The Truth About: Building A Career And Identity As A Creator Mom with Cameron Rogers

A high-pressure desk at JP Morgan. A meal-prep side account called Freckled Foodie. A car accident that made everything loud and urgent. Cameron Rogers takes us through the leap from finance to full-time creator and the even bigger transition that came with becoming a mother during a global pandemic. We get candid about how identity can fracture and reform in those first months, why postpartum depression doesn’t always look like you expect, and how honest help—childcare, a cleaning routine, and a truly shared division of labor—keeps families and careers afloat.

We dig into the mental health side that rarely shows up on glossy feeds: intrusive thoughts that arrive like movie scenes you never asked to see, anxiety that clings to every doorbell, and the slow recalibration of medication, sleep, and boundaries that make days feel doable again. Cameron shares how she set guardrails around her kids’ privacy while still speaking openly about motherhood’s hardest edges, and why transparency about support matters. You’ll hear how she reframed “real work,” built a financial runway, and grew a sustainable creator business—with a podcast schedule, a team, and a product designed for busy, buzzing minds: Quiet Your Mind and Busy Your Hands.

There’s practical wisdom here too: swapping but for and to hold two truths without guilt, carving out time that belongs only to you, and using small joys like romance novels to reset attention and rekindle desire. We also talk Fair Play, the realities of entrepreneurship, the loss of corporate stability, and the joy of building your own team. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re allowed to love your kids and need space, to be grateful for work and still crave rest, this conversation offers language, tools, and relief.

If this resonated, follow and subscribe for more real talk on motherhood, mental health, and creative work. Share the episode with a friend who needs permission to say and instead of but, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Transcript

Meet Cameron: Creator, Mom, Advocate

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Cameron Rogers, we are so excited to have you. Welcome to Do You Want the Truth.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Thank you for having me. I love being a guest. It's so much nicer, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Yes, it's a different experience for sure. But you have a podcast of your own. So can you tell everyone a little bit about your podcast, your content, what you're working on now, and who you are? Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

I am a content creator, podcast host of Conversations with Cam, mental health advocate, and mom of two. My content and my show both primarily focus on motherhood and mental health, the intersection of the two. With that, like some lifestyle content, clothes, a little bit of food, kind of touches everything, quite honestly. It's like my own little conversation with my best friends. So we kind of go everywhere. And also founder of Quiet Your Mind and Busy Your Hands, which is a journal and coloring affirmation book. We have two adult editions and then a kids' edition that's inclusive of Gratitude Journal Pages, conversation prompts, coloring affirmations, and some really cute stickers.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Were you creating content before you had kids?

From Freckled Foodie To Full-Time Creator

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Yeah. I started so I started my account in 2016, which feels like forever ago. And it was food, it was all food. So that was when I was working a corporate job and like keeping my life and my job and everything very separate than the Instagram. It was all meal prep and recipes, and it was under the pseudonym Freckled Foodie. And then I quit my job in 2018, like May 2018 or was it? Yeah, May 2018. And that's when I primarily was still focused on food, but I started sharing more about myself and my own mental health journey. And that was when I really felt like I was connecting with people on a deeper level and finding this community and realizing, I mean, partially self-serving that I wasn't alone in what I was experiencing. But then also realizing I would get all these messages of being like, I felt so alone in this, and you're making me realize that I'm not. And that for me felt way more affirming and interesting than recipes I was making. And then of course, when I became pregnant, like that's when it started to shift more towards the mental, I mean the motherhood aspect of things.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

I was gonna say, I'm so curious when people quit their jobs and become content creators. Like, what are the logistics of that? Because you see it happen a lot, but it's like, did you have to hit a certain financial like threshold or was it just burnout?

Quitting Finance And Calculated Risk

SPEAKER_01 3:00

No, I yeah, I'm happy to go into detail. So this was in 2018 where we didn't really see this often. Like there was no, I think in today's world, we see these content creators and we realize, oh, you can actually make money off of this. And we're more privy to know how they're actually making money and potentially how much money they're making, and realizing, oh, this is an actual career. In 2018, that was not the case. It was more, I mean, A, it was just Instagram and then blogging. And you saw some people doing it, but it was kind of few and far between from what I was consuming. It was like Ariel Charnas, that was the day. Exactly. Yeah. It was that. And then it was like a few food wellness influencers. And so I was working in sales and trading, so a completely different life. And that's my background. Oh my god, really?

SPEAKER_02 3:49

Where were you at sales enablement? I was at Salesforce and Autodesk and Unity, but yeah, it's an exhausting life.

Pandemic Babies And Postpartum Reality

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Yeah. So I was at JP Morgan doing municipal bond trading, but on the sales team. And just like a completely different life than what I'm doing now. And the Instagram was really this like creative, fun outlet for me. And I was cooking and I was posting all these recipes. And again, I was meal prepping all of my meals because I was at the desk for so many hours. And oh, you said trading, not trading. My bad. Yeah. My bad. I didn't do that every way. That's about when you said Salesforce, I was like, I don't think that's the same, but that's totally fine because there could have been a desk I didn't know about. Um and but sales is similarly exhausting. And I then had this account and I felt like there was so much I wanted to do with it. And I was not making money, truthfully, I had not won sponsorship, nothing. I think I had, I always say, I wish I actually, I need to find some historical data because I don't know the number, but I think I had maybe 5,000 followers. It was not this big thing. But I had also been in school online to become a certified health coach. And I was like meal prepping for myself and all of my friends. Like I would spend all weekend crazy. I don't know what energy I had. I guess this was like my way of spending my time before I had kids. But like I would spend all week creating a meal plan and a menu, and then I would send it to my friends, and then they would tell me what they wanted, and then I would spend all weekend buying groceries and cooking and delivering the meals to them. And like they would basically cover the groceries. I wasn't making money off of it, but I thought I could. So I had this moment where I really wanted to leave my job, but it was such a badge of honor for me. I loved the immediate respect I got from people when I said I worked at JP Morgan. And also the golden handcuffs are very real. Like I was making very good money, and you continue to just make more and more. And I was terrified of my ego taking that hit and what would I tell people I did. So I'd kind of come to terms with I'm gonna stay here. I have this awesome career path. I did, in fact, really enjoy my job. There were parts of it that turned up the dial on some of my not so great tendencies, but I did love it. And I then actually got hit by a car and I had a really bad concussion and I was on disability. And it was that kind of wake-up moment where I realized I was way more anxious than I had come to terms with. And I wasn't quite as happy as I wanted to be, quite honestly. And I am someone who I have a very intense work ethic and I really believe in myself. And I was like, I know I can make something of this. What it is, I'm not sure. But I feel very in tune with my gut. And my gut was like, you need to go try. So I left on good terms, knowing that like the corporate world was always there. And I also think it's very important to acknowledge I come from a financial privileged background. So I had the means to like be able to save money. I wasn't paying off student debt. I was making a very good salary. So I had like created this cushion of savings within my salary. And I assessed it in a sense of how much money can I live off? Like, how much can I put aside to live off of for the next six months? Because with this job that I wanted to pursue, there was no overhead. I didn't need a brick and mortar space. I didn't need to hire a team. I didn't need supplies. And then how much money do I need to make to like maintain baseline living that I have right now? And I was also, it was in between getting engaged and getting married. So my husband and I were combining our finances. I was on his healthcare. So I was in this position to be able to do it. And of course, it shifted in many ways. I'm no longer meal prepping for people. But like when I left, I was actually in homes meal prepping. I was health coaching. So I was doing things that I don't do now, but that's how I was actually making money. I wasn't making money off of my social media when I left. Gotcha. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Oh, I wish there was like a family meal prepper. There probably is, but there are so many.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

There's so many.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

We've tried like the ones that do the like little spoon and all of those. And my family does not eat those.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Oh, really? We um like a diehard little spoon parent. My kids love that. My kids love the lunchers. Love little spoon. Not sponsored, by the way. Yeah. I work with them, but I've paid for my own deliveries for like four years now. I love them. I actually every kid is so different.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Yeah. I actually went to high school with the founder.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

Oh, did you? Yeah. Really? Wow. They've been around for a while though, because I, yeah. So, Zara, I interrupted you a while ago. Do you want to ask your question? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

So I'm really curious, you know, being a content creator and kind of having this personal brand as you entered motherhood, do you think that complicated your personal identity shift of becoming a mother? Or did it in some way kind of help you define like who you are and who you were as you were transitioning into that phase?

SPEAKER_01 8:52

I think it confused things more for me. I struggled deeply with matrescence and that identity shift of having my first. And I think that was what led to a lot of my postpartum depression. And thankfully, I didn't feel any of those things with my second. So I think it really was clear like the difference of emotions between those two postpartums. And it was deeply tied to that identity shift. And I think part of it was my job was so centered around my life and myself and my thoughts, which can be amazing and very confusing and exhausting, quite honestly. But I remember being like, I'm not gonna become a mommy blogger. I don't know what I had such beef against mommy bloggers for. And I think I saw it somewhere that someone referenced me as one and it was like a dagger to my soul. I was like, no, like I talk about so much. Like motherhood has become my whole identity. And there was that pushback internally for me, where I didn't want it to be my whole thing because it felt like it was my whole thing in real life. I didn't want it to also consume my work. And I think now I've found this mix where I realize that a lot of my content is around motherhood. However, I've also carved out aspects of my life, whether it's personal or whether it's parts of my work that are solely for me, that have nothing to do with being a mom. And I think that that is one of the most important things that we can all do as moms. And I get that that career fills that bucket for many, but for me, they're so intertwined that like I've had to really be intentional about carving out things that are just for me and have nothing to do with me being a mom.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

It honestly sounds like being a mother in general. Like you have to be very intentional.

Identity, Matrescence, And Boundaries Online

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Well, and I also think there's been such a shift in how people are talking about motherhood on social media, where I think, like you, you know, you have a lot of privacy around your kids, but you can still talk about motherhood as you're experiencing it. Whereas I think in the beginning it was there were sort of these blurred lines between like respecting your kids' privacy and maybe putting too much out there. And I think there's like a new class of content creators who have really figured that out, yourself included. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

I mean, it's a constant fine line to walk and like to figure out what the boundary is and what what I want to share and what I don't want to share and how I want to share it. And it's, I will say it makes things a little bit more difficult in the sharing of an experience, because it'd be easy to just post the video that I have because I love taking videos for our family. So to then have to figure out like, how do I reiterate these emotions from my lens that have less to do with my kid and is not including them, it's like that extra step, but it's something that I feel very strongly about personally.

SPEAKER_03 11:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

I'm sure your kids will thank you in the future. I hope. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

Watch, they're like, no, I wanted to be a superstar.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

I joke about this all the time because my one son is like very theatrical and dramatic, and like he's in acting. And I'm like, I mean, we kind of could just set up his career now, but I hope he doesn't hate me for this.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

No, he'll he'll know what it's like to be around it. What year did you give birth to your first child? 2021. Okay. So while you were saying, you know, there was you had depression with the first one. I'm just now coming to understand how much having a kid during the pandemic really impacted the experience. Like, Zara, I know you had your kids prior to the pandemic, but I just thought motherhood was this hard. And now I'm looking around at my friends having kids or whatever. And it's still hard. Like, yeah. But I think there was something about having kids in those, you know, two-year pandemic period that like we didn't even know how isolated we were or what it was supposed to look like. Yeah. Um, and what what year did you have your second kid?

SPEAKER_01 12:46

2023.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

So not that far out, but man, that's also so close together. Um, they were two and a half years apart. Yeah. I feel like with my first, we were, I r vividly remember, like I got vaccinated early because I was pregnant. So not everyone was vaccinated. And then my husband got vaccinated like two weeks before I delivered. And then shortly after I gave birth was when everyone had access to the vaccine. So I remember us all feeling like, oh, COVID is over, and this like lifting. And that honestly was one of the more confusing windows of time for me because I lived in New York. New York was like back and better than ever for this one month period. And I was four weeks postpartum, so depressed. Everyone was like out gallivanting and drinking in the streets, having the time of their life. And I was like, wait, I'm up all night breastfeeding. Like, what is going on? I miss the real world. I also feel like because I got pregnant during COVID, I didn't have this like not that everyone, not that you get this, and I've probably romanticized this fantasy that isn't even real, but this kind of like last aspect of life before children was almost stripped from us because of COVID. Um and so I felt that. And then I don't think, to your point, Sam, I don't think I realized the underlying anxiety around it all until I had my second. And I was like, oh, I'm not terrified of everyone walking in the house. Like, sure, there's the nerves because it's a newborn, but I just remember my heart sinking all the time of someone texting me who I had seen, being like, hey, I'm so sorry. I just got a text from someone I saw the day before you that they have COVID. So I don't know if I have it, but I saw you, and then just like that waiting game of are we gonna get it? It was just so anxiety inducing.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

Yeah. I recently got COVID, like a couple of weeks ago. Oh god. And I was like, I'm not gonna get my COVID and flu shot. I'm fine. And then the next week, my husband and my son got them. I still need to go get mine, but I got COVID the next week. So it wouldn't have even taken taken effect. But um, I was like, I think I have COVID. This is the only illness because you know how it has a very distinct, I don't know if COVID for you all has like a very distinct feeling. And then it just kind of took me back to that time when I was just like, I had my son in July of 2020. And so I was just deathly afraid. Like we did not let anyone in the house. Like it was you had to isolate for two weeks if you didn't. And I just remember that anxiety, and I'm like, oh wow, five years later, and I'm like, I don't need this vaccine that I was begging for. It's like one of those things where I'm like, okay, I need, I need to like grow up and go get my shots and be sick for a day.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

And like Yeah, that window of time was really crazy when I think about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

How did you get out of your postpartum depression and decide to have a second kid after having that experience?

Childcare, Fair Play, And Real Help

SPEAKER_01 15:40

So for me, my postpartum depression hit more around month like four to six-ish. So I made the decision decision to stop breastfeeding, which actually did help me. And obviously, everyone's experience is very different. I had been on medication my entire pregnancy and into um postpartum. And so, like SSRI. Yeah. So increasing my dosage was something that really helped and help and assistance, obviously, with my prescriber and doctor. And for me, also, like again, we talk about work and it being so intertwined with my identity and all of that, I never took a maternity leave. Like I I quote, I think I said I did, but like I nothing changed. So I think there was just this like very intense burnout and sleep deprivation that all kind of like accumulated to this moment where I was quote unquote returning to work, but I had never taken off. And I was like, who am I? What like what is even going on? And it was so interesting because I've experienced bouts of depression before, but I always thought that postpartum depression was kind of like aimed at the child. And that was the polar opposite of what I felt. I was like, you are the only thing that I love and feel sure about, and the rest of my world feels turned upside down, and I including myself. And I think for me it was a mix of, you know, really assessing my work and childcare, because I also had thought that I didn't need childcare if I was gonna have a job like this, which is comical. Um, and stopping my breastfeeding journey, increasing my medication, and really trying to kind of like what we said before, find these moments of joy that were for me because I had given so much up until that point. I had just like fully leaned in and I needed something that was prioritizing myself outside of my child.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

Did you do it without child care in the beginning?

SPEAKER_01 17:38

Yeah, I I don't know what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

I did too.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

Yeah. Yeah. Like we didn't have any help when he was a newborn, which I liked doing the nights, just us. And obviously, depending where you're listening, I feel like night nurses are either like very common or people have never heard of them. But like in the New York region, they're very common. And we had decided not to have one. And I'm grateful that we didn't. But then we had one a few nights a week with our second, and I was like, oh, this is life-changing. And then when it came to childcare, I remember telling my friend who works for herself, like, well, I can just work when he naps and like I'll figure it out. And around month three or four, when I was like, okay, now it's time for me to fully go back. I hit this wall being like, I can't do this. So we then started playing like a puzzle piece of like, you know, my mom will come one day, my mother-in-law will come one day, and we'll have a babysitter this day. Now I have like actual full child care, but it took a long time for me to get there. It wasn't until we had our second that I was like, oh, we need full, full child care.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Oh wow, it took you that long to be like you were like truth mailing it together. Was it a financial one? Like five. No, it wasn't. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

It was a mental thing. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Same.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

It was really hard for me because I think so often I'm told that I don't have a real job by people. Yeah. It was hard for me to conceptualize that like I I do very much. I don't feel this way at all anymore. It's so interesting. But for so long I did. Where I was like, well, this isn't a real job. So I don't need someone else. Yeah.

Entrepreneurship: Team, Stability, And Burnout

SPEAKER_02 19:19

That is something I, as Zara knows, I've been dealing with things like this on this side, but like we all work for ourselves, right? And there are, you're seeing this more and more. And especially with the demands in the corporate world and return to office. Like I was just at uh a play date yesterday, and one of the women has to go back to the office five days a week and do, you know, schmoozing at night and on the weekends. And so the other partner is like, well, I probably am gonna have to leave my job because she makes more than I do, because we can't make this work. But it's really hard when you're like working for yourself, but also in charge of the household and all of that. So I'm curious, how do you define those lines? And like, this is a selfish question. Yeah. But like how do you share? I love this question. Because yeah, it it is until you start making a significant amount of money, at least in my mind, I'm like, I don't consider it a real job for me, not like you everyone else. I'm like, that is a real job, working for yourself, journalist, content creator. But I think your point to what you said is you felt like you didn't really have a job. So how do you, how do you kind of yeah, how do you do that?

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Yeah. Okay, well, now I will are you do you want to know how I do it now or how I got mentally here? Both of them. Okay. Mentally, I think it was this realization of like the amount of work I'm putting in. Because then I started to think of like, okay, well, what do you qualify job? Because what if you do volunteer work and you're working nine to five, but you're not making anything or much money? That's still a job in my eyes. Like, why have we only defined a job as sitting at a desk in a cubicle from nine to five? Yeah. Like it's so dated. So I started to realize that. And then especially as more people started working from home, I was like, wait, I work more than I did in this job that everyone really like glamorized and was like, oh, you have such a hard job. I'm like, I work so many more hours now than I actually spent working. Because sure, I'd be at the desk for 12 hours, but I definitely was not working the whole time. We'd be like talking shit and like just having conversations for so much of the day. So that was one realization for me. Another was like, yeah, financially, I started to make a decent amount of money. So then it was like, how is this not considered a job? Like, I do want to take this seriously. And I think in this, I'm also very proud of the work I do. And I think that that played a huge role in it of like, what am I doing with my time? What am I creating? And am I proud of what I'm creating? And if I'm proud of what I'm creating and I feel like it's making an impact, and I'm in some way helping someone, which is like my goal at the end of the day with everything I do, that then does feel like labeled as work mentally, in my opinion. And I think in today's era or like this stage of my life right now, when you mention like ha working for yourself and being in charge of the home, like I don't consider myself in charge of our home. So I think it's also such a division of labor conversation. I'm like the biggest proponent of Fairplay by Eve Rodsky. Ah, yes. Yeah, she's come on my show. She's amazing. I love her so much. So my husband and I are very. Very much 50-50 partners, you know, and I think that everyone's situation is different. I know a lot goes into that conversation also of like work hours and financial and what's being brought to the table and stuff. Like we're 50-50 providers, we're 50-50 household owners. So there are many tasks that I never even think about because he owns them, and there are tasks that I own that he doesn't think about. And then as I mentioned, childcare. Like our nanny is literally my angel sent from above and takes on a handful of things for the house. And I tell her all the time, and I'm so like loud and proud about this because I think it's weird when people hide their childcare as content creators. Like she is the sole, her and my husband are the sole reasons I'm able to do anything I do. And like her particularly, my husband and I say are the only reason that we would like consider having a third.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

Oh. Okay. So you're considering having a third. Oh. And okay. So I'm always curious too, because I know like I'm a one and done household. It has never been a conversation for us. And I know, Zara, you've gone back and forth with this too, right? Having a third.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

Yeah. We went back and forth for a while. And now it's uh Are you done closed now? I think we're done. I mean, my kids are seven. I don't think I can go back all the way to the beginning. I also have a really high risk pregnancy. So I think we're done. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

But you're considering. I mean, like we're pretty set on having a third. It's when is the consideration? Exciting. If you ask me, if you ask my husband, he'd probably say the same thing with less confidence.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

Well, it's so, and you're, I mean, you're in New York. So is Eve, right? Isn't she still in New York? Eve. I don't know.

Intrusive Thoughts, Anxiety, And Sharing

SPEAKER_01 24:17

I don't know if she's still in New York. I'm in Jersey. So you're in New York adjacent. I want to say Eve is no longer in New York. I don't know the answer to that. I think I saw her recently.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

She was, I think. Maybe she was in a hook. I can't remember. Um, yeah, but that's so interesting. Okay, so the yeah, we're talking to Fortesa coming up, who just wrote that book, Like, Follow, Subscribe, about, you know, content creators not sharing. Like that they have a ton of help. Yeah. Um, and I remember, like, I love all the content creators. I remember following Ariel back in the day. And, you know, like I just love seeing that. And Zara knows I love Nara Smith. And but I remember the first time I saw her, I was like, wait, who is watching her children and who is cleaning up this mess? Because like you cannot have, you know, checks mixed from scratch and and live like this. And so um, I love that you're transparent about that. Do you have other help too?

SPEAKER_01 25:12

We have so our nanny is here. Now it's less hours because our younger son is in kind of like a twos program, but she used to be nine to five. Um, and then we have someone who comes and like deep cleans our house every other week.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Isn't that the best? Yeah. The best. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

The best. I feel like I live in a hotel after they leave.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

Yeah. Like no one touch anything. That's the worst when you have you have your house cleaned and then your kids are just like dumping Cheerios everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Yeah, we have a dog, so like it lasts all of five seconds on the first floor. There's just hair and dust everywhere. I feel like I can't escape it. But it does feel nice for that hour.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

Yeah, it's literally, and with a dog, you literally have to sweep. I was sweeping because uh it's like vacuuming is too much for me, but like I was having to sweep two to three times every single day when we were fostering a dog. I'm like, how, how is this? And there's just so much dirt. And I'm like, they're not even like, where is it all coming from?

SPEAKER_01 26:12

It's it's never ending with our dog, quite honestly. When the sun hits certain angles of our house, I'm like, oh my god, it's covered.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

I am curious too about. So have you ever, you're obviously a very successful person as an entrepreneur, right? Thank you. Do you ever go think in your head, do you ever be like, uh, should I go back to a nine to five, or has that never crossed your mind?

Parenting Styles, Schools, And Culture Clashes

SPEAKER_01 26:41

It's never, I mean, now, absolutely not. But when I left, there were moments of not should I, but like I do miss aspects. And I still miss aspects. And I think that that's not talked about enough because I don't think entrepreneurship is for everyone. And I think our generation has kind of glamorized this of like, yeah, work for yourself and you'll never work a day in your life, which could not be more false. Do something you love and yeah, yeah. I miss the team aspect. That was something I really struggled with in the beginning. I just felt so isolated. I was like, oh my God, I'm just by myself and in my own thoughts all day long. So creating a network of people and like surrounding yourself with individuals, I think has been very helpful for me, whether it's my friends who are in this space who I can like lean on as quote unquote coworkers to get advice on something or whatever, to also then like creating my own team. So, you know, I'm in conversation with my manager all day, every day, pretty much. I'm making my first full-time hire in January. So, like having someone exciting. Yeah, thank you. I'm so excited. Um, and I've I've had freelancers before, and I still have a few freelancers alongside her. So, like having people that I can bounce ideas off of and communicate with and feel like it's more of a team because I'm such a team-oriented person. I grew up playing sports, like that's where I thrive. And I really miss that when I quit. And I think the obvious that I really missed and still sometimes miss is the stability. And for me at my job, I checked out. Like I left the desk, I was by seeing tomorrow morning or on Monday. And that is something that I know I could be better at creating, yeah, but I'm not. And the pressure of it is in the end all on me. Like to make money, to do things. There's always more that could be done. And as someone who can become really work-obsessed, it's hard for me to turn that off because I'm like, but I could do this and I could do that. And like if I do this, then maybe I'll get that. So trying to quiet that is difficult. And then I mean, the biggest thing I miss talking about motherhood is like the maternity leave, which I know not everyone is guaranteed, which is absolute bullshit in this country. But at my job, it was something that was offered. So that is something that I definitely miss.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

Yeah, isn't that crazy? I just think about the people who have to like go back to work like the next week. Or you like it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

I think it's like one in four women go back after two weeks or something. Yeah. In the US. Yeah. Is that the sad sort of? Like, I feel like it's something like that. It's something along. It's like it's shocking.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

Yeah. I'm gonna I'm gonna look this up. Yeah, look it up. I believe, but I I just want to look it up for myself because that's I couldn't even, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

I will say that's something pre-pandemic that was really almost glamorized. Like I was I worked in the motherhood space before I had kids, and I remember I was on this team and we were, you know, talking about parenting all day long. And I had so many people that I worked with talking about how they were answering calls in the delivery room and like sending emails between pushes, and then they were like logged on 24 hours after giving birth, and it was like this like a badge of honor thing of like, oh, well, having a baby isn't gonna change anything for me. And I think we had a real kind of moment of reckoning during the pandemic, but it's wild out there.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

Yeah, I actually got I was at a dinner party this past weekend, and this is like one fight I've gotten in with my best friend's husband on this exact topic. And like I was riled up again about it, and we were all talking about it because some of my friends work in an industry where she's like, but I have to like I don't have a choice. And I'm like, but that is wrong. And yeah, I I think it's one of the many things, unfortunately, that our country is on like a third uh, you know, it it's very back.

SPEAKER_02 30:47

Yeah, we're very, very far behind. Your stat was right, by the way. I'm sure you just looked it up too, but that one in four is is correct. It's insane. That's crazy, especially when you think about how many women are having c-sections or traumatics. You can't even walk. Like, and a lot of women have, you know, physical like labor jobs as well. Yep. Um, in warehouses or deliver like mail delivery or whatever. Um yeah. Did you suffer with any? I I know you talk about mental health in general, but did you suffer from any anxiety or intrusive thoughts during pregnancy? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:21

Okay. During my first pregnancy, my first pregnancy was more anxiety inducing. My second pregnancy was more depressive. Okay. And then postpartum-wise, with my first, I had very intense intrusive thoughts. I relate to, I call them kind of these like final destination moments. Oh, if you ever watch those movies, yeah. Where I would like visually see things happening. And it's not that I wanted to do them, but I saw these like horrific things happening to my child. And it's like, when I do that, like, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:51

And then you're like, but I'm not what? What? And then you're like arguing with yourself. Like, do I need to be checked into like a mental institution? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

And I honestly, one thing that was interesting to me that I did not expect is I had them during my second pregnancy around my first child. And I think that had to do with like all of the hormones. But when I was pregnant with my second, they came back with a vengeance around my first child's. And mine, I'm actually working through all this in therapy currently because they still happen. Mine are all around my first child's head, which is very deeply tied to like my own trauma of my accident and my head injury history. So they were very specific. It wasn't like I was ever envisioning him falling and breaking an arm. It was always like something, he was banging his head on something, whether that was me like throwing him over something or him falling or whatever. So, yes, I struggled big time with that. That was something that I was not prepared for, the intrusive thoughts. And another thing, an example of something that like I very openly shared as I was experiencing them online and people being like, oh my God, I've never heard anyone talk about this. Like, what is this? What is going on? I was not prepared. And I think that that is just one of the many examples of why I've always been an open book around my own stuff. And obviously, there are things I keep to myself because it's a public platform and I have boundaries, but I have always felt that when I feel comfortable sharing something, that is when I feel I'm making the largest impact on specifically mothers, whether it be new moms or moms of two or whatever it is, who are going through something similar and helping them feel seen.

Language Rules, Humor, And Kids’ Personalities

SPEAKER_02 33:34

Yeah. That's great. Yeah. I was thinking this morning, I was doing drop off for my son and I was ruminating a little bit. And I was like, you know, it's crazy because we're the first generation having kids with social media really and sharing about these things and imagining how isolating it's been for the generations of women who have come before us who were just like who didn't know that other people were like thinking about their children. Like, I think I've told this story before. I was convinced my son was gonna strangle himself on our blinds, like on the cord when we had just gotten new blinds replaced, like$7,000. And I was like, no, replace them again. And like my husband was like, okay, like we'll we'll do that. But I was like, no, he's definitely gonna strangle himself and die. And like there's just no, you can't talk yourself out of it. And so I just I just think about all the women who came before who had to do like kind of raw dog motherhood. Yeah.

unknown 34:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

And I asked my mom, I'm like, mom, like what? Did you have this? Did you and she's like, I don't remember anything. And I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_00 34:33

They like black it out. I don't remember. Yeah. I like you guys are talking about your intrusive thoughts, and I'm like, I I feel like I had them, but I don't really remember. You're also farther out.

SPEAKER_02 34:44

Maybe I'll forget them. I don't know. I don't think I don't think you also have two. So you were like managing, like maybe your brain didn't even have time for the intrusive thoughts.

SPEAKER_01 34:55

Or if it did, your brain was so busy, it was like, don't remember this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

It's like, yeah. Um I I was at the children's museum the other week and I was watching this mom. She was clearly from the East Coast, and her three kids were playing, and it got they were like playing so well. And I don't know if you all have noticed differences between like regions of children and how they act. And I'm curious what y'all have noticed by region since we're all.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

I feel like I haven't spent enough time with uh kids from other regions, quite honestly. I feel like all of my friends and family are from the same region. Yeah. What did you now? I'm curious. What do you notice the difference?

SPEAKER_00 35:37

I think less with kids, but more with how people parent. So I I had my kids in Chicago, and so it was that very Midwestern kind of approach to parenting. And what we noticed was it was like nobody took their kids to restaurants. It was strictly like you have kids, you go to parks, you go to children's museums, you go to libraries, versus like now I'm in Pittsburgh and kids are always everywhere. Like people take their kids to brunch and dinner, and you know, it's it's just a little bit more integrated, I think, here. And then even like when we visit other friends and family in the Midwest, you just don't really see that.

SPEAKER_02 36:13

Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

That's what I've noticed.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

So I noticed how they dress. Uh East Coasters dress their children better, like in California. I'm like, I do not. My kids wear in sweatsets all day long. Uh yeah. I took my son shopping at Target the other day and he picked out like the best outfit. So I was like, uh, okay, I guess you're a better dresser. Like, I guess you can just do this because like I was putting him in like rainbow unicorn pants, pink shirts. But um, yeah, I've noticed that. I've noticed that they were better behaved and the parents were uh watching them a bit more. Like I feel like in interesting, like, I don't know if it's like a casual California thing, but like free-range parenting out here sometimes happens, or maybe it's just the Bay Area. Um, but it was it was interesting because I was like, if children behaved as well as, you know, some of these kids who I saw, you know, three, two, three, whatever, I think it'd be, yeah.

Two Truths Of Motherhood And The Power Of And

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Anyway. Very interesting. I do feel like, I mean, this is something I'm navigating right now, and my friends and I talk about this a lot. Like, I parent pretty similarly to many of my friends. Not all, but like nothing drastically different. But when you're navigating it with school, it's interesting because they could become really good friends with a kid whose parents parent very differently. And then, like, that parenting style is impacting the child differently. And I'm not saying either one is right or wrong, but then that kid is in is like the kids rub off on each other. So then my kid will do something, and I'm like, absolutely not. That is not allowed in this household. Like, and I that's been interesting for me to navigate now that we're at school age of like, oh, some of us are maybe stricter on certain things and some are more lax. Like I'm very strict on certain things and I'm very lax on certain things. And it's just very interesting to see that dynamic play out.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

Yeah, we're we're in that phase now where the birthday parties have kind of gone from parents staying to more drop-off parties, and that makes me really nervous. So all of them are drop-off? Not all, but like we've actually not let our kids go to a few because it's just somewhere that I'm not comfortable with them going, or just a situation where I don't know the parents and I'm not comfortable dropping them. But like we were at a party a few weeks ago and I stayed, but there were only like two other parents who stayed. It's definitely becoming more of a drop-off situation.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

I don't yeah, in the UK, I have a friend who moved from the Bay Area to the UK and she said, You like are not allowed to stay at any of their birthdays, and they're all drop-off. Um, but they're only like two hours. But sometimes they'll be like, go to the American girl store for six hours and yeah, and it's very uncomfortable. We're we're just to school age now, and I'm trying to navigate like there's some poorly behaved kids, obviously, because there always are, and my kid is poorly behaved often just at home, not at school. But like one of the kids was teaching, taught my son nuts, and my son thinks his ribs are his nuts because he doesn't know what nuts are. And then he's like teaching him about calories, and now all the kids are fighting about calories at school. And I'm like, how do you even navigate this when they're in the same class and you can't like you you can't like take them away from each other? Like, how do you and so we're kind of navigating that situation where it's like, oh God, like we're talking about calories at five years old. That's such a weird thing. Yeah, it's very weird. Like they're checking each other's I'm having to take out his food from the packages because they're checking each other's calories and getting into fights about it. But are they trying to have more or less? They're trying to have more because I asked that. Okay, at least. Yeah, they think having more is better. And I'm like, okay, great. And you know, like reading, okay, there's a hundred calories, but there's what's the fiber? What's like hasn't deterred it, but there was like a fight last week at school because one girl was like, a hundred calories isn't even that much. And my son was like, Yeah, so we told the teacher, and I'm like, 100 calories is not she's right. And he's like, It's so much. And I'm like, oh God, like, how do you even because like some of this stuff, it's like, how do you even correct this? You can't even correct it at home.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

Yeah, it's honestly so interesting to navigate and like specifically around that of like how we speak about others, how we speak to ourselves, like how we speak about certain things. Like there are words that we don't say, and I don't care if someone else says it, like that's not a word you're allowed to say. And like I'm like, that's where I mean I'm very strict on certain things. Like if my kid said, am I allowed to curse on here?

SPEAKER_02 40:44

Yeah.

Romance Reads, ADHD, And Mental Health Tools

SPEAKER_01 40:44

If my kid says shit or fuck and he's honestly using it appropriately, I don't care. If he's in our house, like I'm like, go for it. I curse all the time. Because I'm not cursing in a mean way. I'm not like fuck you. I'm like, oh my god, this is so fucking good. And if he does that, I don't care. I say their mommy words, we only say them in the house. But if he uses a word like, I hate you, like that is not allowed. Yeah, that one. Or even like, you know, his kids his age are so into superheroes and like Spider-Man and all this stuff. And we don't watch any of the shows in our house, but he picks up on all of it. And he was saying, like, Spider-Man shooting his webs. And I was like, let's say spray. Like, we don't need to say shoot. When he was whip. Yeah. He was with me the other day and we were setting up the equipment in my podcast studio, and I was talking to the uh producer who was helping me, and I was like, okay, well, if the cameras are shooting this way, and he's like, You said shoot. And I was like, Oh, he's like, he's a hall monitor. He is on my ass. And I'm like, oh, well, I was saying it, and like then I was trying to explain to him why shoot was okay in that terminology, but not in like the way that I didn't want him to use, which then gets into an even deeper conversation. So it's all confusing to navigate.

unknown 41:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:54

Cameron, I think I saw you post something about Dancing with the Stars. Did you watch this season? Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:00

This is the only season I've ever watched, and I'm addicted.

SPEAKER_00 42:02

My kids are really into it right now. And we just watched Mark and Whitney's freestyle. And you know, did you see at the end how they have the clip where she's like, I fucking love this show? Yeah, yeah. My kids have been running around the house just going, I fucking love this show.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

I fucking love this show. And I'm like, You guys just don't say that at school. Right. I'm always like, uh, you could say that here. Do not say these things at school. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:26

It's like, yeah. And luckily your kids listen to you because my first one was.

SPEAKER_01 42:31

I don't know about my second. He yeah, we'll see.

SPEAKER_02 42:33

Second kid energy for sure.

SPEAKER_01 42:35

I have the epitome of firstborn, secondborn. Like could not get more standard of what you hear or see.

SPEAKER_02 42:46

Yeah. Like going down the slide head first at like six months.

SPEAKER_01 42:49

Like my first is like a I mean, he's honestly it's been very fascinating to watch him evolve with observing our secondborn's energy because like they've kind of they're starting to blend a bit and like pick up on each other's tendencies. Um, but our first historically was like rule follower, literal, will do anything I say, will sit by my side for five hours playing with his figurines. Like he still will. If I give him cars or like his like figurines, he'll play on his own for hours. And our second is the biggest bruiser in the world. Like just never not moving, just wild child.

SPEAKER_03 43:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

The mine's a combo of those. Mine will not sit still and do anything. And he's yeah, kids are so funny. Um, I know we don't have a lot of time, and I I am part of this because I was so late. I'm so sorry. Uh like I said, I'm I'm having a hard time managing life and the holidays and everything. Um insane. Yeah. It's a lot. We we went on a Christmas. Yeah. We went on a Christmas train last night with a couple kids from school. And my son, I didn't realize they weren't gonna have food on it because of course. And so they only had junk food. My son had Cheetos, hot chocolate, and some trail mix and vomited as soon as we got off. And so, you know, puked all uh luckily he asked us to pull over the car because we got in the car and within a minute he's like, pull over, and you know, we have to sit there and throw up and we're dealing with that all night. But um I uh I would love to know. We like to wrap up with two questions at the end, and I have so much more I want to ask. You because I feel like you could give so much advice to people not only in motherhood but like entrepreneurs in motherhood because that is a separate yeah that's a separate beast. But what do you wish somebody would have told you about motherhood before you got into it?

SPEAKER_01 44:42

I think the biggest thing for me that helped when I came to terms with it was the acceptance of two conflicting emotions can coexist at once. And I I can't comprehend, like I think as a country we really struggle, or more so just people on the internet really struggle with realizing that. Like I can love my kids so much and want to break. Like I can be so excited to put them down for bedtime so I can have time for myself and miss them once they're asleep. Like and look at their pictures the whole time. It's a sick and twisted and toxic relationship. But once I accepted that of like, oh, it doesn't make me a bad mom or shouldn't feel guilty for like wanting a second by myself or wanting something for myself. It's just the reality that like two things can be true. And I think it's the same thing with my I I think about it now with my career. I think about it with everything, quite honestly. Like the acceptance of those two emotions, even if they're conflicting, they can coexist at once. And I think that that really helped me come to terms with a lot of my feelings once I believed that.

SPEAKER_02 45:55

That's yeah, I think that's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

That's really good.

SPEAKER_02 45:58

Yeah, that's a really good one. I'm thinking about all the different places that applies to, even beyond motherhood. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:03

And I also think the power of and instead of saying but, yeah. So I I I assume I said it when I just said it, but like I love my kids and I need time for myself. Not but I need time for myself. It's the power of and like those two things can just coexist.

SPEAKER_00 46:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:20

Like you're excited. I have a little bit of a wild card question for you. I saw that you uh posted about all these kind of like spicy books that a lot of moms are reading and how good that is. What are some of your favorites?

Where To Find Cameron And Her Work

SPEAKER_01 46:32

Okay, it depends on like what type of trope line you want. If you are going like fantasy, like if you can accept these characters having like wings or being like dragons, which like amazing. I would go, I want to say A Court of Thorn and Roses by Sarah J. Mass, but the first book is not like romanticy, really. It's like it's building block, and then it gets into it. A Court of Mists and Fury, I think, is the second one, and it's like hands down one of my favorite books ever. Or you could start with Fourth Wing. I forget the author's name, but like that series is like kind of similar and it's fantasy romance. Sarah J. Mass is amazing. She has a three series, I think, that are all great. If you want to go athlete trope line, which I also love, my top recommendation would be the Windy City series. I have to look at who that is written by. I my Kindle these.

SPEAKER_00 47:32

What? Have you read any of these? I haven't read any of these. I'm excited to check them out.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

Oh, I have. So, like, because I read them on my Kindle, I really am bad about remembering titles and authors' names because I'm not like seeing it every time I look at the book. But I read every day without fail for 30 minutes before I go to bed. And romance novels have been such an unlock for me in motherhood because again, we talk about like having something outside of our children. Like this is my fantasy world that I escape to before I fall asleep. It's like the way that I just completely shut my brain off. I have ADHD, so it's very hard for me to concentrate on anything. But when I'm reading, I'm fully immersed and I'm not thinking about other things.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:14

And specifically, I talk about this on my platform, but like the romance aspect of it, I think helps so much with your libido and like sex drive, especially as a mom to young kids when you're just like exhausted and have no interest. So I do have a highlight on my Instagram called books, and it's like all of my recommendations with reviews.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

We're gonna have to go through those are because Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

I just wrote a really good one. It was um, It's Different This Time by I forget the author's name. Let me look. But it was it was really cute. Light, easy read.

SPEAKER_02 48:48

You guys, I listen to so much of this shit on my Audible all day as I'm like working, doing everything. And I just like my husband will come down and I often don't have headphones on, and I like stop it. He's like, What are you listening to? Oh, yes. This is not for you, sir.

SPEAKER_01 49:02

Get away. Yeah. I have my husband read some of them, and he will read some, and then there's some where he's like, Cam, I I cannot do this. Like this is this is just crossed a line where I don't think I can read this.

SPEAKER_02 49:15

I'm like, okay. We didn't even get into ADHD and motherhood. I have a lot of symptoms of ADHD. Might have it. Stimulants are really bad on me though. Like I my anxiety goes crazy. But like I imagine that played a lot into your postpartum and your pregnancy and all of that. Like the and the rumination, because ADHD and you know, all OCD and all these things are in the same, I don't know, not spectrum, but they're in the same category. Yeah. Um, and how overwhelming it is to have a child, let's say for anyone who ha like if you don't have ADHD, but then if you do have it, like how overwhelming the sensory is always being touched, the fucking white noise machines and the lights and the and the cries and the everything. So I imagine that was that was pretty hard. Do you take it? This might be too personal to do.

SPEAKER_01 50:04

I'm on it, no, I share. I'm actually on a non-stimulant called Stratera. I've heard of this one. Okay. So I'm on Stratera and Certraline, which is like generic zone.

SPEAKER_02 50:15

I'm on Certraline as well. Like I just went up in my dose. Yeah. And what's so weird, this TMI, but like my sex drive started coming back when I went really higher in my dose, which is weird. Yeah, I don't know. I'm like, oh, maybe my anxiety was like killing my libido, and it wasn't just the medication. But okay, so you're on that. Yeah. I'm supposed to go get a diagnosis at some point, but uh you, you know, you have to make an appointment, and that's that's a whole nother thing.

SPEAKER_01 50:40

Yeah. I was diagnosed at a young age, so I've had a diagnosis for a very long time. And I was able to navigate it successfully, quite honestly, when I was young. And then when I had my second, it completely like it threw me just off the ledge. Yeah. So that was when I went back and got like a newer diagnosis and went on medication. Is that diagnosis hard to get? Yeah. For me. Because it's the same prescriber as my searchaline, and she's been telling me for years. She's like, yep, you clearly have ADHD. Yep, you clearly have ADHD. So it was like two seconds for us.

SPEAKER_02 51:17

I also think like searchaline, like Zolof, for anyone listening who is not on these things, um, it can really like cause those things. Like I'm so forgetful on it. When I'm not on it, I'm like so much sharper. But when I'm on it, and my husband's like, I would much rather you be forgetful and nice than like irritable and like on top of everything. And honestly, I would too. Yeah. Um, but I feel like there's it's like all these medications going together. But um, we have taken up so much of your time, and I'm so grateful that you were able to come on. Where can people find you? And we'll link it in the show notes as well. But yeah. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 51:53

Um, on Instagram and TikTok, which are like my main platforms, it's Cameron Oaks Rogers. There's no D in Rogers. Um, and then my podcast is Conversations with Cam. You can find new episodes anywhere you listen to your shows Wednesday morning and Quiet Your Mind and Busy Your Hands, which I know we talked a lot about mental health and ADHD. Like that's literally why I created this product. It's a journal on adult coloring affirmation, and then we have the kids version as well. That's on quiet-your-mind dot com. And then, sorry, there's so many things. The last one I'll say is also my substack is camera notes rogers.substack.com. And that talks a lot every other week. I do like a deep dive piece onto motherhood of like something that I feel pulled to write in longer form on.

SPEAKER_02 52:41

That's awesome. And I imagine this is all linked on your profile. So we'll it's all there. Thank you so much for being here and sharing. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 52:50

Thank you.