S1E14 - Communication, Literally (Part 2): Why How You Ask Matters Artwork

Black Girl, Brown Girl...Squirrel! A Podcast for Neurodivergent Women of Color

Welcome to Black Girl, Brown Girl… Squirrel! — the podcast for Black, Hispanic, Latina, and Asian women who are Neurodivergent (or wondering if they might be).

We’re your Sista Squirrels 🐿️ Shai and Lex — here to celebrate the chaos, the brilliance, and the hilarity of brains that don’t follow the “default settings.” Around here, tangents are the point.

We talk about life with:

🌀 ADHD — from hyperfocus to forgotten keys (again).
✨ Autism / AuDHD — deep dives, sensory adventures, and social “huh?” moments.
💭 Anxiety & Depression — the not-so-fun side quests.
💡 Self-diagnosis & discovery — figuring it out as we go.

Expect unfiltered stories, laughter that derails into tangents, and the relief of knowing you’re not the only one. Whether you’ve got a diagnosis, are self-identifying, or just suspect your brain might be running on a custom operating system, you belong here.

So grab your snacks, follow the chaos, and come squirrel with us. Life’s way more fun (and way less lonely) when you realize “off the rails” is the best track.

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Black Girl, Brown Girl...Squirrel! A Podcast for Neurodivergent Women of Color

S1E14 - Communication, Literally (Part 2): Why How You Ask Matters

December 31, 2025 • The Squirrels • Season 1 • Episode 14

0:00 | 48:27

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In Part 2 of this two-parter, Shai and Lex zoom in on PDA communication—why “just do it” can feel like a nervous-system threat, how autonomy changes everything, and why intent and relationship context matter. They also unpack the reality of neurotypical workplace expectations (including the pressure to never say “I don’t know”), how masking becomes a survival tool, and what better support can actually look like in real time.

To close, they share best practices for communicating with neurodivergent people: respecting processing time, offering multiple communication options, reducing sensory overload, using written/visual aids, and practicing “double empathy” so both sides can meet in the middle with more clarity and grace.

TL;DR

Shai and Lex dig into PDA communication (why direct demands can trigger resistance), and how neurotypical “soft asks” can sometimes feel worse depending on the person. They also share practical, neuroaffirming communication tips—processing time, clear options, sensory support, and written/visual follow-ups—so conversations feel easier on both sides.

TIME STAMPS

00:00 — Welcome + ND-safe-space disclaimer

01:07 — PDA communication: why demands trigger resistance

03:24 — Autonomy, timing, and “don’t control my schedule”

06:51 — Indirect language vs. direct requests (relationship nuance)

09:56 — Workplace communication: masking, clarity-questions, and “adulting” through friction

14:04 — Humor + deflection: reducing anxiety in conversation

16:07 — “I don’t know” pressure in neurotypical work culture

19:38 — Customer-facing scripts: confidence vs. perceived deception

24:49 — Learning under pressure: competence, shame, and getting support

31:51 — PDA at home: internal demands and daily-life resistance

33:29 — Best practices: processing time + asking “do you need a minute?”