God, Why Am I Always the Giver and Why Does It Hurt So Bad?

 🌟 God, Why Am I Always the Giver and Why Does It Hurt So Bad? 🌟 

Welcome to the Where Is Your Voice Podcast with Erica! This episode is dedicated to the givers—the strong, dependable souls who pour into others but often feel unseen and unappreciated. If you’ve ever felt drained, invisible, or wondered if anyone notices your sacrifices, this message is for you. 

In this heartfelt episode, Erica shares her personal journey of giving, the pain of feeling overlooked, and the spiritual wisdom that brings healing and restoration. Through real-life stories and powerful Bible verses, you’ll discover how to set healthy boundaries, give from a place of overflow, and let God refill your spirit. 

✨ Key Topics Covered: 

The beauty and burden of being a giver 

Why burnout and loneliness happen to the strongest among us 

Biblical encouragement for weary hearts 

How to set boundaries and give wisely 

Practical steps for healing and restoration 

🙏 Bible Verses Highlighted: 

Luke 8:43-48, Mark 1:35, Psalm 55:12-14, Galatians 6:9, Proverbs 4:23, Matthew 11:28-30, John 5:19, Hebrews 6:10, John 7:38, Luke 5:16, Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 147:3, Isaiah 49:16 

If this episode encouraged you, please like, comment, and share with another giver who might need this message. Don’t forget to subscribe for more inspiration and spiritual encouragement! 

ChristianPodcast #FaithJourney #ChristianEncouragement #SpiritualGrowth #BibleStudy #ChristianWomen #ChristianMen #PodcastForGivers #BurnoutRecovery #FaithOverFear #GodSeesYou #HealingInChrist #Restoration #ChristianCommunity #Encouragement #ChristianLife #MinistryLife #ChristianMoms #ChristianDads #PrayerWarrior #ScriptureStudy #GodsLove #JesusHeals #ChristianSupport #FaithTalk #PurposeDriven #KingdomLiving #ChristianMotivation #OvercomingBurnout #GodsPlan #TrustGod #HopeInJesus #PeaceInChrist #ChristianBoundaries #GiveFromOverflow #SelfCareForGivers #GodsPromises #YouAreNotAlone #ChristianHealing #SpiritualRest #ChristianPodcastEpisode #WhereIsYourVoicePodcast 

Transcript

 God, Why Am I Always the Giver and Why Does It Hurt So Bad?

God, Why Am I Always the Giver and Why Does It Hurt So Bad?

​[00:00:00]

Hey Fran. Welcome to Where Is Your Voice Podcast. I'm Erica. This episode is for the ones who give and give and give, and are quietly breaking inside. For the strong ones, the dependable ones, the I got you. People who rarely hear those same words in return. I've been there. Honestly, I am there. There have been moments where I sat in silence thanking God does anyone even see me?

Moments where I poured out in ministry, in relationships, in motherhood only to feel empty, invisible, and hurt. This episode is an event session. It is not a pity party. It's a space for healing, for clarity, for [00:01:00] truth, because the truth is being a giver is beautiful, but being drained, bitter and burnt out is not what God wants for you.

So if you're tired of carrying the weight, feeling like you're always the one showing up and wondering if anyone ever sees your sacrifice, this one's for you. Let's talk about it. You know, it's hard being the one everyone depends on and having no one to lean on yourself. You show up for friends, you answer late night texts.

You pray over people even while you're secretly breaking. You carry the emotional weight in relationships, the fixer. The peacemaker, the one who gets it. And if you're a mom, that just adds another [00:02:00] layer of quiet sacrifice no one claps for. There are moments I sat in the room thinking I'm always checking on people, but who's checking on me?

I pray for people who stopped talking to me, supported people in their dreams while I felt like mine didn't matter. And even in ministry where you think support would come naturally. There have been days I felt completely alone. Like I'm holding up a wall that no one else even knows is cracking. And the truth is, it hurts.

Not because you wanna applause, not because you're keeping score, but because you're human. And no matter how strong you are, your heart wasn't made to be poured out without ever being poured into. This isn't about being selfish, it's about being honest [00:03:00] about the loneliness, the burnout, the way of always giving while quietly hoping someone, anyone will see you.

And if that's where you are. You're not crazy, you're not weak, and you're definitely not alone. I felt this in real ways. There have been mother days where my kids barely say, happy Mother's Day, no card, no gift. And yes, I spoiled myself. I learned how, but there's still that quiet ache wishing someone else would think of me, that maybe the same people I pour into will pour back.

I remember working a job where I was the only mother on the team, and I just knew they'd do something, a card, a note, something small, but there was nothing. Meanwhile, I had gone out of my way to host baby showers, make others feel [00:04:00] seen and celebrated, and it just stung recently. I supported a TikTok ministry for months sitting in live, sending gifts, sharing content, encouraging them, but I noticed I was invisible unless I was giving no repost, no comments, no love shown in return.

Eventually the Holy Spirit told me to step back, and even now they still send me their lies, but treat me like I don't exist. And I'm not better. I still pray for them, but I'm honest. It did hurt because I thought these were people I could grow with spiritually. Same with friendships. I have had over 20 year friendships.

I've been the biggest supporter showing up for every dream, every launch, every milestone. But the moment I stepped into my purpose, [00:05:00] crickets. No share, no comment. No. I'm proud of you. Just empty space where love used to be, and again, I don't say this to be petty or keep score, I say this because I know I'm not the only one.

Feeling this. Being a giver can feel lonely, not because giving is wrong, but because it hurts to be needed but never nurtured. But maybe. That's where you are right now. Still loving, still serving, still praying, but quietly wondering, does anyone see me at all? And you know what made me feel a little less crazy.

Realizing even Jesus knew what it was like to be constantly poured on and not always poured into. Let's talk about that. [00:06:00] Here's the part that shifted everything for me. Even Jesus, the son of God. Knew what it was like to be constantly needed, constantly pulled on, constantly poured out. In Loop chapter eight, verse 43 through 48, we read the story of the woman with the issue of blood.

She had been suffering for 12 years and believed if she could just touch the edge of Jesus cloak. She'll be healed. She reached out and instantly her bleeding stopped. And here's what struck me. Jesus said, who touched me when they all denied it. Peter said, master, the people are crowding and pressing against you.

But Jesus said, someone touched me. I know that power has gone out from me. Luke [00:07:00] chapter eight, verse 45 through 46, power left him. He felt the withdrawal. That moment tells us something important. Even Jesus was aware when he was being pulled on and he didn't ignore it. He stopped, acknowledged it, and addressed the one who drew from him.

That's what many of us mess. We feel it. When people take from us. We feel the emotion, spiritual and even physical toll, but we don't always stop to acknowledge it. We just keep going. But Jesus didn't do that. He modeled what it looks like to notice when you're being poured out. And not only did he notice, he also made time to refill.

In Mark chapter one, verse [00:08:00] 35, it says, very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place where he prayed. Then he withdrew, not because he didn't love people, but because he loved his father and knew. Where his strength came from. Even Jesus fully divine still had to pause and get filled by the father.

How much more do we you're not too broken for feeling tired, you're not weak for needing rest. You're just running on empty. And even Jesus didn't run like that. Let's be real. Giving isn't the problem. It's giving [00:09:00] without being seen, appreciated, or poured back into that starts to wear on you. Is not about needing attention, is about needing to feel valued.

And when you're constantly the one who shows up, the one who prays, the one who encourages, the one who remembers everyone's big moments, and no one does the same for you, it cuts deep. The emotional toll is real. You start questioning your worth. Am I only love for what I can do For people, you feel invisible. Would anyone even notice if I stopped giving? You start to build quiet resentment even when you don't want to. You love them, you're not bitter, but the disappointment settles in your heart like dust. And what makes it harder is that [00:10:00] sometimes the people who make you feel this way aren't random strangers.

They're the ones you expected to be there, the ones you championed, prayed for, supported, believed in the ones who should know your heart, but treat your sacrifice like it's disposable. Even David felt this way in Psalms chapter 55, verse 12 through 14. He said, if an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it, but it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend with whom I once enjoy sweet fellowship at the house of God.

It wasn't the enemies that hurt the most. It was the people he once walked with, and that's often how it feels for the giver. The pain [00:11:00] doesn't just come from being drained. It comes from being overlooked by the very ones you love the hardest. In Galatians, chapter six, verse nine, Paul reminds us.

Let us not become wary and doing good for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. So yes, there is a reward, but that doesn't mean the waiting doesn't hurt. You can be faithful and still feel forgotten. You can obey and still feel overlooked. And when that happens enough times, you start to feel this inner conflict.

Do I stop giving? Do I pull back and become guarded? Or do I keep pouring and just pretend it doesn't hurt? But here's the thing. Even God doesn't want [00:12:00] us giving out of empty places. Proverbs chapter four, verse 23 says, above all else, guard your heart for everything you do. Flows from it. Not hard in your heart.

Guard it because God knows a heart that keeps giving without care will eventually burn out. So no, you're not weak for filling this. You're human. And God cares deeply about how you feel, especially when you're hurting in the middle of your obedience. Let's talk truth. Giving isn't bad. Loving people deeply isn't wrong, but giving outside of God's direction, that's where things get heavy.

Some of us aren't tired because we're doing what God called us to do. We're tired because we said yes to everything and everyone out of guilt, fear or habit. We [00:13:00] confuse being needed with being assigned and let's be real. Half the time we didn't even ask God if that person, our situation was ours to carry.

Jesus said in Matthew chapter 11, verse 28 through 30, come to me. All of you who are weary and burden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. For I am gentle and humble and heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. So if it's heavy.

If it is draining, if it is constantly robbing you of your peace, you gotta stop and ask, is this God's yoke or mine? Because he doesn't crush. He doesn't leave you [00:14:00] bitter. , His burden brings rest, not exhaustion. And here's the lesson God showed me. A lot of what I was doing for other people, I thought I was doing for God, but I wasn't, if I'm honest, I was doing it for me to feel useful, to feel seen, to feel appreciated.

And that's why it hurt so badly when it wasn't reciprocated because deep down I had an unspoken expectation. If I love them well, they'll love me back. ​

But when you give from any place other than true, unconditional love. When it's not from overflow, but from need, the disappointment hits [00:15:00] harder. When you love out of obedience, you're at peace even when no one claps. But when you love out of validation, you're crushed when it's not returned. Okay. That's why we need boundaries, not just to protect our time, but to protect our motives.

Boundaries aren't rebellion, boundaries are wisdom. Even Jesus had boundaries. He walked away from crowds, said no to certain people, and didn't heal everyone who asked. Why? Because he was led by the father, not by pressure. John chapter five, verse 19 says, very truly, I tell you, the son can do nothing by himself.

He can do only what he sees his father doing. [00:16:00] That's how we're supposed to live too. Not reactive, not rescuing, not yes to everyone, but obedient, even if that means pulling back. So the real question, are you given out of obedience or out of identity? Because the first brings peace, the second brings pain.

But when we serve out of obedience, we can release the results. When we serve out of identity our need, that's when the resentment starts to grow. Boundaries protect more than your time. They protect your motives. Even Jesus had boundaries. He only did what the father told him to do, and if he needed to pause, so do we.

So maybe it is time to stop asking. [00:17:00] Why don't they give back and start asking, did God even ask me to give here? . And here's the good news. Even when people don't see you, God does, and this is the part that gives me peace when I want to feel petty or hurt.

God sees it all, every seed, every silent prayer, every gift, every act of love, no one clap for. He's been keeping track and he's not unjust. Hebrews chapter six, verse 10 says, God is not unjust. He will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

That means nothing is wasted, [00:18:00] even if the people you helped act like you don't exist. God remembers. Okay. Even if the love you gave wasn't returned, he honors it. And I know this is true because I've seen it in my own life. Every good thing I've done, even when it felt unseen by people, I've been blessed back in one way or another, and I know it was God.

I've seen it. I've seen it in how well behaved my kids are, and the random gifts and kind gestures that show up when I least expect them, and the love I receive from my pets who somehow always know when I'm hurting and the peace that covers my home and the favor that finds me even when I'm not looking for it, and the protection that surrounds [00:19:00] me.

When I'm not even aware of the danger. That's what happens when you've lived, poured out for the Lord, he fills you back up. So if you're been giving and it feels like nobody cares, trust me, he does. And he's keeping every single receipt. So what now? You've been the giver, the encourager. The one holding it together, but now it's time for you to be restored because healing doesn't mean you stop loving.

It means you start loving wisely. Here's how we began. ​. Number one, give only from the overflow, not your survival tank. You were never meant to live [00:20:00] depleted. John, chapter seven, verse 38. Whoever believes in me as scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.

That means life flows from what's inside of you, not what's left of you if you're empty. The flow stops. You need the living water to keep pouring. Number two, pull back to refill, not to punish. Jesus withdrew often, but never outta bitterness, only to be with the father. Luke chapter five, verse 16.

But Jesus often redrew to lonely places and prayed. Sometimes the most obedient thing you can do is go silent with [00:21:00] God, not against people. Number three, ask God for discernment. You don't need to be everything for everyone. Just obedient to someone, him. Proverbs chapter three, verse five through six. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and in all ways submit to him and he will make your path straight.

Discernment comes when you stop leaning on your own understanding and start submitting each yes to him. Number four, let God heal the hurt behind your help. Some of [00:22:00] us give from wounds, not worship. We try to earn love with loyalty, but God's not asking for performance. He's offering presence. Psalms chapter 1 47, verse three.

He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds, and then in Isaiah chapter 49, verse 16, see, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. You are not forgotten. You don't have to prove your worth through giving. God sees you even when others don't. So let's pray together. Lord, I give you the places in me that feel worn down and poured out.

Show me where I've been striving instead of obeying. Help me. [00:23:00] Give from overflow, not desperation. Teach me to rest, to trust, to wait on you for what I need not on. People. Heal the parts of me that were hurt by unmet expectations. And thank you, God that you see every seed I've sown, every prayer I prayed and every tear I cried.

I receive your rest. I receive your peace in Jesus' name. Amen. So I want you to reflect on a few questions. Number one, what relationship our spaces and my pour, and two, that God never asked me to. Number two, am I expecting others to give me what only God can?[00:24:00]

So number three. When was the last time I let God refill me for me, not just so I can keep going. If this episode spoke to you, I want you to know you're not crazy. You're not weak, and you're not forgotten. You're a giver, yes, but you're the daughter of the king or the son of the king. 'cause men give too, and he cares more about your heart than your output.

So take a breath. Oh, pull back if you need to. Let God reveal you in the secret place because what he wants for you is peace, not pressure. You're not called to burn out for people. You're called to walk in step with him, [00:25:00] and the beauty of it all, God sees everything you've done out of love. Even when no one else does, and he will reward it.

Thank you for being here. If this encouraged you, share it with another giver who might be quietly breaking inside. Let them know they're not alone either. I love y'all. I'm praying for your rest, your healing, and your refilling. Until next time, stay surrendered, stay wise, and stay full.