takes a lot of resilience. It takes a lot of resilience, it takes a lot of sacrifice and strength. But once I got a taste of that and succeeded with it, it's hard for me to go back into the workforce and work for someone else because I know that I am disciplined enough to make my own money.

Kasey:

So, with that, definitely don't walk out on your job. Think through things. Your mental health is important. You do only have one life to live, though, and if you are waking up every day miserable and unhappy, ask yourself what changes you can make. Yeah definitely made some changes over the last month and I feel that I can breathe again, like I'm happy again. Sure, but you have to think through and plan things so that you are okay and you don't drop the ball, drop, drop a bomb, yeah.

Josh:

The stuff isn't just going to come to you either.

Josh:

Yeah, there was a period of time when I went into this crisis, knowing that I'm going to be retiring soon from the military, right? So I said, okay, look, I'm going to need to do something. I will still get a pension with the retirement, I'll still get some of my disabilities or whatever the case may be, but it's just not going to be enough, right? So I thought what am I going to do? I actually got a job with Lowe's and Walmart for a short period of time at the same time, just to see what it was like to go back into that workforce, into that tight collar that's smart Living style just to feel it, understand it and see what I was about to get myself back into. And there's no way I could do it. There's no way I could do it. I did it for like a month and some change and I there was, nope, not even a little bit. I cannot. So then it was all right. Well then, that leaves me three choices. I cannot, so then it was all right.

Josh:

Well then, that leaves me three choices. One have my wife make a bunch more money and be my sugar mama, which I don't think that's going to happen, just because I mean that's not fair. You know, we're more of a type of field I've been in in the military and me personally, the diversity that I've had in the military, where, beginning I was in a war zone in Afghanistan and at the end, I'm instructing and teaching. I could do the latter if it wasn't so regulated by the policies and being the same as I was with a beard and I just I don't see myself doing that because, like you said, you got the one life right, yeah, so I want to allow myself to spread my wings and do what I needed to do. So that came to my final conclusion, which was entrepreneurship and trying to do something of my own.

Kasey:

Yeah.

Josh:

And be my own boss, essentially with the support of family and friends and everything like that, just like you. So yeah, the entrepreneurship is definitely one of those things that I brought back and put it at my number one option, the others being those fallbacks.

Kasey:

What was your ultimate reason to go that route?

Josh:

Because I wanted my own freedom, I wanted my own ability to control my own hours and if, let's say, I have to miss an important anniversary any longer.

Kasey:

You don't have to work on someone's birthday. Any longer, you can take your family with you.

Josh:

That's right.

Kasey:

You're not limited to guidelines from someone else.

Josh:

Sure, yeah, exactly Exactly, and that's the biggest thing for me. But some people are comfortable with that. I know there's people that I work with in the military. Currently. There's people that I worked with at Walmart and Lowe's when I was there for a short period and they are 100% content with allowing their schedule to be dictated by the company that they work for, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just I've done that grind to the point where now I realize that I don't want to do that grind.

Kasey:

Sometimes that stability knowing hey, I'm getting $1,200 every week for the next year Having that stability allows people to plan and to be able to breathe. I think that entrepreneurship takes a special type of personality and a special kind of person. I think anyone could really put their mind to it and do it, but I do feel that it takes that special kind of personality and drive and sometimes it's a risk. I mean, you take a risk, yeah, so you know, not having that stability can be really it can cause a lot of anxiety for some people.

Josh:

Oh, yeah, most definitely, and, again, it's not for everybody. It's one of those things that I think that you know, you and I, as we sit here, we have that same basis mentality. Thus the podcast team and the fact that you're on Angel Force and all that stuff. It's very comparable for us, but not for everybody. And so I guess, ultimately, you know, when you really look and boil it down to the bare bones of everything is, regardless of whether you are in a nine to five job, regardless whether you're blue collar, white collar or in the military or you're an entrepreneur, at the end of the day, you got to give time for yourself and you got to give time for your family.

Josh:

Yes, because if you don't have the support from your own being, you're not going to, honestly, you're just not going to live properly and with that one life lived. Some people may believe in reincarnation, some people may believe in a life after death. You know fine, so be it. But the life that you have currently you need to live, that you know the best that you can, and if you're not supporting yourself and you don't have a proper relationship with your family, then they're not going to support you. You're not going to be able to do what you need to do without that as well, and so I believe that recalibration every once a quarter maybe would be ideal, just to get yourself back into the reality that you need yourself and you need your family more than you need anything else.

Kasey:

Oh my gosh absolutely.

Josh:

Yeah.

Kasey:

Yeah, and something too, when you're struggling or you're unhappy and you've got unnecessary stress. To a certain extent we all have stresses in our life, but when you have an exuberant amount of stress on you and you're constantly unhappy, I was telling happy person, very happy-go-lucky, I can be high strung with certain things, but I'd gotten away from that and my health suffered tremendously. I've never been so sick and never had so much hit health-wise. And when we're in that constant state of stress and that constant just downward slope, it takes a toll on your body and you might not be able to see the effects of it immediately, but it can absolutely create a lot of issues internally and it definitely did for me. And so, like I said there, there've been so many wake up calls over the. Just for a second and try to understand if you're in that, what are you doing right?

Josh:

now to allow you to take a step forward into a better, more fulfilling personal life. What are you doing right now to allow yourself to take a step forward, to build your relationship more with your family and yourself?

Kasey:

Yeah, what are some dreams that you have for yourself? I mean, we're not dead.

Josh:

Right.

Kasey:

We might be old. And I laughed and joked with a lady yesterday a really sweet lady at the chamber and said I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.

Josh:

Sure, yeah, that's a big.

Kasey:

Like we are still allowed to have dreams and goals for ourselves, are still allowed to have dreams and goals for ourselves, and oftentimes I think is I can't speak for men, but I know it, I can speak for myself as a mother. I felt that I couldn't have both and I hate that. I hated that feeling, but it's almost like imposter syndrome, that we don't think that we can succeed or be a successful businesswoman or have a successful career and be a successful mother.

Josh:

Well, when you're doing it by yourself, holy cow. That's got to be difficult as heck, I don't know, but it's not impossible.

Kasey:

It's not impossible as heck I don't know, but it's not impossible. It's not impossible. And honestly, with in, my sister laughs and tells me all the time I never want to tread on anyone's beliefs, just just putting that out there. But she says that God will bring you who you're supposed to have or you know, someone will come along and I'm like I don't, I don't know that I would even know how to do with a husband, like I don't know. I'm so used to having our schedule and what we do in our every day. I'm sure maybe it would be a blessing, but we are so comfortable, it is our comfort zone and we rock and roll the best that we can, and we are definitely an all-female house, so the estrogen is flying in every corner no thanks it's, but we, we make it work and I don't know that I could ever, I don't know that I could change that.

Kasey:

It would take like something big or extremely, um, I don't know, it would take a unicorn almost to get me to do that.

Josh:

Gotcha. Yeah, that's tough, you know it's. I think my wife, she was in that area too. She works now and she's always worked since we've been together, but as a wife and as a mother, and it's taken me a long time to really focus on the idea that she has been quote unquote working. It's such a sensitive subject too, because I could say it's not work, it's because you're children, and vice versa.

Josh:

You know, I'm the breadwinner, I'm the one who's been working for the last decade, working for the last decade to make the money, to be able to get the support that our family needs to survive, and blah, blah, blah. But on the same token, she's working even though it's not a financial gain, and that's the only thing. It's not, is just a financial thing. But other than that, she's been busting her butt, making sure the boys are great you know what I mean and doing what they're supposed to be doing. And now she has a job you know what I mean, almost a nine to five job. And it's difficult for her because she hasn't had that in a while and she used to be an entrepreneur and owned her own company. She's a super high education where she's from, and so now that she has a nine to five grind again. It's almost like it's one work that she was doing substituted for another work. That just has income and that's all it is.

Kasey:

Yeah.

Josh:

So what I'm trying to do is get it to the point where she doesn't have to be there anymore either. I'm busting my butt right now to make sure that I can pull her from that genre that she's in now.

Kasey:

Yeah.

Josh:

You know, starting these businesses, I've really taken a huge chunk of our change to be able to do what we're doing. And without what she's doing I wouldn't have been able to do this, and without the support it's the same thing.

Kasey:

I love that you guys are supporting each other in the though.

Josh:

We only do that on the radio you know when we're recording Behind closed doors. We never support each other.

Kasey:

Oh my gosh, that's so hard for me to believe. I'm absolutely.

Josh:

I love her yeah, we, we went to a restaurant last night and, uh, it was going great until I tipped too much and she's she's always been that type to level-headed in me and I'm like, oh, they were awesome people. Yeah, here you go. Happy holidays. And it wasn't the best idea on my part and I definitely felt that pain on the drive home. Oh man, but yeah you know, but you blessed somebody.

Josh:

That's right I did. I did Somebody's super happy with my tip, but not my wife at that time. We woke up this morning and she's like gosh dang it. You know what I mean. Like we just can't be doing that now and it's again a recalibration, you know so.

Kasey:

Hopefully. I'm a big believer in what you give out into the world and the universe comes back tenfold, so hopefully you will see that in the very near future.

Josh:

Yeah, yeah, we're karma believers too. A lot of pay it forward type and a lot of that is is for for the boys. You know what I mean. Yeah, the argument that I had with her on the way home, with the boys sitting in the back, like how contradicting would their feelings be on that? Like okay, so dad did a good thing by over tipping you know what I mean. But then mom did a good thing by saying don't. You know what I mean. But then mom did a good thing by saying don't spend so much money. You know what I mean when now's the time not to do that, right, and there are times to do that.

Josh:

So you know, we're both stubborn as hell. So we're trying to argue our own points when they're both valid points, but to our boys they're like are you guys seriously arguing about this right now? You know, but to our boys they're like are you guys seriously arguing about this right now? You know what I mean. Like why are you arguing about this? This is so dumb. You're both right, but you're both wrong. You know what I mean. Like yeah, so just you know, find that happy medium. It's always one of those things that you know where everyone's constantly struggling as a couple and and I'm pretty sure you do that at home even as a as a single parent with your kids. I guarantee you and the kiddos are constantly trying to.

Kasey:

I think it's interesting. Sometimes it is yeah.

Josh:

So I mean, really we're going to now tie this all into bringing it back to where we can get those kids out on the street till the street lights come on. So look at it this way Try to understand that you need to be the best you can be for yourself so you can be the best you can be for them.

Kasey:

Right.

Josh:

And everything boils down to that communication and that trust and that love for each other and that family building stuff. You cannot do that if you have not prioritized yourself and your children or your family. I should say first, once you can do that, then you can spend more time outside, then you can spend more time really seeing nature and the beautiful things of what needs to happen from a primitive level. So that's basically the whole full circle of it all is bringing us back to where we need to be Right Case.

Kasey:

Absolutely. And something that I want to add to this today specifically is check in with your kids, check in with their mental health, ask them how they're doing Super sensitive topic and trigger warning. But I do feel like it's necessary for us to talk about, or just me briefly bring up, is because recently we've had suicide in the middle school locally and that is close to my heart. Having teenage daughters and that is close to my heart having teenage daughters it's very close to my heart with the connection that I have with kids in general, especially in the community and coaching and as involved as I try to be with kids and even having to check in with my own kids to see where they're at, how they're feeling emotionally. But check in with your kids, check in on their mental health. It's not always just about us and as stressed out as we can be at times and as go, go, go and we push things off to the side, our kids feel that and they internalize that and they don't always bring it to the surface.

Josh:

Yeah, that's right.

Kasey:

So definitely check in, not just with your own mental health and your own, you know, making sure definitely prioritize yourself and your health, but also don't forget to check in with them too in the meantime.

Josh:

Yeah, energy is going to rub off on them.

Kasey:

Absolutely.

Josh:

Easily and it's detrimental. So make sure that because we can cope with it doesn't necessarily mean a child could cope with it, because they're still learning the ability to cope. So, yeah, definitely hit them up and make sure they're coach, like we're trying to be All right listeners. That was episode four. You can find us at Streetlight Angels podcast on Facebook, on YouTube. You can find us at Streetlight Angels Podcast on Facebook, on YouTube. If you want to email us at streetlightangelspodcasts at gmailcom, when we post this, make sure you're putting those comments in there. Tell us what you think, tell us what you want to hear, tell us what you want to talk about. No holds barred, no hold punches. This is what we do. We want everyone to have a safe time, safe life, safe everything, and let's get us back to where those kids can go outside until the street lights come on. Yes,