That Mystic Podcast

The Ground Beneath Transformation: Acceptance as Mystic Power

• That Mystic, Rev. Dr. Joya • Episode 136

Share episode

Send us a text

Stop arguing with reality and feel your power return. This conversation dives into acceptance as a fierce, life-giving stance—not resignation, not bypassing, but the honest, grounded “yes” to what is. We unpack the difference between the clean pain of the heart and the sticky suffering created by the mind’s “shoulds,” and we show how radical acceptance lowers stress, restores clarity, and becomes the soil where real transformation takes root.

We trace acceptance from neuroscience to mysticism. You’ll hear how fight-or-flight floods the body when we resist, why the prefrontal cortex goes offline, and how Jung’s “what you resist persists” plays out in neural wiring. Then we widen the lens: acceptance as a spiritual gateway that makes space for grace and sets the conditions for forgiveness. From body image and aging to relationships and self-judgment, we explore how accepting what’s here now softens the inner war and opens the path to compassionate, sustainable change.

You’ll also step into a guided “Temple of Acceptance” meditation that is safe, steady, and practical. Use it to practice a sacred pause, breathe into the present moment, and let feelings move through rather than get stuck. 

NOTE: Please don't listen to the meditation while driving - it may make you sleepy!

By the end, you’ll have a few anchor phrases, simple micro-choices to use when resistance spikes, and a lived sense of why acceptance is the ground for awakening. If this resonates, share it with someone who’s fighting a hard moment, then subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what shifted for you today.

Find Joya at thatmystic.com

Join The Held Circle - https://www.theheldcircle.com

You can book a 1:1 session with Joya at https://www.thatmystic.com

SPEAKER_01:

Hello, Mystics. You are listening to That Mystic Podcast, and I am your host, That Mystic Joya. On this week's episode of the podcast, we are talking about acceptance and drop in to a beautiful meditation at the end. Enjoy the show. Welcome, beloved souls. I am so glad you're here. I am Reverend Dr. Joya. I just was awarded my doctorate in divinity. Ah, I wrote my paper on sacred music. It's so beautiful and I'm so excited. I worked really hard on that. So here I am. I did it. And today, on this episode of That Mystic Podcast, I'm going to be talking about something that sounds so simple, but it feels impossibly hard to do. And yet it's the key to transformation. I've been working through my own process. Of course, I've been walking my own process and especially really intensely and intentionally since Weston has crossed over and he's given me so many missing pieces of the puzzle. And acceptance for me is something that landed right in the beginning. So we're going to talk about acceptance. And acceptance does not mean resigning or giving up. And it's not bypassing pain. It's not pretending everything is fine, saying you accept something and you don't. That's not what I'm talking about here. But this is really the foundations as I launch into the mystic path, the book that I'm writing, Waking Up in the Game, Walking the Mystical Path. And that this is the foundation before you can walk that path. We're going to really dive deeply into the topic of this today, because the first one, of course, is awareness. That's in my other book, Practical Spirituality, that awareness is the key. You can't change what you're not aware of. So we want to cultivate awareness. And then once we do that, we move into acceptance. And this is a foundation pillar because here's what I've learned through losing Weston is that the through decades of my seeking, decades and decades of seeking and walking this path, you cannot change what you cannot accept. And what you fully accept starts to change on its own. And that's the real mystery of mastery, is that it seems like when it comes down to it, I of myself really aren't doing it, except for in those daily micro choices we make moment by moment by moment. So let's talk about what acceptance is not. And then we all have heard the false teachings of acceptance, which is settling for less than we deserve, pretending we're okay when we're not, letting people treat us badly because that's just the way they are, giving up on our dreams, and spiritual bypassing, which is disguised as false peace, which is one of the wraths of Mary Magdalene that she talks about the soul traps that we go through, which I'm going to do another episode on that next week. But real acceptance is none of these things because acceptance isn't passive. It's not weak. In fact, I'd say it's strength, it's the most strong thing you can do. It's not about lowering your standards or tolerations. We are not talking about any of those things when we talk about acceptance. Because true acceptance is fierce. It's really the mystic warrior stance that says, I see what is, I see reality as it is, and I'm not arguing with it anymore. And from this ground, the ground of what's actually true, I can finally act with power. Because we're not wasting our energy arguing with reality. And when Weston died in the beginning, I realized this right away because I slipped into that place where my mind took over. It made me have a psychosomatic reaction in my body. I could, I felt a panic attack hit me. And I felt it in my body, and I didn't realize what was going on in my mind until I did some practices through breath work, through some movement to ground myself. That I heard this voice that was saying, you knew this was going to happen. You should have stopped this. This should have happened. That should have happened. Why didn't he? Why didn't you? And all of those thoughts that were making me want reality to be different than it actually is, were creating a hell, a deeper suffering of my own making. And I realized immediately that grief, that there's two kinds: there's the heart grief of the loss and the true sorrow, the pain of missing that person. And then there's the head grief that kicks in with all of those thoughts and the ruminations that creates a hopeless, helpless grief around what can't be changed. It's a totally different energy. And so the grief was real, yes. The devastation was real, yes. But the deep suffering from mental torture that was coming from fighting what had happened was not going to be a part of my journey. And the acceptance didn't mean, of course, that I was happy. Absolutely not. And it didn't mean that I don't miss him, that I still don't miss him every day. I do. But it means that I finally stopped arguing with the one thing that I had no power, no power to change, which was what had actually happened. And in that moment of acceptance, something shifted and lifted inside of me. The grief was still there, of course. But instead of it being all-encompassing, and it was for the first few weeks, it began to take on a rhythm of its own where there was space in the grief where I could breathe. And so why fighting reality literally hurts us because here's what happens inside of your brain when you resist. Your nervous system goes into fight or flight mode and your body starts releasing stress hormones because your mind is telling it to. Your prefrontal cortex, which is the part that helps you think clearly and make wise decisions, completely gets shut down and goes offline. And you're literally burning energy, fighting a battle that you've already lost because the thing you're fighting has already happened and there's nothing you can do about it. Carl Jung said it perfectly. He's the one who coined this phrase, if you've heard it before, that what you resist persists. And neuroscience backs this up because the more you push against a thought or a feeling, the more you resist that thought or resist that feeling, the more neural pathways you are built building toward that thought or feeling. Isn't that interesting? Which is why we create what we don't want, by the way. It's the same thing. We're because we're giving all of our energy and attention to what we don't want. And so we create what we don't want because we are wired to create in the field and we are wired as creators within our own inner reality. It starts here first before it manifests externally. So we want to practice radical acceptance. A radical acceptance, the concept, first came about through dialectical behavior therapy, which teaches radical acceptance. And the creator of this developed it after her own profound suffering, which actually included having to spend time in psychiatric institutions. And radical acceptance means accepting reality on reality's terms, even when that reality is devastating, even when it's unfair, even when every fiber of your being wants it to be different. She teaches us that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Pain is what life brings us. There is pain with life, it's part of life's process. But the suffering in that does not have to be part of the pain. But here's where it gets mystical. Acceptance isn't just psychological, it's also a spiritual gateway. Because when you stop fighting what is, you create space now for grace to enter. Because acceptance is also what happens before forgiveness can happen. And this is not a talk on forgiveness. So we'll save that one for another day. But when you go through these processes of deep acceptance, then you're allowing for grace to enter. And you create the conditions for transformation that you couldn't have forced or manufactured. Acceptance is the love of fate, is what it's known as. And it's what the mystics have taught for centuries that everything is exactly as it needs to be, even when we can't see why. And that there's a bigger mystery, there's a mysterious force at work that's beyond our mental level of comprehension and understanding. So, how do we actually accept? How do you accept what feels unacceptable? The first step is to distinguish between pain and suffering. Pain is the raw sensation, it's the grief, it's the disappointment, it's the physical ache, it's the loss itself. And suffering is the story that you're adding on top of that. This shouldn't be happening. Something is wrong with me. This is unfair. I'm never going to be happy again. Why did this happen? Why did they do this? Why did I do that? Can you feel the difference? The pain is just the pain. It's clean. And suffering is us arguing with that pain. Second is to notice the resistance. Before you can accept, you have to become aware of where you're fighting. Is it in your body? You're fighting your body. I should be thinner, healthier, younger, whatever it is. Resisting aging. That's a common one I'm hearing from women now. Oh my gosh. Your feelings, I shouldn't feel this way. Your past, it shouldn't have been that way. Other people, they should have known better. Why did they do this? Or reality itself. This isn't fair. You notice that in all of those, you're shoulding, would have, could have. But just notice it and don't judge the resistance because that's more resistance. And you don't want to judge your judgment or resist your resistance. You just notice it. Notice it happening. Notice it arising. Notice what it's making you feel like. And then the third thing is to create the sacred pause. Because between resistance and acceptance, there is a pause. There's a breath. There's a moment where you can breathe in and just say, okay, what if I stopped fighting this just for this one breath? And you don't have to accept it forever, just for right now, just for this moment. And I did this last week to myself. I just went through this. And now I realize what it was, which is fascinating. And I'm gonna save that also. But my mind kicked up with missing Weston. I was triggered by seeing a video on my phone of him and I laughing. And I just got so upset. And I just said, I miss him so much. I want him back. And that thing got locked into me. I want him back. I want him back. And I started arguing with reality through that feeling. And I fell into this dark, deep hole of sadness that was really difficult to come out of. It actually took me a few days to pull myself back up out of the pain that I inflicted upon myself in that experience. So I finally just stopped and I said, What if I just allow myself to be sad? I am sad. What if I could just be this sad right now without the story that I want him back? How about if I just miss him so much? And that's the sadness. Not wanting something I can't have. And I'm so blessed that I do have a relationship with him. That I am cultivating how to how to develop and cultivate a relationship, a meaningful relationship with your loved ones that have passed is really hard work. Because I want to I miss having a conversation with him. But it comes in telepathically. I'll get an idea, and it'll just be like, hey, momulus. And I'm like, I know that's him. I don't call myself momulus. So once I accepted it, that arguing stopped and I could hold it. And I was bigger than it was because I wasn't adding suffering to the pain anymore. So the phrase that changes everything is to say, this is what's happening right now. Not this is what should be happening or this is what I want to be happening. Just this is what's happening right now. And can I be with what is? That's acceptance. That's the ground that we're talking about here. And when you finally have that power again, not power over reality, but power within reality and what's been handed to you. So why does acceptance matter for this mystical path of awakening? In my path of awakening that I'm creat that I've created, the acceptance is the second foundation pillar on the mystic path because without it, none of the other principles can ever take root. Acceptance is the soil and everything else grows from there. And the beautiful secret is that acceptance does not mean nothing changes. It means you stop trying to force change from resistance. And instead, you allow and trust that transformation is emerging moment by moment by moment, which it is. When you accept your body as it is, suddenly it becomes easier to care for it. You're not at war with your body. I'm in this one right now myself, and it's beautiful. I'm so grateful. When you accept your feelings as they are, they move through you instead of being stuck. And that's how they're supposed to be energy and motion. We're not supposed to get stuck in one emotion. And when we do, that's when we're wiring that to become our reality. When you accept others as they are, you're finally free from the exhausting work of trying to change them. Oh my gosh, trying to manage other people's lives. When you accept yourself as you are, you discover that you were always, already whole and already enough just as you are. And this is what mystics know. You don't change by fighting yourself, you don't change by fighting reality. Change happens by accepting yourself so completely that transformation happens naturally and organically from the inside out. It's change that's really soft because you're not fixing what's broken. You're remembering that you're already whole. There's nothing to fix. It goes back to the download I received in Egypt three, four years ago now. The only thing left to heal is your belief. There's anything left to heal. And when I can just accept what is, that's when the miracle of healing actually happens because our body, our life, is always seeking the fullest expression of itself if we allow it. And we do that through accepting where we are. It's a divine feminine principle. So I want to drop in to this now through a beautiful meditation. And I want us to practice acceptance not as an idea but as a lived experience. And I want to guide you through this beautiful meditation. It's just a simple spoken word meditation put to music. If you're driving, feel free to listen to it and say these words aloud so you don't get sleepy from the music. But if you're somewhere where it's safe to close your eyes and get comfortable, I invite you to pause right now and go do that. And go ahead and do that while I have a sip of my tea. Alright, so find a comfortable position. You can sit, you can lay down, you can do a walking meditation. Whatever allows your body to feel the most held. And we're going to enter into, I'm calling these temples, each one that we go into. We're going to go into the temple of acceptance. And this is a sacred space inside of you that's always been there, that will always be there. A space where everything is welcome, where nothing needs to be fixed or changed or approved. A space where you can finally rest. So I invite you to close your eyes and let's go there now.

SPEAKER_00:

Take a breath.

SPEAKER_02:

Relax into her arms, and this is where we begin.

SPEAKER_00:

No effort, no striving, just to be. Each moment has already been woven into the fabric of your becoming. You are not behind. You are not late. You are not broken. You are unfolding as slowly and as surely as rose.

SPEAKER_02:

The ones who disappointed you.

SPEAKER_00:

Can you allow even this? The self you judge is already held in mercy. The self you resist is already wrapped in grace. Beloved, the only thing left to heal is the belief there is anything left to heal. Acceptance is the atmosphere of God. It is the soil of peace where forgiveness blooms.

SPEAKER_01:

It is the quiet honey that descends into the heart when you stop asking, why me?

SPEAKER_00:

And you whisper instead, here I am. So breathe now. Breathe acceptance into the roots of your being. Let it rise up through your body, through your feet, your legs, your belly, your heart, your throat, and into your mind.

SPEAKER_02:

Feel a river of welcome flowing through every cell. Say silently to yourself, I accept this body. I accept this breath. I accept this feeling. I accept this moment. I accept this life.

SPEAKER_00:

No one to become just this the holy ground of now. And in this temple of acceptance, everything you thought you had to fix is already forgiven. Everything you thought you had to earn is already given. Stay here. Rest here.

SPEAKER_02:

Bask in the vast embrace of the one who accepts you completely without condition and without end. Acceptance is not the end of your journey.

SPEAKER_00:

It is the ground on which you see that your journey has been holy all along.

SPEAKER_01:

Take your time coming back. There's no rush. And know that this temple of acceptance is always here. You can return anytime you need to remember that you are already held, already whole, and already enough. Acceptance is not something you achieve once and master forever. It's definitely a practice, definitely a constant returning, and a gentle remembering that happens again and again. And some days are easier than others. Some days you're going to fight with reality like your life depends on it. And that's okay too. Even that can be accepted. And this is the mystics path. This is how we wake up, not by transcending our humanity, but by accepting it and accepting ourselves so completely that we remember the divinity that's there underneath it all. Very excited for this. You can go to thatmystic.com and get on the mailing list so you can be the first to be notified when it launches. So until next time, beloved, may you rest in acceptance. May you know yourself as already whole. And may you remember that you are never anything but light. From one mystic to another. See you next week. Bye. Thank you for listening to that mystic. As always, your likes, reviews, and subscribes are deeply appreciated.

SPEAKER_00:

Wishing you a very blessed and beautiful day.