Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
Encouragement and Inspiration for women choosing to rise above the “just survive” mentality and instead set their mind on thriving in all that they say and do. The ultimate goal is to equip you to pursue whatever is excellent in the midst of your ordinary life and in all that you say and do.
Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
42: Organized Beautiful Chaos - Motherhood Through Every Season with Linda Buffington
What does motherhood look like across the different seasons of our lives? From the sleep-deprived chaos of babies and toddlers to the bittersweet freedom of the empty nest, each phase brings unique challenges and unexpected joys.
Linda Buffington takes us on her journey of raising three children under two – twins followed by a third baby just nine months later – in what she lovingly calls "organized beautiful chaos." With refreshing honesty, she reveals how asking for help and building community became her lifeline, especially when her husband's work and graduate school often left her solo parenting.
You'll discover practical wisdom about establishing routines, boundaries and responsibilities early – like teaching kindergartners to pack lunches and fifth graders to do laundry. This groundwork makes the teenage years less turbulent when inevitable boundary-testing arrives. Linda shares how she and her husband navigated these years by engaging with their children's interests while maintaining clear guidance.
Perhaps most poignant is Linda's reflection on her current season with adult children in their twenties. Her role has shifted from coach to cheerleader, requiring the grace to let go while remaining a prayer warrior and trusted advisor when needed. Through it all, she returns to a simple truth that guides every parenting decision: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart."
Don't miss Linda's heartwarming story about the Christmas pajama photos that became a cherished family tradition – a beautiful reminder that sometimes our most meaningful memories emerge when we release control and embrace joy. Whether you're in the thick of toddler tantrums or preparing to launch young adults, this conversation offers both practical strategies and spiritual encouragement for your own motherhood journey.
Connect with Linda on social media @LindaGBuffington to continue the conversation about navigating life's seasons with faith and grace. Or visit @cupandpillarmercantile to check out her online boutique.
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Friends, I'm so excited for this conversation, to share this with you today. Today, we will be talking about how motherhood and homemaking evolve through the different seasons of life, with wisdom from scripture and lived experience, and I am so excited to welcome Linda to the show today. And, linda, thank you so much for joining me here today. This is a conversation that I have been so excited to have with you. You are someone who I really admire as a fellow mom of twins, and you are someone who just exudes wisdom and grace in all that you do, and so thank you for taking the time to chat with us today. Before we dive in, can you give us a little snapshot of your life today, maybe like your family or business, or what your current season looks like?
Linda:Sure, well, thank you for that. I'm excited just to share what God has done in my life. Right now, we are in a small town in Texas. We bought a little house to renovate. Our kids are 23, 23, and almost 22. And so they're all out of the house. And so it's my husband, chad, and myself, and we opted to sell our house after the kids graduated high school and went off to college, and so we have been living this little nomadic life, and this is the second house that we've not renovated the first that we've renovated, but the second house that we've purchased and so we're just living out here doing our little DIY life and, yeah, started a business which we can talk about at some point if we, if we have time. But yeah, so it's just, it's a very different season, but it's. It's been a really beautiful season as well.
Leanne:I love that. I'm super fascinated by the um DIY life. I really love that. I've actually mentioned it to my husband, like, hey, when our kids are gone, maybe we should. It's so fun. We're so used to a nomadic life with the military, so I love it, it's so fun. Well, I'd love to walk through the different seasons of motherhood and homemaking with you. Um, so can we start back all the way to those early years, which probably are blur at this point? But what can you tell us about those early days of motherhood? Like, what did they look like for you?
Linda:Well, my husband and I were talking about this and we came up with three words and it's organized, beautiful chaos. It just we were five years of fertility to have our twins, and then I got pregnant with our youngest when the twins were nine months old. And so I was home, my husband was working full time and he was also gone every other weekend, um, going to grad school in another city, and so he was about an hour and a half away every other weekend, and so it was. It was a blur, like you said for sure, Um, but it was. I mean, just answers to prayer. And so, um, we, we kind of joke, organized, beautiful chaos.
Linda:And I say organized because with three under, I guess it's 19 and a half months, I had to be organized. It was just. There was no. Just, whenever they wake up, they eat whenever they. There was none of that. It was essentially you're going to eat at the same time. You're going to get your diapers changed at the same time. Unless it's an emergency and there's a need for it, Um, you're going to get your diapers changed at the same time. Unless it's an emergency and there's a need for it, Um, you're going to play at the same time, You're going to have tummy time, at the same time, I mean everything you're going to bed at the exact same time. Everything had to be organized in order for me to survive that that season really.
Linda:And so organized, beautiful, chaos, um, beautiful. And the fact that you know, we had prayed and prayed and prayed for children and my best. I just kept saying, Lord, I just want, I just want a baby, I just want a baby. That's all I want. And you know, God's plan and his best is always so much better than our best can ever be. And so he made me wait a long time, and I was in that waiting season for a long time. Made me wait a long time, and I was in that waiting season for a long time, but then I had three babies and it was just one of those. So I it was a blur and it was chaos, but it was beautiful because it was, I was living in that answered prayer. And so definitely, definitely chaotic, though for sure.
Leanne:Oh, I love that, and I just love that. It reminds me of something I've heard other people say, like you were living what you had prayed for, and I think that's just so beautiful. What role do you feel that your faith played in shaping how you parented or managed your home in that season?
Linda:I, well, my husband and I, made it a priority to keep. We were both very blessed to be raised in Christian homes and we knew that we wanted that for our children as well. And so, you know, we were talking about this the other day and it was just a part of our kids' lives faith and and and God and a relationship with Jesus that was just a part of their lives from birth on. I mean, it was every night rocking them to sleep. We were talking about this, it was, we would rock them to sleep and we were always singing Christian songs or hymns. I mean, that's what they went to bed hearing.
Linda:And so, you know, then, when they were a little older, it was kneeling by the bed and saying our prayers, and we were laughing the other night because we remembered my oldest son's prayer, and it was always and please protect us from fires and robbers, and that's what it was, and I had totally forgotten about that. But it was just incorporating our faith into everything, not just praying before meals, which of course, we did, but it was every day. Well, have you prayed about this, even as little, little little kids, um, making sure that they were in church, making sure that they, um, were surrounded by people who held the same values, and so it was. That was really I mean, you can do that when they're so little, just by what you expose them to as well and so it was just a part of their, our lives, our daily lives.
Leanne:I love that. It sounds like it wasn't forced either. It was just like this very natural part of your day that God is just always there, and I think that that is really beautiful and it's something that then it just becomes the norm for them as they carry on, and I'm I can't wait to hear, as we talk about all the different stages, like how that carried over for them too. Um, was there anything that you feel really helped you stay grounded in those sleep deprived, chaotic years?
Linda:Um, I had to humble myself and ask for help. Really, my community and my friends. I had joined the Mops group. If you don't, if you know what Mops is, I joined the Mops group at our church and it was hard to get there. Yeah, three kids and one here and you know dragging the toddlers, and it was hard to get there, but it was so worth it. So my community was everything. I had friendships that you know next door neighbors and neighbors across the street, and I had to learn to ask for help. And then there were people that just stepped up to help and those people are like family to us.
Linda:My family didn't live close. Our families are all in Arizona and so, um, I was a teacher and my room mom when the kids I was, I went back to teaching. Oh, actually, I taught while I was pregnant with the twins See, it's all a blur and my room mom from that time just became this person who was just another older sister per se. She's too young to be my mom, but she's an older sister and they are, she and her two daughters and their husband. They were the first ones to stay with the kids alone when Chad and I went away for a weekend, I mean they just, and they're still a part of their lives. And this is 23 years later and they're still just family to us. And so really learning to ask for help and then just leaning on my community really helped me stay grounded, because you have to have community. You cannot do it by yourself.
Leanne:I so agree and I love that. I felt something similar since I had my single child first and I felt like I was a very good mom and had everything all together, and then God gave me twins to humble me I always say to humble me and it was in that time that I realized I needed to accept that help. So I definitely understand that I thought I had it totally under control and then realized it didn't, and I think that that receiving and asking for help is really hard for a lot of women, and I think that that receiving and asking for help is really hard for a lot of women. So I love that you shared that, because I think we can all lend a hand and also receive that hand of help. That's really wonderful.
Linda:Exactly, and I was reversed, so I had the twins and so so, once again, with Chad gone every other week, I just had to ask for help. But then it's I kind of chuckled. When Max came along, I was like, whoa, wow, what do people complain about, which I know is horrible to say, but it's just perspective, right, yeah. I was like, oh, my goodness, this is so much easier. But you, oh, I love that, but it's just perspective, right, god? Gives you that perspective, but I mean, reaching out for help is just critical.
Leanne:I agree. I really think that's true. So I'm super curious now switching gears to the middle years, like tweens and teens. This is the season of life that I'm starting to enter into. Tweens and teens, this is the season of life that I'm starting to enter into, so I cannot wait to hear what you have to say here. How do you think your relationship with your children shifted during those tween and teen years?
Linda:Yeah, I was thinking about this, um and we. I mean there's an obvious shift because your children start to push boundaries and they start to question more, which is not a bad thing. They start to sometimes rebel a little, in certain ways kind, we started early on instilling boundaries and independence and responsibility with our kids. I mean our children were. I had a very wise friend tell me one time she was a little older than I am and had children already, and she said I was watching her daughter, who was was five, use the microwave. And it boggled my mind and I don't know why, but I thought she's making her own lunch. And Leslie said yes, your role is to teach them to be independent and be there to guide them, and so that's something that we started early on. So they were making their own lunches. I would put in little bins and label the bins and I would tell them you have to take one from here, one from here, one from here, and I'll make your sandwich, and I would help them do that. So they packed their lunches, starting in kindergarten.
Linda:Love that they started doing, you know, they knew put the dishes away. They knew all of these things that they had to do. They started doing their laundry. Late elementary school, so probably like fifth grade, I taught them to do their laundry. So we had established boundaries and systems and routines. And so by the time they turned, you know, into the teenagers and entered those years, we had been doing all these things. So those boundaries, they already knew there were boundaries. They already recognized that they had to be responsible for certain things and then that that was on them. So middle school, your football uniforms not washed, sorry spray, some, you know, do some praise something on it? Right, it was and so seemed, and maybe I'm just not remembering correctly. But we just had a lot of fun those years and, yeah, we had the pushback on certain things. But once again, then it just goes back into discipline and boundaries and reminding them of those boundaries. So I think if you start with those systems, if you want to say in place when they're young, then it really does help when they become teenagers. It helps them really understand that oh well, nothing's changing just because I'm a few years older.
Linda:And I think that if you're involved and engaged with your kids and if you are having fun with them during those years especially like our son loved, like one of our sons loved movies. We just embraced that and we started, ok, well, let's go to movies together. And that was our thing. You know, obviously we vetted them first, but that was our thing. So they wanted to be with us, they wanted to do those things. You know, our son one of our other sons liked rap music and he found Christian rap music. Oh I love that. We embrace that right. And so it was just doing things together and being involved and obviously, like I said, vetting things and really leading and guiding and directing them, but still just being a part with know, just being with them, being engaged.
Leanne:Oh I love that this is like I'm taking all the notes. Okay, I love it. Um, so I feel like you have definitely talked a little bit about that relationship and then just being really connected with your kids and just it sounds very intentional, just like whatever they are into with your kids, and just it sounds very intentional, just like whatever they are into.
Linda:You're into it and I really think that there's a lot of good from that.
Linda:Well, with boundaries though, too, because there are things they wanted to be into that we were like absolutely not, and here's why, and so. But then you say, well, how about this, though? And you just kind of guiding and directing them. But you know if, if the things that they were interested in like rap music okay, not my favorite, but let's find some good christian rap music oh right, great. And then my son and I have been to see um, an artist, nf, I don't know if you've heard. We've seen him in concert four times together. Oh wow, I mean it. And that started back when he was in middle school. So it's kind of those little things just vetting us, but then also just really trying to be a part of what they're interested in too and meeting them where they're at.
Leanne:It sounds like I think that that's really great too. How would you say that you connected with your kids, with Christ in the center? Do you know what I mean? Like kind of pointing them towards God Obviously you're being very intentional and discipling them and that kind of thing, but then leading them towards the Lord to make those decisions for themselves.
Linda:So we made the choice early on and we sent our kids to a Christian school and so they were being pointed to the Lord all the time, right? But something that we were very intentional about as a family is, if the kids had issues, they knew that they could come talk to us and we would sit and talk. And if it, even if it was something that they had done, possibly that was not a wise choice. Yes, as a parent, you get upset and angry, obviously, but really just stepping back for a second and then sharing within reason of what they need to know about your own past. So does that make sense? What I'm trying to say?
Linda:I made certain mistakes and it was and they were at the at the age to really be able to understand and process that without me introducing something new to them. Right, if they could relate to that, I would share that and I would talk about how the Lord brought me through that, and that's something that I felt was really important. The kids knew they could come to us and talk to us, and they also knew that if we didn't have the answers, we would point them. We would pull out the word, we would point them to God's word, but then we always prayed with them through it. And so you know my daughter to this day she's 23, and she'll still call me and she'll say I'm just struggling with this, can you please pray for me? And so that's something that it's just having done that their entire lives.
Leanne:So if that does that make sense, that makes so much sense and I just I love that. It's just this constant. I think I'm just hearing you're you're laying those groundworks groundwork, foundation at the beginning and you're just building on it. It's not really that different, it's just building and you're just moving to the next layer. You've always been praying with them since they were little and it just becomes a different type of prayer as they get older, and I think that is so. It's in some ways it's very refreshing as someone who has kids that are still in those elementary years that what the next season looks like is not that much different than what I'm doing now. It's just they're a little older and that's very comforting to hear. So I really appreciate that perspective. You mentioned your daughter now and I'm curious now that your children are grown, how has your role as a mother evolved now that your children are adults and maybe don't need you in the same way that they once did?
Linda:I think that was the most difficult part and has been the most difficult part of them Leaving the nest, so to speak, and graduating and moving on, because you do kind of go through not an identity crisis, but kind of Because, as moms, we pour and pour and pour everything, every bit of our soul, in our children and it's a beautiful and such a gift to be able to do that. And so when my kids left, when the kids left, it was this wait a minute, who am I now? And I'm still mom and they still call me, but it's more of a. It's a relationship now where they don't really need my guidance. I'm a coach. I'm not a coach anymore. I'm more of a cheerleader, cheering them along for them.
Linda:Um, you know, the, the twins are on their own, they're doing their own things, they're living on their own, they have careers that they're starting, one's going back to grad school. That's so they. They don't. I really don't have a right to tell them what they can and can't do it. I think my role is the same in the fact that I pray for them when they need it and when they, I mean I pray for them every day. Let's be real right. That never changes, but if they call and ask advice, I can share more now, I think, than I could.
Linda:You know, when you get to be 21, 22, 23, the problems and the issues that you face are very different from when you were at home.
Linda:And it's given me the opportunity to really be able to share a little more and say, well, when I was your age I was dealing with this, this is how I handled it, and you know, and then, once again, always praying with them, I've been able to use the experiences and the struggles and the trials that I had growing up. Now that they're older, now I can really kind of dig into some of that when it's relevant for them. So it's a different relationship, for sure, and I'm fully aware, especially with my boys, that it's going to be even different and that that's going to be another thing that I have to learn and process as a mother, right, we have to learn to let go thing that I have to learn and process as a mother, right, we have to learn to let go. And so it's been a season of letting go and cheering them on, um, and then trying to, you know, really lean into what, what God has for me.
Leanne:Next, yeah, oh, I love that. I can feel it for the future, like all of those different feelings and looking through just the, the difference that your role is with adult children and that it is it's different, but you're still so very present in their life and they know they can always call you. I mean, I'm 40 and I still call my mom and ask her for advice, and I'm so glad she's still here that I can do that Um. So that's really beautiful, that um, that you are available for them when they call and always pointing them back to the Lord through prayer. There's so many, so many things that we can glean from that. In your opinion, what, what would you say was maybe a key biblical principle or, like I don't know, maybe even a verse or something that really guided you through your seasons of motherhood?
Linda:You know, love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and follow your soul.
Linda:That is that is the first one and the most important. Um, you know, we, we, I have told my kids often it doesn't matter. And when they were younger, this was not the case. It was like you, you have to go to school and you have to do this and you have to do this Right. They're older now. It's like follow your dreams, Follow what God puts on your heart. It doesn't matter to me what your careers, it doesn't matter to me who you marry. It does they. You know they need to love the Lord. There you go, but in the reality, in reality, the only thing that really matters is that they know, know Jesus, and that they have a relationship with him. Yep, and that is. That is the one thing. So, love the Lord, your God, with all your heart. That is. That is for just the most important thing In light of eternity. It's really the only thing that matters, Right, and so, yeah, yeah, I love that.
Leanne:I think that in the beginning stages of motherhood it feels very complicated and overwhelming and all those things. It feels very complicated and overwhelming and all of those things, but as you go it really does simplify and boil down to a truth as simple as love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and even just the reminder of you know love God, love others. It really is that simple. I mean, that is the. The truth of Jesus's entire ministry was really just that, and so it's not so complicated.
Linda:It's not, and then we also really walking with integrity.
Linda:I mean honesty, integrity, loving the Lord. My mom said something to me when the kids were young and she said you're always going to love your kids. They're your kids, like they could do something horrible, and you're still going to love them because they're your children. But your role is to raise them so the world will love them, not in a worldly, secular way, but that they are contributing citizens, so that they are people that someone can look at and say they have honor, they have integrity, people that someone can look at and say they have honor, they have integrity. So you want to raise your children, you're going to love them no matter what. So you just want to raise them so that, not that the world will love them, because that doesn't sound quite right, but in a way, right, right, yeah, yeah, and not that they need the approval of the world, but you do want them to um, you just want them to be contributing members of society and you want them to exude their love of Jesus so that they can, in turn, lead others to him.
Leanne:Right, right, I love that. I. One of the verses I pray over my daughter quite often when I was pregnant with her and then just always pray is I call it the prayer of Esther, which is that, like Esther in the Bible, she found favor with people just for loving God. And she found that favor, and so that's something I always pray for. Her is that she would find favor with people because of her love for the Lord, and I hear that's what you're saying, and also that verse from first Peter, like always being able to give a defense for the hope that is within them, and that's just. Those are such great truths to be able to carry on. Well, to kind of wrap up our conversation today, I'd love to hear, like, what is your favorite family tradition?
Linda:your favorite family tradition, favorite, okay. So I learned a valuable lesson when the kids were very little, and this in turn stemmed into our favorite family tradition, the. My husband was gone I don't, I don't even know where he was and I had the three kids. Max was walking, so our youngest was walking, so he was probably like 15 months. So then, whatever, however, so three really little ones, right, yeah, I'm going to take Christmas pictures and I'm like I got this, I can do this on my own.
Linda:And so I brought change of clothes. They had their nice clothes and then they had their Christmas pajamas and we went to the picture people back then it was called picture people and we went there and they were wild, out of control, they were not listening, they were just on their worst behavior, essentially. And I was so flustered and we've all been there at your screaming kids and everybody's looking at you and I was just so frustrated I'm taking them out of their nice clothes and I spent the time just annoyed and frustrated, saying sit down, smile, quit, moving, quit. And it was just not a, it was not a beautiful moment. I put on their Christmas pajamas and we had the sweetest photographer, had the sweetest photographer and she said just let them get their jumpies out. And so they're in their pajamas and she's like, just jump, jump and she's screaming you know she's not screaming at them, but telling them jump and she's laughing and they're getting their wiggles out and she's snapping pictures. And we looked at the pictures at the end and the only pictures that I bought were them jumping in their pajama, all three of them feet off the ground, pure and utter joy expressions. And I thought, first of all, it's Christmas season. This is what it's about, not this. The only pictures I took home were the jumping pajama pictures, and I will tell you I took home were the jumping pajama pictures.
Linda:And I will tell you, every Christmas we never took another family picture or a picture all dressed up of the kids. It was pick out your jammies and let's go jump. Every year until the kids were too tall and the photographer said we can't do it anymore because they're jumping out of the frame. I can't get them in the picture. And that was in high school.
Linda:So in middle school and early high school our kids would all right, let's pick out our onesies. I mean, we had Pikachu onesies, all kinds of different pajamas over the years, but then the kids started even in late elementary, middle and even in high school. They were picking out there what poses they were going to do, so practice their jumps, and those are the pictures that hang on the wall and that, for me, when we could not do that anymore, it was just this sad when it ended but we couldn't get them in the camera anymore. They're so big and so that is by far, and I think if I were to ask the kids, they would say that too, because they just let them be and just let them explore and play and all of those things. Just the joy that comes out of them and it was just a reminder of wow, that's kind of kind of impacted my parenting as well, and so it was such a cool thing.
Leanne:Oh, I love that so much. That is just, I feel, like just divine appointment from the Lord to take something that was stressful and chaotic and turn it into, like you said at the beginning, something beautiful. That beautiful chaos became what you treasure the most, and I just think that is so sweet and also just kind of this over overarching vision of what motherhood is Exactly. It's never what you think it's going to be, but it's better, because the Lord takes it and makes it something beautiful. We can't do it on our own. We need him to do that.
Linda:And we're supposed to view things through the eyes of a child. Have faith in a child.
Linda:And just when I look at those pictures and I see the pure joy, it's just always a reminder, and over the years it was a reminder of just how, like I, I'm here to guide them and direct them and lead them. Yes, but which do I want? You know? The picture of just the stress all the time, the picture of the, you know, sit down, do this, do this, eat, frazzle nature, or do I want just the laughter and the pure joy? And every year when you pulled out those pictures, we still do that. It's that reminder and so I mean I think that's the way the Lord calls us to live too. We're not supposed to worry, I mean, that's hard, we're not supposed to stress, but we're supposed to live with joy, and live with just that promise of salvation, but just that joy that we have in the Lord, absolutely.
Leanne:Oh, this is so good, linda. Thank you so much for sharing all of this goodness with us today. There's so many truths and nuggets in here and I'm just so encouraged just by you and the example that you're setting for women like me, other moms who are in in it there alongside of you. Um, if listeners wanted to get in touch with you, what would be the best way for them to connect with you?
Linda:Um, my social media, so it's just Linda G Buffington, um, and so that's a great rate, great way to reach out, um, and then either that, either that or other cup and pill or mercantile, so I have those two sites as well, and so All right, I will make sure that I link both of those in the show notes so that people can reach out.
Leanne:But thank you so much, linda, for your time and your words of wisdom. I really appreciate you.
Linda:Thank you for having me.