Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
Encouragement and Inspiration for women choosing to rise above the “just survive” mentality and instead set their mind on thriving in all that they say and do. The ultimate goal is to equip you to pursue whatever is excellent in the midst of your ordinary life and in all that you say and do.
Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
22: Raising Resilient Followers of Christ
Have you ever watched children on a field trip and marveled at the mix of chaos and wonder?
Reflecting on such an experience, I unravel the challenges and triumphs of parenting, particularly the intricate art of teaching obedience and surrender to God. Through relatable stories and biblical narratives, I examine the human tendency toward rebellion and the illusion of control, reminding parents that while they guide, they aren't the gatekeepers of their children's salvation. Proverbs 22:6 is highlighted as a wise observation rather than a promise, steering the conversation toward nurturing a heart of obedience and faithfulness over mere behavioral compliance.
In our journey through parenting, we can draw a vivid analogy of a fenced backyard, teaching us how boundaries can actually create a sense of freedom. From this perspective, we explore how equipping children with the full armor of God, as detailed in Ephesians 6, can cultivate spiritual resilience and growth. The goal isn't just to raise "good kids," but to develop discerning followers of Christ who choose righteousness even when no one is watching. Through prayer and spiritual guidance, we aim to empower children to stand firm in their faith, embracing truth, righteousness, and salvation as their shields against life's challenges. Join me as we strive to foster a confident identity in Christ for the next generation.
Recommended Reading:
Gospel Mom by Emily Jensen & Laura Wifler
Little Pilgrim's Progress by Helen L. Taylor
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I was on a field trip the other day with my boys and I was riding on the bus with all of the first graders when I was struck by how hard it is for 6 and 7 year olds to follow directions. I mean, I know as a parent, but to see so many kids all at once struggling to simply stay in their seat, it was borderline comical. And of course it reminded me how rebellious our hearts naturally are. Since that fateful moment when the sneaky serpent, as we like to call him in our house, moment when the sneaky serpent, as we like to call him in our house, asked did God really say? We have been doubting God's ability to do what is good and right and true. Somehow we made up in our minds that we know better than God and we have been struggling with this rebellion ever since. You have probably heard the verse from Proverbs. It's Proverbs 22, 6, and it says train up your child in the way he should go. Then, when he is old, he will not depart from it. Then, when he is old, he will not depart from it. This verse typically brings a lot of comfort for parents because it feels a bit like a formula If I just do this, then this will happen, and I think we're all kind of looking for that magical formula, right? And yet here's the uncomfortable truth this verse isn't a promise.
Leanne:The Bible Recap by Tara Lee Cobble says that the book of Proverbs is part of the wisdom literature section of the Bible. She says of the wisdom literature section of the Bible. She says wisdom literature has to be handled differently than other books in scripture because it isn't God's laws or advice and it isn't prophecies or promises. Proverbs like this one about training your children, is simply a wise saying that someone said who was trying to live their best and live out the wisdom of God. In other words, this isn't a promise and this isn't promised to you. If you read a children's Bible to your child every night or you make sure that they attend Sunday school and memorize verses, this isn't a promise that says if you do all of those things, then your child is going to grow up and live for Jesus. This verse is merely an observation that children who do grow up doing these things tend to follow after God, but that is not always the case, and right now I am guessing that you can think of someone who grew up in the church and didn't end up staying rooted in that faith. Church and didn't end up staying rooted in that faith. If you are feeling a little bit hopeless right now, take a deep breath, because here's the other uncomfortable truth you are not in control, and that's actually a really good thing. You are not responsible for your child's salvation. That is God's responsibility and he is ultimately in control of the path and the direction that your child will take.
Leanne:This fight to be in control that we have can also be traced way back to the garden, After Eve gave the forbidden fruit to her husband and God called her out on it, right along with Adam and the serpent. God revealed the consequences for their actions and in Genesis 3, 16, the second half of the verse I'm going to look at. It says specifically to the woman and you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you. Since the garden, women have struggled with doubting God's ability to do what is good and right and true and have a desire to be in control. Basically, the foundational rebellion of women is believing that we know better than our husbands and, ultimately, god. Much like those little first graders trying to keep their bottoms in their seats on the bus. We, as women, struggle to surrender our desire for control, especially when it comes to our children and, even more specifically, when it comes to their behavior.
Leanne:The idea for this episode came about after one of those hard parenting days, the days when you are tired and impatient and your kids are cranky and not capable of listening to anything you say, and so you raise your voice or you yell to get their attention, and then you immediately feel guilty and shameful and, honestly, you just kind of want to hide, but you are still the adult in the room and so you have to keep going. Those are the days when I find myself just wanting to regain some semblance of control, because when I am in control, everything feels better. Everything feels better. And yet I am learning that this feeling of control is simply a manipulation of the enemy. It's the same rebellion rearing its ugly head again, the rebellion that believes I know what is best, better than God. I was convicted of this as I tried and failed to correct behaviors I was seeing in my children, and it was in that moment. It was like this curtain was pushed aside and I could really see what was happening. I was using control as a way to get my kids to do what I wanted them to do. I was telling them what behavior I expected to see or else, and then I expressed my frustration over their failure to behave the right way. This all leads to another uncomfortable truth Good behavior isn't the goal. Behavior isn't the goal.
Leanne:In 1 Samuel 15, there is this episode in which Saul, who was king of Israel, was given specific instructions to follow and instead he thought he did what he thought was best. Samuel, the prophet of God during that time, boldly corrected Saul by saying this, and you can find this in verses 22 and 23. Samuel said what is more pleasing to the Lord? Your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen, obedience is better than sacrifice and submission is better than offering rams. Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols. So because you have rejected the command of the Lord, he has rejected you as king. That's some serious words.
Leanne:Teaching my children obedience is more important than controlling their behavior. For their sake, for their good, if I focus on controlling their behavior, what will happen when they leave my home someday or are in the company of others who aren't invested in doing what is right? Will they choose to live for God or will they decide that they know better? Teaching my children to obey is showing them who is really in control and why His way is always for our good. Even when we don't understand it, it's still for our good. Even when we don't understand it, it's still for our good, and obedience is something we are always working on as believers. It's part of the sanctification process and for children who are young and still trying to learn what it means to obey, it's just another Tuesday.
Leanne:Obedience is something that you will start teaching your children from the moment you first see sin rear its ugly head in your child. We are all born into sin and usually around 15 to 18 months old, you will see that first indicator of sin manifested in your child, even if we don't want to admit it. I remember my daughter was sitting in her high chair and I had just told her that we do not throw food. Throwing food is not acceptable and I remember she looked me right in the eyes and, without breaking any eye contact, she threw the food again, and then that little darling smirked. She was only 15 months old, but she knew exactly what she was doing. Her rebellious heart had revealed itself. Her rebellious heart had revealed itself.
Leanne:The challenge of teaching your children obedience begins around a year or a year and a half and then continues throughout their whole life. But really in those first five years you will continue to reinforce what it means to be obedient throughout their lives, but the bulk of your instruction will be in those first few years, and please hear me when I say you want to emphasize obedience when they are young, because it is much harder to teach as they get older. But here's the main point that I want to make about teaching obedience to your children. Your mission during this season of parenting is to help your child see the value of obeying God, first and foremost because His way is good and right and true. You can help your children understand this by requiring their obedience to you as their parent. And yet, ultimately it ties back to obedience in God, and you, as the parent, are walking in obedience to God by teaching your children to obey. We were given that task to teach our children obedience, and so by teaching them, we are obeying God and setting an example for our kids. One way that I like to explain obedience to my children and again, this is a conversation you can have when it makes sense, when it's age appropriate. But I use this analogy Imagine that you're playing in the backyard or at a park and there's no fence around it.
Leanne:How would you feel playing there? Do you feel safe? What if animals were allowed to come in and out of the backyard? What if other kids could come in and take your toys whenever they wanted? What if the neighbor's dog could come over and take your toys whenever they wanted? What if the neighbor's dog could come over? And what if you took your snack off the porch when you weren't looking? Could you accidentally wander outside of the backyard? What would happen if you did? Now imagine that you were playing in a backyard that has a fence all the way around it. How would you feel playing there? Would you be more excited to explore all around the backyard? Would you feel safe when you obey? It's kind of like playing in a backyard with a fence all around it. You have so much freedom to run and play and have fun, as long as you stay inside the boundary. If you are tempted to go outside of the backyard, it is mom and dad's job to bring you back into the safety of the backyard. We do this because we want what is best for you and because we love you. This little analogy is the same and is true of God. Obedience to him is how we can live with freedom. We actually have more freedom when we walk in obedience, and it shows that when we trust God to have our best interests in mind, then we get to experience that freedom in that relationship with Him.
Leanne:By teaching your children the value of obedience, you are not simply trying to control their behavior. You are giving them something deeper and more meaningful to grasp, and by addressing the heart issue of rebellion right from the start, you are helping your child to identify their sin, to receive forgiveness and get back on the path of obedience. This is the most loving thing that you can do for your child. It is hard to see your child rebel and sin. It is uncomfortable to admit that your child isn't the perfect little angel that you hoped that he would be. And yet, the sooner that you can surrender your child to God and commit to teaching obedience and not just good behaviors, the better off your child will be, because training up your child in the way he should go begins with you.
Leanne:Are you willing to be obedient to the mission of raising godly children. It's not always easy, but it's an important mission. Your goal as a mother is not to have good kids. Your mission is to raise discerning Jesus followers who are confident in who they are, in Christ. You have been entrusted to lead your children on the path of obedience so that, even when no one is looking, they will choose what is good and right and true. And that's what you want, isn't it?
Leanne:Ephesians 6, 1-4 includes some of the best wisdom for parents and children, and it says this Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment, with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This is our charge as women of excellence not to control our children so that they behave a certain way and make us look good, but to teach them the discipline and instruction of the Lord, which begins with obedience.
Leanne:And I don't think it's an accident that just a few verses later, in the same chapter of Ephesians, you will find the directions or the instructions to put on the full armor of God. Teaching your children obedience gives them the opportunity to surrender their own control and rebellion and choose God's way instead, because at some point in their lives they will need to fight for their. They'll need to fight their own battles and temptations, and you want your child to be able to stand firm against the enemy, even if that enemy is our own rebellious heart. To close this episode, I want to read to you this passage from Ephesians this is what you are working towards as you teach your children about obedience. You are teaching them how to put on the armor of God so that they can stand firm and stay on the path that leads to God. Ephesians 6, 10 through 18.
Leanne:Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.
Leanne:Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil, for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly places. Therefore, take up the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand in the evil day and, having done all to stand firm. Stand, therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth and having put on the breast plate of righteousness and as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace in all circumstances, take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one, and take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. They are choosing to remain on the path of obedience and are fully committed to living for God, because His way is good and right and true.