She Diaries

Kathryn Craft's Story Part 1: A Hidden Addiction, the Unraveling of Trust, and the Seeds of Resilience

• Bright Sky House • Season 1 • Episode 6

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In Part 1 of this powerful two-part episode, author Kathryn Craft shares the real-life events that inspired her novel The Far End of Happy. She unpacks the unseen cracks beneath a picture-perfect life—from emotional isolation to financial betrayal. As she discovered $100K in hidden debt and her husband’s secret alcoholism, Kathryn began to understand how painful truths can unmoor mental health and amplify the stigma of addiction.

Through journaling, she grappled with what it means to grieve a spouse before that grief could fully arrive. Her life-altering decision to call the police marked an unexpected starting over—a first step toward healing, resilience, and confronting the bereavement yet to come.

By openly sharing this journey, Kathryn contributes to suicide prevention, reminding us of the importance of talking about pain before it spirals into tragedy.

Content Warning

This podcast includes real stories of suicide loss. Some episodes may reference the method of suicide and include emotionally intense or uncomfortable descriptions. We understand how sensitive this content is, and we carefully edit each episode to honor and respect both our guests and listeners. If you or someone you know is struggling, please call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org for free, 24/7 support. Please take care while listening—pause if you need to. You are not alone.

Takeaways

  • Unraveling the mask of a picture-perfect marriage
  • Hidden addiction, deep emotional isolation, and financial betrayal
  • The journal becomes a gateway to truth—and the question, “Have I married the right person?”
  • A suicide note sparks a shift toward starting over
  • Early steps toward resilience and emotional clarity
  • Narratives like this bolster suicide prevention and de-stigmatize mental health struggles

About She Diaries

In She Diaries, women who have lost their husbands to suicide bravely share their stories of strength while navigating the unimaginable journey of widowhood. Through candid interviews, the podcast explores their lives before the tragedy, moments that changed everything, the web of grief, and the hard-earned lessons of overcoming deep loss. These powerful stories shed light on the strength and courage it takes to move forward.

Produced by Bri

Mental Health Resources

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for free, 24/7, confidential support for mental health crises, suicidal thoughts, or emotional distress.
  • Find a Therapist: Search for licensed therapists near you through directories like Psychology Today, TherapyDen, or Mental Health Match.
  • Join a Support Group: Connect with others through peer-led or professionally facilitated support groups via NAMI or GriefShare.

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If you have questions or would like to follow-up with any of our guests, reach out to Hello@BrightSkyHouse.com.

She Diaries is available wherever you listen to podcasts.

Hi, I'm Krista Greig, your host for She Diaries, a podcast sharing the real unfiltered stories of women who've lost their husbands to suicide. It's raw, it's honest, and it's about finding your way through the unthinkable. Before we get to the show, please know this podcast includes real stories of suicide loss, and is not for little ears. Some episodes may reference the method of suicide and include emotionally intense or uncomfortable descriptions. We understand how sensitive this content is and carefully edit each episode to honor and respect both our guests and listeners. If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You're not alone. Please take care while listening. Pause if you need to. and you can find links to additional mental health resources in our show notes. Thank you for listening. Hi everyone. In today's She Diaries episode, we meet Katherine Kraft, author, writer, and survivor of a story almost too intense for fiction. What unfolded in her Pennsylvania farmhouse nearly 30 years ago would become the inspiration for her novel, The Far End of Happy. This is a must read. But before that story could be told, Catherine lived it. Part one of this two-part conversation takes us into the heart of Catherine's marriage, how it began, the slow unraveling, and the red flags that eventually turned into sirens. It's a story of secrets, emotional isolation, financial deception, and a deeply hidden alcoholism. This episode leads us up to the night she called the police. The decision that ultimately set into motion a police standoff she never saw coming. Hi everyone, welcome to this episode of She Diaries. I am thrilled to have everybody meet Katherine Kraft. She is our guest today and she has an amazing story to share. Two stories, kind of actually, one of her personal life, but then also talking about how her novel, The Far End of Happy, was inspired by her experiences almost 30 years ago. And Catherine, I would love for you to say hello and introduce yourself. Hi. uh I think you all might think it's strange that I have this big smile on my face and I'm going to sound energetic and enthusiastic and optimistic. Can't squelch it. That's simply who I am. But I did go through this horrible thing and I've had many decades to think about it. And it is the reason I became a novelist. I was a dance critic for 19 years in the Allentown, Bethlehem, Lehigh Valley area of Pennsylvania. And then this happened. And I was like, well, I'd been identifying as a writer for quite some time. And the first question is like, what do I do with that? You know, what do I do with it? Well, I'm a writer. That's I think, that's how I process things. So I wrote. But what? Do I write a memoir? Like, who's going to care? about my story. So thank you, Krista, for caring about my story. And I figured writing a novel is the way to go so that I could compress in a shorter timeline what happened over the course of months. so that was not my first novel, though, because ah I wasn't ready, my skills weren't there yet. So I had a practice novel, then I had a first novel, and this is my second one, and that sort of launched my life in story, which has become extremely important to me. It is how we make sense out of chaos. And I've devoted my life to it as a teacher, developmental editor for other people who want to get published, and in telling my own stories. This incredible and you made it wasn't for nothing. You know, you made, you made something so beautiful and a beautiful story that people can learn from that they can ask questions, meaningful questions about the situation. And also I'm assuming that there was so much healing or reflection involved in your process too, in creating this book. Before we dive in too far there, let's start from the beginning. And you met Ron when you were very young, correct? Or how was. as your story unfold together. Married at 26. I met him when I was 24. And as happened with many highly educated women that time, I was the only head waitress at the Hotel Mekongi that had a master's degree. And one night the bar manager at our hotel said, Hey, can anybody give me a ride over to the Holiday Inn? My car is being worked on at the garage next door. I'll buy you a drink. So my friend Sonja and I looked at each other and you ended up getting Sonja's book. Okay, so really quick pause and I know some people that are listening, can't see this, but if you're watching this on video on YouTube, this is the crazy, I mean, okay, so I just ordered the book on Amazon and there was a used edition available and I figured, okay, cool, I'll just get that one. And then I opened it up page to the page and I'm fumbling here, but it is literally a signed copy by you for Zanya. And I even got your original bookmark with it. I have none of those left as a matter fact. This is a collector item in my hair. You can sell it on eBay for one cent. But it says for Sonia who was with me the night I met my husband, hashtag choose this day and then your signature. And I just opened it and I knew immediately. Well, my first instinct was do I tell her because did she give this to a friend? And then maybe that friend sold it and like, I didn't want you to be angry at the friend or frustrated. And then I just like, you know what? Who knows? But I think it's such a cool timing and like weird coincidence. And I love those things. So. You were with Sonia the night you met... Ron. And let's think of it this way, Krista. She could have thrown it away, but she put it out there for someone else to find. And I found it and I got oh her. There is so much. There's such a positive. I love it. And I'm going to cherish this. This is not going anywhere. Well, I should, whenever we meet, I will cross off Sonia. So anyway, I looked at Sonia and then I looked at the bar manager and I said, would you buy us two drinks if we both came? And he said, sure. So we went over the Holiday Inn where we met the food and beverage manager who was behind the bar that night named Ron. Interestingly enough, he tried to set me up. with a younger manager in the hotel who was like, he was this morose boy, like could not have been further from me in personality. And he was just like, I'll hang dog. And Ron said, yeah, you two would probably have a lot in common. And he had his pet ferret with it, with him. And I couldn't stand the smell of the musk smell of the ferret. And I get away from me. But the guy behind the bar with the twinkle in his eye and big smile and a gap. and I thought he was adorable. So then, shortly thereafter, I found out that he was considerably older than I was, like 14 years. And it was just exacerbated by the fact that he and actually his mother had that same kind of skin that is almost like a sharp pay, if you know what kind of dog that is, like where it's overly wrinkly at an early age. And so then I thought... What does he want with a person like me? So I was kind of trying to push him away after that. But then he was in the bar one night and I was waiting for drinks. He started coming over to the hotel where I worked. And one night I'm waiting for my drinks and I'm looking up at the TV set and I said, Aveda is coming to Philadelphia. What I'd give for a ticket to that. And I turned around and left, delivered my, well. Next time he comes in, he has two tickets to Evita. Wow. So I had to look at him in a slightly different light. That's effort. That's great. He's not only actively listening. He actually followed through. That's great then like maybe a month later, he comes into the hotel and he says, I want to ask you something, but I don't, I don't quite know how to ask it. And I said, just spit it out. And he said, well, I'm wondering if you'll go on a vacation with me. And I said, well, I would if I can choose the place. He said, anywhere. And I said, I want to go on a car trip through Ohio. I miss all my friends from college so bad. And what do you say to that? He's like, so relieved and I said, bet you thought I was gonna say like the Bahamas or something like that. And he said, no, actually I thought you'd say no. Wow, so he's just relieved you even considered it. Yeah, so he met all my friends and my best friends at the time lived in Dayton and they said they loved him for me. He just seemed so easy-natured and he obviously adores you. And at the time I thought adoration was exactly what one was looking for in a mate and didn't look at much else. Yeah, you said that he kind of propped you up on a pedestal through your marriage. What was that like? Are there some examples of kind of how he did that? Well, one thing is that we never argued, never. We were married just shy of 15 years. So he never spoke his mind around me because he didn't want to push me away. You know, that was one thing. So like we were just saying before we started, you and I, it's not real if you don't really say what you're thinking. And even if you're two people who are very, very similar, it's still, you're going to come at. things from different perspectives and this is how we grow. It's a good thing, you know, but he never ever did until right before the suicide, which I'll tell you about later. Take a note, return to write it down. I'll write it down. So, you guys, you started dating, you go on this trip in Ohio. What was the proposal or marriage like, especially in the early years? We were having his best friend over for a barbecue at his farmhouse. He owned a home and that's where we ended up staying. That's where he killed himself. And we had just gone out to, I don't know, turn the steaks or hamburgers or something like that. And as we were coming back through the door, his best friend is right around the corner. He can't see us. He's in the living room sitting at a table and Ron sort of... Parcheway shut the door and pushed me back against the wall. And he said, tell me you'll marry me. I need to know right now. I was like, yes. And so we went right around and he said, will you be my best man? And boom, boom, boom, thing started. You is ready to go. So that was it. It's interesting because one of my cousins was going through marital problems in the early years of our marriage. And I thought, how could that be? Because it was just so easy. Why was it so easy? He never ever argued. He never asserted himself, really. The one thing that bothered him was after I became a dance critic, your editor needs to edit. whenever it fits his timetable and sometimes it has to happen like that and sometimes that's during a meal. And that would really tick him off. Or if we were, cause we started renovating the farmhouse. We gutted it room by room. And this is an activity that I was hearing from my cousin and from many people, other people, that this is when spouses oftentimes want to kill each other. It's hard to agree on everything, but he always left the design choices up to me. And he always had the role of construction supervisor, I guess. He was the main construction person and he would teach me what I needed to know to help him. So eventually I learned all the tools and he kept amassing tools because he kept proving to me that for instance, Buying a concrete mixing drum is so much cheaper if you have several projects than constantly renting one. And he did this math and proved it to me. So he basically synced us with a ton of tool buying. And then of course he had to make a workshop and he had all of this beautiful standing machinery in there. And honestly, he could have made something of that, but I think... By that time, already knew he was in financial trouble and he just had to down the hatch and work as hard as he could at the bar. And by that time, ownership had changed and it wasn't the fun atmosphere anymore. So it was like hell to go to work, but still he worked more and more and more. It sounds like he got, he started getting stuck and, but you guys still in this time were able to bring two beautiful boys in the world. Yeah. I had fertility problems. So that was, that sort of probably was the very first thing that didn't work so well with us. He had never aspired to have kids. He had lived with his previous girlfriend for 10 years and sort of helped raise her son from the age of six to 16 before they moved out. And he just was kind of done with that. ah He was 40 when we married. But he knew how badly I wanted kids. I'd wanted kids my whole life. And it can be infectious when someone you adore, you know, wants this so badly and that's something he can freely give. Sure enough, he had plenty of sperm. It was me. The one who wanted it so badly who had the problems. Oh, I had two miscarriages. He was not there for either of them. That was something that apparently I needed to go through by myself. And then he, you know, once it got down to the nitty gritty of the timing and the temperature and then the ovulation kits and all of that, he wasn't into, you know, intimacy, so lost its shine. Let's put it that way. It was planned and it had to be more, how do I say scientific without me saying scientific? Like it just, it seems like, um know, there's a con... Calculated and scheduled and processed and there seems to be a theme which I think has a parallel in the book as well, where it's when it's fun and happy and easy and light, wrong, thrive. Similarly to Jeff, that then when it got hard and complicated or messy, there seems to be an avoidance. Would you agree with that? Or was it always like that? Well, I didn't realize it at the time, but... Once things sort of came to a head and I talked to some professionals about how best to help him, they said, there's always abuse where there is alcoholism. You just didn't see it for what it was. I did, you know, in retrospect, I realized that when it did get tough and messy, I was the decision maker. I was the one who would take care of it because someone had to, and it was never going to be wrong. For example, we had this farm. We had like six barn cats. They all had names. They were all spayed and neutered. They were our pets. They got shots. We had, at one point we had three horses, a Welsh pony and a Shetland pony. We had what I called the chicken penthouse suite because we didn't do anything halfway. no chickens had ever lived in such a wonderful atmosphere. Um, we had three goats and this just meant more feeding, more shots, more vet appointments for me. It was all on me. He wanted to love them. He wanted to have them, but I was the one who took care of them. You know, when he was, when you're looking at the man, your love's face and those blue eyes are sparkling and that big gap tooth smile. And isn't this just the life? We are living our dream on this farm. This is heaven. until it was helped. Yeah. There is a blog post featuring photos of you and your family and you shared photos of you and the boys and Ron and you now call these early pictures the near end of happy. What does that mean? It was still in those idyllic early years. I saw it on Ron's face. He adored the boys. And my younger son was Mini Ron. I mean, he, anytime Ron, I remember one time he was building shelving in our living room and Ahead of time, he had gotten my younger son these goggles and they were so huge on his little face. And he had a child-sized tool belt that had an actual hammer hanging on it and then a couple of fake toys as well and toy tools as well. anything that Ron did, my younger son would be like, I have this one. And he'd go, you know, whatever. oh And it was just... We could see the beautiful things we were bringing out of this old house and making every single room the way we wanted to. And I'll never forget on the far end of Happy when I was going to leave him and he said, he was so confused by this, but how could you possibly do that? Look at this home. It's everything you've ever wanted. And I said, but in the end, it's just a house. I can leave it. Yeah. Absolutely. You built something and it was a great experience for you guys, but there is something missing internally. I can pass it on to someone else to enjoy it just like Sonia passed her book on to you. We don't have to keep everything because some of these more impactful things as you're hearing, I remember every detail in my mind. Yeah. So I have, I have a list of questions here. In the book, Ronnie did everything imaginable to help Jeff, but he never accepted it without strings attached. And it seems that she wanted him to heal more than he wanted it for himself. What are the similarities and differences between that situation and you and Ron? Like when did you first notice and see kind of that downward spiral? And then what steps were you trying to take to help him? noticed that after we built the tool shed, he moved all the financial records that used to be in the house out to the shed. The workshop, it was beautiful. It's no shed. You know, we didn't, as I said, we did nothing halfway. So he would be out there for hours. And I said, Ron, let me help with the finances. I'm not working right now. I'm staying home. working on the house. But I can take that time and do it. you know, you don't have to work these long hours and then come home and do all that. And he said, no, I'd rather you didn't. have a system and it's been working for me for my whole life. And I don't see the point in changing now. And I didn't take that as an insult. I just thought he is probably at the time 44. I'm 30. Maybe he's set in his ways. I wrote a lot off because of our age differences. So life continued on probably another five years past and uh he wanted to, it wasn't buy a car. I know. I said, well, then let's get a home equity loan because I had just been hearing about them maybe on a TV commercial that you could write one check every month. Everyone else would be paid off. It would be less pressure for him and much less time spent paying bills. And so he said, that's a great idea. So we filled out the application. Now at the time I was a dance critic and I was also a journalist. I would do feature articles. So I had a dictaphone type setup with my phone. down in my office. And one day while he's showering, getting ready for work, I'm in my office working and I get a call from the bank and said, obviously we're turning you down. And I said, what's obvious about that? And she says, do you have any idea what your credit looks like? And I said, no, I hit the record. They spoke. Five, 10 minutes? mean, cards I'd never heard of. Gas cards that I thought were for the Shell station that are actual credit cards that he'd run up 12,000 here. And this is back in 1996. Well, it was probably 1995. So that was a lot of money to put on a credit card. And it was just one after another after another. And he came down. So I hung up. came, I rewound. He came down to kiss me goodbye before going to work. And I said, you're not leaving yet. I have something you have to hear. And I said, we've been turned down for the home equity line. I started playing it and the list began. And he says, I'm sorry, I can't stay. I'm going to be late for work. I can't be late for work. And I said, you can be late for work. You have to hear this." And he was getting so agitated. And he said, I can't be late for work. I said, Ron, you're a bartender, not the freaking president of the United States. You can stand here and listen to this just as I had to. And then we're going to figure out what to do about it. And he just walked out. This feels like such a pivotal moment of, you know, you can come together as a team and solve this together and humble ourselves to work together in this, but instead he couldn't face it. He couldn't face the debt and face you talking about the debt. I mean, just walking out like that, I'm sure that felt awful. Yeah, well, felt, what it felt was familiar. He let me to go to work for each of the miscarriages. I'm in labor at home, dealing with it by myself. Well, that isn't quite true. My dance teacher that I worked with, she came for one of them. And then my mom came for another one. But they didn't get there until, you know, kind of late in the evening. In terms of your marriage, you were alone. Yeah. You were alone. And so... That was that. And then the next thing I noticed was I knew he always made himself a cup of coffee before he left the bar at night. I can get that. I mean, he's leaving late and coming home. And then I noticed there was an accumulation of Styrofoam cups on the floor of his car. I mean, he'd never really been a slob or anything. So I went, I just went in the car and started stacking them and I don't know what made me do it. I lifted one to my nose and it was Manhattan. And I was a member of Mothers Against Drunk Driving. So you can imagine now this union that we thought we were so similar, very far apart. How long do you think he had been hiding his alcoholism and drinking from you? I would come to know that he was a closet alcoholic. And the professionals told me that that means he was drinking when he was away from me. So this shocked me though, because he had such, there was a time when he had such strong professional ethics as concerns, keeping an open glass behind the bar. Everyone thinks every bartender does it. He absolutely did not. He was the consummate professional, even to the point that if we'd been out mowing during the day and we'd go out for lunch and I thought, oh, I can't wait to have a beer. Are you having one? He says, no, no, I'm working tonight. One beer midday he wouldn't have if he was going to go into work at six o'clock. So I just thought he was always like that, you know? So I have no idea. Previous to having kids, I was a waitress and he was a bartender. And so we had late nights and late mornings, but after we had kids and they became school age, I had to change my life to suit taking them to preschool and things like that. And actually... thrived. I've always been an early morning person and I was much happier. So I'd get up at like 530 before the boys woke up, certainly before Ron. Many hours before Ron woke up and I'd write in a journal because, and that started, actually I was 36 when I found out about the financial things because My sister said, look, if you're not going to leave him. And I just did not identify as a leaver. know, many divorces in my family, I'm one of five kids, but I figured I'm the one that it's working for. You know, I'm never going to leave him. And so she said, then I think you need to go into therapy yourself to figure out how to deal with this. Well, I wasn't really ready for that yet, but she showed me Julia Cameron's book, The Artist's Way. Okay. Why don't? It's really good for people who have gotten to be adults and realized they suffered some sort, they are creatives at heart, but they suffered some sort of creative wound in their past. And it's an amazing book. I've been through it three times, but one of the things she suggests is mourning pages where you just simply dump whatever's on your mind. Three pages, it doesn't have to be formed, no beginning, middle, end. You're just vomiting out whatever's on your mind, on your heart, your soul. And then sometimes halfway through you realize you forgot things at the grocery store. So in the column, it might say eggs, you know, and then I'd keep on writing. But the very first thing I wrote, the very first thing that came to my mind on the very first day I... journaled, the first sentence I wrote was, have I married the right man? And I had no idea where that came from. Like that was deep. mean, I just opened and what, you know, and I, and then it was all questions. My whole first three pages were question marks because I was just starting to question everything. And then it sounds like as things progressed as well, and I'm glad you had the ability to journal and write, it's so therapeutic just to get those things out and also stay true and centered to yourself as well, because you couldn't have conversations with him that seemed to be constructive or healthy, so you had to rely on yourself for that. At some point you had him committed, but there I'm assuming were some pretty big events or moments that led up to that. Can you talk about that time and- Also, how, when he got out. Yeah. So the, let's see, the day I had already told him I wanted a divorce and I could tell he was not happy about that. He would come home after work and bang pots around in the kitchen as if he was fixing himself something to eat, which he never did. And I would come down, what is it this time? You're going to wake the boys? And he was just calling me. That's the natural way of attracting attention is banging pots. not take a shower and, you know, look nice or anything like that. So he would go out on, we had a deck on the back and he'd smoke out there. That was another thing. That was sort of another breaking point. My kids had horrendous allergies. And by the time we finally got to an allergist, he said, does anyone smoke in your house? And I said, yes. And he said, that has to come to an end. Yeah. Well, now he didn't want to go anywhere in a car with us because he wouldn't be able to smoke and he wouldn't be able to smoke in the house. And he didn't even ever want to go. Why would I ever want to go to a movie? That's two hours where I can't smoke. And I thought, are you that addicted? Like I'd never met anyone that addicted to something. So anyway, why did I circle back to that? So this was the day I felt I needed to talk to him about what I found in the car, just finally pin him to the wall about how much money, how much in debt we are, because he put me off for two years saying, I'm too busy. It's going to take me a while to pull all that together. And I'm like, really? How hard is it? that together, but he kept putting me off. So I was finally going to nail him down on all this. And I didn't want him to have been drinking. So I kept him with me. He worked a day shift. Then I kept him with me as we went to take my older son to Taekwondo. And while we're sitting there, parents stay downstairs and the studio was upstairs and you could watch the monitor. He noticed that I had take my wedding ring off. And I just felt I didn't do it to hurt him. I did it because I needed some small symbol to myself that I was putting myself first. Yeah. And that I had control over something, whether it were that ring. So he said, you took your wedding rings off. And I said, yes, we're going to talk about this later. And he was just like stricken. So then we were going to a parents night at school. He stayed right with me. I drove him in the car. went to parents' night at school. And then when we got home, I had to put the boys to bed. Notice I say, I had to put the boys to bed, not left, not we. And he went out on the porch to have one of his precious cigarettes. And I put them to sleep. I could not have been gone more than 10 minutes. And when I came out, he was completely drunk. And I could not figure this out. Over time, And in retrospect, I think what he must have done was taken a bunch of painkillers he was having a problem with his knee and then just drank straight out of a bottle. How else could you get? minutes passed. Wow. So, um, he said, I went back inside. He followed me. Now we're in the living room. And he said, would you come back outside? I want to show you something. And he said, what? I said, what? And he said, it's in the shop. And I said, no, I'm good. I I'm just going to sit here and relax for a while before I go to bed. And he pulls this thing out of his pocket that looks like a marshmallow. It was about that big. What it was, was a suicide note. He had folded it, folded it, folded it, folded it until it was so small it fit in his pocket. And he said, I thought you'd found that you would find this when you washed my pants for work. And it's been through the wash, but he teased it apart. Yeah. Folded it open. And I read it. And obviously that was shocking. And he said, Now will you come with me? really need you to come with me. And so, okay. Obviously he's distraught. We had one of those bug lights over our front door that has a yellow cast. And as we moved from the yellow to the edge of the yellow cast and it got dark. And suddenly I thought, no, I can't, I can't go any further. Yeah. I think he wanted to show me that he had his gun and he was going to use it. or he was gonna use it in front of me or he would kill me first. I just sensed extreme danger and I said, I'm going back in the house. So by that time we were already in separate bedrooms. I went upstairs for a little bit, took my shoes off and he went back on the front porch to continue smoking and drinking, I guess. I snuck down into the basement and called my therapist and I said, it's 11 o'clock at night. She answered the phone, her. I said, my husband just showed me a suicide note. I don't know what to do. And she said, call the police and tell them that uh he wrote a note and that he showed it. And I still had the note. So I did that. And then I went back out onto the porch and he said, I thought you were going to bed. And I said, yeah, but obviously. you're not doing too well right now and I want to make sure you're okay. Yeah. And so we just sort of sat there quietly. We were on a glider on the porch back and forth. That was very soothing for me. In the back of your mind, you know, help is coming. So this is a time stall delay tactic to get him to stay calm and alert, not fall asleep and be present when help shows up. And also I wasn't going to try to fall asleep. For one thing, how could I? And secondly, I would be way too vulnerable asleep. And I wanted to keep them, the boys, uh they had a third floor bedroom under the eaves. We gorgeously renovated the attic, of course, ah or there had two rooms. So they slept up there. And probably by midnight, there's this pop and crackle coming from the gravel in the driveway. And Ron's looking around like, what? And he leans forward and he sees that it's a police cruiser. And he looked at me and said, I will never forgive you for this. The police, the two of them got out, separated us, took me into the house, interviewed me. I showed him the note. The other guy, I heard say to Ron as he approached, Mr. Williams, I hear you're not feeling so well. And then they had a talk and the police officer read the note and he said that I was talking to him. said, well, because of this note, we can take him, but you're going to have to come down to the hospital in Reading and commit him against as well. And I said, well, I can do that in the morning, but I have two young boys upstairs asleep. And he said, I'm sorry, but if you're going to do it, you have to do it now. I'd never been to Reading. I didn't know how to get there. He had to give me directions. This is before GPS. So here it is going on 1230, one o'clock in the morning and I have to drive 45 minutes away and with my boys in the backseat. So I just told them that their father was very sick. He was not feeling well at all. We had to immediately take him to the hospital and I'm sorry about this. And they're trying to fall asleep on the bucket seats, you know, in the ER. so that never thought I'd be in that scenario, you know? Yeah. Then he was in there four days and then he saw the patient Bill of Rights on the wall that said he was, if he did not repeat the threat of suicide. while he was committed that he had the right to sign himself out. So I got a call from the psychiatrist saying he was going to have to release Ron and I would have to come pick him up. And I was like, how can this possibly be? I have to bring him back into my home? Like, I can't, I had a dog. I had all these animals to take care of. I had a business to run. I couldn't just move. all of us out so he could stay in the home. And so I had no idea what to do. So I went and uh said to the, the psychiatrist said he would meet with me at the hospital first and then Ron would come in. So that's very much like in the book. Yeah. Where he said, he told me he'd been meeting with Ron. He doesn't think Ron's a very honest person. If I were you. I understand you filed for divorce. And I said, yes. And he said, if I were you, would freeze your bank account. And I would, I understand his mother is going to give him some money to pay off the debts. I would pay those off immediately. And ah so that he doesn't spend the money on something else because your husband is not capable of good decision-making anymore. That's load. That's a huge burden. Yeah, things that gotten so bad. But you know, I was busy. I was taking care of him, you know, and I thought, all right, he's ticked off or whatever. It's bound to happen sometime in a marriage, you know. I just had no idea. And I also had very little experience with mental health. You know, I just didn't know that things could go south like this. So I took him home and in his car, I picked him up. And so I was talking to the psychiatrist and Ron came in the room and he said, he wanted to say this in front of me that Ron, you aren't going to be able to drink anymore. And he said, I haven't had a drink in here and I'm doing fine. I haven't even had a cigarette in here and I'm doing fine. And the psychiatrist said, this is not your life. This is a suspension from your life. And you are not, you're not under the influence of any of the stressors that have pushed you into the position right now. But they're all, you're gonna hit them all at once when you get home. And he said, I can absolutely not drink. But of course, Catherine's birthday is coming up and I want to shake her up for a nice dinner. So of course we'll have a bottle of wine and I'm sure there'll be some other special events, our anniversary and things like that. And he said, Ron, we know you would lie to your wife, but the fact that you lie to yourself is going to be the source of your undoing. And that just echoed in my mind. Ron was taken back to his room and I said to the psychiatrist, is he going to kill himself? The psychiatrist said, he just might. So now, how can you function, you know, in your house when he's there? So while he was gone, I collected the guns, any ones I knew of. He had a collection. He had about 13 guns, I guess. And I them all up to my mother's and I got rid of all the booze in the house and he kept some in the barn, poured it all out in the driveway. smelled like quite the cocktail party at our place. It was sunny, the stones were hot, and I'm surprised I didn't see, you know, like waves in the air. But when I brought him home, the first thing he did was look in the divider between the seats of his wallet. Into shreds, every single credit card that he told me he had already gotten rid of. And he went ballistic. And I just had this bubble of protection around me, like anything he said was just bouncing off me. I stayed calm and I said, Ron, look at this. You have never shown me this much passion in your life and it's about credit. Credit, not love. You know, this is bad. So the next day he came down and he handed me a piece of paper with the amount of money we owed. which I did update a little bit for the far end of happy. was a guest, but back then it was $118,000 on credit cards and he was never going to recover from that. So all of his inheritance, which he had always counted on, he counted on his mom dying. He counted on being the only heir and it was going to pay off. I'm sure that was deeply shameful for him. It must have been. And there was no talking about it, no dealing with it, no finding solutions for it. No, I just had to keep looking for a place that I could afford, that I could move all these things to, which was hard. And I did talk to him about that. And I kind of had a bubble of protection around me when I was talking to him too. And I think, is that because I was finally sitting in my truth? I don't know. I don't know what caused that, if it was a miracle, but we would talk out on the deck so he could smoke. And I just said to him very calmly, you know, and in a loving way. I don't want to nag you. I never want to say you're doing this wrong, you're doing that wrong. If this is the life you want to lead, then you deserve to have someone in it who shares those same values. I do not, and I just can't do this anymore. But I also need you to find a place to live. I understand I moved into your house. I am not on the deed. That was something we had talked about. But his former girlfriend, who he wanted to, because they weren't married, he wanted to make sure she'd be okay if something happened to him. He put her on the deed and he did buy her out, but she really nailed him to the wall over it. And he said that the hotel would put him up for a varying nominal fee each night. And so the day he was supposed to move out was the day the whole standoff unfolded. eh Let's talk about that. So that morning you were anticipating, okay, this is the day we scheduled for him to move out and leave. And the boys were very much aware of it. But what did you, I think it was either you or your son, your youngest noticed immediately as he was getting in a vehicle. And that kind of started this effect of what unfolded that day. The first thing that started was I was awoken by the TV set downstairs. was super, super loud. And I thought, what are the boys doing and what are they watching? You know, and I went up just to check on to see if it's just one of them or both of them up in their attic bedroom. And they were both sound asleep. I went over to the room I used to share with Ron. The bed had never been made in and I went downstairs and the house was empty. There was a huge wad of cash on the table and I went in and turned the TV off and I had no idea what was going on. So even though it had been very high tension waiting for this six weeks, I still, I just can't even fathom this. You know, I can't even think of making that final decision like that. Well, my mind did not go there, but the boys were getting ready for school and I thought, Please just let them get to school if something bad is going to happen here. He drives the car from behind the barn. Our front door faces away from the road, it faced toward the barn. So he'd been up behind the barn with his car and I saw him drive down and pull in front of the house and he staggered out of the car and pulled tubing out of the exhaust pipe. And he was staggering all over the place. He opened the trunk, put the tubing in and the boys knowing that he was going to move out that day wanted to say goodbye and they ran to the door and my third grader who had been taking the drug and alcohol resistance program, education program at school said, dad's drunk. And this is not something they'd ever seen. Frankly, I'd probably only seen it four times and we worked in bars. He had incredible tolerance for alcohol. It's one of the many forms. He probably could have been addicted from the very first time he tried it. He had this sensitivity. So I told them to get back. I was going to talk to their dad. And then if everything's okay, they can come out and say goodbye. So then I realized he was getting in the car before he even left the house. He was getting in the car. as if he was going to drive it. And then I saw my youngest, eight years old, running out because their program had taught him that his father should not be drinking and driving. And I thought, oh man, all the kids on the road are going to be going to the end of their driveways. We're in a rural area for the bus to pick them up. He could hit them all like bowling pins. So I ran out right after him and I... tried to reach in, I reached in to try to grab the keys. He's scratching at me, pinching me, pinching my youngest. We're having this physical altercation for the keys. And I finally got them and started to back away and he got out of the car and I thought, you know, what do I do? What do I do? And I just tried to disorient him. He was quite drunk, so I grabbed his glasses and threw them. And he was so shocked by that that I had a minute. And I said, run. I let him run to the house first. I came running afterwards and Ron is running after us. My youngest gets in the house. I'm just about to close the screen door and Ron gets there and has both hands and is holding and pulling it back. And as it turned out, I had paid good attention to all those taekwondo classes. uh tried my very dancerly best to give him a roundhouse. to the ribs so that I could get in the house. He took the blow and then he looked up in shock like, what? What's going on here? Which is exactly the same question in my mind at that point. And heard Mr. Alexen, the Taekwondo master say, no, you don't kick the board, you kick through the board. And I kicked through my husband. to the best of my ability and he went down and I went in, locked the door, I pulled my son back and he was just shaking, shaking, shaking, Yeah. In the meantime, my other son calling out to me, Mom, what do I do? What do I do? Had initiated a 911 call. So I took them both to the interior of the house, got on the 911 call. They said, is there a place upstairs with a phone? And I said, yes. He said, why don't you all move there right now? And I was like, but like by now I'm, I like that stupid and I'm trying to make the light still. I do I hang up this phone or what? said, really don't worry about this phone. Just set it down on the counter and get your kids upstairs. So we went upstairs and they're like, mom, but we have to go to school. And I said, yeah, change of plans. Yeah. staying home, I put cartoons on the TV in the bedroom and the 911 operator said, there a window where you can see what's going on outside? And when we were fighting for the keys, I had seen there was a shotgun leaning against the front seat. There was a, I don't know what you call it, a gallon, a half gallon. I don't buy this so much booze. was a lot, a big thing of whiskey. was a vermouth that he wanted. There was cups, there were several packs of cigarettes. Apparently he was gonna have himself, you know, some sort of self-soothing until he was able to kill himself. So I looked down from the boys' room, that's the only window on that side of the house. The car had pulled down the driveway a little bit, but he didn't have the keys. The gun was missing. I could see through the window. So I could see the gun was missing and Ron was missing. and you had no idea where he was. And so police end up showing up. Yeah, and first I called my parents. Okay, so I wanted them to take the boys away and then all the police start showing up. Well, cars in the driveway. So we were stuck. At that time, did you have any realization how much danger you guys were in? No, it was just he was always so laid back, know, just smiling and happy to be around us. Never really, even in my family, which is a very boisterous family, five kids who all had opinions and my parents and my dad's siblings. It was always a bit raucous, all storytellers. ah And we'd say, Ron, tell us something about your youth. What's a funny, what's an embarrassing moment from your youth he says I'll never beat you guys you don't need to hear my stories and I never heard his stories So please come. Your parents come? Yep, now my parents are stuck there with me. And is it similar to the book where you guys were all ushered out and taken to a safe place? Or did you have to ride it out in the house? Yeah. In the book, there's a farm store down that road, very close to the house. That's in reality, that was my neighbor's house. The police now were lining the whole road for like a quarter of a mile. so I'm starting, I'm sure to get the inkling that this is bad. Look at how many police showed up. One by one, a cruiser would come in the driveway. Now they waited, they waited, they waited. We're all in the basement, which had a door out facing that downhill side. And that's where my office was down there. And we start to hear a helicopter, thwomp, thwomp, thwomp, thwomp, thwomp. And he said, okay, that's the state police. They're here. They're going to watch from above and make sure it's safe. So they took my youngest son first, and I'll never forget. It was October, but like many boys, he hated to give up his shorts until it was really, really cold weather. And when they picked him up and put him on the police officer's hip, his thigh was pressing against the butt of a gun. And it just, that's a symbol that I can't get rid of. I have PTSD from... the sound of helicopter blades because it was just such an ominous presence right over the house. And then they'd say, okay, take the first one, go. You're in the clear. And he ran down the hill with my son and put him in a car and whisked him away. I didn't know where they were going. You had no information, you just knew that one by one you were all being taken out. Yeah, then my next son, then they took my parents together, looped their two arms to try to keep them steady going down the hill and they went together. And then it's just me and my dog. And I said, this is so traumatizing. My dog, can you please take my dog? No. So he was going to be there all day, police coming, going from the house. And my dog had PTSD from the thump, thump, thump, thump also. Um, didn't, he had never been afraid of thunder, but afterwards he was basting with terror every time there was thunder. Because it sounds a heck of a lot like a helicopter. So they. They took me next and in the car I said, why couldn't we just, why couldn't I go with my kids? Why did you have to separate us? And they said, because when someone loses their regard for their own life, all bets are off as to whether they'll honor any life. And we were trying to minimize the damage. As part one has ended, is in the middle of chaos, helicopters overhead, officers surrounding her house, and a heartbreaking unknown unfolding outside of her door. After they are all relocated to safety, Katherine is left to face the unthinkable as the standoff unfolds back at the home she want built with love. She helps police locate her husband, keeps her son steady and calm, and makes impossible choices. all while facing an outcome no one knows how to predict. It's a story of maternal courage, resilience, and the first fragile steps forward after the unthinkable. And as the hours unfold, Katherine begins to ask herself the question no one should ever have to face. How do you move forward after a day like this, no matter how it ends? Subscribe to She Diaries to be the first to know when part two drops. Thank you for joining us for this episode of She Diaries. We know these conversations can be incredibly heavy. If you're feeling overwhelmed or need support, please take a moment to care for yourself. In the show notes, you'll find links to mental health resources, crisis lines, and support groups. If you're in crisis or need immediate help, call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You are not alone. If today's story moved you, we'd love for you to subscribe, leave a review, or share the episode with someone who might need it. To stay connected, follow us on social media at BrightSkyHouse and subscribe to our e-newsletter at BrightSkyHouse.com. If you'd like to connect with a guest or share your own story for a future episode, send us a note at hello at BrightSkyHouse.com. Every story deserves to be heard. Thank you for helping bring this one to light. Until next time, I'm Krista Gregg and this is She Diaries. These are feelings driving me away