Aging with Purpose and Passion

Invisible No More: Joy in Caregiving

• Beverley Glazer • Episode 148

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For women over 50, caregiving can feel invisible — but it can also uncover resilience, healing, and even unexpected joy.

When her mother was diagnosed with early-onset dementia, Katrina Prescott’s life changed overnight. Exhausted and overwhelmed, she faced caregiver burnout, grief, and the painful realities of family caregiving. But in the crucible of caregiving, something unexpected happened: resilience, forgiveness, and a stronger mother-daughter relationship began to emerge.

In this powerful conversation, Katrina shares:

  • How caregiving after dementia diagnosis reshaped her relationship with her mother.
  • Practical caregiver support strategies, from finding respite care to practicing self-care for caregivers through conscious breathing.
  • How resilience through caregiving challenges created space for healing and forgiveness.
  • The inspiration behind her viral series “Things Not to Say to a Caregiver,” which has reached over a million viewers and opened crucial conversations about grief and compassion.

For anyone who has felt unseen while caring for a loved one, Katrina’s story is validation and hope. Her message is simple but powerful: “You’re doing the best you can in the circumstances you’re in, with the tools and resources you have right now.”

Resources  

For a caregiving story that inspired millions, check episode 139  and if you like podcast for women over 50 The Late Bloomer Living Podcast embraces change and sparks joy, to live playfully at any age.  Meet inspiring guest who share practical, real-world tips. 

Katrina Prescott – Caregiver Advocate & Storyteller

🌐 Website: katrinaloveprescott.com                                                                      💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/katrina-love-prescott-5799157                              📘 Facebook: facebook.com/katrina.prescott                                                      📸 Instagram: @katprescott                                                                                    🐦 X (Twitter): x.com/prescottkatrina

Beverley Glazer – Transformation Coach & Host of Aging with Purpose and Passion
📧 Email: Bev@reinventImpossible.com
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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion, the podcast designed to inspire your greatness and thrive through life. Get ready to conquer your fears. Here's your host psychotherapist, coach and empowerment expert, Beverly Glazer.

Beverley Glazer:

Have you ever felt exhausted and invisible caring for a loved one? Well, welcome to Aging with Purpose and Passion. I'm Beverly Glazer, a transformational coach and catalyst for women who are ready to raise the bar in their own life, and you can find me on reinventimpossiblecom. Katrina Prescott is an activist for caregivers. She's a coach, a speaker and an award-winning advocate who empowers others with tools to manage stress, find strength and connect with themselves in the caregiving role. Her viral series, things Not to Say to a Caregiver has reached over a million views, and it breaks the stigma and opens conversations about the caregiving role. This story will demonstrate that caregiving isn't just about giving to others. It's about finding resilience, forgiveness and even joy within yourself. Welcome, katrina.

Katrina Prescott:

Hi Beverly. Thanks so much for having me here today, katrina you grew up spending time with your grandparents.

Beverley Glazer:

What were those early days like for you?

Katrina Prescott:

them and from being in relationship with them. Um, they were very uh of their time. You know my grandfather. It was the seventies, eighties. My grandfather still wore a three-piece suit every day. Uh, my grandma had an updo and wore her outfit. You know, always a dress outfit. You know, always a dress. And they taught me really respect, respecting my elders, respecting other people. Pick up a penny if you find it on the street. That was big. They lived through the depression, you know. But you know I really, my grandfather lost his vision and had other health challenges. He had cancer and I really learned a lot. That was when I started to learn about caregiving, even though, of course, I didn't know that I was a caregiver at the age of four or five or whatever it was. But that was what was happening and I did care about them and I wanted to make their world better and I engaged in that and they. That opportunity of being near them. It did teach me that.

Beverley Glazer:

Sure, and your mom and you, though, didn't always get along, which is normal. You know mothers and daughters, but did that change when she was diagnosed with early onset dementia?

Katrina Prescott:

Not really not at first. It did, but not at first. It love my mom so much. Growing up, my mom was my person and then I became a teenager and an adult and things changed and we really couldn't see eye to eye and my mom was diagnosed not long after my grandmother died and I didn't really know anything about dementia. I didn't know anything. I thought my mom had vision problems. I didn't really know what was going on and it, it, it took me a while, like probably years, before I kind of chunked into okay, I'm the only one who can change here, she that has control of how they can change. She's changing and she has no control over it. I am, I can change and have control over how I navigate that change, how I navigate her changing.

Katrina Prescott:

And I really was somehow, by the grace of the powers that be, was able to let that go. A lot of things go, not probably everything, but allow for her to be her. And once I could do that, the tension dissipated, the anger started to melt away, the feelings of I really love this person and maybe now, instead of pushing against that my whole life, because I'm trying to teach you a lesson, I will, which is what I was doing. Um, I'll step into this and uh, or or, I'm right, you're wrong. That's classic right lesson and I'm right. But when I was able to let go, you know, that became such a gift to us both. It wasn't perfect. Nothing is but the fact that I allowed myself to love my mom and let my mom feel that I loved her. Wow For me, that was very powerful. Wow For me, that was very powerful.

Beverley Glazer:

What was the hardest part, Katrina, of being a full-time caregiver?

Katrina Prescott:

I mean, you have to give up your life for that. That's a lot. What was the hardest part? The hardest, I would say there's two hardest parts. I don't think there's one hardest part, there's two hardest parts. So one of the hardest parts is no sleep, right, so that when you're tired, everything's that much harder. Um, it's re. You just can't function. You know they use sleep as a form of torture or sorry, sleep deprivation as a form of torture, right, so you become somebody that you're not. It's really hard, like at times I thought I was totally losing it. Or you're angry, or you're emotional, and would you be those ways if you'd slept? You be those ways if you'd slept? I, now that I'm with me and mom's not here and I don't sleep, I prove my own theory I'm emotional because I didn't sleep. Um, so I would say that's really the hardest part, or one of the hardest parts. The real hardest part is the lack of help, the lack of support, and if that was in place I probably would have slept.

Katrina Prescott:

But really not having help, what does help look like? It looks like many different things. You know just the medical system here in Canada. It actually causes more stress. Medical system here in Canada. It actually causes more stress, and then that stress robs us of precious moments that we could be having with the person that we're caring for, and then they have to deal with our stress. So it affects that. You know it's really disruptive to the relationship, the stress. So you know what else does help? Look like it looks like being judged or misunderstood, hence things not to say to a caregiver. You know you should really take care of yourself. Well, I never intended to not take care of myself. The reality is is that there isn't enough support from the system available for me to achieve self-care. So things like that, but those that that lack of support, and that comes in multiple ways and lack of which can lead to lack of sleep.

Beverley Glazer:

So Of course. So what did you do? How did you take a break? Because this is 24-7.

Katrina Prescott:

Yeah, how did I take a break? We started to get some government support. I live in BC, so it's per province, I think. At first I was getting six hours a week, which is you know nothing. What are you doing? Okay, so I guess I'll take three, two hour blocks. That's what I did. And then are you going to have a shower? Are you going to lay there? Will you even fall asleep? Can you fall asleep? There's so much on one's mind, how can one even fall asleep? And then the guilt of not doing the things that need to get done, like maybe you didn't get your taxes done, or maybe you would have plus I was working, so I would work, or um, yeah, so back to the question.

Katrina Prescott:

I did start to get more home support. We ended up getting, I think it was 27 hours a week. Five times five is 25. Yeah, it was 27 hours a week. So I would take that in chunks. Uh, five hour, four hour blocks, and I would really just work then. And then eventually, um, I did, um, get private help. Um, you know, we got really this is crazy, but we got in a car accident, my mom and I. We got in a car accident and the insurance company actually started to give us private help and I needed it so bad and it was such a blessing, you know. And then from there I started to figure out okay, budget wise, how can I do this? Mom had a small amount of savings. I didn't know how long my mom was going to live, so it's like do you or what's happening? Like. So I eventually used her small savings to provide her with what I felt was excellent care. That's what her money's for. So that eventually happened more towards the last couple of years of her life.

Beverley Glazer:

So let me ask you when did you start to realize that caregiving was reshaping you?

Katrina Prescott:

Not just giving. Oh, that's such a good question. Good question, beverly. Good question. I wonder if I could.

Katrina Prescott:

I always call myself an accidental advocate because I didn't, I wasn't trying to be an advocate way which is a little more, um, maybe nuanced than a, than a protesting way, so to speak. Uh, and both. Both are needed, um, but I would say, you know, little things started to happen, like at first it was realizing what I spoke to earlier. I have to change me. She's changing. She can't control it. I need to control. Am I reacting or responding? It was kind of like little, little snip slivers of things. Um, and we have a senior's advocate here in BC and they asked me to review our home support survey and I think at that point that's really when I was like, okay, I'm doing something, my lived experience and sharing it could have a positive impact, it could impact others. That was really interesting to me.

Katrina Prescott:

So there were kind of two things going on. There was like the activist, me, and then the self-coaching. Right, how am I going to get through this? I need to use my tools to mentally do this. I had counselors, but none of them understood caregiving, so I felt further judged by them, which made things really hard. It made me feel worse, so I realized I had to use my tools. Okay, what are my tools?

Katrina Prescott:

Conscious breathing, that's a break. It might just be 30 seconds, but when we're consciously breathing, that's the only time we can't think, and not thinking for 10, 15, 30 seconds. In that kind of environment, the overwhelm and chaos that's a break. It might not seem like a break, but you do that 20 times a day. It adds up. So I guess those little things did lead me to the next thing. Okay, my awareness would shift. When I started taking these breathing breaks, I could respond. Instead of react, I could catch myself, I could have awareness. Did that really? Is that triggering me on the inside, or am I supposed to be triggered right now and I'm just reacting? Those little shifts, I think, were continuous.

Beverley Glazer:

Right. Does that make sense? Oh, it absolutely does. You have to shift your perception and just small little micro ways, but they do add up. But then mom passed and after caregiving 24 7, there's a big gap. How did you find yourself after that katrina?

Katrina Prescott:

yeah, it was so it's. Maybe I still am. No, I mean maybe it it, it it was bizarre. It was bizarre. You know where'd she go, and of course, then the things with death happen and that can take over your life. You know she had her own apartment, um, that had to be navigated.

Katrina Prescott:

I basically I was living there, um, but that had to be handled the paperwork, the all the things right, and that can take months and and I was exhausted so really for, and I was exhausted so really for, I would say, the first year and a half.

Katrina Prescott:

I was really tuckered out still, but I guess what I would say really kind of helped me was being able to do the show things, not to say to a caregiver, yes, I would say that having that opportunity that I'm so grateful for, um, really, and and using my lived experience and voice to touch other people and be like I see you, um, and also in a way to honor my mom, like my mom's suffering um, is potentially supporting other people, um, this is such a gift and and I'm grateful that I did that it is I still think about it. It's been three years Like so weird, my mom's gone, um, you know you have all this time. You have all this and everyone wants to. What are you going to do now? Okay, Well, I'm gonna. I don't know, I need a minute, um, and then you know, I let myself breathe, I I really did let myself grieve fully and that I feel like, opened the channel for other opportunities to come in.

Beverley Glazer:

Let's talk about that series. Things not to say to a caregiver. It had over a million views, so you're touching someone else's heart, a lot of someone's. Yes. What inspired you to even create it Because this was not just a lecture series, and a lot of them are this was actors. This is in snippets and I watched it and it's fun and it points dead on. So, as a producer, you pulled together those actors and you made this happen. Tell us about that.

Katrina Prescott:

Happy to do so and thanks for asking. Well, the idea had been floated. So my producing partner, jessica Fraser, and thanks for asking. Well, the idea had been floated. So my producing partner, jessica Fraser, and I. She was also caring for her mom, who was living with Alzheimer's, and a caregiver to her father.

Katrina Prescott:

But we would talk about these things that people said for years and other people had in our world had said that are that are going through other health issues.

Katrina Prescott:

Oh my gosh, you know this person said, you know we just it became in our, in our awareness. It became just very something that was there and we talked about doing it and when mom passed, pretty much right after, people would say, oh, you must be so relieved, you must be so relieved that your mom died and other things, right, well, you've got your life ahead of you. I'm talking like a day, like right, right. Then people that I don't even know that well, or people and jess and our other friend, uh liba, and I were sitting in my living room right after mom passed, probably the next day or something like that, and and I was like, if one more person tells me how relieved I must be, I'm going to lose it, and in that conversation it was like okay, it's time to see if we can pull this show together and do it, and some people might feel relief.

Katrina Prescott:

That's fine, but assuming that someone feels some way and speaking for them is the thing not to do, right? Um, there's other things that can be said. Like you know, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry that that. I'm sorry for your loss.

Beverley Glazer:

That's it.

Katrina Prescott:

That's all you need it can just be very simple Um, that's it. That's all you need. It can just be very simple and we don't know what to say often. So this show we're using a bit of humor. Hopefully it gives people a giggle to maybe think in a different way and know some things to say or give an opportunity of. This is how you could say it. You know it's, it's not, it's a tool. You know, hearing things to say, as I mentioned earlier, hearing things not to say, as I mentioned earlier is exhausting when you're caregiving, because then you feel like you have to justify yourself and your choices and and it creates more work for us when we hear these things that that are can be painful. So writing when we wrote this, it's okay. How do we lay this out and help people circumnavigate this situation? Just eradicate it.

Beverley Glazer:

Right. So what would you want someone to know? Who's caring for a loved one right now? One thing what would you tell them?

Katrina Prescott:

You're doing the best you can in the circumstances that you're in, with the tools and resources that you have in this moment, right now. And resources that you have in this moment right now, it's moment to moment. It's very hard and you might not feel like you're doing the best you can, but you are. That's the best you could do right then.

Beverley Glazer:

And allowing for that is very important. Thank you, Thank you. Katrina Prescott is a caregiving activist, a coach, a speaker and an award-winning advocate who empowers others with tools to manage stress, find strength and reconnect with themselves in the caregiving role. A viral series Things Not to Say to a Caregiver is breaking the stigma and opening conversations about the caregiving role. There are a few takeaways from this episode. Even the hardest moments in caregiving hold valuable lessons. Reach out for the tools to help you. They can become lifelines, and sharing your journey can help break the stigma and help others too.

Beverley Glazer:

If you've been relating to this episode, here are a few actions that you could take right now. Write down one little thing you need for yourself today and do it. Ask for help, Even if it's a small little thing. You need a short break and find one tiny joy in a day, Perhaps a little music or some food. Savor it For a joyful caregiving story that's inspired millions of others. Check out episode 139 of Aging with Purpose and Passion. And if you love podcasts for older women, the Late Bloomer Living podcast is where Yvonne Marches chats with inspiring guests who share practical, real-world tips for navigating midlife and far beyond. That link is in the show notes below. And so, Katrina, where can people reach out to you and find out more about your services? What are your links?

Katrina Prescott:

I have a link I try to keep everything in one place for people. It's katrinalovelprescott. com and the show is on there. I'm on there. There's lots on there. This can even be on there.

Beverley Glazer:

Terrific, and all Katrina's links are in the show notes and they'll be on my site too. That's reinventedimpossible. com. And so, my friends, what's next for you? Are you just going through the motions or are you living the life that you truly love? Get my free guide to go from stuck to unstoppable, and that's also in the show notes, too. You can connect with me, beverly Glazer, on all social media platforms and in my positive group of women on Facebook, women Over 50 Rock, and thank you for listening. Have you enjoyed this conversation? Please subscribe and help us spread the word by dropping a review and sending this to a friend. And remember you only have one life, so live it with purpose and passion.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for joining us. You can connect with Bev on her website, reinventimpossiblecom and, while you're there, join our newsletter Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Until next time, keep aging with purpose and passion and celebrate life.

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