Parenting Shrink Wrapped
Parenting Shrink Wrapped is your all-access pass to the wild and wonderful journey of raising kids! Hosted by Dr. Melissa Wellner, a double board-certified psychiatrist and child and adolescent psychiatrist, and Samantha Straub, a licensed therapist, educator, and parenting coach, this dynamic duo brings a perfect mix of professional expertise and mom humor. With five kids between them—and thousands more they’ve supported in their professional roles—they’re here to share practical strategies and real-life stories that will help you navigate everything from tantrums to teen drama. Whether you're handling sleepless nights or the chaos of carpool, you'll find relatable advice and a good laugh along the way. Strap in, because parenting is a ride, and we're here to make it a little smoother!
Parenting Shrink Wrapped
How to Help Your Teen Build a Healthy Relationship With Food
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Are the things we say about food unintentionally affecting how our kids feel about eating and their bodies?
In this episode of Parenting Shrink Wrapped, Sam and Melissa are joined by Christiana Cortina, founder of Nutrida, for an important conversation about food, body image, diet culture, and preventing disordered eating in children and teens.
Christiana explains why seemingly positive messages about “healthy” eating can sometimes create anxiety, guilt, shame, or rigid food rules. They discuss why restricting foods can create scarcity, how kids learn from the way adults talk about their own bodies, and why labeling foods as “good” or “bad” can be confusing for children.
They also tackle a common issue for parents of teens: What do you do when your teenager isn't eating enough?
From skipped breakfasts to executive functioning challenges around preparing meals, the conversation offers practical ways parents can make food more accessible without turning mealtimes into another battle.
In This Episode:
- How diet culture shows up in today's “healthy eating” messaging
- Warning signs of disordered eating
- When parents should seek professional support
- What a healthy relationship with food actually looks like
- How parents can break generational patterns around food and body image
About Christiana
Christiana Cortina, MS, is the founder of Nutrida, a family-focused nutrition practice dedicated to helping individuals and families build positive, sustainable relationships with food.
Using a weight-inclusive and compassionate approach, Christiana supports children, teens, adults, and parents navigating nutrition, feeding challenges, body image concerns, and disordered eating without shame or rigid rules.
A former elementary school teacher, she brings a child-centered perspective to her work and helps families create more peaceful and connected experiences around food and mealtimes.
Connect With Christiana
Website: Nutrida / Feed Your Soul
Instagram: @nutrita_feedyoursoul
Email: nutridallc@gmail.com
Contact: parentingshrinkwrapped@gmail.com
Watch on YouTube: Subscribe to Parenting Shrink Wrapped for the latest episodes.
Follow:
Sam – Instagram & Facebook
Melissa – Facebook
Work with Us:
Sam – Teen Savvy Coaching
Melissa – Annapolis Psychiatry
Save your spot in the next FREE Teen Savvy Parenting Masterclass.
Free Parenting Resource: Learn the L.O.V.E.D. framework for handling tricky convos.
Listen & Review: Follow on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
This podcast is educational in nature and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental-health care.
When we're labeling foods as good and bad, um, even though we mean, like we want we have intentions of like helping kids learn what foods are gonna support their body more and which ones may not in that moment. But in a kid's mind, they're thinking like, oh, this food is bad. So am I bad because I'm eating this food.
SPEAKER_02Welcome to Parenting Shrink Wrap, where two mental health professionals will get real with you about the joys and the challenges of raising children and teens. I'm your co-host, Dr. Melissa Wellner, a double board certified psychiatrist and taught an adolescent psychiatrist and mom of three.
SPEAKER_01And I'm Samantha Straub, licensed clinical counselor, longtime educator, parenting coach, and mother of two. Together, we'll explore all things parenting, from handling monumental meltdowns to first-time drivers. We're all about giving you practical strategies that work. Parenting Shrinkwrapped is more than just advice. You'll sit in with us for compassionate conversations about the complexities and the absurdities of parenting. We're here to support you and your kiddos.
SPEAKER_02So grab your cup of coffee, take a deep breath, buckle up, and join us for this journey called Parenthood. We'll laugh, learn, and commiserate about the joys and messiness of raising kids. But before we get to introducing her, I wanted to talk about what is going on in the world with all the weight loss meds that are out there. Every ad I see is for Ozempic, Wagovi, and there's the ability to pay out of pocket for these meds. You don't even have to go through a doctor. There's like online platforms that you can go on and like sign up and basically get on a medication that is actually indicated for diabetes as well. So these are medications that are used for folks with um diabetes, and they are now being used and promoted heavily for weight loss. And people are losing a lot of weight on them, for sure, but there's also people on them that don't need to be on them, and they do somewhat uh produce some disordered eating because a lot of what these meds do is they curb your appetite. So people aren't eating, and that's part of the mechanism for how they're losing weight. Um so we're in for a talk today that's focused obviously around food, diet culture, body image. Um, and Sam, if you're not watching, is sitting here kind of with her mouth half open, like shaking her head.
SPEAKER_01I sure am because I've seen this. This has come up in my coaching practice and in my therapy practice. I've had clients um say they, and these are like sometimes kid clients say that they want to go on one of these GLP ones. And I'm like, gosh, you know, I'm not an MD. I don't know what the consequences are for a 16-year-old or a 15-year-old who whose body is like allows them to do what they want to do. You know, like this is not someone who's you know what I mean? Like they're not overweight to to the point where they can't function. Like they're a healthy, athletic in some cases, like very um active young people who are getting the message that their body's not good enough. And and that there's a that that a pell will uh will improve their self-esteem, and that that's not that's tragic.
SPEAKER_02Well, I know folks that are um definitely on GLP ones that didn't they really need to be on them, didn't really necessarily meet the criteria to be on them for uh obesity weight loss, and you know what message I think does that send? Because yes, they've lost weight, but did these people really actually need to lose weight? And was that the appropriate healthy way to lose weight? And what does that uh messaging send to your children?
SPEAKER_01Uh I remember like growing we there was no GLP ones in the 1980s when I was a teenager. You know, it's like there was not that didn't exist. But and I was an athlete, I played two sports, and so whenever I was done with one sport, I was training for the next one, and so I was always active. So I would come home from school having had you know breakfast and lunch and then gone right to practice or something, and I would be ravenous by the time I came in the door. Like, like I could have just inhaled the pantry, and I usually did. And sometimes if it was sometimes it was healthy food, and sometimes it was like a whole bag of cool ranch Doritos, because that's just what was there. And and I remember my mother, who was peckish and a and a tiny woman. Like she was just frame-wise smaller than me, and she ate little. Um, like she would look at me like and like part of it was disdain because I had just finished off dollars worth of groceries, some of that, but some of it was like like you're eating too much. And I'm like, that's and I just remember I it was such a conflicting feeling. Like my own mother getting judgment vibes. She didn't say if you eat that, you're gonna you're not gonna like how you look. Although she might have at some point, but like I don't, that's not what I recall. But it was the like that's an unwise choice, and I'm like, ah, yeah, but they're here and I want the cool ranchery. I don't know. It just I feel like this stuff with the GLP ones did not start now. Like the the obsession with our bodies and obsession, particularly for women in looking smaller as a pathway to self-worth, that's existed for a long time. And um it didn't always exist, you know, like in what what was it like the Middle Ages where you know a sign of health, a sign of wealth was to be heavier because you didn't have to move your body all the time, right? Because so at any rate, we are in for a uh I think a pretty terrific conversation. Um, we are joined today by Christiana Cortina, who has a master's in nutrition, and she is the founder of Nutrita, a family-focused nutrition practice dedicated to helping individuals and families build positive, sustainable relationships with food. Amen. Um and so she uses a weight-inclusive and compassionate approach to support children, teens, adults, and parents, to navigate nutrition, feeding challenges, body image concerns, disordered eating without shame or rigid rules. She's a former elementary school teacher. And so she brings a real child-centered approach to her work, helping families create more peaceful and connected mealtimes. And her mission is to help people feel confident, nourished, and at ease with food while recognizing that health extends way beyond what is on the plate. Christiana Cortina, welcome to Parenting Shrink Rep. We're excited for this rich conversation.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much for having me and for that really great introduction. I'm really happy to be here.
SPEAKER_01We, first of all, did did what we were talking about, like with the people that you work with and the reason you got into this work, did that resonate? Well, did it ring bells for you two?
SPEAKER_00For sure. Um, I think it's definitely a huge part of the conversation, um, but only a little slice. I think there's so much going on, and that is just kind of like the big upfront thing that we're all seeing, especially with the ads and the marketing, like you mentioned. Um, but I think there's so many other background things that are just as dangerous and pervasive as the GLP ones that I would love to get into today, especially when it comes to kids, because they're absorbing so much from us, and then teens are absorbing so much from us and their peers and social media. So it all can just be the perfect storm for something disordered to come about with food.
SPEAKER_01Tell us a little before we get to that, because I I agree, let's let's definitely go down those those avenues. But how did you get interested in this work? How did you go from elementary school teacher to owner of uh a health-based nutrition practice?
SPEAKER_00So I was a teacher during the pandemic um at a Title I school, and it was the first year I was mainly all virtual, um, which was really challenging. Yes. It was third grade. Third grade was tough online. A lot of my students didn't have access to Wi-Fi, a lot of them didn't speak English. It was very challenging. Um, and then once we got back in the classroom, it was even more challenging. Um I had a lot of compassion for my students and their parents. A lot of their parents were essential workers. Um, so there was just a lot going on. And I always have had a special interest in food and nutrition. I've always been quite the foodie. I love to eat, I love to cook. Um, and then, you know, when I was teaching, I kind of realized this isn't what I want to do forever. And on an impulse, I just applied to get my master's in clinical nutrition and I got accepted. And then there I was. And as I went through my program, I really thought, you know, I'm gonna help all of these families, you know, eat better. And I use quotes because that was back in my day before I had all of this exposure to, you know, real challenges that family space, the social determinants of health, um, all of these other things that contribute to health and nutrition. And now I really focus on, you know, cultivating a positive relationship with food and having connected mealtimes, and obviously helping families and kids nourish their bodies with what they need, but that not necessarily being the priority of just the food and what's in the food and what we're serving, because that's just part of it.
SPEAKER_01So there's a real psychological component to this too.
SPEAKER_00For sure. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so let's let's get into it. You know, you're talking about messaging that kids get around around food. Okay, so so let's talk about that. What messaging do kids get because of what things parents do? That's a really bad, badly stated question. But state it again. What do parents do by accident to screw up their kids' relationship with food?
SPEAKER_00Sure. So I think it's like really important to say that everybody has a really unique relationship with food and eating. And we all have different experiences and beliefs and emotions that are tied to food, eating, mealtime, and it's been shaped over the years by um culture, social media, healthcare experiences, the way you know our parents grew up and their parents grew up and what they had access to. So it's really important, I think, to consider that we all are growing up in the same culture that can be really confusing and difficult to navigate a healthy relationship with food. And there's never meant to be any like blame or shame when it comes to what parents do or say, but there's definitely a way to go about it in a curiosity sense of you know, what did I learn? How did I internalize certain messages? And do I want to change those for my kids growing up?
SPEAKER_01You said it so much more, so much more nicely than I did. So like, and first of all, I am like the last person to blame or shame, but I do use a reference if that hasn't become apparent to the listeners of the of the podcast. So so just how you said it was so thank you for for dancing around when I said, like, tell us how to not screw up our kids. You're you were like, let's not blame Sam, let's not shame. Thank you for walking that back. I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_00Of course, and it oh, sorry, go ahead, Melissa.
SPEAKER_02Um, I was gonna say, like, I liked how you said about getting curious. And I was hoping you could kind of elaborate on that, because I know that's also a word that Sam loves to use to that one.
unknownYep.
SPEAKER_00Sure. So I think um when I learned all of this, like all of this was learned uh from going through my program and and self-educating on how to help families. Like this was not something innate in me that I just was like already doing. So it was really started to make sense. Like after I started learning about all of these ways to shift our language to give different messages to kids, I was like, oh, wait, like this makes more sense. Um, so what I mean by that is like kids are absorbing the way we talk about food and the things that we're doing as parents or just like older mentors. And sometimes those can get internalized. And a lot of kids, when they're not teens yet, think in black and white in very concrete ways. So when we're labeling foods as good and bad, um, even though we mean like we want we have intentions of like helping kids learn what foods are going to support their body more and which ones may not in that moment. But in a kid's mind, they're thinking, like, oh, this food is bad. So am I bad because I'm eating this food? Um, and then there's this guilt and shame and kind of confusion because you know, if they're saying this chocolate chip cookie is bad, or I was so bad I ate all these chocolate chip cookies today, you know, a kid is feeling like, well, it tastes good, so yeah, but it's bad. Like it's very, very confusing.
SPEAKER_01And then it's the bag of Doritos. It was like the full inch Doritos that I sometimes snuck. Sometimes I would like bring them into other areas of the house so nobody would see me wolfing them down, just notice them gone later.
SPEAKER_00That's a really all the Doritos on your fingers.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's a really common thing. Um, kids sneaking food. And I think that can be really tied into that shame and guilt, or that there's not access. Yeah. Um, a lot of times there is a lot of restriction. And sometimes that restriction can be praised by, I would say more often than not, especially on social media and in our culture. And we're in this time of diet culture where it's not when I was a kid, when it was 100 calorie packs and Jenny Craig and Slim Fast, and it was really obvious that these were diet foods. Now it's like, oh, we're checking our ingredient labels. Oh, that is that sugar is toxic and it's poison, and we don't keep that in our house. And you know, you you can only have dessert if you eat this and this and this, or we only have this at certain times. And it creates this scarcity mindset for kids of okay, I know I don't have access to this all the time, so once I do, yeah, you know, better take advantage, better vacuum that baby up.
SPEAKER_01Like yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then what's gonna happen when that kid goes off to college, right? Like, I I just imagine, like, if you've been that restricted and then at home, and then you go away to school for the first time at 18 years old, the flip and switch that's gonna go off, aside from whatever other sneaking and whatnot happened before then.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I think that's like the really important part is we aren't always gonna have control over what kids are eating and what they have access to. Um, and I think that that word control is key because there is this sense of feeling in control when it comes to food or feeding or eating um that parents can have, adults can have, and then children are in charge of the food that goes into their mouth ultimately. Yes. Um, if they want to be. And then when they are out on their own or when they're a teen and they're with their friends, or even when they're in elementary school and they're at their friends' houses and they have access to foods that might be restricted at home, they don't have that trust of knowing, you know, I can eat this until my body feels full. They think, oh my gosh, I love chocolate chip cookies and I haven't had them and I don't know when I'm gonna have them again, if ever. So I'm gonna eat as much as I possibly can in this moment.
SPEAKER_01I've heard the stories like that, like real life going to birthday parties and being like just camping at the dining room table, eating the buffet of desserts. Like, yeah. And and what you said about, oh, I know when my body feels full, or I or maybe I know when my body feels sick, right? Like I know when I've eaten more than I want to. That's all practiced by by tuning into internal cues, by paying attention to the signs your body's giving you back after you've eaten. And whether we're talking about internal cues from filling your belly, or internal cues from paying attention to physical sensations, or internal cues that are feelings-based or thought-based, that is a skill that we all need across the board, which is to stop and get introspective about what signals we're getting from within, as and to use those signals as data and guidance, potentially, right? Like, and so I imagine that some of your work when you're dealing with uh you know, um distorted thinking or distorted messaging around food has to do with getting am I am I extrapolating too much? Like, does is this true? Is it do you kind of get back in touch with like the little signals that your body gives you?
SPEAKER_00Yep. So this is all like intuitive eating, um, which is a concept and practice by Elise Rousch, who's a registered dietitian. And she very much, there's 10 principles. Um, so there's been so there's it's nuanced because intuitive eating can easily be turned into a diet or a set of rules if you interpret it that way. Um, so it is a very intentional practice, and there's a lot of unlearning that has to be done for a lot of people. Um, but there's also uh their concept is everyone's born pretty much an intuitive eater. Um babies cry when they're hungry, they know when they're they're full. And it kind of gets taken away from us as we grow up in our culture and society. And I think more often than not, the older we get, the more we are relying on external things to tell us what to eat, how much to eat, um, whether that be something that's pre-portioned or tracking things on an app. Um, it's there's not a lot of looking within of what feels good for me, what how much food do I need right now? Because that's going to be different based on so many things, even with kids. Um they might need more food in one moment and less food in another moment, especially when they're growing. And I mean, toddlers sometimes they eat all day one day, and the next day they're not eating, they eat, you know, two chips.
SPEAKER_02And I was just saying over the weekend, I was just saying yesterday to like a friend that like my kids have been in very active summer camps all summer, and the amount of food they are consuming has increased as a result because they're not sitting in a school at a school desk. Like they're active for six hours a day versus like being at school, and I've seen the difference in you know the food consumption um because their physical activity is just much higher right now.
SPEAKER_01But what I asked this question though, so so what I'm hearing is there's a normal, it's normal to ebb and flow, especially for little ones, with how much you take how much food you crave or take in in a day. I, as a therapist and as a parenting coach, often talk to parents of teens who say that their teenager is skipping breakfast and sometimes skipping lunch, and then then and then it like they may or may not eat dinner, but there's some portion of eating that feels like a forced march for the kid. Um so instead of it being an overeating thing, it's a it's a refusal to eat thing or a disinterest. And then of course, I think about the mood outcomes there because you know, when you go a long time fasting, your brain still needs glucose to go. So it's not maybe getting it from food, it's gonna get it from your liver. And when your liver produces glucose, you're gonna get cortisol. And so then we have mood drops. Like we've got like stress based inflammation because of long time fasting, which is what I want something, you know, I try and explain that to kids like here's why you need to eat more over regularly. What like first of all, uh I I had my sample size is small. So is this a thing that happens across more than just the You know, the two clients that I'm seeing. And two, what advice do we have for parents or kids who are dealing with under eating or skipping meals?
SPEAKER_00There's so much to say. Um, so I think the first thing with parents, I think the best thing you can do is model. Um, and what are you, what is your example? Are you eating breakfasts? What are you eating for breakfast instead of telling, showing? Um, and really it might be as the adult, it could be on you at that point if you aren't eating breakfast or you don't know what to eat for breakfast, is to learn about that in a way that's supportive of your body and your needs. And maybe that's working with a nutrition professional. Um, maybe you have some of that nutrition knowledge and you just need to put it into action, which is not always easy because people are busy. Um, so figuring out how I can model that, I think that is the big number one thing that parents can do. And then if there is skipping meals and lack of interest in eating, I definitely think getting curious is important. Um, just from a prevention lens of, you know, I noticed that you're not eating breakfast. Is there a reason why? Um, maybe it's just, you know, I'm not hungry. Well, let's find a solution because maybe you need to take something with you to school and have it the first opportunity that you can eat. I mean, I I know so many teens that do not eat breakfast, and I think it's just normalized. Um so I think really having that conversation of why aren't you eating breakfast? Is there something underneath of that? And I think explaining the importance can be helpful, but it is a slippery slope of feeling like a lecture and then feeling that, well, I'm not going to because you're telling me.
SPEAKER_01Well, something that I'd recommend to parents, and some this is this is a tough pill for some parents to swallow, is like remember, your your child is capable of making themselves food, but that doesn't mean that they're capable of making themselves make them make food. That like it's the it's an initiation of a task to make a sandwich. Um, like I I I was just I was just thinking about this actually over the weekend. I made a sandwich and it in the sandwich I I had a chicken breast that I had to slice up, and then I took some bacon that my husband had made and I crumpled that on top, and I took hummus and I wiped that on the sandwich, and then I sliced a tomato and washed a piece of lettuce, and then I put it all together and sliced it in half and put it on a plate with a pickle and some salad. Now it's just a sandwich, right? But that took me 15 minutes to put that all together on my plate. It wasn't a fancy lunch, but it was bound to be a little bit more than a few. But that's a lot of steps, Sam. Yes. And so if like I my kids are a little older now, so they're much much more likely to make themselves food. But in high school, suggesting that they make themselves a sandwich, like they might have liked what I just described, but they would not have slowed down to make it. If they opened the fridge and the sandwich was there, they would have happily consumed it. So sometimes I say to parents, I know that you are refraining from making your kid food because you think this is a skill or a tool they should be able to develop on their own. And if they're undereating, start cooking for them. Like make the food, make it more accessible for them to put food in their body. Do you agree with that messaging?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I think bringing them into the conversation, like, you know, I'm going to the grocery store. What kind of breakfasts do you like? And do you want to be accessible to you? Because there's so much convenience options now. And that can be really um difficult for people to accept if they're kind of in this like fear-based perception of food of, you know, ultra-processed foods are bad or convenience foods are unhealthy and putting quotation marks. Um I think really giving permission of, you know, having a microwaveable breakfast sandwich that has some protein and a carbohydrate and some fiber in it, that if that's what your kid likes and is going to eat, something that my supervisors always say is fed is best. Um, so what does that look like? Is it a smoothie yogurt to go just so they have something? Um, so I think bringing them into that conversation and then I think for with cooking, I owe I know a lot of people don't like to cook. A lot of people say they don't know how to cook. I think that it I think if you learn how to cook in a fun way, um, that that can be really special. And it's such a skill that kids can take with them. Um, I do a lot of cooking with kids and teens, and they really get to take autonomy over that and independence in that, and it's really fun to see that.
SPEAKER_02And a lot of kids are seeking that control, right? Like it's the same idea of like what you put, they have control over what they eat or don't eat. Like, and it's the same thing, like if with like cooking and activities and stuff, they they're gaining that feeling of control and independence.
SPEAKER_01All right, so we're talking about um, you know, messaging and also some steps that that families can take to support a healthy relationship with food and and a healthy like food intake. Um they don't always go hand in hand. Um and you talked about like the fact that there's messaging out there around that like even even intuitive eating, which is a pretty like person-centered way of eating, can be distorted into a rigid diet. I've heard people in your field talk about diet culture and insidious diet culture and health culture turning into something bad. Can we talk a little bit about that and how that affects families and kids?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, sure. So um, I mean, the thing I want to start with is diet culture goes back so far and it shifts all the time. Um, and so does the body ideal and the trends of what that looks like. And there's so many amazing books on this, and it's definitely one of my special interests. And um a lot of diet culture and body ideals are rooted in racism and anti-fat bias, and all of these things that stem from very, very serious concepts that we I feel like most people don't either know about or it's like so far gone that we've lost the plot. Um, so to me right now, it seems so dangerous and scary for kids because diet culture is disguised as health. And that to me, when I say that, I mean that there's these fads of clean eating, checking ingredients, making sure we are only eating whole foods, uh clean foods, all you know, no preservatives, no artificial ingredients, and really demonizing all of these different types of things that a lot of people eat. And maybe that's because they like it. Maybe it's because it's the only thing they have access to. Um, maybe they don't have that nutrition education. So it's really scary because those messages are not only coming from a diet mindset, it's almost like our cultural belief, and a lot of it is aligned with morality and your value. And it's this I am good because I eat this way, and that is part of who I am. Um, and that can be very, very dangerous when it comes to slipping into disordered eating patterns. Because when it's aligned with your values, then the guilt and shame you're feeling, if you do give yourself access to foods that aren't considered good, um, it can spiral.
SPEAKER_01So what happened, what are some warning signs for that?
SPEAKER_00So with eating disorders or disordered eating, um there's definitely going to be behaviors before there's physical signs of this happening. And something that you can be aware of is increasing food rules. Um, so you know, rules around food, I can only eat XYZ if I went for a mile run, or that reward system um with foods, and then cutting out certain food groups, um, which also can be praised a lot in our culture. And sometimes that needs to happen for dietary reasons or allergies, but it still can be a slippery slope if you're doing it for that reason. Um then guilt and anxiety around food, excessive exercising, body checking, so like constantly looking in the mirror, dissatisfied uh dissatisfied body image, like not being happy with your body, which is exponentially difficult with social media.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, agreed.
SPEAKER_00Um, anxiety around eating, and then weight changes, which losing weight and gaining weight can be a sign of disordered eating. And I think something really important to mention is that eating disorders and disordered eating don't have a look. Um there's a very much a myth that everyone with an eating disorder or disordered eating is in a small body or looks emaciated, and that is not true at all. Um, so it can affect anyone, it can affect boys, um, and their eating disorders in general are on the rise, and the age that we're seeing signs is getting younger.
SPEAKER_01And so if let's say a family or a parent is listening to this and they're like, oh gosh, you know, like my kid is starting to do that checking thing, or or I'm starting to see the um like calories burned or allows me to have calories, like that's a cat, that's calories earned, you know.
SPEAKER_02Um well, Sam, think about it. I I mean I'm sitting here, you're about to say what you're gonna say. We're all walking around, and kids are walking around with Apple Watches, smartwatches that are tracking this for you.
SPEAKER_01I yeah, that's all the time. This is my mother's watch. I don't have a smartwatch, but my birthday's in two weeks, and I asked for one for my birthday because my like all my whole family has one, and they're all like, Howard, what were your sleep stats? What's your body battery? And I'm like, I don't even speak that language.
SPEAKER_02I didn't even let you finish your question, but it like popped into my head like we're all walking around, and like a lot of families will get their kids a smartwatch that tracks all this stuff before they're giving a cell phone. So you've got elementary school age kids walking around with these devices on their wrists.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna I really have to interrupt your question. From like I'm gonna see. I'm gonna see if it like makes me obsessed with calories and steps and all that, like the like my family. Anyway, but sorry, sorry. What was I saying? What was that?
SPEAKER_00Um I think you were talking like I think you were gonna say, like, when parents notice um yeah, what do you do next?
SPEAKER_01That's what what do they need to do?
SPEAKER_02I'm sorry, I didn't mean to like go on a tangent, but it like I had to like put it out there.
SPEAKER_01Get a smartwatch per Melissa, thank you. What should they do?
SPEAKER_00I think obviously early intervention is key. Um once disordered eating turns into an eating disorder, it it's harder to go back on those behaviors that have been developed. Um so I think opening a narrative of, you know, I noticed you're looking at your steps every day on your smartwatch. I'm curious why you're doing that. And seeing what their answer is, because it may be from a place of, you know, oh, I just I like to be active and I it's fun for me, or it's maybe it's from a different place, maybe the kid gets defensive. Um, so I think opening up that narrative and then seeing what comes about, and I mean, my first thing would be getting them to see a therapist or a registered dietitian or a certified nutrition specialist, which will be my track, um, to make sure that they're getting what they need and identifying those patterns. Um, I think also just reflecting on what you what messages you may have portrayed in the past, what your values are when it comes to food and bodies and what kind of messages kids may have internalized in the past because it's ever changing. Um, I mean, I can think of things when I was a kid that parents and adults set around me that I still remember. Um, and you know, it doesn't mean that you're gonna give your kid an eating disorder or disordered eating, but there if there's that perfect storm, all of those things are risk factors.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Okay. And if you so you said, what do we do? Seek seek consultation, seek, you know, and and a nutritionist, uh trained nutritionist. And I would you said a therapist, as a therapist for teens, I would all add to that find a therapist who's got an expertise in eating stuff. Most of these are not everybody does. Most therapists who work with teens can talk body image, and I certainly do all the time with most of my clients because it's an issue for most of the teens that I work with. But when it slips into disordered eating, that's when I know I'm I'm out of my depth. That's not my like I'm not trained in that, and I and I know there are techniques that are um recommended and not recommended for that population, and and uh seek someone who has that expertise.
SPEAKER_02And Sam, in the eating disorder world, one of the actual mainstays of therapy treatment is actually family therapy when it's concerning an eating disorder. It's not just individual therapy for the individual who's experiencing it. So there is it's definitely like a shift in the therapy world and like a niche area, right?
SPEAKER_01Because it's it's a systemic thing, like the the right, and and that's what we were talking about. I was talking with a with a client not that long ago who was was dealing with some body image stuff, and I said, as a little one, do you remember either of your parents talking badly about their own bodies? And the young person was like, Yeah, I remember my mom saying I I look I don't like how I look and like she's like shaming herself. And I said, like, I I didn't even say anything. I just I just was like just just make note of that. And I said, I'm not blaming your mother, like I'm not like nobody does less than their best, but you get to choose what messages you're gonna take in and not take in. And that might be one that you took in by accident without realizing you had a choice, but now you have a choice and a way you get to decide whether you take that forward. And she was like, Okay, I you know, I'll think about that. Just see like I I know that mom didn't mean to pass that down to to their kid.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I it's kind of like what you said before. It's especially being a woman, uh you're taught to want to be smaller. Um, and I can't tell you how many times my clients who are older women just say, you know, I just need to lose that five to ten pounds. Yes. And then I'll feel better. Then I'll be better. Be confident, yes. Yes. It's like ingrained into us. And especially now this conversation is moving forward, I feel, um, in a way where people are talking about it. But when you know, my mom was a parent, it this wasn't talked about in this way. It was ingrained and internalized that that is what is supposed to happen, and you do anything you can to get there.
SPEAKER_01Yep. Um, so like as a seventh grader, I drank Slimfast for a week to fit into my my oh, eighth grader. It was my eighth grade dress that my mom had made for me, and I had like gone away for the weekend during the fitting weekend. She was not happy about that with me. And um, and then I came back and my dress didn't fit. It was a little too snug. So I had to drink Slim Fast that whole week leading up to the draft. Like it fit. If I I could put it on, but um, yes, it would do whatever it takes.
SPEAKER_00Do whatever it takes, and that was whatever it takes, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And that's and that's why like people are injecting that need to lose five, ten pounds are injecting these GLP ones, which are not without their side effects and impact.
SPEAKER_01Like, it is a medication, like this has been this is such a deep and tender. We could go on forever.
SPEAKER_02There's so much here.
SPEAKER_00Um, I think I I would love to kind of talk about what a healthy relationship with food looks like.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, let's end on that one. Let's end on that. Let's end on that.
SPEAKER_02Let's end on the good positive note.
SPEAKER_00I think it can be challenging to identify that um and to know what that means for someone. And I think one thing I want to say is, you know, nutrition should not be your whole life. It should contribute to your life. And health is so many things. Food is so many things. Food is not just nutrients, it's traditions, it's cultures, it's connection. And all of those things are really special and really good for us. So remembering that when you are on an occasion, like at a birthday party, it is actually healthy to have a piece of cake and enjoy that day without thinking guilt or feeling shame because you're eating something that you don't feel is has the nutrients that you think are healthy for you. Um, and then just going back to having a positive relationship with food is somebody who can trust their hunger and not be triggered by hunger. Hunger is a normal feeling and it's something that we want to feel, and then respecting our fullness sometimes. Sometimes we eat four of our grandma's cookies because they taste so good. Um, and that's okay. And then you think like, wow, I ate a lot of cookies, and now I'm feeling a little sick, and it might have been worth it, it might have not been worth it. Um, and then just not feeling guilty after food or eating and not obsessing over food, and you can attend events without that anxiety and crippling shame or constant narrative in your head of, oh, if I eat this, I might have to do this later, or I'll eat this now, but then tomorrow I won't eat anything. So those kinds of thoughts are not helpful, and there is a way to have a more peaceful relationship with food.
SPEAKER_01Great reminders. And I think if you're someone who's dealing with any of those thoughts, sometimes it can feel like, okay, easy for you to say lady, but how do I get there? And and that's what that's what like genuine support in this area looks like. Either therapy or work with a nutritionist. I and nutritionist with your uh lens, Christiana, with your approach, um, I've seen uh just phenomenal transformations in people's, in the freedom that they feel in their life after doing this kind of work and overcoming those those really rigid feelings around food. And if you can achieve that for yourself, you can transmit that to your children. And and we can, as Melissa and I always say, um you know, create we can we can be world changers. We always say thank you for raising the next generation of world changers, but we have the potential to change the world now by by the attitudes that we choose to carry forward and to shed uh for our children.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, that was really, really beautifully said. And I think too, just if this doesn't sound this healthy relationship with food or positive relationship food doesn't sound like something that you have, like really imagining like what that could be like and how that would be for you. Yes.
SPEAKER_01So if people hear this and they're like, I'm imagining it, I want it, or I've got a kiddo who needs some support and someone who's got some training and working with with kids around healthy eating. How can people find you, Christiana?
SPEAKER_00Um, so I have a website, it's neutrita n-ut-r-i-da, feedyoursoul.com, and then my Instagram is neutrita underscore feedyoursoul, if you want to follow me there. Um, or you can email me at neutrita llc at gmail.com and I would be happy to chat with you and and see if I can support you or your family.
SPEAKER_01Awesome. And all this. Thank you so much. Of course. This has been such a pleasure to our listeners. Thank you for tuning in. We love you, we love your kids, and thank you for being and raising world changers. We'll see you in the next episode. Thanks for joining us on this wild ride called Parenthood here at Parenting Shrinkwraft. We hope today's episode gave you some useful tools and maybe even a few laughs to help you navigate the twists and turns of raising teams and kids.
SPEAKER_02Remember, parenting is a journey, not a destination. And no matter where you are on the road, we're to help you stay on course. Whether it's monumental meltdowns, teenage turmoil, or just the everyday chaos, don't have to travel the head alone.
SPEAKER_01So until next time, keep your seatbelt fastened, your sense of humor intact, and your eyes on the road. We'll be back soon with more compassionate conversations and practical strategies to support you and your family.
SPEAKER_02Don't forget to subscribe to Parenting Trickcraft wherever you get your podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you've enjoyed today's show, we'd love it if you'd leave us a review and share it with a friend.
SPEAKER_01If you have suggestions for topics you'd like to see us cover in the future, feel free to send us an email at parentingtrickcraft at gmail.com.
SPEAKER_02Until we meet again, take care and enjoy the ride.