Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
Encouragement and Inspiration for women choosing to rise above the “just survive” mentality and instead set their mind on thriving in all that they say and do. The ultimate goal is to equip you to pursue whatever is excellent in the midst of your ordinary life and in all that you say and do.
Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
37: Embracing the Outdated - Creating a Welcoming Home with Bonnie Ivester
What does true hospitality look like when your home is a work in progress? Join us as we welcome Bonnie Ivester from "Embracing Outdated" who shares her journey of transforming an 80s fixer-upper into a welcoming haven while nurturing a heart for hospitality.
Bonnie reveals how her understanding of hospitality was shaped by watching others create "revolving door" homes where people felt genuinely welcome without pretense or perfection. These formative experiences—from impromptu dinners with neighbors who combined whatever ingredients they had on hand to receiving meals after her first baby—taught her that meaningful connection happens in the midst of real life, not in picture-perfect settings.
As a mother of four living in what she describes as "the most outdated 80s home," Bonnie offers practical wisdom about creating beauty within budget constraints. "We all live within a budget," she reminds us, noting that limitations simply invite creativity rather than excuses. Her constant decluttering provides peace amid the chaos of family life, while her willingness to welcome neighborhood children stretches her type-A tendencies in unexpected ways.
Perhaps most refreshing is Bonnie's perspective on comparison in our social media age: "There's always going to be a prettier house than yours." Instead of chasing perfection, she encourages listeners to seek what God has specifically for their homes and families, recognizing that we all possess creativity as image-bearers of our Creator. By focusing on making spaces functional, expressing gratitude for what we have, and embracing the process rather than rushing to completion, we create homes that genuinely welcome others.
Ready to transform your perspective on homemaking? Follow Bonnie's journey on Instagram @embracingoutdated and discover how to create a home that reflects God's love and hospitality—even with pink sinks and dated cabinets.
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Friends, I am so thrilled for you to hear this conversation today. Last season I talked a little bit about hospitality and that episode received so much positive feedback. So clearly this is a topic that you want to hear more about, and I am pleased to have my friend Bonnie on the show today. And today we're going to dive into the heart of hospitality beauty of contentment and the joy of turning a house of contentment, and the joy of turning a house into a home, no matter what your budget is. So, Bonnie, thank you so much for joining me here today. You are a woman who truly embodies the spirit of inviting others in and embracing the space that God has given you, and I love how you decorate with intention and grace. So, Bonnie, before we jump in into all of the things homemaking and hospitality, can you share a little bit about who?
Bonnie:you are. Oh, thank you, that was so kind. I am a mother of four, I'm married, just turned 40. So this feels like a new season of life, but, um, we have moved around a bit. We used to be military or not anymore, but somehow just find ourselves moving around still, and so we have lived in a lot of different houses and, um, everyone with its unique charm or challenges, and I just have a love of decorating and I think I got that from my mom. Anyway, fast forward to this house that we have lived in for not even a year. It's the most outdated 80s home that we have ever lived in, but it is such a fun challenge to make this house feel like home. Yeah, started documenting it and I'm enjoying the creative, truly like the creativity, the creative process of it.
Leanne:Yeah, oh, I love that so much. I love seeing your your Instagram account and, for those of you listening, you can find her at Embracing, outdated, and it's so charming. You have so many great tips that you share there. What would you say first kind of sparked your love for decorating? You mentioned your mom, kind of getting some ideas from her, but also decorating your home with the purpose of inviting people in. What would you say kind of sparks that for you?
Bonnie:I would say, if we're speaking on hospitality or inviting others in, when I was in my young 20s and involved in ministry, I had a couple different families that just so beautifully I watched invite others in constantly and I kind of saw it as this like revolving door. They just wanted whether it was teenagers, young adults, I mean they it just was this beautiful picture of like just messy, no agenda, but just allowing people into their home and kind of this constant stream. And so actually when Matthew and I got married, we talked about how that was important to us and we wanted that to kind of be something that was a standard in our marriage and even as we had children and grew our family and it certainly looked different in different seasons for us, but it was definitely sparked there. And then I think, as we had children, you know, hospitality and and inviting others over for dinner or whatever it may be, can feel intimidating or like you don't have the threshold for that. But and I'm sure you can relate to this, leanne I remember when we had our first baby and you get the meal, sign up whatever, and people just bring you meals and when you are in the receiving end of that hospitality, I mean it's overwhelming, and that this is like such a simple way to give, show hospitality, by bringing a meal to someone that, like I don't know that for some reason, that blew me away too, and that is another little seed that was planted in my head of like, just, I don't know.
Bonnie:It's a give and receive, like you be able to receive hospitality too, which can be hard.
Leanne:Right, right. I love that and actually even just the thought of opening your home and inviting people in like. You're receiving them into your home as much as you are giving them of yourself, but you're also receiving them and I feel like and you probably feel this way too I feel like I gain so much when I have people in like, either whether it's their wisdom or just the laughter um the laughter, or whatever it may be it provides so much for you. So I love how you see hospitality as that like give and receive. I think that's really beautiful.
Bonnie:Yes, and and there was another. So when, when we had our two oldest girls were like toddlers and babies, we had some dear friends move on the street right behind us. This was another season of learning hospitality from this dear friend. It was not pretentious, it was not always pre-planned, but she had this beautiful way of saying, hey, I've got green beans in my freezer and rice, like, what do you have? And we would get together at least once or twice a week for dinner, like all, let's see, there's probably four kids combined on the floor playing, um, you know, fighting over toys, all the the normalness of that season of life.
Bonnie:But looking back on that season, that was probably a couple of years of just. I thought I am learning so much from her. I wanted to have things just so and perfect. And you know, I thinking like if, if I was having someone over for dinner, it needed to be me preparing the whole meal and having it look cute and all of that. And I just thought, wow, she models this in such a beautiful way. I'm still struck by that to this day and I want to be more like her.
Leanne:I love that. I need people like that in my life too, cause I like you, like everything a certain way. I think a lot of people can relate to that this idea of like a performance with hospitality instead of it just being a hey, let's just bring it together, instead of it just being a hey, let's just bring it together. So I really love that. That's such a good reminder too. You share a lot of beautiful tips on your Instagram account, and I was wondering if you could share any practical tips maybe that come to mind about creating a beautiful space while remaining faithful to what God has provided you, like being a good steward of what you've been given.
Bonnie:Well, here's the thing we all live within a budget. Even if your budget is a million dollars to decorate your living room, you're not going to buy the $2 billion couch. So for some reason, for me that's not like a difficult thing to grasp. Like, I think, growing up, my mother made a beautiful home for us, and you know, I probably didn't grasp that at the time and had maybe like a finer taste in things. Yet she was very savvy and budget conscious, and so I think the apple just doesn't fall far from the tree there, just doesn't fall far from the tree there, I don't know.
Bonnie:I think too, when you're, when you're living within your budget and trying to steward well the things that God has given you the house, the furniture, the whatever that you may have received as hand-me-downs or family pieces I think you can get creative. You're discovering your, your style, creative with what you have, with what you don't have. Keeping a house like organized um, would also bring a lot more like um, peace and allow your, your family life to like flow. Maybe that's more important, but anyway, cause not everybody enjoys decorating, but um, I do think that within any budget, it just allows you to get creative like, have creative thinking.
Leanne:That's really great. Um, and you mentioned the organization. I also am a big fan of organizing and having rhythms and routines. Can you think of, maybe like your main go-to, like rhythm or routine, like the thing that brings the most peace into your home? Like what do you feel that? What organization aspect that you have do you feel brings the most peace?
Bonnie:Oh well, I donate often, like I declutter. Often, like you know, with kids, you have this constant stream of stuff coming into your house and it's like you don't even realize it, it just adds up and it's I'm not necessarily talking about like big toys or birthdays or Christmas, it's just like how do we accumulate so much stuff that we do so? I don't know, I'm just in a constant state of decluttering. I also see such value in pockets in my clothing, because when I walk around my house, because when I walk around my house, I feel like I'm constantly filling my pockets with trash, knickknacky things that maybe my children don't see as trash, but I do, yes, yes. So I don't know, the decluttering is a big thing for me and I don't think that that means that you have to have this very like minimalist, like Danish style, which there's nothing wrong with that either but I feel like in in all decorating styles, um, you can still be clutter free in a sense, and I mean we love giving away too, because I'm constantly reminding my children, you know, if you're not playing with this anymore, there is another little boy or little girl that will. Their parents will buy this from the thrift store that we are donating this to and they're going to love it.
Bonnie:And so oftentimes I think, like bringing lots of things into one room, like you know, if there's toys here in the room and there's toys in the playroom, like, let's bring it all together and look at it, what do you actually play with? So I don't know, I think. I think decluttering is my biggest thing. That gives me like peace in our home, because, you know, four children is just a loud house. It somehow gives me I don't know peace. I guess that's the best word.
Leanne:No, I hear you. I mean I just want to say amen, like I'm a big declutterer as well. If it doesn't serve a purpose, then it's out, although I feel like the Lord gave me one child to humble me in this, because he very much holds onto all the little knickknacks and I've just allocated a little basket. It has to fit in the little basket, but it definitely stretches me sanctifying to let him have his knickknacks. It's a lot, um, so what would you? What advice would you give to someone who is struggling to embrace this process of creating a home? Um, and instead of rushing it like, how would you encourage someone to just embrace the different states of creating a home? Does that make sense?
Bonnie:Oh yeah, and I have to say I don't think I do this well. I think maybe when I created my Instagram account it was to encourage my own heart. I've certainly lived in homes with more charm, we've had prettier, fully renovated kitchens, and so when we moved here I thought, okay, I love the project and we saw all the potential in this house. But you know we don't have an unlimited budget where we just rented the entire house before we moved in. So we're doing it piece by piece and I think it can be hard to like sit in the mess and I think that's also a great parallel to just like life as a believer, because there's a lot of like just sitting in that gray area of mess but I think like a practical way is to embrace, it is to make your home function for you while you're the process, because there is nothing pretty about our kitchen. It's just not. I mean it's, I guess it's.
Bonnie:If you love 80s farm, then it's cute, but it I have to have it function, you know. So I I have, I have to have it function, you know. So I have maximized the space we have in a small kitchen. And do you know what it feeds our family every night and every morning for breakfast, and every afternoon for lunch, and even when, especially at dinnertime, all six of us are in there like bumping into each other. Praise God that I have a kitchen to feed my family. Yeah, yeah, I think like just finding those like organizing methods or just things that make your house run smoothly maybe will help you take the focus off of this isn't pretty, or this is an updated bathroom or all these pink sinks. There's always going to be a prettier house. There's always going to be a prettier house, there's always better, and so taking the focus away from that, I think, is probably the healthier place to be. And I'm speaking to my own heart too.
Leanne:Yeah, yeah, I mean you're speaking to my heart too, and I hear I hear what you're saying in there too, that it's like being grateful for what you have in the midst of the mess or in the midst of the things that aren't imperfect. But looking you're, you're almost flipping the script of like, yes, this kitchen is tiny but it's functional, it feeds my family and I have all of these, this full house. What a joy. Like you're flipping the script on it a little bit, and I think that that is a really good reminder that when something isn't the way we want it to be, that we can look for the blessings in the midst of it, instead of kind of like wishing away the time or that kind of thing.
Leanne:I feel like it's like a lesson in contentment too, like being content while also stretching yourself to. You know, embrace whatever it is in, whatever season you're at. It's a good metaphor for life as well as projects. It's really good. Are there small daily or weekly practices that you do to help your home feel more welcoming and restful? You mentioned the decluttering, but is there like a way, something that you do to make it feel more welcoming?
Bonnie:But is there like a way, something that you do to make it feel more welcoming? You know, we're in a funny season right now. I guess, of the hospitality that we are practicing on the daily is one that doesn't come naturally to me because it is the neighborhood kids. Oh, okay, we've never, I guess, because we've always lived in a historic area, we've kind of always been like oh, the kids on the street, surrounded by a bunch of empty nesters, which is also super sweet, um, but now we actually have some families around us in a traditional neighborhood.
Bonnie:Going back to what I was saying about organizing, decluttering, um, I'm, I'm giving away myself as like pretty type A when it comes to like checking lists and stuff.
Bonnie:So, like the mess of and I don't mean like actual mess, I guess I mean like chaos of kind of kids coming and going, or like, oh, look, there's a kid on my back porch, is, I think the Lord must be really stretching me in that kind of way of hospitality. I don't know if that answers the question of like a daily rhythm, it's just our daily reality. Sometimes I'm like, oh, I have four kids. Like we don't need play dates, like don't sign me up for a play date. They want friends and they hospitality in their own way, even if that's not the way that they're voicing it, but somehow our house for, like you know, the girls next door and the boy across the street, um, it, it's, we're, like the house that they just come to, so I'm learning to just let that door revolve like I wanted it to, even when it's out of my, like control of adults that I have.
Leanne:I really appreciate you saying that, because I think that there is something about, like, we have our expectation of what hospitality would look like or what kind of a home we want to have and the people that we want to welcome in, and you're saying it's the neighborhood kids right now, that's who you're being hospitable to, that's who you're welcoming in and that's not who you would ideally have wanted to be inviting in, but that's who's there.
Leanne:The Lord is using that and those people to come in and I actually really love that. You're that house I like I have dreams of being, especially when my kids are teenagers. I want to be the house where they all want to come. But I also recognize that's going to stretch me because I just can imagine like a bunch of big, stinky, smelly boys and that's going to be really hard. But but I want them to feel comfortable and I think that says a lot to who you are and that you are able to welcome them in and let go of your expectations or the tidy, neat way that you want to have things and just be like okay, this is, this is where we are. Come on in here the popsicles like, let's go. In your opinion, how can we, as women, reflect God's creativity and hospitality in our homes without feeling that pressure of perfection?
Bonnie:Perfection is unattainable. True, I don't know why I'm thinking of this, but when I was in college, I went to school for dance.
Leanne:Oh, leanne, you were a dancer. I love this. Bring it on, sister.
Bonnie:I remember that one of my professors said there will always be someone that's a better dancer than you, and you know that you can just. You can just write, fill in the blank, for that you know there's always going to be a prettier house than yours.
Bonnie:There's always gonna be somebody with more money, a bigger budget, more well-behaved kids. In this like age of um, we want things right away, we want instant gratification. Social media is just can be so difficult with comparing those things I just mentioned. I think you just have to take your focus away from all of that and see, like, what does the Lord have for me, my home and my marriage and my family? Because everybody's different and everybody Listen, if you live in America and you have a home, you have a roof over your head, like you are so blessed, praise God. I don't know. I kind of feel like all women, even if they don't like, think that they are, have some sort of creativity within them, um, that the Lord has given them.
Leanne:So I don't know, when you seek the Lord and at all, like he's gonna, he's gonna show you how to make your home function and whether, whether it's super pretty or not, like well, and I think that what you're alluding to is something that seems so simple, but it really comes back to laying it at the feet of Jesus and just saying, like Lord, I want to make my home welcoming, I want it to be restful. How can I do that? And just laying it at his feet and saying, okay, lord, show me, show me what tiny way I can steward my home well this summer. Show me one tiny way that I can welcome the neighborhood kids in. What's one thing that I can do? And I think that sometimes we get these grandiose plans and we feel like we've been talking about you, have all the projects, and it's like just the one thing. Focus on that one thing.
Leanne:And I love how you said that we all have some creativity in us. It's because we come from a creator, a creative, creating God, and so we all have that. Maybe I mean I'm not a decorator in the sense that you are, but there is still creativity in me and by laying it at the feet of Jesus, he can show me how to create in a way that blesses my family and my heart and everyone around me, and the same is true for you. And it's in different ways, but that's okay. But when you lay it at his feet and say, help me to be more hospitable, help me to be a good steward of what I have, he will absolutely show up there and help you with that. Yeah, that's really, really great.
Bonnie:Yeah, amen yes.
Leanne:Well, bonnie, thank you so much for sharing these great insights. It's always just nice to have a conversation with someone else another like-minded woman, sister in Christ, and be able to talk about these things. So I love how you are committed to creating a space where people can feel God's love and that peace, and I'm just really thankful for you. And and um again, if people want to connect with you is the best way to do that, um, via Instagram.
Bonnie:Yes, okay, yeah, embracing outdated.
Leanne:Embracing outdated Great. Um well, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate you.
Bonnie:Thank you for having me. This was really fun.