Aging with Purpose and Passion

Overcoming Age Bias: Career Reinvention After 50

• Beverley Glazer • Episode 142

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“Overqualified.” “Not a good fit.” What are those rejections really saying—and how to turn them into job offers. 

After 30 years in corporate real estate and community development, Nori Jabba thought her credentials and experience would open doors. Instead, she faced constant rejection—code for ageism in the workplace.

Refusing to accept defeat, she contacted hiring managers for honest feedback. The truth was a wake-up call: many women over 50 were being dismissed as poor listeners, too quick to share wisdom without hearing new perspectives. That insight sparked a total career reinvention after 50, where meaning, balance, and fulfillment became more important than titles.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Midlife career transition strategies that work
  • Overcoming age bias and getting hired after 50
  • Job search strategies for women 50+ 
  • Turning “too much experience” into an advantage
  • Resume tips for older job seekers 
  • Confidence tips for women 50+
  • Finding meaningful work in midlife

If you’ve been hitting career roadblocks and wondering why, this conversation will give you answers—and a way forward.

Resources:

To hear similar stories on challenging the work environment after 50, check out episode #128 and #130 of Aging With Purpose And Passion and If you are  navigating the complex, journey of caring for a loved one with dementia, the Fading Memories podcast offers clear, compassionate guidance on everything from effective communication to managing stress and coping with grief. This podcast provides the empathy and self-care strategies you need to find strength and clarity amidst the challenges.

Nori Jabba – Author, Speaker, Housing Coordinator
Email: norijabba@gmail.com
Website: www.norijabba.com
Facebook: facebook.com/njabba
Instagram: instagram.com/bnjabba
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/nori-jabba

Beverley Glazer MA. – Transformation Coach & Host of Aging with Purpose and Passion
Website: reinventimpossible.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/beverleyglazer
Facebook: facebook.com/beverley.glazer
Facebook Group: facebook.com/groups/womenover50rock
Instagram: instagram.com/beverleyglazer_reinvention

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the podcast designed to inspire your greatness and thrive through life. Get ready to conquer your fears. Here's your host psychotherapist, coach and empowerment expert, Beverley Glazer.

Beverley Glazer:

Ageism is real and it's ugly. It can diminish your self-worth, your identity and your soul. Have you suffered ageism in the workplace? Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the podcast for women who believe in their dreams regardless of their age and keep thriving beyond their limitations. I'm Beverly Glaser and I help women change their inner game and achieve fulfillment in their business and personal life, and you can find me on reinventimpossiblecom. So today I want you to meet Nori Jaba. Nori is a seasoned professional with 30 years in corporate real estate and community development, and she went from feeling like a nothing to regaining confidence, securing a great job and a new life that she absolutely loves. Welcome.

Nori Jabba:

Nori, thank you so much.

Beverley Glazer:

It's great to be here, it's terrific to have you and it's such an important conversation to have. Nori, you were successful. You were in the workplace for a good 30 years. What made you go into consulting and really stop that full-time work?

Nori Jabba:

So I had three kids and it really comes down to that, you know, life-work balance. It was really hard. I was working full-time, I had this color-coded spreadsheet that I used every day to make sure that I kept on track with pickups and drop-offs and all of that and I lost my job. My company put our project on hold and let all of us go and hired me back as a consultant the next day. So I decided to start my own business and consult for others and give myself that much needed flexibility at home so that I could be there to manage my life and my household and my kids. So I did that for 10 years.

Beverley Glazer:

And that makes perfect sense.

Nori Jabba:

You know you were not not working, you were a consultant. And then what was going on? I had lost a big client and then another client, and you know it was a shock with the revenue. And so having that consistent revenue was just something I needed at the time. And then the benefits I hadn't been adding to my IRA for 10 years because everything went to paying expenses and expenses of the business. So I decided to go back to look for a full-time job again and no one would hire me no one.

Beverley Glazer:

No one. Did you maintain contacts though?

Nori Jabba:

Oh yeah, I had a fantastic network and I think I relied on that network perhaps a little too much, or took it for granted is a better way to say it. I had really important people as references and people that I knew. Everybody knew I was job hunting and I thought, you know for sure this network is going to help me and it did open some doors, no doubt about it, but it didn't get me all the way there. There was something else going on.

Beverley Glazer:

So what kind of things were people telling you? Because obviously you were applying for jobs, obviously you were getting interviews. What was going on?

Nori Jabba:

Yeah, so I would come in second. A lot, you know, with the new way of applying for jobs In the old days it was much more person-centric, human-centered Now it's computers, it's bots, it's AI and there's very little interaction with an actual person. Everything is online, and if you get a response at all, that's a great thing. So it was kind of a shock to not get any responses at all for a lot of the jobs that I applied for. And then you know, once in a while I get a response, yay, and get an interview, or even make it to the second round, third round, fourth round, thinking I've got this and then no, I didn't. And sometimes they wouldn't even let you know that you didn't get the job. You know, the whole hiring process is so different now. Communication has gone by the wayside, I would say.

Nori Jabba:

But you know, I came in second, I was told I wasn't a good fit, I was told I was overqualified. You know all of these code words for ageism. I was hearing them all and so I decided to stop and go back to consulting because it was really depleting my self-esteem and I decided to try to figure out what was really going on here, because there was something else. It was ageism. It was that I was a woman, it was really that I was over 50.

Nori Jabba:

And there was a third complexity there. There was the fact that I had been a consultant for 10 years and I learned that consultants it's kind of code for oh, they can't work well on a team or they're too independent minded or whatever it is. You go in the no pile. And then another thing that worked against me, beverly, was that I had taken six years off to be a stay-at-home mom A long time ago. I went back to work in 2006, but there was a six-year gap on my resume and a great job before I took that time off that I needed on that resume to show my experience. But it totally worked against me because if you have a six-year gap, boom, you go in the no pile. The bots won't even consider you. You're just an automatic no if there's a gap.

Beverley Glazer:

My goodness. And the pressure must have been huge for you, because at 53, you realized that you couldn't stay in this marriage anymore.

Nori Jabba:

So I mean that was a whole other reason that I wanted to go back to work is I needed that stability for my future, because my marriage was imploding and I knew that, to take care of myself and for both of us to be happy, I needed to think about moving on. So there was a lot of there were a lot of really important reasons. I needed to go back to work and I couldn't. I couldn't, so I stayed, and I ended up staying until 2023. So I stayed a long time.

Beverley Glazer:

And did you do anything to upgrade your skills Like what? What did you do? Because I think there's pressure everywhere, Nori.

Nori Jabba:

So first I decided to really understand what was going on from the employer's perspective. So I reached out to a couple of people that didn't hire me and said, hey, could we have coffee? And one of these was an HR director, you know, because she wasn't the hiring manager, but I thought that would be a really good person to approach and I really had wanted that job and I thought I had it. I really did. And she was a woman in her 40s.

Nori Jabba:

So I said you know, I've decided to write this book on women, middle-aged women, in the workforce and I'm hoping you will help me. And would you have coffee? And she said yes, and we met for over an hour and wow, did she just unload on me and share so much? And I think she felt it was a safe environment, even though I'm writing a book on this topic. So I'm getting the word out there, but it was anonymous, right, and so she just shared with me a few things that were really hard to hear and really hard pills to swallow. So that was eye opening and it was from that that I then went out and got the skills I was missing and took some training and changed my entire approach.

Nori Jabba:

What kind of things hardest thing to hear was middle-aged women don't listen. And so here I am, a middle-aged woman and thank goodness she was a middle-aged woman telling me this, because had it been a younger woman or a man, it would have been really hard to stay having coffee. I might have found an excuse to just get up and leave, or at least go to the bathroom and figure out if I wanted to stay, but I decided instead of, you know, putting my fingers in my ear and not listening, which was exactly what she said. You know middle-aged women do. I said you know, tell me more. What's really going on. And I use this to really reflect on myself, because I'm a talker. I love to talk, but I also have always thought I was a good listener, am I not? What does she mean here?

Nori Jabba:

And in diving deeper with her in the conversation, it was really clear that a lot of middle-aged women tend to have so much experience and also combine that with so we need to get the word out with our wisdom. We've earned our seat at the table. Listen to us, right, absolutely, 100% valid. But we also have to fight so hard to be heard a lot of the time that, at least for me, I know that I was guilty of not listening. So I would be at a table and I use this example at the job I was in, sitting around with you know, I think they were all men, eight or 10 different men and me and I had to fight so hard to be heard. Every time I opened my mouth I was shut down, dismissed, interrupted or my idea was taken and then, you know, somebody else would grab onto it and launch into their own perspective. So I found myself not listening to the conversation and not adding value in that way, in just listening, but looking for opportunities to jump in. So I wasn't taking away from that meeting anything new, growing from what other people were saying and, you know, takeaways, lessons learned. No, I spent the entire time like, can I jump in now I need to add my two cents? And having some great ideas, but feeling so unheard. And so it's this balance for women of being heard and sharing.

Nori Jabba:

And in this HR director's opinion, there was a lot of the jumping in and not as much listening. And so I took that to heart and decided, okay, I'm going to focus on really, what does it mean to be a good listener and how can I do that. So I really grew from that those words of wisdom from her. So the other thing that she shared that was tough is that there's reverse ageism and a lot of older women are dismissive of and I think this goes for men too, but we were just talking about women they're dismissive of younger people and that can be really hard in certain industries.

Nori Jabba:

So, you know, the tech industry, for example, is filled with younger people and the music industry my daughter works in music and, boy, when you're over 30, you're over the hill in the music industry. But you know, being able to listen and show respect for younger teammates, that was a huge takeaway and I took it upon myself to really shift on that and not just say, oh, I'm going to embrace and listen to younger co-workers, but to actually make that an intentional goal, to have mentors that are younger, to really learn from my younger coworkers and younger people in general, and I have three daughters in their twenties and I try to learn from them every day. They teach me stuff every day. But I started taking that and expanding it to the workplace and you know the job that I got when I first started my boss could have been my child. My boss was in her early 30s and I could not have done that and felt good about myself in a role with that, had I not talked to that HR director and been through this experience of writing the book.

Beverley Glazer:

That's huge. How did you just change that perspective? What made you do?

Nori Jabba:

that. Well, it was desperation and a realization that it was either grow or die. You know, it was either change or shrivel and I thought, you know, it's got to help, it's absolutely got to help, to help me get a job. So I just decided I have to change right now, and I think it was just an awareness that I realized, oh wow, I yeah, I do have some areas where I can grow, and maybe this was coming through in an interview.

Nori Jabba:

And sometimes when you're in an interview, you're with one person, sometimes you're with a diverse panel. You're with one person, sometimes you're with a diverse panel, and maybe I was coming off that way, especially in the diverse panels, you know, where there were young people. They might have thought that, oh, this person just has to share all of their wisdom and they're not willing to learn from me. Or maybe I made a comment, but it was really just out of sheer necessity that I need to think out of the box here, because what I'm doing, having the stellar resume, the awards, the 30 years and the great references nothing was working for me.

Beverley Glazer:

That's very important, what you just said, because usually when you go into a job interview, those are the things you emphasize.

Nori Jabba:

Yeah, exactly. So another thing that I came away with from a different person was this whole concept of corporate culture, and I hadn't really thought about it, you know. I mean I knew the corporate culture in my heart that I liked in a company, but when I was really desperately trying to go back to work and applying for, you know, maybe 20 jobs a week or 10 jobs a week or whatever it is, it takes a lot of time to apply for a job and customize your cover letter and all of this. It was like a full-time job. But I was approaching it more like throwing spaghetti at a wall, like whoever accepts me, I'm taking it right Instead of really thinking through. And the jobs were good. Right, the jobs seemed like a good fit. But was the company a good fit? Was the corporate culture really something that was a good fit for me? And I wasn't really focused on that.

Nori Jabba:

So I started focusing on that because my research that I did for the book I learned fit is the number one thing that they're looking for in a job interview. Number one, not experience, not how much you know or how well you talk, it's. Are you a good fit? So what does fit really mean? So I came up with this concept I called the fit model, which is kind of a play on words, but you know it's questions that you ask yourself about the company to evaluate and about yourself to evaluate if you are truly a good fit. And so I started talking about that in interviews to evaluate and about yourself to evaluate if you are truly a good fit. And so I started talking about that in interviews and I'm telling you, if somebody talks about what makes them a good fit or what they think would make them a good fit about this company, and they start talking about the corporate culture, they are much more likely to get that job.

Beverley Glazer:

Good point, good point, good point. And in this whole process you wrote a book called Keeping your Seat at the Table. What is that metaphor all?

Nori Jabba:

about. Oh my goodness, the table is the most perfect metaphor for this, and especially for women. Perfect metaphor for this and especially for women. You know, when we think about work and we think about our career projection and what it means to have a seat at the table, when I do PowerPoint presentations, I show this picture of a bunch of old cartoon of old white men at the table and you're at the other end and that's kind of what we think. You know you're invited to have this seat at the table. But what I learned through this process is that thinking about success and what the table means is completely different. It's no longer for me. Is it this corporate board table? No. So what the book is about is creating your own table, really defining what your purpose is and what you want, what success means for you, and then building out a table of supporters and mentors and coaches and people at your table for these various different topics, all based on this metaphor of the table. So you know, each chapter in the book is a play on words and you can go on.

Nori Jabba:

There could be a second book because there are so many ways to use this metaphor, but it really comes down to the heart of the table in women's lives. It is so critical to us for thriving and for happiness. It's where we nourish. It's where we nourish, it's where we get romantic, it's where we take care of others, it's where we grow and learn and feed ourselves. It really applies to every single aspect of our lives, so that's why I use the table metaphor every single aspect of our lives. So that's why I use the table metaphor. And so keeping your seat at the table is all about flipping it over, building a new table, not getting pulled under, which is about all these distractions that we have in life. Dancing on the table is at the end and leaning on others at the table, and it's really. I had so much fun writing it.

Beverley Glazer:

And today you absolutely love your life yes, I do. And you found a new job, and what are lessons that you learned?

Nori Jabba:

So this job, this job is not the job that when I started this journey and decided to go back to work after consulting, it's not the job I thought I would end up with. It wasn't even on my radar a job like this. I work for a municipality. I manage housing programs for them and I'd always wanted to work for a city but I could never get in because if you don't start your career with the city, it's very hard to jump in without municipal experience. I didn't really understand why. I just knew that that was the way it was. I'd applied for city jobs in the past and, you know, didn't even make it to the interview process because I didn't have that municipal experience except a stint in grad school. So it was kind of on my bucket list to work for a city. So through the process I had kind of identified that as something I always wanted to do, because I have a master's in urban and regional planning and yet I never worked for a municipality in urban planning. So it would be fun, right, but it wasn't on my radar because I would have had to go in at a lower level than I felt I was worthy of and I was looking for VP or director. I had run my own business for 10 years. I had been a director and I actually, in the job that I did get with a nonprofit with one of my clients, hired me primarily because the laws changed in California and for independent contractors. They completely changed the definition of an independent contractor and it made it really hard to keep consulting. So my client hired me and then I was sort of stolen away by the city that we had worked with. And cities tend to do that they steal from other cities. They, you know they poach good people. But I would never have applied for a job that was at this lower level or that. You know I would have a boss so much younger than me and here I just decided, you know I'm going to go for the other elements that are important about this job and it's not this straight line arrow going up. It's what I needed in my life at that time to allow me to have work-life balance, to showcase some of the skills that I have to grow and learn, and you know, working for a city there are so many different things you have to learn that only take place in government, and so having a government job, you know the big, big learning curve, even though the job was sort of levels below me. It was challenging and still is. And so, yeah, I just decided I'm shifting what my priority is. I just decided I'm shifting what my priority is.

Nori Jabba:

Also, through the process, before I really got into writing the book, I decided, if nobody would hire me, that I was going to start my own company. That here I am in Silicon Valley, I could do this startup. I had this idea for a tech company, that kind of combined municipalities and urban planning, and this was what I wanted to do. But I realized that through the process no was what I wanted to do. But I realized that through the process no, I want to be a writer. That's really what my passion is. I don't need to start a company. That was for my ego, because I needed that seat at the table, the way I had originally encompassed it.

Nori Jabba:

So through this process, I just ratcheted back what my career ambitions were, so that I could look at myself more holistically, and what I really needed to do to be happy. And it wasn't being vice president or CEO of a startup and working, you know, 18 hour days. No, it was having a job that fulfills me with a team that I love, where I can do some good in the community, and that's I'm not going to say it's easy because it's challenging, but I have enough experience under my belt and knowledge that I can do this job, so I have confidence. You know it's not. It's not a big lift.

Beverley Glazer:

What are some quick tips that you could tell others who are on the same boat? Nori, there they keep on feeling that they're not good enough, they're too old, they're not going to get back to the workplace, they need that job and they keep getting shot down. Confidence gets lower. A couple of tips for them.

Nori Jabba:

Well, you know, building that confidence is huge and that was a big part of my problem too, because it's this vicious circle, right Vicious cycle that you start. Your confidence takes a knockdown because you've been rejected or somebody may have said something in an interview or the reason they didn't hire you, and then suddenly you're depleted. And then by the next interview and it just keeps taking you down and down and down and you have to stop. You have to pull back and really look at what's going on and how you're projecting yourself. And I spend several chapters in the book really looking at building that inner confidence and strength. And for me, I realized it really starts with you physically. You know, being strong, getting sleep, taking care of yourself those simple things that everybody talks about these days are so important. And you know I have a chapter about strength and building strength at the table and building a strong table, starting with your core, and getting physically strong to feel more confident about yourself, getting physically strong to feel more confident about yourself. So, building that confidence and great self-talk. You know, get a therapist, whatever you need to do, because you do deserve this great job and you are special and wonderful and you've got to believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, I guarantee you that's coming through in an interview. So stop, take some time for yourself. Build that confidence. Feel good about the clothes that you're in. I'm wearing this red blouse because it's my power blouse. It makes me feel great whenever I wear it. I love it and it gives me confidence, so doing things like that really help. So I would start there.

Nori Jabba:

And then the second thing is really take a look at your skill set and where you're lacking. There is so much to learn in life. You know the technology changes so fast. Now AI is huge.

Nori Jabba:

I like to call AI ageism interrupted, because we can use AI to help us learn things so fast and get resources that we wouldn't have had access to before. So, instead of curling up, embrace it. Go to one of your job centers, like here we have. It's called NovaWorks and every metropolitan area has it. It's free, you can go there and they will give you assessments and they will help you get the skills you need. There are also so many online resources for free skills, and in my book I provide a big list of them. But there's just no excuse for not learning and be open to learning, and definitely never, ever, say I'm too old for that, because if you say that you are and that's going to come through in an interview too so be that person that learns everything, that is willing to learn new things, that embraces AI for the right reasons, use it to help build your skill set.

Beverley Glazer:

So what I'm hearing, nori, is keep going, stay positive, get your skills up to date, but better than that, more importantly, do not give up.

Nori Jabba:

Yeah, do not give up and take the time to feel good about yourself and take that hard. Look in the mirror and you know if you don't like what you see. Why is that? Maybe it's simply and I'm not a big fan of plastic surgery and hair dye. I actually stopped dyeing my hair as an experiment for the book. Would people treat me differently? Guess what I felt. They treated me better once I stopped dyeing my hair, so I kept. I haven't gone back and it's kind of owning your age and experience. Today I was doing interviews for a job and interviewing candidates and looking at the resumes I immediately could tell who was older, who was younger on the resumes, because the older people would not put their years of graduation of their degrees on their resume and I kind of I don't like that. I don't think it helps. It just means yeah, you're old and you're shamed. So I say, put that year on your resume and own it, own your experience and stand up tall.

Beverley Glazer:

Thank you, nori. So, in other words, be yourself, be proud. And Nori Ndiayeba is a writer, a professional speaker and a mentor, and her book Keeping your Seat at the Table. She shares an eight-step journey of growth and transformation. Where can people find you?

Nori Jabba:

Nora. So it's on Amazon. It's also on Audible. I recorded the whole thing myself, very hard to do and really part of my journey as well. So Audible and Amazon.

Beverley Glazer:

Okay, terrific. And all those links. If you didn't get them, they're in the show notes and they're on my site too. That's reinventimpossiblecom. And so, my friends, what's next for you? What's stopping you from getting more out of life? Download the From Stuck to Unstoppable and find out, and that also will be in the show notes too. You can connect with me, Beverley Glazer, on all social media platforms and in my positive group of women on Facebook that's Women Over 50 Rock, and you can schedule a quick Zoom to talk to me personally. Thank you for listening. Have you enjoyed this conversation? Please join me next week, subscribe and get these episodes in your inbox and drop us a review, and send it to a friend. And remember you only have one life, so live it with purpose.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for joining us. You can connect with Bev on her website, reinventimpossible. com and, while you're there, join our newsletter Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Until next time, keep aging with purpose and passion and celebrate life.

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