Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle

21: Navigating Love & Faith with Chris Tuggle

• Leanne • Season 2 • Episode 21

Share episode

What happens when a Navy meteorologist navigates the storms and calms of marriage? 

Join us for an intimate conversation with my husband, Chris Tuggle, as we share our journey from a blind date at a San Francisco Giants game to a 12-year marriage built on love, laughter, and faith. Chris recalls how he never needed his backup list of conversation topics that day, setting the stage for a relationship characterized by genuine connection and shared values.

In our discussion, we unpack the challenges and rewards of prioritizing love amidst life's demands through a Christian lens. Chris and I explore how understanding and speaking each other's love languages have kept our partnership strong and resilient. By trusting in Jesus and grounding our marriage in faith, we’ve learned to navigate inevitable disappointments and avoid unrealistic expectations, ensuring our relationship thrives even in the toughest times.

As we reflect on our marriage's evolution, we emphasize the crucial roles of communication and spiritual alignment. Transitioning from reliance on parents to forming an independent family unit has tested us, but open dialogue and shared goals have been our anchors. By aligning our paths and keeping Christ at the center, we continue to support and uplift each other, hoping to inspire listeners with insights and encouragement for their own marriages.

Connect with me!
You can find me on Instagram @mrs.leannetuggle or you can email me at leanne.tuggle@gmail.com. I love hearing from you!

Would you like more weekly encouragement? Subscribe to my newsletter Whatever is Lovely and be inspired to open your inbox again.
https://leannetuggle.myflodesk.com/v3r2zwdaik

If this is your first time here and this episode resonated, hit “subscribe” and submit a 5-star rating if you feel genuinely inspired to. Your positive feedback means the world to me!

Episode Sponsors:
Rodan + Fields - Take this brief quiz to find your customized skincare routine!

Red Aspen - Skip the salon appointment and shop here for hands that are hardworking AND elegant.

Whatever is Lovely - Subscribe here to the weekly newsletter designed to encourage you with words of wisdom and relatable content. Be inspired to open your inbox again.

Leanne:

As a podcast host, I love receiving feedback from you, my listeners, especially when it is regarding topics that you would love to hear more about. One of the topics that has come up recently is about marriage. You want to know or hear more about marriage and, to be honest with you, that's a really big topic. You could go in a lot of different directions with that, but, as I thought about it, I thought it could be fun to invite my husband onto the podcast, to interview him and ask him some questions about our marriage, just to hear a different perspective, a different point of view, and I think that you are going to find this interview to be both entertaining and enlightening. It's interesting to get the perspective of the husband and to hear how he sees things and how he views marriage in general. So get excited for this interview, and I hope that it encourages you like it encouraged me.

Leanne:

Friends, today I have a special treat for you. I am here with my husband, chris Tuggle, and we are going to be talking about all things marriage today. So, honey, welcome to the podcast today. Can you start by just sharing a little bit about who you are? Well, sure?

Chris:

Thank you for inviting me on your podcast. It's a little bit of an honor for me to be speaking with anyone who's listening on this particular subject. I am an active duty Navy meteorologist and oceanographer. I've been doing that for about 20 years. I'm an avid outdoorsman who loves to brew beer and wrestle with his kids.

Leanne:

All right, that's all very fun and sounds correct, so good job. Okay, so we're talking about marriage today, and so my first question for you is how did you and I meet, and what was your first impression of me, your wife?

Chris:

That's an interesting question because, well, there was supposed to be a first time that we were going to meet, but I think you stood me up that time. I did, but the next time that we actually did meet, I actually didn't know what to expect originally because I didn't know who you were, because it was a blind date. So that was the interesting part of how we met, and, as I admired who I thought you were from afar, I saw someone full of life, full of youth and full of fun, and I was really excited and interested to get to know you. And so, yeah, when we finally got to meet and actually speak together at a San Francisco Giants baseball game uh, the next uh two and a half three hours, whatever a baseball game is uh, I listened to you talk, um, and uh, tell me all about the things that, uh, you know you had on your mind, and I really enjoyed that time, obviously because we went on a second date the very next day.

Leanne:

That's true. I guess I liked talking to you about all of the things and I remember you later on telling me that you had a list of topics in your mind, just in case our conversation ever stalled out. Did you ever need that list?

Chris:

Absolutely not. From the second we sat down to the moment I said goodbye, that night there was not a dull moment or a period of time with silence, so you definitely filled every bit of the time and, uh, really made it really easy for me because I didn't have to think of any questions or topics to talk about.

Leanne:

An introvert's dream. Um, so, what was, or can you think of, the most memorable thing that I have ever said to you?

Chris:

There's a lot of things that come to mind, some funny ones, but I'd say I'd have to say probably the most memorable thing that you know really sticks out to me and I've actually talked to several of my Christian friends, those guys in the life groups that we've shared life with, about the time I think we were on a trip up to maybe Yosemite or something like that on a camping trip, and I remember we were on a road trip and we were talking about all the things because, once again, you like to talk about all the things and I do remember this one conversation we had and it was about trust and who you can rely on, and disappointment, and the statement you made to me is that you know I can never fully you know trust and rely on you because you will disappoint me at some point in time. And of course, you followed it up you know with. You know the why. Right, because you know I'm a sinful person, you're a sinful person and God Jesus is the only one that you can fully trust in because he will never disappoint you. But when you said that, I never had anyone say anything like that to me before and it really challenged not only my view of relationships, my view of myself and certainly humbled me a little bit from, you know, the masculine, the male side of me, who looks at someone you know, who is brought up and taught and thought about as someone that provides, protects, you know, and is the rock that everyone can lean on.

Chris:

And the fact that you told me that I would disappoint you and you would have to live with that and I would have to live with that and I would have to live with that. It was pretty tough and I remember there was a little bit of silence as I kind of processed that. But as I thought about it, I understood where you were coming from and it made me realize the importance of being aligned, first and foremost with Jesus and that relationship was the most important thing and by focusing on that first and foremost, it could make our relationship, our latter relationship, that much more stronger, purposeful and we wouldn't put unrealistic expectations on each other, which I think is the most important part of a relationship at any point, whether you're just starting out or certainly, uh, as you're maturing along in your marriage.

Leanne:

Yep, I do remember that conversation and, um, I know that we were driving in the car, but the the profile, your profile, definitely had a lot to say as you processed that information, as you processed that information. So, in your opinion, what does loving your wife mean to you, and how has your understanding of love evolved over?

Chris:

the years. Here we are. We've been married for about 12 and a half years. So what would you say? Loving your wife looks like. Looks like. Well, I would say, you know, like you said, it's evolved over.

Chris:

You know, over time, and even in the beginning of our you know marriage, throughout our dating period and engagement, you know, I had a little bit more of a superficial and immature view on how to love my wife, how to love someone other than myself, and a lot of that kind of went into more of the worldly view of things like buying things, treating nice things, you know, feeling like you have to spend or sacrifice unnecessarily to show some sort of love, and what it really boiled down to is kind of understanding how you were loved, the things that mattered most to you, and many of the times you know some of those things that you know your love.

Chris:

Languages are not exactly the same as mine, so it's challenging sometimes for me to find ways to love you how you want to love, but I think, at the end of the day, that's what it's all about is the sacrifice of yourself to give to your spouse, to help them feel loved in the way that they do, and then, of course, most importantly, realizing that if I don't love Jesus first and if I'm not grounded in that truth and I'm not grounded in that relationship first, in that truth and I'm not grounded in that relationship first, I'm going to continue to get pulled by the world, and even get pulled by you, who has your own sinful natures and sinful desires and things that I may get tempted to leverage or utilize as a way to love you, when in reality, loving Jesus first is, first and foremost, the best way to actually show you love.

Leanne:

Well, I really don't have anything to add to that, because I think that that really does summarize it perfectly that by loving Jesus first, you are a more effective lover of your spouse, and I think that that is true, a really important truth to keep in mind throughout the course of your entire relationship. Anytime you feel tension within your marriage, it might be an indicator that you need to first focus back on the Lord and then be able to repair any damage that may have happened in your marriage or with your spouse. So, in a more specific sense, in what ways do you show love to me and how do I show love to you?

Chris:

Well, as I mentioned before, getting to know your love languages, which are quality time and words of affirmation. I try my best to do that. I try to encourage you, certainly in the business ventures that you have. I encourage you in your podcasts, I encourage you in your health journey and, of course, just the making time together whether it's a date day, like we actually just did today Just carving out some time that's just between husband and wife, us two and making that a priority. There's a lot of things in my life right now, with work, that pull me away for long hours and, of course, our kids are very young and need my attention too, and so being intentional about that and making a conscious effort to both encourage, support and also just be there whenever you need me.

Leanne:

And then, how do you think that I show you love? What are your love languages?

Chris:

I'm a physical touch type of guy I'd say. That's first and foremost. I love quality time as well quality time as well, but certainly physical touch. And so you know my being an introvert and my job as the executive officer in my current position. I people all day long and it just drains me really, really bad. And certainly when I come home I have to have a little energy left to be there for the kids and show them love and have conversations with them. So I'm just not sitting at the dinner table or off in the corner trying to reset. And so one of the habits that we have formed together as a couple and this is just learning that over the past 12 years is, once we've got the kids all put away, for, uh, I sit on the couch, we sit on the couch, we have maybe 30 ish minutes of conversation, just kind of winding down the day.

Chris:

And Leanne loves to read Um. As you all know, she talks about books. She's always reading books, um, and I love her for that because she's always got good things to talk about, um and teach me about, because she's always got good things to talk about and teach me about. And then, you know, while she's reading usually about 9, 9.15, I start to fall asleep, and so what we typically do is she curls up in a blanket and is reading her book and I just get on her lap, kind of like a Labrador retriever, and just kind of sprawl out, you know, on her lap. I keep her warm, you know, and cozy while she scratches my head and reads her book, and that's how we usually end our evening and we've come to both love that time together. We find joy and fulfillment in that time, each in our own different ways, and that's once again another way that we connect through our love languages.

Leanne:

And it's a simple thing too, like I think. Sometimes, when you've been married for a while, you feel that, oh, if we're not doing some you know nice fancy date or that kind of thing, then we're not spending enough time together or whatever season of life you're in. So it is comforting to know that sometimes just the simple things of just spending time together in the comfort of your own home in a very simple way, can also be a way to show love, and I think that's a good thing to remember. It doesn't have to be extravagant, it doesn't have to be fancy, it's just understanding what each other needs and doing your best to show that love in the midst of the busy life. So, in kind of on that same topic, how do you prioritize our relationship amidst all of life's demands and work and family and other commitments?

Chris:

It's hard and, as I said before, it takes intentionality and, to be honest, sometimes it takes reminding. You know, leanne is very gracious to me. She knows that I'm at a point in my career where I'm going to be distracted not only at work and a lot of times at home, as problems arise after work as well, um, as problems arise after work as well, uh, and so many of the times you know, through her loving and creative ways to kind of um bring me back to, to remembering some of that Um, you know it helps me. It helps me check myself, um, and then re reprioritize. And it's not a.

Chris:

You know, land loves her schedules, um, and I love schedules too. Obviously, my job, I'm very organized and my schedule is pretty set most of the time. So I enjoy that certainty and constant. But through all that, I have to look for windows of opportunity, like today, for instance, um like to like today, for instance, uh, anytime we have a day off, um that I can devote some time um to to taking care of her and focusing on her. You know, those are the things that I have to do and it doesn't just come naturally because of all the different things that, uh, I have to focus on. So, first and foremost, thinking about her, remembering her and making time for her Um, and, of course, it's not just her coming up with all the creative ideas Um, I have to do some of that too, which is fun, um, it brings back some of the romance, uh, and a little bit of that um pursuit that we all um love and need uh at different points in our lives.

Leanne:

That's very good. I love that, and what I hear you saying, too, is just being very intentional within the relationship and looking for opportunities as they present themselves to prioritize spending time together, going on dates or doing whatever it is to remain connected, and I think that's a really cool thing to do. What values or practices have helped you maintain a strong bond over the years?

Chris:

And what have you learned about yourself through our marriage? Well, I mean values, obviously our Christian values, christ-centered lives, christ-centered family and then Christ-centered approach just to how we view the world and interact with the world. We view our time, my time I say our time. I'm in the Navy, but so is my wife and kids, and any of you out there listening can understand that. But once again, we use that as part of our ministry, knowing that we are going to be scattered around not only the US but around the world and have opportunities to plant and grow not only our faith together but certainly in those faith communities or just the communities in general, as we interact with people in and outside the faith by just showing them love and light and the principles that Jesus commissioned for us as disciples.

Chris:

And so, beyond that, you know, we participate in life groups, once again, staying connected together in the Word and the community and circles of friends that we both are part of. And then, you know, as a family, we have devotion time, we read the Word in the morning, each individually, and then Leanne does a fantastic job with the kids, certainly as I'm already off to work, but I've seen this a couple of times where she's still doing Bible studies and devotions in the morning, and then we do stuff with the kids at night as well. So they're waking up with the word and they're going to bed with the word, and so those are ways that not only we connect together, but certainly connect through and with our family to strengthen that bond. It's not that she has her roles and I have my roles. We do life together and we do all that under the focus of Jesus.

Leanne:

Yep, and it's fun to be able to do that together and knowing that we are each supporting each other within our different roles and then as a family unit as well. What would you say you're most grateful for in our marriage? I'm grateful.

Chris:

Well, first and foremost, I have a Proverbs 31,. You know, wife, and when you read that, when I look at it and reflect on it and look at what Leanne has done for our family and continues to do for our family, I mean it provides me so much peace, not only as I go off to work, I can holistically and wholeheartedly focus on the work that I need to get done while I'm there. I can be present fully there, but I can also be present fully here when I come back home, because she has taken on that role so graciously and so fully and that has really just provided such a blessing to myself and to our children, the home that she just makes for us. And so I would say, you know, that's, that's the greatest, you know gift and thing that I appreciate from from Leanne.

Chris:

You know she, she was a teacher when we first met. She had invested a lot of her life and time into that profession and of course, me taking her around the world has has been, you know, tough for that to continue. But she's taken on the family role, the homemaker and really the glue and the foundation that kind of keeps our family together and on the Christ-centered path, certainly as you spend most of your time with the kids and in this house, and many times I'm just along for the ride and in a supporting role, and it's one of those things where I don't feel as the husband that you know. I've taken a secondary role. It's another way for me to support you in that ministry, which is our family.

Leanne:

I would have to say that I'm most grateful for being able to share this life with my person, for being able to share this life with my person. They say that you marry your best friend, and, while I think that that's true in a lot of ways, but just like the person that you would share everything with and just want to confide in, the one that you want to pray with all of those things, it's just such a blessing to be able to be equally yoked with your person for for the rest of your life on earth, and I just think that's a really beautiful thing and I'm so grateful for that in our marriage as well, and just look forward to many more years of being married to you. So my last question for you, um, as we wrap up here, is what is the best piece of advice that you'd give to someone preparing for marriage?

Chris:

Well, this is going to come obviously from a lens of of my faith, um, and my focus Once again, as I went through the beginning stages of our courtship and our relationship. You know there was a lot of me making you almost an idol, like you know, kind of focusing too much on you, and I think, first and foremost, you got to get right with yourself and, specifically, the Lord. Like, if you're not in a healthy spot, if you don't have a foundation that is in the right spot and I believe that is Jesus and that's not strong enough. Marriage is going to test you, life is going to test you and you're going to test each other through that process. So, first and foremost, you have to be in the right spot, um, not just because you're in love and you love that person, but sometimes working on each other first, um, and being right with the Lord is, is, is the best thing for the longterm, um, I remember there was times in our relationship where we were extremely connected and then, you know, there was a time where you dumped me, but I think before we got married. But I would say, you know, while that hurt and it was a reality, check it. Let me know that you know I can't like, like you told me and I didn't realize this at the time I can't rely exclusively on you as my source of happiness. That comes from Christ alone.

Chris:

And not only that, but as you are going through your relationship, as you're starting out, you have to have tough questions. You'll be faced, especially if you have kids, if you're blessed to have kids, whether that's naturally or maybe you adopt them, kids will challenge you right, we all come from different backgrounds. We have different family circles. We have different beliefs on discipline and how some of those things go, and money and finances, all those things. You have to have those tough questions and at the end of the day, if you can get through all those tough questions, one of the things that's hardest for you know, young couples to understand and we actually Leanne and I experienced this at once is when a man and woman are joined together. They're cleaved and separated from their family and they become their own family. And I remember this one time you had some sort of car trouble and your first instinct was to ask your dad for help, like what do I do, dad?

Chris:

And I mean that was, that was actually pretty hard for me as well, because once again, I'm your husband. You should come to me with those things first and foremost, and it's my job to help you, not your dad's job to help me. I had to get over myself a little bit because you're still, and it's my job to help you, not your dad's job to help me. I had to get over myself a little bit because you're still, you know, in that transition period. But once I communicated my thoughts and my feelings towards that, you understood where I was coming from and, at the end of the day, communication has to be really good.

Chris:

It's something that you always have to work on, and even when you think you've got it, there's probably more work that you've got to do. And even when you feel like you're going to hurt your significant other's feelings, you got to have the conversation. It's got to come from a place of love and not resentment or fear or anxiety. Once again, you have to get right with yourself and understand where you're coming from before you can have those tough conversations, but you have to be willing to have them, because life is hard, life will present many, many challenges and you can't prepare for all of them, and so having a plan and a foundation and a path together which, for us, is walking towards Christ each and every day.

Leanne:

So communication is very important, and then keeping Jesus in the center. I like that. Well, honey, thank you so much for being a part of this show today, and thank you for all of that wisdom that you shared and all of the very kind things that you said too. Thank you so much for being a part of this show today, and thank you for all of that wisdom that you shared and all of the very kind things that you said too. I hope that this is encouraging for you listening, and we look forward to more conversations about marriage in the future.