Escape the Hustle Culture with Layla and Andreea

Summary

In this episode of the Do Life podcast, host Layla and guest Andrea Thomas explore the themes of conscious living, the impact of hustle culture, and the importance of community. They discuss the need to pause and reflect, the power of letting go of control, and the significance of trusting the process. The conversation emphasizes the importance of embracing change, breaking negative patterns, and maintaining a positive mindset. Andrea shares insights from her journey as a Conscious Money and Breathwork coach, encouraging listeners to find their tribe and be authentic in their lives.

Takeaways

Hustle culture leads to a dysregulated nervous system.

Rest is essential for productivity and self-worth.

Rushing often stems from a lack of trust in the process.

Letting go of control opens up opportunities for growth.

Doing things despite fear is a sign of courage.

Struggles are opportunities for learning and growth.

Community support is vital for personal development.

Adaptability is key in a rapidly changing world.

Negative thought patterns can be broken by focusing on the positive.

Assuming the best can lead to better outcomes.

Chapters

00:00 Navigating Life After Loss

01:40 The Rush of Modern Life

07:01 The Illusion of Control

12:15 Finding Presence in the Journey

18:33 Overcoming Fear and Procrastination

23:09 Understanding Struggle and Acceptance

27:08 The Power of Prayer and Manifestation

29:25 Letting Go to Receive Abundance

32:44 Embracing Change and Adaptability

38:24 Breaking Patterns and Limiting Beliefs

42:57 The Impact of Words and Energy

47:45 Assuming the Best and Positive Mindset

52:30 Authenticity and Community Building

Links

https://linktr.ee/atcoaching

https://www.instagram.com/iamandreeatamas

Transcript

0:01

Hi friends, welcome to the Do Life podcast. I'm your host, Life Coach Layla. And today I have a special guest with me, Ms. Andrea Thomas, the Conscious Money and Breathwork coach. She has done some amazing things in the short year or so that I've known her and I'm so excited to have her on the podcast today. So thank you and welcome Ms. Andrea. It's so lovely to have you. Thank you, Layla It's such a pleasure to be here with you and for us to have a beautiful conversation that can support those that are listening. Yes, I love it. So we were talking briefly before the introduction and before we started the show about basically the hustle culture in America and in the world. Since you've been doing a lot of traveling lately, you were just in India for several months and now you're in Romania. I know you're getting ready to go to Italy. So you're you're all over the place. And everybody's in such a rush. Can you break that down a little bit? Let's talk more about some of your thoughts and opinions on the whys of why we are in such a hurry to do everything. Yeah, it's such a beautiful question. I feel like there are a lot and a few deeper layers here related to why are we constantly rushing? And the first thing that comes up is I would say our nervous system is dysregulated. And because our nervous system is dysregulated and it's just used to go, go, go, be all the time on the go and in the doing mode, it has a very hard time relaxing. Even when you have a break, yeah, even at your job or whatever, isn't it this constant need and in the back of your mind, but I have so much to do. I have a break, but let me tackle something meanwhile. It's almost like we feel guilty for not being busy. Like the idea of just resting and being still and silent invokes this guilt of, I should be doing something right now. Yes, because there is so much always to do. And the reality is that there will always be our to-do lists, our home, our home, our job, in our business. There is always, always going to be a lot to do. It's like an never ending cycle. So that's why it's important for us to pause. and to be intentional, to take like intentional time to just rest. And maybe that's going to look like meditating for you, but that's still a doing. Yeah. Can you, can you challenge yourself? was talking with the, with the woman recently and she was saying, yeah, I have such a hard time to do nothing because the body and the mind it's programmed in such a way that you feel worthy. only if you are productive, quote unquote, only if you are doing. So it's really changing the core, the belief that I am worthy and I'm good only if I do. Yeah, I love that. And I want to pause for a second just to let that sink in because I think that's so important that we tie so much of our self worth to the amount of things we've accomplished or what we can accomplish. And I just think that's so powerful. So I love that you said that. So thank you for sharing. Yes. And you know, when I, when I started many years ago on this journey, I was exactly the same. I could not sit still. could not relax exactly as you were saying, Layla. Like I would feel guilty. I'm like, but I feel, I feel shame. I feel guilt for not doing. So one way I reprogrammed my mind there in that moment. I would tell my mind rest is part of work. And I correlated the two at the beginning in order for me to be able to rest. And not just that, but I saw it as an integral part of it. Because if you aren't just constantly doing and going, going, then probably you are spinning into the same world into the same circumstances, creating the same results and just having the same life over and over and over again on repeat. So if you are in a point right now in your life where like, oh, I really feel that I want to change, I'm ready for a change, I'm ready for a shift, I'm ready for a transformation, then you are invited to do the opposite and what you have been doing. So instead of doing, doing, doing... How about we shift it, we flip it, and then you start being more than doing. And that's going to be super challenging, I'm telling you. But start small, start small. Yeah, biggest. There was, did an episode on habit stacking and being productive. And it was, if you do a deep work session, whether it's 10, 20 minutes, two hours, you have to give yourself a break. And it's not take a break from doing this work and go do some other type of work. It's give yourself a break. Even if it's just five minutes to just sit in silence, it's so important to give your brain that option to reset and that space to breathe. And I love how you reframed that rest is not optional and it's part of your progress and you cannot be productive unless you give yourself an optimal time to rest. And I feel very called out on the meditating is also something else to do. Cause I often find myself like, I need to be at peace. I need to give myself a break. What do I do? I will go meditate as a. But then that, like you said, it's something to do. So it's fulfilling that need to be doing something. So I think that's so impactful. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. And the rushing part, you know, I find myself and I found myself throughout my life rushing a lot, rushing to get over with the project, rushing in my business to launch something, rushing, you know, and also when it's about like big decisions, big things in my life. And I had the awareness recently where I paused and I was like, wait, I'm about to make a very big decision in this moment and I'm rushing again. Why is that? So I went into an inquiry and contemplating why am I rushing? And what came up was that the reason I was rushing is because at the end of the day, I'm not fully trusting how things are going to unfold. Yeah. I'm not fully trusting that I am guided. I'm protected that God, the the divine, it's always there for me and it's all everything happens in divine timing and I'm trying to control. So rush, you can look at it also as a way for you to control, for you to do it before God does it. That is, that's such a mindset shift because that's so real. It is a form of control to rush to do things. You're in a hurry to get it done and you're in your masculine energy. You're very much like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to make this happen. I'm forcing it to happen the way I want it to instead of letting it unfold organically and receive the information, receive the process. You're forcing it. And that is very tight to control. Yes. So the invitation in those moments when you find yourself rushing is the invitation is to pause, to pause, just pause and read and just take a big breath in and even excel it with the sound. And ask yourself, where am I rushing to get? What am I, what am I rushing to achieve? Because I want to remind you that it's not about achieving that thing. It's about how do you go about the process and how much awareness, how much presence you have within the process. It's not about just rushing sprinting, sprinting somewhere, but then you lost sight of everything along the way. And I think that's so important because so many people, they put so much weight on the outcome, on the ending. And then when they get there, there's this sense of lack, this unfulfillment. And that's why they rush into the next thing to do because they never got that reward, that dopamine spike. Like, yes, I accomplished something. They don't take the time. And I know I'm very guilty of, will rush through a project, but I try to make it a point to embrace the outcome. So give myself the space to be like, okay, I did the thing. Let's enjoy this moment. Let's sit and be present with the fact that it's done, it's accomplished, I did it. But it is so much more important to give yourself the opportunity to be present along the way. It's sometimes, you you hear the old phrase, what is it? not about the destination, it's about the journey. And that's so true for so many people, instead of just focusing on the end, enjoy every step while you're doing it. If you take the time to be present and aware of what you're doing consciously as you're doing it, different things will unfold. I had a conversation with a really good friend of mine and we made fun of each other because Whenever there's a task at hand, she focuses on the first step very intricately and wants to have everything on that first step perfect and complete before moving to the next step where I will take a project and I see where I'm at and the end. And I want to know how to get to the end. I'm oblivious to the steps in between. So I think stopping to be like, okay, here is where I'm at. Because when you're present with where you are, even though you have an end goal in mind, you're so much more adaptable to change. And when things come up and new opportunities present themselves, you'll be more at a place of receiving those as opposed to, that's not what I want to do. I have to do it this way. When you're so tunnel visioned, you only see that and you miss out on so many different opportunities and things that could unfold. when you're just hyper-focused on the end results, when you can just be, so much more opportunities show up because you're open to that receiving part of it. Yes, experiencing the magic, that's what I call it. That's when you experience the magic of life through being present and enjoying the process. That's the whole point, you know, and so many of us, we have been tricked that The magic is found when you're achieve X, Y, Z. When you have a lot of money in your bank account. When you have X relationship. When you blah blah blah. No. The magic is created and found in each and every moment with presence. Yeah. And something you shared, Layla, was about the how. You know, it's like you set this goal and when you are rushing, you're like, okay, this is the strategy. This is how I'm going about it. This is how I'm going to do it. And the how, it's not your problem. And you know, I was, I've been studying Kabbalah now for a few months and it has been transforming my life. And one of the things he was saying in this course, it was that if you struggle in one area or whatever, several areas of your life, it's because you took the job of the creator. You took the job that God has to do, which the how, it's the job of the creator. It's not your job. Your job at any given moment is to be more aligned with the light, to be more like the creator, more like the divine. That's your job. How can you stay more in that energy, in that consciousness, and then you will see how things open and unfold so beautifully for you? Yes, I love that. of the key phrases that sticks in my mind whenever I have a project or anything I'm working on is remember your why. Doesn't say anything about the how. It's remember your why. Remember why you're doing what you're doing. The how will work itself out. There's so many phrases like let go and let God or let Jesus take the wheel. And even if you're not religious at all, it's kind of the same thing. Let go and trust in the universe or whatever it is. You can let go. Remember your why and focus on why you're doing what you're doing and what you want to achieve and the energy that you are attaching to the outcome, not necessarily the outcome. so much will unfold when you do that. But yeah, trying to control every aspect of it. Usually, I know there's been a part in your career we've You've opened up about this previously where you tried to force everything to happen and work in a specific timeline and it doesn't, it doesn't work. It just, it never does. Or if it does, it doesn't work the way you want. doesn't, doesn't feel aligned. It feels forced. It feels foreign. feels almost fake and inauthentic. And so when you remember your why you use that as motivation, not your game plan, not your. you know, whatever it is you figured that you're going to get from point A to point B, it's let go, let go and just, and trust. And that part is really hard sometimes for a lot of people. coming up right now, like people are going to be dead then done. And that's 100%. Us here that we are talking right now, we struggle exactly with the same thing. Don't think that we are like, we don't have this struggle. We do. We do. And I would say we all have similar struggles. all have the same struggles overall. Like when you ask people, it's very similar. Yes, we fear, like fear overall, worry, lack of trust in self. We all have the same struggles. So then if we all deal with similar things, what is it that differentiates people between them? What is it that differentiates those that are able to move forward and achieve things and be successful than those that don't. And I would say one of the main thing that helps them and differentiates the successful one, whatever success means to you, is that they know they are not their fears. They are able to get to this place of not associating themselves with the fears, with the emotions and then work through them, like move past them. Yes, work those emotions and the fears and do it anyways because I'm like, I keep having this quote in my mind that courage is not the absence of fear. It's doing it despite the fear. The fear is present and that's what means being courageous and I feel that we are in a world right now where everything is at our fingertips. Yeah. It's like, boom, a click and I have it here. Click. And we live a very monotonous, boring, sedentary life. And we are not faced with truly like the harsh realities of the world. And therefore we stay and we stay in our fears, which they're absolutely normal because our brain, it's still wired in the fight or flight response. It's still there. Probably it's going to take a few more generations to be worked through. So we don't continue continuously live in that survival mode, but your job, what is in your control and your job is to bring that awareness, to do the work. There are so many tools and so many things. There are no excuses anymore other than the fact that you are just not willing to do it. Help is everywhere. Yeah, I think that's so, so powerful. And I want to go back to what you just said. I was at a manifestation summit in LA a few weeks ago and Dr. Joe Dispenza was there and the, all the speakers, everything that everybody said that whole weekend that I was there, everything was so profound and impactful and beautiful. But the one takeaway I got that just repeats, it echoes in my brain is Dr. Joe saying, do it anyway. Do it anyway. He says, you know, he works with people who have cancer and he gives them a meditation to help them heal themselves. And they wake up days, they obviously they don't feel good. They're sick, their body hurts, everything aches. And you know what he tells them to do? Do it anyway. They do the meditation, they do the process, they focus on their healing and they do it anyway. No matter what excuse they have not to, they do it and they get the results from it. So whenever I'm just like, man, I don't feel like doing that. hear him in the back of my brain saying, do it anyway. And I use that as the motivation. Like if someone who's dying of cancer can force themselves to do something, so can I. So can you. So can all of us. And I love the fear is everywhere. Our brains don't know the difference between being locked in a cave with a Bengal tiger or standing on stage speaking in front of people. It's the same fear. Yes, that lights up regardless of what it is. And to be able to overcome that is so powerful. And I say on the podcast all the time, Usually the topics I'm talking about are things that I've learned about because I've struggled with and most of them still struggle with. So I think it's important to say, you know, yeah, let go and let the universe. It's so easy to say, but doing is definitely hard for a lot of people. I don't preach, I'm not perfect. I do struggle with a lot of things. I had a whole conversation with the lady the other day about procrastination. And I was like, you know, I did an episode on that. I'm going to go rewatch it because I think I need to remind myself. Yeah, and you said something key there. You know, we work on ourselves. We do all of these things because we hope one day we are not going to struggle with them anymore. And what I can tell you is that there are so many layers. We are literally like an onion. Yeah. And when you work on something, let's say procrastination, you work at the beginning on that first layer. and be like, okay, now I worked on procrastination, I shouldn't deal with it anymore. When you still have the whole onion, how do you expect not to deal with it anymore? And the whole thing is that you might not deal with it the same, like you might not experience the same things, or you might have the awareness faster. When you work on a certain thing, it's like, okay. I've done the work around this and now I'm able to shift out of it much faster. And that's the work. That's the work. The work. It's not that I'm working on this thing and I will never experience it again. That's bullshit. I don't know what you I've been doing energy healing with Jeffrey Allen. And he made the phrase he was like, you you clear your energy. And people ask, Can I clean my energy and never have to do it again? I don't want to keep doing this. I don't want to have to go over and over. And he was like, that's like saying, Can I take a shower so good, I never have to bathe again. That's not how it works. And I picture our healing journey as a spiral. So you start here. And whatever here is, could be So that's your bottom. don't want to say top or bottom, but let's just say this is your starting point. And like you said, but the onion, you peel it away, but you, deal with it as a spiral. So you get here, I dealt with this. This is procrastination. This is trust. This is control. And then you deal with it you go, but then all of a sudden it comes back around. You're a different layer. You're going through it from a different perspective, but you're still, you're still at the same spot. And every time you do, you go through it from a different perspective because you've changed and evolved as a human, so has the way you see those problems. That doesn't mean those problems don't ever exist. It's how you deal with them and how you interact with them that changes. don't, again, I did the podcast episode on procrastination three, four months ago and I was like, I'm going to rewatch that and maybe, you know, take some more advice from myself. because it's, it's a different view that I'm coming from. It's the same problem, but I'm coming at it from a different perspective from somewhere that's I've grown a lot more. And so it's not as prominent of a problem. I can tackle it differently, but it's, it's still there and it might not ever go away. It could. You could, I could be something I never deal with again. or could be something I struggle with on different layers around that spiral that just gets bigger and bigger as we get older. So I love both of those. Yeah, and what is struggle, Layla? Because you said I might struggle with it for the rest of my life. What is struggle? that's a really good question. I mean, struggling is dealing with it in a way that I find inconvenient for me. Yep. So you resisting how things actually are, how they are happening, how they are unfolding. Therefore, because you are not satisfied because in your mind you had an expectation that it should be, it should unfold in a different pace, in a different way. You put the meaning of like, I'm suffering now because it's not how. I think it should be how I thought it's going to be. So in order to release that struggle comes with actually accepting what is, and that's one of the first steps of creating any change. Can you acknowledge, can you see the procrastination? Yeah. And not judge it and accept, okay. Okay. Let me, let me see. What is this actually showing me? And really approach your struggles, yeah, because they are the meaning you give them. Approach them from a place of curiosity. like childlike. I wonder what is this keep trying to show me? Because the reason why we are keep repeating things and why things are keep showing up in our lives over and over again, it's because there is a lesson for us to learn. And until we are not learning that lesson, it's going to keep repeating. Yeah, I agree completely. There's been a lot of times where things keep happening and I'm like, okay, what am I supposed to learn right now? Because I'm tired of learning it. Show me and this is, again, I'm gonna bring Kabbalah in because it has such a big transformation for me. And the prayer I've learned there, the technology of prayer was whatever name you relate to as the higher power, yes, it can be God, divine, creator, whatever it is, but then you're gonna pray in a way where you're gonna ask for it to be revealed. What is your lesson? What is the blockage that you have that it's stopping you right now in this moment for you to experience your desires, your manifestations? Because when you have a desire, it's already yours. It was planted there by a higher power. It's already yours. You want that desire, that desire wants you. But then the only thing between you and that desire is what is blocking you. Because imagine that your desire is just here, lingering, lingering, lingering around you. And it's like, I'm ready. I'm ready to come. I'm ready to enter, you know? But then you have this shield. You have this blockage. You have the fear. You have the worry. You have the control. And the way to release those is through prayer. Pray for them to be revealed, but be careful. Be careful because I've done that after I've learned. In Kabbalah they are called Tikkuns, which is like your soul correction that you come with here on this earth. And I literally, I started praying and I was like, show me, give me all of my Tikkuns. I'm ready. my god. You weren't ready. my god, I think I got at least three big ones like that. Boom, boom, boom. And I was like, wow. First of all, my prayer works so fast. And then I had to have another pray and be like, okay, let's slow down a little bit. So get yourself ready when you use that prayer because it's very efficient because at the end of the day, God, the creator wants you to be abundant, wants you to have everything. It truly does. And it's just waiting for you to create that vessel for you to receive it. That is beautiful. I love it. It reminds me of a story. It's a little boy who has this tiny little teddy bear and he refuses to let go of it. He takes it everywhere. He won't hold on to anything else. And the parents have this big giant teddy bear. He walks by it every day, sees it in the window, looks at his teddy bear, he looks at this big teddy bear. He wants it so bad. but he won't let go of this little teddy bear. And finally his parents get him this big one and they go to hand it to him. They have it hidden behind their backs and they said, okay, give me the little one. You have to let go of it. Either give it to me or drop it. Like let it go. And he refuses to let go of it. And until he finally, one day is like, you know what? Tired of holding this teddy bear and he lets go. And as soon as he lets go, they're able to give him this big giant teddy bear that he's wanted for years. but he had to let go first. And that sticks in my brain because it's such a powerful story that we're all very guilty of. We hold on to our limiting beliefs, to our fears, to our doubts, to our worries. And if we would just let go, we could receive. And I think that ties back to our original conversation about the control and the need to rush through things and have things. is we're holding onto that teddy bear and if we would let go, we could get what we really want. Mm-hmm. Yes, but we need to create a space, no? Mm-hmm. In order to... We need to be ready to let go. Yeah. And it's again, it's, it's easier said than done. And I know that and I'm aware of that. And when we speak about it, it's like, yeah, it's, easy. That's what, that's what you should do. But when you are in it, when you deal with the situation at hand, whatever it is that you might go through. What I invite you to remember is that every single challenge that you experience, it's a blessing in itself and every challenge is chosen. It's not random. Nothing is random. And it has been chosen by your soul in order for you to grow and to elevate where you are meant to go who you are meant to be. Yeah, I think the the teddy bear story when you say it's it's harder It's easier said than done because it applies to so many things I mean how many times have we held on to a relationship longer than we should have because We're afraid there's there's nobody out there There's nobody like them or for whatever reasons we convince ourselves because this teddy bears comfortable. It's familiar we We know what to expect from it. Letting go, there's unknown. Are we ever gonna get another teddy bear? Is it gonna be good? What if it's a smaller teddy bear? What if it's not as, you know, there's so many variables and being able to have that trust and like you said, to dissect it and sit and say, okay, what exactly are the feelings and where are they coming from? And coming at it from a playful curiosity. I love the phrase, you when someone says, well, what if I never find anybody else or, you know, something in a relationship? It's like, what if the opposite was true? What if you found too many? uh What if the opposite of whatever you're worrying about happens? I love that reframe because it's so impactful because we get stuck in our negative thought patterns because our brains are programmed to... to remember the bad things, to save us and protect us from things, as opposed to seeing the opportunity. On the other side of fear is success, whatever that looks like to you. So being able to embrace that is how you move ahead successfully. And again, that word is very subjective, so. Yeah, it's, you know, it's a matter of everyone that's listening to really define what success means to you. it's not what the society has told us that you need to have a lot of money in your bank account, have a job, have a family and that's success. No, it's like very individualistic. And now I do feel we are moving and we are in a, in in a world with the internet with AI, with all of the advancements that are happening, where we actually, because so much artificial intelligence is coming and it's here, yeah, it's not just coming, it's here and it's just gonna grow exponentially more and more. What that does, it's actually freeing us so much because it takes a way that like logical that we had to use so much that is not in our natural and it gives us the freedom to be more in our creative selves. AI cannot create for you. I know so many people think that, I'm going to use AI. Cree is going to take away all the art. AI does not create for you. You create. It can help you implement, but it cannot create for you. I just love that. You can use it and integrate it, but it gives you the opportunity to be creative. And then it does the stuff that you don't want to do. Yes, exactly. It's going to automate all those like boring mundane and you know, stuff and so on. I honestly, I know there is a lot of polarity with it. Yes. Some people are like, oh no, and it's just a matter. It's happening. It's happening already. So are you going to resist the change that is happening the same how people, maybe some people used to resist Uber when Uber came on all the taxi drivers like, no, it's taking our jobs and we do not want Uber. Uber kept going and continued and it revolutionized the way we use taxis. No, it's the same with AI. Are you going to resist it? And then you're going to stay behind or are you going to adapt? You're going to see What are the benefits and really knowing that it's not there to replace us, but it's there to enhance us. It's like an add on like, yay, super. I have 10 employees now. Yes. It's not there to replace you. cannot replace the human self. Yeah, so when I do I do my podcast, I have an idea in my head and it's usually something I've struggled with or I've talked to a bunch of people that have struggled with similar things. And I will write out all the thoughts in my brain and I write them out. And then I give it to AI and say, can you organize this in a way that makes sense to people? Because I know it's there's a lot in here. Yeah. So I give it to AI and then it gives me neat organized bullet points. So can say, OK, I want to talk about this, this and this. the flow. would never, AI, write a podcast about change or, you know, that's not what it's there for. But it definitely helps me organize things. It's like having an assistant to save me the time and effort of doing all those things. But it should not be replacing your creativity. It should be giving you more time to be creative and tap into that part of your brain. Yeah, just my task manager. Yes, organize, like organize all of this stuff. Help me plan and... It's amazing what it can do for us. So it's just how adaptable you are because adaptability, would say it's one of the highest qualities in successful and abundant people. They are adaptive. I used to manage an electronics store and years ago, the older generations were terrified of smartphones. They didn't want to adapt. They didn't want to learn a new system. They didn't want to do the things and they rejected it and rejected it and rejected it for so long. And then when COVID hit, they had to embrace it. They didn't have a choice. And I kind of think of AI as the same where if you, you know, By then, they're stuck in a room, they can't call anybody, they have to figure out how to use this technology. And if you, if they would have had one earlier, you know, the grandkids could have come over and shown them how to use it and do the things as opposed to being stuck, trying to learn it when you have to learn it. If you learn it and keep up with it, it's so much easier than when you have to. So I think it's so important to be adaptable to change. just in general with so many things, not just technology or AI, but just being adaptable is going to help life flow so much easier in the long run because you're not resistant. It takes so much energy to be resistant towards something as opposed to just go with the flow. Yeah. And how I see it when you resist change, you resist life. Yes. Because the only thing that is inevitable in this world, in this life is change. Change has always been and it's always going to be. So the more you adapt, the more you accept the changes, the more you are embracing life itself. Yes, that's beautiful. Absolutely. Because you think of people who are, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this, but they wake up, they go to work, they come home, they watch TV, they eat their dinner, they brush their teeth, they go to bed, they wake up, they do the same thing. And that's comfortable. It's familiar. But is that really what you want? What they want? Is there more? What are they missing out on? What else could they be doing? Yes. you know, there are like each and every single individual is so different and their desires are different. And there are people who, one of their highest value is security. Security. And that means also probably being comfortable. And it's nothing, like nothing wrong with it. Like you have a job, like, my God, there are so many amazing jobs out there. Like so many people, like, thank God there are people who love working jobs. Like take me to each and every one of you. Because of that, a lot of things get done in the world, no? Jobs are needed and I'm glad there are people who enjoy doing jobs. It's just a matter when, when it becomes difficult. is when even those people in the job or whatever business whatever it is they have this feeling that I should make a change it's hard and I was literally having a conversation with with my neighbor for a few years now she's I know I should change my job but I am so afraid I am too old she's 50 and she's like I'm too old no one is gonna hire me That was one of her limiting beliefs, you know? So then I debunked it for her and I showed her the opposite, how actually that can be an advantage. And then just the fear of change. She's so afraid of making the change because she's been in this job for nine years. But then all this she talking about with her son, with her husband, it's about this, that, my God, I need to change my job. I should change my job. And this is the worst thing you can do. Like, you know you should make a change, but then all you do is complain and then you are just reinforcing over and over and over again the same thoughts and the same fears by keep talking about it. So it's a matter of like you either just shut the F up. Yeah. And if you're not going to make a change, then just be okay with it. You're just going to stay there, but be okay with it and just stay there. Or if you're gonna talk about it, then talk and ask for solutions and ask, what can I do? Give me some suggestions. I'm ready to get out of it because when you just stay in that loop and just talk about it and just talk about it, you just make it worse for yourself first and foremost. And after no one is gonna stand you anymore. It's like, oh, same story again. Oh my God, the story about the job again. Yeah, tell me. That brings up two things in my brain. My granny had this beautiful phrase, I love it. She would say, shit or get off the pot. And it was, if you were talking about, do I take this job? Do I do this one? If I would come to her over and over with the same problem, it was, I get off the pot? And it was, make a decision or do something, like do something. Do one or the other. Either you're gonna do it or you're not gonna do it, but figure it out. And then a friend of mine sent me a funny meme today that was like, True love isn't the person that you're debating on breaking up with every two weeks. It's your friends who listen to you talk about doing it every two weeks and stand by your side. That was true. Because he's in that situation where it's, know, she's this and this, she's this. And it's like, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna talk to me every two weeks about the terrible things that have happened and the awful relationship that. You feel like you're in or are you going to make a decision to change your situation because it's been a long time and nothing's changing. oh And you know, don't get me wrong again, I've been in exactly like the same situation with the relationship. Exactly. Like I stayed in my previous relationship for that was almost seven years, my partner that passed away. I swear to you that I would always like speak, my God, it's so bad. my God, this is not working. And just complain over and over and over again. And I actually have learned that the more we complain about whatever it is, your partner, your job, and so on, you are actually putting negative energy towards that, like towards your partner, towards your job. You're just feeding it negative energy. And then, your experience and your interaction with it is just going to become worse and worse. Right, because your words have power, they're spells basically. Yes. And so when you say the same thing over, what you're doing is you're programming your brain. It doesn't matter who you're talking to or how many times you've told the same person the same thing, you're programming your brain to see things that fit your narrative. So you're not going to see the clean house or the candies that they left you or the nice gestures because you're convinced that it's all bad, bad, bad. So you're going to see the on the counter that didn't get wiped up, the spoon in the sink that's not on the dishwasher. So you're training your brain to find things that prove your point and you're overlooking all of the other things because of it. So yeah, because you're It's like the negative on what's now working. And I realized and I've learned, especially I noticed I used to do this a lot in my relationships, in my romantic relationships. And I realized I started doing it in this relationship as well. And thanks God, I was able to catch it fast and learn deeper about it that I stopped it. And I was like, nope, I'm not going to talk shit about my partner anymore. I'm actually going to emphasize what is it that I love about him? What is it that I like about him? What is it that he does so well? Because there are always two sides, always. And I'm not saying if you are right now in a relationship where someone is like beating you and hurting you and who knows what, it's like, no, but the good... is this? No, no, no, that's not what I mean. But it's really breaking the pattern. Again, that's what it is, breaking the pattern and not bringing evil speech about anything or anyone because when you do that, you just attract it towards you. That's exactly what's happening. You judge someone about something. you're gonna experience exactly that thing that you are judging that person about. Yeah, there's the phrase energy flows where attention goes. So when you give something energy, whether it's or give something attention, whether it's negative or positive, you're getting that back. And and I think that's so important when you're in a relationship and you think about all the things that your partner does wrong. How much time are you focusing on what they do right? Yes. And that's so, so important. I made it a point years and years ago not to talk about my partner and our negative instances to other people other than them. Because it doesn't do any good. Because what happens is you go complain to all your girlfriends about every time they do anything bad. And then they're like, why are you with them? I don't understand because you haven't told them any of the good things that he does. If you feel bad and you feel guilty, like, my God, I trashed my partner again. And here I am continuing being with him and what my friends are thinking about it. And then you feel guilt and shame. And then you're just ruining the whole energy for everyone. And it doesn't do any good. You're not solving any problems by doing that. So I figured if I have a problem with you, I'm going to come to you about it and not anybody else. It's not, it's not anybody else's business and B, it doesn't do any good. I mean, you might feel good in the moment because you're venting, but I'm going to feel that, especially if I vent to you about it. And sometimes it's harder to do that. And I avoided that because I was avoiding the hard conversations, the conflict. But I noticed in this was a repeating pattern I had in relationships is I would daydream about conversations. And it was always worst case scenario. And my partner says, you know, the same thing, he'll come home and say something and he'll be like, wow, that was surprisingly like calm and peaceful. I argued with you all day in my work truck about this. And he came home and was like, Yeah. And it's like, Hey, can you do this? yeah, sure. Thanks for bringing that up. I didn't know that was a problem. I'll take it. I'll do better. You know, and he's like, That's not at all what you said for the last like four hours I've been thinking about having this conversation. Yeah. So this takes me to always assume the best. Always assume the best because our mind, yes, automatically goes into the worst case scenario, into the worst outcome. So can you flip that and be like, actually, what would be the best case scenario? And the reason we don't do that, the reason people don't do that. is because they are afraid to assume the best case scenario and afterwards for that not to happen and therefore experience disappointment. it's better for them to suffer in their own mind along the way and just create those worst case scenarios, then deal with disappointment. And I think like in their minds at the time, they think they're preparing, you know, he was having those conversations with me to prepare for that outcome. But I mean, like you said, what is the difference if if that happens? As opposed to what is the best that could happen? Yeah. I I have a trick for. I tried to be very mindful of the negative thought patterns in my head. And whenever I hear myself like daydreaming or thinking about something that's negative, you know, I sent a text message earlier and was like, they're going to read that wrong and respond poorly. And then I go into this whole thought process and I was like, I hear the GPS voice in my head and it says redirecting. And as soon as I can pick up whether it's almost subconscious at this point, I'll be on a thought process. and I'll hear the GPS voice say redirecting and I'm like, no, I was thinking negative thoughts for zero reason. This is all hypothetical. There's no reason for this. And I either change my thought process to something entirely different. Like, you know what? I don't need to think about their response to the text message I sent until they respond. This is a silly thing to think about. Or I will try to think, okay, well, what is... what is the best case scenario? What is the worst, what is the best thing that they could say or do in response to that and try to reframe that. And it's funny when you try to be consciously aware of the negative thoughts in your head and you try to train yourself to think the GPS voice, you'll think you're crazy because of how many times it pops into your head, you're like, am I okay? Why am I so negative? But the more you train yourself to be aware of those thoughts and to not think them as often, it doesn't happen as frequently. Again, it doesn't doesn't go away completely, but you're consciously aware of there's no reason for me to have these thoughts right now. What good is this going to accomplish? Let's think better thoughts and and that's so powerful. love that. I love the. Just know that when you first start, you might think you're crazy. you And you know, you might think you're crazy in a lot of things and that's okay. It's better if you you are crazy. Anyways, like what does it even mean to be normal? Being in a box, you know, and fitting into certain labels. So go ahead and break those, break the boxes, break the labels and be wild, be yourself. Because as we heard, everyone else is taken. And I don't know about you, but I feel like I'm at a point where I'm kind of tired of just, just like seeing kind of like the same things over and over. Like the way I am acting, the way I see people and I see the world. feel like, I don't know. It's like, it's time for a revolution where people come and like, they really speak up their mind with. authenticity with boldness where we share what's deeply on our heart without believing that, no, I'm going to be judged. They're going to think I'm crazy. They're going to know you actually, when you're going to share what's most present on your heart, it's when you're going to see how many people are going to rise with you. When you're not being fully authentic, don't resonate with that. They're not going to resonate with the fake version of yourself. So you're afraid to open up, but in not opening up, you're not attracting the right people. When you're open and vulnerable and authentic, you're attracting the right people that are there to support you and are on your level. When you reject that, You're not just rejecting that part of yourself, you're rejecting the people that can resonate with you and can build you up and create with you. Yeah. And it's scary. I know it's scary to be vulnerable. It's scary to speak what's on your mind, you know, what's on your heart. But I would say, especially now with the artificial intelligence, I would say that's the way, that's the way to go about it. That's how people are going to truly connect and resonate with you. So allow yourself to be wild, nerdy, whatever it is that who you are that makes you beautiful and unique as you are. Yes, I love that. think those are such powerful words. The last few things that you've said have been really impactful and very powerful. And I think that might be a good spot to stop this conversation because I know I personally feel like I could talk to you for hours. I think we have a few times. I think so too. So I will ask, do you have any closing thoughts or closing statements for the audience today? Yeah, I just want to share that you are not meant to go through this alone, to go through life alone. We are meant to gather together, to be together, to support and uplift each other. So I just want to invite you to Find your tribe, find your community and just be yourself. Just be yourself and allow yourself to be seen, to be loved for who you are. That was so beautiful. Thank you, Andrea. I will leave all of the links in the show notes. So if anybody wants to go deeper with you, do you have anything coming up, anything that you want to talk about? I'll let them know how to get ahold of you, but feel free to share what you're working on. And anyways, they can work with you. Yeah, so I'm working currently on a membership exactly to create a community and bring people together where we get to slow down together. We slow down together where we find the pleasure in the softness. and it's gonna be a monthly breathwork which is my signature the way I do it it's a very very unique and powerful done a breathwork session with you and it is amazing. It was absolutely transformational. I almost called you a transformational coach because the breathwork was so transformational. So I love it. I love it. You do such a good job. It's amazing. Thank you. Yes. And ever since we have done it together, which has been a few months ago, I would say my work has advanced even more because I just finished the eight week program and in that eight week program I've done like a weekly breath work. And before that I've done Mother Ayahuasca, which has opened me up so much. So I do the energetic healing as well. while I channel the breath work and it's just like it's out of this world. So powerful. love it. Yes. Well, I'm so excited for everything that you have coming up and hopefully we'll see some more of you. yeah, this has been amazing. Thank you so much for being here today and sharing your wealth of knowledge and information with all of us. This has been a great conversation. Like I said, I could talk to you forever. So thank you. you for having me. Thank you. And thank you for everyone for tuning in and for listening. Yes, let's go do life. purposefully. Mm-hmm. Yes.