Behind the Curtain: Honest Conversations about Foster Care and Adoption
Each episode will feature a conversation between host Rebecca Harvin and foster/adoptive caregivers or members of the community who support foster care and adoption.
Behind the Curtain: Honest Conversations about Foster Care and Adoption
Tips and Tricks for Successful Road Trips
Rebecca Harvin and Courtney Studard share their hard-won wisdom on traveling with children of all ages, from essential packing strategies to entertainment tips that really work. We offer practical advice for making family travel more enjoyable, less stressful, and filled with meaningful memories rather than meltdowns.
• Start children traveling young whenever possible - they adapt quickly and become great travelers
• Lower your expectations dramatically - it's a trip, not a vacation
• Always have a designated driver and entertainer in the car
• Pack novel toys and activities, introducing a new one every 15 minutes
• Reserve special road trip snacks that kids don't get at home
• Prioritize movement at every stop with games and physical activity
• Always choose hotels with pools - this will be your children's favorite memory
• Pack a separate, single overnight bag for hotel stops
• Organize clothing by day or outfit to prevent car chaos
• Start with shorter trips and gradually work your way up to longer adventures
• View initial trips as training exercises for bigger adventures later
• Remember simple experiences often create the most lasting memories
Hey guys, thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of Behind the Curtain Honest Conversations about Foster Care and Adoption. I am your host, rebecca Harvin, and today we have none other than my good friend, co-worker and fellow travel enthusiast, courtney Studdard. We are going to be talking about all things road trips, how to travel with kids. We're going to do it from just kind of a basic thing, like you don't even need to be a foster or adoptive parent to be listening to this and get really good tips. And then I'm going to throw in a little bit of what do you do when your family is maybe a little bit more chaotic than other families? So we're just going to jump right in because we're both here. So, hi, courtney, hi, I am very excited. We have been talking about doing this for months actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we were doing another similar you know Q&A episode and we were like road trips let's do it, we can do this, we can rock the heck out of a road trip episode.
Speaker 1:So we're just going to jump right in with. We posted on our social media accounts hey guys ask us some questions and we got some really good questions. Take us to the first one, courtney.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's jump in and start with how young is too young to start traveling with kids?
Speaker 1:You got an answer.
Speaker 2:I do. There is no such thing as too young. The earlier the better. The better.
Speaker 1:From personal experience, Zoe's first road trip was at 11 days and that is from life experience. Like extenuating circumstances, I would not recommend 11 days old. Maybe that was too young, I would not recommend learning how to use a pump on I-10, like driving down I-10. However, I would say like baby.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think baby, I mean for one. They sleep more. Yes, Usually.
Speaker 1:Not all, but most.
Speaker 2:But yeah, but then they just like get the hang of it right off the bat. They're just used to being in a car, they're used to going a long distance and I will say we started both of our kids really young and now they're at the point where they get in the car. They don't really ask questions. There is no yes, are we there yet?
Speaker 2:they just get in and they ride. They know the ending is going to be great, and so they're just here for it. Our kids are just great travelers now, and I think it's because we started them young.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, it's 100%, because you started them young.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The other thing though, if you okay. So maybe your kids are like five and seven Right, or five six, seven, eight Right, or five six, seven, eight, as mine are, or like, and you didn't get a chance to start them young. We have opinions about that too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I think it's like a great like leads into like okay, I did, it sounds great, but I didn't have that choice. So now my kids are older, what do I do? And I think one of the questions we got is a great way to like lead into this conversation, which is like how do I choose trip distance? Like how do I decide how far to go?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would like to see you push your kids for one hour past what you think they can do in a car. I mean you might not know how far you if you can do like a two or three hour trip, like Jacksonville to Orlando was two and a half hours right. Almost everybody that I know can do a two and a half hour trip with their kids in the car.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So then you would go, you would look at it like okay, if two and a half hours is totally fine, four is probably fine.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Let's push for five or six.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like let's push for I mean that. What five or six that gets you to Atlanta?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's lunch to dinner. Right, Like it's just like we're just going to be in the car for the afternoon.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you stop. You stop for lunch. You can break it up a little bit. But yeah, I think that's totally doable for a first longer distance trip for kids.
Speaker 1:I do want to caveat and say that maybe you're looking and we're just going to do this from Jacksonville, right? So maybe you're looking at the map and you're like, oh, atlanta is five hours away.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Let the listener beware. Atlanta is not five hours away.
Speaker 2:Atlanta is never five hours away, first. Of all.
Speaker 1:And secondly, with kids in your car, it's not five hours away. Atlanta is never five hours away, first of all. And secondly, with kids in your car, it's not five hours away.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's a great point, because I think, like, definitely in the beginning we didn't really account for that right. We were so used to traveling, just the two of us. It was like we don't have to stop we just go.
Speaker 1:We can get to Virginia in eight hours, right, we don't need to stop, just hold it and go. But that is not a thing with kids. So so you're gonna go on a road trip this summer. Probably you didn't start your kids young, because you wouldn't really be listening to this if you did start your kids young.
Speaker 1:Because it probably wouldn't be a question it wouldn't be a question Like you would just be like no, we're avid travelers, we're avid road trippers, we know exactly what to do in the car and you're like going on. I'm assuming, listening to this, that road trips maybe are a little bit like intimidating, and so here's the thing that we really want you guys to understand you have to have the correct expectations for the. What is it, courtney? Is it a trip or is it a vacation?
Speaker 2:It is definitely not a vacation, it is a trip. Are there kids with you. It's a trip. It is absolutely a trip. So, yes, there are different expectations, if you're like used to vacationing you gotta this is not a vacation. No, you gotta lower those expectations.
Speaker 1:I mean, guys, take your expectations and lower them as low as you think that they can go, and then get a shovel and start digging.
Speaker 2:It sounds super depressing, but it's really. This is something I think I learned after the first trip we took with our first son. It was like that was awful and I realized it's because my expectations were high, that my expectations were what our vacations used to feel like. And now this is a trip and I didn't know what the difference was. And so the next time around I was like you know what I am going to really lower my expectations, pretty much really like not going to expect anything out of this. It's. This is doing life somewhere else. Right Like same. I'm doing the same things. I'm changing the diapers, I'm like still having a nurse, I'm doing all the same things, but I am doing this somewhere else With really good scenery.
Speaker 2:With really good scenery.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:The baby's still going to cry. Yep, we're going to have to take a lot more stuff now Like there's just you know, like there's things that you're like oh, this is different. And I think realizing that before you go is key and really going into it with like no expectations of it being like it used to be.
Speaker 1:Correct. There is one expectation, though, that you should have.
Speaker 1:And that is that at the beginning of teaching your kids how to road trip, so this will not be around for forever Courtney and I can get in the car and when I say this, I'm talking about with my two older kids. Courtney is talking about with her two kids and we can have a destination that is hours away and both of us can be sitting in the front seat on our respective trips reading a book. Yeah, we are not on anymore. We have done the work that I am about to tell you that you are going to do, which is that your one expectation when you are teaching your children how to road trip is that one person drives and one person is the entertainer.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. You always have to have an entertainer.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that is your job.
Speaker 1:It is your job. It is, that's it. I remember driving to Iowa this is the trip that I'm talking about when Zoe was about to turn three and Slade wasn't one yet.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And I was with my parents, and so my dad is a long distance truck driver, so nobody else is driving if my dad is in the car.
Speaker 1:And my mom is in the front seat and I thought, oh, their grandma is going to be here, so I will be fine, because Brad was back at home. No, she's up in the front seat talking to my dad the whole time. I'm in the back with the kids and I brought my books. I brought them all their library books and I brought my books and I brought my books. Like I brought them all their library books and I brought my books. And when we got to Iowa, brad and I were texting and I was like I didn't open my book one time.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:It's a 22 hour drive from Jacksonville to Iowa. I did not open my book and I was like, oh, okay, but my not yet three-year-old and my not yet one-year-old had a phenomenal trip to Iowa because I was the entertainer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think my advice for this one is like, choose the one that is not just going to ignore the kids flipping out in the backseat, because this is what, like, my husband is really good at just ignoring the chaos that's happening back there, and I'm like a nervous wreck if I'm driving because he's not giving them the snacks that they're asking for, right.
Speaker 1:So like, choose the one that's actually asking for snacks and they're like no, it's not time, it's time. Oh, it's time, it's time it's always time in the car. Always, it is always snack time, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:Abandon those rules Like, it'll make the trip more exciting for kids. It is always snack time in the car, but choose the one that's actually going to give out the snacks. That's correct. That's going to give out the activities that actually is going to entertain.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay. So activities in the car for smaller kids yeah, and this is different, different ages, different. So let's do like five and under Okay, I'm going to the Target dollar section. I'm going to the dollar store yeah. I'm going to Walmart or Amazon, yeah, and getting things like new coloring books with a brand new pack of crayons.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:There's like peel and reuse sticker things. Melissa and Doug have some, you told me about the sticker.
Speaker 2:Yes, like they're like seek and find sticker books. And they are amazing for car trips.
Speaker 1:Okay, every kid in my car has a cookie sheet.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So every single kid has like their own cookie sheet that is magnetic, so you can get magnetic things. This serves as their lunch table, this serves as their activity tray, this serves as all kinds of things.
Speaker 2:They can do.
Speaker 1:Play-Doh on this and I have an activity bag Like we pack. Oh, there's like a really fun doodle pad that you can get two for ten dollars on amazon. If you just literally search doodle pad amazon on amazon, it will come up?
Speaker 2:are you talking about the ones you like you draw on and then you like push a button in and it erases.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, those are a great car, love that um, I'm not putting educational stuff in this bag. I mean people might, they might put like flashcards or stuff. My kids are not interested in this.
Speaker 2:I mean again, you know your kid. If your kid like, loves a good educational activity book, great.
Speaker 1:I might put a road trip, seek and find like a road trip scavenger hunt yes, like bingo card in there scavenger hunt.
Speaker 1:Yes, like bingo card in there. Um, I have met parents who have done incredible things with like matching the state to like or, you know, having different things that they're going to see in different ones and they pull out, okay. So we have pipe cleaner, a gigantic bag of pipe cleaner. You might have like googly eyes in there. Um, like tactile things, yeah, okay, huge win on one of my trips Also. Um, in addition to the cookie trays, each kid gets an uh, ice tray.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Um, this is, and it comes in so handy. Um, but I gave them clothes pins and fuzz balls and an ice cube tray, you got to use the clothespins to move them.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's great.
Speaker 1:It's great. Yeah, they obsessively did this thing for a long time.
Speaker 2:I think the key here is, no matter what the activity is, that it is something that is new to them. So this isn't something that you pull out of the house that they play with every day.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:It is stuff that they have not seen, and you can even like reuse it on road trips, like you're not saying buy something new every time, but like don't. Then after the road trip let them have it at home. It goes away for the next road trip.
Speaker 1:It is only for road trips. Yes.
Speaker 2:So there will be things in there that they are so excited about that the next time a road trip comes.
Speaker 1:They're like oh, my god that thing again cordy, we have not talked about this.
Speaker 2:You and I both do the same thing yeah, I mean, you can't like you got to give them things. They're excited about things that are new because then that helps them learn to love road trips and it gives them a pattern for the road trip. Yes, Right Known expectations.
Speaker 1:Yeah, known expectations and when you, when you have like, fully completed your known expectations, you will have good travelers.
Speaker 2:You will.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Every single time. Okay, so the other thing with activities that I do very well actually with the younger kids is there's a new activity every 15 minutes. Like you have to, you need a 15 minute timer. You are not, you cannot blow through.
Speaker 2:All of the things in the first 15 minutes. Thank you, yes.
Speaker 1:But every 15 minutes. Here's the other thing I do. You don't get jacked until you have. We have gone the length of time and I think you do this different.
Speaker 2:We do.
Speaker 1:Um, you don't get anything until you've gone the length of time I know you can do in a car. So if we're driving around Jacksonville that could be an hour. You can do an hour, no problem.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we do. We usually leave really early in the morning, so our rule is always like you don't get anything until the sun comes up.
Speaker 1:So like if it's dark, you're not getting anything Right?
Speaker 2:You can like close your eyes and you can rest, but when the sun comes up, that's when you can get an activity. We're about an hour away from the Georgia state line. I mean, I didn't say we normally cross it.
Speaker 1:But yeah, that's great, that's our like. If we're not in a different state, it's not a road trip. Yet. And then we're like are we in Georgia, yet Are we in Georgia yet Are we in Georgia?
Speaker 2:yet? Of course, right, that's the marker.
Speaker 1:So the other thing is with snacks, like we have novel snacks on a road trip. We have, and we have very specific, only road trip. Harvins are not buying a Nutter Butter unless we are on a road trip.
Speaker 2:I mean again, this makes them really excited because they know they're going to get these snacks that they're not allowed to get at home. It's going to be something they love and never get. And it's novelty.
Speaker 1:Yes, now I have done this two different ways and I prefer the second way that I'm going to do it. Okay, oh no, now I have done this two times, two different ways, and I prefer the second way that I'm going to do it Okay. Oh, I've no. I've done this three different ways. One is like no thought whatsoever goes into it, there's just a snack bag.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's how I do it.
Speaker 1:Eat your food, yep, um, and in the snack bag. Obviously we're going to have simple carbs, we're going to have something healthy, we're going to have protein.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:The second way is with those ice cube trays and I've had kids who like love this. Where you in the front divvy up the snacks into these like little compartments.
Speaker 2:Yes, people do this with like tackle boxes. They like take these plastic tackle boxes and do snacks instead.
Speaker 1:So if you didn't care about space in your car and you wanted to do a tackle box for each one of your kids be my guest. Um, that worked, but it caused a gigantic mess, as you would imagine.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, they're trying to get snacks out of tiny little.
Speaker 1:Well I'm doing, yeah, but it's, and then they're it's on their cookie tray. But little well I'm doing yeah, but it's, and then they're it's on their cookie tray, but then it gets dropped. Yeah or like whatever. Right, I've never been fancy about the way we do snacks. Okay, I'm obsessive about it now. Okay, well, one because I have six kids. Well, yes, um two because it freaking worked, okay, I the ice cube tray or no, a whole new.
Speaker 2:This is my method and this is.
Speaker 1:I am like I am here for it. Let's see, I go to Costco. I get the gigantic like mega, whatever things like the industrial size snack things right.
Speaker 2:You don't want to run out of snacks. That is a disaster, Absolutely not.
Speaker 1:And then I go and get the little, teeny, tiny sandwich snack, snack, sandwich bags and I do every single snack into one of those bags. And then when I pack my bags, I think you need to know, like, where things are in a car. You need to be able to reach and know what you're doing.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:So in my snack bag that sits in the front seat, not in the back seat, goes to all of these individual snack bags. So I'm passing out. They don't get the whole gigantic Costco size thing. They get one little bag and it's like enough. Yeah, it's because it satisfies the craving for a snack or the boredom. They can choose lots of different things. I've got a whole entire bag of small snack things. Does that make sense? It makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yes, this is great for larger families. I've always been able to buy the individually, but that's because I only have two. With six, that is not an affordable option. So, we're talking big bulk bags made small.
Speaker 1:Made very small. And then you are also portioning out the sweet treat candies, right? So I'm not just throwing into the bag.
Speaker 2:With no idea how much one kid has eaten.
Speaker 1:Thank you. I'm like oh, you want gummy worms, no problem.
Speaker 2:And no one can say so-and-so, ate more. That's not fair, no they didn't. Y'all got one bag. I counted how many gummy worms went into that bag. Thank you, it's five.
Speaker 1:In summary. Of snacks, I would say pack it, however, works for your family, but make sure that you have something in that that is comforting to them Things you know, they love, they eat at home um, novel snacks that they would be so excited about, and then road trip snacks, that this food signifies I am on a road trip yeah um, okay, what's next?
Speaker 2:okay, so now we gotta talk about moving those bodies.
Speaker 1:Ooh, yes.
Speaker 2:So when the car stops, the kids need to be moving.
Speaker 1:Yes, 100%. What do you do?
Speaker 2:Well, again, I think I'm at the stage now where my kids don't necessarily like right, like they're like I don't really want to stop, I just want to get there. So they're going to ride longer. But when they were young, I mean, it was always like one maybe not doing fast food stops for lunch, but stopping, like if we packed a lunch in the car and then stopping at a rest stop or something that has grass you know.
Speaker 2:So then we're getting out sitting at a picnic table and just letting them run. We did this multiple times when the kids were young. We would stop at these rest stops instead of choosing, like a gas station or fast food. It was like intentionally packing something for lunch, stopping and just letting them run in the grass and till we got back in the car.
Speaker 1:I think intentionally packing something is really key. Well, I think.
Speaker 2:I think it's. I mean it saves. It saves you money, um, and then it does provide opportunity to actually like stop to stop and or to make up time on the road.
Speaker 1:Yeah, either way.
Speaker 2:Either way, you see it right, like at the stage our kids are at now. Yes, it saves time because now we just can just drive and making sandwiches in the front seat of the car.
Speaker 1:Right, you're eating them in the back seat and we're just driving.
Speaker 2:But but when they were younger, it allowed time to like oh, we have to stop, we've got food already, let's stop, let's have a picnic. Yes, let the kids run.
Speaker 1:Yes. So I want you guys to like really hear me say better to have a longer travel day.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Because you had intentional stops in here for the kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Then to push it, push, it push it. And have your family fall apart.
Speaker 2:Yes, I agree, Because then you're going to arrive at your destination and it's probably going to be closer to that time where they should should be going to bed and they're not going to be tired Because they didn't move their bodies. Right, they're going to be frustrated, they're going to be just super grumpy, but they're not going to be able to rest because their bodies have so much energy still.
Speaker 1:Yes. So rest areas are great At gas stations. I mean before we like when we know that we're going to get to a gas station. So 15 minutes before we are going to be at a gas station I am telling kids find your shoes, yes. Hey guys, find your shoes. Hey, does everybody have shoes on their feet? Do you know where your shoes are? Because I don't know how shoes get lost in a car.
Speaker 2:No, but they do, they absolutely do.
Speaker 1:And so, literally 15 minutes ahead of time, I'm like find your shoes, because the second this car stops, you are getting out of this car. We're going to go use the bathroom. Everybody has to use the bathroom, no matter what. Every single time, yeah, and we, every single time, yeah, and we are doing I mean, hey, do you think you can jump from that spot to this stuff? And I? It is a game again. You are the entertainer, so everything about this is super fun, and it's a super fun game. Like what do you think? Do you think that you can like, like, walk like a big, scary giant, all like, whatever you're gonna do, you're gonna make it like. This is also, um, if you follow seat belt laws in every state, which you should, which you should, um, this is also when the kids get access to your body yeah and that is really, really, really important on a road trip, especially if you have young kids.
Speaker 1:They need access to your physical body, so you're playing with them and this is going to feel super silly, like it's going to be like yeah, if I was just on a road trip with a friend or my husband, we would run in, we would grab some like candy and a soft drink, go to the bathroom and like get back in the car. No, you're like doing lunges, you're doing squat, you're doing jumping jack contest.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:You are racing, you're doing sprints, you're doing all kinds of things, and if you're not doing it with the kids, you are actively facilitating movement for the kids.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think the other thing we used to do, if we could like, depending on where we were going, I would always try and find some like kid friendly place and make it part of the trip, right like, uh, whenever we'd go to the mountains, we'd try and like just find somewhere cool along the way that we could stop and get out, whether it was like a children's museum, you know. Whatever it is, obviously it's going. You have to account for that time.
Speaker 2:It's going to make the day longer, but again it makes it part of the trip and it gives them time to move their bodies and get some of their energy out, and they love it, yeah, and it's also like maybe we only have four hours till we get to.
Speaker 1:In Wyoming we went to a dinosaur museum.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Oh, we just have four hours to the dinosaur museum and then after the dinosaur museum we've got two hours left to the place that we're going.
Speaker 2:And what I will say is I think even now those are some of my kids' favorite parts of the trip Would be like those random stops we made along the way, that really just were trying to get their energy out, but it became their favorite part that's what they would love. They loved the most and that's what they would tell you yep.
Speaker 1:So in the same vein of moving their body, I need you to pick a hotel with a pool yes, I mean this is great.
Speaker 2:This is like another question we've gotten right about. Like how do I set it up for success? Like what do? What do I do? And I think Pick a hotel with a pool.
Speaker 1:Pick a hotel with a pool. Pick a hotel with a pool. Like I cannot it is free entertainment. I cannot stress this enough. You're already paying for the hotel.
Speaker 2:You're not gonna pay more for a hotel with a pool. You're really not.
Speaker 1:Pick a hotel that you know that when you get there your kids can put on a swimsuit and they can go into the pool.
Speaker 2:Yes, and again, this will be one of their favorite memories from the trip. Favorite yeah, you can honestly pick a great hotel and not really have to plan much else. If you pick a great hotel that has a pool, they're probably just going to want to stay there the whole time.
Speaker 1:Courtney, you are not telling any lies, right now there have been trips where the thing that my kids talk about afterwards is like oh, do you remember that like amazing pool that we were in in Lincoln, nebraska?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, one of my kids still to this day is like oh mom, do you remember that super fancy hotel that had that pool, that was like up on the roof and the TV said welcome Courtney. When we got there? I'm like that was the thing.
Speaker 1:That was the truth that made it really fancy.
Speaker 2:It made it his favorite place he's ever stayed and I'm just like, really, that's it, that's all it took Probably the cheapest place we've ever stayed, but it's his favorite.
Speaker 1:So really think simple, the simple things are what are going to make them happy, yeah.
Speaker 2:It might drive you crazy at the end if you've planned this like elaborate vacation. And then they're like the pool.
Speaker 1:I love that pool, man, that pool was so good. Yeah, you got to think like kids, right? Like I remember the first time that we were at the Tetons and we were from the Tetons you can do a day trip into Yellowstone and we were in the middle of Yellowstone and my kids and we just had Zoe and Slade at the time they were like can we just go back to the lake at the Tetons? I was like guys, you were in Yellowstone, which I've got opinions about Yellowstone, and they were being informed that day. But they were like we just want to swim.
Speaker 2:It is so simple.
Speaker 1:Kids just want to swim.
Speaker 2:They do. We've taken all these trips and tried to plan all this stuff and we cancel a lot of it because the kids just want to play in that creek and move rocks, that's what they want to do.
Speaker 1:Yes, and because this is a what is it Trip, not a vacation, and what you're working on is really good family memories. The location doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:It doesn't they really? They're going to remember who was there. I mean that at the end of the day, they're going to remember that their family was there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so when I'm making my day and I'm organizing the amount of driving that we're going to do, I'm intentionally stopping somewhere between, like after six o'clock at night but before eight o'clock at night, but before eight o'clock at night. Okay, and this is different than was just Zoe and Slade, because again we're in different stages of travel right. Zoe and Slade can drive to Wyoming no problem, and we're going to book it.
Speaker 1:We're going to do 15 hours one day, 13 hours the next day. But with our younger kids, who are not quite road trip savvy yet, we've learned like if we get eight, nine, 10, 10 hours, 10 hours is a really good day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that would be right now.
Speaker 1:That's we're starting at six o'clock in the morning and then it's really like 12 hours by the time that. 12, 13, 14, but you've done 10 hours of driving distance.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, it took you 12 hours to do 10 hours, but yeah, like that's again, that's what you have to expect.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Then you're stopping at a hotel at seven or eight o'clock at night because it's going to A take your kids a long time to wind down in that hotel. Yes and B. They need to get into the pool.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And probably you need to get into the pool with them because, again, this is when they can touch your body.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I need you here.
Speaker 1:Their physical touch tanks are really low at this point and you have this expectation. Remember in your head that you are the entertainer You're still you are not off. You are not off the entertainment until you have reached your destination, and so I will do things like stay up way late in a hotel room reading a book on my Kindle after everybody has gone to sleep, because I have not had any time yet to myself all day long.
Speaker 1:It doesn't stop at a hotel, like you would want them to be able to go do their own thing, and I have just found that that's not true yet, and so I'm in it. I'm in the pool, I'm doing the snacks and I'm organizing all of the things still.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's great to know when I'm on this trip. If it's two days, if it's like driving that split up into two days, then I'm just on for two days and after the kids fall asleep, that's going to be my time.
Speaker 1:That's correct.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's going to be my break time, but when the but for the rest of it, I'm on. I am entertaining.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Hopefully you know you have a spouse that can jump in and take some of the entertainment role.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's dad's time, yeah.
Speaker 2:Dad's time is the pool, maybe that's how it goes in my family.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you get dad in the pool. Yes, that's his time.
Speaker 2:Okay, so talking stopping at a hotel this is, the trip is not over. We're not at our destination. You've picked a great hotel with a pool to stop at. You're giving them time to swim, but there's also some packing methods that go into this stuff.
Speaker 1:Girl.
Speaker 2:yes, this is important. This is important.
Speaker 1:This is so important. And again, courtney and I did not talk about this beforehand. We both do the same thing. So savvy road trippers. What do they do? Courtney and I did not talk about this beforehand, and we both do the same thing. So savvy road trippers. What do they do, courtney?
Speaker 2:They pack a separate hotel bag? Yes, and how many bags is it?
Speaker 1:One.
Speaker 2:It's just one bag. It's one bag.
Speaker 1:I do not care the size of your family, Do not come at me with. But my family is big. Do not Do not come at me with that. I have eight people in my family. We pack in one carry on bag.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, and I have four and we do it in a backpack, right, Like so. It's one bag and it just has the things that you need to For the hotel For that one night. So bathing suit for the pool.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Something to sleep in.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:And a pair of clothes for the next day.
Speaker 1:Yep, you can either put your cosmetics and toiletries into your hotel bag or, as Courtney and I both do, we pack them separately.
Speaker 2:It's just like a toiletry bag that has everyone's stuff in it and it goes into the hotel because you're also going to need it when you get to your destination.
Speaker 1:Yes, so we're rolling up Griswold style right to the hotel and all of us pile out of this clown car. We're just taking one bag. Yeah, you're not. We're opening the trunk and that bag is very easily accessible in the back. It's right on top. It's right on top, man, and I promise you, do this one time and you will never go back.
Speaker 2:Never. I mean, we didn't do this when our kids were young, it wasn't on my radar. So this is like more recent to me, where I'm like huh, I don't need to pull all of our suitcases out of the trunk, I'm going to pack this one bag and all the dirty clothes that they, you know, wear at the hotel go back into that bag and we never have to touch it again.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's correct, packing in a car. This is another like huge thing. I mean there's like basic packing tips and tricks, right, like you can, if you need to conserve space, pack things into gallon size Ziploc bags and squeeze it down Boy Scout style and like roll all of the air out and compress it and get it like really low. You really can do this. I have a new method. Okay, I have a new method. Okay, my method is to pack for my family by day of the trip.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I started doing this and this is with eight kids. So like six kids, eight people, it changes the dynamic of what needs to be done. The organization that has to go into a road trip actually takes a lot of effort here.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Because what you do not want is a kid going into the back of the car looking for something and throwing everything all around the car. I would lose my mind, yeah.
Speaker 2:Making a mess of everything that's packed. I mean, I think you're saying this is great for bigger families, but I have a similar method of just like their. Their outfits have always been just rolled together right like it's like shirt, shorts, underwear and they're rolled together and that's so.
Speaker 1:Then they know they can just grab a roll.
Speaker 2:This is yes like it doesn't matter which one they grab, but they just grab a roll of clothes and it's all there and the same with their pajamas, right like it's the pants and the shirt rolled together and they're.
Speaker 1:They just grab one yes, and they need it. So this is what I did with zoe and slade on a teton trip yeah and when it was just the four of us, because I didn't want them having to go through everything in the tent well, yeah, in a tent or just in general, like they're not like dumping everything out of the suitcase, and then you can't tell what's clean and what's dirty, because it's all just on the floor.
Speaker 2:now, you know it just it's more organized. It keeps it neater.
Speaker 1:Yes, on that New York Philly DC trip. Yeah, I packed in four cubes for the entire, four crates on the back of the car for the entire family. Yeah, plus hotel bags. So the hotel bags were carry-ons that went into the back. We we did this in a Highlander, an eight seater Highlander with car seats in the Highlander, Really, really every single ounce of space was utilized.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So we had a cargo thing on the back and I had four bins and each bin inside of each one had I actually had to go buy space saver bags for this one, like where you have to, like vacuum out the air.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they also sell ones that you don't have to have a vacuum, where you can just sit on them and the air comes out of them.
Speaker 1:Yes, I bought both for this trip. So the bigger ones have to be vacuum sealed because I put eight people's worth of clothes into one of those bags and so in the bins each bag held one full day and they were organized by day, by activity that we were doing that day, based off of the city that we were in and what the weather said that it was going to be that day. You guys, I reached whatever the status is on Super Nintendo of like the most amazing.
Speaker 2:You did. I mean because you had every day planned out, so that was one. And this is the thing. Like some trips, you have to be more organized, like that, where every day is planned out. So it's best, if you like, organize your clothes that way Some trips are. You don't really have planned activities, it's just kind of whatever and you can be, more like I'm just going to roll clothes together. So, really go, based on what your trip is going to be like.
Speaker 1:What your trip is going to be like. But no, it is always best to have your clothes organized and to have pre-thought out the outfits yes for for your kids. This will save you so much time. Yes, if you are not going to do this, then inside the luggage it needs to be like underwear goes in the bottom left corner of the right side. You know what I mean. Like something that's very um easy for your kids to know exactly where underwear is going to be.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Where socks are going to be, where shirts are going to be, like how your suitcase is organized, actually really does matter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think the same way the activities and the snacks that you pick signify like this is a trip yeah, if you do it the same way every time, it doesn't really matter what your system is, but just like find your system, what works for you, and then your kids know that system, and then your kids know that system.
Speaker 2:So I think the last question we really got was how do I pick the destination when there are so many good options, which this one was interesting to me, because I guess I don't really. That's not a holdup for me. I guess we just got to do more trips.
Speaker 1:There's so many good places.
Speaker 2:We just got to keep going, keep going.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do go back to some locations, we do go back.
Speaker 2:You get back to Utah, we do have our usual spots we go back to, but every year we kind of throw in a new one and then we're going back to the old ones too, to the old ones too, yeah. But I think where I would kind of like to start with answering this one is like your first couple of trips, I don't know that the destination matters so much and I would say, do not spend a lot of money on these first couple of ones, because again it's a trip, yeah, and this goes with like lowering your expectations. Yeah, money corresponds goes with like lowering your expectations.
Speaker 1:Yeah, money corresponds directly to your expectations.
Speaker 2:And you are going to be angry if you spend a lot of money on this trip that turns out a disaster. I have spent a lot of money on a trip and my kids liked the pool at the hotel you know, like more than anything. That's what they liked and I'm like we spent all this money doing this, this, this and this, and that's the thing you remember and I think again, lower your expectations.
Speaker 2:They are kids, think like a kid you don't have to spend a lot of money for your kids to have good memories, and I just think it's like best if, in the beginning, when we're figuring out this whole road trip thing, just spend less money. Don't go big, just do something small. Your kids are going to be just as happy.
Speaker 1:I love that and while you were talking, I was like you know, what you really need to do in your brain is think about these first couple trips as training exercises.
Speaker 2:Right, this isn't the big thing You're training.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is all that we're doing, so success looks different here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like don't plan your dream vacation. I guess is what this is Okay.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about this, because there was like a night that I was just brain rotting on the internet and it led me to, as my internet searches often do, wonderful trips to take or whatever. Like I will find myself lost in trips all the time I will plan random, doesn't matter trips, but there's an Instagram person that I follow, influencer Helene. In between, she and her husband are avid travelers and she did the cotswold walk okay last year yeah and my brain just started like chewing on this, like, oh, I think that there's other walks.
Speaker 1:I've had friends who have done the camino. I've I've had like whatever. So I start searching it up and there's a walk through the Dolomites.
Speaker 2:Beautiful.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, yeah. And I am looking and looking at, like I just am, like I'm lost in this idea of the Dolomites.
Speaker 1:And then I go wait a second, this is possible. This is like actually possible. Zoe's going to graduate from high school in three years. I'm like, looking at the cost, I'm like the really the expensive thing is the plane ticket, which. But like hiking the Dolomites, I'm looking, I'm like it's like 700 bucks a person or something like that, like for this trip. This is phenomenal and this idea starts developing in my head of I can do this, we can do this, yeah. But what is necessary and this is where I'm going with this In order to hike the Dolomites in three years and for it to be successful for my children, who love a road trip and who love to travel but who do not like to hike, I have to teach them how to hike.
Speaker 1:So we are starting now and the first couple times we're literally going to go to somewhere in Georgia or North Carolina. We're going to stay at a hotel or an Airbnb or whatever and we're going to do day hikes, but they're going to be more strenuous. I'm going to make my kids wear their pack. Ari, I just had their huge sale. We just got like that was like step one buy backpacks. We're going to need them in three years.
Speaker 1:Step two hike for two hours, because in three years we're going to need to hike for hours on end. Step three like you, just break this down what you want your kids to be able to do. Eventually, I want my kids to be able to drive cross country and have a good time doing it. Step one drive two hours away.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, and my entire job there is to make that trip pleasant.
Speaker 2:Right. Make the drive there enjoyable.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's not so much about where you're going or what you're doing when you get there, but it's just like making the whole experience enjoyable. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1:Step two add more time to that, make that pleasant. Step three, like you?
Speaker 2:know what.
Speaker 1:I mean. So, when you're picking your destinations, I'm not necessarily picking this destination as much as I'm picking a future destination, and working towards that.
Speaker 2:Yes, you're setting a goal of like. Ultimately, I want to be able to do this with my kids, so what do I have to do now to make that?
Speaker 1:happen. Yeah, Just take it and you go. Okay, here's this big goal that we have that will unify our family. Yeah, and in adoption it was like oh, we have to, we have to start these kids on national parks. We haven't, they haven't done national parks with us, and there's, this is a way to incorporate them into our family's DNA.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We are a family that travels.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We are a family that goes to national parks. We are a family that goes to national parks. We are a family that goes to baseball stadiums.
Speaker 1:And like so doing that with the kids is a really great way of incorporating DNA. But I would say, like one of the ways that you narrow this down is you have is think bigger than this trip and think like what do I want to give my kids in their childhood and how can I incorporate that into our summer vacations, our spring break vacations, our fall vacations, like whatever vacations you're taking? How can I incorporate what I want to give them in their childhood?
Speaker 2:Those are great ways to pick destinations and I would just say, like, don't let all the options overwhelm you to the point where you just don't go. Just pick something. Put all the names of the places you think you might want to go in a bowl and pick one. Don't let it keep you from doing it. There's always going to be more places to go. I mean there are so many good options, but that can't stop you from getting started.
Speaker 1:And then you could also put on Facebook or Instagram. Hey, I'm trying to decide between these two places. Has anybody ever gone to any of them?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then the great thing about that is you're going to have like people that are like oh yes, and you have to do this this and this Like yeah, so find friends or people you know that have gone places that have looked like fun and just ask about it and you can have a whole trip planned by somebody else that has already done it.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, and that's the best. It is the best.
Speaker 2:Yeah, follow along. Yes, absolutely, I love it.
Speaker 1:Okay, last question, then, and we can both take a turn at this what is in your top five? So it doesn't have to be your favorite, but what is in your top five. So it doesn't have to be your favorite, but what is in your top five, either place that you've been to or memory that you have of a road trip with your family, like of actually being in the car or just like favorite trip. Favorite trip, favorite yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh man, this is always hard for me to pick pick. The kids actually asked me this recently. Like we were talking about, you know, all of the places we've gone, and they're like, what's your favorite? Like, oh, I couldn't pick one favorite, but I really think um, in my top five for sure is a trip we took we got in the car, drove up to North Carolina. It was kind of last minute. It was like our first real backpacking trip with the kids. David and I had done a lot of backpacking trips where we're covering a lot of ground and this is one where, like, we really hiked less than two miles to get where we were going and we stayed there for two nights and that was still just one of my favorites, I think, because it was simple. That was still just one of my favorites, I think, because it was simple and where you end is like the most beautiful 360 degree mountain views with like beautiful wildflowers just growing all the way down the mountain that you just climbed up.
Speaker 1:Is this the place that you posted about on Instagram the other week?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like it's just still one of my favorite places. You're hiking through wildflowers to get to the top of this, like you summit it. It's a pretty hard last bit of hiking because it's straight up this mountain, but it is the most beautiful place, but it's also just so simple. Backpacking is always one of my favorite things and I think it's the simplicity of everything that I need is on my back, um, and you just learn like I don't really need that much. I've got clothes and I got food and water. Just everything I need is right here and that's always been so simple to me. So any trip like that is up there. What about you?
Speaker 1:It's so hard. We've done so many things and been to so many places and have so many good memories. What I love now is this stockpile of memories that Zoe and Slade have specifically are starting to get where they'll say they'll see something. What I love so much oh my gosh, I cannot even tell you how much I love this is when they see something in real life and they go oh, I've been there. Yes, If they see the arch right. Yeah, or if they see they call the Tetons the high mountains.
Speaker 1:But if they see a picture the high mountains like the high mountains. If they see a skyscraper in New York City, they'll go oh, I've been. I know this, I've been there. I love it when Zoe says do you remember the salsa we had in Moab? I'm like I do remember that salsa from that Mexican restaurant just outside of town in Moab, utah.
Speaker 1:I absolutely remember it and she's done that since the first time she did. It was and this is hilarious about a Five Guys burger in DC Okay, when she was six years old yeah. And when she was like. She was like seven or eight and she was like Mom, do you remember that hamburger that we ate in DC? That was so good. And I was like she was like seven or eight and she was like mom, do you remember that hamburger that we ate in DC? That was so good.
Speaker 2:And I was like it's five guys, man.
Speaker 1:Like five guys is delicious, but my favorite trip of all time would have to be our three weeks in 2020. That Brad and Zoe and Slade and I did. We were on the road for 21 days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that.
Speaker 1:Brad and Zoe and Slade and I did. We were on the road for 21 days, yeah, and had an incredible. Every single thing about that trip was incredible and that's when I knew officially that we had really hit our stride with road trips we were in the car for. We were driving around in the car for 21 days and we only had four bad hours. That's amazing. It was incredible, yeah, and I learned so much about my kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And my kids have so many memories like stockpile. It was just a yes trip. Yeah, it was our first break in foster care in three years. We came home and got our now adopted kids four days after we came home from that trip. So it's our last, like it's this little pocket that we have. That is just kind of untouchable.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's an incredible memory and I am so, so, so glad we did that trip.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's awesome. So so glad we did that trip. Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, I think that's why road tripping is so cool, because you do learn different things about your kids than you see in day-to-day life. Right, most of the things that I know about my kids now are from trips we've taken.
Speaker 2:Parts of their personality come out that you don't always get to see, and they just start to learn things that they love, and maybe they didn't even know they loved them before, but you know they. They just are learning new things all the time and I don't know. I also think it's interesting that we both named the really simple parts of our trips, because those really are where the best memories, I think, are made.
Speaker 2:It's in those like slower moments of the trip where things are just simple and kind of peeled back and you get to really see your kids and see what makes them light up, and I love that about traveling.
Speaker 1:Yes, so much, so much. Yes, right there. Okay, if you have any questions, if you have any problems that you need us to solve, like help you solve or brainstorm or anything like that Courtney and I are here and we love talking road trips, so, yeah, reach out to us. All right, all right.
Speaker 2:See you guys later. Yeah, this was fun.