Aging with Purpose and Passion

Life After 60: How Aging Can Spark Your Creativity

• Beverley Glazer • Episode 120

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Step into a world where age is embraced, creativity flourishes, and women empower one another. In this enriching episode, Beverley Glazer talks with Jacqueline Perez (Jack), a gifted poet and founder of Kuel Life, who discovered her passion for poetry at the age of 60. With a backdrop of cultural challenges as a child of Cuban refugees, Jacqueline shares her journey of navigating life’s hurdles - from corporate dissatisfaction to the emotional turbulence of menopause.  

Jacqueline's candid reflections illuminate how pivotal life changes can lead to profound self-discovery and artistic expression. Her initiative, Kuel Life, serves as a vibrant community for women to share their experiences, offering resources and encouragement on topics commonly shrouded in stigma. By fostering a supportive network, Jacqueline emphasizes the strength that comes from unity and the importance of normalizing aging.  

Listeners will be inspired by Jacqueline's belief that it's never too late to pursue one's passions and find joy in the unexpected. Expect a lively discussion on overcoming fears, the joy of creativity, and the essence of community among women facing the myriad challenges life presents. 

Join us as we celebrate the beauty of growing older and the powerful stories that emerge from it. Want to connect with this vibrant community? Tune in, and discover the courage to rewrite your story!

For similar episodes on embracing resilience and change, check out Episode 99 and 106.

Thank you for listening. If you're relating to this story, please drop a review and send this episode to a friend.

Resources:

If you've enjoyed Aging with Purpose and Passion, you might also like Fit Strong Women Over 50 to enspire and encourage each other to keep you on top of your goals. Listen here.

 Jacqueline Perez (Jack)

Website: www.kuellife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kuellife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kuellife/

LinkedIN: https://www.linkedin.com/company/kuellife

Pinterest:https://www.pinterest.com/kuellife/

Twitter:https://twitter.com/kuellife

 Beverley Glazer

Website: ReinventImpossible https://reinventimpossible.com

LinkedIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/beverleyglazer/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/beverley.glazer

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenover50rock

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/beverleyglazer_reinvention/

How can Bev help you empower your life? Schedule here:

https://calendly.com/reinventimpossible/15min


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the podcast designed to inspire your greatness and thrive through life. Get ready to conquer your fears. Here's your host psychotherapist, coach and empowerment expert, Beverly Glazer.

Beverley Glazer:

Are you ready to shake up the rules and follow your own path? Well, welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion. I'm Beverley Glazer and I'm a transformational coach and therapist, and I help women to have the confidence to create the life they know that they deserve. And you can find me on reinventimpossiblecom or text me in the show notes below. Today's guest is on a mission to show women that getting older means stepping up the game. Jacqueline Perez is a first-time poet who, at 60, discovered the transformative power of words after a month-long journey in Istanbul. She is a pro-aging champion and the founder of Cool Life, a platform dedicated to normalizing aging in women. From growing up as a child of refugee parents to launching a platform that empowers women all over the world, Jack's journey is full of surprises. If you're ready to shake off the rules and create new ones, you do not want to miss this conversation. Hey, jack, welcome.

Jacqueline Perez:

Great to be here, Beverley. Thank you so much for hosting me today.

Beverley Glazer:

Well, you have so much of an exciting life, Jack. Whenever you know, I'm following you because I'm part of your community and I'm a thought leader on cool life and you're all over the world. You're all over everywhere. I don't know how you do it and run a business and everything else and all of a sudden become a poet, but we don't even know that yet. So, wow, jack, you grew up as with parents that were refugees from Cuba.

Jacqueline Perez:

How did that shape you yeah.

Jacqueline Perez:

Well, I am certain that it is exactly why I am the way I am today. Right, I mean, I'd have to run some sort of parallel experiment where I grew up simultaneously, you know, with maybe normal parents or whatever normal parents who had normal parents. Nobody has, there are no such thing as normal parents. But yes, it was interesting, beverly, because I grew up where, inside my house it was Little Havana, we spoke Spanish, it was very culturally Hispanic, latin American, and then when I stepped out the door, all of my friends were, you know, regular old United States kids with, like, the bicycles and the parents that didn't have curfews on them. And you know, it was just interesting.

Jacqueline Perez:

I just, I had a very restrictive sort of conservative upbringing and I believe that my reaction to that was to be anything but conservative, right, because it's not what happens to you, it's what you choose to do with it, and some people are molded and follow in the footsteps and then some people choose to do things differently. I wanted to have a really big life and I just, I chose less fear. I was raised on a whole lot of fear. I mean big chose less fear. I was raised on a whole lot of fear. I mean big doses of fear.

Beverley Glazer:

Yeah, dollops of fear you would never know. You never at all. You also, though, you were diving into music and art and sports and acting, and all of that. Was that nurtured, or was that just part of your community?

Jacqueline Perez:

That was me. Just, I am a novelty seeker, it turns out. I am driven to be constantly curious and searching, which is a yin and a yang. Right, because sometimes I find myself doing the whole. Why am I always so wistful? Why am I always so wishing for what's next? Because that's not a great place to be. Always right, you want to be satisfied, you want to be in the moment, and I struggle with that because I'm very, very geared to what's around the corner, what's coming, and sometimes I have to work really hard to stop and really feel and be good about what is just happening right now now, but you also grew up with unconditional love in that family and I think that that was really helpful.

Beverley Glazer:

It's like you were the only child, the oldest child. You probably were helping your parents a lot just navigating America and helping your sister, perhaps your brother as well, but you also have that unconditional love, that foundation. What does that give you?

Jacqueline Perez:

So, to be honest with you, that is the one thing that I emulated from parenting was that unconditional love, because I believe that if your child knows and feels it, boy oh boy, you can make a ton of mistakes in the parenting world, I believe. Well, at least that's what I hung my hat on when I parented, you know, because I really I ended up appreciating and really valuing my parents for what they were able to provide. They did the best they could, given the circumstances and given who they were and given their upbringing, given their family of origin stuff. And having that unconditional love provided this sense of self-esteem, maybe, maybe that's the word I'm looking for, right, because if you know you're loved, you're going to feel pretty good about yourself and when you're little, you're not really looking for love from a lot of different places, you're just looking for it at home. I got it at home, I didn't go without.

Beverley Glazer:

And then you went off to corporate America after your education and you actually left corporate America and started your own PR agency. Why did you do that? What is which?

Jacqueline Perez:

Well, I don't play nicely with others when I'm being told what to do all the time. I found corporate America very frustrating. I wanted a shorter path between my suggestion or my activity or my work product, whatever it is. I wanted a shorter path between it and the result. In corporate America, the path was long and it wasn't straight. It was, you know, twisty turny. There were so many different decision makers involved. There were so many, you know, conversations to come to agreements and to compromise. Frustration there was no way. Frustration. I much preferred a shorter distance between action and reaction or action and outcomes, and that is why I started my own business. I wanted to be held accountable. I wanted to run the show and I wanted to be held accountable for the outcome and know what it was in a short period of time, not wait weeks or months to find out that what you were working on was worthless. I hate that. I want to know. I want to know sooner.

Beverley Glazer:

Sure, and so you were on top of your game and you went into PR. And then what happened after that is you really started suffering menopause, and it was a lot different than most. A lot of people suffer, we suffer in different ways, but you went through a complete life change. What was that like for you?

Jacqueline Perez:

It was overwhelming, beverly, I completely lost me. I gained almost 40 pounds. I was weighing what I weighed. The day I delivered my son, I had all sorts of anxiety, which I'm not an anxious person, I never have been but I was dealing with a ton of anxiety. I was dealing with not being able to regulate my emotions. Not a good version of me Forget about like the normal stuff that people find to be true, like the hot flashes and all that stuff. Yeah, that happened too, but there was some really big issues that prevented me from functioning and, honestly, I worked for myself and I could kind of navigate the water sort of behind the scenes for myself and I could kind of navigate the water sort of behind the scenes.

Jacqueline Perez:

However, if I had been forced to go to my corporate job during those years, I might've been fired because I don't know that I was, I don't know that I was performing. Do you know what I mean? Like I don't know that I was, I wasn't okay and it wasn't a permanent situation, it wasn't. But I know I've read the studies A lot of women misconstrue menopause symptoms, sometimes for early onset dementia, and that's really scary. I was a little worried. I was. I was a little worried. Turns out I'm fine. It turns out I was just menopause.

Beverley Glazer:

But what did you do? Did they say menopause right away, or did you really no?

Jacqueline Perez:

no, if they said menopause right away, that would mean that the medical community cared about the gender that has. That is known now as women. I don't even know what we're going to call it eventually, but we call them now women. Yes, if medicine cared about women, they would have had it all figured out. No, of course not. I started doing what every other woman I think was doing at that time trying anything you know trying the curcumin, trying the turmeric, trying the melatonin for sleeping, trying that you name it. I tried it. I swear to you, if you, if the guy on the with the horse and the little carriage walked by the traveling salesman and he had had like a goodie in his back, I would have gone out there and gotten it. I mean, I'm not making it up, I tried everything. At the end of the day, I ended up utilizing hormones bioidentical hormone replacement therapy, bioidentical hormone replacement therapy and it has changed my life for me, For me too.

Beverley Glazer:

actually, I could put that one in too, but I didn't go through all that suffering that you did, but it made all the difference, all the difference.

Jacqueline Perez:

And I am a big. I tell women ahead of time, now, like younger women, I'm like, listen, if you're starting to notice this, go find a doctor who will talk to you about this. Go find a doctor who knows what they're doing. Preferably, preferably, find a woman and don't just take my word. And I like men, I live with one, I made one. I love men. I love men. I love men. But go out, do yourself a favor. Research just how women doctors do from just from a patient. What do you call it? Survival rate? Just go look and it is statistically significant and statistically different. Women have much higher rates of success in the medical community, in survival rates, than counter male doctors. I don't do male doctors anymore, I just don't.

Beverley Glazer:

And Kuel Life, which is all about women and all about community. All about women and all about community. Tell us about that. When did you start that and why?

Jacqueline Perez:

I began Kuel Life about seven years ago. I started it with a friend who passed away shortly after we launched from colon cancer. But we started it because we felt invisible and we knew that we couldn't be the only ones, Beverly. We knew that there had to be other women out there and we believe that the best gift we could give, the legacy that we wanted to leave behind, was to be part of the sea change and part of the paradigm shift to normalizing aging, because it is normal to age it is preferable to age than the counterpart but we don't treat it like a normal process for women.

Beverley Glazer:

And so cool life. What does it do for you? Because now you've met so many people, including myself. You just hit the nail on the head.

Jacqueline Perez:

I mean I get a lot of information because I have over 65 women from around the world that provide their wisdom and their expertise in the different lanes, the different opportunities and challenges that come up so everywhere, from reinvention and the topics that you cover, but there's also the physiological topics such as menopause. How do you date? Oh wait, divorce, the great divorce, and then dating. And then how do you date with a dry vagina? Divorce, the great divorce, and then dating. And then how do you date with a dry vagina? Right, I mean, there are a lot of things that happen at this stage of life.

Jacqueline Perez:

I went out to find the experts, such as yourself, that are handling these opportunities and challenges for women today and I said to them I said you think it would be a good idea if we could consolidate all this information, make it available so women have a place to go to help themselves. Knowledge is power, Knowledge is power and if you get the knowledge and you get the information, navigating midlife and beyond, I think, becomes such a delight, such a delight navigating midlife and beyond, I think, becomes such a delight, such a delight Totally, and that sisterhood also is so empowering.

Jacqueline Perez:

Yes, oh, I didn't answer your question. So the thing that I got yes, I get information, but honestly, I did not expect this. This is not why I started it, but I have 65 women, more than that, because I probably have had probably 140 women now go through cool life over the seven years, because not everyone has stayed and new women come and some women leave, but even the women. I just had a conversation with a woman who was an OG. He had started with my partner. My partner had brought her in and we have. She stopped writing for me two or three years ago. It wasn't working for her life and she was doing something else, business-wise. We talked last night. Yesterday afternoon she's coming back because we both realized it's time for her to come back and it's just so exciting when. So what I'm saying is that she's still part of my life and will be forever. I have made a community of women, a friendship circle that is deep and meaningful. I'm forever grateful for that.

Beverley Glazer:

And it keeps growing. It keeps growing, jack. So let me also ask you what compelled you at 60? What happened to you in Istanbul?

Jacqueline Perez:

Oh my gosh. So it wasn't the Istanbul part as much as the Istanbul month allowed me to process. I believe I had been suffering from low-level depression for a few years after my son went to college. I didn't see it at the time, I didn't identify it as such, and it was low level enough that I seemed to be functioning as a normal human being. It's just that I wasn't feeling joy. I was in the circumstances. I was going along, I was doing the stuff, I was checking the boxes, I was quote unquote showing up, but there was nothing going on in here. There was a disconnect, and that had been going on for a couple of years. And then my sister moved away from me, which was a huge impact.

Jacqueline Perez:

I had a lifetime friendship that had been over 15, 20 years. We grew, we raised our children together and she broke up with me. It just wasn't working for her anymore and we had a very adult conversation and I understood and we went our separate ways for now. But whoa, I didn't see that coming either. I had a real big step back financially from a business venture that I was pursuing that threw me for a loop and I found myself really depressed. Yes, I started therapy, of course, but the therapy wasn't. The therapy was once a week. The therapy wasn't helping me on the other days and it wasn't helping me the other 23 hours a day, or whatever. And so what I found? I'm a writer. I've been a writer for a long time, but I have written mostly essays. I think you know that right, jack smack. Essays they're everywhere and there's hundreds out there, and it's usually about the trappings of midlife, and I write tongue in cheek and self-deprecating humor.

Beverley Glazer:

And I'm going to just add they're great. If anyone online finds them. They are delightful.

Jacqueline Perez:

Thank you, I think they're pretty good. Yes.

Beverley Glazer:

Yes, they're great, but poetry is a whole other thing. What possessed you to write poetry?

Jacqueline Perez:

I just couldn't find the extra words. And so, honestly, at this point, I even wrote a poem about why I wrote poems, which is basically that at this stage of the game, I am running out of time and I'm running out of words and I'd much rather it's like the Mark Twain quote sorry for such the long letter, I didn't have time to write you a shorter, one long letter, I didn't have time to write you a shorter one. My perspective now is if I can move you, if I can help you, if I can empower you, if I can make you feel something, feel less alone, if you can relate and I've done it in a four-line stanza rather than a two or three hundred word or 300 word paragraph well, bully for me. It's an intellectual and emotional challenge that, as a writer, I really wanted to try and believe that I've been successful.

Beverley Glazer:

And what do you give to women in those poems? When a woman is reading those poems, what do you want them to feel?

Jacqueline Perez:

Seen, not alone, these feelings, these emotions, these dilemmas, these quirks, these guffaws that I write about in these short stanzas. I really believe they are archetypal, meaning all women will be able to relate to them in a different way. But these are universal rites of passages. Ladies, we all go through them, and I just chose to process mine verbally, in a written word, in an art form that's old and kind of antiquated and not very popular. And so, in order to combat that, in case people were like, oh, I don't want to read poetry, guess what, beverly, you don't have to read it. In case people were like, oh, I don't want to read poetry, guess what, beverly, you don't have to read it, because each poem has a QR code that I've attached to it. And so while you're, while you have the book in your hand or the ebook on your Kindle, if you want, you can put your camera up to the QR code and all of a sudden, I'm in your ear and you can hear me read the poem to you.

Beverley Glazer:

That is so beautiful and I have to try that. That is so unique. That's wonderful. I love it. I love it. You don't even have to read the whole book. It's there and it goes to your heart.

Jacqueline Perez:

And it's short. It's 30 poems. I did it in 30 days. I did a poem a day. That was my challenge and it is. They're short, but boy, oh boy, they're short but they're compact, meaning every word counts. And so far, the women, the reviews I'm getting are. They're filling my heart. It's doing what it did for me and it's doing it for other women and I'm just, I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled that that's what's happening, beautiful.

Beverley Glazer:

What advice would you give to women in midlife who feel that they don't know what's next for them? They're just uncertain, they're afraid, like you were back in the day.

Jacqueline Perez:

Oh, I'm still afraid. I don't know what's coming tomorrow. I don't even know what's coming after I get off this podcast interview. No fear, I actually have a poem about fear. I write it as a metaphor about taming a lion. So basically, fear is this lion and we need to tame it. Fear is really okay. I live with fear every day. Fear is a good dose of fear will keep you alive, so that's not a bad thing to have.

Jacqueline Perez:

But here's what I would tell you I didn't know I was gonna write poems. I didn't know I was gonna write poems when I was in my teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s. I didn't even know I was gonna write poems when I turned 60. It all happened. That's the thing.

Jacqueline Perez:

How exciting is life? Right, as long as we're breathing vertical and a modicum of health? We have to stay healthy, right, and I know that gets a little more challenging and healthy when I say modicum of health, because I have all sorts of things that don't work, but overall it seems to be functioning. We can do anything. We can be open to all sorts of new things. I have no idea what's going to come next, because if you told me now that five years from now I'm going to be oil painting, I would have to say, oh, maybe I don't know, because I don't know. I would have told you there's no way I would have ever written poetry, and now I have this book with my name on it, you know, yeah. So what I would tell your audience is enjoy the surprise and don't sell yourself short.

Beverley Glazer:

Just go, for it is what I'm hearing and that's what you're doing. Thank you, jack. Thank you, jacqueline. Paris is a poet, a pro-aging advocate and the founder of cool life, a platform for normalizing aging. She has a passion for travel and at 60, she became a poet, so resilience and reinvention is all a part of her game. Metamorphosis in Stanzas is her debut book of poems, capturing themes of love, loss and renewal, while inviting you to embrace the beauty of change. And here's some takeaways from this episode Midlife is a launchpad for reinvention. You do not need to slow down. Embrace your challenges. They provide you with opportunities for growth and it's never too late to go after something that lights you up.

Beverley Glazer:

If you've been relating to this episode, think about what joy you can bring into your life. Perhaps it's by reigniting an artistic passion, stepping out of your comfort zone, or just to stop waiting for someday and follow that dream. For similar episodes on embracing resilience, check out episode 99 and 106 on aging with purpose and passion. And if you've enjoyed this episode, you might also like Fit, strong Women Over 50. That's a podcast for the Becoming Ellie community, where fit and strong women over 50. That's a podcast for the Becoming Ellie community where fit and strong women over 50 inspire and encourage each other through motivational stories to keep you on your goals, and you can find them at wwwbecomingelliecom. And Ellie is spelt E-L-L-I and that will also be in the show notes. So, jack, where can people find more about you and more about your book? What are those links?

Jacqueline Perez:

You can find me on cool life dot com, and cool is spelled a little cattywampus, beverly, you know this. It is not spelled with a C, ladies, it is spelled with a K, and so that is K-U-E-L lifecom, and there you can get to me there easily. I'm all over that. And if you go to the about page you'll see the list of our thought leaders, and so if you're looking for resources, that's a great page to go to. But also you can find more about my book on therealjacksmackcom. But you can get to it through Cool Life. So if you go to Cool Life you can get to everything. But if you just happen to remember Jack Smack, it's therealjacksmackcom.

Beverley Glazer:

Because all her links, every single one of them Instagram, everywhere on social. They're going to be in the show notes and they're on my site too, and that's reinventedpossiblecom. And now, my friends, what's next for you? Are you just going through the motions or are you really passionate about your life? Get my free checklist from stuck to unstoppable to turn your life around, and that link will also be in the show notes below. You can connect with me, beverly Glazer, on all social media platforms and in my positive group of women on Facebook. That's Women Over 50 Rock, and if you're looking for guidance in your own transformation, I invite you to explore reinventimpossiblecom. Thank you for listening. Have you enjoyed this conversation? Subscribe so you don't miss the next one, and send this episode to a friend. Always remember you only have one life, so live it with purpose and passion.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for joining us. You can connect with Bev on her website, reinventimpossiblecom and, while you're there, join our newsletter subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Until next time, keep aging with purpose and passion and celebrate life.