Fated Mates & Fake Wives

We’re wrapping up our April Pick a Number month with two very different reads and some very honest opinions about what worked, what didn’t and what we’re willing to forgive when the vibes are vibing.

Nicole dives into A Fate of Onyx & Ivory by O’Junea Brown, a 2024 romantasy featuring a fierce heroine, a magical kingdom called Solaris, and a fae king who may or may not be waving red flags under all that charm. We’re talking plot twists, a jalapeño-level slow burn, and the very real betrayal of a series that ends on a cliffhanger with no final book in sight.

Then Meghan brings The Pretend Wife by Bridget Asher, a fake relationship story that leans hard into grief, identity and emotional growth instead of a traditional romance formula. There’s a drunken agreement, a lakeside family visit, a love triangle that’s more complicated than it looks, and a green pepper spice level that keeps things firmly on the mild side. We also get into character development, beautiful writing moments, and whether you actually need a villain to justify your choices.

Of course, we keep our traditions alive:
– the spice scale 🌶️
– the first booby reference hunt (with some aggressively unsexy contenders)
– and a spirited debate over what even counts as a romance

Next up, we kick off our Mothers of Romance theme with Barbara Cartland and Judith McNaught, so prepare yourselves for vintage covers, dramatic plots and old school tropes.

Grab your drink of choice (box wine or liver-cleansing tea, we don’t judge), hit play, and come hang out with your favorite bookish biddies.

👉 Subscribe, share with a romance-loving friend, and leave us a review wherever you’re listening.

And tell us:  are you okay with a cliffhanger … or do you need closure?

Books & Beverages for this Episode:

Meghan's Book & Beverage:  The Pretend Wife by Bridget Asher with dandelion tea

Nicole's Book & Beverage:  A Fate of Onyx & Ivory by O’Junea Brown with Bota Box Sauvignon Blanc

The Ripped Bodice
Shop for your next romance read using our affiliate link!

Libro.fm
Libro.fm is an audiobook platform that lets you support local bookstores & businesses.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

Welcome And Monthly Theme Plans

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Hello.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

I'm Nicole Danielle. And I'm Megan Lee. And this is Romance on the Rocks, where two bookish biddies imbibe and talk about the romance novels that they have been reading. Oh lordy. Yep. Yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Well, we're we're finishing up our pick a number for the month of April. These are our last pick a number books. And then for May, we are going into the Mothers of Romance, if you will. Correct. Um, and if you're like, what the hell does that mean?

SPEAKER_00 0:48

It means Megan made something up and Nicole went, That sounds great. And then we ran with it. Yeah. We decided we've got Mother's Day coming up soon. And so we're going with some of the foundational authors that really would have carried romance novels back in, I would say 70s and 80s.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Sure. And I'll even ride that into the 90s a little bit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Yeah, for sure. I just know that the books I chose, I think, are specifically probably 70s and 80s.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

You know, I haven't even checked what year.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Oh, really? Yeah. I I'm pretty sure mine are mine are in that kind of vicinity. I just went by the names of people. I'm like, yeah, yeah, my mom had those. Yep. Yeah. So Mothers of Romance is coming up, but for now, we've got our very last pick a number.

Tea Versus Boxed Wine

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Yes. And what are you drinking this week, Megan?

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Okay. So hear me out.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Very, very early on in this book, probably, you know, chapter two or three, there is a large party and a lot of drinking, which leads to a big thing that happens in this book. So the drinking early on is pretty important. I know for a fact they were drinking something with coconut. They may have been more specific than that. I don't remember. And then later on in the book, there's a discussion about gin and tonic and about having to run into the store for one lime. One lime only. So I'm gonna let you guess what I decided to make tonight.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Gin and tonic with one lime.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

No ma'am. Hot tea. We're sober tonight. What's not fair? Yeah, I was bamboozled. Yes, on purpose. You were bamboozled on purpose. I I had a little bit of over-drinking last week, we'll say, when I was in Omaha with my reselling cohorts. And so we're on a little bit of a cleanse right now to let the liver kind of rest. And uh so we're going with hot tea tonight, which sorry guys, it's it is what it is.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Well, what are we talking? Are we talking jasmine oolong green tea?

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Dandelion, because I'm serious about getting my liver happy. Oh yeah, that's the that's the liver cleansing tea right there. Okay. We're going from dandelion root. So it's quite movie.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

Yeah, I like dandelion root tea, but I do too.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

It's not a complaint. I I have been drinking a lot of dandelion root tea this week. Just just needing to settle myself down a little bit because yeah, I I might have gone a little overboard.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

You know, there was a period of time where it was really popular to put either grass-fed butter or or coconut oil into your dandelion tea and like froth it up.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

I didn't know that. I've heard of that for coffee, but I didn't know people were doing that with their tea.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Yeah, so it was a thing for dandelion tea, and I have to say it was pretty yummy. It was almost like butterscotchy then. For some inexplicable reason, but I was digging it and then my cholesterol shot through the roof.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

That's kind of not the point of drinking the dandelion tea. So yeah. Uh, all right. Well, so that's where I'm at. What do you have tonight?

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Megan. I guess I'm drinking for the both of us because the old box of wine.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Okay, because this is usually not the part that people see. Nicole literally just picked up a giant box of wine. She brought the whole thing up with her.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

You know, and I'm not, I'm not one for boxed wine typically, unless I'm camping.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

There are a few that are actually pretty good. I found one that was an organic box wine, and they don't carry it in my local store anymore, which is kind of a bummer because it was probably one of the only red wines I was able to drink without getting myself a headache.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Yeah, it's it's Boda Box, which is my if I'm gonna do box wine, I go with Boda Box. I like Boda Box. This one is a Sauvignon Blanc, if you will. It's important to make it sound fancy when it's out of a box.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Well, okay. Can can I rewind to the fact that I am drinking tea and also let our listeners know that I am going to be seeing you in person very soon. Yes. And I'm trying to make sure that I will be okay for seeing you in person. Ha. Yeah. I'm kind of babying my liver and my uh, you know, body until I see you. What are you saying? I'm just saying, like, we also tend to get a little bit out of control. And so what you're talking about. Just want to make sure I've given myself a little break because I plan on going hard when I see you. So okay, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

unknown 5:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:40

All right. Guys,

Nicole's Book: A Fate of Onyx & Ivory by O'Junea Brown

SPEAKER_00 5:41

Nicole gets to go first this time around. We actually checked before starting to record, which to me is an improvement. We looked. And by we, Nicole looked. Because I just stood here.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

I also have to tell you, Bob recently told me he wants me to get a on-air sign for downstairs. I love that. Because he has a horrible penchant for deciding to open the fucking garage door, which is right below my recording office, um, clawfis, whatever we're calling it. In so uh for those who don't know, I started audiobook narrating. So I'm I'm in here a lot more recording beyond just the podcast now. And yeah, he opens the garage door, and then I'm like, I'm like, motherfucker. Anyway, anywho, this week I read A Fate of Onyx and Ivory by Ojuno Brown. I should probably pull up my show notes.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

That's probably a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

I know last time when you were reading the back of this book, I had mentioned to our audience, I almost read this book. This was in my card on Amazon. Yes. I think back when we did our first Faye and Fairies months. Yeah. I had thought about getting this book, and for whatever reason, it didn't end up making the cut that time around. So I'm glad you read it because then at least one of us has gotten to it.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Actually, I have a signed copy as well because I met the author in person last year. Um, but it is a really beautiful cover. I really love the cover. It's gorgeous. In the background, it's kind of a Castle garden-y scene with a fountain, and then on the cover is this really beautiful, lovely woman with wavy curly hair and this really kick-ass dress that looks almost like it has armor on it. Um, and then she's holding a lotus flower. So it's really beautiful. I love it. This was published in 2024. It is a romanticy. Our main characters are Amira, a young woman whose family has fallen on hard times and does her best to provide for them however she can, including hunting and trading and some other things. Amira is a no-nonsense kind of gal who is fierce and strong. Then we have Rain, the Faye King of Solaris, who rescues Amira and brings her to his magical kingdom. And then Rea, Rein's sister. She is sweet and kind to Amira, except when Rein and Amira start to get cozy, and she also possesses the magic power of healing.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Is because it's spelled like the kind that comes from the sky?

SPEAKER_01 8:23

Yes, but with an E on the end.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

Yes. Thank you.

unknown 8:27

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Plot line. Amira gets duped into making a deal with a witch while trying to make money to feed her family. She starts working for the witch, but weird things start happening. She starts getting hunted by a pack of wolves and a Faye dude, introducing Rain, rescues her and takes her to Solaris, his kingdom. It turns out that the witch wanted to steal Amira's youth and beauty, and she is hellbent on getting it. So Rain insists that Amira needs to stay in his kingdom for a while in order to keep her safe, with no clear-cut timeline as to when she can leave, which is a little sus, but whatever. Rain, during the time that Amira is in his kingdom, shows her around a really cool garden and some other fun festiv festivities and what have you, and then reveals to her that they are Megan, your absolute favorite. Fated maids. But but his sister Rea keeps getting pissy every time Amira and Rain get cozy and warns Amira repeatedly that things are not what they seem in Solaris. Regrettably, I have to leave it there. Woof. Wow. I I cannot share anymore. That is that is brief. Uh-huh. I know. But unfortunately, I mean it's not a girthy book. And yes, I'll I'll get to that in a minute. Spice level? I'm putting this at a jalapeno. There are some intimate scenes, but no full-on penetrative sex, if you will. Things that I loved. There are some nice plot twists. I love a plot twist. And I enjoyed the character development and especially enjoyed Amira's character. She's a tough cookie, and even though she's young, she's not some simpering virgin. So I really appreciated how down-to-earth and fierce she was, and that she's actually had sex before. So she's not hung up on that type of thing, you know. Challenges. The book ends on a cliffy.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

And I knew you do not do well with a cliffhanger. You are a closure kind of gal.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

I know. And I knew that it ended on a cliffy, but I thought, for some reason, I told myself in my head, it's only a two-parter. So if I wanted to read the next book, this was a fairly quick read. So no problem. I could read the second one later. Then I found out, nope, it's not a two-parter. Uh, it's actually supposed to be a series of at least three, at least three at this time. And the third book has not even been published yet. So that's my my one and only challenge is oh, frustrating. I need closure.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

I wonder if that's why I didn't pick this book for the Fae month. Maybe I maybe I had read enough commentary to realize it was going to be a series. That could be. It's been so long since I've looked at it that yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

And it's on a pretty big cliffy. Yeah. Um, lots are lots of things are revealed, and you're like, oh, okay. And so there's that, but then you're like, no. Especially because new characters are introduced at the end, and you're like, uh, what? So yeah, anyway, uh final thoughts. This is a very nice romanticy romp with great potential if the series continues to hold up similarly. Similarly. Similarly. That's what I got.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

Oh, that was succinct. Uh, I'm gonna talk more than you on this one for sure. All right,

Meghan's Book: The Pretend Wife by Bridget Asher

SPEAKER_00 12:13

I had a book called The Pretend Wife by Bridget Asher. Mine is a little bit older than yours. Mine was 2009. Our leading lady is Gwen Merchant. She's been married for a few years to her husband, Peter. Even though she graduated from college with a degree, she's kind of been wandering from job to job. She hasn't really found something that speaks to her. Luckily, though, her husband is an anesthesiologist. So her lack of a solid career not negatively impacting quality of life. Gwen has a certain level of inner turmoil, I'd say. Her mom died in a tragic car accident when she was fairly young. And in fact, the accident could well have taken her life because she was in the car when it happened. Um, but luckily, a passerby, Good Samaritan, saw the car kind of go off this bridge and rescued Gwen from the water, because it was probably a river or something underneath, got her out before she drowned. But mom didn't make it. So obviously that's a formative incident in her life. And after the accident, Gwen's father was basically kind of like just in quiet mourning all the time. There just wasn't anything other than kind of this solid sadness. Gwen describes her childhood as lonesome. This is all really important to the overall plot as Gwen grapples with what love should look like and how she wants to interact with the world. And in the very first chapter, we are set up for what will become a potential love triangle featuring Gwen, her aforementioned husband, Peter, and a man named Elliot Hull. Gwen and Elliot dated for approximately three whole weeks back in college. Now.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

That's a lifetime in college.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Now, I wrote this specifically. Nicole, before you go eye rolling for how dumb that sounds. Feel attacked. No, no, I just know us very well, and that would be like my reaction too, right? So, anyway, before we go eye rolling at this potential precursor to home wrecking, I will add this. Gwen and Elliot met nearly the first day of college, and they were kind of in that, you know, freshman icebreaker activities kind of scenario. They've known each other the entire time. So even if they only really dated like the last three-ish weeks of college, they've known each other for four years previous. So I kind of took that as a more of a building friendship sort of thing. So, okay, they they broke up at the end of college. Gwen doesn't remember much about the breakup. She vaguely remembers being mad at him. They were drinking at a bar and she slapped him and then would not take any of his phone calls after that. She does not even really remember what the argument was. So it just ended super abruptly, done. So now we're years into the future. Elliot happens to stumble into this ice cream shop where Gwen and Peter have stopped for dessert. And after reintroductions, Elliot gets himself invited to a party that's happening later that night that Gwen and Peter will also be attending. At this party, Gwen starts choking on some sort of finger food. She basically says something in the book about not wanting to be at the party, so she might as well eat her way through it. And I'm like, I totally can identify with that. And then, of course, immediately starts to like choke on a kebab. So Elliot comes to her rescue, does the Heimlich maneuver, she's saved. Gwen's thought process after the incident, and I love this quote. Having nearly died, I decided to get even drunker. As one does. Right. The following sentence, Elliot and Peter got drunk along with me. Okay, so now all this drinking leads to a philosophical discussion, which by PS, Elliot is now a professor of philosophy at a college. We find out that Elliot's mother is in hospice and has just a few weeks to live. And he's told his mother a little white lie in order to help her feel more comfortable. Namely, he has told her that he is now married. Shocked. Shocked, I say. Yes. Elliot's mom has been worried that he's all alone in life. And after she dies, her greatest wish is that he has somebody there who can help comfort him, right? So he's like, no worries, ma, totally married. So of course, now before she dies, his mom is now requesting to meet this said wife. At this point, husband Peter gallantly suggests Gwen can just pretend to be your wife for a couple days, right? Like, hey, you saved her life. We owe you anyway, buddy. And remember, we're all trashed while talking. So you know how you talk big, you're like, we're gonna do this cool thing. Okay. So they're gonna try and help him out. Gwen only agrees after she finds out that this meeting would happen at Elliot's family lake house. And she's not agreeing because she wants to go to the lake house. She's agreeing because she confirms that there will be turtles there and she's excited to see the turtles. And I'm like, I'm like, again, that would be a me thing. I'd be like, wait, I'll come, but are there turtles? Okay. I could just I can see that being something that would would catch me, right? Okay, okay. So I love it. It's stupid, but whatever. So yeah, drunkenly they all agree this is brilliant off to the races. What could go wrong? Right, right. So what follows is Gwen spending several days with Elliot and his family, a lot of confused feelings, moments of self-awareness and acceptance that were probably a long time coming. Ultimately, some deep emotional breakthroughs for Gwen in regards to her relationship with her father and ultimately with her romantic future. I am not going to spoil anything with where she's landing on the fact that there are these two men in her life now. I will say a few things though. Initially, I didn't think I liked Gwen. I felt like there was something a little bit kind of disjointed, a little off about her and the way she was kind of floating through life. It seemed like maybe she was also realizing that she was more of an observer in her life and not necessarily fully committed, like an active participant. As she figured that out, and as I got more acquainted with her past and what shaped her, the more I was able to make peace with my disjointed feelings toward her. And although the writing itself didn't really wow me per se, there were some really beautiful sentences. And I highlighted quite a few things, not because I was irritated, but because I thought they were beautiful sentences. And you know that's that's very nice for me because a lot of times I'm just angry and I'm highlighting stuff that irritates me. Right. So that's where I'm gonna go with that. Last episode, I did not have a romance novel, I had chicklet because we could have gotten rid of the man in that book, and the book would have been fine. He did not make or break the book.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

And that was unintentional. It's not like you knew that was gonna be the case.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

Yeah, completely. Um I'm struggling with this one too. I also don't know that I would call this a romance novel. Really? Yeah, the way it is set up, it's really interesting. It's set up in thirds. So you've got part one, part two, part three, and they're all kind of different phases of her emotional connections and awareness and kind of how she's growing in that. You can't get rid of the men and still have a book, though. You know what I mean? And in Chicklet, it's like, well, he doesn't have to exist. You need these guys in order for this book to work. I just don't know that I would call it a traditional romance. And I think that that might bother some people who are looking for that formulaic girl meets boy. I I just feel like it's not the formula people are used to. And if you are expecting that, that's not what you're gonna get. And I do think that people may question some of the choices she makes and not particularly appreciate some of the things she does. But I thought a lot of it was very understandable when you get underneath everything that's going on emotionally for her. Yeah. All right. Couple quotes. She's talking about knowing how her father was a little bit cold when she was younger and how she felt that love was kind of doled out in little pieces. It wasn't something she could really get used to. And she kind of looks at the other relationships in her life and realizes she's probably been holding back. And she says, Once two people start cordoning parts of their own lives off from each other, it's hard to know where to stop. Yeah, that's valid. Uh she works for a uh an interior designer who comes in and redoes houses before they go on the market. And the interior designer is talking about how some houses you can just feel the vibe. And she says, sadness is palpable. I've seen houses so sad that I think the only cure would be to burn them down. Oof. Yeah. Oof. Yeah. Maybe just burn some sage up in there. There was also discussions of the way different people show emotion. And and again, some a little bit more reserved and some really out there. And she said, seeing the difference in two people, one who was a little bit more reserved and the other one who clearly was wearing their emotions on a sleeve. She said it was the difference between seeing a map and seeing the land itself. And I'm like, Yeah, again, that it that is such a great poignant sentence. And then I will leave you with one that I found really funny and I can get on board with. Gwen goes to parties maybe like every other week, every few weeks at a friend's house. And it's it's kind of an upscale fun party, hence early in the book, the terrible drinking decisions they had at the party. But she's trying to discuss the fact that one of the people at the party does uh I want to say maybe Dominatrix work in real life. And so somehow she ended up on the mailing list for this Dominatrix's services because she knows this person outside of that workplace. She just knows her from this party she sees her frequently. So she's like, I've always thought of Richard, our postman, handling the postcards in his Jeep and reevaluating us. Are we the perverts of his route? I kind of hope to be someone's pervert. I was like, I like it. Yeah. As someone who has worked for the post office before and has seen the kinds of things people get delivered.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

Or worked at family video back in the day.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

Yeah, and I also worked at a video store that had a back room. Yeah, it's interesting to see what people are into. And I love the fact she's like, I kinda hope we're somebody's perverts. Nice. And then I know we're not doing food this time around, we're doing sense. I didn't mark any sense this time around, but I didn't either. I didn't either for mine. I wish it were food because this is perhaps one of the grossest paragraphs of food. No. I gotta read it for you because this is Gwen's father, because she goes over every Sunday to have lunch with him. And this is these are the things he cooks. Tuna fish casseroles, grilled cheeses, watery tomato soup, fish sticks, mashed potatoes from boxed flakes, and bologna. On special occasions, around one of our birthdays, he'd make small eggy fried salmon cakes from the can. That was the sum of his repertoire.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

That's like my childhood summed up in like a paragraph.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

There's almost nothing in that I would eat without gagging.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

I mean, I like a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup, but not like me.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Grilled cheese is where I'm like, okay, I could survive on the grilled cheese, but I'm sorry. Fried bologna sandwich.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

Okay, but I oh god, we didn't even have fried bologna sandwiches when I was a kid, though. It was microwaved bologna sandwiches. And when you microwave the bologna, it makes like this little bowl on the breast.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

So nasty.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Girl, we were poor.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Like, what do you think? I am not judging that part. I am just looking at that food and thinking, like, that is so stomach-turning. I would eat toast. I would just there's no way. Okay, I have a thought. Just one, just one thought for this book. Okay. Yeah. Toward the end, when Gwen is trying to really finalize how she's feeling about life and relationships. The author created a scenario that would properly villainize one of the men. And I don't feel like it was necessary. Okay. Because I do feel like life is complicated and people don't need a villain in order to make a choice that's correct for them. And I I think that the villain, the the villainization of this male protagonist was made to comfort readers. I don't think it was made because Gwen needed it.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

Yeah. And and I think it was supposed to make the readers feel better about her decisions. I don't like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

But also I I also get I also get the angle. I get it.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

I get it. I get it. Like I read it and I was like, yeah, I mean, maybe me as a younger person would have wanted to see a villain one way or the other, so it made it more clear-cut why she made her decisions. I'm like, but I don't think that we needed it. Life is life is messy. Life is complicated and people don't always need to justify their decisions because it's what works for them. It's for sure. Maybe you would choose choose. So yeah. Right. That's what I got. What spice level? Green pepper, if that. There's there's a couple kisses. I mean, she talks about sex. Like she'll be like, oh, we had good sex, but there's no nothing beyond that. It's just like sex happens. Yeah. So I I would say green green pepper, maybe. It's not milk. Oh thank God. Yeah. There's that. But you know, in in all, would I recommend it? I wouldn't have early on. But the when I kept going back and looking at the things I highlighted, I think I changed my mind because I think it was a worthwhile exercise to read this book and especially because it was not set up in a traditional way. And I appreciate non-traditional, you know that about me.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

So yeah, absolutely.

Booby References And Scorekeeping

SPEAKER_01 27:09

Did you have a booby reference in your book?

SPEAKER_00 27:12

While I was trying to read this book, one of our newest listeners from Nebraska actually reminded me that I needed to look for my booby reference. And I had actually already highlighted it. And I sent him a picture, and his response was lame. You know, it happens. He's not wrong, right? Right. Right. This was Elliot trying to put a corsage onto the like the lapel area of a woman's dress. And uh he says something about a surge of confidence and how he's placing it. And then she responds on my bosom. That's it. Page 42. And and technically up at the top of page 42, um, he pinched the upper edge of my dress and then pulled it a modest inch away from my chest. So I've got chest and bosom, but they're both on 42, and bosom felt a little more solid. Meg, I want to tell you, you still beat me. Really? That's actually shocking.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

Uh, not that shocking.

SPEAKER_00 28:25

Um well, yours was a jalapeno and things happened. Mine was a green pepper, and things didn't really happen.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

To be fair, I may have missed an earlier boob reference. I was on vacation in Mexico. I was drinking a lot, a lot of Palomas and Michilavas.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

So Do you guys see why I have to be working on my liver right now? Do you see that? Don't even put that on me. I'm just saying, like, I keep up with you. We are both Wisconsin girls, and so I just need to make sure that I'm good to go. I'm not blaming you. I'm just showing them where I need to I need to rise to the occasions. Uh-huh. Never blame you.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

So my booby reference was page 129, as far as I can tell. If anybody out there has read this book and they're like, no, Nick, you totally missed it on page six, please tell me. But I don't think I did. The quote is My chest was rising and falling so rapidly that he lifted one hand to place it in the center of my breast.

SPEAKER_00 29:33

Nice. Ta-da. Both of them again. Not very sexy. We very rarely get a first breast reference that's actually sexy.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Yeah. Meh. There was from Savor it by Tara Towitt a few episodes ago. There was the whole breast reference where she had her nip ripped off. So I guess.

SPEAKER_00 29:55

Yeah. Yeah. I think I did that one. Because she taste. Yeah, I had to hold my boob. That just yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

That one stands out in my mind, like, of this whole season so far. That breast quote is still like in my head because it was so traumatic.

SPEAKER_00 30:12

No, I'm gonna I'm gonna stick to the fact that I had page one. That just that I I don't even remember which book that was. Isn't that terrible? It wasn't even one that was ultra sexy. No, I had had page two before, I think.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

I think I've had like page three. Page one was Pergola Worthy. It happened one summer by Tessa Bailey.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

That book. That was actually a really good one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:37

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Love it.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

Well, thank you to Tessa Bailey for giving Megan the all-time high score.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

We'll be reading more from that series because the little sister is also uh enmeshed with a gentleman from that town. And it was happening at the same time as what was going on in that book. So I gotta get to it.

SPEAKER_01 31:06

So

Mothers Of Romance Picks For May

SPEAKER_01 31:07

what do you have uh coming up for your first book of May for Mothers of Romance, Megan?

SPEAKER_00 31:15

Thank you for asking, Nicole. I have Barbara Cartland, which you usually say Barbara Cartland when you talk about her. I do Barbara Cartland. So uh I've got Bar Barbara Cartland, The Dawn of Love. It's a very sweet little cover. It's very historical romance. I will tell you why I picked this because this is some sort of retelling of um I said that and then I just lost my brain. Okay, hold on. It's my fair lady. Thank you. I'm like, all I can hear in my head is pig pygmalion. Pygmalion. All I can hear in my head is Eliza Doolittle. I'm like, that's not the name. That's not the name, Meg. Thank you. Yeah. So it's it's a retelling of My Fair Lady or Pygmalion. And I thought that just sounded like a fun way to start this. So The Dawn of Love. In 1913, shortly after the death of Edward VII, the social circle surrounding the Duke of Windlemere was one of a few fast sophisticated sets left. However, the Duke was bored. So when an argument broke out over the credibility of George Bernard Shaw's new play, Pygmalion, the Duke was pleased to take part in a week-long experiment to ascertain whether or not the idea of the play was even possible. The subject of the experiment was to be the niece of one of his friends. Lorena had been brought up in her father's country vicarage and, when her parents died, sent to the convent school in Rome. Lorena, pure, innocent, and with high spiritual ideals, has an unexpected effect on the Duke's friends and changes many of their lives, most especially that of the bored Duke.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

I need to look up um who Barbara Cartland's cover artists, singular or plural, used to be. Um, because they are such painterly-esque, like sweeping, beautiful covers.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

They're very lanky.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

They kind of remind me of like Yadro figurines, like a little bit, because everybody's always tall and lanky in all of her, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:31

Jacket, jacket painting by Frances Marshall.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

I'm gonna have to look Frances Marshall up and do do some more things. But I have a friend, Corey, who has a whole, like, I don't want to say obsession, but um a love, a passion for old romance covers that are very Barbara Cartland-esque, but like feature women wearing white. But they're in like stormy backgrounds with dark castles in the background, or or dark figures in the background, or dark forests, and then these women are always wearing white. And he's and it's not just Barbara Cartland novels, but they feature heavily with within that genre of those old painterly-esque like classic romance covers of that. And I think it's a really, really cool thing. And I always liked Barbara Cartlins covers. They also border on who is the artist that does like the big eyes.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

Yeah, I I don't know her name, but I've got plenty of those paintings in my house.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

A lot of Barbara Cartland's book covers used to have these big dough-eyed faces on the girls, and then in addition to the scrawny, skinny whatever, and the delicate features, and even the men were like always blanky and tall and skinny. Very, yeah, very key.

SPEAKER_00 34:51

Beyond the pretty cover, I need to just shout out how fabulously decked out she is on the back, and she's got like a little, it's not a peek-nees, maybe like a like what what kind of some sort of poo? I want to say a kakapoo or something. She's got this little white fluffy dog, and there's these Roman gold statues with flowers. I mean, it is it is the best of like glamour on the back here of this book.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Wasn't she um knighted by her majesty? Like it wouldn't surprise me.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

Pekinese, they're Pekinese. It is a Pekinese. Yeah. What I said first? I think I said a Pekinese, didn't I?

SPEAKER_01 35:32

I don't know. I think so.

unknown 35:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:34

It's Pekinese.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

It was hard to tell from here if it had a real squishon face or not.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

So Barbara Cartland, yeah, I think that was the other thing, right? Because you see these beautiful covers. And for you and I, being the Gen Xers that we are, these are like some of the initial um romance novels that I don't know about you, but these were the first ones that I was fed, if you will.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

I would have read ones like this, but I've never read any Barbara Cartland. This is brand new for me.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

Well, you're in for a treat.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

I picked, I picked authors that I had never read before on purpose because I feel like I need to get some of those earlier people that I haven't. So this one is copyright 1980.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

Okay, but that's the thing. You get these covers, and then on the back, you you always saw this dramatic author. And I'm like, what author today has photographs like that? Seriously. Yeah, she is a queen, she is reigning.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

It is glamour shots. Like it's so funny. I don't know that you can tell by looking at this because my camera's a little bit blurry, but there's actually a glow around her. The way they lit her up. There's like a little bit of backlighting and it gives like a halo effect, like this fuzzy kind of like it's not just my camera making it fuzzy. They specifically made her just look ethereal. So yeah, it's pretty great.

SPEAKER_01 36:59

Yeah, my aunt Ethel used to feed me those like candy in junior high. Uh, and I I just thought Barbara Cotland was the best Emma.

SPEAKER_00 37:08

I'm gonna guarantee that this is going to be rated milk. There's there's gonna be not a single space. I don't know. Sometimes she got a little bodice rippy. It's my fair lady, so I highly doubt it. You know what I mean? I'm just not seeing it. Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong, Barbara. All right. How about you, Nicole? What do you have for our first moths of romance?

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Well, I am going with the you know how who who wrote the one Dark of the Moon, Karen Robards? That was your first, right?

SPEAKER_00 37:43

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

Judith McNaught is my first.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Let me just stop. Not my first.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Oh, oh, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 37:49

The first that mattered.

SPEAKER_01 37:51

The first that mattered. Okay. I got this after Barbara Cartland. Okay, so I will say this is the first that mattered was Judith McNaught for me. I cannot remember if I read this one or not. So new to me, but I may have read it in the past. But it's until you. Um, it's a very mermaid-y cover with the little pearl and the seashell.

SPEAKER_00 38:14

That also looks very 80s to me. Like the Danielle Steele novels would have the same kinds of covers.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

I just I want to see. Oh, this is a 1994.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

Oh, that's the first time it was published?

SPEAKER_01 38:26

Quite contemporary.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

Wow. Look at you. Newfangled.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

Yeah, 1994. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:36

Wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 38:37

Okay. Returning to the story of the Westmoreland family. Number one, New York Times best-selling author Judith McNaught has written the novel her fans have been clamoring for since Whitney. My love, a marvelous tale that sweeps from the wilds of America to the elegant ballrooms of 1820s London, taking a beautiful, spirited girl on a glorious romantic adventure. A teacher in a school for wealthy young ladies, Sheridan Bromley is hired to accompany one of her students, heiress Sharice Lancaster, to England to meet her fiance. When her young charge elopes with a stranger, Sheridan wonders how she will ever explain it to Sharice's intended Lord Burleton. Standing on the pier, Stephen Westmoreland, the Earl of Langford, assumes the young woman coming toward him is Sharice Lancaster and informs her of his inadvertent role in a fatal accident involving Lord Burleton the night before. And just as Sheridan is about to speak, she steps into the path of a cargo net loaded with crates. Three days later, Sheridan awakens in Stephen Westmoreland's London mansion with no memory of who she is. The only hint of her past, the puzzling fact that everyone calls her Miss Lancaster. All she truly knows is that she is falling in love with a dazzling handsome English earl, and that the life unfolding before her seems full of wondrous possibilities.

SPEAKER_00 40:14

This is preposterous. I think I have read this one, but I'm excited to read it again. Oh my god. I'm excited to hear about it because this sounds ridiculous. Like I am here for it.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

I am praying. Praying that we get some nice quotables like breathe for Daddy Montgomery.

SPEAKER_00 40:37

Girl, you're gonna have some good quotables. I I'm sorry, they're there.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

And to be fair, that was Jude and Devereaux, but like I believe in Judith McNaught to give me some quotables.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

Judith McNaught just set up like the weirdest little set of dominoes where it was like, how do I get all these people into one room? Well, if I if I poke these here and I throw that here and one sinks over there, and then this one trips, and then yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll all work. That'll work.

SPEAKER_01 41:05

But also, no one could possibly accuse her of ever copying anyone else's work. Unlike some other authors that we've read in the past.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

It's so disjointed. She probably took a piece from all of them and just threw them in a bowl and saw what worked.

SPEAKER_01 41:21

No, she's like, let's write some ideas, throw them in a jar, shake them up, throw them out, and see what we get. Well, amnesia sounds great. Mistaken identity sounds great.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

Let's do it. Godspeed, lady, because yours sounds like it's gonna be a little bit more than a little bit. I'm excited than mine. I'm excited. Yeah, that's that's gonna be something. She's scared too. You know what? She's scared. Then I'm glad I go first next time around because I'm really looking forward to yours. I like to save the best for last. So I think mine's gonna be nice. I think it's gonna be sweet. But I think yours is gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 42:00

It could be sweet, or I I'm trying to remember my old Barbara Cartland readings. It could also be very outdated.

SPEAKER_00 42:07

Yeah.

unknown 42:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

With some with some tropes and motifs, if you will.

SPEAKER_00 42:12

In general, My Fair Lady is also, you know. Yeah. But that's okay. That's what we're here for. We're here to here to read some books. Drink. Yeah. Yeah. Most times. Most times we're here to drink. All right, kids.

Subscribe Review And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 42:29

Thank you for joining us tonight for Romance on the Rocks. Please like, subscribe, follow. And if you are a hopelessly romantic, bookish bitty like us, think about giving us a review on any of the places that you follow us because there are too many to list and I can't remember them all. So yeah, until next time, just stay safe and know that you are loved.