71: Raising Godly Kids with Christina Holdridge (Parenting Pointers Part 4)

What if the most powerful parenting tool isn’t a tactic but a transforming love you’ve actually tasted? We sit down with Christina Holdridge to explore how a living, growing relationship with Jesus becomes the well that overflows into our homes—especially when discipline, fear, or comparison threaten to take over. With three daughters and years of mentoring women, Christina offers grounded wisdom that feels both practical and deeply hopeful.

We dig into a clear, biblical vision of grace and truth: naming sin without shame and showing a specific path toward forgiveness and change. Christina explains why behavior charts can’t reach the heart, how to tailor correction across different temperaments, and what it looks like to apologize to your kids while still leading with confidence. She shares the turning point of valuing each child’s unique design—energy, sensitivities, motivations—and the simple tools that reduce nagging and build trust. Expect real examples, not platitudes, and a tone that meets you right where you are.

The heart of our talk aims at the worries we rarely say out loud: the fear of failing, the ache for guarantees, and the pressure to control outcomes. Christina brings those fears into the light and anchors them in God’s unchanging character. Culture shifts, but Christ does not. The God who pursued people across Scripture is the same One pursuing our kids today. That truth reframes progress as slow, steady formation—seen in daily repentance, consistent boundaries, and small seeds of joy that take root over time. If you’re craving clarity, courage, and a gentler way to walk with your family, this conversation will steady your steps and rekindle your hope.

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Transcript

Leanne Tuggle 0:51

Friends, you are in for such a treat today. I am so excited to be joined here by Christina Holdridge. She is on the show with me today. And no doubt her words of wisdom are going to bless you and encourage you, especially as we are talking about parenting and motherhood. Christina is invested in the mission of raising godly children and equipping other women to be able to do the same. And so she is someone that I greatly admire and respect. And Christina, thank you so much for being here today.

Christina Holdridge 1:27

Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much for having me, Lee Ann. It's an honor. And yeah, I'm excited to get to be connected with your podcast. I know so many girls who are listening, women who are listening. So that's it's fun to be a part of your little piece of the world.

Christina’s Family And Faith Foundations

Leanne Tuggle 1:44

Oh, good. Thank you so much. Yeah. Well, to start, can you tell us just a little bit about your family and how the Lord has shaped your heart for raising children who love and follow Jesus?

Christina Holdridge 1:56

Yeah. Yeah. A little bit about me. My husband and I have been married for 24 years. We have three girls. Our oldest is 22 and just recently graduated from college. She lives not at home. And then our middle daughter is in her second year of college. She's 20 and also not living at home. So our youngest daughter is 18 and in her senior year of high school. So we are about to be empty nesters here pretty soon, sadly. Um, but we're trying to get ready for that. That's just a little bit about the makeup of our family, the short answer of how God has shaped my heart to raise my girls to love and to follow Jesus. I think the short answer is just honestly that as I grew into adulthood, and I mean, my quick story is that I was raised in a Christian home and followed Jesus, not perfectly, of course, but follow Jesus. But as I grew in maturity and just came to love him more as that like Ephesians 3.18 thing happened where God opened my eyes to see him more and more and to understand the depths and the width and the height of his love for me, I just like wanted that so much for the people around me and especially for my own kids. It was like, I have this beautiful, wonderful realization of who God really is, and I am so desperate for you to know it too. So it was, I guess the the short answer is just like in having God show me his love for us and for me, I it was just like the natural outflow was that I wanted my girls to know the same.

Leanne Tuggle 3:36

I love that. I hear you saying that it really has started with you, with your own walk with the Lord, that your heart was walking with him. And so then it's like uh out of an overflow of your love for God was what was spilling over to your girls and almost like modeling for them what it means to have a relationship with the Lord.

Christina Holdridge 3:58

Yeah, totally. I mean, it's kind of like when you are, I was saying this to a group of people recently, like when you're really excited about something, you want people to like I personally want people to appreciate it on the same level as I do. Like if if it's like a flavor of ice cream. I mean, it doesn't, it could be like the smallest thing, but to have God like show you um who he is and how good he is, like for your eyes to begin to understand that it's like I can't imagine not wanting my kids to know that and and walk in that truth.

Overflowing Faith Into Our Kids

Leanne Tuggle 4:31

So I love that. That's really cool. Well, I I know that you have spoken about grace and truth a lot just with the women that you mentor or talk to. And so, what do you think that that looks like practically in like the everyday moments, like with discipline or conflict or correction? Like, what does it look like to parent with grace and truth?

Christina Holdridge 4:53

Yeah, that has been so important to me in parenting. And I think I got a lot of help along the way. And I can think of like some pivotal moments where different books and people came alongside me to sort of paint the picture for me of what that looked like a little more than maybe I experienced growing up or I just knew in my own mind. But to me, I think like before I sort of had a vision for it, like like saw it in books and people, other people's lives, I think I kind of did what a lot of other people do and had a misdefinition of those words, what grace is and what truth is. And I think it's easy to kind of think of grace and parenting equating to being like a permissive or like a super nice parent. And then the truth side of parenting is like when you really hold your children to consequences or you're really firm in your expectations and your follow-through. And um I think also it's easy to think that that then those two things are almost in competition with one another or like can't happen simultaneously, grace and truth, in the way that I feel like those words are defined according to scripture, and then seeing it fleshed out in the lives of other people that I have watched parent. For me, parenting with grace and truth means kind of showing our kids the reality of their sin, even pointing it out verbally, but then showing them the way forward with Jesus, both for forgiveness and for the possibility to change. So grace and truth, it's like all simultaneously truth, like showing them, yeah, you really are, you really do have sin. Sin really exists in you, and here's an evidence of that sin. But there's a way forward, both for forgiveness and for change. Like Jesus could could free you from this over time. So that's what parenting with grace and truth means for me, or like for us in our home.

Parenting With Grace And Truth

Leanne Tuggle 6:53

I love that. I love how you just describe that too, because I think I have also fallen into that trap of thinking grace means permissive and then struggling with that. And so I love how you just explained that and how they go together and that it is the most loving thing you can do is point out the sin that your children have. But I love that you said, and then show them the way forward. Because I think we all need that. We all get really stuck in the like, I'm so terrible. And they need that handhold to get out of the mire and the muck and be like, no, but look, this is the path that you get to take and look where it leads us. So I love how you just described that. That was so great.

Christina Holdridge 7:36

Yeah, I think kids really need to know that there is the possibility for them to be different, like that their hearts can feel different. Like that is the beauty of the gospel to me. God isn't looking for outward behavior modification, but that like that matters to him, our behavior, but that he can get inside of our hearts and change what we love and change what we want and and make it into the things that are the best things for us. So to give kids the hope of that possibility, I think is so beautiful when when they're humble and they're in the place of realizing their sin, you know. And that doesn't always happen. So, yeah, it doesn't. And sometimes part of things, like, and here we are again.

Leanne Tuggle 8:22

No, I think that's so good. Well, I'm curious to know. I know you have three girls, and I know that they are each very different. I actually really only know one of your girls very well, but so every child is so uniquely designed by God. How have you learned to parent each of your girls according to their unique, maybe specific needs or temperaments, or even how they're wired?

Christina Holdridge 8:45

Yeah, it was definitely a learning process. Somehow I thought that like me being a girl and then having girls, like that there would be like some measure of like knowledge and understanding that just came naturally and that was like the same across the board with all girls. And but that that like image was very quickly dismantled when I had a second daughter. And even from day one, it was like, oh my gosh, just as a baby, and then a toddler, and then a preschool, like you are so different from your sister, and then your daughter came along, and it was like, and all of them are so different from me, even though I can see little glimpses of myself in times. So I think I needed at first to like be okay with that. There in order to parent them uniquely, in some ways, obviously, you have like across the board standards and tools in some ways, but like in order to parent them uniquely, I had to embrace that it was okay that they were all very different and value that they were all very different. And actually, on if I'm honest, that was a learning curve for me of not wanting them to all respond in the same ways. I don't, it's not like I wanted them to like look the same way, but or like have the same hobbies, but I I think I it it took me a while to be able to like affectionately embrace the differences between all three of them. Um, I had I I feel like uh I keep saying this, but books and community helped me a lot with that. Um Sally Clarkson books gave me a vision for like each kid is uniquely designed and different for a reason. Like I needed someone, I needed that voice in my life at the early stages. Um, and then so I needed someone to to help me embrace the beauty of it.

Leanne Tuggle 10:39

Yeah.

Christina Holdridge 10:40

And then I needed to be both with books and in community, just like seeing how that fleshed out. Like, okay, you have a kid that's time blind too. How do we do this? You know, like what are you doing? That's not just like grinding them and nagging them all the time. Like, how do you productively coach them along? You know, I needed other women to help see how to parent in all these different unique parts of my girl. So that's sort of a long answer, but no, no, I think it makes sense.

Leanne Tuggle 11:10

And I think it's very affirming just to know that other women also kind of struggle with like, oh, they're so different. Like, how do I how do I parent them? And I I don't know about you, but I also struggle sometimes with their awareness of how it's different for each of them because they're so different. So that's an area that's also hard to, but I think it's just good to know that, like, and like you mentioned community or other books and that kind of thing, that we're all kind of going through that same thing and that it's okay to need it to be a learning curve and to be able to value each of your kids individually. And I mean, it's a good thing. We're not raising robots, so absolutely that they're different.

Hope Beyond Behavior Change

Christina Holdridge 11:52

Yeah. And I think that shocked me that I didn't know that at first. I didn't already operate in that way. That's new information for me. God made the body of Christ, the hands, the feet, all the things. Like that wasn't new information for me, but like seeing it lived out in a family day to day, it was like, oh, I'm really struggling with valuing these parts of that child. They just came that way. God made them that way. How I need to embrace them and accept them and not that there's not room for growth and change. Each kid is on a progressive track of change too, if they're they're humble and and coming under the Lord, you know. But and our job as like coach and parent to help train that change. But anyway, yeah, I think I was surprised that it didn't come naturally to me to just totally appreciate all the differences.

Leanne Tuggle 13:08

Right. Yeah. Well, what do you, in your experiences, what do you feel God has taught you through motherhood? And like I know I I've mentioned this before, and I've heard you say this too. Like, our motherhood and raising children is a very like is is very sanctifying. Like, how would you say, in what ways have your children become instruments of like sanctification in your life?

Christina Holdridge 13:33

And and that's a funny thing, right? Because it's like it's not, it's not because they're so awful that like we're growing. It's more like, oh, I just did not realize how much I had to grow. Right. I want to like remind everybody who might be listening that that growth is such a gift from the Lord. That sanctification process, even if it's hard or it even hurts a little bit because it's rubbing us in a certain direction that is uncomfortable for us, the the outcome of it, like first of all, it's in the hands of a loving, loving father, and that the outcome that he's producing is for our good and for the good of the people around us and not for anything else. So it's like a good thing to be sanctified and that God it's God's love towards us to not leave us where we're at through my children, through my girls. The Lord has taught me that I don't know everything. Yep, that I'm not nearly as gentle or compassionate or patient as I probably thought that I was, or I definitely thought that I was, that I think I've learned how quick I am to judge and to assume. I think I've learned, like we were just talking about, that I undervalued the unique differences and God made people to be. So these are all these are just some of the areas that the Lord has like highlighted in me. And then over time has I'm hoping, I think he has matured me to grow in those areas through the direct result of being my girl's mom.

Valuing Each Child’s Design

Leanne Tuggle 15:14

Yeah. It reminds me of like sandpaper, like you know, like that it's absolutely kind of painful and stuff, but that the result is this beautiful like table, right? That you have to really work at that. And so that sandpaper relationship with the Lord that, like, oh, this doesn't feel good, but it it is good. The outcome is beautiful and good later. Absolutely. That's good. Well, I know many women who are listening here who are moms, there's there often feels like this pressure that we have to get it right when it comes to our kids, that we we don't want to mess up. How do you encourage women who feel like maybe they're failing or that they feel like they're falling short when it comes to parenting?

Christina Holdridge 15:56

Yeah. I mean, I've been there. I feel it all the time, even now. And so that's a very real and challenging feeling. I think it comes from a good place of in general, of wanting to do our job well, wanting our kids to to know that they're loved, wanting our kids to develop like it comes from a good place, but I think in general that that um pressure to get it right also comes from wrong assumption that we're in control. So the reality is that we do get it wrong a lot. Yes. So there's that, right? Yeah. And I know that's not like exactly encouraging, but the reality that, like, man, we just like we have to be honest with that and go before the Lord and just say, like, yeah, I need your grace so much. I need your forgiveness, I need your strength, I need your you to change me. Like, I really do get it wrong a lot. But that also we're not like we are so important in our kids' lives, but we're not so important in our kids' lives that God isn't more important, that God's not in control, that God's not over, and that God is not moving and working both through us, but beyond us and above us. So I think there is like a need for us to not try to live in a world where we think we're not like to not just be like, oh honey, you aren't getting it wrong. You're always doing it right, and and and it doesn't matter. Like, no, we do. We need to be honest in where we are either messing up or where we're just weak and ask the Lord. But I think also we need to remember that God is so much bigger, that he loves our kids so much more, that he more for them than even we are, and that he's active in their lives and in our lives and doing something that is both with us but also beyond us. And and I think sometimes we can feel like we're failing if we're looking at like evidences in our own kids' lives. Sometimes we feel like we're failing because we know it, like we saw ourselves just like lose patience or make a bad decision or whatever. But sometimes we're looking at where we want our kids to be and they're not there yet, and that can also make us feel like a failure. And I think to remember that God's work in general is such a slow and overtime work, both in us. So there's grace for us that God is slowly changing us, like Second Corinthians 3 18, over time from glory to glory. So he's making us into who he wants us to become slowly. It's a slow work, but also he's doing that in our kids' lives. But that it's a slow work, it's so progressive, it's so over time. And just because our kids are modeling behavior that we feel like we've corrected a hundred times and they're not there yet, doesn't mean that they won't get there and doesn't mean that we're failing. It's God is doing that same slow, progressive work in them that over time will bear fruit. Um, that we might so if you're feeling like a failure because of your kids' behavior or because of things you want to see in your kids, I would just say like it doesn't mean that God's not at work, right? But that God's work is most often very slow and over time.

Leanne Tuggle 19:31

That is it's that's very such good wisdom there because I I'm just feeling like even just convicted and humbled by that now. Cause I, as you're saying that, I'm thinking about how much I want, or maybe even am unintentionally seeking the approval of having, like, so that I can check a box, like, oh, I did it. That kid's good. They're on the right track. Okay, next one. Like, let's get like I really want that. But like with that slow process, like it's their entire lifetime. Like, I I don't get to be off the clock or be like, okay, I did my job. Like, this is that's part of being a mom, is like you're a mom forever, and you get to be there to support them and encourage them, even as your girls are leaving the home. Like they're they're still going to come to you and seek you and want that relationship with you and need your advice or whatever. It looks different, but it's you're still there to help lead them and guide them. So it that is such good wisdom because it is very like humbling to think about. Like it is slow work. It's and it's it's been slow work in myself. So why would I expect them to get it faster? Exactly. A hundred percent. Well, I have like so many other questions that I want to ask, but I'm one of the things that I think comes up a lot when I'm talking to women, and it's kind of along these same lines, is there moms that they just desperately want their children to follow Jesus, but they feel kind of afraid because there is so much that we can't control. Like, what would you say to that mom who is feeling out of control when it comes to the direction that her children are walking?

Community, Books, And Practical Tools

Christina Holdridge 21:02

Yeah, I mean, I understand that as well. Our our desire for our kids to know and love Jesus is so, especially when it comes from a play when it's not because we want them to like have some moral outward behavior, but when it comes from like, I I know this is the real true living God, you know, like it comes from that motivation, it can be so scary and so just like worrisome to imagine that they won't love and follow Jesus themselves. But I think that as much as those feelings are real and understandable and the world is out there and full of messages trying to pull them away from directly and indirectly, I think that ultimately we're not in control. And we have to understand that. But we I guess what I would say is the the greatest comfort for me in that process and in wrestling with that idea and that fear has been in trying to depend on who God says he is. Because I can't tell myself and I can't tell other moms out there, like, no, there's a guarantee. Like if you do these things in your home, if you parent in this way, if you cater to their personalities, if you make sure that you always have love and you always have grace and you're full of you help them excel in their hobbies. I mean, like whatever the thing is, you know, like there is no formula for helping your kids know and love Jesus. And yet there is absolutely this active, faithful participation role that we have as moms and parents to cultivate like a heart and an environment that puts Jesus on display to show them how wonderful He is. But we can't do the work of ultimately taking them and forcing them to embrace that. Right. That is a God thing. That is a God thing that He opens their eyes to see it. That is a then thing in some way, shape, or form to choose it. What do you do with that fear? And I think that the the thing that I do when I'm Wrestling with those fears is fall back on the character and the nature of who God has shown himself to be. Yes. That would be that he's trustworthy, that he loves us so much that he would die for us and rise again and make a way for us to be with him, that he held nothing back from wanting to be with us as humanity, me as Christina Holdridge. So wouldn't he, why would he withhold anything from getting at the hearts of my girls or these women at the hearts of their kids? Like I just have to go back to trusting in who he is. I have to immerse myself in the stories of scripture and go, like, you're faithful, you're good, you're chasing after people over and over. The very people that seem like they're not walking towards you, you get a hold of their hearts. Like I have to remind myself myself of those stories when I'm wrestling with that fear because there isn't a formula.

Leanne Tuggle 24:11

Right. Oh, I love that so much. And I think it's just a good reminder because I I think we uh you hear all the time about women coming home from the hospital with their babies, and they're like, Where's the manual? What do I do? You know, and then it just it continues as we go along this journey. It's hard. But God is so faithful, and I think that's a good reminder to always come back to who he is, and who he is defines who we are in him. That's like a really that that is where we can find that courage to keep going and to keep praying over our children and all those things. All those things hard. Well, last thing I want to ask you as we kind of wrap it up here is if you could leave these listeners with one encouragement or reminder as they parent in this season, what would you want them to hold on to?

Motherhood As Sanctification

Christina Holdridge 25:02

Yeah, I mean, I would want them to I think I see a lot of mamas and I understand it struggle with fear, especially in this time in history and this place that we live in in this world. And so, like tied in with what what we were just talking about, and then like wanting so desperately for your kids to walk with Jesus and know him, and then the fear of the culture at large. I think the thing that I want moms to know more than anything is that God is the same God he's always been. He's the same God he's always been, he's no different, he's the same God that rescued the Israelites out of Egypt. He's as mighty and powerful to save as he was when there was like a revival in the 70s or in story after story in scripture as he is now, that nothing about him has changed. He's so alive, he's so mighty, he's so powerful. And so it's not that our fears aren't real, but that like in light of his might and his power and his love and his character and his nature, there's nothing he can't do. And I so I guess to remind moms that God has not changed and the world has changed, and there are scary things about it, but that God himself is the same, and that he's just as mighty and powerful and pursuing of the people today as he always has, and he's chasing after your kiddos. And this cult, he this culture is not too hard for that him to get through. The messages that they might hear are not insurmountable in light of his love and his power and his might, that he is the same rescuing, pursuing God he's always been. And so there's a lot of comfort in that.

Leanne Tuggle 26:56

Amen. I mean, it all comes comes back to him and who God is, and that when we hold on to that, then we can hold on to the hands of our kids and we can continue to lead them and guide them. Oh, so so good. Christina, thank you so much for sharing this wisdom with us and just from your experiences and just from your ministry with women. Thank you so much for sharing all of this with us.

Christina Holdridge 27:20

Absolutely. It's been such a treat to be here today. Thanks for having me.