Whatever Is Excellent with Leanne Tuggle

58: Choosing A Calm (Countercultural) Christmas

• Leanne • Season 4 • Episode 58

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What if the most memorable part of December isn’t the packed calendar but the quiet moments at home? We open the bins of decorations and talk about a countercultural Christmas built on simple traditions, secret generosity, and a steady gaze on Jesus. From watercolor afternoons and gingerbread chaos to favorite stories read by the tree, we reframe “holiday magic” as presence over performance.

Together, we push back against the cultural current that glorifies busy. We walk through practical ways to reject the rush—starting with the planner—by choosing one or two aligned events and protecting unhurried evenings. We share our “one thing” daily focus, why Mary’s habit of treasuring and pondering still speaks, and how morning time with Scripture resets the heart. Then we step into giving: a humble wooden manger that fills one straw at a time for unprompted kindness, neighbor cookie deliveries that light up a block, and ideas for quiet service that doesn’t ask for credit. We also rethink kids’ gifts with a simple three-gift approach that calms expectations and elevates gratitude.

At the center is Christ. We reflect on John 1:14 and the joy of Advent practices that trace the story from creation to the cradle, keeping Jesus in view even as we enjoy seasonal fun. Expect Scripture anchors, family-tested rhythms, and gentle challenges to prepare hearts more than homes. If you’re hungry for a slower season, clearer priorities, and a home that feels like peace, this conversation is your starting place.

If this episode helps you breathe easier this December, share it with a friend, subscribe for more, and leave a quick review to help others find the show.

Recommended Resources:

The Giving Manger

The Wonder of the Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp

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Leanne:

Over the weekend, I told my three children that it was time to decorate for Christmas. And amongst the squeals of delight, they had questions, because of course they did. Will we get to do all those fun activities again this year, like the watercolor painting and the gingerbread house? And can we read all of our favorite Christmas stories without cocoa by the Christmas tree? While that child paused to take a breath, another question surfaced. When will we deliver all the cookies to the neighbors? I can't wait for that. And then another question. Mama, can we set out that pop-up Advent tree and put the ornaments on with the story of Jesus? I smiled with every question launched in my direction as each one was evidence that the traditions our family treasures most are the simple, unassuming things that we can do right at home. As I opened the holiday bins full of decorations, I was struck by how a calm and peaceful Christmas is actually a bit countercultural. Now, please don't misunderstand, my kids are very excited about the presents and all the holiday events and all the candy and treats that they'll find in their stockings. But I have noticed that when asked about their favorite Christmas traditions, it's usually the little things that they remember best. It's the opportunities to give back to our community that bring the biggest smiles. And it's the story of Jesus from creation to cradle that inspires the most wonder and joy. So as we enter into this season that tends to ramp up and rush, perhaps we can choose the path less traveled and instead slow down to savor. What would it look like to embrace a counter-cultural Christmas? There are three things that culture in general gets caught up in during the month of December: the hustle and bustle, gift-buying galore, and all things Santa. In fact, a quick Google search for the three things most associated with Christmas showed that it was the Christmas tree, gift giving, and Santa Claus. Those were the top contenders. And to be honest, there's nothing inherently wrong with any of those three things. But the fact that there was no mention of Jesus is a bit wild to me. So for the purpose of this episode today, I want to take a look at how we can, as women of excellence, encourage our families to reject the rush, to choose giving over getting, and to keep Jesus at the center of our celebrations. And perhaps the way in which we approach this holiday will be a witness to others that there is hope available to them in Christ too. And maybe we will be inspired to prepare our hearts more than our homes for Christmas this year. It's no secret that our world glorifies busy. And for women in December, it is almost like a special badge of honor. We are busy planning parties, attending parties, shopping for the perfect gifts, making dozens and dozens of cookies, hauling our kids to and fro all of the fun festivities. We bribe them with candy canes and we take pictures of everything so that we can prove what awesome memory-making super women we are. And then we get to the end of December and we simply cannot even anymore. By the time Christmas Day rolls around, we are burnt out and weary. Another Christmas has come and gone, and all that is left is a living room trashed with wrapping paper. There has got to be a better way, right? Jesus says in Matthew 11, 28 and 30, Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. I cannot imagine the Savior who says these words is pleased with our performance-based approach to Christmas. So slowing down during this season offers more space for reflection and gratitude and worship. I don't want to be so busy doing all the things, even if they're good things, and then have no room for Jesus. For me, and I'm guessing that this is true for many of you too, this making space for the Lord begins on the pages of my planner. I could very easily fill every day with some exciting event that happens only in December. And yet, I am learning from my children, honestly, that their favorite activities are the ones that they get to do at home. They don't need to go to every Christmas play or holiday parade or breakfast with Santa event. They would be just as happy reading all of their favorite stories by the Christmas tree or helping me make pancakes with red and green sprinkles. For some reason, we believe the lie that it is up to us to make Christmas magical and memorable, and therefore the bigger and more extravagant the better. Our families don't actually need or even want any of that. So this year, choose maybe one or two special events to attend as a family. Look for the festivities that align best with the things that your family values most, and then protect the rest of the days for time at home. Time to simply be present and enjoy one another. I also really encourage you to guard your time with the Lord in this month. It is so easy to push that quiet time aside because there is so much to do. And yet, I would ask, so much to do for who? Don't allow the world's definition of what a magical Christmas should look like dictate how you choose to celebrate. My favorite verse in the Christmas story is Luke 2, 19. And it says, But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. Give yourself time to ponder Jesus and store up these precious memories in your heart too. Don't wait until December 26th to reflect on the goodness and love of God. Psalm 27:4 says, One thing have I asked of the Lord that I will seek after, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. I want to invite you to think about the one thing, the one thing that maybe is most important for each day. Make sure that Jesus is that first thing that you reach for every morning, and then focus on one thing, one thing to give your attention to every day, not all the things. And I also want you to think about this. What can you let go of this Christmas so that you can make space for Jesus? Now, when it comes to gift giving during the holidays, I think most of us know what the Bible says in Acts 20, 35, that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Unfortunately, our culture has twisted this give and serve and love freely to instead emphasize accumulation, comparison, and trying to impress others. And then we miss out on the blessing of giving when we start expecting something in return. And what about other types of gifts, things that cannot be purchased in a store? It's honestly easier to buy someone a gift. It's harder to give your time, attention, compassion, or even your forgiveness. One of our favorite traditions in our home is our giving manger. It's a simple wooden manger that we keep on a bookshelf in our living room. And the goal is to fill the manger with straw so that baby Jesus has a soft place to lay his head by Christmas morning. For each unprompted act of kindness that our family does, a piece of straw goes into the manger. And this is an opportunity for all of us to look for ways that we can give to others in selfless ways. So maybe my daughter washes the dishes for me. Or one of my boys leaves the bigger cookie for his brother. When we look past the shiny wrapping paper, we begin to see so many ways that we can bless and serve each other that don't require an actual gift to be purchased. And my kids absolutely love delivering cookies to our neighbors. This is their favorite activity, and it's the one that they will ask about persistently all month long. We prepare boxes full of cookies, and then we go door to door, spreading joy by delivering the boxes. And even though they don't expect to get anything in return, the smiles that these boxes bring to our neighbors is what my kids cannot wait for, and they will talk about for weeks afterwards. Matthew 6, 3 and 4 says, But when you give, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret, and your father who sees in secret will reward you. This is a good reminder that our gift giving isn't intended to impress or prove how amazing we are. It is simply an opportunity to share love and joy. Look for ways that you can give in your community. Whether you donate toys to the nearby foster care center, or maybe you bring a meal over to an elderly neighbor. Or maybe something that I am really looking forward to doing when my kids get a little bit older is signing up to help at a local soup kitchen. They're a little bit too young yet, but pretty soon we'll be able to do that. And I just love that this gives us an opportunity to practice giving it generously simply because it brings delight. The last thing I want to say about gift giving is to consider what you are buying for your children. My daughter's first Christmas, I remember, was very overwhelming. There were simply too many presents. She's the first grandchild on both sides of the family, and everyone was really excited to get her all the things. And she, I remember she ended up needing to take a nap halfway through opening the gifts because it was just so much. And she ended up only playing with like half the toys. I know some people like to follow the three-gift rule, like something to wear, something to read, or something to want that something that you want. And I think that that's a really great strategy for really thinking about, you know, just buying three things for your kids. And I and I I also like that three-gift idea. However, we was to kind of do it in a little bit different way. I just ask my children, since they're a little bit older now, to think of three things that they would really like. Within reason, of course. So it doesn't necessarily have to be something to wear or read or that kind of thing, but just three things that they would really enjoy having. And so this means, because it's just three things, they really consider carefully and they choose wisely. And as some of you may know, we don't celebrate Santa Claus in our home. So they know that these gifts are coming from mom and dad, and they're very thankful for those. On Christmas morning, they know that there will be three gifts to open, and it's simple, but the excitement and the anticipation is still palpable. They, there's a bit of this assurance. They know that they're going to have three gifts that they're really excited about coming, and so they stop worrying about it. It's not something that they're really fixated on all for the month of December. Yes, they're super excited for the gifts, but they're not overly obsessing about it because it's like assurance. They know they're going to get great gifts and then they move on. With all of these things considered, I want us to think about how we can reflect on Christ-like generosity through quiet, unseen acts of love this Christmas. And speaking of Christ, even though the word Christ is found at the beginning of Christmas, Santa schedules and stuff tends to crowd out our reason for the season. John 1, 14 says, and the word became flesh and dwelt among us. We celebrate Christmas because of Emmanuel, which means God with us. Jesus gave up his heavenly splendor to come to earth, to live a simple and obedient life so that he could take our place on the cross. Christmas is a celebration of the fulfillment of God's promise to send us a Savior. We love our Wonder of the Greatest Gift, Advent Devotional by Anne Voskamp. I will link it in the show notes. Each day in December, we explore part of the story of Jesus from creation all the way through to his birth. Every passage of scripture and short story points to our need for a savior. And my kids love putting the little ornaments on the pop-up tree in the center of the book. These simple Advent devotions help to keep our focus on Jesus in the midst of a very distracting season. And while we still love to watch the movies with Santa Claus and we even read a few stories that feature this jolly man, we choose to keep Jesus in the forefront of our hearts and minds. When we slow down and take time to prepare him room in our hearts, we are better able to worship our Savior and fill our gatherings with gratitude. This year, I invite you to think about when others look at how your family celebrates, would they see Christ reflected in your traditions? Romans 12, 2 says, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. When you live your life differently, when you choose to celebrate Christmas in a slower, simpler, holier way, you are sharing the good news of Jesus. This Christmas season, reject the rush, choose giving over getting, and keep Christ in the center of your celebration. As it says in Isaiah 9:6, for unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulders, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. To close this episode, I want to read Psalm 131 to you. This short and sweet Psalm is a beautiful reminder to calm and quiet our souls before the Lord. When the world around us is focused on rushing and striving, we can enjoy peaceful rest in our God. Let us choose to embrace contentment and humility this Christmas. O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore.