Aging with Purpose and Passion

Stories We Carry: Jackie Tantillo - Motherhood, Memories and Meaning

• Beverley Glazer • Episode 115

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How do the stories of our past shape who we become? In this episode of Aging with Purpose and Passion, host Beverley Glazer talks to Jackie Tantillo, veteran broadcaster and host of Should Have Listened to My Mother, to explore the deep, lasting impact of maternal influence on our lives.

Jackie, the youngest of seven in an Italian-American family, shares personal reflections on how childhood experiences, familial bonds, and life’s unexpected twists—including a career in radio broadcasting and a life-altering accident —have shaped her path. From her early years interviewing music legends like Lou Rawls and Elvis Costello to becoming a voiceover artist and podcaster, Jackie’s journey is a testament to resilience, reinvention, and the power of storytelling. 

Through engaging conversations, Jackie emphasizes the complexities of the mother-daughter relationship, the lessons we carry forward, and the role of self-discovery and healing, in midlife. Whether you're reflecting on your own family dynamics, navigating a career pivot, or simply seeking inspiration, this episode is packed with insights on embracing change, honoring personal growth, and finding meaning in our life experiences.

Tune in to hear behind-the-scene stories, surprising guest revelations, and the wisdom that comes from truly listening—to our mothers, to ourselves, and to the narratives that define us.

🔹 What you'll learn
✅ The profound impact of maternal influence on personal growth
✅ How early family dynamics shape self-identity and relationships
✅ The power of storytelling in career transitions and reinvention
✅ How Jackie’s radio helped her uncover deeper truths about life
✅ Why understanding the stories we carry can lead to healing and empowerment.
 
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🔗 If you’re looking for guidance in your own transformation, I invite you to visit https://reinventimpossible.com to learn more

If you liked this story check out previous episodes  #97 and #108 of Aging With Purpose And Passion. And you may also like the Older Women And Friends where guests overcome their own challenges. https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/older-women-friends/id1655008259 

Resources:
Jackie Tantillo:
https://shltmm.simplecast.com/
https://www.facebook.com/ShouldHaveListenedToMyMother/
https://www.instagram.com/shouldhavelistenedtomymother/?next=%2F
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jackie-tantillo/

Beverley Glazer
https://reinventimpossible.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/beverleyglazer/
https://www.facebook.com/beverley.glazer
https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenover50rock
https://www.instagram.com/beverleyglazer_reinvention/

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the podcast designed to inspire your greatness and thrive through life. Get ready to conquer your fears. Here's your host. Psychotherapist coach and empowerment expert Beverly Glaser. Psychotherapist coach and empowerment expert, beverly.

Speaker 2:

Glazer, do the stories we carry from our mothers stay with us more than we realize? Well, welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion. I'm Beverly Glazer and I help women achieve the success they know they deserve in their lives and their careers, and you can text me in the show notes and you can also find me on reinventimpossiblecom. Jackie Tantillo is a radio veteran, a voiceover artist and a podcast host of. Should have Listened to my Mother. From her dynamic career in broadcasting to the insights of exploring the mother-child relationship, jackie's story will have you laughing, reflect and even heal from your own story. So let's dive right into the conversation. Hi, jackie, hi, how are you?

Speaker 3:

So the conversation Hi, Jackie, Hi, how are you so nice to see you.

Speaker 2:

Beverly, it's great seeing you too and to talk to you again, and you've got a great story. You were the youngest of seven in an Italian-American family the youngest of seven. How did that shape you, jackie, and how was your mother involved in all this?

Speaker 3:

Well, she's still. Actually. The day of this recording is the day that she went on to her next life, so this is a nice celebration to be talking about her. How coincidental Totally totally totally.

Speaker 3:

She's here, I'm in my studio, should have listened to my mother's studio and I have pictures of her up and she was fantastic. Her name is linda and uh, six girls and one boy. I'm the youngest and I basically have many doctorate degrees just from listening and watching the experiences of my older siblings. I have five sisters to call if I have a question about anything. I have a brother to call about anything a sister-in-law.

Speaker 3:

So it just was a very magical, very magical upbringing. We lived in Spain, my father was on business for a number of years and the last three of the seven kids were born in Gibraltar or Spain, and then we came back to the US and every little bit of it, all of my family's experience in Europe. My mother carried those traditions of beautiful family dinners and she was very, very inspired by beauty. She was an artist, she was brilliant, but she loved seeing beauty everywhere. And I'm not talking about just expensive things, but simple little flower arrangements that we would have to go out and get every weekend when we cleaned the house, and just the subtle arrangements of artwork or a pillow, you know, and it was those simple little things that can really have an amazing effect on somebody. She is magical, still affecting us and guiding us today.

Speaker 2:

So that's why I say she's still magical no, it sounds like you had a magical childhood as the seventh of the seven, with all those sisters and one brother, and you know everyone taking care of the baby yes, everyone apparently was giving me the baths, which I don't remember all of that necessarily, but we are.

Speaker 3:

We all of us speak pretty much every day. We're very, very close and that was their number one priority. Even though as teenagers we didn't quite understand why we couldn't go out every night, it was always family and it was a big festive occasion whenever we were together, and it still holds true today.

Speaker 2:

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful memories. And when did you first fall in love with radio and broadcast?

Speaker 3:

Wow, that's another one related to my mom. We had the radio on all the time and because she was so busy she was always learning, because she was either listening to nutritionists or news or mystery theaters, or we would have the opera on in the house on the weekends and we had to clean live at the Met. I mean it was magical. So radio was a huge part of my childhood, my imagination growing and spreading. It was I knew before I even went to college. I was like this is what I'm doing and I was a very shy, quiet. You know it was hard to get a word in edgewise a lot of my family, but I knew what I wanted to go to school for. I did radio and TV and I studied some foreign languages and I've been doing it since I was 17, 18 years old.

Speaker 2:

What were the challenges? The challenges of a woman in broadcasting, I mean back in the day.

Speaker 3:

My father would play golf and he'd like, yeah, I played golf with some you know radio guys today either you know program directors or salespeople, and they're like it's really tough to make a living in radio, especially for women, and I didn't even, I didn't even, didn't hesitate, I didn't listen to that and I've been really lucky and it's it's kind of my philosophy with anything If you're moving in a forward direction, whether it's for a relationship or a career or anything that you, if you have momentum and you keep moving in a forward direction, I think that's okay. So there were years that I was doing other producing and coordinating work, but I always came back to radio or always came back to on-camera work or voiceovers. So sometimes you have to go sideways but it helped me become a better talent because I had those other skills you know. So it comes in handy.

Speaker 2:

But you also had a horrific accident when you were getting off a job, and what was that about? That was huge.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and it wasn't until we had our first conversation, beverly, that I realized how, because I remember getting emotional talking to you about it and that had never happened before. I was getting off the air at a radio station. I got off I guess six o'clock in the morning on Long Island and it was a beautiful morning and I was heading home. So I was heading eastbound into the sunlight and it was a two lane road and a gentleman behind me decided to pass me and he was blinded by the light, the sun or something else, and he didn't see that was coming in the oncoming direction and I hadn't thought about it this way. The two cars in the opposing lane went off to my left and had they gone to my right, toward me, or one of them right toward me or one of them, I wouldn't be here having this conversation with you.

Speaker 3:

So that was just like a miracle day. Unfortunately, one of the gentlemen did not survive. He was a dad of five kids and I think about it a lot. I think about his children's lives. I think about it when I'm driving and I realize I'm going too fast.

Speaker 2:

I said it's a split second that everything can change, but it definitely affects me more than I think I knew it did. Yeah, yeah, and you could see if you think about it all the time.

Speaker 3:

It affects your entire life, that trauma, and it's amazing because I don't know if it was after that incident, but I've always gone for my CPR certification.

Speaker 3:

I donate blood, I do all of those things and for a while whether it was serendipity or guardian angels or intuition I have been present for so many car accidents and I have been the first one there since that incident for decades, and I don't know what it is. And I finally, at one point I said to myself I was walking home from dropping my boys off at elementary school years ago and I heard that horrible sound that I know too well and I said I'm not turning around, I'm just. This is ridiculous. I mean, it was, it was happening. So of course I turned around and it was one of my sons, like second or first grade teachers, that had gotten hit from behind. And I'm it's intuition, whatever you want to call it, but there are positive things out of that happening back in 85, when I was in my early 20s, that I have to look at in a good light because it may be going in a direction to help other people. So I have to keep that in mind.

Speaker 2:

You've also done some iconic, iconic interviews back in the day. I've been very lucky. Yes, yes, yes. Elvis Costello, lou Rawls, tell us about that. What did that bring to your life? What did you learn from these people?

Speaker 3:

Well, the best part about doing everything that I've done. And I was again in my 20s. You know, I look back and I'm like man, how did I even know how to compose myself? But again, I could remember because I would be in the green room of this beautiful outdoor arena in Saratoga Springs, new York, called SPAC, the Performing Arts Center Center, where the New York City Ballet performs as well. But I could. I was trying to make it very visual for my listeners the beautiful setting, the sound checks and all of that. So I may have not actually been on the stage, but I was in the green room just to the side and I was trying to re-compose the sounds, the setting, everything so they would all feel part of the pre-show.

Speaker 3:

But what's the biggest takeaway for me when you're interviewing someone who's iconic or, you know, a celebrity, is that they are all. They're just normal people. You have chosen to specialize in your profession. I've chosen to specialize in mine. They have all chosen to be a musician or an actor, right? So if you try and not let your nerves get to you, if you try and talk to them one-on-one about their music and their process, like now, I have all these questions, like God, I wish I knew to ask them about their writing process, you know, but that comes with maturity. But I was able to because I was so passionate about broadcasting. I had visualized this and I listened to some fame Alison Steele on the radio, some of my mentors and I knew already what I wanted in my future. So I knew I wanted to do it, I wanted to be there and I just got lucky that I was chosen to be backstage all the time.

Speaker 2:

How lucky, how lucky. It was very fun.

Speaker 3:

So many wonderful memories For sure.

Speaker 2:

Now, what inspired you to go into podcasting A totally different field, however somewhat related. And, of all things, I should have listened to my mother. Who doesn't say that, right? Who doesn't?

Speaker 3:

say that and yet my mother she probably Linda's, probably like why did you, you know, why did you have to do that? Why me, all the incredible, beautiful things in the world? Because, number one, it took me a while. I was working at WABC, radio Talk 770, 770 WABC in the city for 20 years and I was a female voice, a female production director. So the station was sold and I was going to have my show on WABC but then they were selling the station so that was not going to happen and it took me a while to come up with a topic but I came up with. Should have listened to my mother. It was literally in the middle of the night, so I had almost a half a season worth of shows produced already.

Speaker 3:

So I just I have a home studio where I am now, and I thought it was interesting to not only see how people, who, what, where, when, influences someone to become who they are today.

Speaker 3:

Right, are you who you are today because of or in spite of your mother? And initially it was all these people that do really interesting, different jobs, like I love what you're doing and then go into the effect their mom had on them and it's evolved a lot. I'm in my sixth season now so it's changed. But everybody has a different story, no matter how similar, and how they turn their life around from their experience is what really piques my interest. Some people could really turn their life around based on how they grew up and what they were not given. Some of my guests are very gracious and they say very often that you know, my mom did the best she could with what she had, and that was hard for me to swallow in the beginning, hearing that based on you know the mom's behavior. But a lot of women didn't have the tools, especially what we have now.

Speaker 2:

So yes, and you have to go through. It Got to go and I like the way you said because of my mother or in spite of my mother. Yeah, you know, and yes, there could be very many challenges, but we all have to overcome that if it's in spite of my mother.

Speaker 3:

Sure, because otherwise it just holds you back Exactly. Your mom is gone, I'm assuming, right, she's on the next plane, or whoever, wherever she is, whatever your beliefs are, but it only can restrict you, restrict you from pursuing your dreams. But then people say I don't know what I dream because I never had anyone showing me. I mean, it's really very complicated.

Speaker 2:

True. Well, we can always find a mentor, we can always find an aunt, a person, even someone that you feel on television, somebody that you've never even met. You know the ideal and you know, or be a mother, the best mother to ourselves.

Speaker 3:

But one person right. One person can change your life. If it's not your mother, it's just one person, Exactly.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. So what did that show teach you, because you've gone through so many different interviews with so many people all talking about their mothers one way or the other? What did it teach you, jackie?

Speaker 3:

Well it, oops, sorry I um, I learned a lot, not only the mistakes I've made raising we have two boys in their early 20s choices I would have made differently. As far as the listening and I've talked about this before when your children are talking to you, you know. I could remember specifically being at the kitchen counter. My son is telling me this experience that he had had and I was like I'm right here, I'm listening to you. He goes no, but you're not here. I think that's something. You're not hearing me and it was.

Speaker 3:

And I wish I could go back to that episode, that experience, because it I I messed up. I should have run around the counter and hugged him and I just said, oh, should we call your dad or you know whatever the specifics were, but I should have just given him a hug and I've talked to him about it. But I've learned so much Number one, how fortunate I am to have had the experience growing up with our mom, with my mom. But I've learned a lot about listening to your kids and not just hearing them and putting things down your telephone or whatever down and really acknowledging the one-on-one conversation.

Speaker 2:

But just to add, because I've dealt with so many stories, as you know, and very often when a child and this could be even an adult child, particularly an adult child, because you're always a mother and you're always a mother forever you know, there's always that guilt I should have done what did I do wrong? And you know you may not have done anything wrong. You did your best, but whatever happened and the way it was interpreted, you know yeah absolutely.

Speaker 3:

There's definitely more than one part to this, but, yes, and you have to move on, and we have a fantastic relationship with both of our boys and we're so proud of them. We're very, very lucky, sure sure.

Speaker 2:

So what's the most surprising story that you ever had in an interview? Does one stand up and say, oh my goodness.

Speaker 3:

Well, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, when someone tells you how, oh my gosh, their mother had her children stealing things from stores and and then, and they were in on it together and then when the child got caught outside, say, the store manager saw them and ran after them and caught them, the mom denied it and started screaming at her child and you know it's just blatantly horrific behavior. But it was her. She had a lot of issues going on, but that was startling and then, of course, she went to jail. So and these three kids basically then had to raise themselves. And this one gentleman that I spoke to, he's absolutely phenomenal, doing lots of volunteer work and you know he's an entrepreneur, travels around the world, but he's always helping people and they figured it out.

Speaker 3:

These three kids turn their lives around. And then you have the parents who would put their four-year-old child on a train this was a long time ago, but still across country to have the aunt meet them on the West Coast. It's just startling. I wish I would never get away with that now. But you know there's a lot of kids that had it rough, a lot of abuse, and that is shocking. But again, when you turn your life around, whether it's through art or volunteering your time somewhere, you come to realize that you don't have to repeat that pattern. I just interviewed Judy Wilkins-Smith. She talks about family patterns and you can break that pattern, the traditions. You do not break that pattern, the traditions. You do not have to stay on that track. You don't, and you can change your life for the better.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. And if you could leave the listeners with just one powerful message, Jackie, about self-discovery, what would that be?

Speaker 3:

Well, I'm still in the process of self-discovery and I hope everybody is. I think that's an important part of life, but I think in this age, in this technology, era of technology, that we have to take the time to stop and listen to our mind and our body, and we can only run at full speed for so long. If there are issues perhaps that you have, whether it's your mother or someone close to you, it's worth gathering your courage and breaking that barrier and have a conversation with someone, because inevitably, life is too short and it's healing for both people involved in that conversation. It really is, even if it's hard. I mean even things with my husband and I. If we're off a little bit and we're never really off we're very, very close. It's like okay, can we talk about this, or you know what's really going on, something as simple as that, and then I just can feel the weight lifted off or I start breathing deeper, you know.

Speaker 2:

So talk about it, get it out, get it out.

Speaker 3:

I feel much lighter. It helps me breathe better if you just clear the air. That's my key, that's my magic.

Speaker 2:

Oh yes, thank you, jackie. Jackie Tantillo is the host and executive producer of Should have Listened to my Mother podcast. She's worked in broadcasting on radio in front of the camera and back of the camera all over. She's a national and international voiceover talent, a voiceover acting instructor, and she's a producer and production coordinator for over 40 years. Here are a few takeaways from this episode. Your mother's influence lasts, but understanding can bring clarity and healing. It's never too late to grow from your past. Your story matters, and sharing it can inspire and empower others as well, and you can create new opportunities at any stage of your life. At any stage of your life. For similar episodes on personal growth, check out episode 97 and 108 on aging with purpose and passions. And so where can people find you, jackie Online?

Speaker 3:

If you Google should have listened to my mother or Jackie Tantillo. You can find us wherever you look, or on YouTube, all the social medias.

Speaker 2:

Terrific, and those links are going to be in the show notes and they're also going to be on my site too, and that's reinventimpossiblecom. And now, my friends, what's next for you? Are you just going through the motions or are you really passionate about your own life? Sign into my newsletter and get the weekly self-coaching tips, and that also will empower your journey through your life. That link, where do you think it'll be? They'll be in the show notes as well. You can contact me, beverly Glazer, on all social media platforms and in my positive group of women on Facebook. That's Women Over 50 Rock, and if you think I can help you find your purpose and passion in life, please schedule a Zoom and we will find out. So thank you for listening. Have you enjoyed this conversation? Please subscribe so you don't miss out on the next one, and send this episode to a friend. And remember you only have one life, so keep aging with purpose and passion.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for joining us. You can connect with Bev on her website, reinventimpossiblecom and, while you're there, join our newsletter Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Until next time, keep aging with purpose and passion and celebrate life.