Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
Encouragement and Inspiration for women choosing to rise above the “just survive” mentality and instead set their mind on thriving in all that they say and do. The ultimate goal is to equip you to pursue whatever is excellent in the midst of your ordinary life and in all that you say and do.
Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle
51: Raising Discerning Kids Today
Have your children ever asked you why they can't play the same video games as their friends or why your family doesn't celebrate certain holidays like everyone else? These seemingly innocent questions reveal a profound challenge facing Christian parents today: raising children who can discern truth in a world that deliberately blurs the lines between good and evil.
When my seven-year-old asked about Fortnite, my fifth-grader inquired about K-pop, and my other son questioned our lack of Halloween decorations, I recognized these weren't just casual curiosities. They were wrestling with something deeper—why our family looks different from others. As believers called to be "salt and light" (Matthew 5:13-16), we know standing apart is exactly what we're supposed to do, but helping our children understand and embrace this difference requires intentionality and wisdom.
Children naturally desire to fit in with their peers. Girls typically want to be liked, while boys seek to belong. This natural inclination collides with our biblical calling to be set apart, creating tension when the world celebrates values contrary to Scripture. Isaiah warns about those who "call evil good and good evil," a phenomenon our children encounter daily through media, entertainment, and social pressure. Rather than simply establishing rules, we must equip our children with discernment—teaching them to evaluate everything through the lens of God's truth. This means becoming students of the Word ourselves, engaging with cultural trends (even uncomfortable ones), asking critical thinking questions, and acknowledging the very real struggle of feeling different. Through resources like Pilgrim's Progress and examples of biblical figures who stood firm despite opposition, we can show our children they're part of a long legacy of faithful believers who chose God's ways over the world's.
What questions are your children bringing home? Instead of avoiding these conversations, see them as opportunities to develop discernment. Share your own experiences of standing apart, point them to Scripture, and remember God's promise that He gives wisdom generously to those who ask. The journey isn't easy, but raising children who can navigate this confusing world with biblical clarity is worth every challenging conversation.
Recommended Resources:
Mama Bear Apologetics by Hillary Morgan Ferrer
When Culture Hates You by Natasha Crain
Toxic Empathy by Allie Beth Stuckey
Connect with me!
You can find me on Instagram @mrs.leannetuggle or you can email me at leanne.tuggle@gmail.com. I love hearing from you!
Would you like more weekly encouragement? Subscribe to my newsletter Whatever is Lovely and be inspired to open your inbox again.
https://leannetuggle.myflodesk.com/v3r2zwdaik
If this is your first time here and this episode resonated, hit “subscribe” and submit a 5-star rating if you feel genuinely inspired to. Your positive feedback means the world to me!
Episode Sponsors:
Rodan + Fields - Take this brief quiz to find your customized skincare routine!
Red Aspen - Skip the salon appointment and shop here for hands that are hardworking AND elegant.
Whatever is Lovely - Subscribe here to the weekly newsletter designed to encourage you with words of wisdom and relatable content. Be inspired to open your inbox again.
So I'm going to be honest with you. When I first felt the Holy Spirit guiding me towards today's topic, I really felt that there were so many other women, incredible Christian women, who have already covered this topic, and with much more eloquence and authority. However, I also know that I cannot ignore something that the Holy Spirit keeps bringing to my heart and mind. So, out of obedience, let's dive into the topic of raising discerning kids in our world today. A few weeks ago, I recorded an episode on teaching your children discernment when it comes to choosing good books to read children discernment when it comes to choosing good books to read. That discussion has led to so many more conversations and a realization that books are just the beginning. Recently, one of my seven-year-old boys approached me and asked Mom, why can't we play Fortnite or Roblox? Now, besides the obvious answer that he can't play those because we don't even have a video game console in our house, I immediately recognized that there was a deeper question under the surface here. He may not have realized it, but the question he was really asking was why can't I play the games that everyone else my age is playing, or why does our family have different rules, or even what's wrong with those games? But before I had a chance to respond to his question, my fifth grader walked into the room and asked mom, what's K-pop? Demon hunters? Everyone at school keeps talking about it and I kid you not. Before I could answer that question, my other seven-year-old walked into the room and said Mom, how come the neighbors have Halloween decorations all over the yard and why don't we have any? With three sets of eyes looking at me. For all of the answers, I understood that raising discerning kids in today's world begins right now.
Leanne:As Christians, we are called to be the salt and light of the world. Matthew 5, 13-16 says you are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste. You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden, nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house In the same way. Let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Leanne:As a believer, the truth is that you and your family will look and act and speak differently from the rest of the world, and that's a good thing. But this can be challenging for your children for a couple of reasons. First, children naturally have a pretty good sense of what is right and what is wrong. Since we are made in the image of God, our conscience is shaped by a general sense of morality and kids innately know that things like hitting or lying are bad. That's why they look guilty when they have done one of those things. So when society blurs the lines between right and wrong, this is confusing for children and I think that this is why Isaiah 5.20 warns Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.
Leanne:You are telling your children one thing and then the world is saying something completely different, and then your children are conflicted because they have a natural desire to want to fit in. Typically, girls desire to be liked, while boys seek to belong. So when the world sends the message that fitting in is better than standing apart. Your children come home with questions much like the ones my own kids asked me as a mom. The truth found in God's word is a necessary conversation to have with your children, even though it is rarely easy. John 15, 19 says If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. But because you are not of the world but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.
Leanne:As believers, we are called to a different standard. This is the part of the Christian journey that can be difficult for you and for your children, especially with the very real possibility that they will face persecution simply because they don't play the same games or watch the same movies or participate in the same activities as everyone else movies or participate in the same activities as everyone else. Perhaps it is for this reason that our family loves Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan. When my boys were around four years old, I found a version of this classic story in a format that they could understand. Little Pilgrim's Big Journey recounts the main character, christian, and his journey of faith. Throughout his journey he is faced with many challenges and temptations, including battles with self and a fierce dragon. My children are drawn to this story because of the good versus evil theme, as well as the brave hero fighting for what is right. We keep coming back to this story over and over again because the lessons covered in this series apply to so much happening in our world today, and every time we read these books, my kids understand just a bit more about the importance of walking in the light, of walking in the light.
Leanne:As a parent, it is never easy to see your children struggle with these conflicting thoughts and feelings, and it is certainly not easy to answer their questions on the spot either. So, as with most things regarding teaching our children, anything, it has to start with you. You need to be a student of the Word first and foremost. If you are going to teach your children to live according to God's standards, then you need to know what His standards are. And the best way to know His standards is to know who God is, and not just know His rules, so that you can tell your children something like well, we don't play that game because the Bible says it's bad. You need to understand the heart behind God's design so that you can help them think critically about why they can or cannot play or watch certain things. Now you, as a parent, can forbid your children from playing certain games or watching certain movies or listening to certain types of music, and then that child can grow up and decide to play, watch or listen to it anyway. It takes more work and the training requires more effort, but raising your children to be discerning is worth the sacrifice, so that one day, when they are faced with the temptation to fit in or stand apart, they boldly choose to remain in the light.
Leanne:It is also important for you to be informed as a parent. It is tempting, as a Christian parent, to simply ignore all the pop culture fads. I know that there was a season in my life when I didn't even want to consider any of the chaos that our world was calling cool, but then my darling started asking those questions and I knew I needed to be prepared. The world is after the innocence of our children, and you and I need to be willing to stand up and fight for them, while teaching them how to fight right alongside of us. I highly recommend books like Mama Bear, apologetics when Culture Hates you or Toxic Empathy to get you started. All of these books are linked in the show notes if you would like to check them out later.
Leanne:You also have a responsibility to your children to address their questions and engage in those tough conversations. One way you can invite these discussions into your home is by asking critical thinking questions. Why do you think that video game or show or movie is popular? What message is it sending? Is this an example of evil being portrayed as good and good portrayed as bad? Why do you think that's the case? Does this game or movie or music encourage you to seek what is?
Leanne:It is important to acknowledge that choosing to walk in the light and say no to certain things isn't easy and may even make them feel left out. It is very important that you address that head on. Let them know what to expect. Share examples from your own life about when you felt left out for choosing the right thing. When you felt left out for choosing the right thing. Look for examples from books like Pilgrim's Progress, or even Bible characters like Daniel or Jeremiah or Esther. Remind your children what Psalm 84, 11, says For the Lord, god is a sun and shield. The Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly, and then you can discuss alternatives that are appropriate for your family.
Leanne:For example, when my son asked about video games, we talked about why certain games blur the lines between what is good and what is evil, and then we talked about video games that offer a better alternative. So I'm not saying no to all video games and all the fun, but we are using discernment to choose what we play wisely. When my daughter asked about the movies and the music that everyone at school was talking about, we looked at the lyrics of some of the songs together. Simply reading the words revealed so many hidden messages that were clearly not rooted in the truth of God's word, and this led to a wonderful conversation about how misleading a catchy beat can be. It is my prayer that this leads her to research popular trends on her own before blindly following along with the crowd.
Leanne:And when my children comment on why other people do certain things or decorate their front yards in a certain way, I simply remind them that as believers, we are held to a different standard and we can look away from the things of the world. Like it says in Psalm 119, 37, of the world. Like it says in Psalm 119, 37,. Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things and give me life. In your ways. We cannot control what other people do, but we can control what we give our attention to.
Leanne:Raising discerning kids in our world today is no easy task and you likely won't always get it right, and for this reason I find comfort in James 1.5, which says If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all, without reproach, and it will be given to him. God stands in the gap for us when we fall short or when we are confused about what is right and what is wrong. Thankfully, god's word is clear and we can always turn to him to guide our path. Psalm 119, 105 says your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. So the next time your child approaches you with a question about a video game or a show or a cultural trend, say a quick prayer and then ask them what they think God's perspective might be. Choose to be intentional with these conversations and continue to embrace excellence in all that you say and do for the glory of God.
Leanne:To close this episode today, I want to read a portion of Psalm 119 to you. This psalm is rich and full of so many reminders that the truth we seek can be found in the pages of scripture, psalm 119, 9-16. How can a young man keep his way pure by guarding it according to your word? With my whole heart I seek you. Let me not wander from your commandments. I have stored up your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you, o Lord. Teach me your statutes With my lips. I declare all the rules of your mouth. In the way of your testimonies, I delight as much as in all the riches. I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. I will delight in your statutes. I will not forget your word.