Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle

19: Empowering Mothers for a New Era with Anne Berry

• Leanne • Season 2 • Episode 19

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Discover the transformative power of embracing life's transitions with insights from Anne, an inspiring coach dedicated to guiding women through the empty nest phase. Imagine experiencing the joy of watching your children thrive independently while rediscovering your own passions and identity. Anne shares her personal journey, from a fulfilling 34-year marriage to raising successful adult sons, and the importance of respect and listening in nurturing relationships with grown children. In our conversation, you'll learn practical strategies for maintaining personal interests and social connections, preventing feelings of isolation, and preparing emotionally for this new chapter of motherhood.

Anne offers guidance on shifting from a traditional parental role to a supportive friendship, empowering mothers to embrace the changes ahead with grace and purpose. She highlights the importance of self-care and preparation for life beyond child-rearing, encouraging women to find joy and fulfillment in their own lives. Through her coaching programs and free resources, Anne provides the tools and support needed to navigate this significant life transition. Tune in and empower yourself with Anne's valuable insights, ensuring that life remains beautiful and fulfilling even as your children grow and embark on their own journeys.

You can find Anne on IG @annemberry or on Facebook at Anne Simmons Berry. Or check out her website and FREE resources here!

Connect with me!
You can find me on Instagram @mrs.leannetuggle or you can email me at leanne.tuggle@gmail.com. I love hearing from you!

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Leanne:

Hi Anne. It is so fun to have you here on Whatever's Excellent today. I am so thankful for you and just for the work that you are doing. I'm excited to kind of talk about a little bit more as we go through with this conversation, but one of the things that you and I were talking about you are someone who helps coach women who are coming up on having an empty nest and like showing up with excellence as an empty nester and what that looks like. And one of the things I was thinking about as we just clicked over into 2025 is how, when I'm to that point where I have a child who's going to be graduating, seeing the numbers click to their graduation year is going to be. It's going to be a moment, I think. So I'm really excited to hear from you today, and I'd love if you can just start by telling us a little bit about who you are and how you got to doing what you're doing today.

Anne:

Awesome. Well, thank you, leanne, and I'm just so excited for everything you have going on, and when you reached out to me, I was very touched, so I appreciate you having me here. But just a real quick background. I have been married to my husband for 34 years and we have two adult sons, who are now 30 and 27. And besides being a wife and a mom, I've spent over 20 years in human resources, helping people grow and succeed in their careers, and I love it.

Anne:

But as my own kids grew up and left home, I found myself facing a new chapter as an empty nester, and it was a big adjustment, both emotionally and practically, and I began to realize how many moms struggle with this transition, feeling like they've lost their purpose and identity, and that's when I decided to combine my professional skills and my personal experience and focus on coaching empty nester moms, and I wanted to help moms navigate the season, but, more than that, thrive in it. You know, we can have good 20, 30 years left, god willing, and we can make the most of it that way. So to do that, though, we need to rediscover our passions, and so that we can step into the next step with confidence and purpose. So purpose is a big word that I use a lot in the coaching that I do. But I know you talk about Proverbs 31. That describes a woman of excellence as someone who is industrious and kind and purposeful, and that is something we can do in our empty nest as well.

Leanne:

I love that. Okay, so you said that your sons are 30 and 27 right now. That is so fun. I love that. What do you feel has been the most fulfilling moment as a mom of grown children? I'm thinking about the moms who are going to be entering into that season of being an empty nest. What kind of like encouragement do you have, like in sense of like, how has it been fulfilling as a mom with adult children?

Anne:

sure, sure I. The first thing I have to say is they're just good people, you know. They are rooted in their values, they are hard working, they are focused and it's just been amazing to watch them step into this independence and make their own decisions. They're successfully adulting, we like to say, and it is so fun to hang out with your adult kids, and that's something we look forward to and cherish when we have the time. Currently, we're living in different states, so having that chance to hang out is amazing. But it is also very heartwarming when they call you to talk through ideas or share some decisions that they're thinking about making or they have made, and they call you to talk that through, and that is just an amazing feeling. They are not necessarily asking for input or answers, which is something we as parents need to learn in our new role here. They're adults and they want to be treated like adults. So, as we strive to be women of excellence, showing them respect and listening to what they share builds that relationship and with us in this new phase.

Leanne:

Well, I love that. That's so cool. I feel like I have so many other questions I could ask, like, what did you do to make sure that they were successful? Like I need to take all the notes, but I love that I hear you saying that it's just.

Leanne:

There's this joy of just being with your children as they are adults now and growing up, and just being able to embrace who they are, who they're becoming, without trying to correct it, like that season has passed and now it's just embracing who they are, um, and I just really love that. I think that's just really beautiful and it's a testament to your like humility of like I did my job and now it's enjoying them. I think that's really sweet. So what you have mentioned that you are a coach for women who are entering the season of empty nesting and all that kind of thing. When you are talking to those women, or maybe just in your own life, are there any sort of like routines or habits I mean, here we are at the beginning of the year that have contributed to your success as an empty nester, like, are there things that you have done that you feel like have helped you with this transition?

Anne:

Oh, that makes me think of a few things. Oh good, journaling is a big one, okay. It really helps me process my thoughts and stay intentional about my goals, and I love a new journal, so the new year is a great time for me. Yeah, and I actually have a free resource on my website called five journal prompts to create momentum and empty nesting, if that may be helpful to someone listening.

Leanne:

Yeah, absolutely.

Anne:

And I also go out for walks, not only for the healthy side, but that's really part of my quiet time and just to think and pray. Just any time I can, I try and get my walk in. Another thing would be to remember, as I just mentioned, your kids are independent or getting there and making their own decisions. So parenting changes to become more of a friend, and that can be hard at first, but imagine being able to take a step back from parenting and enjoying the encouraging and cheering them on. It is, it's really the best, it really it really is.

Anne:

And then, lastly, I would say, stay connected with friends, and being part of community has been essential too, because, think about it, previously that was automatic through your kids' schedules, whether it was school activities, sports, youth group. And now your schedule is empty or pretty empty, and that is easy to feel isolated at home when it's so quiet. So it's really important to prioritize meaningful relationships, and this is where figuring out what's next for you helps you find more community. You know, do you have a hobby that you haven't had time for? Have you wanted to learn something new, like painting or learning a new language? Or maybe it's volunteering somewhere? Now that you have extra time?

Leanne:

So just a few ideas. Okay, oh, I love that. That's so good. Okay, so tell me a little bit about the coaching that you have done or are doing with women who are coming into the season of empty nesting or are already there. What kind of inspired you to start that? And, like, tell me, tell me more about it.

Anne:

Okay, sure, sure, it's really a mix of personal experience and professional passion. I love helping people grow and develop. In my corporate role, coaching someone to grow and promote to a higher position was my focus. But then, as my kids left home, I saw how easy it was to feel stuck Like my best days are behind me, and I've heard this from so many moms. But as I've worked through this myself, I realized this can be an exciting season of rediscovery. You know, I wanted to help other moms see the same potential in their lives, so I combined my HR background and my love for mentoring and coaching empty nesters felt like the perfect fit.

Leanne:

I love that, that's really good fit. I love that. That's really, really. What is a piece of advice that you wished you would have received before entering into a season of being an empty nester?

Anne:

That's a great question, and I think about this often as I see moms of middle school and high schoolers and I wish someone had told me to start preparing earlier, not just emotionally because because you know it's going to be hard just seeing your kids grow up and leave but practically. You know it's so important to have your own interests, goals lined up before your kids leave. And as we continue to strive for excellence, this planning is helpful too. And one thing it's hard for many moms to hear is it's not selfish to focus on you. Okay, that's something that I've heard from several moms Like I couldn't do that. You know it's not about me and in this time it's essential for your well-being. You know, knowing you are outside of being mom makes the transition so much smoother. So, as moms, we need to embrace the season as a chance to invest in ourselves, as well as our marriage and our community relationships.

Leanne:

Right, right, I hear that piece that you're talking about, about that identity piece of it which I think is so interesting and something that I mean my kids are elementary age and it's something that I see, in the season that I'm in, is very much your identity is in the fact that you're a mom, and so what I hear you saying is, as they get into that middle school and high school, it's kind of separating yourself from the identity of mom and finding out who you are apart from being a mom. Does that make sense? Is that like, yes, exactly what you're saying. Okay, I think that's just really interesting and like, as I think through that too, I'm like, yeah, I have, I have some work to do there, because I love my role as a mom I think most of us do but it is like, oh, yeah, someday that role is going to look different. I mean, you're always a mom.

Leanne:

Even with 30 and 27 year old kids, you're still a mom, but it's just different. Um, so I like that like preparing now for what is inevitably coming and what you want to happen. We want them to grow up and be successful, so that's, that's really good. Um, I'm curious what you would say kind of in the same vein of talking about advice you would give for that mom who is looking at 2025 and is like, wow, my kid is graduating this year. What advice would you give to her right now, in preparation for what's coming this late spring, early summer?

Anne:

Sure, yes. So first of all, to those moms, you are feeling all of the emotions and probably have been since the first last. So that's the last back to school shopping, the last first day of school, the last game as a senior, the last homecoming. So hugs to those moms who are in that season right now. My advice is to start thinking about what your life will look like when they leave. You know. Give yourself permission to explore your interests and passions now, even in small ways. You know what have you put on the back burner that you used to love to do before you had kids? And then, at the same time, begin loosening the reins a bit and allow your child to make more, take on more responsibility and make their own decisions. And this, this is twofold. This helps you prepare, helps prepare them for the independence, but you prepare for your new role as sort of the guide and mentor to them, helps you take that step back a little early.

Leanne:

Yeah, oh, wow, yeah, that's really good. So how, how early is too early to start? My daughter's almost 10. I feel like I need to start now. Um, I was just thinking about, like her graduation year is 2033 and I was like, well, yeah, that's going to be, it's going to be here so fast, so I'm worried.

Anne:

It's really crazy. They say it flies, and it really does.

Leanne:

Yeah, I know I think I've heard that as soon as it hit middle school and high school, it just was like so fast, so I'm preparing for, for these things, do you have any tools or resources? I know you mentioned one about journal prompts. Do you have anything that you would recommend for people who are looking or interested in learning more about this, like next season, um, moving into their role as, like mom in the current sense, to moving into more of a guide? Do you have, like resources or tools that you would recommend for that?

Anne:

Yeah, you know it really is important to to track that down. The general prompts, yeah, are definitely a place to start just to sort of reflect and figure out what. You know where you are, because everybody's different. Some people are going to struggle with the emotional side of your child leaving early or leaving, and a lot more than some people. Everybody's gonna be a little bit sad, but some people really get stuck there. So other people are ready to take on a new task or, you know, have something that they've wanted to do that just haven't had time. So this journaling really will help you think through where are you. So you know what you need to address first and everybody's different. It's fine that you know you may be stuck somewhere. Somebody else is moving on that. We're all different that way. That's fine. So I definitely encourage people to do that.

Anne:

On my, on my social media, I post a lot about educating and encouraging and things like that. I post a lot about educating and encouraging and things like that. So I welcome people to follow me for that encouragement. You know things to think about or five ways to do this or how to speak to your adult children, and I've gotten a lot of good feedback from people that it's been helpful. I had a mom getting ready to move her child from one apartment to another and she was driving up the road. Her husband was driving, so she was looking at her social media and she's like I just screenshotted all of this.

Anne:

So I remember to use it once with my child and it's just like you know, tell them what to do, ask them questions, and it was so funny. She's like I'm going to use this, I'm going to save this. So I'm happy to help that way. And one other thing is really connecting with community. You know you have other moms in this situation. Connect, have the discussions, just knowing you're not the only one going through this, knowing you might be sad every morning, thinking about two years from now or next spring or things like that. You know having those conversations with people really help you understand you're not doing it alone.

Leanne:

Yeah, Okay, that's really great. So if there were listeners here that would um be interested in connecting with you, what would be the best way for them to do that?

Anne:

I am on Instagram at Ann M Berry and I'm on Facebook at Ann Simmons Berry and I also have a website it is annberrymycanvasite, and they can look at other. There's other freebies out there, other resources they can look at. If you want to go into, a pivot is one of the options, just other ways. If they're interested in working with me, they can look there. But there there are definitely free resources for you.

Leanne:

Okay, great. So, and that would be like in your, with your coaching program, the coaching Okay, so they can do that. I am so excited that you are doing this work and being able to help. Kind of I see you as like a like a shepherd, helping other women navigate this new territory and showing them that life with your children grown up is still so beautiful and fulfilling and purposeful, as you've been saying, and so I just really appreciate that you are here and doing this work and helping, helping us all as we navigate this new season of what motherhood will look like.

Anne:

I think I just want to thank you for bringing attention to moms with kids that aren't leaving the nest just yet, giving that attention to starting to take care of themselves. Think about what the next steps are, and they will be so much more prepared for when the day comes. It doesn't make it easier, because it's sad when they leave, or you drop them off at college or they move on. It's always sad. But if you are even just a little bit more prepared than they are right now, it's going to make that transition so much better.

Leanne:

Oh, I love that. That's so great. Well, and thank you so much for this wisdom and just for everything that you have shared. I know it's going to encourage and bless other women out there, so thank you so much for all that you're doing. Thank you.