Boundaries for Effective Leadership - Skill Builder

Leadership isn't just about managing others—it's about managing yourself with intention. Drawing from a powerful conversation with Alan Heyman, this episode dives deep into two critical leadership skills: setting boundaries and creating psychological safety.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Setting the Stage with Alan's Story
• 0:33 Boundaries in Leadership
• 2:55 Creating Psychological Safety
• 4:47 Leadership Skill-Building Challenges
• 5:25 Episode Closing

Transcript

Beki: 0:01

In my last episode I spoke with Alan Heyman about a misalignment and a decision to reclaim agency over his work and well-being. Two things surfaced for me during that interview and we will go deeper into those today. Hi, I'm Becky, welcome to Short Story Long. In this podcast, we discuss ways you can integrate who you are into how you lead. Today, I am offering strategies for building your skills as a leader. Let's break down how setting boundaries and managing your psychological safety is critical to your success and well-being. These two ideas came through powerfully in that recent conversation with Alan. His story, like many of ours, involved feeling the letdown of a new role not matching his expectations. Instead of resentment, alan became curious about what was happening, what boundaries he needed and what was the best choice for him.

Beki: 0:55

Alan had taken a high-profile leadership role in a global non-profit. He initially thought it was the dream job, the one he'd retire from, but just nine months in he realized he was drowning. He was in 45 to 50 meetings a week. Almost none of them energized him and, as an introvert, that constant demand left him completely depleted. What he learned through coaching and reflection is that part of leadership isn't just managing tasks or people. It's managing your own energy with intention.

Beki: 1:28

Meeting invitations are exactly that an invitation Invitations can be accepted or not. So many people I speak with tell me that they are double and triple booked in meetings, or they feel they have to accept every meeting. Sure, your boss or a VIP client sends a meeting request you will likely accept. Not every conversation, though, is a crisis that needs to be addressed immediately. Even when you know it's important, it's worthwhile to evaluate whether it's urgent. There's no harm in asking the question. Hey, I'm wondering if this is a today thing or if we could meet tomorrow. Thoughts on that. Boundaries may also include scheduling meetings with yourself. I worked with someone who had an aha moment. It was I could prepare for the meeting with me in the same way I do with others. I can have an agenda for myself and a plan. Then it's not as easy to dismiss and it has a purpose that keeps me on track, and it worked.

Beki: 2:35

Boundaries aren't rigid walls. They're the structures that support your capacity to show up for others. When I mentioned that meeting invitations are truly invitations and can be rejected, yeah, that's when many want to challenge me. I get it. I do, yet I still hold that. It is a true statement. What needs to be in play is psychological safety, that it is socially acceptable to turn down the invite. That phrase may get abused and overused, so I'll share what I mean by it.

Beki: 3:09

Psychological safety is about feeling, or creating the feeling with others, where everyone is free to share feelings and thoughts without risk of harsh backlash. It is about acknowledging others' views even if you don't agree with the point. It is about acknowledging others' views even if you don't agree with the point. What it is not is when everyone is walking on eggshells in fear of offending someone. The balance of this is critical, and in groups or teams it may also require discussion about agreements.

Beki: 3:38

In Alan's story, he recalled a moment with his first coach, a moment that changed everything. He recalled a moment with his first coach, a moment that changed everything. He was sharing the overwhelm, the ambiguity, the sheer weight of what he was carrying, and the coach paused and simply said this is hard. That moment of validation helped him breathe again. He felt seen, not judged, not fixed, because, oh yeah, he wasn't broken, just felt understood. It sounds simple, but for a lot of leaders, that kind of validation is rare and it's transformational. This is the essence of psychological safety and, as a leader, you can do the same. You don't need to have all the answers, but you can say I hear you, I see how hard this is. You're not alone in seeing it this way. When you bring these two practices together self-awareness of your own limits and the ability to create safety for others you build trust, resilience and sustainability into your leadership.

Beki: 4:47

Here's two skill builder challenges for you, if you choose to accept one or both. First, where in your day are you consistently drained and what boundary, however small, could help shift that? Find it and use it. The second option when was the last time you let someone know you truly saw them, even if you didn't fully agree with them? Maybe it's time to show them that kind of appreciation, Because leading like a human isn't soft, it's wise, and that's where real leadership lives. Keep finding opportunities to establish boundaries and create safety for yourself and others. Thanks for listening. If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who could benefit from it. Until next time, I'm Becky Fraser, reminding you to integrate who you are with how you lead. Okay, bye.