Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
Encouragement and Inspiration for women choosing to rise above the “just survive” mentality and instead set their mind on thriving in all that they say and do. The ultimate goal is to equip you to pursue whatever is excellent in the midst of your ordinary life and in all that you say and do.
Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
08: Turning Failure into a Teachable Moment
What happens when a captivating book pulls you away from your responsibilities, turning a simple Monday into a whirlwind of stress?
This episode opens with a personal tale of how neglecting my duties led to chaos at home, impacting my family dynamics and, most importantly, my nine-year-old daughter. Through this relatable experience, we explore the critical role parents play in shaping the emotional atmosphere of the household. By examining the fallout of my oversight, we underscore the necessity of a flexible system and the importance of learning from our mishaps. Discover the delicate balance between taking personal time and maintaining a harmonious family environment, and learn how even the smallest actions can have ripple effects on those around us.
Join me as we transform failures into stepping stones for growth and resilience, both for ourselves and our children. Through personal reflection and biblical inspiration from Isaiah and Colossians, we emphasize the virtues of peace, compassion, and love within the family unit. This journey illustrates how ordinary challenges can become powerful lessons in grace and faith, encouraging us to set a positive tone in our homes. By confronting our missteps with honesty and openness, we pave the way for stronger family bonds and a more peace-filled household. Tune in to learn how a mindful approach to family life can lead to profound personal and relational growth.
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It was one of those days you know the ones I'm talking about and it was a Monday, and for us, mondays are the busiest day of our week, and this one wasn't going well at all, and the worst part about that was that it was 100% my fault. You see, I was in the middle of this really, really good book, and not one of my usual nonfiction books that I read every morning. No, this was a just for fun, purely for pleasure book, and I didn't want to put it down. I know that's relatable to someone I was struggling with being accountable for my choices and I kept justifying my actions with things that made sense in the moment. Like you totally deserve this time to just relax and read. You always work so hard, you need a break every once in a while, and none of those statements are necessarily wrong. You are absolutely allowed to take breaks and rest and have a minimal Monday. I saw that term used on Instagram the other day and I thought that was kind of clever. However, if you choose to rest, you don't get to be frustrated with everyone later because they all need you and you still have laundry to fold and dinner to make and lunches to pack and all the things that you didn't do earlier. You can't have both, and this is what happened to me. I chose to read, which was fine, but then I chose to scramble, to cram everything that needed to be done into the one hour that we had between school and the afterschool activities. I don't think I need to tell you how that went.
Leanne:When I realized that we were just not going to make it to jujitsu on time, I asked my nine-year-old to help me kind of in this panic, and bless her soul. She jumped right up to help. I quickly gave her some frantic directions and continued to scurry around doing all of the things that I felt needed to be done before we left. That is until the water bottles started leaking because she couldn't quite get the lids on tight enough, and then the water soaked the bag. And then she tried to clean up the mess and drip the water all down the cupboards and then she started crying hysterically as my twin boys started fighting over who was going to get the water soaked snacks. It was in this moment that I knew the truth. We were in this mess not because my sweet girl spilled some water. We were here because I failed to set the right tone for our afternoon. I let my stressed, frantic energy dominate our day. I failed to order my day wisely and reasonably, and so, with a deep breath and a quick prayer, I cleaned up the mess and I started taking some mental notes.
Leanne:As a woman of excellence, you set the tone for your family, and I don't say this to cause you to feel pressure, to cause you to feel pressure. It's just simply what's true. You play a key role in establishing the emotional climate for your family, for your household. When you are stressed or anxious, this tends to trickle down to your children as well. The same is true if you are calm and patient is true. If you are calm and patient, your children and even your husband tend to follow your lead. You also tend to take the lead on instilling family values and traditions and teaching life lessons along the way. You are the keeper of the calendar, the director of logistics and the chauffeur for all those afterschool activities. Basically, you're kind of a big deal in your home, and most everything in your home revolves around something in which you play a major role, and so it's not surprising that you also play a major role in how your family reacts and interacts with everything going on in the home.
Leanne:Again, I'm not saying this to you so that you feel anxious. I want to bring this to your attention because it means you can't afford not to have a plan of some sort. All great generals, coaches, leaders have some sort of a plan or a playbook or a policy that they refer to when considering their next steps. So having some sort of a plan or a system that serves as a guide is helpful for feeling more prepared, which leads to more feelings of calm and peace. First, corinthians 14, 33 says this for God is not a God of confusion, but of peace. When you have a plan, there is less confusion. To be clear, this is a flexible plan. You can't prepare or plan for all the things, but you can have a pretty good idea of what will be most helpful for you and your family.
Leanne:For example, I learned that reading my book on Mondays instead of prepping for some of the afternoon chaos was not going to serve us well. So I adjusted my plan for Mondays to include more time for prepping before my kids got home from school, so I could be more present for them and not running around like my hair was on fire. But even more important than making a plan and adjusting as needed is learning the lesson that failures inform your successes. It was in the failure of that dreadful Monday afternoon that I learned how to be more disciplined and prepared. It's like when you hear about someone who seemingly overnight becomes a huge success, like all of a sudden she's wrote a book or earned a promotion. It seems like all of the sudden she's just crushing it. But what if she is winning now because she used her many failures to inform her success today? What if she is successful now? What if she is successful now because she simply failed more? And what if I told you that this was the lesson I chose to emphasize with my children that fateful Monday afternoon, specifically with my daughter.
Leanne:Once I found my sobbing child, I told her simply that mommy failed. Her teary eyes told me that this was not what she was expecting to hear from me and so, with her full attention, I continued. I failed today because I didn't properly plan for our afternoon. I let my own desires and agenda get in the way of what needed to be prioritized today. And because of that, because of that failure, I was stressed and anxious, and now we're late because of it.
Leanne:But I want you to know that I'm learning a lesson in the middle of this too, and even though I failed this time, I have a much better idea of what I need to do next time, so that I can perhaps not fail again. I don't know for sure if my new plan will work, but I do know that I'm not going to let this failure bring me down. I am going to keep moving forward and keep trying until I find what works best for our whole family. You and I are going to fail a lot, maybe even every day, and that's okay, because it is what we do with this failure that makes a difference, and when we choose to trust God to stand in the gap for us, we can have peace. The Bible says in Isaiah 26, 3,. You keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is on you, because he trusts in you. So I'm going to keep my eyes on Jesus and learn from this failure. Would you like to join me?
Leanne:It is probably not surprising to know that she received this really well, especially after I apologized for letting my stress and anxiety get the best of me. In his goodness, god redeemed this day by allowing me to use my failures as a teachable moment for me and for my daughter. And the best part of this whole story is that we've experienced a couple more Monday afternoons since that day and by the grace of God they have all been peace filled days. But my favorite part is when my daughter noticed and said mom, I'm really glad that you failed that other day, because now Mondays are the most calm day. Thank you for showing me that failures can actually be a good thing. So, friend, you do set the tone for your family and you were probably going to fail at that at some point. Be encouraged to know that's not the end of the story.
Leanne:I want to leave you with this little section of scripture as kind of a summary. Colossians 3, 12 through 15 says this Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you. And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts and be thankful. You are a woman who takes failure in stride and chooses to learn the lesson in the midst of the mess. You are a woman who embraces the opportunity to set the tone for her family with love and grace. You are a woman who shows up with excellence even in the most ordinary of moments. And just so you know, we are all on this journey of making the most of the mess together.