The Truth About: Weight, The Holidays & Ozempic with Dr. Rachel Goldman

In today’s conversation, we sit down with clinical psychologist Dr. Rachel (@drrachelnyc) to unpack something so many of us wrestle with but rarely name out loud: food noise—that constant mental chatter about eating that overwhelms our cues, our joy, and our presence. We explore why this noise gets especially loud during postpartum and perimenopause, and why obesity is a complex metabolic disease, not a willpower issue. Dr. Rachel breaks down how GLP-1 medications, paired with cognitive behavioral tools, can quiet the shame spiral, restore choice, and shift our actual health markers in meaningful ways.

We also get into the messy middle of motherhood and womanhood—body comments, shifting hormones, boundary-setting, and the emotional whiplash of not feeling at home in your own body. Dr. Rachel offers quick scripts for shutting down unwanted commentary (perfect for the holidays), guidance for talking to kids about bodies with compassion and clarity, and concrete ways a quieter mind frees up space for strength training, protein-forward meals, hydration, sleep, and simply living with more ease. If you’re navigating postpartum changes, perimenopause, or the heavy mental load around food, this episode brings both science and soul.

Links & Resources

Ro  (mention our podcast!) - we're working on a discount code

You can learn more about Dr. Rachel on her website and give her a follow on Instagram. 

If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love for you to rate, follow, share, and leave a review. It helps more listeners find the show—and I always love hearing what resonated most with you. ❤️

Chapters

• 1:25 Meet Dr. Rachel And Her Book
• 4:04 Postpartum Body Image Realities
• 7:40 Weight Fluctuations And Hormones
• 9:11 Role With Ro And Emotional Health
• 11:07 Perimenopause Collides With Postpartum
• 13:39 Naming And Understanding Food Noise
• 17:16 GLP-1s, Reward Circuits, And Alcohol
• 18:46 Stigma, Celebrities, And Transparency
• 23:01 Metabolic Health Beyond The Scale
• 29:23 Real-Life Goals: Play, Energy, Living
• 30:43 Mental Space And CBT Tools
• 35:25 Scripts For Body Comments
• 42:03 Kids, Language, And Body Talk
• 50:13 Motherhood, Flexibility, And Joy
• 1:00:30 Where To Find Dr. Rachel

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:57

Dr.

SPEAKER_03: 0:57

Rachel, welcome to D You Want the Truth. Thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01

Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here speaking with both of you today. So thank you. We're so excited to talk to you. And for anyone listening, can you tell us a little bit about who you are? Sure. So I'm a clinical psychologist out of New York City. I'm also a speaker, a soon-to-be author with a book coming out very soon. And um, I specialize in cognitive behavior therapy and more specifically related to stress management, body image, disordered eating, and the treatment of obesity.

unknown: 1:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 1:33

Is that your book in the background? It is. What's it called? When life happens, the mindset shift you need to manage stress, build confidence, and break free. And what is it about? I mean, other than the title, but yeah. So thank you for asking. So it is utilizing cognitive behavior therapy tools, but making it very approachable and real to help people manage stress and to be prepared for when life happens. So to kind of have the tools ready to go for whatever you're dealing with in life. And I do always like to add, because it's very relevant to even what we're talking about today, there's a whole chapter on body image as well.

SPEAKER_03: 2:11

Yeah, that that one's tough, especially postpartum. How Zara, I know a little bit about how you dealt with it after postpartum, but Dr. Rachel, what about you? How was postpartum and body image for you?

SPEAKER_01: 2:24

Yeah, you know, it's a blur. Um, I was breastfeeding and I it was it it was challenging for sure. But yeah, I mean, I hear stories all the time from so many of my clients in terms of just everybody has different experiences, but it's it's very challenging. I think a lot of people with having their first child, like I have a client right now that's experiencing this, was expecting to come home and just like be back to her pre-pregnancy weight. And I remember having a session with her just a few weeks before she went into labor. And I had to clarify that. I was like, uh, we've got to like wheel in those expectations a bit. I was like, that is not going to happen. Like it's going to take time. And there is much more than just the baby in involved when you when you're like gaining weight having a baby. So I think there's a lot of misconceptions about that, which then sets us up for disappointment. And then of course, what we see on media and the celebrities and things like that. So yeah, I'm glad we're talking about that because it's a challenge.

SPEAKER_03: 3:32

Yeah. Or even if you have people in your life, Zara, I know you lost the baby weight pretty quickly, right? Yeah. Like pretty immediate.

SPEAKER_04: 3:39

Yeah. I mean, breastfeeding twins, it it's pretty intense. So yeah, I would say, I mean, I was probably the smallest I've been since high school, like immediately postpartum. But I felt very weak. I felt very out of shape. I couldn't like walk up a flight of stairs without feeling winded. I just felt depleted because, you know, breastfeeding two babies. Um, so I think I, you know, I got a lot of compliments about how I looked, but I was like, well, I don't feel great.

SPEAKER_01: 4:07

So So, I'm so glad you said that because that was actually my experience. And I usually don't share that until I hear that somebody else had that experience. Cause I know a lot of people actually do um really have a difficult time with that. And I also got compliments and I was like, no, actually, I don't look good. I was like, I think I'm underweight for me right now, and I don't feel good. So thanks. But like, let's not talk about people's body, shape, and size and let's not go there. Um, which was interesting for me being a psychologist in this field because I often tell people to have those sample scripts ready to go for those responses when you don't want to talk about your body, shape, and size. And it was the first time that I really experienced that myself. Um, just a reminder to everybody listening like, don't comment on people's body, shape, and size. Just don't go there. You never know what people are going through. Um, you know, if they lost the weight in a healthy way, in an unhealthy way, if they wanted to lose weight, if they didn't want to lose weight, and and that's their business. But but yeah, it's it's challenging because I wonder if you had a similar experience or that, you know, a lot of people were like, oh my God, what did you do? And I'm like, nothing. Like I'm breastfeeding. And but people may have thought I looked good, but like you, I didn't feel energized. I didn't feel like myself.

SPEAKER_04: 5:29

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 5:30

And I I think sometimes you also feel a little bit guilty saying that because people are maybe envious, or you know, that's considered the right way to do it, but everybody's body is so different and everybody's experience is so different, and it's not predictable in any way, shape, or form. I mean, I had two children and I had similar but different experiences with both of them.

SPEAKER_03: 5:57

When you say similar but different, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_01: 6:02

I mean, I like I I I don't know. Like I think every pregnancy, every delivery, every postpartum experience is different within itself. And my body, I feel like remembered, you know, kind of like what it was like to be pregnant and what it was like to breastfeed. But it was just different. And I had then a toddler running around also. So I wonder also, you know, like if I had that extra kind of weight loss also because I was more active running around doing things as opposed to, you know, my whole life was consumed with the baby. Now it was like I have a child and I have a baby and life also. But um, but yeah, I think just everybody's experiences are so different, and that's really important for people to remember.

SPEAKER_03: 6:54

Yeah. And then I've been, I was on the flip side. So I actually retained weight while I was breastfeeding and I was so frustrated because I was working out twice a day. I was like, why is this not happening? But I was so ravenous. And and I remember looking at women like the two of you, and it's not your fault at all, but being like, why can't I just like what is wrong with my body? And then, you know, I have friends who are like, once I stopped breastfeeding, the weight started coming off. And that was similar with me, where it was like, okay, now all the working out I'm doing the weight started to come off. But the thing I wasn't prepared, and I don't know if either of you had this experience, is that once you have a child and you get all the weight off, it can come back so much easier. And that is something I was not expecting, which is why I started investigating in GLP ones, but like the fluctuations, I never had fluctuations like this. And it um it's probably because I didn't eat great during my pregnancy. But do you see that a lot, Dr. Rachel, with your clients who are like, I got the weight off, but now it's back?

SPEAKER_01: 7:55

Yeah, I do see that a lot. And I think there's many different reasons for it. But I think also as we are becoming more mature, I like to use that word. The other day somebody said that to me. And I was like, oh, I love that instead of aging, right? But as we are becoming more mature and there's so many hormonal shifts happening, anyways, post-pregnancy, postpartum, but then also as we're becoming more mature with hormonal shifts, I think a lot of women are experiencing larger weight fluctuations and gaining more weight more quickly than they have in previous years or at other times in their life.

SPEAKER_03: 8:34

Yeah. And then COVID coinciding with all of it is like we are like a storm. Yeah, totally changed. Yeah. How did you get involved? And everyone, this is not an ad. This episode is not an ad. Um, how did you get involved with Roe?

SPEAKER_01: 8:49

Yeah, great question. Um, I'm trying to remember because it's actually been a few years now that I've been working with them. So I didn't mention that at the beginning, but I am an advisor to Roe. So I'm pretty sure they just reached out to me. We had a conversation. I never involve myself in anything without doing the research. Um, you know, my background is a science practitioner model. So I love research. I love understanding things. I need to know like, what is this company doing? Do I fully believe in it? Um, which is why you won't see me partnering with a lot of companies or brands, because I really do need to fully believe in what they're doing. Um, and once I had those conversations with Roe and understood what they were doing, I was like, yes, this is something I I want to, you know, get involved with. So I serve as an advisor to them. I do some consulting with them in terms of, you know, things like this media, language, content, um, and talking about the emotional health side to obesity, weight loss, GLP one use, things like that, which I think is so important because there's not a lot of people out there talking about it, right? Like people talk about weight loss and getting healthy, but there's so much more to that. I mean, our lives, like, you know, I like to think of health as we have mental health and physical health together. That that is our health. And without one, we really don't have health. Like they are, they are combined and we need both of them. And they are so intertwined, and especially when it comes to obesity. So I love that they really are prioritizing individuals' emotional health on this journey as well, because it is really just as important.

SPEAKER_04: 10:33

Yeah. And you know, I think part of what we were speaking to, Sam, is that so many of us are having babies later in life. And I think for a lot of us, postpartum and perimenopause are kind of coinciding or they're coming one after the other.

SPEAKER_01: 10:46

And I think, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'm like shaking my head, yes, because I'm right there with you. I remember after I had my little one, I kept thinking, like, oh, this is just because I'm breastfeeding. Like, I'm having night sweats. This is just because I'm breastfeeding. And then all of a sudden I stop breastfeeding. I'm like, why am I still having night sweats? Like, is this still because of postpartum? And now, like two years later, I'm like, this is not postpartum. This has got to be perimetapods. Like, it's so true. It's and it makes it so much more complicated, which is why also I think it's so important that people follow up with their healthcare providers. Um, when it comes to any of this, like if there's weight gain, if there's anything that's kind of like out of the blue, the weight fluctuations you were talking about, you know, the night spots, other things. Like, talk to your doctor. And, you know, GLP1s is a treatment option that's available, you know, for for for some of this as well. And we see that there's so many benefits outside of just weight loss when it comes to GLP1 use.

SPEAKER_04: 11:41

And we're seeing a lot of people developing eating disorders during perimenopause, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 11:47

Where, you know, I don't have the specific stats on that, but I am hearing about that as well. And I hate to say it, but I think there's a lot related to media and what we see in the news and social media and comparisons that I would just say across the board, there is more disordered eating thoughts and behaviors. I'm not necessarily going to say eating disorders, but I think there is a lot more disordered eating going on and thoughts related to food, unfortunately, thanks to social media and the messages that we are all told.

SPEAKER_04: 12:24

Have either of you seen the Saturday Night Live skit that they just ran, I think it was last week. Amy Kohler, perimenopause. Yeah. The emo mom skit. It's really good. It's this family kind of talking about the mom and how she's going through this phase. And they're kind of talking about her like she's a teenager. And then she comes in and she's like, I'm taking care of kids. I'm taking care of my aging parents, my pelvic floor is on the ground. Like she's going through perimenopause. And it is interesting because it is kind of like a second puberty, right? It is.

SPEAKER_01: 12:55

Yeah. I mean, I like to think of it as like it's another phase of life, it's another chapter, but absolutely. I mean, and and perimenopause can last so many years that it's interesting that we, you know, it's almost like food noise, which I know we'll get to. But like we didn't have a name for it years ago, right? At least I didn't know that there was such a thing as perimenopause. You hear about menopause, and now we have a name for it. And I think it's great that people are talking about it so openly because it makes us feel like, oh, I'm not going crazy, right? Something's not wrong with me. I'm actually going through this phase of life, you know, similar to food noise, how I love that there's a name for it now. Like it's not that people didn't experience food noise years ago. We just didn't have a label for it. And now it's easier to talk about because you can just say food noise and people know what you're talking about, as opposed to trying to describe what's going on and that experience that you're having.

SPEAKER_03: 13:47

Yeah, food noise. That that one is tough. That's the biggest thing for me that GLP ones have done is kind of taken all of the noise away. Not like all of it. Like it's not silent in my head. Um, I wish it were, because I know there are people like that who don't have an internal monologue or an internal internal critic, which sounds amazing. Husbands. Yeah. Yes. But that was the biggest thing for me where I was like, oh, it's kind of what people describe on Vivance or Adderall, where it just kind of goes quiet and instead of and not just about food, it's about kind of everything, like the um obsessive thoughts and and ruminating and all of those things. Are you seeing people like, are they in experiments for like OCD or other mental health? I know they're in experiments for GLP ones for addiction, but are they for other things?

SPEAKER_01: 14:38

You know, I haven't seen any literature coming out yet related to that, but I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, I know that, you know, Roe actually just developed a food noise questionnaire that's going to be coming out. And again, I haven't looked into the deep research of it, but I wouldn't be surprised if there are similar constructs to things like OCD. Um, because I mean the food noise, the definition, quote unquote, that we go by is excessive and intrusive thoughts related to food that can then lead to things like increased desire to eat, cravings. The way I like to describe it is it's like chatter in your brain, right? It's taking up a lot of space. Um, and I would say all of my clients experience food noise. And then on GLK ones, again, like you said, it's almost gone, but it's still there. Like I like to think of it as like lowering the volume, right? Like the knob is being turned down so much, though, that people are like, oh my God, like I can go out to eat and enjoy my food and not be thinking about it for hours leading up to it. Like, what am I gonna eat? Can I eat? What's next? Things like that. I have a client that even enjoys making food again and cooking. And she never did before because the food noise was so loud, she would be like picking while she was making the food and cooking, and then dinner would come and she couldn't even enjoy dinner with her family. So it's it's quite amazing how the food noise, I don't want to say it just like uh is eliminated because it's not, but it is so much lower for so many people. And that I would say is one of the number one things that I hear people say that is really so eye-opening and it like shifts so quickly, right? Like, I don't know if if you experienced that and or if you've noticed a pattern from like the day you take your, you know, your injection to a later in the week. Yeah. People are usually like, oh, and now it's gone again. Again, not completely, but like a huge difference that they feel like it's like almost gone.

unknown: 16:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 16:38

And then as it starts to wear off, I I can see it with like softening or internet usage or whatever it is. And then it's like, oh, must be getting time for my shot.

SPEAKER_01: 16:48

Yeah. Well, there is some research or what we're hearing is related to alcohol use, right? So I think even anybody that didn't have an alcohol use disorder um prior and is on a GOP1, I hear this from all my clients that just there's no desire to drink alcohol anymore, or a very limited desire. So there's definitely so much overlap, which makes sense. Years ago, during my, I think it was during my postdoc, I did a um an fMRI study looking at the brain and activation in the brain in individuals post-bariatric surgery, looking at individuals that had um that were more successful with surgery versus those that were not as successful with surgery. Or I like to say the opposite, like surgery wasn't as successful for them, actually. And what we saw were the same areas of the brain being activated when they were looking at certain food images, as we would see in people with alcohol use disorders or other addictions, looking at things like alcohol and drugs. So it is the same reward center, the same area of the brain that is being targeted by GLP1s. So it is not surprising that kind of like that noise, maybe for alcohol or maybe for other addictive behaviors, are also being decreased.

SPEAKER_03: 18:04

Yeah, it's, you know, I know Zara and I have talked about this before. I'm sure at Roe you have talked about it a lot too, but kind of the vitriol and the hate that women are getting who are on it, specifically celebrities, right? And I get it. You want people to be out. For instance, there's been a lot of discussion, is Mindy Kaling on it? And people are mad because she's not saying if she is or not. But then you have Serena Williams on the other side being like, I am on it. And there's just as much hate toward her. And it's like, okay, well, and people are saying, well, she's an athlete and she's giving a bad reputation to women and a bad expectation for women. And I actually think it's the opposite. She's being like, I need help. It's like going to therapy. It's like taking your SSRI, whatever it is. It's like, I need help and I can't get out of this on my own. And my body is not functioning the way it used to be. And I can imagine as a former athlete, how debilitating that would be on your mental health as well if your body is not functioning the same and you're like, why am I 40 pounds? Whatever, how however much she was wanting to lose. I just don't get it. You so should we talk about it? Should we not talk about it? Or is it just like, don't be on it, is kind of like the thing.

SPEAKER_01: 19:09

Right. And and I I hear everything you're saying, and it's so complicated. And I feel so bad for individuals in this situation because I think individuals in a larger body get shamed for quote unquote being lazy, which we know that's not true, but that's like the general judgment, right? And then somebody like Serena Williams or anybody that has come forward to say that they're on it, get shame for now being on the medicine, right? So it's like there's no win situation here, unfortunately, at least in terms of like the public eye and that judgment piece. And similar to you, Sam, I love that Serena Williams came forward and shared this because not only is it great, which which I'm a full believer in like your body, your voice, you just your healthcare, you you decide what you want to share and not. Like there's people I recommend not sharing it with others for different reasons. But I think if you're gonna make the decision to share it, I love that you do because especially for somebody like Serena Williams, who is an athlete, who I don't know her personal life, but probably has access to personal trainers, to nutritionists, to chefs, et cetera. And for her to still say, I'm struggling and I'm an athlete, I think that is huge and so powerful for other individuals to see that and to hear that and to see that she is seeking treatment, right? And there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, if if you told me you had high blood pressure and you were gonna go get a medication for your hypertension, I'd be like, amazing, you're getting treatment, you're seeing a doctor. Now, yes, I would say the same thing about a GLP one. And I do say that to people when they tell me, I'm like, I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud that you took this step forward. But other people would not judge if you said you had cancer and had to go seek treatment for your cancer or for high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, or anything else. So why does it is this so different? Right. And I'm gonna answer that actually. Unfortunately, I think it's different because the general public has not really come to terms with the fact that obesity is a disease. And and be obesity also, unfortunately, for some people, living in a larger body could mean that they have obesity, but it is not a direct, like you have a larger body, you have the disease of obesity. But it does put you at risk for many health conditions, metabolic disease, obesity, et cetera. But because of that, I think it is so much more noticeable, right? If you lose weight or if you gain weight, unfortunately, somebody is gonna notice it is our appearance, right? So that's what makes it a little more complicated. But I am all for the fact, and it is a fact, that obesity is a disease and there are treatment options that are available that are honestly life-changing. And I've heard it from my clients, and something I say all the time is that what I've seen is that these medications provide hope for people that have lost hope. I have clients, and it sounds like Sam, you were probably in a similar position, that feel like they're doing everything, right? Like you're doing everything, quote unquote, right. And the and you're not getting healthier, you're not losing weight. And then you start feeling like, what is wrong with me? Why can't I do this? What's wrong with me? I'm gonna white knuckle, I'm doing everything. What's wrong with me? And then all of a sudden, right, you you decide to move forward and get on this treatment option. And then what I hear is it puts you at an even playing field. Like you still have to do the lifestyle changes that that we're all doing. But now the lifestyle changes, you're actually seeing change. So I know I went off a little bit, but yes, I'm totally for the fact that people like Serena Williams are coming forward and sharing that because we are all struggling with something. And I also think for people like Serena or other celebrities or public figures, when we see that they're losing weight and they're like, I'm not doing anything, I'm just eating healthier, that also sets people up for failure and being unrealistic expectations. Like, well, I'm eating healthy, but why can't I look like that? Right. First of all, everybody's body and metabolism and everything is very different, of course. But I think it's easier for people to be like, oh, that's why. Right. It's not just about eating healthy. It's like this is an actual disease and I need treatment for it. And there's something that's available that can help me. So why aren't I gonna look into that? Why isn't that an option for me?

SPEAKER_03: 23:41

Yeah, and doctors too. I remember going to my doctor and I've had her forever. I think she's great. But she was like, nope, just go eat celery. That's what you should just do. And I was like, well, okay. Like that's that. And she's like, just eat it plain, don't put anything on it, and you'll lose weight. But you've got to be kidding me. No. And so I was like, okay, well, fuck this. I'm gonna go find and I had a friend who was like, I know this guy in Manhattan Beach. Let's figure it out. And so I got on it. And I remember my first consult with him, he was like, It's not your fault. We're surrounded by things all day that are trying to increase your dopamine or taking your dopamine away to get you to consume in one way or another. And it's not your fault. It's not immoral. I think a lot of people feel like it's like a moral thing. Like if you see somebody, oh, well, they're they just don't have strong willpower, or they, you know, it's it's more of like a shaming thing. And and I still think like that is one population. It's like age and weight, still you're very much judged for. But I remember he told me that and I was like, okay, well, I mean, part of it's my fault, but the other part is like I can't control the media. I can't control, you know, what I am seeing. Like, I went to, where did I go to? I went to Safeway this morning because we needed eggs. And I usually do pickup or delivery. And I was like, whoa, like you're just inundated nonstop with like noise and sounds. And like, anyway, my labs, my doctor was also talking to me about my labs, and my labs were really bad. And she was like, We need to get this. You might need to get on medication for this. And I'm like, well, let me try this thing over here. And magically, somehow, all my labs are drastically better. And now I'm in the healthy zone for everything, um, even though they were trying to tell me not to. And my OB is a different doctor, and she's great. And she's like, let me just like make sure everything is going okay, even though we don't want you on this medication and we want you to get off. And I'm like, Yep, they're they're they look great. So I I don't want to because I'm just starting to get back on right now.

SPEAKER_01: 25:42

Yeah, yeah. And I'm so glad you said that because, and that's what I think a lot of people also don't realize is that obesity is a metabolic disease, but it is a complex, chronic, recurring disease. And there's like a really messy image that I love to share, but I never have it when I want it. Um, and it's literally when I say messy, it's because it's showing all of the different systems that obesity is like influenced by or influences. So it's so connected to every organ, every system in our body, which is why decreasing weight and getting out of that, say, obesity range is improving all of those other factors as well, because it's all related. And I hear that all the time. Like my clients are like, I don't love to talk about weight, to be honest. Like my clients love to share their weight loss and their weight with me. And they know I just keep track of it for data purposes and like tracking. But for me, you know, I like to think more of the bigger picture. Like, let's talk about the health of what's going on here, the whole body, this holistic approach. And what you just described is exactly what we see and what we hear for most people. Again, don't get me wrong, you know, like some people struggle or like, you know, they're still figuring out their dosaging and things like that. But we see all of the numbers, like, you know, it could be high, you know, cholesterol, lead pressure, um, you know, I mean, just other comorbid diseases with obesities, even like sleep apnea, diabetes. Um, we see all of those numbers improved when there's actually that the science does say a five to a five to 10% weight loss of your current um of your excess weight, all of those numbers start improving. So it's it's like it sounds like not not a lot. It just depends on, of course, like where you are, but five to 10% of your excess weight loss, we start seeing major improvements.

SPEAKER_03: 27:34

That's crazy that it's so low, but I guess that's and then once you get to that level, you're like, okay, I can keep going. I have somebody very close to me who got on it, I want to say a year and a half ago, and she reached her goal not just for weight, because she reached that a long time ago, but playing with my son on the beach and running with him and not getting out of breath and being able to be around him and not take as many naps for her. She was like, this was the goal that I was trying to achieve, and this is the goal that I got to. And it's because of the medication. I think she lost 60 or 70 pounds, uh, maybe even more. And, you know, and she's maintaining it and all of that because she did the right lifestyle changes. Well, I did not. So if anyone is on here, make sure you continue to weight train, make sure you continue to eat right, work out, walk, do all of those things because I didn't. And hydration is very important. A lot of people miss that one.

SPEAKER_01: 28:26

Very high rate of kidding. Yes, yes, high protein strength training, water, yeah, movement, um, sleep, kind of all the health behaviors. And I often say, because it can feel overwhelming, it's what you do on most days. It's like you don't have to do it every day, but it's what you do on most days matter. Um, but I love that you mentioned that because I like to work with my clients and finding other goals that they're working towards as opposed to just weight loss. Because also, like, what does weight loss mean? It could mean something different to you with somebody else. And then what happens when you get to that goal? You know, the number can can change, it can fluctuate. You know, are you set a goal to lose X amount of weight and like you're one pound away? Does that mean you didn't meet your goal? You know, so I like to really dig deeper and like, what does that mean to you? And what I often hear actually from a lot of clients and a lot of parents, and it's interesting because Roe did a survey on this and found something similar, is that one of their goals is to really be able to be active with their children or to go on the roller coaster with their child or to go on the plane without the seatbelt extender with their family, right? And actually, Roe did a survey and actually found that 40% of their patients say they're doing more physical activities with their kids now that they're on GLP ones and have been successful with that health journey. And I and I just love that. I mean, I think there is so much joy, you know, in being able to experience life with your family and with kids and be able to play, right? Like just as adults, be able to play. And things are easier when you have that weight loss and that like kind of health journey that you're on.

SPEAKER_03: 30:02

Yeah. One of the things, and I want to hear more about your personal experience as a mother too, but one of the things I'm curious if other people are having that you have spoken to, um, mental health benefits. So for me, it pulled me out of my postpartum. I would say undiagnosed anxiety, OCD, depression, whatever it was, my my intrusive thoughts, it like was able to quiet those. Do you see clients taking this postpartum and having similar results? Or is my brain just like weird? Your brain is not weird.

SPEAKER_01: 30:36

Let's just clarify that. Your brain is not weird at all. Um, so I don't have any clients right now that take this postpartum, but I hear about it a lot more in terms of people seeking this option in the postpartum phase. And it's interesting because I think in postpartum, like let's forget about food noise for a minute. just like blur, right? There's just a cloud over your head. And there's like noise in general or fog. Um so it, you know, what you just said makes makes complete sense. And the other mental health benefits just in general of you know taking that foo noise away or or making it quieter, right? Turning down that that knob is that I like to think of it as there's now more space for other things. Right. Like like if we think about our brain being full of like let's say open tabs, right? Like the computer. My my my tabs are all open right now. There's so many tabs that are open in the background. But let's just imagine every tab that's open is related to food or eating. Right. And now like most of those are minimized. Most of them are like they're no you got like five open instead of a hundred of right, exactly. There is so much more space for other things in your life. So for instance, I think from a CBT perspective, from the psychology perspective, when that food noise becomes quieter, people are able to do some of the work in understanding their relationship with their body, the relationship with food on a whole new level. You know, a lot of people I think didn't understand maybe that they were turning to food as a coping mechanism, right? I mean lots of people do. There's nothing wrong with that. But it's when it's the only coping mechanism it becomes a problem. Or I'm hearing a lot now from clients saying, wow, like I know what hunger feels like. I never really knew what hunger felt like because it was just like this constant hunger chatter. So I think a huge benefit of the food noise becoming quieter in result of the GLP1 is that there is more space to do that internal work, but also more space to just be present in your life, right? Like instead of constantly be thinking about when you're eating next, you're able to sit down and enjoy the time with your family, with your kids, or enjoy a meal without thinking about, you know, am I eating too much or am I eating too little? Am I going to be hungry later? It's just amazing the kind of space that opens up for from that.

SPEAKER_04: 33:01

I kind of think of all the intuitive eating stuff that was really popular a few years ago. And kind of what you're saying, it seems like maybe people weren't really able to connect their intuition to what they were eating for a long time because of all that food noise. I mean do you think there's something there?

SPEAKER_01: 33:17

Absolutely yeah so there's mindful eating and intuitive eating and they overlap somewhat and I and I agree I think you know it's interesting because I remember I have two children and I remember when my son was born the first watching him eat was very eye-opening for me as a mom, but being a psychologist in this field. And I remember thinking like wow we are all born being intuitive eaters. Like they eat when they're hungry, they stop when they're full. Amazing right it would be incredible if we all could do that all the time. But because of all the noise I'm not just saying noise in our brain, but noise around us all the messages, all the media, all the you know flashes of food everywhere makes that really hard and we lose that kind of natural intuition. And I do agree that I think the food noise being quieter or or lessened kind of allows people to do that more intuitive work. Even if it's just let me pause and check in with myself, right? Like I often say when people are participating in emotional eating like if you can catch it like pause what am I doing right now? Like why am I in the kitchen? Like do I want to be in the kitchen? Am I hungry? Am I bored? Am I stressed? What's going on? When the food noise is so loud, it's really hard to do that. Like so hard. It's almost like if I said to you, I want you to go to the gym and run for an hour and like you've never done that before you're not, it's almost impossible. But with the food noise being quieter, it's like, oh, I can do that. That's what you meant now. Like there's space and availability to do it. So yeah, I I absolutely agree and that's such a great analogy.

SPEAKER_03: 34:53

So you had your were you in this space prior to having your first child or did this come around after? Um related to GLP1s? No, just related to therapy, CBT, all of that.

SPEAKER_01: 35:06

Wow. Oh yeah. Okay. I um I probably look like I I've heard I look younger than I am. Maybe not. But um yes I've been oh my gosh I think I got my doctorate in 2010 ish. So I've been in the space for a while and I had both of my children I would say a little later than than the norm. So yeah I've been in as a psychologist specializing in like disordered eating and the treatment of obesity for years. I actually worked in a hospital in the bariatric surgery department prior to GLP1's kind of coming to the rise so to say um and then I left the hospital job in 2016. And then just I would say in the past five ish years there's been like obviously a huge rise in GLP1 use. And so my work has kind of shifted but not. And what I mean by that is what I'm hearing people are experiencing with GLP1s and like of course they are. We've seen this for years in the bariatric surgery you know in people that have bariatric surgery. I mean I think weight loss large weight loss it kind of is the same regardless of how you get there. Right. Like the journey is different but you end up in this healthier place if you're meant to you know like be losing weight in that sense. But what we see is very common relationship changes, the emotional changes, the struggles do I tell people, do I not tell people so from a mental health perspective on the emotional health side I'm seeing the exact same thing I saw years ago in people who had bariatric surgery.

SPEAKER_04: 36:38

That's super interesting. Yeah. Do you have any strategies or tips or anything like that for responding when people make comments on your body absolutely I love that question.

SPEAKER_01: 36:49

So what I always recommend is actually that we take time like we're doing right now to come up with some responses in advance. So when you're not emotional, when you're not in the moment you're not caught off guard you already have some sample scripts ready to go. Now it's so important that we do that because in the moment I always think back to like holidays like you're at the holiday meal and you haven't seen so and so for years and they're like oh my God you gained so much weight or oh my gosh you lost so much weight. What are you doing? And you're like, wait, what a minute like I would seen you in years and this is what you're going to say to me. And you get caught off guard and that can be really scary and overwhelming and emotional right maybe you just had a baby or maybe you're pregnant and you're not telling anybody yet like whatever it is. And it can be quite emotional. And I think when we're emotional we start trying to explain the whole world right but really all we need to do is state it like state a fact and move on. So like I think you know some sample scripts of course depending on the situation and who you're talking to and what you're comfortable sharing. But I like to give an example something like you know like I decided you know I'm I'm I'm working with a healthcare provider or I decided to you know do XYZ and I'm working with my doctor like we don't need to talk about this right now type of thing. Again, depending on what you want to share but coming up with those pre-planned responses are so wonderful to just have in your pocket. So whenever somebody asks it can be like this is what you say and you move on. If you want to talk about it, great. But if we take the emotion out of the equation it kind of like stops the questions right it's just like yep I decided that I wanted to get healthier I'm talking to my doctor and I'm looking into my options or whatever it is. Done. Like people aren't really going to ask more questions or maybe they're in a similar position and they'll ask more questions. But we want to try to have those sample scripts ready to go.

SPEAKER_04: 38:45

So I don't know if you want to give me like a sample situation, we can come up with some together if you want you know I had a situation a few months ago where I ran into someone who I hadn't seen in years and she was like oh my God you've lost so much weight. The last time I saw you you were four months like you had just had your babies. First of all, I was actually much smaller than I am now then. But secondly even if that weren't the case why would you say that about shut the F up you know 400 postpartum right so and again for anyone listening do not comment on people's body shape or size.

SPEAKER_01: 39:20

There are so many more interesting things about people I like to find like other like my friends know I will never comment about their body shape or size unless I actively know that they're like on a health journey and trying to lose weight or something like that. But I'm always like oh my God I love your outfit or wow you're really glowing today or you're shining or you look so happy or you know things like that. But but that one, I I imagine I mean how did you respond or or I'm gonna say how did you react? Because in the moment without having a response prepared, I think we react as opposed to respond. But how did you respond or react to that?

SPEAKER_04: 39:58

I think I said no I haven't and she was like yes you have the last time I saw you you know you had the two big she was trying to be nice.

SPEAKER_01: 40:06

I'm like no so another thing that I like to remind people as much as I tell people not to do that people do do it. And most of the time it comes from a place where the person is trying to be complimentary and coming from a good place most of the time but not always. But I think it's important to remember that like they probably were trying to give you a compliment but it comes off not as a compliment. And then many times people internalize it and they're like wow I must have been really heavy before wow what was wrong with me before if now you think I lost so much weight. But but yeah these this is why I don't like people commenting about it. Again we don't know what anyone's going through. But also having those sample scripts ready to go just makes it so much easier to be able to respond and not react.

SPEAKER_03: 40:58

I also know people who get upset because they're so used to people commenting and being like well why didn't they comment on it? And I had a friend who she got on GLP one she's like lost 20 pounds and no one said a word and I was like well that's not something we do anymore. We don't talk about people's bodies and she's like oh but I and I'm like I'll give you compliments but I think I think that is hard too because growing up in the 90s and early aughts we're all so used to uh so many of us are used to commenting on that or being commented on and so like with my friend's kids I'm really especially with the girls which I need to start being more careful with my son because he this is so weird. Okay I don't know if you you all are dealing with this but since he has started kindergarten he'll come home and say things about his body like oh my belly's so big they said my belly's too big I need to have a smaller belly and I'm like you're five I'm like your belly is perfect like what I was like was it a girl or a boy and he's like a girl and I'm like so they're getting that message somewhere exactly along the line and it's like I'm like so I'm trying to change my wording to be like instead of you're so heavy of you're growing up so fast you know like because it is hard and he's like well you said I'm heavy and I have a big belly they said and I'm like you're five like you're what?

SPEAKER_04: 42:11

Yeah it's so hard mom you pick them up and you're like oh my God you're getting so much heavier and then you don't realize how that can get in their heads. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 42:19

Yeah I was just gonna say I I actually have heard several stories like what you just described for children in kindergarten and our first grade. I haven't experienced it necessarily with with my child yet. But I think that just goes to remind us that words matter, right? And words are so powerful. And even if we mean heavy as in like um you know like you're growing you know they should like children should be gaining weight right they hear it and internalize it. And then they go to school and somebody says something about the belly and now they're in their brain they're like well mommy said I'm heavy oh you said I have a big belly oh that must mean XYZ right. So I think it's just a reminder to us all and nobody's perfect. We're all just doing the best that we can but to remind us to be mindful of the words we use around our children, not just about ourselves or rather not just to them but also about ourselves, right? Children hear everything and I mean everything like the teeniest little quiet thing you're trying to say in the corner, they heard. And they absorb it all and they internalize it. So the example I always like to give is if you if anybody is in a mirror being like oh I'm so fat or this or that and a child hears that you are their like superhero. Like you are their superhero your parent your you as a parent and they're like oh my God, well mommy's so beautiful and she's like my superhero and if she thinks she's fat, I must be fat, right? Or I must not be good enough because she's not good enough in in her eyes. So I think it's just so important to be mindful of that. And I think when it comes to children in particular I like to use words like strong. So I'll give you an example my son over the summer was doing um like a swim class and in the locker room it was like an old school scale. And of course my son's like this is fun. Let's hop on it every time. And I'm like great let's get your height it's like you know the one with the height and the weight. But he's always like let's do my weed and see what it is. And he's like what is it? And I'm like wow you're getting so strong like every week that's all I said. I just said wow you're getting so strong like the number doesn't matter you know like it doesn't matter what it says but you're getting so strong. So kind of using that terminology I think can is is at least helpful. It's it's what I do. It's you know it doesn't work for everybody. But I think thinking about other ways to do that, you know, like you're getting strong or wow you're you're getting you know something. So now you're able to do XYZ right like to relate it back to like an activity that they do or or something like that. But to really be mindful of the kind of defining or labeling in these other types of words or even just taking the focus off of the weight. Right. Like I I think even talking to children about health journey is is really important right like I think being honest and open with children about if somebody's on a medication like you know I'm on a medication to treat a disease or to treat something or because I'm you know trying to get healthier I think can be important the same way as if a public figure loses weight, right? It's like poof like no, they are doing something to make it happen. And again to emphasize going to the gym and making healthier choices and moving our bodies things like that and not putting so much emphasis on one thing but kind of like I'm doing all of these things that I'm incorporating into my routine and it's making me healthier or stronger things like that.

SPEAKER_03: 45:49

I do that with my son for me. I'm like I need to get stronger like you and daddy is usually how I do that. But it it made me really sad for him obviously but then also for the girls that they're internalizing that so early like I'm hearing about girls like I have a friend who is a psychologist at a school and she is seeing like 10 year olds have eating issues. And I'm like there there's just so much more like talk about space to do other things. Like how are you gonna go pretend you're a cat if you're worried about your belly size like it's it's so unfortunate and sad.

SPEAKER_01: 46:28

And again, you know it's like what you said before about the the young girl that said something to your son you know like they're getting these messages from somewhere I'm not gonna blame the parents it could be from anywhere right it could be social media um but they could be a babysitter could be anything. Exactly but they're getting these messages from somewhere and I think that's why it's really important that we're having open and honest conversations with our children. And I think I just said this to a client the other day and I'm gonna say this to you, Sam your child came home and shared that with you. And that's actually really powerful. That's telling you that your child trusts you and that you are a safe place for them. So I think the, you know, like the good news is they're being open with you. And then that is then allowing a conversation to happen. Right. So I think we can't be afraid of having those conversations if they come to us. It is a sign that your child is comfortable enough with you. Now let's like take it a step further and like talk about it in a positive way. Right. But but it is happening and I think that's why it's really important that we we do lots of open-ended questions with our children, right? Even like tell me about your day at school as opposed to did you have fun today? Right. Just like tell me about what what the person said you know how did that make you feel like let's talk about it. And then see if we can like reverse it a little bit or reframe it in a way that is productive for everybody.

SPEAKER_03: 47:56

Yeah what is something so I try to tell him oh it's strong our bellies get full what after we eat good food and look at mom and dad's belly. We all have big bellies having a big belly is a big thing and we but I was trying to think of I'm like what do you say when your kid who is so young or kid of any age because I'm sure teenagers are dealing with this. Yeah. Yeah like for instance okay here is something that he said to me I I broke out last week and I was like oh it's so ugly and he's like don't say that that is a bad word and I was like you know what you're right and I'm like is there a way that I could teach him that it is bad work like it's bad to comment on people's bodies so he can tell if somebody comments on him, don't comment on my body just like don't touch my body because they know that. Right.

SPEAKER_01: 48:39

Yeah I mean I think we can teach our children that we don't talk about body shape and size right okay um and and I think yeah just like you're right like we don't touch other people um we don't talk about that and and I think you know it's important to also remind you know like I'm thinking of there's a book I'm gonna get the name wrong it's a children's book about like crayons but it's about how different people come in different colors right yeah and I think it's a good kind of analogy or like kind of learning moment to think about of also sharing that people come in different shapes and sizes. Right. And there's nothing wrong with that right like and like using your example I would almost be like well I'm sure everybody in your classroom has a different size belly and that's okay. You know, that also makes them them right like we all come in different shapes and sizes and that's okay. Just like we all come in different colors and different backgrounds like that makes us uniquely us. So again yes I know we want to be like mindful of health wise but I think it's important to share that because we don't want say your child to now go to school and comment on somebody else's belly because somebody commented on his as opposed to you know what we don't comment about it and the power of and is very powerful and individuals come in all different shapes and sizes and we love everybody no matter what their shape and size kind of thing. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03: 50:06

Okay that's good advice I'm gonna I'm gonna try this out.

SPEAKER_01: 50:08

Yeah I love it. Follow up and let me know how it goes.

SPEAKER_04: 50:11

I will what about if someone comments on your kid's body is there anything that you would recommend saying to kind of nip it in the bud without your kid really being completely privy to do you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01: 50:25

Like in front of your kid is there anything you'd recommend saying so like if you're somewhere and your child's there and somebody says something to your child while you're there. So you know it's it's complicated because you know again I I think it might depend on the age of the child also. But what I tend to do in any situation like this, it could not even be about body shape and size, but like if there's some kind of disagreement or you say something negative about my child, I try to model what I would eventually want my child to say. So I might be like you know that's that's not really nice that we're commenting on somebody else's body you know or maybe like using the language I used before like you know that's not very nice that we comment on somebody else's body. Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes. Maybe we could think of something kinder to say right.

SPEAKER_03: 51:15

What if it's a compliment though what if they're like oh she's so pretty because that is I know girls get that and I like I hate that I can't say oh you're so cute. I'll be like oh I love your shoes you know like things like that because I am so conscious of that. What if they're saying something on the flip side like that is meant to be nice.

SPEAKER_01: 51:31

Right. So what I tend to do in situations like that is I kind of just say thanks and move on. Like just don't put too much emphasis on it, right? Because you know they're trying to be nice. It's a nice compliment but like thank you and move on. Let's not like overcomplicate it or put too much kind of pressure or power to it in a way. And I think that's okay. And then if you if it came up you could have then a private conversation with your child about it later. If they were like oh mommy I wonder why they said that I don't feel pretty or something you know you could then that could be like a door opening to a deeper conversation. But I think just not putting so much emphasis on it.

unknown: 52:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 52:12

So you address it on the negative side kind of like just move past it on the positive.

SPEAKER_01: 52:18

Yeah and and actually even even speaking of that like like say you're at a holiday family gathering and somebody's like oh you lost we could also take that approach right just being like thanks move on right or like thanks change the topic if if you want to um you know not every conversation needs to be a learning experience or like an educational experience. I think as a parent at some point you can have that deeper conversation with your child. But like sometimes I'm like it's not my job to tell you that this is not appropriate. Sometimes it is this actually happened to me a few months ago and I actually like my husband actually was like whoa I cannot believe you just said that to her like knowing what she does. But I literally was like oh excuse me and I like left the room um because I was like I'm not gonna say something to this person right now but like it was very inappropriate. But I think that's true, like look like kind of gauging the room and being like what's appropriate right now. Like my job is not to educate everybody although yes that's what I try to do on platforms like this. But you have to think about that moment also like maybe it's just better to say thank you and move on and that's that. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04: 53:27

Yeah even for you being in this space for so long before you had kids were you prepared for how you personally handled your own body changing during pregnancy and postpartum and all of that or were there things that threw you for a loop?

SPEAKER_01: 53:45

So I don't think we're ever fully prepared. Right. I often joke that pregnancy made me be more flexible with my thinking. Like I think I've always been that this is the work that I do like mindset shifts and CBT I think I've always been a little bit flexible but I'm also like a type A person and want plans to go as planned and things like that. And I remember like just accepting and giving up some of that control, being like, I don't know right like oh let's just wait to the next doctor's appointment like right now. So I'm also a runner. And I actually did was able to run throughout both pregnancies which I think was pretty amazing and probably not probably was extremely helpful in terms of my body image and my relationship with my body while I went through this knowing that I could still run. But I remember being like well today the doctor says I can run but next week they may not right so but I I don't think we're ever prepared and that's okay because as I say life happens we can't always be prepared we can mentally be prepared but then when it actually happens it's like what do we do with that right so um you know I I feel very fortunate that I tend to eat healthy and have a lot of positive health behaviors in my life. So I didn't need to change really anything so to say um when it came to during my pregnancy but I think the biggest or hardest part for me was you know not knowing what was going to happen. And you know I think the beginning stage of pregnancy is so tough. Like I remember joking with my husband I wish I had a post-it note on my forehead that just said I'm pregnant. Because it was like before you tell everybody you're pregnant but you like look, you don't look pregnant but like you're just gaining weight. Right. It's like you're just you're just gaining weight. And and I think that was a a difficult time for me for sure. Cause like you don't like my belly didn't pop yet but I'm just gaining weight. Um and and similarly to the work that I do with my clients, I just reminded myself like all right you're gaining weight and that's a good thing. Right. You're supposed to be gaining weight you're growing a baby. I need to be gaining weight if I'm not gaining weight that's a problem. Right. So like using a lot of that self-talk worked for me and I know works for my clients but it was like one of those moments that was like oh this is what I've been selling my clients do to do and like now I'm doing it and I got it.

SPEAKER_03: 56:11

Um but we're never fully prepared again yeah is there anything you wish you knew going into motherhood great question.

SPEAKER_01: 56:22

Oh my gosh. Or maybe advice that you would give the advice that I would give would definitely be that we aren't going to know all the answers and we aren't supposed to right like just we're gonna have to take it kind of as it goes sometimes and give up some of that control. And also the mother or parent intuition I think trust yourself. Like I remember so many times people would ask me for advice being that I'm a psychologist, but I'm not a parenting expert and I'm not a child psychologist. And I would say to them this is what worked for me but I'm the best mother for my child. I'm not the best mother for your child. So you need to like take a moment and think about you and your child and what feels right to you. But oftentimes we know like we have that gut feeling we have that instinct that we know what's going on and like to trust that right like to I almost want to say like even with breastfeeding and pumping like wow the second time around was so different than the first because the first time I'm like oh my God I spilled the teeniest bit oh my God the second time I'm like ah whatever. But if you can try to like take some of that mentality with you even to the with the first pregnancy and and child I think is helpful because they're all okay. Right? Like they're okay. And what I'm gonna add is you are also important. Like too much emphasis I think on the baby and not enough on the mother and check on your friends. Right? Like don't just ask how the baby's doing like how are you doing? I think it's really important for for people going through this as well. There's it can feel very lonely I think even through the GLP1 journey it could feel very lonely you know find your people find your support and and lean on them.

SPEAKER_03: 58:16

I think that's great advice. Yeah and I know we have to wrap up quick so we have one more question.

SPEAKER_04: 58:22

Yeah I know we didn't get to talk about motherhood as much as we could have and hopefully we'll have you back on another time to do more of a motherhood chat. But what is a part of being a parent that has surprised you with how positive or how joyful it is oh my gosh so a few things.

SPEAKER_01: 58:40

I would say first of all I thank my children for teaching me to be more patient and teaching me to be more playful. You know like sitting down on the floor and playing with them is such a joy. And I think as we mature again I'm using that word now as we mature we forget about that. Like one of my greatest joys is like going to the playground with them and like going on a slide with them, you know, like or sitting on the swing with them. Like it is really bringing so much more play and joy I think into my life um and and they taught me that without them I probably would be working 247. So yeah I I think it's it's motherhood is really fascinating and such a special thing.

SPEAKER_03: 59:27

Yeah I love that uh the the working 247 I really relate to that because now I'm like uh no there's something more fulfilling over here but I do still enjoy my work but yeah absolutely insane I absolutely love my work and I love that I have to stop at a certain time to pick up my children from school and do those things.

SPEAKER_01: 59:45

And again that's my choice you know like I I feel very fortunate that I have the choice to be able to stop working at a certain time and be with my children. Not everybody has that um so but I do love the work that I do as well.

SPEAKER_03: 59:58

Yeah. And um where can people find you? We'll we'll link it in the show notes definitely but where can people find you if they want to learn more or if they want to learn more about how to get their hands on Roe, I might want to get my hands on Roe and stuff.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:12

Yeah. So people can find me on social media platforms and on my website drachelnyc or drreach onyc.com. My book info is actually is also on there. And if people are interested in hearing more about Ro they can go to Roe's website. But I'm also I always tell people as you know I can't provide therapy through email or social media platforms or anything like that, but I can point you in the right direction. So if people want to reach out to me, have any questions, I'm happy to you know send info to, you know, for Roe or or any other questions that way as well. I'm happy to to share that.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:50

Okay. Awesome. Well thank you so much. This has been so wonderful and it's been great to meet you. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:56

I loved it. Thank you for having me. And thank you for doing the work that you guys are doing and spreading this knowledge.

SPEAKER_04: 1:01:01

And you too.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:02

Thank you for your work. Thank you.