Grief, Guilt, and Grace (A Personal Check-In)

In this heartfelt episode of Get Psyched, Kari Samuels opens up about a deeply personal experience—the passing of her father—and candidly explores the multifaceted emotions of grief, including the often-overlooked feeling of guilt. Through her journey, Kari shares practical insights on how to navigate grief, maintain a sense of normalcy, and cultivate self-compassion during life's most challenging moments.

Kari reflects on a comforting vision she had as a child about the afterlife, offering a unique perspective on finding solace in the midst of loss. She emphasizes the importance of allowing yourself to feel without judgment and reminds us that healing is a deeply personal and non-linear process.

Key Takeaways from This Episode

• Grief is complex: There’s no “right” way to grieve; it’s a deeply personal journey that involves a wide range of emotions.
• The guilt-grief connection: Many of us question whether we did enough, said enough, or were present enough—this is a natural part of the grieving process.
• Practice self-compassion: Give yourself the grace and patience to process your emotions without judgment or self-criticism.
• Feel your feelings: Suppressing emotions only delays healing. Acknowledge and experience your feelings to move forward.
• Seek comfort in your beliefs: Spirituality, faith, or personal philosophies can provide strength and hope during difficult times.
• You’re not alone: Grief is universal; we’re all navigating personal or collective losses in some way.

Connect with Kari:

• https://karisamuels.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/karisamuels

A note from Kari:

This episode is a deeply personal one, and Kari thanks listeners for their understanding and support. She assures them that the podcast will return to its regular schedule soon.

Transcript

Hey, it's been a while. And you know, I usually have things prepared for you in a very detailed and orderly way, in a way that makes a lot of sense and that you can easily absorb.

But I don't have that for you today because it's been tough for me the past couple of weeks. In addition to all that's happening in the world and all the heaviness that we're all going through, just a couple of days after the election, my father passed away. And so I've been dealing with a lot of grief and overwhelm and So many feelings and I was so excited about this podcast and I'm still so excited about this podcast and I was really doing everything every week and so excited about making sure that you [00:01:00] had something every week to listen to and to enjoy and then this happened.

So I just wanted to come on here to let you know that. I'm here. I didn't disappear. I'm still thrilled about this podcast, but I needed time and I still need some time. So I'm just coming here to check in with you and so that you can check in with me and know what's going on. And I also want to talk about grief because I think we're all in a period of collective grief.

I'm not just talking about what's happening in the country and the world, but for the past many years. We've been living through different phases of collective trauma and there's a lot of layers to it. And one of the things that I've noticed that comes up with [00:02:00] grief is guilt. There's always a sense of guilt when we lose something or someone passes, even if it's a pet.

I remember when I was doing one on one readings so many times. If there was an animal suffering, a pet suffering, and their person put them to sleep mercifully, they'd always be sobbing. Like, did I make the right decision? Did I do the right thing? And I think the guilt that comes with grief has to do with, did I do enough?

Did I do enough? Am I doing enough? And this whole process with my father passing before he passed, after he passed, there's been so much guilt involved. For instance, even just this, like, [00:03:00] I needed my space to process and it didn't feel right for me to come on here and talk about magic lessons and intuition because I just needed to be in my feelings and not hold space for anybody else.

I needed people to hold space for me and I felt guilty about that. Because I just started this podcast and I'm like, well, I should be doing that. And then when I was working, I felt guilty that I wasn't just, sitting in my grief the whole time. See, there was no right way to do it. Before his passing, of course, there's that, sometimes there'd be guilt, even if there was like, let's say I'd be [00:04:00] having a good day.

I'd have guilt about that. And I'm sure we all have guilt sometimes being joyful when people in the world are suffering, or there's guilt about all the things that could have been, or you didn't do enough of, or could do more of, or the possibilities that if you did this, then, or if you didn't do this, then this would or would not have happened.

I think we all go through this. And this isn't going to be a long podcast. I really just came on here to let you know what's going on. And I want you to understand that emotions are very complex. That with one usually comes a lot more and there's no right way to live life.

But when you judge your [00:05:00] feelings, when you judge like the right way to grieve, even You know, my father had a really good sense of humor and

he wouldn't want me to be suffering the whole time that he was suffering. When family would visit him in his last days, it was best to be joyful around him and humorous. And so that guilt about, I should be suffering every moment while he's suffering, or it's very prevalent in our consciousness. That It's really hard to know what's right, right?

Like, whatever feelings you're feeling or lack of feelings, however you're processing is the way to [00:06:00] process, right? There's no right or wrong way to experience life and however you approach anything that's happening. is what you're capable of experiencing right now. So there's no right or wrong feelings.

There's no right or wrong depth of feelings. And we all do the best we can while we're in the moment. So I want to talk about grace.

Give yourself grace with the space that you take and the space that you need. to move through your life. You need moments of processing and you can't push yourself to be productive. You can't push yourself to

feel [00:07:00] one way or another. There's some guilt that comes along when people are passing and you see them suffer. There's that moment or moments when you want them to be free from pain. And you can feel guilty about what that might mean.

I had this vision when I was a child about what happens when we pass, because I used to think a lot about past lives and when we pass and life on the other side. And I've explained that to you. It's just something that I was always attuned to as a child. And I had this vision of When you go to the other side, there's this welcoming, a group of people that is the most loving experience.[00:08:00] 

And do you ever know that feeling where you're at a reunion or something And you see people and you forgot you knew them. And then when you see them at a reunion, you're like, Oh my gosh, how are you? Well, in this vision, it was like that. You go to the other side after you pass. And there are all these beautiful friends and family and this warmth, and they're greeting you.

And it's this celebration that they get to see you again. And you see people that you haven't seen. For your lifetime, but you remember them when you're on the other side, because they're part of your soul family. It's kind of like a birth, that when you come here, and you're born, you're greeted by all this love and your new family.

Well, that's what it's like when you pass. We miss them [00:09:00] when they're not here anymore, you miss them. But I do know that on the other side, when anyone crosses. It's like the greatest reunion. And so I have comfort in that. And whatever you've lost, whoever you've lost, allow yourself to feel those feelings.

Don't push yourself. Don't judge the depth or breadth of your feelings or what you're feeling. Allow yourself to feel your feelings without judgment. And that's the grace to allow yourself. And if there's anything unspoken or anything that you want this person to know, or a part of yourself that you have not resolved something that you wish you'd done differently, write a letter to yourself or write a letter to that person or write a letter from your [00:10:00] higher self to you.

or to that person and let that flow through you. So that is your magic lesson for the week is to give yourself grace and imagine that your higher self knows that you've done the best that you could and you're doing the best that you could right now. Imagine what it feels like to allow yourself that grace.

to live knowing that you're doing exactly the right thing at the right time and allow yourself that healing that comes with that and that you've done the best that you could with the people in your life. So whatever it is you're grieving or whoever it is that you're grieving, because we all are about something right now.

Let yourself experience that without judgment and with as much compassion as you would give to [00:11:00] someone else. So, with that, I leave you. I'll be back soon. I'll be back on our regular schedule. I just wanted to check in with you and I love you so much.