Working Caregivers: The Invisible Employees

Bonnie Wattles of Hilarity for Charity: What Caregivers Are Still Missing

• Selma Archer & Zack Demopoulos • Season 1 • Episode 38

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0:00 | 30:04

We sit down with Bonnie Wattles to unpack what it really looks like to support working caregivers—without the fluff and without the one-size-fits-all mindset. From the origin story behind Hilarity for Charity to the growing (and often invisible) population of caregivers in the workforce, we explore why this conversation matters now more than ever.

We also dig into the real-life challenges caregivers face daily—balancing work, family, and emotional stress—and the practical tools, community support, and mindset shifts that can make a meaningful difference. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, unseen, or unsure where to start, this conversation is packed with insights that will meet you exactly where you are.

Episode Highlights

[0:58] - We kick things off and introduce Bonnie and her work in the caregiving space

[3:27] - The origin story of Hilarity for Charity and its mission

[6:16] - Why younger caregivers were historically overlooked—and what’s changing

[7:23] - The importance of supporting both caregivers and care recipients

[11:10] - Exploring HFC’s tools and how caregivers actually use them in real life

[13:16] - Bonnie shares personal advice from her own caregiving journey

[14:20] - Deep dive into the Caregiver Road Trip tool and why it resonates

[18:15] - Virtual support groups and the power of accessible community

[19:23] - What employers are missing when it comes to supporting caregivers

[23:12] - The real impact of respite care—and why it matters

[25:28] - Rapid-fire insights: myths, realities, and small actions that matter

[27:31] - Final advice for overwhelmed caregivers: finding community

Links & Resources

If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow the podcast and leave a review. Remember to check out our website at invisibleemployeeadvocates.com for more resources and subscribe to our newsletter for updates! We’ll catch you in the next episode.

Bonnie Wattles:

Having some flexibility around the supports and or the benefits. You know, I do think many companies have benefits in place, which are great, but oftentimes there's not a lot of flexibility, and maybe a one size fits all format doesn't work for every individual caregiving situation.

Jodi Krangle:

Did you know that in 2020 there were 53 million caregivers in the United States, and by 2025, this number is expected to grow to 62, point 5,000,073% of these caregivers also have a job. They are called Working caregivers, and they are invisible because they don't talk about their caregiving challenges. Working caregivers. The Invisible employees is a podcast that will show you how to support working caregivers. Join Selma Archer and Zach demopoulos on the working caregivers the invisible employees podcast, as they show you how to support working caregivers.

Zack Demopoulos:

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, from whenever and wherever you are checking out our podcast. Welcome to Working caregivers, the invisible employee Podcast. I'm Zach demopoulos

Selma Archer:

And I'm Selma Archer.

Zack Demopoulos:

Selma, how are you?

Selma Archer:

I'm great. How are you, Zach, I'm great.

Zack Demopoulos:

I'm excited to say we finally have temperature like yours in California. I think we're up to 80 in New Jersey.

Selma Archer:

Awesome. Congratulations, finally.

Zack Demopoulos:

Well, I'm really excited about our guest today. Well, a shout out to Lindsay. First of all, Lindsey George Rosner, who introduced us to Bonnie. But I'm so excited to introduce Bonnie and what she's doing for caregivers. Bonnie, welcome to the show. How are you? I'm doing well.

Bonnie Wattles:

Thank you so much for having me. It's delight to be here. We're so

Selma Archer:

excited to have you. We really are what you're doing is just amazing. So we're excited to share that with our audience.

Zack Demopoulos:

That's great. Hopefully we'll have a couple of laughs too as we go here, as you learn, as you learn a little bit more about Bonnie, you'll see why I said that. So Bonnie, you're actually in Connecticut. You're only a couple of states north of me, in New Jersey. So we always like to ask our guests where exactly you from, and is there something interesting that we need to know about where you where you reside?

Bonnie Wattles:

Yeah, so I'm in Ridgefield, Connecticut, and it's beautiful here. But what's interesting is most people do think I'm from Los Angeles, because our organization, Hilarity for Charity is really was founded in Los Angeles. So people are often surprised to find out that I come from Connecticut. And as you were talking, it's a beautiful day here. We finally are unfrozen from the thaw. So Happy Spring is here.

Zack Demopoulos:

Yeah, thank goodness, thank goodness. Though I did look at the weather, we're gonna maybe dip as low as 35 next week. I don't know who the heck knows, but hopefully we'll have some spring is here and summer around the corner. Well, welcome Bonnie once again. So we learned about what you do and and and your efforts through, through a previous guest, through Lindsay, and we were really, really impressed about some of the caregiver resources that you do. But first of all, before we get into all that, let's talk a little bit about Hilarity for Charity. Could you please tell our viewers what exactly is that, and how did you come about? Or how did they come about with this mission work?

Bonnie Wattles:

Yeah, special shout out to Lindsay juris Rosner, CEO of wealthy. She's an incredible advocate for caregivers and for hilarity, for charity. We were founded by celebrities, Seth Rogen and Lauren Miller Rogan in 2012 and as you know, with many nonprofits, this came out of a very personal experience. Lauren's mom, Adele, had been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's when she was 54 years old. And Lauren and Seth were in their 20s, and they were just starting to date and fall in love and start their life, and very quickly, they were thrust into the role of caring for a caregiver. Actually, Lauren's dad was the primary caregiver through Lauren's mom's journey, and so through their grief and sadness, they decided to take action, and they threw an event, because they're entertainers, and that's what they knew what to do. So they always say, if they were bakers, they we would be baking for charity, but they're entertainers, and so they threw a variety show. And what they realized very quickly was that young people needed a community. Young caregivers needed a community to come together and feel supported and to have connectivity in this space, and that's what launched Hilarity for Charity. We became our own 50501, c3, in 2018 you know, our mission really is to support caregivers right now, Lauren and Seth saw very clearly how daunting the caregiving challenge is and how expensive it is. For families, and they very much wanted to help caregivers right now who are in the thick of it. And we also invest in brain health, education and risk reduction, and we do that by activating young people all across the country to learn about their brain health and to become peer leaders. And then finally, we take advantage of the celebrity platform that we have to do some storytelling and really change the narrative around caregiving and around Alzheimer's and dementia. You know, we want caregiving to be a natural, normal conversation, and so we use those moments in press and social media and our events to to elevate those voices.

Zack Demopoulos:

Well, shout out to Seth and Lauren. We're noticing a great trend, especially when it comes to storytelling. Bradley Cooper, Bruce Willis, his wife, who we had the honor of listening to her speak at a recent National Alliance of caregiving event. Shout out to those guys, but shout out to Seth and Lauren for doing something about this. Do you, do you feel was there a certain like gap, or were there specific issues that they're hoping to address with this? You mentioned they wanted to build a community. Do you feel like there's a was there specific reason or need that they saw that? Yeah, I think

Bonnie Wattles:

particularly in Alzheimer's and dementia, it's really considered an old person's disease, or was previously, I do agree with you. I think everything is changing. And so I think for young people, Lauren really felt isolated. She would go to a support group, and it would be spouses in their 60s and 70s caring for a spouse, and she was like, I'm 25 and my mom has this. And so I think for her young people, that's where we started, was young people. And then certainly, you know, in terms of research in the space, for very long time, the under 50 population was largely ignored. That has changed dramatically in the last six years. There are research studies being done in terms of prevention and pre symptomatic people, but back then, really that, you know, the population under 50 was not being attended to, and so Lauren and Seth really wanted to create a community for young people so that they could feel supported.

Zack Demopoulos:

Makes sense. Much gratitude, much gratitude.

Selma Archer:

So Bonnie, your your organization supports both the caregivers as well as care recipients. Why do you feel that is important to address both sides of that equation? Because that's usually unusual. Most organizations, they either or one or the other, but to do both, why did you

Bonnie Wattles:

land there? Yeah, I mean, I think in all caregiving duos, it's hard to separate the two, and I think that's particularly true with cognitive decline. This is a disease that really requires very specific care and very comprehensive care. And so we see it as a Care Partnership, not necessarily a one way relationship where a person is giving care, you know, to somebody that receives it however it's being given. It's really a Care Partnership. And you know, the work we're doing in terms of caregiver training and caregiver support is really around having a meaningful exchange that's rewarding for the care recipient and the care partner, and it allows the care recipient to live with dignity and joy, and you know, a life still worth living, and also gives the care partner the caregiver, moments of respite and support. You know, it's an interesting question that you asked, and when I was thinking about it, it's exactly why we started the respite care program, right? Because it serves, it offers high quality professional in home care for the care recipient, and also serves the caregiver because it's respite, and it gives them a time to take a break, attend to their own health needs, their own social needs, and they just get that much needed break.

Selma Archer:

Do you find that your program also addresses the area of giving the care recipient of voice, because a lot of times that care recipient is just the subject of the behavior of the caregiver, and maybe sometimes they're caught up into situations where that's not necessarily what they want. So do you take the opportunity, or does your program address the you know, that opportunity to give a voice to the care recipient?

Bonnie Wattles:

Yeah. Selma, I think it's really important. And I think I think it's not that we're not doing enough. I think we're evolving. The more we learn about supporting caregivers and families, the better. We are at going deeper and broader with families, and I think giving care partners tools to listen and to accept what the behaviors are. These are behaviors that don't need to be managed, but they're really unmet needs. And so how do we give care partners the tools, the support, the patience to listen and identify what the unmet need is and how to change the care environment around that. And so that's what we hope to do with so many of our of our programs, and I can go into it more, but so our our community lounges are a great example of that. Those are sort of the perfect blend between a support group and an educational webinar. So it's a protected space, but it does give very specific training around all different kinds of topics, including managing activities of daily living, financial planning, or even like calm through coloring right like, how can you sit with the person that needs the care, and do a meaningful activity that's calming for both of you. So those are the kinds of things we try to support caregivers with.

Zack Demopoulos:

We do want to go do a deeper dive on some of those great resources you have. We'll do that in a minute. And by the way, we know our viewers, listeners, you guys are on the treadmill or you're running, just don't worry, we will put every link possible in our show notes so that you can access Bonnie and hilarity for charities. Great resources. But how about just generally speaking, Bonnie. As far as these tools, what are you seeing with working caregivers? You know, salmonized focuses working caregivers, one out of every five employees is a caregiver, a working caregiver, and so that complicates things. And you mentioned Bonnie, you know, more and more under age of 50 or caregivers, especially young caregivers. What are you seeing? How are you seeing that maybe specifically working caregivers are engaging with all the resources and tools that you have available. I think

Bonnie Wattles:

caregivers are, it's, it's unique to each caregiver, and it's really in, you know, they're engaging with our work when they can, and in bite size moments. Look, I'm a working caregiver, right? Like my father has dementia and is 91 and, you know, we just sort of dip in and dip out when we can, when we have the, have the time. And I think that's why it's so important to provide comprehensive suite of supportive services that people can engage with, you know, at the moment, that they can. And I think people are struggling. Honestly. I don't think there's any great way. I think people are struggling and trying to fit it all in and find support along the way.

Zack Demopoulos:

Just a quick question. Thank you for sharing Bonnie that you are working caregiver. Thank you. It's really important that you're doing all this, but you're also doing it from lived experiences as well as your professional experiences. What would be a tip that you would give if you went to the younger Bonnie before your caregiver journey. What's a tip that you would give some of our listeners, because we do have a lot of working caregivers that are that are listening and viewing our podcast. What would you tell yourself that if you if you were to change something or tweak something or give yourself advice?

Bonnie Wattles:

Yeah, I would say couple two things. One is self care is really important. And so finding the time for whatever fills your cup as an individual, whether it's exercise or meditation or, you know, a moment out with friends, super important, and don't feel guilty about it. And then I would say, you know, forgiveness, like we're not going to do this all. Well, not everything gets done.

Zack Demopoulos:

Well, love that. Love that many of our work. We have another series called stories from real working caregivers, and we've had that shared so many times. Give yourself grace, forgiveness. I love that. Love the way you phrase that. So now let's get into some of these great tools. In particular, the one I fell in love with is the caregiver road trip. I love it. I love how Seth brings a little bit of humor into it. And just tell us a little bit about that and and what somebody can benefit from by jumping on this caregiver roadmap or road trip that you have.

Bonnie Wattles:

It's such a great tool. It's an interactive, fully interactive, digital tool, semi gamified caregiver guide that really gives support at all points in the caregiver journey. So wherever you're at you can find a section that is helpful to you. I think that why caregivers are. It's really been, you know, the response to it has been really wonderful, and I think it's because one we just tell it like it is. It's in, it's in a tone and a language and a voice that's completely accessible, understandable. It's not clinical, although it is evidence based and steeped in best practice. Says and factual, but it really talks to you the way you would want to be talked to. And the story behind it is a little interesting. We have a group of young professionals that are volunteer for us. They wanted to be involved with us. They were caregivers at some point, or our caregivers, and they said that they had wished there was a guide. They wished there was a guide that would tell them everything that they didn't know, even to ask when they started on the journey. Together with this group, my team developed a framework for the guide, and then we took it from there. And so we've developed this guide, and it's been adopted by so many partners in the Alzheimer's and dementia space, and they've been sharing it with their communities. And so to date, it has 28,000 views, which is wonderful, where we're introducing new sections every year. And I want to say it covers a whole range of topics, including all the different types of dementia, how to get a diagnosis, what building your support team can look like, financial and legal concerns, palliative palliative care, grief. And the new sections we're adding are around home, safety and clinical trial participation. So when, when we hear a need from a caregiver that says, Oh, we would love to have more information of that. My team is on it, and we're developing the new section and rolling that out when we can sell.

Zack Demopoulos:

And I've been working on our project out for about seven, eight years, and we have to give you kudos. It's the most comprehensive roadmap we've seen. It really is thank you. I love that. It's easy to digest and there's some humor in it. It's but people need that because there's so many books on caregiving and so many articles and people candidly, people tire of just give me the bottom line. So just one more question. Follow up. So I haven't done it myself, and I'm going to, but does it, does it tailor based on your answers? Or how does, how does it? How does it guide you as you're going through this roadmap? Yeah, there's a

Bonnie Wattles:

couple of different navigation tools that you can use it. It doesn't have AI in it yet, but you can nav either in the sidebar or, you know, through a drop down menu, but you can really choose. It's like a digital book, so you could choose what chapter you want to go to, and there are quizzes embedded in it, and then it'll give you an answer based on your your quiz answers. But it's meant to be very engaging and easy to use.

Zack Demopoulos:

Yeah, I'm looking at it right now, and I just, I just love, I really, just love how easy it is to use. We're going to encourage, encourage our listeners and viewers out there. We're going to put that link front and center. Just play with it. Go on there and just play with it, even if you're not fully immersed in a caregiver journey right now. This prepares you before, during and after, which I'm really glad to see and thank you for addressing the post caregiver journey as well, you know, or or near end, end of life, because we tend to overlook that part, and we grieve not just the person we cared for, but we were grieving in the role that we had to caregiver.

Bonnie Wattles:

Yeah, yeah. We have, you know, we have virtual support groups, right? So that's another program I just wanted to talk about very quickly. And we started that because Lauren, you know, was trying to get support with an in person support group. And ours are virtual, and she said she would drive an hour and a half, and they were only every month, and you know, if she missed a month or had too much traffic, it would be two months before she got support. And so ours are virtual. They're free, they're every week. They're run by credentialed, you know, experienced facilitators, but to your point, so many caregivers stay in that cohort and stay in it even after their person passes. And so as a result of that, we've also started, you know, support groups for grieving folks as well as you know, anticipatory grief.

Selma Archer:

So Bonnie, our audience consists of a lot of employers and HR leaders. And we were just wondering, from your perspective, what is it that most employers and organizations are not doing to support their working caregivers?

Bonnie Wattles:

Yeah, I mean, one, I feel like there's so much hope, because I am seeing employers embed caregiving supports for caregivers, but I think that the one thing they can do is really just normalize the conversation around it and encourage conversations. I think many managers don't even know that their employees are in caregiving situations. I also think many caregivers don't self identify as caregivers, and so they may be experiencing a level of stress that they don't know why. You know, certainly parents don't necessarily consider themselves caregivers are always is so interesting to me. Usually you're thinking, if it's somebody ill, or if there's a parent, an aging parent, I think, you know, really understanding and listening, and I think having some flexibility around the supports and or the benefits, you know, I do think many companies have benefits in place, which are great, but oftentimes there's not a lot of flexibility. And maybe a one size fits all format doesn't work for every individual caregiving situation. I'll just put a plug in for caregiver PTO. My company does that. We have specific PTO for caregiving days so you don't have to feel like you're giving up an actual vacation day to take care. You can use up all your PTO doing caregiving work. So consider that as an option. I like

Zack Demopoulos:

to ask you already, given a couple of things that employers could be doing, I'd like you to I'll do the plug for you. How about donate towards organizations like yourself to walk the talk? I mean, a lot of organizations are really trying. They're trying to be supportive, create a culture of care. But I did get, you know, I did get, I do get your newsletter, and I did see, last week you guys did a great campaign on World Health Day, and you talked about how 40% of the caregivers report high emotional stress, and many face higher rates of chronic illness than their peers. And some and I we know this research, we try to evangelize this, this research, but you guys are doing a great job with that. What else is in the works as far as to help try to raise funds and help you? And how can an employer reach out and support you if they want to walk the talk?

Bonnie Wattles:

Absolutely, we would love to have support. Thank you for plugging that. You know we would love to talk to employers around program support, right? If an employer wanted to sponsor our support group program or our caregiver lounges, we have marketing opportunities for those types of programs as well as for our work with young people and brain health and prevention, that's a whole other area where employers can really get involved, is giving brain health education to their workforce as a way to help prevent this disease. Certainly, we can talk to them about educational opportunities for that, we have a digital learning platform called HFC universe. We have college chapters across the country, college and high school chapters called the youth movement against Alzheimer's. So all of these programs are fundable and or opportunities for people to get involved with us. And then, of course, we have our large scale events, and so oftentimes, employers love to buy packages of tickets and treat their colleagues or their their employer, their employees to a fun night out with Seth Rogen. So there you have it. Yeah, and

Zack Demopoulos:

to know that that ticket purchase is going towards the resources that you guys are providing. That, in turn, comes back to that employer and their employees. Is, is, is just it's, it's more than just feel good. It's, it's, it's, it makes sense. It really does. So yeah, thank you for sharing that.

Bonnie Wattles:

Yeah, thank you. Thank you for asking. I'll just add one more thing, we're happy to share the impact with the teams. So, you know, for us, we get 150 applications for our respite grant program every month, and we can only afford to fund about 20% of them, and so we can share real world impact with how many families they're supporting, or how many more families we were able to support with funding from an organization. And that's a real feel good for the employer and employees as well.

Zack Demopoulos:

Would it be appropriate to ask you ballpark, what, what is, what is one respite event funding look like? I'm a bottom line. Got a guy, let's, let's just get it out there, and then I'm going to challenge one of our employers to step forward. What are we looking at? The fund to support that.

Bonnie Wattles:

So one hour of in home respite care really equates to around $60 so you know, a $2,500 gift, let's say, will support 42 hours of in home care, or eight days.

Zack Demopoulos:

Essentially, employers, I'm going to throw a challenge out there that is, you know, that is a significant benefit for very little, little donation. And I say little because, look, organizations are fantastic. Employers support large chronic diseases and and other efforts in communities. But, but this is a caregiver crisis that Selma and I constantly talk about, that we really could help in respite. Selma and I could both speak and so can you, Bonnie, being that you're a caregiver, we could speak the value of what respite, respite could bring to a caregiver. Wow, it'll impact. We. Tension. It'll impact health costs, mental, mental health costs, physical, financial. So thank you. Thank you for sharing that. We'll put the link on there. Thank you.

Selma Archer:

Now we're going to have a little fun. Bonnie, we have some rapid fire questions for you. Are you ready? Ready? Okay, one word that describes the reality of caregiving today, complex, a small act that makes a big difference for a

Bonnie Wattles:

caregiver showing up. And when I say that, I don't mean hey, let me know how I can help. I mean listening, observing and then seeing what the person needs, and showing up with dinner, or going and doing laundry for the person, or going and staying with their person and saying, Go out and get yourself. Take a walk, get some lunch.

Selma Archer:

One myth about caregiving, you wish more people understood?

Bonnie Wattles:

Yeah, I think there's this myth that caregivers are superheroes, right? And so imagine being a caregiver with all of that emotional stress. You all just talked about saving the day and, you know, being applauded, but really what they need is help and support. And so I think that makes a big difference, if we just change the narrative around that instead of dismissing their needs. You know, by complimenting them or propping them up, we really need to be giving them support and tools and resources

Selma Archer:

fill in the blank. Employers who support caregivers are

Bonnie Wattles:

future proofing their workforce.

Selma Archer:

What really makes you laugh?

Bonnie Wattles:

Seth rogen's laugh.

Selma Archer:

Thank you. That was great. Bonnie, that was so much fun.

Zack Demopoulos:

Thank you. I gotta say this real quick, my wife and I have a favorite watering hole to shout out to. White owl tavern. There's a patron that comes there every time, and he sounds and laughs Just like Seth rollin.

Bonnie Wattles:

Everything so iconic. Yeah, it makes me laugh. That's great.

Selma Archer:

I do have one last question for you, and that is, if there is a working caregiver listening right now and they're feeling just totally overwhelmed with everything that's on their plate. What resource would you want them to walk away with, or what would you want them to hear from what we just discussed?

Bonnie Wattles:

Yeah, I mean, certainly HFC is here for you, and even if it's not an Alzheimer's or dementia caregiving situation, many of our tools are applicable, specifically the caregiver road trip, lots of tools and tricks in there for any caregivers. But I think, you know, really try to find community, because you're not alone, and that's what I would want people to know. So many people are in this situation, and oftentimes it's not talked about. But trust me, there are so many active caregivers in your network, and so find some community awesome.

Zack Demopoulos:

We cannot thank you personally enough, as well as your organization, Hilarity for Charity, for what you are doing on behalf of the 63 million caregivers out there, we can't thank you enough. Bonnie, what is if an employer wants to reach out and accept our challenge, or either just learn more about how they can support you? What's the best way for them to do that?

Bonnie Wattles:

Yeah, they can go right to our website. We are hfc.org plenty of opportunities to make a donation, or if they would like to reach out, just email info at, we are HFC and it'll, it'll make its way to me, for sure,

Zack Demopoulos:

very good. And the same thing goes for a caregiver. What's the best way they can learn more about

Bonnie Wattles:

they can they can go to our website, we are hfc.org and there's a caregiver tab. Or they can email care at, we are hfc.org

Selma Archer:

Thank you. Thank you so much, Bobby. This was great. Thank you for all of your insights, and thank you for joining us today and sharing all of this with our audience.

Zack Demopoulos:

So many great resources. We are so, so happy that you were able to jump on with us. And I really hope that, what was it? 28,000 views.

Bonnie Wattles:

20 views, yes, so far,

Zack Demopoulos:

yeah, we're planning to jump that to help you jump. It's gonna jump. We're gonna get a couple of more 1000 on there, all right. But thank you body, so much, really. Thank you

Bonnie Wattles:

so nice to meet you. Really appreciate the opportunity to share what we do.

Jodi Krangle:

Thank you for tuning in. Be sure to catch new episodes of working caregivers, the invisible employees podcast every other Tuesday. Please also visit our website, invisible employee advocates.com to subscribe to our newsletter, purchase our book and learn more about how we can help you strengthen your workplace to become more supportive of working caregivers. You.