Season 2 Episode 7 - Running a Business With ADHD and Chronic Illness (Part 1)

What does it really look like to run a business with ADHD and chronic illness?

In this episode of Black Girl, Brown Girl… Squirrel!, Shai shares the real behind-the-scenes of Neurodivergent entrepreneurship, including executive dysfunction, impulsive spending, procrastination, chronic pain, burnout, energy management, and learning to build systems that work with her brain.

We also talk about the strengths ADHD can bring to business, from creativity and big-picture thinking to pattern recognition, empathy, and innovation. Plus, Shai shares practical lessons around flexibility, finances, self-advocacy, boundaries, and using AI to reduce mental load.

This episode is for Neurodivergent entrepreneurs, women of color in business, adults with ADHD, people living with chronic illness, and anyone learning to build success on their own terms. 🐿️

TIME STAMPS

00:20 Life Updates, Caregiving, and Finding Peace
01:52 Mom’s Moyamoya Diagnosis and Recovery
04:03 Family History, Strokes, and Community Support
11:28 Shai’s Career and What She Actually Does
17:55 Communication, Leadership, and Neurodivergence
22:21 Bringing Lived Experience Into the Workplace
27:57 Why Shai Became an Entrepreneur
33:50 Running a Business With ADHD
35:48 Impulsive Spending, Finances, and Hard Lessons
37:56 When a Working Relationship Had to End
42:57 Managing ADHD, Energy, and Burnout
49:59 Challenging Myths About Disabled Entrepreneurs
51:46 Advice for Neurodivergent and Chronically Ill Founders
56:21 Using AI to Organize Ideas and Reduce Mental Load
1:00:13 Final Thoughts and Closing

RESOURCES

Mental Health Resources

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
• Therapy for Black Girls
• Inclusive Therapists
• Clinicians of Color

Neurodivergent Resources

• ADDitude Magazine
• Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA)
• Association for Autism & Neurodiversity (AANE)
• The Color of Autism Foundation
•  Understood
• Job Accommodation Network (JAN)

CONNECT WITH US

Fan Page: Fanlist.com/BGBGSquirrel 

IG: @BGBGSquirrel

Threads: @BGBGSquirrel

Email: BGBGSquirrel@Gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hey, hey! Welcome to Black Girl, Brown Girl Squirrel, your go-to spot for women of color that are neurodivergent. We're your hosts, Shy and Alexis, to Neurodivergent Sister Friends just trying to figure it all out.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

So grab your favorite snack, sit back, relax, and let's squirrel together. Hello, Shy.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Hey, girl. Hi, Lex.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

I'm tired. Yeah, yeah. It's the nighttime. It's the nighttime. Yes. And we are recording on a day that we typically would have an episode out. Whoops. It is what it is. In a lot of ways. Um. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

So yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

We did a lot of catching up before we even turned this thing on. Um we did. For the people. How you doing?

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Actually, I'm doing good. I was talking to uh my accountability partner yesterday, and I told her that I was pleasantly surprised because I don't always take stock of how I'm feeling per se. And I sat there and I thought about it because she asked me, she was like, Well, how are you doing with everything that was going on? And I was like, I'm at peace. I feel good. I'm in a good space. Um, despite all the stresses and everything, I really do feel good. And I feel like um the switch in my medication um is finally doing what I was hoping it was do, which is take effect because I I still have a little bit of my anxiety edge, but it's not as bad as it was when I was in that transition period from one medicine to the other. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

So I'm good. How you be? I be good. I'm happy that you're doing well because you've had an eventful few weeks. So I'm happy to hear that you're doing well despite everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Yes, thank you. Mom is doing well. Um, so now at this point, it's just going and seeing some neurologists and seeing what they want to do to treat her condition. Um, so um they actually put a name to it. It's called Moya Moya disease. I don't know if I mentioned that in the last episode that we had, but it's basically when the blood vessels in the brains get really, really small, um the small blood vessels in the brain get clogged and it starts causing these um small seizures, not seizures, sorry, small um strokes to happen. Mini strokes. But unfortunately, those mini strokes do lead to major strokes because it affects the carotid artery at some point. And um now we know what it is. It impacted my grandmother. Um, and that's how she passed away. So now there's evidently some much better treatments for that. So she's on the right protocols, nobody's alarmed, none of the doctors are alarmed, so that's a good thing. Um and so we just watch out to see if there's any other types of symptoms or anything. She's resting and taking things slowly, she's not rushing back into her previous day-to-day activities. Um, so yeah, she's doing well. We just trying to get her to sleep better at night because she's still having some issues with that on and off. But that's typical for people that are older. Um but yeah, so things are going, things are going good. I was just glad that I was able to be in a position to be home to care for my mom. And um, then I have the support, of course, of my husband and my friends, like you guys, which so that was great. And I think that contributed to the peace and the low anxiety threshold.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Well, when things like this happen, I would imagine it's very uh you're you appreciate more flexibility you might have to be able to be there, to be present.

unknown 4:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

Your mom when going through something like this, because it was unexpected. I know I certainly didn't expect to see that message that day.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

I was debating about sending it because I was like, I don't know what's going on right now. I was like, but if if something so the way that happened with my grandmother, and that's why I was like, let me send it right away. My grandmother had a series of small strokes, they're called T I A's. Uh um, excuse me. So she had a series of those.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

But the night before she passed, she was at the table. Hold on one second.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

Allergies. So the night before she was she passed, she was at the table with my aunt drinking some tea. She thought she picked the teacup up to put it to her mouth because this particular type of strokes stroke um affects your mobility um in most people. So it affects basically the left side of your it can affect your right side, but your left side of your body. Hold on.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

She's having some little choke attacks, nothing nothing major, just usual, just a little allergy call. Right?

SPEAKER_02 5:22

Um but she thought she was drinking the tea and the cup fell to the floor. And so my aunt was trying to figure out what was going on, and uh, there were some other symptoms. So they called the paramedics. And what's interesting about this particular type of stroke is that even because the brain like maps out another route, so it's like, oh, went to a dead end. Okay, let me map another route to flow blood, it just flows around. Um, and so the symptoms can can start to dissipate and disappear. So the paramedics come, and I really wish you you would have loved my grandmother. My grandmother was just a really awesome lady, but she told those paramedics, baby, I got to to pluck out my fro, her little tiny fro. And she said, Go give me my earrings. And she had her little pearl, her pearl earrings on. My grandmother was always dressed to the nines wherever she went, nails done, everything. And actually, I think my mom has lived past the age my grandmother was when she passed. But anyway, so she was in her 70s. They take her out, they let her pluck her hair, they let her put on her earrings. She goes to the hospital. And they lived in Sacramento, and we were down in the San Francisco Bay Area, so about an hour and a half away. So by the time we got the call, I want to say in the middle of the night, we got a call because she had a couple of minor strokes in the middle of the night. And I can't remember if we got the call in the middle of the night. And then we called up there first thing in the morning, and they were like, Yeah, you might want to go ahead and come up and everything. She's about to have an MRI. So we drove up, we get to the hospital. While grandma was on the table having her MRI, she had two major strokes, and that's what ended her life. So, um, of course, we ended up calling all the family to come up because she was on life support at that point, so everybody could, you know, say their goodbyes or whatever. So things happened quickly. And so when this happened with my mom, I was debating on sending it because it was first thing in the morning, and I was debating on sending it. And I thought, nope, because if something happens, just in case something happens or something more serious happens, one, I don't want to have to explain to anybody why didn't you send this message first thing in the morning, sis? And then second of all, I didn't want to get in trouble with anybody going back to number one, why didn't he send this message? So that's why I said y'all. So I and I was like, I don't want to alarm them just in case this ends up um being something mild, but I kind of figured they were gonna keep her overnight. And I was like, yeah, they're gonna want to know. So, you know, you guys are her babies. I mean, um what's interesting is you know, we've had these conversations in our families, just I'm my mom's only child. And so I mid-said mom, if something happens to me, what are you going to do? Are you gonna move back to California? Are you gonna stay here? And she had thought about moving back to California, which she still might, um, if something happens, but she's but um our sister friend spoke up and said, We would take care of your mom. She's like our mom. And then my mom was like, Well, maybe I would stay here because I do have daughters that are here. And I said, Yeah, and they would definitely take care of you. You know, and I was thinking of you guys and Danielle and several others, and that put me at peace because you know, you want to know that your loved one is gonna be taken care of. And you know, my husband will probably go back to Florida and be with his sister. So I was like, okay, you know, um, and that made me feel good. So I was like, no, I'm not going to let something potentially happen or something progress quickly, and I haven't given a heads up to the people that mean the most to her. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

And we definitely I think I probably speak for all of us that we appreciate you letting us know what had happened as it was happening. Um, because for one, I've hate for I'm happy that everything went the way it did. Like I just saw your mama yesterday and she looked fantastic. Um walking around saying everything. I was so happy to see her. Like I like felt like I um got closure on her emergency. Like I was a thing. Garcia Wayne got her nails dead, she was ready to show off her new nail color. It's all bright. Um but if things had changed, I would hate for you to have to go through that by yourself. Yeah. Um having just had a family experience or something, and it it didn't end like that, it ended bad. Um getting a call of or a message of something sudden happening is way more traumatic than maybe having a heads up that it might turn into that. So Yes. Yeah. I agree. So I'm glad you scared and I'm glad we were able to be there for you. And yes, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Yes. She's good and she, you know, she's taking it nice and easy and stuff. But again, you know, that's why I'm grateful that um I I really was thanking God that I was like, okay, I was home when she started having her symptoms. I can get her to the hospital. Um, and I could be there for her. And I was the calm for her and all that kind of stuff, you know.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

Yeah. So well, now that we've given everybody an update on our lives, I was gonna say, I swear we're not always going through it, y'all, but that might be a lot. We do, we do be going through it, but we still we still out here. We still we still showing up for each other and for y'all what we can.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

Exactly. Exactly. Because we know y'all out there going through some stuff. So at least hopefully hearing how we're handling things will help you to better be able to handle things as well.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

So it's gonna sound like we're gonna do a hard pivot, y'all, but we're gonna do it. Because what I kind of wanted us to take a second to talk about is about you and your career.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

That you coughing at me saying your career, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

Here's the funny thing. I muted my mic and forgot that the computer mic will pick up.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Okay. So part that over. Maybe we cut that out.

SPEAKER_02 12:19

I don't know. We'll see what happens. Yeah, that can the behind the scenes is one of the things like this is what really goes on when we're recording. Okay, you'll save that for another time. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Yeah, yeah. So um wanted to pivot to talk about with particular with you, is your career and the work that you do. We've made some references to it in conversation a lot. We kind of make a reference to your work being in communication. Uh-huh. And we even had like a two-part episode about communication and neurodivergence and how that goes together and little bits and pieces about how it looks in the workplace. But I was like, duh, Shy literally does this for work. Like, what does that look like? But I kind of want to talk about it in two parts. So I want to talk about what it looks like you being a small business owner, you running your own business, uh, with also the added pieces of having ADHD, having chronic illness, right, dealing with anxiety and and depression that might come up at different times, having family emergencies and kind of being the only child of your mother is older in age, like you have other challenges to come with that as well. So before we even get into all the nitty-gritty of what you do and what that looks like, I want to kind of talk about what it looks like for you even day to day, right? But first, let's give our listeners a brief overview of like what it is that you do. We make a joke that no one knows what you do for work, but I think that could that keys easily be fixed, right? Can you let the people know what it is that you do?

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Yeah, I'm the Tommy of my group, and if you don't get that reference, um you might be a little too young for this show. Um so what I do is um, so I launched my own business about four years ago. Um, and I am a what they call a fractional trainer, which is somebody that gets hired to go in and help set up training programs within businesses. Um, I go in and act as their primary trainer for them, whatever the case may be. So I'm a fractional trainer and also a coach. Um, my area of expertise is in communication and leadership skills. And what that means is that I focus on helping businesses, leaders, and so forth better understand how to close the communication gaps with their employees, with their customers, by understanding how people really think and process information and how they really communicate and the behaviors around their communication. So, excuse me, so I'm a certified disc behavioral analyst and I'm also a certified professional in talent development. Hopefully, my recertification goes through that I just put in. So basically, that means as a certified professional in talent development, I have to know some of everything that goes into the field of talent development, which is organizational development, which is um all aspects of what they call LD learning and development, training, facilitation, understanding motional intelligence, understanding KPIs and the statistics around that. And we all know I have dyscalculeas, so I really don't do the math part. Um and then you combine that with my disc behavioral analyst. So disk is a way of assessing someone's, it's more than just a personality assessment, but it's assessing the three different ways people tend to communicate, um, as well as the behaviors around that communication, understanding what motivates them, what demotivates them, that sort of a thing. So I bring all of that together to help people to communicate and lead in a more neurodiverse environment. So everybody truly is included in conversations, included in the leadership, and has an opportunity to continue to grow. And the only other thing I'll add to that is we know that in this in the US, we've had over 600,000 black women laid off from major organizations. And um, I still have some research to do on this, but a nice percentage of that, a nice percentage of them are likely to be neurodiverse, whether diagnosed or not. And they are the ones that are the foundations of the company. So they're the creatives that are doing marketing. They're the ones that are also systems operators. So they're the ones that are doing the backbone of the business and help building the infrastructure and everything that's needed in the business. They're the ones that um are the innovators. They're coming up with the ideas to help move the business forward. And generally speaking, we as women of color often get shut down anyway when it comes to um our ideas and our innovations and so forth. So it's even more impacted when we are neurodivergent as well, because that's shutting down the part of our brains that is part of our brilliance. And so that was another reason why I pivoted towards this. And eventually I will become a neurodivergent coach for women of color.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Well, I feel like I know what you do for work now.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

I don't know. I still think you're an accountant, even though you're not.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

My Lord, are we trying to tell people? You wear me out. I'm not an accountant, I don't have an accounting degree, whatever. This isn't about me. So what would you say? What would you say kind of led you into this work? So you said you started this business, you said four years ago. Man, time was my fast. Yeah. I remember the launch party for your for your business. But you were obviously doing work like this before then. So what led you into this work?

SPEAKER_02 18:24

So I had already been in the talent development field for almost about 30 years now. I um have always done some form of training. I've trained sales, I've done marketing, um, communication, executive leadership. You name it, I've trained on it. Um, and then when I was in the cruise industry, of course, I also trained on destination ships and all of that kind of stuff. Um, so when I launched my business, I knew I wanted to focus on communication and leadership. I just hadn't figured out the right niche. And so a lot of companies don't feel like they need communication trently. Hold on. I think it's these flowers. Hold on a second. Okay, sorry about that. So um, I am sucking on a mint. So if you guys hear that, I'm sorry, but it's gonna keep me from from choking on the air. I was like, she needs some recola or something. I'm drinking water and all stuff, yeah. But so I've been doing this for all this time, and I really wanted to focus on communication and leadership. The problem is a lot of companies don't feel like they need communication training for their leaders. When you look at most leadership uh training that's out there, it's more titles like situational leadership, um, it's transformational leadership, it's servant leadership, it's all of these different things. And those are all legit different types of forms of leadership. It's teaching them how to tell people what to do. But I focus on how to let me back up and put it this way. A lot of times you have leaders that are telling people, this is what I want you to do, and this is how I expect you to do it. Instead of bringing them to the table with them and saying, How do you think this should best be done? What are some things that you have on your plate or what are some ideas that you have? So it's syncing up. So instead of forcing the employees to sync up to them, we're encouraging leaders to learn how to sync up to their employees. So I'm going to communicate with you, Alexis, in the way that you like to be communicated with, using the words that are going to motivate you, putting myself in your shoes and helping to think like you think. And if I can't, then I'm going to ask you what you think and move that forward. And so that became a challenge. So my first two years was just, you know, getting out there, doing some things I was familiar with. I was hired by some some cruise lines and things that I had worked with before to do that. When I got diagnosed with ADHD, that's when the real shift happened. Because then I started thinking back on all the times in my career where I questioned did I overexplain? Did I not explain enough? Did they take me as an angry black woman when I was just trying to express an idea? Why did I get shut down? Why was I never asked? And so there were instances of the isms, but then the reality of because I communicate differently, I think differently. So my Enthusiasm sometimes was taken as being overly aggressive, overly assertive. Trying to take control. So that's when I said, no, this needs to be brought to a broader audience, and that's why I made that shift and that change to do this work.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

So then what sort of unique perspective do you think that brings now, especially since now you have the knowledge of it being ADHD? How does that sort of perspective help you now when you are engaged in your training, coaching, all of that?

SPEAKER_02 22:47

It helps now because one, like we said, we always collect each other. So it's it's a little bit easier to kind of point out the people in the room that might be quiet because they're neurodivergent, um, or those that are eager and excited to share because their brains are clicking. They're when I see other people that are like like me, we talk over each other and we're spewing out all this stuff. And I'm like, mm-hmm, yep, you won. Um and some people are just excited and enthusiastic about what they do. But I bring a certain level and I always have a certain level of empathy to my trainings, to my classrooms, to my coaching, to my speaking engagements that sometimes get lost and get missed. I now can bring people into a conversation that were not part of the conversation. So I make it a very deliberate point. Even though I had my own struggles when I got identified as ADHD and I had to deal with all of my emotions around that, I never once shied away from saying I am neurodivergent. I have ADHD. I think differently, I communicate differently. I'm gonna do this and I'm not gonna apologize if I start talking over you. That's how my brain works, that's how my mouth works. I'm not gonna apologize for that anymore. What I will say is I don't mean to cut you off, but you're gonna say something that's gonna spark an idea, and I'm going to feel the urge to get it out. So let me get it out and we can keep moving. And most people go, uh, oh, okay. But to be forewarned is to be forearmed, right? So that's what I bring, and that's the perspective I bring. Anytime you can do work from an authentic place, people are willing to listen to it. And then when you get in the right rooms, which was also the struggle I had, when you get into the right rooms and the right people get it, that's when the doors really start opening for you. And all it takes is one door for you to go in and be off and running.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

I'm realizing too, as you're saying this, that part of the challenge is probably that people kind of view these communication challenges and even the existence of neurodivergent persons in their workplace at their organization as an idea and not a reality. So by you being there and making it very clear, this is what I got going on, they're being faced with the reality that people have real careers, real jobs every day, and are coping with the expectations and the discomfort and the downright unhelpfulness of being in a neurotypical world when you are not neurotypical. So then they have to actually be like, well, why did I think this wasn't necessary? Right. Yes, ask yourself the question when it's being put right in front of your face.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

They do. I mean, it's the same thing that that we've dealt with um not only in our country but around the world for centuries of you have to recognize that there are going to be people that are different from you, whether that's ethnically, whether that's um you know, in a range of colors in your own ethnicity or nationality, um, different dialects. You know, you yeah, we all speak Spanish, but do you speak Catalan or do you speak, you know, Spanish that's from Mexico or Spanish from the Dominican Republic? Like all these different dialects, right? So we have to learn to accept that. And it does make people uncomfortable because oftentimes we then have to look at ourselves and go, well, did I make somebody feel that way? We all have. We've all made somebody feel othered at some point.

SPEAKER_00 26:45

Yeah, yeah. That's important to accept that we've all done it.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

Intentionally or unintentionally, we've all done it. So now we're looking at, okay, if you want to keep your team together and keep your company running well, and you want to keep the best people for your business, what do you do and how do you do that? I'm just one piece of that. There's a lot of pieces we could talk about. But everything that we do comes down to communication. Everything comes down to how we talk to each other and how we listen and receive information.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

You sure do.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

So, okay, I know there's some other aspects about this that we want to get into a little bit later, but I want to talk about this now. Um, having ADHD, having autism, having a variety of things can usually get like an automatic negative outlook people have on it, and an idea that you like can't do something or you shouldn't do something. So what inspired you to start your own business despite even having before knowing about ADHD, even chronic illnesses that you battle with? What inspired you to start your own business even when you have this thing to contend with?

SPEAKER_02 28:13

So I always tell people I never wanted to be an entrepreneur. It was never something that crossed my mind. I was going to, I wanted to go to work, do a job I loved, have fun doing it, because I love training. I love creating training, um, all aspects of that, getting out there, seeing the aha looks on people's faces, delivering the training and having fun with whoever it is that's participating in the class. I love that. So let me go do my job, make my money, and go home. That's what I wanted. But in the last, in my last few years of working in in corporate, so to speak, I was working at a nonprofit at the time, but um, and I started uncovering my health challenges and things like that with the chronic illness. And I was just like, you know what? I want to be able to get up when I want to get up and work. Even though I worked remotely, I was still required to like, not necessarily be in at a certain time because we didn't have it like that, but I knew if everybody else is up and working around eight, nine o'clock, I gotta be up working around eight, nine o'clock. Um, if I decided I wanted to work late, well then let me work late and let me sleep in in the morning and get up and work late because whatever. So ultimately I started getting to a point, and I think especially after the pandemic when I was very high risk, I started going. Other people, I didn't feel that there were some people that appreciated how serious that was for me. Especially when I was the one that was the only one going out doing face-to-face training. So, yeah, I literally had to get doctor's notes for them to put certain precautions to limit the number of students in my classrooms. I was training in big ballrooms. I was used to training three to five hundred people at a time. And on some of these events, there were like 300 people, it was like the max. And now I'm asking them to take it down to like 75, 80 people. I'm affecting company revenue. I was just about to ask. Yeah. You know, um, not that we weren't doing stuff online and making revenue, but I was a draw because people liked my training classes. And I'm not trying to say that in a bragatory way, but it was just, it is what it is. And I love training. So that became an issue. And I said, people aren't taking this as seriously. I ended up becoming very agoraphobic. I was scared to be around people because I didn't know who could make me sick and who couldn't. Um, and then once the world started going back to their new normal and so forth, something in me kind of clicked. And it started with um, so I have a little book club that I do on Facebook with some friends, and we were reading a book by John Maxwell. And if you don't know who John Maxwell is, he is considered um in the leadership space in the business world as like a leadership guru. So we were reading one of his books, and somebody said, Hey, I know somebody that's a part of the John Maxwell team. She could come in and talk more about this. So we invited her in, and I said, I have loved his books ever since I read The 360 Degree Leader, wanted to learn more. Then I started going down the path of becoming certified in his methods of training and leadership and speaking, and I said, Can I replace my salary doing this? And she said, Yep. And something in me, that switch flipped, and then I was like, I'm gonna start my own business. So I got my LLC in 2019 and I launched my business in 2022 when I left my organization, and I have not looked back. Not saying it's been easy, but I haven't looked back. So that's what kind of propelled me to do this, and knowing that um there were days where my body would be happy and fine, and other days it's in pain and wants to lay down, and other times I don't want to think. I can't afford to use that energy um to think and to research and whatever. So now I got to figure out what other work I can do. Now I can do that for myself. I have that set up, and I'll talk more about that in a little bit because um, if I forget, just remind me to come back to talk about how I use chat in my life.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

But yeah. So then, since starting this business, what sort of challenges have you faced? And I'm thinking about two with specifically with the ADHD, because I think some of the other chronic illnesses, you already knew about those. So you already kind of know what you gotta do about that. You already anticipate those things. Um, now you have a different understanding of your brain and how it works and what some of your needs are, where your strengths, where your weaknesses are. What sort of challenges have you faced while building and running this business?

SPEAKER_02 33:57

One of the biggest challenges is having effective systems in place so that you can work smarter and not harder. I know we're used to that quote, and that means a lot of different things. But truly, um, when you're when your executive function is not functioning and your brain, and I even laugh about it because I was like, at the time that I got diagnosed, my brain was not in a place for me to learn about executive function and how to make it function. So I was just like, I'm already knee deep in this. So I literally kind of took a year off in a way of working on my business after I got my um diagnosis, just to kind of go, okay, but I need to stay productive. What do I do now? So I started a podcast, which that was brilliant. Um, but it helped me to stay focused. So definitely staying focused. Um, especially when you're working with clients, there's times that you're gonna have client work that you like to do and client work that you have to do. Oh, yeah. So that PDA kicks in of you know you're supposed to be doing this, but I ain't finna do it. And I'm like, but I got a client meeting tomorrow. Crap. So now I gotta stay up all night working on this project. So that organization, having systems in place, that procrastination is a killer. Yes, I get a lot of my best ideas at night or at the last minute, but when you've got to deliver to a client, that's not the best time to have some of that stuff kicking in. Um, so there were times when I had to extend deadlines, and I'm obligated to my clients. We have financial agreements in place that if certain things don't happen by certain times, I'm obligated to do things. One of my biggest challenges, and this is I I I'm going to keep it real, but it's one of the hardest things for me to talk about. Impulse of spending.

SPEAKER_01 36:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

Because as you get money in, like my first year of business was killer. I made some good money. I was like, I really am replacing my, but I was I need to start finishing my sentences. I was really able to move towards replacing my salary, and that was even after uh my expenses were covered. The problem is I was didn't know at the time, but I was in an impulsive spiral. Okay. My ADHD was off the charts because I was under a lot of stress and I'm under a lot of pressure, and I'm trying to do, trying to do, which is why at the end of that year I ended up getting going into therapy, and the following year I got diagnosed. But that impulse of spending led to not being able to do some of the things I needed to do to maintain my business, not making wise decisions on um how to reinvest that money, how to save that money, not budgeting quite as effectively as I could have. And I had a bookkeeper that was helping me, and she was on my tail. But um, I didn't know what I was dealing with at the time, and neither did she. So she can only meet me so far. Um, and that can almost destroy your business. So by the time I went to therapy, I was like, I'm about to lose everything I worked so hard for, and I don't know why. Um, so yeah, those are the types that so everything that you deal with in your personal life, that gets brought into your business, especially when you're a solopreneur. And then I actually had a I had a girlfriend of mine, we bartered services, and then I was paying her at times. She was my VA. She fired me. She was like, Yeah, I I was I was really hurt. I really was. That RSD kicked in. But I knew it was the right decision. Okay. And that was the one thing that kind of saved it because she said, You're all over the place right now. And I'm trying to balance this, this, this, and this. And she had her own business going on, which I was also trying to help support her and kind of coach her through. And she's like, But you're all over the place, and I I can't keep switching and turning and changing because you keep switching and turning and changing. I literally cried when I got her email. But I knew it was the right decision. So there's a lot of pain.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

There's a lot of pain. And it doesn't change just because you own a business.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

I'm sorry. I'm quiet because I'm just sitting here processing what you told me. That makes a lot of sense, but it's just like because um you were also friends with this person. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so that's like, oh, I'm sure it hurt her to have to do it.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

Oh, I know it did. I had to think about it.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

I know to think about it and was beaten or something. Then profoundly just decided there's also an aspect of if I want to keep this friendship, I'm gonna have to end this part. Right.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

I mean, we had a good conversation about it, and I totally get it. I do not hold it against her at all. We went on to collaborate on some other things. Um, and in fact, she was the original person that was gonna collaborate with me on this particular project, but she also knew her limitations. Okay, and her health wasn't so great. But um, so it we said, okay, so it doesn't work in that aspect, but we can work in other ways, which is what we did and we have continued to do. Um, so yeah, it was it was very hurtful, but it was hurtful because that's what she had to do. And I I put her in the position to have to finally go, you know, this ain't working. Let's, you know, it's you know, that whole, it's not you, it's me. No. But you know, I forced her to do the breakup. But then it was also hurtful because a lot of my actions were out of control. A lot of my ideas I could not implement, a lot of the things that I wanted to do because my brain was not, was not managed. Was not managed. So now that it is, I still get a bunch of ideas. I still, I've still got notepads, and I I try to keep my notes organized. And one day I will hire somebody to come in and say, girl, put all these these notes over here, and I need you to organize this and I need you to do that. So I still have that, but now it's a little more clear because my brain is more silent. It's not all the tabs open in three different monitors and there's music playing in one of those 500,000 tabs, and I don't know which one it is.

SPEAKER_00 41:31

And you're also aware. Like, yes, the information is power in that sense. Like you are aware of what your brain does. So if you have a day where it might be doing a little bit more of that all over the place, then typically you can be like, hold on, now what is this? Uh-huh. Hold on, take my breath.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

And then be sitting there like, did I take my medicine this morning?

unknown 41:54

Right.

SPEAKER_01 41:55

And then I'd be like, No.

SPEAKER_02 41:58

Okay, well, I'm away from my one o'clock alarm, and I'll take my medicine at one o'clock. So even if I forgot to take it this morning, I know I have to take it at one o'clock. But yeah. So yes, I take my medicine at one o'clock. Eight o'clock and one o'clock.

SPEAKER_00 42:12

But we all we all know. Now we all know at one o'clock at eight o'clock you take your medicine, and we can all ask you at one o'clock, did you take your medicine? Yes. We'll ask you at 105, give you a second to take it.

SPEAKER_02 42:23

So it's, you know, but I feel like it's important to share the realities and not not um not sugarcoat things and just be like, oh yeah, it was hard, and you know, I was struggling to get clients and all. That's typical stuff. The real deal is you are trying to work with the most powerful processor in the world that nobody fully understands, and you're trying to make it work for you, and you didn't even understand it.

SPEAKER_00 42:56

So, okay. So, what have you learned now? Because we talked about the challenges you were having and some things you discovered in the midst of it. Uh-huh. So, what have you learned now about managing that, managing your day-to-day, managing maybe even challenges with making certain decisions and everything, so that in the long term you benefit yourself and being able to also avoid being burned out with everything.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

Um, I learned that uh finding a way to manage my ADHD would lead to more calm and peace, more ability to think clearly. And when that happens, then you do make better decisions. I do not make unwise. Spending decisions as often.

SPEAKER_00 44:05

We all do it a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 44:07

A little bit. But now I look more at okay, do I legit need that? Or this is where you know you need to spend this money, so you need to hold on to that so you can do X, Y, and Z. I have ended working relationships with people when I knew that financially it was not working out and I wasn't going to be able to continue to support that working relationship anymore, even though they were extremely patient with me and willing to work with me, but it's not fair to them because the reality is everybody's time is money. So I put respect on that. And I'm okay now with breaking off the relationship, so to speak. I'm okay with being more upfront with the people that I work with and being honest with them and saying, look, I have ADHD. I might forget to text you back. I might forget to email you back. I might forget. And so they get it. I prepare them so that they know, not to put it on them to reach back out to me, but to let them know I'm not deliberately trying to not build a relationship with you or anything along that, along those lines. I also learned to have grace with myself. Be a little gentle with myself, to be patient with myself. I learned that when my brain, even if I'm taking my medicine and it's just not a good day, it's not a good mental health day. Maybe I'm having a fibro flair, which is almost daily. Maybe it's my rheumatoid arthritis, whatever it is. You know what? Maybe today is the day that you're supposed to lay in the bed and listen to some audiobooks or watch a K-drama. Or maybe today's the day that you're just supposed to sit on your computer and work with chat and create a bunch of social media posts for your podcast. How do I I've learned how to adjust using my energy when I need to use my energy in the physical sense of I need to sit here, I need to research it, I need to do this. And when do I need to use my energy and go, you know what? I don't need to use it at all. I don't need to use my mental, physical, emotional energy. So it takes balance. It I shouldn't say balance because again, that goes against kind of what I teach. I don't feel like we have balance. When you look at a gymnast on a balanced beam, they look like they're balancing. But in reality, their toes are gripping the beam. Their body is doing subtle gestures to keep them looking like they're balanced on the beam so they can make their next move. So that's why I say I don't believe in balance, but I do what it takes to give me some semblance of balance in the things that I'm doing. If that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 47:11

No, it does make sense. And it almost sounds like to um a smart use of the increase in flexibility and freedom that a lot of people are looking for by being entrepreneurs. When you're working for someone else, the way you use your time in those ways and your energy, sometimes it's like look down upon. You have to justify it, you gotta get permission to do it. And in this case, while there there is a lot more risk involved because it's this is your company. So it's your money. The whole one of the biggest things, the whole point of it is you're supposed to have a little more control over how you do things. And so using that wisely in a way that benefits you in the way that your brain works is probably a good decision, right?

SPEAKER_02 47:55

It is, and it's also understanding that okay, if I take today off, you know, it's like the spoon theory. If I'm save all my spoons today, that means I gotta make sure I'm giving them to them tomorrow. And if I'm gonna borrow from my spoons from tomorrow, today, I can't do as much tomorrow because I'm not gonna have as many spoons. So, you know, it's working through all of that too. And I um the other thing I will say too is that it goes, it's learning how to use the things that are available to you so you can have that flexibility. Do you know that most entrepreneurs are neurodivergent? Because a lot of us have a challenging time working a typical nine to five so-called job.

SPEAKER_01 48:47

We love remote work, a lot of us. We don't have the people.

SPEAKER_02 48:54

We like the flexibility because we don't know when we're going to be at our best. Some nights I am at my best working overnight, and you know, I have worked overnight till my husband got up at six in the morning. I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna go to bed now. And I've been up 24 hours, 36 hours working. Not saying that's good. I'm not saying that's necessarily a good thing, but sometimes you get into that rhythm and that hyper focus mode, and I'll be like, look, they'd be like, what do you want? Bring me some hot tamales, some red vines, cherry coke, a pineapple fanta, and some funions.

SPEAKER_00 49:31

I'm all working hard with the funkiest breath, but yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 49:38

Hey, but I get her done. And then there's other times when I'm just like, I know I'm not going to produce what I want to produce today, so what can I do to feel productive? But that's also where, you know, honestly, using AI has really come in handy for me.

SPEAKER_01 49:58

Really?

SPEAKER_00 49:59

So we had a couple minutes left, so I have a couple of final questions for you. One, is there a misconception that people have about entrepreneurship with disability that you feel like you should challenge?

SPEAKER_02 50:16

They feel like many of us that have various disabilities are not able to run a business. If you have some sort of physical disability, whether it's a mobility concern or otherwise, you're not able to run a business. They feel that if you think differently, if you have ADHD, you can't sit still long enough to run a business. ADHD becomes my superpower in my business. You tell me that you want to figure out how to generate um revenue streams and you love opera and k-pop, um, I don't know, and Bruce Lee movies. I guarantee you give me 24 hours, I'm gonna give you multiple revenue streams. That's my superpower. Other people be like, girl, first of all, they're not even all from the same country. What do you mean? Um, so people don't often recognize that just because someone operates in the world differently from them, that they can run an effective business. And nine times out of ten, not only can they run an effective business, they're gonna run rings around you because they see the world from a different perspective that you are not looking at, excuse me, that you're not looking at you're not paying attention to.

SPEAKER_00 51:46

She said it, y'all. She said it. And then finally, what advice would you give to a neurodivergent person or someone who has chronic illness, anything like that? Someone like that who really wants to start their own business, what advice would you give them?

SPEAKER_02 52:09

That's uh a little multi-layered. Um, and so I'll try to keep it brief. First, yeah, I know, right? Me, um, first, know your limitations. And you may not know all of your limitations yet. Trust me, running a business is going to test you in every regard. But if you start off knowing, like, okay, I can work three to four hours out of the day and still be comfortable, then know your limitations. One of the things that I did, I had people for years asking me to start a business and to do all these things, and I was like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. And granted, some of them still didn't come to me when I did start my business. So I'm glad I listened to myself. But one of the things that I also encourage people to do, do not start your business until you can physically visualize in your mind's eye what you're going to be doing every day. I knew what I wanted to do, but it wasn't until literally one day I was sitting, I was just sitting and just I don't know, thinking, I guess. And I was like, you know what? I would get up in the morning around this time. And yeah, I would do this first, and then this, and then I would spend a few hours doing this, and I could literally see myself walking through the day. I didn't do it once, I saw it at least three times. And by then I said, I'm ready to launch my business. I know exactly what I'm gonna do every day. And I and in all honesty, when I launched my business, I was doing exactly what I thought I was gonna be doing every day. Now, granted, that changed over time. So know your limitations. Wait till you can truly visualize what you're going to be doing every day. Realize it's going to be hard and it's probably going to be harder because we're dealing with I don't want to necessarily say challenges because they're not challenges, but we are dealing with unique circumstances most people do not deal with. So we have to find ways to work within those circumstances.

SPEAKER_01 54:40

And always, always some realistic advice.

SPEAKER_02 54:44

Yeah. And then always, always show up and be your true authentic self. You will find your tribe. You will find the people that will support you and open doors for you. And there's a lot more business advice I can give, but those are the main one main ones I would give for people that have chronic illness, that are neurodivergent, and are thinking about going down this path. Start there. You can get the rest, like sponsors and mentors, and coaches and all that stuff, but start there and be realistic about your finances. It's usually best to start your business while you're still working, as hard as that sounds. Because now you got you've got something funding your dream. I was in a position at the time where my well, because my husband was working, I was able to leave my job. I had my 401k, I have my pension, and I had some inheritance. Now again, ADHD's out of control, so I'm not saying I always used all that money wisely, but I had something to start with. If you don't have some of those things to start with and fall back on, work while you work a regular job while you're doing so it'll pay for your dream. It'll fund your dream. It'll be so much easier in that sense financially. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 56:17

Okay. Well, before we wrap up this part, do you have anything else to add about the conversation we've said to we've had today?

SPEAKER_02 56:26

Um, the only other thing that I wanted to circle back to is let AI become your friend. I use um not to necessarily promote any particular AI, but I've tried a couple of ones. I use chat, I started training chat, I had people teach me how to train chat so that it speaks in my voice, relates to me, so on and so forth as best as a computer can. But I literally told chat, I have this, this, this, this, and this. Here's the type of work I do, the business I run, etc., etc. Here are the things that are important to me, that are non-negotiable. Here are the time blocks on my calendar. Please arrange a schedule for me that will allow me to conserve my energy, work on my business, and achieve my goals. And it took all that into consideration and popped out for me a great schedule. And I've had to tweak it a couple of times because then I was like, oh, well, now I don't need to do this, I can do this, or whatever. When I tell you that AI has become my friend in so many ways, I can pour all my thoughts into AI, say, I need you to organize it and create a document organizing it, et cetera, et cetera, it will do it. I've had, I name my chat Cece. I've had CeCe go, um, girl, you got way too many thoughts. We're gonna put that in the parking lot right now. Like literally, it has said we're putting that in the parking lot. I've had Cece say, please don't come back and ask me one more thing about blah, blah. But my point is, is if you use it and you use it to your advantage, you do you, you can work smarter and not harder. You can organize your thoughts, you can work through a lot of things in your business that you don't need to pay tens of thousands of dollars to a coach to do. And that way you can invest in a real coach that's going to help you with certain things, not the coach that's gonna say, Let me show you how I made $10,000 in 10 minutes. No. Someone who really is gonna teach you how to build and sustain your business.

SPEAKER_00 58:46

Okay. You know. Um, I'm gonna add my two cents in on this part because I know that there are some people who are listening to this who have a very strong opinion of using generative AI at all. And I understand that there are a lot of things that go into whether or not using any of the AI tools is a good thing or a bad thing, listen. If you are ethically opposed to using it, don't worry about that advice. That one that wasn't for you. Don't don't worry about it. If you don't have that sort of thought process on it, this is probably very helpful information. Um, realistically, a lot of us in the workplace, especially if you are working in a corporate office job, the AI is happening at you anyway. It's in your face and it's it's it's being incorporated into your work. It is yelling at you from your computer screen to use it. So if you're in that position, then the advice that Shy has given will probably be very helpful and practical if you do choose to use it every day. Well Sha, thank you. I feel like I've learned a ton about your what you do for work and then even like your journey and even having business. I feel like I've learned, and I'm not being funny, I'm being dead serious.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:12

Well, I appreciate that. There's a lot to it, and um, you know, maybe one day we'll circle back and talk about some other things. And I thank you, Lex, for your time. Those were very insightful questions, and I appreciate you wanting to know and understand more. So now you know Tommy got a job.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:29

She does. All right, Shai.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:33

Ain't paying me nothing. I'm scared. Hey, gotta add levity to a situation. Anyway, until the next time, folks, we'll talk to you soon. Bye. Bye. Thanks for squirreling with us.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:53

Have questions? Want to share your experience or other feedback privately with us? You can email us at bg bgsquirrel at gmail.com. That's bgbgsquirrel at gmail.com.