Short Story Long: Life Lessons from Leaders, Coaches, and Entrepreneurs
Short Story Long shares life-changing stories of growth, resilience, and reinvention from leaders, coaches, and everyday people navigating pivotal turning points. Hosted by leadership coach Beki Fraser, each episode explores the moments that shaped someone's path and the lessons we can all learn.
Every other week, Beki follows up with a Skill Builder episode that breaks down insights from the previous story into practical tools, reflection prompts, and leadership actions.
Whether you're building a business, transitioning into a new career, or learning to lead with greater purpose, this podcast offers real stories and practical strategies to help you grow. New episodes every other week.
Short Story Long: Life Lessons from Leaders, Coaches, and Entrepreneurs
From Burnout to On Purpose: Rewiring Work & Life — Chris Blount’s Story
Have a story or inflection point to share? Tap here to message us — we’d love to hear it.
What happens when the blueprint you've been handed for success starts suffocating your soul? Chris Blount's journey offers a compelling answer to this question that many of us face but few dare to confront.
Growing up in a blue-collar New Orleans family, Chris absorbed the message that a man's worth was measured solely by his ability to provide. "You work until you don't. That is everything that you're worth," he recalls being taught. This belief system propelled him through various customer service roles across multiple cities, eventually landing him a stable government position in Tacoma, Washington. On paper, he had achieved the American Dream – steady income, benefits, stability for his family.
But beneath the surface, something was breaking. The disconnect between his work life and his true self grew wider each day. While Chris prioritized happiness over tradition in other aspects of his life, work remained sacred ground where suffering was simply expected. "I did not think about my mental health or happiness," he shares. The toll became unbearable – he wasn't present for his family, couldn't connect with his children, and found himself spiraling into depression.
The watershed moment came after a mental health crisis that nearly cost Chris his life. With his wife's unwavering support, he made the terrifying decision to walk away from security and launch On-Purpose Recordings, a business aligned with his passion for creativity and connection. "Especially after that mental breakdown... I almost lost my life over this. So I think I need to make a bold choice, at least to try. At least to try, because why not?"
His entrepreneurial journey hasn't been smooth – he's faced everything from equipment theft to difficult clients – but the freedom to define success on his own terms has been worth every challenge. "I can enjoy what I want to do, I can get paid for stuff that I like, and that to me is the new American dream – to be able to enjoy life as what it is."
Whether you're questioning your career path or simply feeling the weight of expectations that no longer fit, Chris's story reminds us that sometimes the bravest move is walking away from what no longer serves us. What might be possible if you had the courage to rewrite your own definition of success? Listen now and join the conversation about integrating who you truly are into how you lead your life.
You can connect with Chris:
Instagram: @onpurposerecordings
Website: www.onpurposerecordings.com
Connect with Beki on LinkedIn: Linkedin.com/in/BekiFraser
Learn more about her coaching: TheIntrovertedSkeptic.com
Follow Short Story Long's LinkedIn Page: Linkedin.com/showcase/shortstorylongpod
Get her book, C.O.A.C.H. Y.O.U.: The Introverted Skeptic’s Guide to Leadership - Amazon
Short Story Long is produced by Crowned Culture Media LLC
especially after that mental breakdown, that was the moment of all right. I almost lost my life over this. So I think I need to make a bold choice, at least to try. At least to try, because why not? Yeah. And so sometimes you have to make really brave moves that make you feel uncomfortable but are ultimately better for you. And I did not want to quit that job Not that I was happy there it's just it's the paycheck, it's the stability.
Speaker 2:Hi, I'm Becky. Welcome to Short Story Long. In this podcast, we discuss ways you can integrate who you are into how you lead. There are times when we realize the path we're on is no longer ours to walk. The rules we followed, the expectations we've carried and the identities we've worn start to feel too small for who we are becoming. That moment, while uncomfortable, is also powerful. It's the invitation to break free from old definitions of success and step boldly into something truer.
Speaker 2:With today's guest, we explore what it takes to walk away from security that no longer serves us, to challenge the stories we've been handed and to create a life built on purpose rather than pressure. It's about courage, resilience and the conviction that we get to define our own worth. Today, I'm joined by Chris Blunt, who is an artist, writer and podcaster from New Orleans. By way of Tacoma Washington, he started his creative journey in hip-hop and has since evolved into podcasting and studio management. He started on-purpose recordings as a way to work for himself and help others achieve their dreams of recording and creating art. Chris, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Thank you very much. Lovely intro. I love it.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thank you, you know it's great to have good material to write.
Speaker 1:This sounds so official.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that, thank you. You know it's great to have good material to write. This sounds so official. I appreciate that and you know we did give you fair warning that we would be talking about a specific inflection point in your life and I'm really excited to be able to talk about this, explore it and then really just have that discussion right about where it has gone for you since that particular point in time and the journey since then has gone for you since that particular point in time and the journey since then. And I guess what I'd love to do is just start us by defining what that inflection point looked like. So can you share with the listeners, just in a general high level, what was the inflection point that we'll be talking about today?
Speaker 1:All right, mine is mostly built around restructuring my life and how my expectations and things of how I grew up versus how I choose to live my life now, especially when it comes to being a professional. You know, I come from a very blue collar family and the whole thing is you are a provider. That is your worth as a man. You work until you don't. That is everything that you're worth, right, and I had that pressure on me for years. And then I had these moments where it was sort of like a breaking point, where I did not see myself really surviving that in a healthy fashion and I decided to go against the grain and go towards my dreams or and go towards the things that I really want to do.
Speaker 2:That started on purpose recordings and that's how I end up here now. Yeah, yeah, that's amazing and it is interesting in the way that we grow up. I, too, came from blue collar background, right Farm girl, all that kind of stuff, and it's. It's interesting how there are beliefs and expectations we have of ourselves throughout our lives that, if we don't question them, can really take a piece of our soul away from us. So I'm really excited to have this conversation with you and just understand all of the ramifications. So talk to me a little bit about before you made this change. What kind of work were you doing? What was going on for you?
Speaker 1:All right. So I was always work focused. I think that when I was young I came up from a lower middle class family, so it was a way of helping out my family and initially, you know, I had I was a grocery store in high school and so I I worked and it felt good to earn money that I made from hard work, and I think that was always encouraged by others too. So you get money, we're like, oh, you're getting money, or he's working, and what I would hear and I'm thinking about this from a reflective standpoint, because the compliments that I used to see that men received had everything to do with what they provided and how they worked. So either they, you know, oh, he fits my car, or he brings home a check Like that's a hardworking gentleman. It was never really about who the people were or how they felt as people, and I think that was one of the core things that caused me to ignore the whole mental health aspect. It's just, this is what you did, so you know.
Speaker 1:I went to college for a little bit. That was okay and I ended up working and getting involved in hotels and so I got into hotel management. I worked my way up from a bailman to a manager and I just knew customer service well. I worked in the up from a bailman to a manager and I just knew customer service well. I worked in the French Quarter in New Orleans and if anybody knows that, it can be very intense.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:It's not like my job was boring, it was definitely moments of granted high stress but also camaraderie. You learn to build community, you learn to work with people who are totally different from you, and in that part I was very fulfilled as a young kid growing up, you know, into an adult male, and so that was one of the things that kind of kept me going, and also just getting that level of reassurance from outside sources, the oh Chris kept a job, because the job I had I kept for a long time.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And so then I moved around. I moved to Chicago, lived in Chicago for four years. I got you know, got, became an adult. I always tell people I became a real adult in Chicago. I had no safety net, but the time I moved I moved to Chicago a month before Hurricane Katrina, so I still lost my stuff but, um, uh, because it was in storage, it was supposed to move up and then it was like there's no storage.
Speaker 1:So, uh, so it was a way of kind of removing the safety net from me and having this whole new world. And then you know, living out there, growing up, getting married, uh, living in, moving to Dallas and then switching it up, cause I didn't do hotels anymore but I still did customer service.
Speaker 1:And then eventually um moving out here to Tacoma Washington where I would work for the city and while it was, it was definitely more. It was probably a more cush, like it wasn't as traumatic because I didn't have to deal with hotel guests and a lot of things I had to deal with the people of the city.
Speaker 2:Right, the drama is a little bit different right when you're doing hotel management in New Orleans particularly. I'm imagining Mardi Gras might have been an experience in and of itself.
Speaker 1:I still do not like Mardi Gras might have been an experience in and of itself.
Speaker 2:Still do not like Mardi Gras and even in the off-season piece of things, I'm sure that there were still interesting and engaging people coming in and all of those experiences. And then I mean Chicago is not quite New Orleans in terms of that kind of activity but at the same time more of that fly by the seat of your pants, a little bit in terms of who you're interacting with, where, city, I'm guessing here. So you tell me, a little bit more predictable in some respects. But how did the pressure shift, would you say?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a great question. I would say that what I've learned is that the people match the weather. I think that in New Orleans it's pretty hot and humid. We don't have time to play with you. We are very honest, right.
Speaker 1:And charismatic in a way, and so you'll get told off or whatever, and it's with a smile and then a joke In Chicago, the weather's harsh and so are the people. The weather's harsh and so are the people. So they'd be like you know, I get a complaint. They were like hey, what's your name? I'd be like it's Chris F, you Chris. Personally.
Speaker 2:I'm like yo, wow, okay, well, thanks.
Speaker 1:Have a good day, chicago gave me that kind of thick skin when I moved, when we moved to Chicago fresh out of the South you know we're all about manners and all the things and I remember walking downtown and I was like good morning. And the person was like I don't know you. And I was so hurt. Oh my God, that's so mean. And three years later I'm just like, oh yeah, screw everybody, it's cool.
Speaker 2:I don't speak to people anymore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's go down the street. So they gave me thick skin and I think I learned how to navigate different crowds of people. You know, I think people adjust and New Orleans is a magical city because people adjust to our lifestyle in a sense. So everybody kind of cuts loose. You get people that, generally at least, they try to be in a good mood, right.
Speaker 2:In.
Speaker 1:Chicago it was very much everyday people. You get your business types. It gets a little bit more complex when it comes to people, and so that taught me how to deal with different cases and scenarios and I appreciate my experience in Chicago. It opened my mind up, it opened my world and I will always appreciate it. So that's why. That's why I loved it. Um, people are people at the end of the day, like I, even out here when I worked in customer service out here, it was still some of the same people, but it was very much a lot of it. You can tell. A lot of people went to therapy and so it was like listen, I know I don't want to trigger you, man, but F this and I'm like, oh okay, all right, I get.
Speaker 2:I get a warning that's awesome.
Speaker 1:I like that about you guys, you know.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I don't take the direct hit immediately. Instead, I get to have this warning shot so I can back up a little bit before true impact is coming my way. And yeah, and also that I know this is my stuff, not your stuff, so we're just right, exactly, and it's just one of those ways that conversations of the same nature can take a different tone. And yet one of the things that you were describing earlier, as you approached this change in your life, was wow, things started getting harder. What was it that shifted for you that started making some of these things so much harder?
Speaker 1:I think, the lack of the ability to balance my life and work life. There was no peace. I'm married and I have three kids, so my oldest child is special needs, he's nonverbal. He's going to be my favorite child, so I'm taking care of my children, I'm dealing with life and all the things that go around it, and then I'm working at a high stage job because, yes, it's the city, but there's so much that goes on and there's a lot of corporate politics that happen right there's a lot of micromanagement and there's microaggressions, All the things that go along with working in the office with people, and I think at the time it just became so overwhelming and what I was always taught is just you suck it up.
Speaker 1:This is life. It's not supposed to be fair.
Speaker 2:This is why they call it work. Yeah, this is why they call it work.
Speaker 1:It's supposed to be fair, I did not think about my mental health or happiness per se, and it's weird because it was a contrast to other aspects of my life. In other aspects of my life, I am all about happiness over tradition. It was interesting that when it came to something like a job, I turned that off, you know, and I put that. And then there's this kind of martyrism that comes with working hard to support your family, but after a while I could not effectively support my family because I was working so hard and not necessarily supporting from a financial standpoint. I wasn't there presently. You know, you work and then you come home and you're trying to nurse the issues that you're having the whole time. I was drinking more right Not to say that I had a drinking problem, but it's like you're not present.
Speaker 2:Right. The container for your family was already drained by work by the time that you got back home.
Speaker 1:Yes, so I don't want to hear about my child's day.
Speaker 2:I don't have emotional capacity to take that at that point in time.
Speaker 1:You know, at the time I would come home, I would hear a bunch of like you take in a lot of people's stuff too, especially if you're talking to the people of the city and you're hearing all these stories, which are all relevant. There are people who are, for real, struggling, lights turned off, all the things right, and so you take in that, whether you like to or not, you take in that. And then you got to go home and your child needs something, you know, and you got to tough it out because it's not their fault. It's not their fault. So I was very big on not taking it out on my family and did a terrible job at that, like I was trying right, did not, did not work out well and it just if you had been successful with that, you might have still been doing that, I might have.
Speaker 2:It seems like you had to have this almost perfect storm of a circumstance before it finally snaps your attention to say wow, this can't go this way, this is not my path.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's also interesting to me too that you were talking about the different kinds of people and, you know, related to the weather patterns of the region and things. And I'm hearing that in Washington, where you are, that it's a little bit like flowing with the tides, a little bit in terms of you know, we've learned a little bit about ourselves, we've done the therapy and we're kind of valuing our mental health and at the same time you hadn't reached that point yet. You were, you know, fresh from your last location and it sounds like you didn't necessarily tap into that kind of mentality and that kind of pattern yet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, at the time I was battling 38, 39 years of a certain way of living. You know, and to your point, you know, along with the people, match the weather thing, like out here it kind of rains, it kind of snows, you don't really people are passive, aggressive, right. So it's very much that and I'm a very direct person, and so it was. There was an adjustment of living out here, and another thing is that it was incredibly isolating coming out here. This is the first time. Moving out here was the first time I did not have community as easily as I thought I did new orleans was new orleans, of course, born and raised.
Speaker 1:But even in chicago I had community in dallas I had community and so out here it was very much.
Speaker 1:People were more so, entering into themselves, and I, I did not have a. I, I do think the feeling of isolation only enhances, uh, a lot of the mental health issues that I did have. Right, because there was no place to talk, there was nobody. You, you trick yourself into your mind saying nobody cares because the world's still moving, and you gotta, you gotta keep going, and so with that, you, you end up gaslighting yourself into a deeper form of depression and I that was that was happening to me.
Speaker 2:I was damn delusional in a lot of ways because you were telling yourself all sorts of stories. It sounds like, yeah, there's no one's for me. If they were here for me, they wouldn't want to hear this story anyway. And this is just what it's supposed to be. And I have to knuckle in and just get the job done, because this is what life is supposed to be. And so that's where it goes. And I know you mentioned the idea of depression, and that's a serious condition, right? I mean, people sometimes use that in fly-by-night, sort of colloquial kinds of ways, but it's truly something that can shift how you view yourself, how you view your world and your life in general, and I know you've talked about it. In being that way, what is it that you feel like your options felt like they were right, like you're going through this and I know now, right, you launched your business and things like that, but there was other opportunities, right, like going into a different job, doing different things. What were the options that you were considering at that stage?
Speaker 1:At the time. That was the best job that worked for me, Okay At the time, like it was convenient, it actually paid really well and it worked with my schedule with the family, right. I was able to still be home with the kids and help them with homework or just be there to do tasks in the evening, right. I was able to still be home with the kids and help them with homework or just be be there to to do tasks in the evening, right. So there was that, uh. But also we had talked about I remember my family and I. We talked about me getting therapy, because I was obviously a little bit like unhinged, but at the time I did not know how therapy was supposed to go. I just thought, hey, whoever you get, you just get.
Speaker 1:And I had a therapist that had no idea how to relate to me. So it was, it was so it was. That was a frustrating experience as well. I remember it was one day and you know I'm pretty sure she was, she was a lovely person, but like, uh, there were times where they were like, well, why are you so paranoid around police, and I was like because I'm really this feels like a simple equation have you read like history or like anything?
Speaker 1:right or the news yeah, so, and and I was. So that part if, and it should give you insight into how much it was such a disconnect. So once again, again, it just increased those feelings of isolation, because it's like OK, I go to therapy.
Speaker 2:Even my therapist doesn't understand me.
Speaker 1:My therapy doesn't understand me and so and little did I know that sometimes you can just switch your therapist. I didn't know about that or how to go about it. You know so everything felt like walls closing in it. You know so, everything felt like walls closing in. I didn't. When you're so much in your head, even the people that love you can't be there for you, because you won't allow them to, because you got it said in your head that you are in this alone.
Speaker 1:And and that's what I. I realized there was the power of perception. We make our own reality. We are the gods of our world, you know, and we feel about things.
Speaker 2:And then those two things combined how much they show up in the solutions that we even identify. Because when we're really my world, I refer to it as a catabolic energy. That's just really like pulling people down and you can't come up with solutions for how to get you out of where you are. When you're in that kind of energy, you need to be able to tap into a higher form of energy to be able to go ahead and do that. And I don't mean that in sort of some ethereal sort of way. It's really like how do you get your brain to start processing the possibility of an alternate truth to what you've been telling yourself, which is essentially not true, but that's what you're believing anyway.
Speaker 1:You have to rewire your brain. I did not realize that, but I had some external things that happened that caused that change. I had a mental breakdown and it eventually would cause a suicide attempt. And so that was a watershed moment for me and because it was like well, if you do this, you can, but did you try everything? Nobody can talk me out of it, because I didn't talk to anybody about it.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I was like even there's this pride, especially when it comes to like this whole, like masculine thing. It's like nah, don't reach out for help. That's corny, you know like you're going to seem soft, and I was like I'm doing, just do it. I was, I was in that, I was in that space.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:But I also was like, well, if I can do it, I can talk myself into holding on, and it's not like, after something like that, you walk away and you're like I'm fine, you're not fine.
Speaker 2:Yes, no, there's a process of unwinding all of the things that you've spun into that story.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, the person I thought of was like I can't believe I was about to do that, but also I also don't see myself not doing it, but also I also don't see myself not doing it. And then I remember talking to somebody about depression and it was like at some point you stop managing depression, Then depression starts managing you and after kind of working through things and coming out of it, I realized how powerful and the stronghold that depression can have on you. Like it is not a mood situation.
Speaker 2:It is a whole brain, it's a chemical, biological, all the things yeah.
Speaker 1:And so and your body hurts, everything like it's. It's serious and it made me respect it so much and respect and also have gratitude and grace for other people when they deal with that. Not to say that I felt a way I didn't really judge people who had depression. I was like, oh yeah, they just went through it, you know. But I also thought like it was a mood thing, like, oh, they just felt bad and they were, it got the best of them at the moment.
Speaker 1:And after coming out of it, you're like, oh no, they just felt bad and they were. It got the best of them at the moment. And after coming out of it, you're like, oh no, they really couldn't. It is something that is beyond their control. It was something that was beyond my control. I had a few things happen, and then there was a the beginning of 2020, my I had a tragic incident in my family in which a person I grew up with my cousin was murdered and that changed that.
Speaker 1:That's something like a jolt that changes everything and that, and it happened in such a traumatic fashion that I had no choice but to change everything you know, and so I always tell people I was. I was not the same after that.
Speaker 2:You know, and so I always tell people I was not the same after that, and not only that, it would happen right before COVID. So then you also go into essentially a direct isolation, which is exactly't appreciate more what you're saying in terms of the inner and outer work that you have to do in order to just get to the surface and then also move toward launching your own business and going in that direction. What was it?
Speaker 1:that you had identified at that point as that kind of North Star thing that was really pulling you toward where you are now, honestly, all right.
Speaker 1:So to back up a little bit, so before COVID started in 2019, I started on purpose and I quit my job late 2019. And a lot of that came from conversations that I would have with my partner, my wife, and she was letting me know. She was like Chris, we are good, you can. You know, we saved up money, I make money and honestly, with everything going on, it will be great if you were at home. And also, it's no good to be here If you can't be happy. It's no good to keep that job If you can't be happy. And I appreciate that so much for letting me know, even though I was still uncomfortable, if you can't be happy. And I appreciate her so much for letting me know, even though I was still uncomfortable, but letting me know it's okay to try something it's like you can always go back to work or a different job, but just try doing something that you want to do.
Speaker 1:And she knew how happy I was because I'd started podcasting just to like talk with people. Like I said, I was very isolated, so I started podcasting to just it was a way to talk with my friends, you know, and so I would do that. And I was like, hey, I kind of want to, I would do this for a living. And she was like you should try to start a business. And I was like I want to, but I couldn't believe like me. And so I decided to take the plunge and quit my job because I wasn't happy there. But it never, it never occurred to me to quit a job because I wasn't happy. Like I felt the old men of the past judging me.
Speaker 2:Yes, they're just standing there right inside your mind going what are you thinking? This is not what grown men do, right and so?
Speaker 1:you know, thinking back on it, it's very much that like to call John Henryism you work hard and you work against the machine and, yeah, you can beat the machine, but you're going to die, and so I didn't want that to be me. Especially after that mental breakdown, that was the moment of all right. I almost lost my life over this. So I think I need to make a bold choice, this. So I think I need to make a bold choice, at least to try. At least to try, because why not? And so sometimes you have to make really brave moves that make you feel uncomfortable but are ultimately better for you. And I did not want to quit that job Not that I was happy there it's just it's the paycheck, it's the stability, it's the security.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely. So what is it? I mean, it's the paycheck, it's the stability, it's the security. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So what is it? I mean, you had the conversations with your wife and you don't want to be there anyway. So reasonable motivations to go, and yet you're saying I wasn't really ready to leave yet. What was the final thing that prompted you to say you know what? I'm done, I'm resigning.
Speaker 1:It was really petty.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know how often I hear that, though right, it's like you know what.
Speaker 1:The final straw just showed up and now I'm done. Nobody tried to write me up for something stupid and I was like you know what I'm quitting? That's it. Like I had been there for years and it was relatively small, but it was a. It was a one-on-one sit down and we were listening to call me on the phone with a customer and she was like you don't sound motivated enough and I was like was the customer upset? She was like no, but like we hear you. And I was like she was like why are you? I was like I'm here for the money and she was like what? I'm like, yeah, you think I wake up and be like I really want to help people. No, we're here for money, I'm here so I can get paid and you guys have great medical insurance, that is it. And so that's when I realized I was like oh, I don't want to be here.
Speaker 1:And then something happened. Like along that line from that meeting, they were like well, we're going to like put you like on a probation thing. And I was like I am a don't, I don't want this. You know what? I'm a quit. And it was like really, I'm like, yeah, I'm out, I don't want to do this because micromanagement annoys me to my soul and I just didn't, and I got sick and tired of all the corporate things and it just it's, it's soulless and it doesn't make it a joyful experience at all coming to work. And so it just wasn't worth the free pizza every month, right?
Speaker 2:Right, and especially when you had to fight hard for the best piece anyway. And you know, it strikes me too that the guy who hates micromanagement and wants to do things his own way, Let me think now he's an entrepreneur, now. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right.
Speaker 2:So that seems to line up pretty well, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's great. I think it was one of the things where it taught me to even even when I had a chance to lead and lead other people. It taught me to lead with compassion, because I know that it's all a trickle down thing there's corporate interests, there's people breathing down their neck, so I can't really be mad at them. It's the system that's built upon that creates that kind of toxic environment. But it doesn't. And I was looking around and I was like man, nobody's happy, nobody's happy.
Speaker 1:Everybody's like they're in a sense of line or they're trying to cope in some way, and most of the time we're off work, we're spending time coping. You know, we're trying to find other things to do to get our mind off work, even though we got to be there in like eight hours. So it's just. I was like I don't know if I want this life.
Speaker 2:Right, well, and it sounds like you were very clear and getting clearer all the time about. This is actually just not the life for me.
Speaker 1:No, it wasn't.
Speaker 2:You make this switch and you start really building out and going full time into building your own practice. I'm going to imagine that that wasn't easy every day and linear up to the point of success either. What were some of the things that you recognized as things that you just really had to shift about yourself as you went from corporate or city employee to I'm the entrepreneur and I run the show.
Speaker 1:Being okay with my decisions, even when they're bad, even when they're unfortunate, and giving myself. I had to learn to give myself grace. One of the things I think it was Nipsey Hussle pointed out this cover, so I think it was like the only difference between me and someone who isn't successful is like I just didn't give up and I realized like I'm going to fail a bunch, and I did. There were moments I was like, oh yeah, I got my studio got robbed, there was a bunch of stuff stolen and I was like I just lost $10,000 worth of things and everything could. I've experienced every single emotion you should have or you can have with regards to owning anything, and the thing is I've always thought just keep going, Keep going. I would have never been to this point had I given up, Even when it was very dim, and it taught me resilience, it taught me grace for anything because I had to give myself grace. They're like sometimes like yeah, that was, that was a dumb decision.
Speaker 2:But I should. I should have looked around the corner before I did that.
Speaker 1:I did not need this at all. I thought I did, but I did not need this at all. But you know, at the end of the day there's no, it's fine.
Speaker 1:You're going to you're going to fail. You're going to fail. You have to be comfortable with it. Sometimes you got to have a short memory as well. I learned that with relationships. I learned that with business, it's never personal, so it's never person. So I don't. I learned to not take things personally. If someone wants to not use my company for whatever reason it's like, it's okay. I don't even get mad, I don't.
Speaker 2:I don't why. I'm just not your person and that's okay. I'm just not your person.
Speaker 1:You know, rejection is protection right. Some things aren't meant for you, and that's okay.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and in fact, have you ever taken on someone who wasn't the right person for you? But have you ever taken on someone who wasn't the right person for you but it was sort of during a hungry period within your business and it didn't go right? Oh, my. God yes.
Speaker 1:I have yes.
Speaker 2:Even by your reaction. I'm seeing that we had a similar experience where it was like, oh, I need to exit stage right as quickly as possible.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I didn't have a problem with turning that business down because it was against my morals, so I just didn't want to and they weren't sufferable. But so I was like you know what, Don't need this money, it's fine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you should go elsewhere. The cost is too high for that kind of revenue, right yeah?
Speaker 1:There is not enough therapy to deal with this.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go ahead on and pass, but those, those are lessons that you learn, because before that I have taken business where I was like I didn't like this that much and, and while the experience wasn't terrible, I did not feel great because I was like I did not enjoy this.
Speaker 1:And it's bold, and I felt like it was a bold thing to even think you're supposed to enjoy what you do. I felt like it would be unfair to and then finding out oh no, I can enjoy this, I can enjoy what I want to do, I can get paid for stuff that I like and that, to me, is. I feel like that's the new American dream to be able to enjoy life as what it is.
Speaker 2:Yes, all of these things that happen around us aren't necessarily to your earlier point. They're not necessarily happening to us. No, it's not personal all the time. And when we start to look at, wow, that happened, how do I choose to interact with that within my life? I might walk away, I might engage, I might really double down and engage, and yet we're still in that place where we get to choose how deep am I going to go into this mess? And I can always back out, and almost always. I'm sure there are circumstances where that's not possible, but there's always a choice. You just may not like the consequences of some of those choices, but there's always a choice.
Speaker 1:Choices, you know there's definitely tough choices, but there's always a choice that's gonna uh uh. Someone said like these things happen for you, not to you yes, and so I I realized that each experience that I've had, whether positive or negative, I've benefited from everything, whether it's you know, oh, I benefited in a in a happier way, or've benefited from everything, whether it's you know, oh, I've benefited in a happier way, or I've benefited from.
Speaker 1:Oh, this is a lesson I've learned, and once that's happened like that, that allows me to approach life from a more positive and joyous point of view.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, if someone were feeling stuck in their career, in their life, what have you maybe for different reasons than than you felt stuck right and some of the beliefs that you had at the time, what, what is the advice that you would give to someone to consider and think about?
Speaker 1:Honestly that, as we said before, nothing's personal. People are just navigating life through the reflections of how they feel about themselves. So when you see something, even even if it's compliments right there, they feel somewhere about themselves and it allows them to feel somewhere about you, you know. So it's like hey, I'm having a beautiful day, you're beautiful, I'm having a crappy day, you're crappy. Everything's crappy, right, and none of it has to do with you. And I learned, and I would say check your ego, it's it's. Often we have to remind ourselves that our ego is not. You get no tax breaks for being right.
Speaker 2:Yes, wouldn't that be nice though.
Speaker 1:Oh, I would love it. I would be petty as hell Like well actually and pull up my glasses every time. But yeah, I, and even times I have to check my ego because it's some things aren't worth addressing, I think that um, the greater good is your peace.
Speaker 1:And we we get into this, this mode of everybody. You know these, these catchphrases, buzzwords of I'm going to protect my peace and things like that. But what I realized is that protecting your peace off it has to include giving yourself peace, finding that self-peace. It starts from within. So before I had gratitude and grace for anybody else. I had to have gratitude and grace for myself, and that was the. That was the hardest part.
Speaker 2:Well and that's where you were talking about earlier that everything that we see in other people is a reflection of how we see ourselves. I once was in a situation where I was doing exercises and I was a student I wasn't a teacher in that process and it was so interesting because they had us sitting in the middle and there was a circle of people around us. And it was so interesting because they had us sitting in the middle and there was a circle of people around us. And what are the things that you're noticing, right? What are the first impressions of those? We didn't know each other real well at the time. What are you noticing about that person?
Speaker 2:Well, how does that show up in your life? I use this a lot in coaching still, actually, because it's what are the things? So how does that characteristic, how does that trait show up in your life? And boy, there's some really interesting conversations that can come from that kind of thing. But it's also the insights that people get from that. And you know, this is such a powerful conversation and I could talk to you forever. But I'm just wondering a little bit is there anything that you would want to share with me that we didn't discuss or are there any questions that you would want to kind of just chat about and talk through?
Speaker 1:Actually, yeah, I have a question for you. Okay, hit me.
Speaker 1:Because, honestly, you know, we all right, before before I get to this one, right, you know, overall, what we've been talking about is like, I would say, change your perception. And I'm a movie buff, I love movies. One of my favorite movies and I go back to this because it was a movie I watched like in 2000,. Early 2000 something, but I find myself going back to it because it affected me a lot and not a lot of people love the movie, but whatever, it was Vanilla Sky and I know it stars Tom Cruise, it stars Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz, but you, you know, without any spoiler, without any spoilers or whatnot, it was really about the perception of reality.
Speaker 1:This person, when his life was great, is because he thought it was great, and when he started thinking it was terrible, everything in his life became terrible and they took a science fiction approach to it. But it's very literal, in a sense of like your life is exactly how you craft it, and so that and they one of the things they say is like every passing moment offers another chance to turn it all around, and so I, I, you know, they, they say that and also, what's happiness to you and it? It forced me to like, it caused me to think about those questions for myself, and it would later on benefit me in life to this day.
Speaker 1:So yeah so that's that's, good.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Thank you. So I would ask you, what was your watershed moment and your your breaking point? Like mine was petty too Um that's that's what I'm talking about Sometimes's just it's, it's the, it's the butterfly effect. It is, it is yeah, I actually.
Speaker 2:I had left an employer of probably about 10 years, probably closer to like nine, and I had jumped without looking and we, we joined up with the best of intentions in mind and we were both wrong. We were just both wrong. It wasn't a good match and, to your point, nothing's personal, it's not that I took it personally at the time, but in hindsight I'm looking at that saying, look, everybody, just you know, had the best of intentions and the worst of experiences and I contributed to their bad experience and I can own that. I'm a grown up and one of the reasons that I had left the prior employers because I just done too much architecture of layoffs and communications and everything and, you know, foolishly worked for a company that was owned by private equity. So within a few months they were like yeah, so we need you to do a layoff.
Speaker 2:But it was a small company, not a large company, and so all the structures that I had in place and all the ways that people had been trained yeah, all of that was gone and I really had to muscle through that transition. And I happened to be in coach training at the time and I brought it to one of my coach training sessions and was like this is a hot mess, Like I, this is what I ran away from. And here I am in the midst of it again and in that coaching conversation it came out well, I should start my own business and I had joked in the past I will never be an entrepreneur, I'm not built for that and, of course, absolutely I am. And I got back and I did that action and I sat with it for a couple of months, but then something else was just that little trigger. Somebody did something that just made me lose my ever loving mind. I had visualizations of things that are not within my character normally and I said you know what?
Speaker 2:are not within my character normally. And I said you know what, this just needs to be done. And you know, I talked to my husband before I quit. He even helped me come up with a name for my business, right, like all that kind of stuff. But it was just one of those moments where I couldn't see myself staying in that role and when I thought about moving into other I was in human resources at the time and thinking of those moments where I would move into other HR roles. I would read those job descriptions. Chris, I was just I can't do that work. It is no longer who I am. So I had to spend months upon months figuring out who I was now that I wasn't that, but I just could no longer do the work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is. I understand that greatly Because I feel you, there comes a point where you evolve so much far that you can't go back.
Speaker 2:You can't go back.
Speaker 1:It makes no sense to, because part of it is we know too much at this moment and we know what serves us. Absolutely so yeah no, thank you so much for sharing that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely and honestly. I thought at one point about going back into corporate. My husband was absolutely horrified at the thought. He was like, but you're happier now. Why would you do that? And he's right, because I started thinking about it and I thought, wow, look at all, I'd be giving up that I have now and this is hard, but that doesn't mean it's impossible, right?
Speaker 1:And that's sort of a mirror of what I heard you saying too about your experience where it's there's no looking back now because what I was in before is just not acceptable. And it's hard Like there are times when I look around for the jobs and be like, okay, what's out there, and they'll be like, nah, no, I'm good Like I always think about okay, I know where this leads.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to and I can try differently. I don't want that. I don't want that. I don't want that for me, so it's not worth it. Not, I don't want that. I don't want that for me, so it's not worth it Not worth it, so yeah.
Speaker 2:So I have one more question I would love to ask you, and that is you seem to be someone who is constantly in this learning mode about who you are, how you operate, what you want to take on as your next challenge, what would you say, and, whether this is professional or personal, whatever you would choose to share what would you say is the next challenge that you want to take on for yourself?
Speaker 1:Ooh, that is a good one. Right now it's balancing out getting to know more of the tech stuff in my business. I think that technology is ever growing right and I want to stay ahead of the curve. I've rested in the the comfort of being in management, but I think it's it's important to know all the details and, while I know I know enough and I'm good, but I really need to um, focus on actually like knowing all the all the detailed parts. I got new equipment and I'm like okay, I need to read this manual, figure out all the things, troubleshoot all the fun things that come along with it. So yeah, and of course, as usual, balance, life, work, work-life balance.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely Always, always a an ongoing. We're all a work in progress in that category, I guess, is the way that I think about that and part of the reason I'm curious about that and I love your answer with that, because there are things that are changing around us that we can choose to stay up to date and current and keep things growing and moving, and sometimes we just sort of shift the lens of our direction and so it's almost like rebranding into. These are the kinds of stories that we want to tell going forward, and that's the beauty of continuing to do the work that we love is there's usually something that's out there that we would love to learn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I realized that this was the right thing for me, when new things would come on that related to my line of business. I would have never guessed that I would be a a studio tech person. I would have never guessed that. I've been like who cares? And now I'm like, ooh, what kind of board is that? Oh, I got to look that up. That's going to be great. Tell me more.
Speaker 2:I have to see it, I'm doing more.
Speaker 1:I'm doing more videos of things that I don't even have.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, okay, I'm with you on this. A little bit too far, I'm relating a little bit too deeply into that maybe, but well, thanks again for the delightful conversation. I am certain that there are so many different things that anyone listening to our conversation would learn from, so thank you again for your time today. Very much appreciate you.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2:If you want to learn more and get connected to Chris, you can find his contact information in the show notes. Thanks for listening. If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who could benefit from it. Until next time, I'm Becky Fraser, reminding you to integrate who you are with how you lead. Okay, bye.
