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Do you want the truth?
Welcome to Do You Want The Truth? where we dive deep into the real raw stories from parents in the trenches of parenthood.
Season 2 is brought to you by Sam Strom and Freelance Journalist Zara Hanawalt, along with guest co-hosts such as Jaime Fisher.
Season 1 is brought to you by Paige Connell & Sam Strom. They bring you candid conversations with parents who share their experiences of parenthood and what they wish they knew before having kids. You'll hear the real stories. The stories that are typically reserved for best friends. The stories with TMI. We believe in the power of truth telling because when someone asks, do you want the truth? We always say yes. Join us as we explore the highs and lows and everything in between so you can feel less alone on your journey.
Connect with Sam: https://www.linkedin.com/samanthastrom https://www.tiktok.com/@samanthastorms
Do you want the truth?
Jiu-Jitsu, Parenting, and Punk Rock with Blake Kasemeier (@blakeoftoday) [ENCORE]
In this episode, we’re sitting down with Blake, a Meta copywriter and creative director and TikTok sensation, best known for his "This Week in Fatherhood" series. We'll explore the nuances of sober parenting, the impact of COVID-19 on family dynamics, and the hidden challenges and joys of raising children. Blake opens up about losing his mother to cancer, career instability, and transitioning to fatherhood amid a global pandemic. We'll also touch on the double standards in parental recognition, the significance of martial arts in Blake's life, and the bittersweet realities of balancing a social media presence with family privacy.
Tune in to hear:
- The complex feelings parents have about screen time for both themselves and their kids and how it often leads to unnecessary guilt.
- Reflections on parenting during the pandemic and how isolation and fear impacted Blake’s early fatherhood journey and heightened anxiety as a parent.
- How the profound grief from losing his mom prepared Blake in unexpected ways for fatherhood
- Blake’s journey with sobriety and how it has significantly impacted his ability to be more present and engaged as a father.
- They key advice Blake would give to new parents: lower your expectations—for your kids and yourself—and embrace the surprises and imperfections of parenthood.
Learn more about Blake here: https://www.doyouwantthetruthpod.com/our-guests/blake
Connect with Blake:
Tik Tok: tiktok.com/@blakeoftoday
Instagram: instagram.com/@blakeoftoday
Parenting Keywords:
parenting advice, fatherhood journey, raising kids, parenthood struggles, parenting during the pandemic, new parent tips, fatherhood content creator
Jiu-Jitsu & Wellness Keywords:
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, jiu-jitsu life lessons, black belt wisdom, mental discipline, wellness and parenting
Punk Rock & Personal Story Keywords:
from punk rock to parenthood, touring musician turned dad, life after hardcore punk, Blake Kasemeier podcast, creative parenting stories
Emotional & Personal Growth Keywords:
grief and parenting, loss of a parent, Good Grief podcast, overcoming challenges, mental health for parents, personal growth journey
Social Media-Specific Hashtags:
#ParentingPodcast, #FatherhoodStories, #JiuJitsuParenting, #PunkRockDad, #ParentingLifeLessons, #CreativeParenting, #FatherhoodUnplugged
Website: https://www.doyouwantthetruthpod.com
Connect with Sam:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/samanthastrom
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@samanthastorms
Connect with Zara:
Zara Hanawalt https://www.linkedin.com/in/zara-hanawalt/
TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@zarahanawalt
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/zarahanawalt/
Welcome to Do you Want the Truth? The podcast where we dive deep into the real, raw and unfiltered stories of parenthood. I'm Paige Connell.
Speaker 2:And I'm Sam Strong. We bring you candid conversations with parents who share their experiences of birth, fertility and parenting.
Speaker 1:We share the stories that are typically reserved for your best friends, offering a sense of connection and understanding.
Speaker 2:Here we believe in the power of truth-telling, because when someone asks, do you want the truth?
Speaker 1:We always say yes. Join us as we explore the highs and lows and everything in between, so you can feel less alone on your parenting journey.
Speaker 2:Hey everyone, welcome back to Do you Want the Truth, where we bring you real stories from the parenting trenches. Today, I'm excited to introduce you to Blake. After spending more than a decade as a copywriter and creative director in the corporate world and nearly as much time touring in a hardcore punk band, blake decided to start posting his stories to TikTok at the beginning of 2022. He tells his stories about parenting, grief, growing up and where they sometimes collide. You may have seen his this Week in Fatherhood series, where he shares his experience on fatherhood, insights on life and passion for jiu-jitsu. Blake lives in California with his wife and two kids, and in today's episode we chat about family life, fatherhood loss and, of course, how jiu-jitsu relates to navigating the challenges of raising young kids. So get comfy, grab a snack and let's dive in with this Week in Fatherhood with Blake of Today.
Speaker 1:Hello Blake. Thanks so much for joining us.
Speaker 3:Absolutely Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1:Sam has been a big fan of your content. She introduced me to you. She's been following you for a while oh, awesome.
Speaker 2:You do a couple things that I really like. You talk about screen time. Like screen time, it like screen time was down or up, and I love that. I think that's like such a good way, because I too, if I'm having a rough week, my screen time just like skyrockets, rockets. And you're this week in fatherhood. When you start off like that, I'm like, oh, it's like so soothing. So if you, if anyone listening hasn't, hasn't listened to his content or watched his TikToks, it's awesome.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean the screen time metric. Candidly, I think it's something that also parents punish themselves with. They judge themselves based off of what that means, and so I've never really answered the question, like, does that refer to your screen time or your kids screen time? What's the baseline metric? Because I feel like it is. It's more just an intuitive feeling like that that we have around that and again, like I think it's a point of shame that a lot of parents have around how they parent their kids and the tools that they have and their, their tendency to lean on them or not lean on them. And yeah, it's just, it's, it's a cool thing. I'm glad that that resonates with you. It resonates with other people too.
Speaker 2:I also never thought of it as the kid's screen time, never once crossed my mind until just now. I was literally not at all.
Speaker 3:That's really cool, yeah, yeah, I mean cause, like honestly, that's kind of an honor to me. Like the whole premise of like the this Week in Fatherhood thing is to have a not have a personal reflection on parenting that isn't sort of like centered around the kids and like there's lots of mention of the kids and the kids behavior and the things that the kids do, but I don't want the kids to ever be like the focus of it, like it. I want parents to feel like this is, this is their, them experiencing I don't know themselves in some way I, and so I'm stoked that you're like yeah, that's. I always thought it was my screen time because that's that's how I want you to hear it. In a way, I want you to be listening as me and not, as I don't know, as the kids or something. There's just a lot of content around there that just feels more exploitative of children when it comes to parenting, and so I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:And so, for context, you have two kids.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:And how old are they now?
Speaker 3:So four and 18 months.
Speaker 1:Oh, we're in a similar. My younger two are almost four and two.
Speaker 3:What's the split? You have four right, I have four, yeah.
Speaker 1:My oldest is seven and then I have a six year old and almost four year old and a two year old. But, Sam, you have the four. You have four, two, three, four year old here.
Speaker 2:I have a one. I have one four year old not four four year olds, but yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, cool that.
Speaker 2:Okay, cool, that'd be a lot.
Speaker 3:Yeah, four is interesting.
Speaker 2:Four is so much better than three, you think, For us it's been a little, Tell me about it Because I just he just turned four. So what am I in for?
Speaker 3:Here's the deal. Yeah, all kids are the same, but there's just some like cognitive things that he's going through right now that are like so endearing and grating at the same time time. So they're like I'll send you this I just read an article about it just some of the stuff that they're going through, like processing. Like he doesn't stop talking ever, so he just he has to vocalize everything that's kind of going on with him and he is really, really into like pretending to be characters, and so if we watch something, he has to memorize all of the characters, and then when we start to play, he has to. I have to be a character, he has to be a character, his little brother has to be a character, mom has to be everybody. And if you break the reality of the thing, it's like it's super intense. He's like come on, man, like no, I'm sonic, like I'm not. I'm like, okay, I'm sorry sonic. Like you just discovered who that was, like two minutes ago. I, whatever, but it's super, it's super cute, it's super intense, yeah, yeah you two page?
Speaker 1:yeah, no, it's super, it's super cute, it's super intense. Yeah, yeah, you two-faced. Yeah, no, not necessarily. I was going to say every phase. I was just talking to my sister about this.
Speaker 1:My youngest, when she turned one, she would just all day long hi, hi, all day. Never stopped, like it was just like repeat of the same word. And my sister was like it was the cutest thing. I'm so sad she doesn't do that anymore. And I was like it was cute the first day, right. And then day 20, my husband and I were like if she doesn't stop saying hi, we're going to lose our minds, like she's so annoying. And then, now that it's gone, we all miss it. We're like, oh, I just kind of sad that she stopped doing that, right. So it's like every phase, cause I guess I'm a little ahead of you guys, right, like I have a seven year old, a six year old, like I've kind of moved through this age a couple of times. There's like those things. And now that I have this perspective, I'm like I, I got cliche, like I am going to miss this. I'm not, I don't miss it today, and it's okay for me to be annoyed today, but I might miss it in the future at some point.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that that that I relate to that. I was just talking to a friend the other day and he was he is both of. He has two babies, two kids. The second one is like four months old and she has really bad acid reflux and so when they feed it with the night feedings she has to sit upright for like whatever 30 minutes and everything else about the baby experience has been great. And you have the same thing with the first and he's like, yeah, everything is awesome. If we could just get past this acid reflux, like it would be such a breeze. And I'm like, bro, that is parenting. Parenting is everything is good. But then we could just get past this one thing and there's just always going to be one thing and so, like, if you can just, like I don't know resolve yourself the idea that, like, however you manage, that one thing is really going to be how I mean, sometimes it's way more than one thing, but often it is like everything is good, except for this thing, right, like we got.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we're in a little bit of a sleeper crash with our 18 month old and it's like, oh, it's so great. Except he's waking up at five every day for the past two weeks and you're like, well, it's just going to be something. If it's not that, then it's going to be teething. If it's not that, then it's going to be whatever. Anyways, and if it's not that, it's going to be hormones when they're teenagers, or I'm making leaps here, but you get the idea.
Speaker 2:That's something I wasn't prepared for and and like you and I have something in thought I thought maybe I'd have one, but I thought I would adopt and then I had a kid, and so I think the adjustment for me was pretty tough because I was, like all the things you mentioned, never heard of them before in my life. What was that like for you? Because, like, how did you move from being on the fence?
Speaker 3:to being all in. Yeah, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm an odd duck, and for most of my life I was like pretty content to like sit in my little corner of the sandbox and just do things by myself. And at some point and this is like the least romantic thing ever when I started, I've known my wife for a very long time. We didn't start dating until we had known each other for like over 10 years and there was just a point where I was like I am realizing that my life is significantly better with this person in it than without them in it. And so, like there are certain compromises that I'm going to have to make in terms of, like my just stuff in my life, and one of those is going to be like, oh, if I want to keep her around, like we're going to have to get married, like that's important. And then like it's not, that it's a, it's just, it's just a shift. Like I didn't think that was going to be part of my life. And then it was like, okay, this is part of your life, like let's get excited about it, let's invest in it, like if you're going to do it, go all the way, go all the way in, right, and so I kind of I kind of did that, and part of that was having kids. And so I, my point of view, I was like cool, like we have a kid and my wife is one of three, and so she's like no, we need, we need a pod. Like we need like a unit of siblings. Like this isn't, we're not done. And I was like I don't know. And so now I'm like I'm learning sibling stuff that I had no idea about, on top of like learning parenting stuff. Like the parenting stuff has been just shockingly rewarding and fun, like, just like so surprisingly enjoyable, but the sibling stuff has been really weird to figure out.
Speaker 3:So, for example, like I'm, I'm a really social person. Like I, I, we, when we move somewhere, I have to find friends. And then if there's ever an opportunity to go out and have people over, like I'm like just come, like let's, let's get booked, like let's have stuff going on, because as a kid it was just me in my room and or me like skateboarding, the coldest act by myself. Like I, I needed friends. And with my wife she's like less social in that way because she has this pod of siblings that are always gonna be with her, no matter what goes on in her life, and so she doesn't have the same desire. That's just now, that on the surface that's not a big thing, right?
Speaker 3:But when it comes to like interpersonal stuff, and it's like on the weekend, and I'm like, oh, the kids don't have activities booked, like what are we doing? And she's like, oh, come on, let's just hang out, like everything's fine. And I'm like, no, we need to go out and do stuff. Like we have to. Like why are we saying no to this thing? Like, why did we? Why did we not go to the meetup over here? And she's like, because they're fine 're doing the thing. I'm like, oh, I'm doing the thing. Okay, cool, thanks. Like, anyways, this is. This is sort of what I've kind of been been grappling with more recently about being a parent, I guess, and to dealing with this like, yeah, going from zero to a lot.
Speaker 1:I was just gonna say you and Sam have a very similar. I mean, sam, I'll let you share about like I'm. I am one of four and I have four kids.
Speaker 1:So like I come from like a pod of children and like it's a weird day if I'm not talking to my sister and it's a weird weekend if I haven't seen her, right, like that is kind of one of those things that you're kind of like alluding to right, like that kind of sibling dynamic that might exist as children, as an adult. But it is funny because I am less prone to overbook my kids and when Sam and I talk, sam's like oh, I'm the opposite, I'm like always book and you're an only child, right, sam?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have six half siblings, but they're all like way older. I wasn't raised with them and so, yeah, it's the same thing where it's like no, like I don't have a village to support our family, so it's like, ok, I'm going to go out and spent the first three years doing and.
Speaker 3:But yeah, we're always booked and busy Like you spent the first three years so and I just kind of put this together so you also have a COVID baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 2020, July 2020.
Speaker 3:Yeah, July 2020.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was March 2020.
Speaker 3:Oh, you're right. At the beginning we left the hospital and we left the hospital and they were like, okay, cool, now only people having babies can come in and their partners can't come. Like literally, as we were leaving, like, oh my god, we got so lucky. I had friends that like had to re, like reboot their whole birthing plans because they wanted to be able. You get. You guys have heard the story it was yeah wild.
Speaker 3:how did you feel around 2020? Having like not being able to have that social, that like pod and that stuff. Because, like for me, it was like we were so isolated and my wife was a little bit better because she's used to communicating with her family long distance she's okay but man, it was like it was brutal for me with the kid, because the whole thing I had with having a kid, like the thing that I tied it to was, like all of these social things that we would be doing with the kid, oh, I'm going to be bringing him to the jujitsu gym.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be, like, rocking him on the mats. Oh, like, I'm going to pass him to this person. Like I had all of these ideas and it was so weird for me, as an only child, to not be able to have my, my, my network of people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I guess I have not thought about that Like I've thought about how it was hard, but I didn't realize, like why it was so hard. So, yeah, not having anyone over to even like come hold the kid, my, his Nana would come over once in a while, because we I was also kind of like insanely strict about COVID Because I had such bad anxiety that I was like, oh no, he's gonna die, people aren't being careful, he's totally gonna whatever. And so I look back and I'm like, yeah, that probably, that probably harmed my my own like wellbeing. But yeah, it was really hard.
Speaker 2:I think I'm probably making up for lost time now, cause literally every day of the week we're doing something and my husband will often be like we've had people over. Have we gone out every single day for like the last seven days, could we not? And I'm like, oh well, you can stay home, cause it's just so much easier for me to parent. Like, literally tonight I'm going to the library with my, my kids' friends. Cause it's like, yeah, I don't know. And it's weird, cause I'm actually like I don't know if I'm an ambivert, but like I need alone time too. So it's a very weird, or maybe it's just an only child thing.
Speaker 3:I don't know, but yes, it's so weird that you didn't. I mean, like it was a, like an absolute pressure cooker for, like, postpartum anxiety, like it's just, it's everything right. Like not only do you have the normal, like, oh, this thing is out of, out of this, the womb in this perfect controlled place, but it's brought into a world where, like we don't, like it was so, it was so crazy. Like, yeah, we were the same. We were the same. Like I had my I mean my poor sister-in-law, like I love her to death. She came and visited us like I don't know, six months in and I was such a dick, like I was such a dick Cause.
Speaker 3:I was like well, I was just like gosh, we let her hold the kid, like, and she's like sitting in our house, like, does she? Should she wear a mask the whole time? Like when was the last time? What was her exposure? Like she was over, like her neighbors or these kind of people Like I was bad. I was like bad because a lot of that was like I think that you know I don't know if you call it with dads but like that kind of postpartum anxiety of like, oh, the kids out in the world, it's really sketchy. And then COVID and everything that the world is going through, I don't know, I think. I think it's doctors, right, like. And of course, we asked like, hey, like what's the social consequence of not introducing our infant toddler, three year old, to people? And I think eventually they were like, hey, it doesn't, it's not a huge deal until this point, but you meet other kids and you feel like it kind of feels like it was a big deal.
Speaker 2:Kind of feels like it was a big deal.
Speaker 1:Kind of feels like it was a big deal. Yeah, I was probably on the opposite spectrum of you all, mostly because my husband's a first responder, so he had to go to work every single day.
Speaker 1:So we had an inherent risk, right. So, like I kind of got to a point we quarantined. I was very newly pregnant, like I had just found out. I was pregnant when lockdown happened, like first couple of weeks, and so we took precautions. My son was high risk and we did all the things for those like first what like three or four months of a true lockdown. But after that I kind of had this. I think it was just like survival, right, I was pregnant. I had a three-year-old and a two-year-old.
Speaker 1:I was working full-time, taking care of them full-time, and I was like I can't, I can't, I can't survive this way. I was working full time, taking care of them full time, and I was like I, I can't, I can't, I can't survive this way. I need to see my family, I need to see my friends, I need people, I need anything else, and so, and plus, I felt like our risk was already there. My husband worked it like he's a blue collar guy and so also half the guys he worked with didn't believe it was real. So like my husband I swear had COVID COVID like five times when my daughter was five weeks old. He had it when my other daughter was born, he had it, she had it and I had it, we just like, and we took all the precautions right, like beforehand.
Speaker 1:But he worked in an environment that put us at risk, and so I think I just realized I had no control and was like, well, if I have no control, then I'm going to do something that's going to benefit me and my kids and make it so that I don't lose my mind, cause there was probably a point in time where I was like I didn't know how to, I couldn't survive anymore doing it the way I was doing it in that environment, because I do think we're meant to parent with our villages and parent with our community. We are not meant to do this alone. And those two cause it really was like two to three years it wasn't just that first year, right, it really was two, two to three years Brutal, I mean so hard. And when I think back to it I have like serious PTSD of that experience, of feeling so isolated and alone during those times.
Speaker 3:You also had the the privilege, blessing, curse of having two kids that were already having multiple kids who are already around. So you're already like just overwhelmed and like already dealing with like that, like parenting and I, what were the ages then? I mean like those are kids that are active and busy and now stuck at home and you're like you know what, like we just can't, you can't, and weighing the risk there it makes sense. I think we all got to that place at some point where we, some of us, longer.
Speaker 3:I was. I mean, it took me a while. It took me a while.
Speaker 2:We also have the privilege, blake, we work remote in tech. Well, I used to work in tech, and so I think that's also the privilege that we had, and, for sure, everyone around us, I feel like, was like that.
Speaker 3:I mean, I wasn't I honestly, I wasn't working my business. I was running a like a boutique creative agency at the time and our business completely tanked and so it was we were like insolvent by mid 2021. And I mean just that, like being at home with your kid. The world is going like is falling apart and you're we were completely isolated, especially the Bay area. Like there's something about it that people just don't they just don't leave their houses.
Speaker 3:We lived in Berkeley and so, like most of our friends were in San Francisco or in the North Bay and we didn't have a community of people in like Berkeley proper, and so it was just like God, like we don't have anybody, and like my business was absolutely tanking. So like you have to deal with like the massive, like the financial insecurity, which is like horrifying. You have to deal with some of like me, like like let's talk about it page talks about a lot like some of the insecurity as a man around, like providing the like, just like socially. You're like I I'm like 18 months into this and like I'm already fucking it up, like like a lot of that stuff. It was just, it was really brutal. Yeah, came out, we're okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean. I am interested, though, in that, because I think we we often talk about that loss of self. For women in particular, right, when we become mothers, it feels like you've you've lost everything that you once were. You will no longer be the same physically, mentally, emotionally. Just the experience of pregnancy or childbirth can just be so life-changing. And then now you're a parent, right, and that in itself is a lot.
Speaker 1:And so often we hear these stories from women about what it meant to find themselves again. Who are they now? What does that mean for them and how do they identify? Because even before kids, I think a lot of women are like what you said, blake, right Like I prided myself on my career and what I'd accomplished, and once I had kids I cared less, but also it felt like those things didn't matter anymore or define me anymore, and so I'm interested in what that dynamic was like for you, because not only did you become a parent, but you were kind of going through this other adjustment with your career and the world, which can make us question kind of everything about who we are. But now we also have this responsibility of this little person that we have to care for.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean I, and not to like throw it back to to my wife, but I think when I made the decision so part of the reason why I think being being married was so appealing to me, or why that changed for me in my head, was that I felt like I was part of a team and I felt like I had a role in that, in that team with my wife and I, and we worked collectively to make something that was better than both of us in our relationship, like before we were, even before we even had kids, and like that was something that was like so interesting to me, where I was like sorry, like the stereotypical stuff, but it's like I threw things around the house to keep it clean, because I'm like what we're doing together is better than what we did, what I did individually. Right, like I'm showing up in a way for this relationship, because that it just feels greater than just me. And so when I was, when we kind of became a family, I actually felt really it's so weird because I felt very comfortable in that identity. Because like now I'm like oh, we got another team member, like we got another, like we got a rookie, like let's go, which is funny.
Speaker 3:I'm not a sports guy, but like it was just. I felt like we had a this, this really cool unit, and so it's weird, because I was I was very comfortable in that identity, but also like I didn't have anything else going on, like I literally had nothing else going on, like I'm I'm cold emailing clients to try and get work, I'm like writing, which is like something I've always done and I can't do. Jujitsu, which is I'm sorry I keep bringing it up, it's just such a huge part of my life, it's it, that's that is my, my, my circle and my community. And because we can't physically touch each other, we can't be. I mean, jujitsu is like a covid hot spot, like that is where, like it's yeah that is like it's like preschool, basically like people are just hands in each other's faces.
Speaker 3:It's disgusting and and so yeah, so I like, I was almost like stripped of all of those things. Also, like, candidly, it all, like all this stuff, started in like 2018. For me, in 2018, beginning 2018, I lost my mom to a brief brutal fight with lung cancer. Four days later, on my now wife, then fiance's birthday birthday, I was laid off from my job in tech, which I had. I mean, I was like literally working on my laptop next to my mom in the hospital.
Speaker 3:I got the call that I lost that job on the airplane home from saying goodbye to her right, and so I like, like and I'm and I'm supposed to get married to my wife six months after that happens, and so it's like, like then, at like beginning of 2018, I had this like just this crazy existential like I don't know where. I'm completely untethered in the world. Like I said, mostly raised by a single mom she's gone Largely like I spent like 50, 60 hours a week at my job Not doing that now, and like you're about to enter this, this relationship with this person for the rest of your life and so, like, all of those things kind of happened so that by the time we had a kid I had sort of like built an identity, a newer identity, around that guy.
Speaker 1:I don't know, if that makes sense. No, that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 3:This is coming together like as we're talking. So yeah, thank you for the therapy session.
Speaker 1:No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your loss. I mean, there's nothing that changes a person more than I think than loss oftentimes and Blake, I think you've said this to us but like if you've never experienced grief before, you can't really understand what people who have gone through it feel, right until you're in it. And we were kind of relating that to parenthood, right, it's this whole identity shift and it sounds like that point in life probably prepared you better for parenthood than maybe some other people are, because they haven't had to reckon with their identity in that way.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and there is like another piece of it. Right, like my mom, like this is intense, but she was intubated very quickly as and like her cancer was super rapid. Like christmas 2017, we're like making like turkey burgers and watching the world's cheapest weddings on netflix and like like january 14th, she's dead. Right, like that's how, that's how fast it was, and um, so she's, she's intubated and we're trying to communicate with her. She's obviously sedated to some degree. Um and like.
Speaker 3:I don't know if you've ever lost somebody in this kind of way in hospice, but like it never. It never ramps back up. Like as soon as, like as soon as the lithium or the Ativan or whatever it is starts to help them with their anxiety, it just becomes. It could be weeks, it could be days, it could be hours. It just becomes. It's like you're slowly losing them, and I think healthcare providers or at least mine and other people I've talked to don't always do a great job of communicating that, and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that they're just, they're just fucking going easy on you because it's really intense.
Speaker 3:And so, with that, like my mom is like writing. She's like writing things down for us and she wrote down to me on a piece of paper it was a little short, but I had you and it was a good ride and like that for me was like it was really moving, that in this moment of like, if she's at the end, like it's really scary, like it's really scary and she had some comfort knowing that I existed in the world and that, like she had made me, and so having that perspective and seeing that with her, that was also a big paradigm shift for me in terms of, like, my willingness to have a child right. That was kind of like, okay, this might be something that this might be something that you don't, you can't even understand now, but once you get beyond it, there might be something there for you. That is this great. And I think that having kids is a massive gamble that people don't talk about.
Speaker 2:In all sense of the word.
Speaker 3:Gamble, I mean right, it's offensive People don't talk about, like I don't think having kids is for everybody, like straight up, like I don't, and I and anybody who doesn't want to have a kid. I'm like you're probably right, it's, it's really hard and I wouldn't wish that upon anybody who didn't want it and you don't. And that's the hardest thing is that you don't know until you're in it and you can't know, right, like we talked about this before when we chatted, like there's a huge difference between being the fun uncle and being dad and like being the guy, yeah, yeah, so anyways, that was a lot Sorry.
Speaker 2:No need to be sorry, do you find? So this is something that I've found from my childhood is parenting has kind of healed some of that inner child I don't know if that's happened for either of you where it's like, oh, I get to like show up in a different way than my parents were able to, like I have that privilege and I can do that and I can be what my kid needs that maybe my parents couldn't. So for me that's been really healing and it was definitely. I don't know that I've said this to people, but I regretted having kids like for the first 18 months Like I was especially the first four I was like what the fuck is this? Why did nobody tell me this is awful? And then it got better at about 18 months and then now it's like I am such a better human because of him and because of this experience. So I don't know, have either of you had any like of those experiences at all?
Speaker 1:I'm like on the opposite end, where I actually I'm not healing my inner child. I'm like scolding myself, Like you know what I mean, In the sense that like do you ever find yourself acting like your parents in a way that maybe you wouldn't want to, right? So like, I'll do that, right, I'll ask nice 10 times and then I'll be like I've asked a 10 times, right, and I'll start yelling and then I'll drop them off at school and sit in my car and be like you are such a bad mom, I can't believe you just did that. They're going to think about it all day. And then I'll like berate myself, Right.
Speaker 1:And I remember one day my son came home from school and I felt like I had been harsh on him that morning because he just he was going to make everybody late and he was doing whatever. And he came home and I was like buddy, I really need to apologize to you. And I'm like telling him all this stuff and he's like I don't know what you're talking about. So can I go play games? And I was like, yeah, sure, Right.
Speaker 2:And I like Like ruined your day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I ruined my day and I remember that like, yes, we're going to do these things, yes, we can do better than our parents did, but at the same time, like our kids are resilient and I think we can cut ourselves some slack a little bit too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, sam, I think it's really cool that you have that experience. I wish I did. I am like and I like to think that's more than anything, I think I just have so much fucking empathy for my mom. Like she was 23 when she had me. I'm 41 now. I'm like, wow, at 23. I mean, she and she raised me. Well, I was financially independent from like 18 until now. Like I was fine. I moved out of the house at 18. Like I was, I was an adult. She raised a good person, but still at 23, the idea of like doing what I'm doing right now oh my God, there's, there is no way. And I, I'm, I'm totally with you page. And like my wife and I we will have we have nightly debriefs like how to go. It was a thing. I did this, oh my God, he did that. Yeah, oh God. And like we have these moments where it's just like almost like these little therapy sessions about stuff like that, and then it also teaches you things, things about yourself, obviously, right.
Speaker 1:Like oh my.
Speaker 3:God, I didn't think I was like that reactionary or like wow, like I didn't think that I it's, it's funny. It's like the classic thing of like I will read how to parent and then I'm like sitting there and I'm like, oh, this is the thing about like it's your time to practice it.
Speaker 3:It's time to practice it and it's just it's so hard in the moment. So, yeah, I don't know. I mean I do a lot of apologizing too. I apologize to leo all the time. Maybe that's it right, like maybe that's maybe an apologizing is something that maybe I didn't hear as much as a kid, so I think that's part of it yeah, no, nobody was apologizing to me.
Speaker 1:I don't think.
Speaker 2:They're like you. Come in and apologize to me. You made me yell at you.
Speaker 1:Right, I am interested. Sam is one and done. I have four, you have two and it sounds like you would have probably been happy with one, blake, but like happy to be a dad of two, but I am interested in what that transition was like. Right? Everybody's always asking I happy to be a dad of two, but I am interested in what that transition was like, right, everybody's always asking I don't know if dads get this question, but if you have multiple kids, everybody asks what was hardest zero to one, or one to two, or two to three, like what? Was there a significant difference between being a parent to one child and then being a parent to two?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so one is just the absolute one. You're going from checkers to chess and like. This is not to degrade anyone's experience. Who is an only, who has one child. It is very hard. Parenting is hard. I'm not offended.
Speaker 2:I can't imagine. Too.
Speaker 3:But what you're doing is really hard, right, and having two is not like I was like, two is like going to be having 1.5 and two feels like you're having where. You're like oh wow, this is so complex now and we haven't even gotten to the tricky stuff like page. I can't even imagine you with like playdates and soccer or like all of the kids activities. So this is going to back and I like sit up on Sunday nights and we like write out our whole week on a calendar that we post on the fridge and like we just try out all of our activities, right, like, oh, kids are doing this, becca's working out on these days, dad's working out on these days, like kind of putting that stuff together. So we kind of have we can communicate, right, like that is one thing that I think, paige, you talk about, about like some of that invisible labor. Right, we try and like make that labor visible by like not having that stuff all live in the heads of one parent, that stuff being very present. But now we had two kids, that calendar got a lot crazier and for sure, but also, man, I am able to enjoy the newborn and infant and toddler phase so much more. Like I have such confidence going into the second kid Cause I know I'm not going to kill it. Yeah, like likely, it's pretty well.
Speaker 3:And like after the first one, I was so scared, like everything was scary, like oh God, we called the doctor so many times, right, and the second one, like this poor thing, like he's at one, his brother is a drunken tornado, and like that's really hard to deal with, really hard to deal with parents, anybody who has like that stuff going on.
Speaker 3:I have a lot of, I have a lot of empathy for you, but anyways, yeah, it's just been. It's it's the second one's so enjoyable that I feel like they trick you into wanting to have another one, because you're like, yeah, it's crazy, we're not, we're good, we're good. But you're like man, if I had, if I like I get it, I, if I had the money and the resources and the community, like we would have so many of these things. Cause it's once you get confident you're able to relax into it. Oh, it's so fun. And then you, and then this thing happens where you're like, well, shit, like why can't I treat the older one with the same ease and grace and confidence as I treat the younger one, and it really messes with you. It messes with me anyways.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's hard with multiple kids of different ages to treat them all in a way that's age appropriate, right? Because, like my daughter the other day said to me, you're much nicer. And she said to my youngest, to the youngest one, and she used her name, but I don't use their names and she was like you're much nicer to her and she's like she hit me and you didn't get mad at all and I was like well, she just turned two, so she's learning and she's figuring out the world and she doesn't know. Right, I'm trying to teach her, and me yelling at her is not going to teach her. Not to hit people, right, she's just going to think it's funny and keep hitting, and so maybe it seems like I'm being nicer to her.
Speaker 1:But the difference is, when you hit someone, you know it's not okay, right. Like when you hit your brother because he took your book. Like you know, we're not supposed to do that, right? And so mommy might not have as much patience for you hitting your brother and like. That's hard to have those conversations and also for kids to understand it, right, because in her mind she's like whoa, whoa, whoa. We just did the same thing and I'm getting in trouble and she's not why. And I'm like well, because you're four years older than her and it's very different.
Speaker 1:And so both from, like, the parenting side, and because when you have a little one I don't know, blake, if you feel this with your youngest to your oldest, but your oldest start to feel really old, right, like I'm like oh, you're seven, you're basically 25. When really he's just seven and if I only had him, I'd still see him as this little boy. But I have him and then three younger ones, and so he seemed so old to me. And so I'm always having that conversation with myself and with my partner, being like he's seven, he's only been here seven years, he's figuring it out, right, like we're all figuring it out. And I have to do that too as a parent of multiple kids, to say like he's the oldest, but it doesn't mean that he needs to grow up any faster, which I think. I'm an oldest child of four, so I think I personally recognize that too and the fact that I felt like I had to be older than I was when I was a kid.
Speaker 3:Interesting. We had that with our older kids too. And then when we see him in the context of other kids at his preschool, we're like, especially because he's young in his class, we're like oh wait, he's a kid. Like he's a little kid, yeah, and it's just so. You're like okay, cool, we got to give him that grace.
Speaker 1:Like got to give him the.
Speaker 3:He's a little kid, but it's. It's so strange too, because they impress you so much, like they as they're, they're maturing and evolving, like the things that they say, the, the stuff, the stuff that their head, that they're, they're processing, the things that they're able to do. My guy got himself my four-year-old got himself snacks yesterday and like I walked into the kitchen and he had pulled the chair to the cupboard, he had opened the cupboard doors, he had gotten out like a little cup and a plate and he had poured. Like everything was like in its little spot, he had done the whole thing. And it's like he didn't just go like, oh, I want a snack, I'm going to go grab this bag of stuff and I'm going to like drag it across the house and dump it everywhere, like he had this whole plan and this way that he wanted to. It was just like, yeah, it was interesting. And then I was like God, why is he pulling chairs around? Like how do we prevent this from happening again?
Speaker 2:The cupboards are locked, like Jesus, what if he fell All this stuff, yeah, yeah. And then when they configured those that we had the magnet ones and he figured it out at like 18 months and we're like never getting the magnet ones again. Like that's silly.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love the magnet ones. But yeah, my toddler at one point realized if you just yank on them hard enough enough times, they'll break. She's like, if I don't do this enough, it'll break. She didn't find the magnet, she just broke them. I was like, oh cool, cool, cool. Thank you so much. It works for three out of four, so that's a win. But yeah, blake, you I'm so interested, if you don't mind us switching gears a little bit like into how you started sharing about fatherhood also on social media, because we don't see a lot of dads sharing their experience and I know it's not the only thing you talk about, but it is something you do talk about. What, yeah, what, made you start sharing that, and have you been surprised by anything that has come out of it?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean honestly, I had been making content for about a year and my account had grown. I was on TikTok. I had this weird as, as people do, you have this weird blow up and like suddenly people are like, oh crap, like I, what do I do with this now? And so I had. I was in a phase where I think I posted a video a day for over a year and had this day where it was like a slow content day. I'm like, well, what do I talk about? And I just I'm a writer, like I come from the background. It's like, ok, let's just do a little writing exercise. Let's like describe what, what's going on right in this exact moment, and like the sentence like this week in fatherhood came out and I posted it and the video got like a million views.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 3:And I was like, oh crap. And then immediately people were like make this a series, make this a series. And so I was like, okay, we're talking about this now. And I had talked about my kids to some degree or like being a dad, but not like in a like I'm going to talk to you about parenting kind of way, and I think the thing that was compelling about it was that it wasn't like, it wasn't prescriptive and it wasn't perfect and I wasn't offering advice.
Speaker 3:I was literally just hoping that people could feel seen in some way, to be like oh cool, that guy is what I do, or whatever, or that I feel seen. And then it just kind of blew up and to the point where there are kids who have accounts that are all inspired by me, that do like this week in 20 something, and those accounts have like hundreds of thousands of followers now and like it's crazy. So I, I don't know that it's. It's been weird, it's been a weird road too. Like I think the what do you share, what don't you share? The world is a scary place. We talked about it before. I just feel like I'm exploiting this privilege that I have of being a parent in some way and I try to be really cautious of those things. I look to people who I respect and see how they handle it. There are things that I probably would take back if I could do it all again. But yeah, it's been interesting, it's been really intense and the messages I get from people are just so and like just blow me away.
Speaker 3:Actually, paige the one person who I will say so you have a video that went very viral about Casey Neistat, which I thought was super interesting and like I think that was a great video. But one thing that Casey did very well was he never showed his kids faces from like day one and he like he like dug his heels in and like that's something that I wish if I could have walked it back, that I would have been cognizant of. I had no idea that it would blow up to the degree that it has and it's one of those things like you're like, oh crap, I can't put the toothpaste back in the in the tube, so now you can just do like sort of damage control in backwards, retroactively, and be like cool, like let's just fix this going forward and make the mistakes in the past, but like that was one kind of cool thing he did.
Speaker 3:But anyways, I I want to tell you that I watched that video that you made and I liked it very much, I think thank you yeah, yeah those of you that haven't seen it like page talks about, like just the crazy double standard that, like this person is praised for their ability and the freedoms that they have to create when there was somebody, I say this when I got my black belt, let's talk about jujitsu again. When I got my black belt, let's do it, let's do it, you know what.
Speaker 1:This is relevant. My son just got his yellow belt yesterday. He's in Taekwondo, not jiu-jitsu, but he got his yellow belt, so we're a bit. I mean, we're in it, we're yeah yeah for this.
Speaker 3:So tell us you're into martial arts? Okay, no, so in jiu-jitsu brazilian jiu-jitsu it takes takes about a decade to get your black belt. Very, yeah, it's, it's a very big deal. Jiu-jitsu is a really, and it's like there aren't belt tests. It's everything is pretty arbitrary and it's subjective. It it's your professor or your instructor, your academy, being like, okay, dude, it's time, it's time for you to get your blue belt. You've been here about two years Like it's time for you to get your blue belt, and then another two years will pass, like two years will pass before you get another belt. So black belt is waiting for that for like 10 years. Right, it's a big deal.
Speaker 3:The ratio of people that have black belts in the world it's about one in a million, maybe less, that have a Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt. Let me tell you who I am so sorry. So when I got my black belt, it's a big honor and you give a speech, and so one of the things I said in my speech was the only reason why I'm standing up here right now is because my wife is standing in the back of the room taking care of our two kids. That every person you see on the mat, is here at the grace service or mercy of someone who is then stepping in and being responsible for their children and like, yeah, it's just that, like that notion of like I don't know that wherever, whenever you see an adult in the world that somebody else is looking after their kid anyways.
Speaker 3:So I really loved bringing back to that video that Casey and I set video. I just loved that you were like, hey, look, he's there at the grace, mercy or service of another human being who is watching their child and had this been switched like, we would have had a completely different opinion about that. I also think that there is, um, yeah, a little bit of like one. He's an incredible storyteller and so he storyteller maybe maybe cast lighter I don't know how you want to say it like you could say you could say that I mean, I, I'm a huge fan of his, I'm very much of the generation of people that came up watching his stuff. But you could say like it says a lot about the way we view celebrity and to about like, yeah, dude, like he did this great thing, but also it came at the cost of this, and I think a lot of people have a hard time like saying both of those things.
Speaker 1:I also think it's. I think there's a lot when it comes to gender norms in this conversation too, which is like you're making fatherhood visible in a sense with your platform, which I think is really interesting, because a lot of men don't make fatherhood kind of at the forefront of the conversation, right so, and maybe they do in a way, but not in the way that I think women are expected to. Right, like Casey Neistat, by default does not obviously ask about how he balanced being a dad and going after his dreams. The question is how many couches did you sleep on? Were you making money? But it's not about the kids, right, and nobody's wondering about those kids because they're assuming that woman was there.
Speaker 1:That was essentially the context of the video, right? I mean so from my perspective as a woman. Right, whenever you go to work on a business trip, people say who has the kids? Where are the kids? How are you doing this with kids? Right, and so that's like always the question, and I think what I say to my friends who are men or women is that I wish men would make it known that their dads make it a part of their personality, right, like women are asked to make it our whole personality and we're all like, no, it's not the only thing that I am, but for a lot, for a lot of us, I think we're looking for men to make it at least part of their personality, right.
Speaker 1:Like I am a dad and being a dad is important, and I want to talk about being a dad and I think you know, blake, you mentioned this but like the guys that you do jujitsu with, like recommending swaddles, right, I wish I want that for more dads. I want more dads to say hey, dude, do you have the hush machine? Like, do you use that? Right? Like I want that to be some of the conversation that's happening at the barbecue or on the golf course, because that's what women are doing all day long, right, and so I really love that.
Speaker 1:We're all figuring this out as parents, and even on the content side, right, we're figuring it out, and you can only because I know you referenced this like you can only know so much, and like we didn't know as much about what it looks like to protect our kids online a couple of years ago, like we didn't know this and now we do, and so we do better by them as much as we can, but we're figuring it out. But I think the big thing that you are doing, which I think is important, is kind of making it visible, embracing fatherhood, talking about the joys of fatherhood, acknowledging fatherhood. I think that is really really important and I think it's why accounts like yours and those videos do so well is because we don't see them very often.
Speaker 3:And so it's really refreshing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's, yeah, like my friend. Yeah, I have a friend who another Jujitsu Black Belt, really good guy, uri Amahotoutra. He and I we do content together. Sometimes he talked to me about we were talking about some dad fluencer content and it was like a guy being like because, because, like modern dads, like we do laundry and like we do the dishes, and he was like you want a cookie, dude, like, that's like, that's like he's like this video has a million views. I'm like, yeah, he's like dude, that's dude, that's you, that's like, that's like. He's like this video has a million views. I'm like, yeah, he's like, dude, that's dude, that's you, that's like.
Speaker 3:That's like somebody giving you credit for brushing your teeth, yeah, and like you sitting there being like, oh, I want credit for brushing my teeth. It's like, bro, you signed up for this job. Like this is the job, like you, you know what I mean. You're not employee of the month, you're just not getting fired like and so and so, like there's. And what's so weird is like, yeah, I'll like it's so weird Cause like I, I like I'll make videos where I'm like doing laundry in the video and people will be like, oh yeah, like great to see a man doing laundry and I'm like where's your mother?
Speaker 3:Like I'm sorry, like it's just so weird that that's a thing that people I don't know. Anyways, so like it's funny that you say that, because, like here's what I tell people. I'm like, look, if I was, maybe this is I'm actually now seeing, as I'm saying, how it's flawed but the thing that I tell people is like I'm like, yeah, I think people just like my point of view, and if I were a longshoreman and I was making videos about being a longshoreman, then people would be interested in the videos about being a longshoreman. I just happened to be a dad and I make videos from my point of view about being a dad, and some of that is true and some of that is not true. Some of that is that like hey, maybe this is a perspective that isn't as represented in this space and that's why people are interested in seeing it. It just hurts my pride.
Speaker 2:It could be the same thing for a long shoreman, though Maybe that's also an underrepresented.
Speaker 3:I should have said something like yeah, something less interesting.
Speaker 1:I do. I get what your point is. I think that I can be. It's both right, it's both, and for sure, yeah.
Speaker 2:And I know we're running out of time here, but I do have a topic I want to talk about and touch on briefly. Another shared point you and I are both sober from alcohol, and we were talking just before this about how I feel like that definitely impacts parenthood and like how present I can be. I don't know how you feel about it, do you? I don't know how long have you been sober.
Speaker 3:So two plus years, a little over two years, okay yeah, and two years Okay yeah, and I'm completely like I don't, I don't do any, any substances really other than like caffeine? Oh, okay, so you're sober.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm more California sober, have my one to two milligrams of THC every day to get me through, but okay, so you've done parenting sober and not sober. Have you noticed a difference? If so, like what is that like?
Speaker 3:So I stopped one. I was like I was in straight edge hardcore music for most of my youth, up to like my mid-20s. I was not independent touring hardcore band and being like straight edge and sober is a big part of that. And then I kind of drank for, I guess, from my mid-20s to about two years ago, and so it just just I've I've dipped in and out, just so you know, like there's, there's context there. I I had a traumatic brain injury about two and a half years ago. To change, to change I can.
Speaker 3:I was doing the hobby that I've been talking about a lot on this podcast and in a I went left when I should have gone right. Total accident, freak accident. I got clipped in the back of my back of my head and I have a 15 minute blank spot in my memory. I woke up in my car Googling directions to my own house and ever since then, drinking has felt like taking a vacation to a place that I don't want to go and I can't, kind of can't wait to get back home, right Like I'm there. I'm like, oh God, this is just, this is not. This feels terrible.
Speaker 3:That said, I also feel so busy all the time and maybe this is bad, but I feel so busy all the time that I just can't like, I just can't see myself being able to not be sharp and like present and there all of the time. And so I was also like again context like my dad is a recovered alcoholic and drug addict, I grew up in a house, in my dad's house, where the serenity prayer God, grant me the courage to change the things I can that was another difference on literally every wall in my house and my mom my mom was not like that, but we were around a lot of people like that. It's just, it was something that, like I knew the 12 steps, like people know Bible verses right, like that's kind of was part of my identity and so I always had this weird relationship with with alcohol. So, anyways, giving it up has been our parenting sober, I guess. Let me put it this way it hasn't been easier, but it's been a lot less hard. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Yep, no hangovers. You're not coming home like to take because you don't get it. That's the other thing. You don't get Sundays off. You don't get Saturdays off. So if you have a hard night the night before, you got to be up early.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and like that was one thing, like during COVID, like we I remember we were like ordering alcohol to our doors and right it was like, and then you're seeing all your neighbors do it and you're like this is normal, this is fine. Like how many deliveries have they had this week? And you're like, oh wow, we're kind of doing this every night. What else are we doing?
Speaker 3:Um, and also, because you get an app in the middle of the day, it was just a weird hedonistic, like time, I think. And then kind of coming out of that into like a normal world, the, the, the concussion that I had was blessing and a curse, right. Like it was like, oh crap, I had a really uncomfortable couple of days and like hopefully it doesn't affect me in the long run, but it also made me just so deeply appreciative of my brain and like how fragile it is and how, how, just being so appreciative of like trying to keep that thing sharp, cause it's it's really important and I spent a lot of fucking money on it. I'm not going to lie, cal is not cheap, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my, my husband decided to get sober like a year ago after parenting.
Speaker 1:I think it changes.
Speaker 1:I think everybody's relationship to alcohol changes drastically too when you become parents, right, because I think you don't recognize how you're using it, whether it's like a social crutch or a crutch for your anxiety or whatever it might be, and so then, like after you have kids, that changes the dynamic of everything you do, right, and I think COVID really did exacerbate it for a lot of people.
Speaker 1:Like I had some friends who were like I'm drinking a lot more than I ever was because I'm stuck in this house and it feels like what I'm supposed to do. But now I don't like it, right, like I know so many people are like, nevermind, I'm out, and I I grew up in a home that a big AA family over here. So I also know there's serenity prayer forward and backwards and honestly, if you're not familiar, it's great just for life, like it is a good one to. I'm not personally religious, but I do like to think about that one because I think it just helps you like ground yourself a little bit when things feel like out of your control. So if you're not familiar with the serenity prayer, I think it's a good one to look into but and it's good for parenting actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's really good for parenting.
Speaker 3:Good one for parenting. Yeah, it's such a good one for parenting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's such a good one, but we we've taken a lot of your time and as parents, we know that's very precious. But one of the things we do like to ask is and now that you are the dad with the wisdom, you have two kids, you're the guy to just jitsu, who can tell somebody something. What is the number one piece of advice that you give to people who are going to become parents?
Speaker 3:lower your expectations like 100 and like and I don't mean that in a way that like, hey, this is just lower your expectations and it makes things so much easier. Like, even, like even get my kid to do activities right, like we've got to play soccer. Like hey, you can buy the gear, you can buy the goal, you can get all the stuff. Expect that they're gonna do it for like five minutes and that they're gonna like need to go to the bathroom. Or they're gonna want to get a drink and they're going to do it for like five minutes and that they're going to like need to go to the bathroom. Or they're going to want to get a drink and they're going to go inside and they're going to want to do something like.
Speaker 3:Don't like, lower your expectations and like you will enjoy it so much more. That's all I could say. I mean, and I don't mean again, I don't mean that in a way of like this is a lot worse than I thought it was. It's just like and it lowers your expectations for yourself, like it just makes it so much easier and, honestly, when your expectations are lower for yourself, you're so much more available for like coaching and you're like, if you don't think that all of the answers, then, like you can allow yourself to like receive the answers or go and search for them and get better faster. So anyways, that's it. I hope that was those are that?
Speaker 2:that's good life advice just in general. I feel like lower your expectations just in general. Yeah, so I know we've talked about some heavy stuff here and not everything about parenting, as we've mentioned, is doom and gloom or anything like that. So what's a piece of something that's unexpected in parenthood that's brought you joy, bluey?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that show is incredible. Like oh my God.
Speaker 1:My kids won't watch it.
Speaker 3:I like trying to get them into it.
Speaker 1:They won't watch it yeah.
Speaker 3:Paige. You and your husband should watch it. After they go to bed, pour yourself a little kombucha, hang out, have a melatonin, enjoy it. Your son didn't like it. After they go to bed, pour yourself a little kombucha, hang out, have a melatonin.
Speaker 1:Enjoy it, do you? Your son didn't like it either, sam, no, no.
Speaker 2:He's like I don't want this. I try to get him into that and still water and no, he's like give me pop troll and super kitties, please.
Speaker 3:Super kitties, yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, and again, like everything. One of the parallels I make between jujitsu and parenting is that, like everything works once and nothing works every time, and so, like that's like a lot of stuff like we like, why can't you watch trash truck every day? It's a beautiful show, god. It's produced so well. It's aesthetically gorgeous. Like this. It sounds so nice the lessons are great. Yeah, yeah, this is great, and instead he's like no, let me watch people play video games on YouTube. Of course, of course.
Speaker 1:Yeah, parenting in a nutshell, right yeah.
Speaker 3:But yeah, I mean, you get to eat cool food again. You get to eat on crustables, you get to eat macaroni and cheese. You get to go to this stuff. That's like unexpected, like I never would have thought that I would be doing those things again. And like here you are, like doing it and it's, it's awesome. Get to play air hockey, yeah, yeah I love that.
Speaker 1:Blake, for those who don't follow you, where can they find you?
Speaker 3:At Blake of today everywhere. Blake of today. Find me everywhere on the social media.
Speaker 1:Amazing. Thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 3:Awesome. Thank you for your time. This is a great conversation.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Thank you for tuning in to Do you Want the Truth? We hope today's episode gave you a fresh perspective on the real and unfiltered side of parenthood. If you enjoyed our conversation, please rate our show and leave a comment. It helps us reach more parents who need to hear these stories. And remember, we'd love to hear from you If you have your own parenting story to share or a suggestion for a future guest. Reach out to us directly and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Until next time, keep embracing the truth and know you're never alone on this journey.
