Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
Encouragement and Inspiration for women choosing to rise above the “just survive” mentality and instead set their mind on thriving in all that they say and do. The ultimate goal is to equip you to pursue whatever is excellent in the midst of your ordinary life and in all that you say and do.
Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
47: Trusting God Beyond the Expectations of Others
Ever found yourself caught between what you feel God is calling you to do and what others expect of you? You're not alone in that struggle.
After years of agonizing over my children's education, I finally made a decision that felt right for our family—only to lose cherished friendships because of it. The painful reality hit me: sometimes following God's unique calling for your family means walking a path others don't understand or approve of.
The heart-wrenching question kept surfacing: "Am I not a good Christian mom because I don't homeschool?" Those insecurities and fears of inadequacy became a heavy burden as I compared myself to other Christian women whose choices looked different from mine. But through this journey, God revealed something transformative: His purpose for me wasn't to conform to others' expectations but to love Him wholeheartedly and teach my children to do the same.
Whether you're homeschooling or sending your children to public school, your primary responsibility remains unchanged—to disciple your children and teach them about God. The methods may differ, but the mission doesn't. Just as God called Hosea to marry a prostitute, Daniel to work for pagan kings, and Esther to marry an unbeliever, He may call you to walk a path that others question or criticize.
This episode is for every parent who's felt the weight of judgment or struggled to discern God's voice amid the noise of opinions. Remember, "God's plans for you and your family are not going to look like what He is calling another family to do." Your obedience to His unique calling matters more than meeting the expectations of others. As Psalm 16 reminds us, when we set the Lord before us, we will not be shaken—even when navigating difficult decisions that others don't understand.
What decision are you wrestling with today? Trust that God's wisdom is available to you, and He's holding your future secure in His hands.
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So I debated this episode for a while. I'm a generally open person and I really have no problems sharing things that I'm wrestling with, especially if I know it will help another person. But for some reason this was a conversation I just didn't really know how to articulate. I just didn't really know how to articulate. It's something I still wrestle with upon occasion. And yet I know that when we share our vulnerabilities and when we bring our struggle into the light, it's then that the Holy Spirit can begin the real work. I also know that I'm not the only woman or wife or mom who has experienced this internal debate, so today's episode is a bit more of a personal touch to it. It's, honestly, a little bit more jumbled as I continue to sort through the difference and the implications of a calling versus expectations. So bear with me as we examine this together.
Leanne:I feel that most people have something that they struggle with repeatedly. Even believers who know that they are forgiven and have received the grace given to them through Jesus know that they are forgiven and have received the grace given to them through Jesus. Because of this sinful, broken world that we live in. The temptation to relapse is strong and requires constant vigilance. 1 Peter 5.8 says Be alert and of sober mind your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. For me, the sin of self-reliance and the feeling that I am not enough or not doing enough resurfaces often, and it keeps me returning to my knees, especially in seasons of transition or when I am searching for clarity regarding God's calling for me. It's in these moments that I find the struggle to be enough or do enough in my own strength particularly challenging, and the one area that this comes up over and over again is with how my children should be educated.
Leanne:From the moment my oldest was ready to begin kindergarten, all my insecurities and expectations and uncertainties came crashing down on me. I wrestled with whether or not to homeschool my child or send her to public school. Personally, I experienced both. Growing up, I went to public school and then was homeschooled for about six years and then returned to public school later on in high school. So I knew firsthand the pros and cons of both homeschool and public school. Now a better Christian who would know to surrender this to the Lord and pray for His wisdom and I did.
Leanne:And yet every time I prayed about this particular topic like what should I do regarding education for my children? I couldn't hear anything. Silence. So many times I cried out Lord, just tell me what to do, and I know that others have felt that way too. Sometimes, I think, when there is a particular situation that's really really emotionally charged for us, it can be harder to hear that still small voice.
Leanne:So, with my child enrolled in school, a week before that first day, the last second, I pulled her and decided to homeschool. So clearly, I was very indecisive here Now, at this particular time, this decision was made because the year was 2020. And the school that she was enrolled in decided at the last second to start the year virtually, and I really didn't want anything to do with that. And so, in a way, the decision to homeschool was almost made for me and I was excited about it. I felt that I had a way to move forward and I was no longer stuck trying to figure out what to do and my insecurities regarding what to do about school.
Leanne:The decision was more or less just made for me. I reached out to a few dear friends who had been homeschooling for years and I sought their advice on what curriculum to use. I felt confident and I was ready to foray into this world of homeschool and it was wonderful. I made new friends who were also choosing to homeschool and together my daughter and I found a rhythm that worked. All my teaching background helped me to organize the curriculum and I honestly loved it. I could see how the Lord was going to use me to educate my children and I felt like I was doing kingdom work.
Leanne:That is until the tears started Hers and then mine. At first it was just during math lessons. They were more challenging and frustrating. At first it was just during math lessons. They were more challenging and frustrating, but then the tears came more and more often and in every lesson, and I started to wonder what am I doing wrong? Why is this so hard? No-transcript years and all the ups and downs that came with homeschool. And I know that if I had continued to homeschool we would have sorted it all out and found the way forward. I have no doubt that it would have all worked out, because God is good and faithful and merciful and if he wanted me to homeschool, he would help me find the way.
Leanne:But I didn't continue homeschooling. The struggle that my daughter and I experienced led me back to prayer and seeking God's best for our family regarding the education of my children. Perhaps I didn't make the decision wisely, maybe I just let the decision be made for me. So the following year, after much prayer and consideration, my husband and I decided to send our daughter to school. And here's the hard part I lost friends with that decision. Dear friends whom I adored no longer wanted to be my friend because of my decision to send my child to public school, and I was devastated. These were incredible Christian women, and all my old insecurities came back with a vengeance. It seemed that everywhere I turned, the women who I admired, the Christian women I looked up to, they all homeschooled their children.
Leanne:So I fought with thoughts and questions like am I not a good Christian mom because I don't homeschool? What's wrong with me? Why can't I seem to enjoy homeschooling? I'm a teacher, for crying out loud, I should be able to figure this out. Am I a bad mom to send my kids to school? Why don't my kids want to stay home with me? Am I just being selfish? Am I not trying hard enough? Am I just giving up? On and on, the thoughts plagued my mind and at the end of the day, I was certain that nothing I did would be good enough or right or best. I was failing my kids because I wasn't a good enough Christian mom.
Leanne:It's hard to say all of that out loud because, even though the Lord has brought so much healing and clarity into my life in this particular area, the hurt and betrayal and pain from that season still feels so raw. But here's the part I was missing God's purpose for me. You see, the most important thing that I can do on this earth, that you can do on this earth, is what Jesus says in Matthew 22, 37. Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. That is God's will and purpose for you, for me to love Him so completely and wholeheartedly that it doesn't matter what everyone else expects me. To love Him so completely and wholeheartedly that it doesn't matter what everyone else expects me to do. The opinions of others don't matter when compared to the opinion of my Heavenly Father.
Leanne:And because he is, according to Exodus 34, 6, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, I can move forward and make decisions that not everyone will agree with and I can prayerfully choose what is best for my children, knowing that where I fall short, god stands in the gap, and that, ultimately, my main objective as a mom is to teach my children to love God too. In fact, deuteronomy 6, 7 says you shall teach them diligently to your children and talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise, and I can teach them about God, whether they are taught at home or they go to public school. Now let me be clear about something this isn't an episode advocating for sending your kids to public school, and I'm not going to spend the next several minutes telling you why private school is a good option. I'm also not going to tell you that you should homeschool because that is the most noble option out there. What I am trying to communicate is that God's plans for you and your family are not going to look like what he is calling another family to do.
Leanne:The same God who is gently calling my best friend to homeschool her children is asking me to send my kids to our local neighborhood school, and I don't pretend to understand why this is the case. What I do know is that God is sovereign and always has our best interests in mind. I also believe that at any point, god could decide something different for our family, and it will be out of obedience that I do what he tells me to do, and so I have learned to hold my children's education with an open hand. Every year, I pray for direction and seek the Lord's best for us when it comes to decisions like these. When you don't know what to do or you are battling insecurities, the best thing that you can do is turn to the Word. God will never call you to do something that is in opposition to His Word, and James 1.5 says if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all, without reproach, and it will be given to him.
Leanne:So, when it comes to educating my children, I see that it is my responsibility as their mother, alongside of their father, to teach my children about God. Like we read in Proverbs 22, 6, we are to train up our children in the way they should go. This means the parents are given this job, not Sunday school, not youth group, not the private school teachers. Mom and dad, you have been entrusted with these precious children and God is equipping you to teach them the word and about who he is. So, regardless of whether you send your kids to school or choose to homeschool, this is your responsibility.
Leanne:Jesus says this to his disciples in Matthew 28, 19, and 20,. Just before ascending to heaven, he says Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you, and behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. While I know that this great commission is an inspiration for many missionaries, I believe it is also specific directions to parents. Go and make disciples. Start with the precious ones in your own home. So for our family, since my children do attend public school, this means that we wake up earlier so that we can have Bible time before going to school. This means that I am involved in each of their classrooms so that I can see and hear what they are learning about and then incorporate a biblical worldview as needed. It means that my husband and I are very intentional about the time we spend together as a family. We say no to opportunities and we prioritize family time every evening so that we can ensure that our children are filling their hearts and minds with what is good and right and true. For a family that chooses to homeschool, the day-to-day rhythms and routines may look different, but the foundation of the home is focused on spiritual training and discipleship, the same as a family that would go to public school.
Leanne:So, when it comes to educating your children, or discerning what God is calling you for, remember His expectations are the only ones that matter. He is the only one in a position to judge or correct the decisions that you make, and what God is choosing for you may not make sense to anyone else. God asked Hosea to marry a prostitute. Daniel worked for kings from secular nations. Jeremiah was told to buy land just before going into exile. Esther married a pagan king. Peter was told to take and eat unclean meat.
Leanne:You may never fully understand God's purpose or will for your life, or why he calls you to do specific things and not others. That's just the thing, though. He is God and you are not. Neither is your well-meaning friend, who doesn't understand why you are doing something different than what everyone else expects of you, if you are walking in obedience to God and in accordance with scripture and listening to his voice first and foremost, then none of the other voices or opinions matter, even if that means you lose a friend, even if that means you don't fully understand what God is doing. In and through you, trust that God knows what he is doing. He has a plan. He graciously lets us be a part of his plans.
Leanne:Jeremiah 29, 11 says for I know the plans I have for you. Declares the Lord plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a hope and a future, and he entrusts us with specific purposes to further his kingdom. So, like Jesus says in Luke 22, 42, not my will but yours be done. To close this episode, I want to share a section of Psalm 16 with you. These verses speak to the confidence and security that you can have in God's plan or purpose for your life, regardless of what season you're in. Psalm 16, 5-8 the Lord is my chosen portion and my cup. You hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord, who gives me counsel in the night. Also, my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand. I shall not be shaken.