74: Building A Legacy That Lasts with Mike & Diane Cooley

Want a picture of legacy that’s honest, practical, and warm enough to taste like blueberry muffins? We sit down with our neighbors, Mike and Diane, a couple married 54 years and following Jesus for more than four decades, to explore how ordinary days can shape a family for generations. From the first welcome with a pan of brownies to a lifetime of small choices—prayer at dawn, Scripture at breakfast, flexibility when family calls—they show how faith becomes a living inheritance.

We trace Mike’s shift from “being a good person is enough” to a clear encounter with grace that reoriented his purpose as a husband, father, and now grandfather. Together, Mike and Diane unpack their core rhythm—Word before world—and how starting the day with God steadies motives, calms anxiety, and guides decisions. They share how Scripture became their anchor and map, whether through picture Bibles with grandkids, Adventures in Odyssey on road trips, or reading Little Pilgrim’s Progress around a campfire. As the grandkids grew, the tools matured too: apologetics that build confidence, backpacking lessons that turned trail cairns into spiritual markers, and quiet courage to nudge loved ones back onto God’s path.

You’ll hear real stories of planning and patience, fruit that sometimes blooms years later, and the art of speaking truth with gentleness. We talk discernment—when to speak, when to listen, when to simply pray—and how to stay relevant across generations by learning their interests and protecting unhurried conversations. Mike and Diane also step outside comfort zones, from campus ministry weekends to reading books they once avoided, all to build bridges that carry love and truth.

If you’re a grandparent or mentor wondering how to stay available, adaptable, and fruitful, this conversation offers clear practices, tender encouragement, and a hopeful vision: the mission doesn’t retire, it refines. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a lift, and leave a review with the small daily habit you’ll start this week to invest in your legacy.

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Transcript

Neighbors With Brownies, Legacy On The Table

Leanne Tuggle 0:51

Friends, today I am so thrilled to introduce you to my neighbors, Mike and Diane Cooley. One of the one of the things that we always pray about as a family, since we have to move frequently, is that God will place us near other believers. And God is so good and faithful. When we first moved here to California, Mike and Diane were the very first to welcome us to the neighborhood with some homemade brownies. And then when we saw them at church the following Sunday, we were absolutely delighted what a joy it is to live near this God-fearing couple. And I am so excited for you to get to hear from them today. I cannot think of anyone more equipped to talk to us about what it means to leave a legacy than this incredible couple. So without further ado, welcome to the show, neighbors. Thank you, Ian, for having us. It's a great honor. Oh, good. I'm so glad. So to start, can you tell us a little bit about who you are and even what leaving a Christian legacy means to you?

Diane Cooley 1:56

Well, first of all, we're a retired couple and we've been married for 54 years. We've been Christians for 42 of those years. We're parents of two grown sons, two daughters in love, and five grandchildren ranging from middle school to college. In our lives, because God is so good, he gives us opportunities to point to him and to speak the truth of his word into the lives of those around us. This is our mission, being God's ambassadors and representing him well, because we exist to bring glory to God.

Mike’s Conversion And Calling To Legacy

Mike Cooley 2:35

A little bit about me. Growing up, I went to church on Sundays with my parents. I was active in our youth group, and I was a Boy Scout and I had my God and country badge. But I didn't know Jesus Christ. I didn't grasp the eternal importance of his sacrifice on the cross to save me from the penalty of my sins. After Diane and I were married, I got a job as a firefighter. We bought a house, same house we're in now. Life was good. And my job gave me the opportunity to help people. I thought, what could be better? When our sons were young, we were invited by a friend to their church. There was a guest speaker who talked about the trap of thinking you are a good person and that will get you into heaven. Until that day, I thought being a good person was enough. The speaker quoted Romans 3 12, There is no one good, not even one, and he looked right at me. Prompted by him, I really looked into the Bible for the first time. After coming to faith in Jesus Christ, God showed me through his word and his spirit the eternal importance of my family and all people walking with the Lord and staying on his path all their days. That's the Christian legacy we want to leave.

Leanne Tuggle 3:55

I love that. And I I love that the Lord found you just in the middle of your ordinary life and was redirected the path that you were on. And it wasn't a bad path, but he redirected you so that you could leave this Christian legacy for your for your family. And I just think that is so beautiful. So at this stage in your life, you mentioned being retired and you are grandparents. How has God shaped your understanding of your calling? Has your sense of purpose shifted or maybe deepened as the years have gone on?

Diane Cooley 4:34

Well, in this season of our lives, God continues to give us opportunities to grow and share and to be used by Him. As the years have gone on, we do sense more of an urgency. His purpose for us is the same. That hasn't changed, but the how we serve and who we serve shifts with his sovereign plan and our capabilities. But we continue to be available. Also, it's so important to remember God's faithfulness in using us in the past as we go forward.

Mike Cooley 5:06

Yeah, we've definitely gone through phases where our calling has been directed. For several years, our calling was driven by the age of our sons. Whatever area of children's ministry our sons were in, we got involved. Things like Caraway Street, Junior Church, missions trips to assist new churches in putting on a vacation Bible school, a backpacking ministry, and college navigator get-togethers at Spirit West Coast out at Laguna Seca for our sons. After our sons were out of college, we continued to support and encourage them. But God gave us some new opportunities locally, like Women's Fellowship and Men's Saturday morning prayer group, or mentoring, both men and women, and serving in the church office and running the church food bank. During this time, our sons got married, started blessing us with grandchildren, and we had opportunities to be involved in their lives and slowly transitioned back to making them a priority. Our appreciation of the impact we can have in any of these callings has grown. God does amazing things when we let Him use us.

Leanne Tuggle 6:41

So you've said that your time of lovingly serving is never over. What has helped you embrace the that truth with joy rather than fatigue?

Diane Cooley 6:54

Well, loving and serving others should never end. But as we age, our service may look different depending on our limitations. And that's okay. Our purpose never changes. We're here to bring God glory. And because I'm so thankful to Jesus for the joy set before him and during the cross, with his help, I can follow his example by not complaining and embrace opportunities to serve him with joy. We can always find blessing in serving when our motive is the love of God. I love that.

Mike Cooley 7:27

Yeah, God has continued to give us opportunities to serve as we get older. That said, we have to be honest with ourselves about how often, how long, and how hard we can serve. As we've gotten older, we don't move as fast as we once did. We can't maintain a high level act high level of activity for as long as we once did. And we need a little more rest between serving opportunities that involve a lot of physical activity. It's a simple truth that as children get older, they're more active. And as we get older, we slow down. But we also recognize that our physical physical limitations do not change the need for the world and our grandchildren to hear God's truth spoken into their lives and to be strengthened and encouraged in their walk. And we're motivated to continue in this service by many, many memories of the fruit that can come from our sowing of God's word.

Leanne Tuggle 8:25

That's so good. I love that. I love that acknowledgement too, that you do slow down as you get older and that that's okay. It doesn't prohibit you from being able to serve. And even praying for your grandchildren or praying for others is such a huge act of love and service.

Mike Cooley 8:43

Amen to that.

Leanne Tuggle 8:44

Well, this whole podcast is all about excellence and showing up with excellence in the midst of your ordinary life. And you connect excellence with believing God, having faith, and depending on Him daily. How would you say that dependence practically shows up in your mornings or your prayers or even in your decisions?

Diane Cooley 9:05

Well, we can only embrace true excellence by believing the only one who is truly excellent. Yes. The way to do that is to read the Bible and ask the Holy Spirit to help us understand it. And as we get to know God in this way and obey what he says, we begin the most important relationship of our lives. Our faith in God begins to grow as we tend and nurture that relationship like we would a garden. We must be consistent. Someone once said, confidence in God comes from communion with God. Over time we grow to depend on hearing from God in His Word and through other believers. It's not a have to, it's a want-to. And as we experience His faithfulness, as He helps us live our lives, this causes us to depend on Him even more. Despite trials we face, we know the God of peace is with us.

Serving With Joy While Slowing Down

Mike Cooley 10:03

Before I was saved, I was often anxious, and I often started the day with bad decisions and motives. My path through the day was like the ball in a pinball machine. All over the place. As a believer in Jesus Christ, I've learned that it is essential for me to start the day with God. I need to connect with Him before I start interacting with Diane, my family, and the world. So I like to open my day in prayer before I even get out of bed. I'm gonna digress a little bit here. I I learned the hard way from the fire department. You know, you can the moment you get out of bed, the world's gonna be burning down. And so you can run into things in life that you weren't prepared for once you get up. So before I even get up, I like to open my day in prayer right there in bed. I'll ask our Heavenly Father for his help and guidance with those things I know I'm going to be doing, with those people I'll be connecting with, and for him to use me for his kingdom. At breakfast, I'll continue my reading through a book of the Bible or review sermon notes from pastors teaching on Sunday, or just reading a morning devotion like Stand on the Word. I'll continue to ask God's help throughout the day with projects I'm working on or decisions we are facing. You know, I'm again I'm amazed at what a practical God we serve. He's actually helped me with wiring projects inside my favorite. How am I gonna do this? And then I'll get just this vision. Oh, I can do that, and that's what works. So I'm giving him the glory for that. Even in the middle of the night, I follow Philippians 4, 6, and 7 all the time. If something's concerning me, and his peace of passes understanding guards my heart and mind.

Leanne Tuggle 11:53

Oh, that's so good. I mean, there's so many great nuggets that you guys have in there of just what excellence means. And what I hear is word before the world, that you are seeking God, whether in prayer or with the word. And like, and Mike, what you're saying too is like the very definition of what Thessalonians tells us to pray without ceasing, just all throughout the day praying, and that that is what is anchoring you. And on that note of anchoring, what role do you feel that scripture has played in anchoring you through different seasons of parenting or grandparenting, or even now in this legacy building era?

Mike Cooley 12:33

Our knowledge, understanding, and application of scripture is the solid foundation of our own personal walk each day. And the basis for any true, noble, praiseworthy, or excellent results we may have in our parenting, grandparenting, and legacy building. The beauty of basing any Christian outreach on scripture, besides the fact that it's true, is that without any changes or modifications by the authors, it is still applicable after thousands of years. And it works. Scripture is the unchanging word of God for a changing world. From a Christian perspective, any successful act of service or legacy building, in my experience, always starts with the server having a humble, sacrificial servant attitude and then branches out into more specific scriptural wisdom and truth, depending on the setting of the activity and the age of those involved.

Word Before World: Daily Dependence

Diane Cooley 13:36

When our sons were three and six, it was scripture that got my attention as I sat with them in a children's Christian ministry at our church called Caraway Street. It was through God's word that the actors and puppets clearly explained the message of the good news of Jesus Christ and how I'd fallen short of God's glory. That was the beginning of my newborn faith in Jesus Christ, and I took my first baby steps in the study of God's Word. The Bible no longer just sat on the shelf gathering dust. And as a family, we all dove into our newfound faith, committing to activities that emphasized the Word of God, reading it, studying it, memorizing it, hearing it taught, and sharing it with others. We found that there is an answer in Scripture for everything we face. God's word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. Later, as grandparents, we realized that God had given us another responsibility to pour into this next generation with God's life-giving word. With the Spirit's help, we took every opportunity to introduce our grandchildren to the Word of God. For example, there are some excellent picture Bibles for all ages, and we made sure that those were available. And from an early age, whenever our grandchildren would come for a visit, we would begin the day in God's Word. They called it Bible study with blueberry muffins. Oh, I love that. And on camping vacations, we continued this tradition, and often our grandchildren invited kids from neighboring campsites to join in our Bible study. Another way we would introduce God's Word is by previewing episodes of Focus on the Family's Audio Adventures and Odyssey, choosing the best ones to listen to in the car or at bedtime. Also, all of our grandchildren were on the edge of their seats when we read Helen Taylor's Little Pilgrim's Progress and discussed how it is based on God's Word and applicable to our lives. When Mike went backpacking with our grown sons and our grandchildren, God gave him a chance to teach how God's word is our spiritual compass to keep us on his path as we walk in the wilderness. As our grandchildren got older and were exposed more to our culture's norms and values, we would watch presentations by Christians on apologetics, like Jay Warner Wallace, where he digs into subjects like the existence of God and the reliability of the Gospels. There are so many publications and teachings available today based on and pointing to the Word of God. These can help direct young people to continue in God's word and stay on his path. As time goes on, we will continue to incorporate scripture into this season of our legacy building as we depend on God for direction.

Leanne Tuggle 16:30

Wow, there is a lot of intentionality going into being a grandparent. And I am so encouraged by that because I think that it is easy for a lot of us to you get through the parenting journey and be like, okay, I did it. But you are continuing to invest and continuing to carry that baton even into grandparenting. And I love that your grandchildren are inviting other kids from other campsites and that you're taking every opportunity to speak truth of God's word with your grandkids. I think that is so amazing. And I think something that people might wrestle with, and maybe you guys can speak to this, is the balance. How do you balance intentional spiritual investment with trusting God for the fruit? Because we don't always see the outcomes. They aren't always visible right away. So how do you balance that?

Mike Cooley 17:21

Well, we definitely there we have things that we'll plan ahead of time. Like we go on a road trip every summer, and Diane will start like months before the trip. What would be a good basis of a study for the for the girls? So we'll have stuff that's it's on the calendar. We we plan it out. But there's stuff that just comes out of left field where all of a sudden, whoa, we're going up to see our two granddaughters Thursday and pick them up at school because mom's got something going on, dad's working at the fire station. So you just be has have to be ready for that. You know, it and it's not always easy, you know. Oh, I was gonna, you know, do but hey, we can put it put it back. Yeah.

Leanne Tuggle 18:05

I love that. Yep.

Scripture As Anchor For Generations

Mike Cooley 18:07

Okay. When we are firmly grounded in scripture, it's a message we are encouraged to be steadf to be steadfast and to keep plowing hard ground and sowing seed, trusting that God will bring forth fruit. More often than not, we don't see immediate visible fruit, but every once in a while, things happen that motivate us to keep sowing. Things like I had a group of seven and eight-year-old boys at a vacation Bible school. One of our grandsons was in my group. After a stirring gospel message, everyone was asked to bow their heads, and if they wanted to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, to raise their hand. I was looking at the rest of our group and suddenly I looked over and our grandson raised his hand. And I got to lead him in a prayer of confessing his sin and asking for forgiveness and asking Jesus to come into his heart. God produces this fruit from our serving. Another grandson had received Jesus as his savior, but was quiet about his faith. In high school, he played football and attended youth groups at their church. Noting his interest in football through the years, we gave him several books by well-known Christian football players and coaches. His senior year, he and a teammate started kneeling in the end zone before every home game and praying. The same grandson sent a note when he graduated and said, You guys have always taught me to put God first in everything I do, which is the most important lesson of them all. When our three oldest grandchildren were still in elementary school, they'd often spend their Easter break with us. We played a lot, went to the beach, ate popcorn, mint chip ice cream. But we started every day with a Bible study. And during one of those visits, after years of hearing the plan of salvation, our granddaughter approached Diane and told her she wanted to ask Jesus to be her Lord and Savior. And Diane had the joy of praying with her. For years, I already mentioned this, we've gone on an extended road trip with one or both of the son's families. Diane always prays, like I said beforehand, about what it would be a good topic. And to see our granddaughters come rushing over to our truck and camper at 8 o'clock every morning, all excited, ready to come in and open their Bibles and sing worship songs and study who God is, and also what kind of young women He wants them to be. Their enthusiasm is so gratifying when we see them putting this new wisdom and direction into their daily lives with things like memorizing scripture and having a personal quiet time with the Lord. And we got to see both girls baptized, which motivates us to continue to invest in their lives and to trust God for the outcome.

Diane Cooley 21:00

We have to trust God to bring the fruit. It's from his word that we know that he cares that every single living person comes to know him. This is his desire. We believe and have faith that God is the only one who can bring new life and growth. When fruit is not always visible, we know that God is still sovereignly at work. We must always submit to his will, not ours. Our purpose here on earth is still the same to bring glory to God. We simply are the clay in the hands of the potter.

Leanne Tuggle 21:40

Oh, that's so good. And I I like that you have just again that intentionality, and then you are just moving forward, led by the Holy Spirit, and you will you know that the fruit will come. You have that faith that the fruit will come if you just are faithful in doing the work that is before you for each of your opportunities when you're interacting with your grandkids. And I love that you have been able to reap some of that harvest also from your efforts, that you have seen that. And I think that that's evidence of just that consistency that you have. And that's really lovely. It is. So, what what have you learned about speaking truth, both with courage and gentleness, especially when maybe redirecting loved ones back towards God's path, God's path? And perhaps you can think of like a specific story or example. You guys have shared a lot of really great examples too.

Planning, Patience, And Trusting For Fruit

Diane Cooley 22:34

Speaking God's truth takes courage, but the good news is that God will give us that courage. Yes. And when we're led by his spirit, he will enable us to speak his truth with gentleness. It's loving to want to redirect others back towards God's path, especially when You consider the alternative. But it's important to remember that speaking truth with courage and gentleness requires much prayer. James 5 16 says the prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. He uses James uses Elijah, the prophet, as an example, and we must pray with that same fervent prayer that Elijah had. And God answered his prayer. Later in verse 19, James says, If anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that anyone who brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. So, like Elijah, we must believe and not doubt. I'd like to share a simple example of redirection. One of our grandchildren as a young teen had gone through a phase where he would just stay in the car at church and read a book. This went on for a while, and one Sunday when we came for a visit, we were wondering where our grandson was. Mike found him in the car and invited him to come sit with us during the service. Mike told him that it's important to hear God's word being taught, and it would mean a lot to have him come and sit with him. Our grandson joined us with no argument, and he soon got involved in helping with the sound system during the services. We're just asked to be faithful. Oh, that's so good.

Mike Cooley 25:01

When our grandchildren were very young, I could tell them something and they would immediately accept it as truth. As they've grown older, they've acquired experience, and that can lead them to make judgments of their own on what is true and right. If I start talking to them about a path, a behavior found in God's word that they need to follow or further develop, it's very likely that they're going to, they're smart enough now, they're going to consider whether they've seen me following that path or living that behavior. They're going to ask themselves, does Poppy walk his talk? I cannot speak truth effectively into a loved one's life if I'm not living that truth in my own life. That being said, I've learned some things I can do to give loved ones confidence to listen to me. James 119 tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak. So first, be a good listener. Show an interest in them and what they are involved with in their life, whether it's academics, sports, music, hobbies, etc. Rarely is someone going to follow advice from a stranger about a new path to follow. I need to earn their acceptance and confidence. This process is not a one and done. I need to invest time in them. And Ecclesiastes 3:1 says there is a time for everything. So pray beforehand when you know you're likely to have some quality time with a grandchild. God puts us in places to accomplish His will. Also, when I'm having some quality time with my grandchildren, initially I need to be more listening than talking. I need to be alert for any indicators that they are somewhere other than solidly on God's path. If they seem to have strayed, I need to be ready to gently and courageously speak God's truth to them. You know, 2 Timothy 3 16 gives us four uses of scripture as it pertains to an individual's walk with God. It's teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training. Or what I'd like to tell my grandsons or all my grandkids, teaching is what is God's path. Rebuking is we're off God's path. Correcting is how to get back on God's path, and the training, how to stay on God's path. When my grandsons were younger, I did a lot of backpacking with them and their dad and uncle. We did a lot of map studies so we would know where we were and where we were headed to. Over time, they learned to recognize where we were by key points on the map, a river crossing, a meadow, some switchbacks, etc. However, there were times when we had to cover long stretches of solid granite, and the only clue to where the trail went was an occasional rock carn or pile of rocks that showed us the way to go. Your eyes had to be sharp to see the next carn and head toward it. We talked about how the Bible is our spiritual map to keep us on God's path, and we need we need to study it regularly so we don't get off the path. You can always see the next carn ahead when you know what you're looking for. And that's why we need to know God's word really well to see where the path goes.

Leanne Tuggle 28:30

I love that too. Like you mentioned earlier using Pilgrim's Progress as a Bible study. And then I hear the practical application of actually taking them on a trip and being on a path. And you know, it makes scripture come alive. So it's, I think that's really cool. And something that you kind of touched on, and maybe you can talk a little bit more about is how do you discern between when to speak and when to listen? You were mentioning listening, and then when do you simply just pray and wait? How do you discern between those?

Diane Cooley 29:03

Part of trusting God means to allow Him to lead us in spirit and in truth. And when we've been in prayer beforehand, and even specifically praying for discernment, we can believe and have faith that God will direct us. As I mentioned earlier, our confidence in God comes from our communion with God. Each of these actions, speaking, listening, praying, andor waiting, can be useful and helpful depending on each situation. Pause and pray before answering, like Nehemiah did when he silently asked God to help him answer the king. We always need to be careful of knee-jerk reactions or getting on the defensive and responding in anger. Always answer gently and with love.

Courage And Gentleness In Truth-Telling

Mike Cooley 29:52

Well, we talked about the importance of praying often for our loved ones before we see them in person. This lifting them up in prayer is important before we get in a situation that requires discernment, whether to speak or listen. So we can never pray about those situations too much. But if I'm in a discussion with a loved one and they share with me an interest they have in a new path or behavior or belief that's not of God, I need to say something gently, humbly, and courageously. As Diane mentioned, like Nehemiah and Nehemiah too, I can raise up a quick, short, silent prayer for God's help and then reply. To remain silent, can be taken as an okay to what they're saying or want to wanting to do. I don't have to have a perfect biblical defense for why their idea is not good. I can ask that they not do anything along those lines until both of us do some reading and research on the subject and get back together to discuss our findings. Then pray some more and ask God to help me with my research.

Leanne Tuggle 31:01

So a lot of prayer. A lot of prayer. It's the I think the key to discernment there, which is really great. And I like how you say to not be silent, but just to pray that quick prayer of like, okay, tell me what to say. I think that's really good. So I'm curious to know what you would say about, you know, building bridges between different generations is really important. What have you found to be most helpful in staying connected and even relevant with adult children and grandchildren today? I mean, they could just look at you and say, Well, you're old, you don't know. So how do you stay relevant with your adult children and grandchildren?

Diane Cooley 31:37

Well, the reason we want to stay genuinely connected with our loved ones is because we love them. And because we love them more than ourselves, we put them first before ourselves. They're more important, they need encouragement, they need our prayers, and they need us to be available. It's helpful to be intentional. When they call, for example, because we love them, we're ready to listen and encourage and let them talk. We protect this time with them, we stay available, we also show sincere interest in their lives by asking questions, by listening, and by finding some common ground. We let them know that we're thinking of them and we don't let too much time pass between a quick text or a card. Most importantly, we need to be ourselves and be especially conscious of the example that we're setting.

Mike Cooley 32:32

It's very important, even essential, that we stay current with what's going on in the lives of our adult children and grandchildren. And Diane and I are constantly updating each other about new information we get in phone calls or texts and in-person conversations with family members. Equipped with this knowledge, we can make good use of both planned and spur-the-moment opportunities for quality discussions with family members. It's sometimes necessary for us to do a little homework in order to have some basic knowledge about the new music or sport or class or hobby that they're interested in. We can see it in their eyes that it means a lot to them when we have some understanding of their interest.

Leanne Tuggle 33:20

Wow. There's there's so many good things you guys are saying here. Just with that, I just am very blessed by the intentionality of being willing to research and just connect with them, meet them where they're at. I think that that is a huge thing. And I think it is easy as you get older again to just kind of think, well, I've already done all the hard work, I'm done, I'm retired. I don't need to do this anymore. And what I hear you guys saying continually is that you're this work is not done, that you just keep showing up, you keep putting in that extra work and doing that to connect with them. And I think that that is really, really special. How would you say that becoming good listeners has shaped your relationships? You've talked about this a bit, but especially this culture right now moves so quickly and everyone thinks differently than previous generations. So, how how has becoming a good listener shaped your relationships?

Diane Cooley 34:16

Well, listening is so important in all our relationships. Listening's essential when we want to invest in someone's life. When we take the time to really listen, we show that person that we really care about them and what they believe and what they have to say. Listening can help to develop any things that we may have in common, as well as new ideas. We can also become aware of areas that may need prayer andor a reason for praise and celebration. We find that in this season of our lives, we definitely prefer moving at a slightly slower pace in our day when possible. It's what we've been used to. For example, we're used to sitting around a table for a meal and having conversation. At times it has seemed that this unhurried tradition seems refreshing to the younger generations.

Speak, Listen, Or Wait: Practicing Discernment

Mike Cooley 35:09

So we've done our homework and we know a little bit, a little about the interests of our loved ones. We're able to ask some questions that require more than a yes or no. Now we get the opportunity to be a good listener. If our grandchildren are really talking to us, I need to be actively listening and signal that I'm truly interested in what they're talking about. While they're talking, I'm also on the alert for new information that I get to ask additional questions about for them to explain or expand on. Over the years, I realized that I'm part of a generation that lives, works, recreates, etc., by talking. Our grandchildren do not necessarily have that history. They're used to texts, emojis, abbreviations, and brevity. For example, one of our grandkids is very busy, so his voicemail message is simply leave it. The joy of long casual conversations with grandpa and grandma is a skill or attribute that takes some developing. We need to be persistent and patient. But once this type of communicating starts to click, grandchildren can really begin to enjoy talking with us. And I think they really enjoy telling us about the real deep stuff about what's going on in life, not the superficial stuff. It definitely has made us closer. And a huge plus to our relationships is the fact that early on, it began with Jesus Christ as the center of our activities and conversations.

Leanne Tuggle 36:45

And I think what's really cool too about what you're saying is that you're you're almost like when they are spending time with you, you're setting a different standard, a little bit slower standard, where you know, like they know when they come over that this meal is going to include conversation and it's going to be a little longer than maybe what they're used to. And it sounds like, based on what you're saying, that they welcome that change of pace, that it's a little bit different than what they're used to, but that it's okay. And I feel like you have done a really great job of kind of shaping that and cultivating that standard and kind of setting that boundary of like when they're here with you, it's going to be a little different. And I think that's hysterical that he just says, just leave it. So can you share an example of maybe a time when you uh had to step out of your comfort zone or try something new and that it opened a door to deeper connection?

Mike Cooley 37:38

Yeah. I kind of mentioned this, but both our sons attended Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, at the same time, and not the same time, but they overlapped. While they were there, they became active in the Navigators Christian ministry on campus. Their nav counselors and friends lived out Acts 242. They devoted themselves to teaching of God's word, to fellowship with each other, to breaking of bread and to prayer. This group of young people were very welcoming over, I'm re-emphasizing, very welcoming. It was amazing and accepting to anyone that wanted to attend their fellowship, even parents. Our sons frequently asked us to drive down for the weekend and hang out with them and their friends. We'd go to their Friday night worship and teaching session and afterwards go out for eats with them. And sometimes on Saturdays we'd meet with the navs in the park. Coming from a conservative Baptist church, this was quite a change for us. It was definitely definitely us stepping out of our comfort zone and trying something new. It showed us what being all in for Jesus Christ looks like, even in the midst of a demanding course load or jobs. It showed us what loving and worshiping the Lord our God with our heart, soul, mind, and strength could look like. It changed our walk with the Lord forever. After that experience, trying new things with our grandkids and their friends is not such a big step. And we've seen firsthand the fruit that can come from that stepping out in faith. To this day, we still hear from some of those Cal Poly Navs with updates on their lives. We pray will have that kind of lasting impact on our grandkids.

Staying Relevant Across Generations

Diane Cooley 39:28

Here's another example of our trying something new that opened a door to a deeper connection. One of our grandchildren, who was an avid reader, became fascinated with the Harry Potter series when it first came out. We were a little concerned and conflicted at first because of all the emphasis on the sorcery and the magic. We didn't really embrace it with the same enthusiasm that he had. We were more concerned with where it might lead. But we kept our initial opinions to ourselves and asked God to help us to navigate through it. So we decided that it would be better for us to read the book for ourselves and make an informed decision. And also that it was much more important than that we didn't judge our grandson, but be willing to give it a try. So he was so excited when Mike asked him if he could borrow book number one, his reaction was really sweet. They enjoyed some discussion about it. And the only time our grandson brought it up again was when he gave Mike a Harry Potter coffee mug. I would say that the experience enriched our relationship.

Leanne Tuggle 40:33

I love that. And I I like how you said that you chose not to like pass judgment, but to take this Amazon opportunity to grow or learn and kind of along the lines of what you guys have been saying about researching and connecting with what they're interested in, even though you had reservations. I think that's something to take note of for sure. Well, kind of to wrap up this incredible conversation, I would love to know like what you would say for grandparents or maybe older believers who are listening and maybe they feel unsure how to engage or even maybe feel overlooked. What encouragement do you could you offer about staying available, being adaptable, and being fruitful in this season?

Diane Cooley 41:16

Well, God offers encouragement to us by reminding us that children are a gift from God and they are his reward. They are a great blessing. So continue to cultivate your relationship with the Lord, trusting him as you grow in your faith, and asking him for direction and patience, and then wait for those opportunities, big or small, and maybe not exactly what you're expecting, but always thanking God for his faithfulness in all things.

Mike Cooley 41:47

We need to remember that whatever the event or occasion that brings us together with our grandchildren and loved ones, whether it's sports, music, vacations, holidays, etc., we are involved in an act of service and always on the lookout for opportunities to speak or model God's truth into their lives. If we pray about it, God will give us opportunities. That sewing of God's truth is the excellent Christian legacy we want to leave behind us. That being said, to be used like this by the Lord, we need to have a healthy relationship with Him. In his book about Nehemiah, Victorious Christian Service, the author Alan Redpath talks about the importance of maintaining a strong relationship with the Lord if we're going to be successful in any act of service for him. This strong relationship starts with us personally, flows into our marriage, and then into our family, and then our extended family. In all these situations, it's like building a strong spiritual wall to protect us. The world our grandchildren and loved ones are living in is a battleground.

Leanne Tuggle 43:01

Yep.

Mike Cooley 43:01

They need God's strong wall around them for protection. We need to be in prayer regularly for God to give us wisdom and discernment so we can win this battle. Pray for our opportunities to connect with our grandchildren and loved ones. Diane and I are planners and keep a calendar and a to-do list. That being said, we need to be willing to juggle our schedule when there's an opportunity to be with our family. Nothing beats being with them in person and they appreciate it. Sometimes there's visible fruit from these opportunities, and sometimes not. We just keep on encouraging and watering the seed already sown.

Slower Conversations And Deeper Listening

Leanne Tuggle 43:44

That's so wonderful. Just being consistent, being available, being prayerful. And then I love how you just bring it right back to being in the word for yourselves. That that's the foundation of it is knowing who you are in Christ is what gives you the ability to be able to be available for your loved ones. That's what I'm saying. Yes. So, Mike and Diane, thank you so much for sharing this wisdom with us. We I just so appreciate hearing from you and just all of these this year, years of relationship building that you have had. It's an example and a testament for all of us. So thank you so much for sharing with us today. Thank you. Thank you for having us.