Aging with Purpose and Passion

Choosing Yourself First: Embrace Healing and Empowerment After 50

• Beverley Glazer • Episode 132

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Michelle Biship's incredible journney from trauma to transformation is a powerfful testament to the resilience and strength within us all. Born into a chaotic, abusive childhood with a mentally ill mother, Michelle’s "perfect" exterior life hid the deep emotional pain she endured. Struggling with anorexia as a young girl, Michelle’s early trauma set the stage for a life of self-discovery, healing, and growth.

Despite overcoming many struggles, Michelle rose to become a six-figure earner in office equipment sales, defying expectations and building a successful career. However, it wasn’t until she was diagnosed with breast cancer at 50 and faced the sudden loss of her husband that Michelle truly began to reclaim her life.

This journey of profound loss and healing led Michelle to create her empowering life philosophy: " Choose You First. A philosophy that emphasizes self-care as essential, not selfish. Through her book and coaching, Michelle teaches women how to make small, manageable shifts toward transformation. 

Michelle’s story is a beacon of hope for anyone facing trauma, loss, or feeling stuck in their current circumstances. She reminds us that we are perfect in our imperfections and shows us how emotional healing, resilience, and self-compassion can transform even the most difficult times into sources of strength and purpose. Whether navigating menopause, body image struggles, or caregiving, Michelle offers practical advice on overcoming trauma, setting boundaries, and living fully.

Ready to choose yourself first? Tune in to Michelle’s inspiring story and discover the first steps to emotional healing, personal growth, and lasting fulfillment.

For similar episodes on finding strength in adversity  please check  episodes 104 and 108.

Resources: 

If you love traveling tune into The Ageless Traveler Podcast & subscribe to a free Travel Tuesday newsletter. This is the #1 resource for 60+ travelers. Join her private FACEBOOK SALON  for like-minded travelers. You'll find destinations, health and wellness travel, luxury travel for less, companionship pathways, solo, grandarent and voluntouring, fighting ageism in tourism  agelesstraveler.com  

Thank you for listening. If you enjoy this podcast, please help  spread the word by dropping a review and forwarding it to a friend. 

Michelle Bishop

Michelle@Bishoplife.com

https://bishoplife.com/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61565410834641


 Beverley Glazer

WEBSITE https://reinventimpossible.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/beverleyglazer/

https://www.facebook.com/beverley.glazer

https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenover50rock

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the podcast designed to inspire your greatness and thrive through life. Get ready to conquer your fears. Here's your host psychotherapist, coach and empowerment expert, Beverly Glazer.

Beverley Glazer:

Have you ever felt that you're just holding it all together? You're definitely not alone. Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion. I'm Beverley Glazer, a transformational coach and catalyst empowering women to rewrite the rules, reclaim their voice and create the life they were meant to live, and you can find me on reinventimpossiblecom. Michelle Bishop is an author, a coach, a breast cancer survivor with a mission. She suffered trauma loss and severe emotional pain. In this episode, michelle opens up with raw honesty and explains how she turned her struggles into a new purpose that helps other women do the same. Keep listening, hi, michelle. Welcome.

Michelle Bishop:

Thank you, I'm so glad to be here.

Beverley Glazer:

It's great to see you and your story. I think a lot of women can relate too.

Michelle Bishop:

Well, I definitely know that we are a community of women. That can all relate.

Beverley Glazer:

Oh yes, oh yes, one way or another. Yes, you had a very tough childhood. Not everybody does, but you certainly did. And you grew up in Florida and tell us about that childhood, because it wasn't easy. What was life like for you?

Michelle Bishop:

Life outside of the house and in public being was perfect, absolutely perfect, and if anything looks perfect from the outside, you might want to rethink things, because behind the closed doors was nothing less than complete and utter chaos, and I had a mother that was mentally ill and did not, was not nurturing. She was mentally, physically and emotionally abusive, and there are all levels of that type of abuse, from a scale of one to 10. Ours was probably pretty close to a 10, I would say no, let me say pretty close. No, it was a 10. Let's be honest, it was a 10., but in those times, in the 60s, they really did not talk about that, and so it was something that was held behind closed doors, and that abnormality became my normal of what I would expect as a child.

Beverley Glazer:

But then, after a while, your parents got a divorce and so what went on there? Did you, did you? Were you relieved by that? Did you stay with your mom, with your dad? Like what happened there.

Michelle Bishop:

I was not going to stay with my mom. If I had not had the opportunity for my dad to choose me at that time, then I would have been a runaway because I, at that point, knew I could no longer endure a life of abuse and chaos. That was her environment and continued to be her environment until the day she died.

Beverley Glazer:

Okay, so now you were living with your dad, did life completely change? What was it like for you? Were you able to? It's really difficult to go from one situation to another.

Michelle Bishop:

You can't just rewrite the script. So I didn't need to have parental care all the time. I was given complete freedom and in that I was exposed to things at 16 that I had no idea how to deal with it and ultimately I spent a lot of time reclusing as well, as I had created an eating disorder of anorexia because it was the only thought process in my mind at that age of control. The only thing I could actually control was what I would put in my mouth and I could choose not to put it in my mouth, and that's what I did until the fact that I'd gotten to I think it was probably my low 80s.

Michelle Bishop:

Again, I'm five foot tall, but that is way too small for a 16-year-old girl to be, and they said if I lost any more weight that I would be hospitalized. So it kind of jerked me back into at least abiding by the rules. I guess it would be because I didn't want to go to the hospital, but being exposed to people, friends, adults, I was one of those goofy teenagers that literally asked her dad for a curfew. I was like you know, cause he? He never did anything like that, it's like. And here from having such a structured, uh oppressed life that we were in our rooms. My whole life was spent, you know, in my own head of playing and creating and with Barbies and different things like that. To be able to be exposed to that and, quite frankly, men, I didn't know how to deal with that. I was still very much a child.

Beverley Glazer:

But you were a child and you ended up like literally pretty well free range back and forth and discovering your own life. Did you find, mr Wonderful?

Michelle Bishop:

Uh, that would be a big no at first. And it's not a matter of kissing a bunch of toads. It was my own pattern that created that from childhood, so I was definitely traveling down the wrong road and path. I did end up marrying a very domestically, physically abusive man. In the beginning we were young and broke away from that rebound into another one. That was complete rebound, wanting the fantasy of what they were saying but not the reality. But I did have two beautiful, wonderful women, now girls, and had the opportunity to break the chain of abuse and have a loving, nurturing, mothering experience with them, and that just brings me absolutely complete joy. And then, ultimately, I did end up falling in love with the love and my soulmate of life soon after.

Beverley Glazer:

But along the way, you weren't just looking for that prince in shining armor, you were working. You were a terrific salesperson. You sold copy machines salesperson, you sold copy machines. Was this your way of supporting your girls, or what was going on there? How did you continue to balance that life? What was going on?

Michelle Bishop:

Well, I was very, very driven and I remember getting the opportunity before I sold office equipment I was in an administrative, secretarial type of position, certainly no career initiative at all to moving up. And I answered an ad and went to a distributor and had this opportunity for the sales position and had this opportunity for the sales position and I knew that I could at least sell enough copiers to make up what I was currently making. So I took a leap of faith and, after being there and getting such intense training, I was there for 15 years. I remember when I first started having lunch with my dad, who's always been about education and a very successful trial lawyer, and I said, dad, I'm going to make six figures selling copiers and he goes absolutely no way. Well, that's all I needed to hear. And so within three years I was knocking them down and working hard and I loved every minute of it and it was empowering, it was independent. I was the one that was making the choices, which for all my life I never really had had that before.

Beverley Glazer:

But you got out of that and from there you went into insurance. I did.

Michelle Bishop:

Why? Yeah, great question. What happened is that I had developed a relationship in my small town of Knoxville, tennessee, with Phillips Electronics and it went very well and they had referred me into their Atlanta office from a regional perspective. Then they referred me into the New York office where I built the relationship there to selling office equipment to all their locations for Canada, mexico and the United States and, in the interim, my company's CEO.

Michelle Bishop:

We were on the NASDAQ, we'd gone through five CEO changes and I still beat out the manufacturers and all the distributors and everyone in that bid for a very large contract and thought here it's coming and contracts were signed, money had exchanged, equipment shipping and the new CEO that had come in said we're going to be moving in a different direction, but you can stay in your old position. And I said no, no, no. So I opened up my own full property casualty health insurance agency, did very well but I disliked it horribly and so I ended up. I said I'd get it in five years and I did, and I sold my agency to another agent and decided that I was no longer going to do the insurance and I went back into capital equipment. But then I went into medical sales, which I enjoyed very much.

Beverley Glazer:

And through that time you did find the love of your life. I did.

Michelle Bishop:

Tell us about that. Well, I had met him when I first moved to the Knoxville area in 95. And we'd socially our families had known each other and we always had like this instant connect and always together whenever we were together. But he was married and I was getting married and we just separated after that our friendship because I canceled our membership, I was having children, I was in a different phase of my life and I was working and I was working this very large relationship with Phillips at the time for selling the equipment.

Michelle Bishop:

So it kept him pretty occupied until in our area we have the Smoky Mountains and the fall leaves are so beautiful and we have millions of people that come to the area and I hadn't seen him in like five, six years, maybe a little longer, maybe a little longer, and my mother had just passed away, who was my abuser, and I met him in a restaurant up in the Smoky Mountain area with millions of people and he's like I thought you moved back to Florida and I was like no, and since at that time I did have the insurance agency and he had always been in life insurance, so we thought we could do some collaboration and ultimately recognized for me that I could not just have a business relationship with him and I wanted him to know me for who I was.

Michelle Bishop:

I wanted him to know me for who I was and I felt the freedom and I felt the chains had come off, to do that with my mother passing, and I said, would you like to know me? Not the business person, not the wife, not the mother, just me as a person. And he goes absolutely. And that's where it all began.

Beverley Glazer:

And it continued and it was wonderful. And then you were diagnosed. I was yeah.

Michelle Bishop:

With cancer I was. I was diagnosed in 2016. I had gone, I just turned 50, and I thought I needed to check the boxes, so I get all the stuff that you're supposed to get done. You know, in the check box and one happened to be a mammogram and they had found something suspicious and brought me into a room. And then they did a biopsy and they confirmed the fact that I did indeed have breast cancer and I was in the thralls of my medical equipment sales business as well as raising a blended family, and so I had my and I just, honestly, I did not once again believe. I'm like, cause I felt fine, I didn't feel bad at all. And so I was like, oh fine, I didn't feel bad at all. And so I was like, oh and?

Michelle Bishop:

But it was confirmed and I was absolutely convinced at that time because I am only five foot and my husband is clearly not a uh, a leg man that he would leave me and I was vulnerable, I was lost. I was vulnerable, I was lost and I had a conversation with my aunt Linda and was raw with her about how fearful I was. I didn't want to not be there for my children. I didn't want to not be there for him and she said you're not giving him enough credit. And he stood by every appointment, every 38 treatments of radiation, every doctor's appointment, and he was solid. And one thing that happens with radiation is it literally does burn you from the inside out. So there was severe, you know burns and even caring for me during that period he was there, no questions, solid as could be, and it just reaffirmed the complete love that wasn't based on just physicality, but the heart.

Beverley Glazer:

And then one day you got a knock on the door, a knock that nobody, nobody, nobody wants to receive, and the police came to your door and your husband was no longer alive.

Michelle Bishop:

Yes, and that was breathtaking, did not literally, it took me a year to catch my breath, let alone the first few days of just taking a breath. And so anyone that talks about grief or tragedy or something traumatic, I reaffirm just take it a breath at a time, breath at a time, just continue to breathe through it. It is imperative Don't give up. Just take the breath. Don't rush anything. Listen to your body, listen to your heart, listen to yourself and give yourself grace and kindness, compassion and love, and breathe through it.

Beverley Glazer:

Now you wrote the book Choose you First and that was a message to women, other women going through what you were going through. Why choose by media, by social situations?

Michelle Bishop:

friends, by expectations of caregiving, which those are not bad things. They're bad things when you neglect yourself in lieu of taking care of you and just taking care of others. So, even though you might be doing the nutrients of emotional, spiritual, physical health is so imperative because that allows you to give more of the true you, the authentic self in which you are. And if anyone doesn't hear this, they need to. We are perfect in all of our imperfections and it's okay because that is how we are created. And give yourself fully. And if you don't choose you first, you will run out of gas and you will falter physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. So you deserve that and we often give that grace to so many others, that compassion, that forgiveness, but we're so hard on ourselves and by neglecting ourselves, really that's the first step into giving to others.

Beverley Glazer:

And do you think that there's a time for a woman where it's too late? And do you think that there's a time for a woman where it's too late.

Michelle Bishop:

I am going to be 59 July 2nd, and I've often been asked what took you so long to get to this point? And I'm like to the soul and being that I was born into this world than I've ever been in my life. So that is never too late. But you have to choose you first and take action in that Don't just talk about it. And it doesn't mean you go on a crash diet of lifestyle.

Michelle Bishop:

You just have to make small pivots of possible change, positive affirmations of different things to reach the goal in which is your best you, because you are not me, you are not Beverly, you are not your mother, you are no one else, because we are uniquely different, which is fabulous. And so when you make those small pivots of change and let's say it doesn't work out, then you take a step back and then you make another small pivot and all those pivots of change will culminate into a massive lifestyle change. And it's so freeing and it's so joyful, to not just yourself but to others, that you surround and you gravitate everyone, just like in a different chapter of life. Different people will come into your life, different experiences that you'll be able to enjoy that you never even fathomed could be possible. It is possible 100%. We are uniquely wonderful in our own presence.

Beverley Glazer:

Thank you. Thank you, michelle. Michelle Bishop is an author, a blogger, a speaker and a coach who shares her wisdom and experiences to inspire audiences to turn their struggles into strengths. Here are a few takeaways from this episode.

Beverley Glazer:

Self-love is game-changing. It's the foundation for healing and transformation. When you set boundaries, you practice self-respect and empowerment. No matter how old you are or whatever went on in your past, your life can improve and your reinvention starts today. If you've been struggling to move forward, here are a few things you can do right now.

Beverley Glazer:

Ask yourself who can you say no to or what small boundary can you make? Write down one thing that people love about you and honor that and reach out for support if you need, whether it's a friend, a mentor or a professional. Don't be too proud to ask for help. For similar episodes on finding strength in adversity, check out episodes 104 and 108 of Aging with Purpose and Passion. And, if you love travel, listen to the Ageless Traveler podcast and subscribe to the Travel Tuesday newsletter. The Ageless Traveler is the number one resource for active travelers 60 plus and it's hosted by Adrienne Berg, whose mission is to ensure that you never stop traveling, and those links are in the show notes below. So where can people learn more about you, michelle, and buy your book, and what are those links? Share them.

Michelle Bishop:

So I am on Amazon. Choose you first, michelle Bishop, as well as the fact that my website is bishoplifecom and that's a great resource to be able to click through all my social media. Get on my email list, get in touch with the community All of my blogs are on there which will deep dive all my social media so that you can stay connected and we can connect as a community, because within the community of love and family, friends and other women, you've got this and you can live your best year.

Beverley Glazer:

And those links that Michelle gave out. They're in the show notes and they'll also be on my site, too. That's reinventimpossiblecom. And so, my friends, what's next for you? Are you just going through the motions or are you really living a life you love? Get my free guide to go from stuck to unstoppable. That also will be in the show notes, too. You can connect with me, beverly Glazer, on all social media platforms and in my positive group of people on Facebook. That's Women Over 50 Rock, and thank you for listening. Have you enjoyed this conversation? Please subscribe and help us spread the word by dropping a review and sending it to a friend. And remember you only have one life, so live it with purpose and passion!

Speaker 1:

Thank you for joining us. You can connect with Bev on her website, reinventimpossiblecom and, while you're there, join our newsletter Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Until next time, keep aging with purpose and passion and celebrate life.