Episode 9: Mastering Tryouts: How to Prepare, Stand Out, and Succeed

In Episode 9 of Locked IN! Basketball, hosts Nick DeFeo and Jason Shea dive deep into the high-pressure world of basketball tryouts. Whether you're a player gearing up for the season, a parent looking to support your child, or a coach managing the process, this episode has you covered.

From preparation tips for players to advice for parents navigating cut day, Nick and Jason share personal stories, coaching insights, and actionable strategies to help you succeed. Learn how to stand out on the court, stay ready when opportunity knocks, and handle adversity with resilience.

This episode also includes:

Why listening and hustle can make or break your tryout.
Tips for parents to positively support their athlete.
Real stories about overcoming rejection, including Nick’s journey from being cut to becoming a college basketball captain.
Stay locked in with us for all things basketball! Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share the podcast on YouTube and Facebook, and follow us on X at LockedIn_Basketball.

Get ready for tryouts and your best basketball season yet. Time to get locked in! 🎙️🏀

Transcript

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Welcome to Locked In Basketball, your source for everything basketball. My name is Nick DeFeo, alongside my co host Jason Shea. We dive into all things hoops from recruiting tips and training advice to hot takes in the latest news. Whether you're a player, coach, parent, or a fan, we've got you covered. Don't forget to subscribe and follow us for more great content every week. Time to get locked in. Locked In Basketball on YouTube, Facebook. Locked In underscore basketball on X. Coach, how you doing today? I'm doing great. It's dark out at five o'clock. It's getting cold, so it feels more and more like basketball season every day. We are, uh, we are approaching the season, which we just talked about. Um, both obviously excited for, but big season coming up for you guys. So I'm sure you're, you're ready to go here in a couple of weeks. Yeah, we, we've seen enough of each other in open gyms and workouts and everything else. So I think every, everyone in the program, coaches and players. I think across the country, all the teams are feeling the same way. A lot of excitement, and we're all absolutely ready to go. Yeah. You feel, you feel that itch. You know, you get the couple weekends on, um, or the last, the last weekend of college basketball just getting tipped off on tv. You had the prime time games on Tuesday night with, uh. Kentucky and Duke and what a great game that was, but you can start to see it a little bit more and you get ready for it. It's like, all right, now it's time, you know, get into the season. Uh, what a perfect segue into our episode tonight, which is, Uh, trial preparation, um, November 15th is the typical day for most schools and, excuse me, most states across the country to get started with their basketball season. Not in our state, Nick. Not in our state. Yeah, not in ours. We're December 5th. We're a little later. Uh, December 5th. The last state in the union to get started, so we've got the longest wait here. Yeah, it's unfortunate. And I had to play through that. Obviously, it was always actually the day, the Monday after Thanksgiving when it used to be. Yep. They bumped up the football playoffs, so now we're December 5th, which is awful. That's a whole nother episode. I'm just kind of getting away. You know, well, I think we'll put this out as a preview for another episode. But the idea of the multi sport athlete, I completely understand it. I appreciate it. I know that if you play more sports as a young athlete, it develops your muscles and everything else better. And you become a better athlete. But the reality now with high school sports is It's very simple. It's so difficult to be a multi sport athlete and be successful. And our rules are built around multi sport athletes and our calendar dates. And even though sometimes dependent on the state can kind of be messed up to hold another conversation. But we deal with it here where football runs. If you make the championship game full two weeks into the season and a basketball player would have a day maybe to get ready to play a basketball game. And that if you're a serious basketball player, how can you possibly participate in football, knowing that that's a possibility? Um, but we'll, we'll talk about that. Today's about tryouts and we're getting started. So that's a very interesting topic, I think, for parents and for athletes. How do you prepare? For your tryouts, what should parents expect in preparing their children for an experience that is a little bit different than if they were in middle school, for example? Yeah, we're going to dive into a few different things that players should be aware of. They'll obviously get the coach's perspective from you, which is exciting. And then we'll kind of just go from there and see what, uh, Where the episode brings us, um, you know, and we can start as, you know, a freshman, uh, in high school where new, new school, obviously, uh, they're getting prepared. They've had the first quarter under their belt. Maybe they played a fall season. Maybe they didn't, but they're preparing now for the basketball season. And here we are, uh, about two weeks away, um, three weeks from tonight, actually, uh, from that first tryout for a freshman. Um, and what. What, in your opinion, should we expect for a freshman or if you put yourself in a freshman's shoes and your son's obviously a freshman and going into his freshman year, which is exciting for him, but him and his boys, what are they expecting for tryouts and where should they prepare? What are they expecting? I think that's, uh, man, that's hard for me to answer. I try to relate back and you probably can too. To try out when we went through it. I think that the first thing, uh, as a coach I think about is I do try to put myself in their shoes. This is the first time where they're getting ready to do something where they may actually not make the team. For most players, most players, I'm not saying that a a u doesn't make cuts, but they don't. If you don't make the A team, you make the B team. If you don't make the B team, you find a C team. You'll find, you'll, you'll find somewhere to play probably. And middle school, it's the same thing. So I think the first, uh, obstacle is just for those guys to relax, knowing the possibility that they may not make it. And, um, prepare themselves the best they can. Start out with just being in great shape. Find some time to go and, and get in the court and just sprint. run a lot. Hopefully they're playing enough. Freshmen sometimes miss those opportunities, but, uh, they've got to run, they've got to come in in shape so that at least in, in, um, when they get into the first practice or try out, the last thing they want to be worried about is, is inability to get up and down the court. Yeah, that's, you know, more or less half the battle getting up and down the court is looking the part, you know, and obviously a lot of the freshmen that are getting into these gyms and going to tryouts and they see that their sophomores, juniors, seniors, maybe the kids that they've been watching play for the last couple of years are, they're now on the same court with them and it's a little, uh, anxiety ridden and overwhelming, but being in shape is something that they can control that hopefully they've either played a fall sport or, you know, Um, I've been doing the conditionings with the team in the fall, uh, and that's something that, you know, more or less you can do at any point where you can prepare yourself and say, Hey, you know, I may not be the best skilled or, you know, maybe I have an off day with, with my, my shot or my ball handling, but I'm going to run up and down the court, I'm going to be prepared and kind of bust my ass and, you know, really play defense, you know, play playoff. I think the defensive end of the floor is where some kids can really flourish because. Um, they are in good shape, uh, or, you know, they may not be the best ball handler or shooter, but they can actually defend and, and, and guard a ball, uh, a ball screen or get a rebound and kind of push the ball to the floor and maybe start getting into some communication stuff. And that's where they can kind of stand out. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, definitely. That's a great point. Stand out in all the right ways. And I'll even take it, uh, back one more step. Parents, have your forms in on time. Make sure your physical is up to date. The requirements that are there, uh, when you're getting ready to try out, it, it seems so silly and simple, but it's not. And I've had so many guys who try out and then they show up day one. They're already nervous. They're running on the court. They're excited. We're calling attendance. You didn't call my name. You didn't sign up. Your parents didn't fill out the form. You don't have an updated physical. You can't try out today and we try out right at butts right up to the weekend. The school nurse is gone and now there's this kid who, okay, the coaches are, most coaches are going to make an exception, especially for freshmen. We're going to let him try out, but you're really not making a great first impression. It's not usually the kid's fault. Uh, but at the same time as a coach, you want to get started with your regular practices. And now you have this player who's still technically a trial player, um, not ready to go. So that's one fill out all the forms to be a great listener. In tryouts, you're going to have a different level of intensity at most schools for that tryout. You're going to have whistles blowing. You're going to have multiple coaches in the gym. They're going to be shouting instructions, get to this line, two balls in that line, and they're going to quickly explain whatever drills they want you to do. You really need to just pay attention. If you're not positive, don't jump in the front of the line. You don't want to, you know, you don't need to be that anxious. You're going to get your opportunity. Make sure you know what's going on. Listen. So that you don't stand out for the wrong reason. Coaches want to see that a player can listen and pay attention. It's a very underrated, I think, skill set, and it stands out in a tryout setting. Something that you can easily do, um, and going back to your first point, I'll never forget. My freshman year of high school, sophomore, junior, senior year, my, uh, not my freshman, sophomore year of college, my junior and senior year of college, Every first tryout, we had kids who were on the team and should have been a varsity player or a good basketball player, sitting and watching from day one because they didn't have their forms in. I'll never forget it. Every single year. It never fails. Never fails. Some won, some way, some time. and I didn't hand their forms and can't try out either day one or day two. And like you said, butt's up to the weekend, so that stinks. Um, but listening is, is, isn't underrated in skill. You know, I'll put an emphasis on the skill because most kids are going to be eager to jump in the front and showcase that, Hey, I'm ready. You know, what they first one in the drill and they screw it up. And then the coach is even more aggrave. And we're screaming and we're sending guys to the line to make sure, you know, we're going to run because we did it wrong. Where, if you had just listened and put two basketballs in that line instead of four, you know, you would have been just fine. But it is a great point, especially for freshmen. Especially in a new place, a new gym, a new school, a new coach. Make sure you understand what's going on. If you don't know, you can always ask. And I think most kids are going to be afraid to ask because they are freshmen. They don't want to seem like the kid who doesn't know anything. But if you just ask the question either to the coach, pull him aside, or ask one of the teammates right there who has been there before and say, Hey, you know, I'm going to hang back and you show me what the drill looks like, you know? Yeah, that's 100 percent correct. And then I think to don't get outside yourself in tryouts, don't try to do things you're not capable of doing, or you haven't done before. You know, tryouts are tough, though, because you do get players out there. It's not a coached environment. It's a coached environment, but what I mean is the system's not in, you're not installed. It's not a typical practice plan, most likely. So you're dealing with kids who are coming out there and they're trying to prove themselves. So it becomes more like a pickup environment. And that sometimes favors the guys who take the most shots. Who definitely favors the point guards. the bigs really will struggle to get the ball in these situations. So if you're a big, what can you do? Engage in ball screens with the player who has the ball a lot. Force the defense to make a decision and then that's going to force you into the action. Grab offensive rebounds as often as possible. Box out. If you're a guard and you're off the ball and you're more of a shooter, you're probably in the toughest spot in a tryout or a pickup game most of the time because you're a little bit more dependent. But again, stand out for those other things. You mentioned it earlier. Hustling, playing great defense, taking a charge, offensive rebounding. Most good coaches are going to have drills in place to watch kids shoot. So, they're going to get a sense if that player can shoot or not. Whether or not the ball goes in. I could watch a guy take 10 shots. I'm pretty sure if he's a good or not so good shooter. Right, that the guys don't, you know, you don't need to see a player shoot the ball a bunch, but stay within yourself and then understand it is a tryout. Don't get nervous or frustrated if you're not touching the ball, uh, you're going to have opportunities, but make opportunities to stand out in other ways. That was going to be my next question for you. Um, you know, what, what if you're a player who's trying out and maybe you're a good player, maybe you're just trying to try to prove your worth on the court and there's another kid who is taking every shot on every single possession. What would you tell? Uh, freshman that's trying out who, who is, you know, either not getting the ball enough or just watching this other player get, you know, 15, 20 shots. That's a tough one because what would I say as a player might be different than what somebody else might say as a player. Um, there are some guys who are more outgoing and more willing to put themselves out there and there's other guys who are quiet. If I'm on the court with that player and I, even as a freshman, I go looking back in my high school career so long ago. I would certainly have at least said something to that player when you have a time out and you have a break. Um, Hey, we got to, you know, we need an opportunity here. Let's move it around a little bit. I would find that opportunity to talk to him about it. But it's very challenging now, you know, so again, how many times are you going to get steals on defense? Maybe not that many, but you really just need to stand out in other ways. Look for opportunities to get on a different with a different group. If you can most of the time you have multiple tryout days without being annoying. Maybe mention the coach, you know, can I try to you know, grab some minutes on that with that group tomorrow or with that player, you know, whatever just make a little bit of a note. The good thing is most coaches are going to see that and hopefully you have a coach who's common that other player down who's taking too many shots. You know, like, hey John, you're going to make the team, man, like, let's see if somebody else can make a shot today. That's what I would say to the player. I'm not going to yell at a kid, but I'm just going to try to encourage them in a positive way. But let's let some other guys get an opportunity. And that's what, I think, looking back to when I was a freshman in high school, which is getting up there now, um, you know, I think, I don't know if I would have said anything specifically to the kid in the moment, but I would have known to try to stand out in other ways, like you said. I would have been encouraging. Maybe give the kid who's taking all the shots, maybe a couple of high fives and say, Hey, you know, take, take the next one or take the next good one. Or, Hey, you know, you had, you had so and so open on the wing, you know, make sure you see him next time. But I definitely would have been sprinting my ass up and down the court. I would have been, um, you know, working hard on defense, trying to get every rebound just to try to spruce it up a little bit. You know, yes, I'm, I am well aware. I was, I was always well aware as a player that yes, this kid's taking, you know, too many shots. But. But one, I'm not going to knock them and I'm not going to talk junk in the tryout because it's not going to come across well. Um, but two, I'm just going to try to encourage them and say, Hey, you know, tough shot, but let's make sure we move the ball. Let's try to get it inside and let's try to get a little better one because a, we're ultimately trying to win here. You know, whether it's a tryout, whether it's a game, everyone wants to win because winning makes everybody look good. So we want to make sure we're moving that basketball. So, you know, going along with other, maybe some other pitfalls, um, You know, what, what about a parent who can't watch their son try out? What would you say to parents who can't watch their son? Um, and it's just going to get the information back through them. You know, how, how do they handle tryouts for their, either themselves or their kid? Who knows what the program you're trying out for does. I know in our program, parents are not allowed in the gym. Not for tryouts and not for practices. I think that that is probably more the norm. Um, I don't think most schools. I don't think most schools are allowing parents in their tryouts. If they are, I think they shouldn't be. Um, it's too sensitive of an environment and at the high school level, you need to get away from that. It's no longer the town travel team. The advice for parents is just to be encouraging and positive. Don't add pressure. You're going to ask how it went. Your son is going to have really just his viewpoint, his point of view of how it went. So he's not going to have what a coach has in terms of what they think or how it went, but just be as positive as you can with your son or daughter throughout tryouts, preparing them for whatever's coming. You know, a lot of parents will have a sense. Some won't on where their, uh, their son or daughter stands and making the team just be positive. And understand that the team has coaches, hopefully, multiple coaches who are doing their best to evaluate a lot of players, depending on the program. And that this is a different level, and you gotta be prepared to deal with failure if that comes, or success if that comes. You know, um, but yeah, you can't get in the gym and I, even if they allow you in the gym, don't show up and go to the gym. I think that's the worst thing you could do for, for your child at a tryout. If they allow you in the gym, stay home. You're not helping them. Yeah. It's just going to add sponsor multiple pressure onto your kid's shoulders and say, Hey, not only do I have a big day today for tryouts, but also my parent is sitting there watching me. And if I do something wrong, then maybe, you know, I get critiqued on the way home, in the car. Which is the worst place you can do that, you know. And as a parent, I think Whether you obviously see your kid try out, which I don't assume you would, but I will you know, well, that's a different story Lucky for you, but most parents are is it are not Most parents are not going to You know, so when they do get in the car, you know encourage them ask them how it went but also So, you know, understand that tryouts are going to last two to three days. Maybe it goes four days over the weekend. Um, you know, encourage them to say, Hey, you know, I'm glad you had a good day today, but let's, you know, let's get ready for tomorrow. Let's get your homework done and let's get some good sleep so we can prepare for tomorrow. Or if your son or daughter comes home and says, you know, they didn't play that well, you know, all right, you're good enough. You know, we trust you and let's get, let's get ready for tomorrow and the next couple of days so that you can show what your capabilities are. I've had these conversations a lot with parents as we get into October and November and kids who are trying out and I've had a couple kids who I train who didn't make their town travel teams last year and didn't make the team this year and, um, which is a cool feeling, but just, just encouraging them to say the right things, you know, and not to put their kid down as the, as a sixth grader or seventh grader or eighth grader. And I try to tell parents like, The development process doesn't happen until ultimately high school or later in the high school years. So stay patient and just encourage them to like the sport. And that's, that's something that's maybe gone by the wayside, you know, in today's day and age. But, you know, as we do get into high school, it's, it's still kids who are 14, 15 years old still need that encouragement, you know, to, to continue to play hard, to continue to play better, but also, When they're done, love them, get the homework done, let's get some sleep, or let's spend some quality time together, and then let's move on to the next day. There's nothing better you can do. Oh, and it's not the end all be all. It might feel like it at the time, but it's not. So you do have to prepare your child for that, and you know, positivity goes a long way. And that's not softness. I think that sometimes positivity is confused with softness. You're saying it's okay, so Well You're not, you're definitely not going to help your son if he, if he comes home and didn't make it or didn't have a good session by getting on him or her. You're not going to help them by calling the coach that, you know, so some parent tips, make sure your kid is there on time, make sure they're there on time. We talked about the forms, get them there on time. Make sure they have their sneakers, help, help them out, help them pack their equipment, you know, help them get that stuff ready. So especially early, those, those first few days when they're nervous, they don't have a locker yet because it's not assigned at this point. Don't talk to the coach. If you're a parent early on, don't, you know, it's very simple sneakers, shorts, t shirt show up 20 minutes early of the tryout time. Be ready to go. That's it. Be there for pickup time. That's, that's all you really need. Don't be over involved early on. It's also a little bit of a red flag for coaches when they see that, you know, if you're asking a million questions, even though information was emailed out and maybe you didn't, you know, you're not paying attention. Well, all of a sudden as a coach, you're saying, Oh man, you know, if this kid's a fringe kid, I'm going to go with the other fringe kid because I'm not going to deal with these potential headaches right there, you know, so. And don't order any custom gear. For the trials, you know, no, you can still be a super fan, man. Like it's all good. If you want to order some gear, that's, you know, There's so much trials, you know, from the coaches perspective, which I didn't think we were really going to go into. I know you've gone through it. Although I guess as a coach being a prep school coach, you've recruited your kids. So not so much that you've gone through tryouts. So, you know, you've had to make tough decisions of kids. I know that from being around you and even our program you had to make tough decisions with whether it was removing a kid or suspending kids. So you've dealt with the kids who are disappointed and certainly with playing time you dealt with kids who are disappointed, but you haven't been through the cut process. And that's the worst thing. And I think it's hard to convey because a parent is so focused on their kids happiness, which is so understandable that when their child does not make a team, a lot of times it's for the first time and they come home and they're devastated. They're losing. They lost. They lose a lot of confidence. This is all real stuff. And then as a parent. your instincts are, protect them, obviously comfort them. But then on the outside, when you're not in front of them, anger, you know, frustration with the coaches. They're the ones who did this to your child. And I understand that emotion. That's a real emotion. And it's hard when you have those conversations with parents to just say, Look, it's not a personal thing. I do understand, but you only have so many spots. It's such a challenge to do that. And it's the worst part of being a coach is making cuts. Yeah, I haven't been part of that process yet. A little bit with the AAU side of things. But with my my day job, I definitely get a ton of it being the Dean of students at a high school is interesting in terms of what what the parent reaction is, but I can only imagine that it's very similar. Um, to a, to a parent and their son or daughter getting cut from a sports team where they've played that sport since I was six or seven years old, you know, my, how can my son or daughter be that bad where they can't make a spot? But, um, you know, let's say, let's say a son or daughter comes home, what parent tip would you give to, uh, uh, I guess it's along the same lines that we just talked about, but a kid who doesn't make it, you know, as, as a parent, are you, obviously you're frustrated, but Is it immediate encouragement to stick with it? Is it, is it, all right, let's move on to the next sport, you know, the next season or the next thing that you love? Um, you know, what's your perspective on that and what parents should do if, if their child gets cut? Well, let's start out with, I'm so happy that you're joining the staff. And I think that this is the perfect time for you to work on your experience. And I'm looking forward to seeing you handle all the cut conversations this year. Yeah, yeah. What would I say to the parents? You know you you should have an idea of as a parent Hopefully you have an idea of your son or daughter's level Maybe you do maybe actually maybe you don't the more I think about I don't actually I would say most don't I think most don't Yeah, so it is worth Maybe at that point the coach has given some feedback to your child I don't think it's out of the, out of the realm of being a reasonable parent to send an email and how do you send that email to a coach? You send it in a way that you acknowledge. I'm sure you have a lot of really great players trying out. Of course, we're disappointed for our son that didn't make it. I would just love some feedback on do you think there's a possibility in the future if he were to work on it, you know, that there's a future path for him at your school, maybe another school, whatever it is, but just can you give me some feedback? Because the answer might be I don't see a pathway if the coach is being honest. There are a lot of kids who do try out for, you know, our team sometimes and, you know, they're not close. And they're coming from a school that I've had guys try out. And that's just, they're starting, they're beginning. And that's not their fault. And it's not the parents fault. They're just like, we want to try out basketball because they see it on the list. Not every parent is in tune to like everything that goes on in the sporting world. It's not their fault But at that moment it should become pretty obvious And if your parent asked for that feedback in a respectful way, and I think most coaches will give it And then you're able to guide your son or daughter to say, Hey, why don't you try this sport or that sport? And I've seen so many players who've gotten cut and gone on to be all state athletes in other sports. They were really good athletes, just not very skilled. So don't bang your head against the wall if it's not really a possibility. If you're a good player, trying for a good program, if you just had a really bad tryout. There are occasions where you don't make the team and there's so much improvement that you come back and you're able to make the team in subsequent years that it is possible, but it's very challenging. Everybody says the Michael Jordan story. I'm watching Ted Lasso again for like the third time. And it's funny when they just kind of go over the reality of that example. Michael Jordan got cut as a freshman. Michael Jordan got cut or was it a sophomore from the varsity, the varsity team, he was, yeah, he played JV like that wasn't so normal at the time. And then he ended up growing a bunch. And he was like an All American in one year. So that's not to say it's impossible if you get cut. It's just going to be more challenging because you're missing a year now and you're falling further behind. Yeah, I think just to kind of piggyback off of what you said, I think asking for feedback, not only as a parent, but even a player, asking for feedback is one of the most powerful, um, things that you can do. Although at some times it's going to be humbling. But asking for feedback is going to be substantial for future growth. Um, and the reason is because you're going to get the response from somebody who has been invested for their career, um, and what they do for their career or, you know, a part time job. Uh, but somebody who's going to really be invested in that sport and it's going to give you the truth for the most part, give you the truth. It would hope most coaches would give the truth, but. You know, it's going to be something where you can digest that information over the course of the next two, three, four days or maybe the next week and say, Hey, is this something that I really want to do? You know, can I take this feedback and run with it and kind of push myself to get to the next level or get to tryouts next year and make the team? Um, or is it something that say, Hey, you know, I understand it's not something I want to put my work into. And then I'm just going to move on and, you know, move on to the next sport or, you know, whatever they do off in the side. Yeah. And I think it's also important to note to everybody and just remind everybody. Every player eventually hits a wall that they're probably not going to break through. Shouldn't say every player. 99%, 99. 9 percent of players are going to hit that point where they're not, their careers are not going to move on. Some hit it earlier than others. It could be that town travel team. It could be the freshman high school team, the junior varsity high school team, the varsity team. Not being able to play in college, not making the pros. At some point, you're gonna not make an all-star team. Now we're going crazy here, but not making an Olympic team. Yep. At some point every player probably does, with the exception of, of such a few, the elitist, right? The, the, the elite of the elite. So you're gonna hit that point. Do you love the game or do you not love the game? If you love the game and that you're so passionate about it, then you're going to find a way or an avenue to be involved in the game. So if you don't make the team, most coaches are really excited to bring on a team manager who could be a part of the team and an integral part of the team. You look at the college game, many of those team managers end up being successful coaches. Many of them launched successful head coaching careers and they began as team managers at the college level. I've had guys at the high school level be team managers for me and go on to be team managers at the college level. They've actually turned it into something that's been long term. That's one way. All the content creation, we're doing it right now. There's so many opportunities to get involved in content creation with basketball if you love the game. Or maybe it's broadcasting. You talk to your local high school. Most of the high schools are streaming games. The majority of them do not broadcast. And if you are interested in basketball, you could start maybe a career, a hobby, an interest and get involved. There's so many ways. And then of course you could play intramural basketball at a lot of schools where you're still able to play or club level or AAU just because you don't make that freshman team. or JV or varsity team does not mean basketball has been taken away from you. It just may have opened up an opportunity or a pathway to experience basketball in a way that's more appropriate for you at that stage of your career. Most, most college managers are managers that move on to try to make it a career. We talked to Sam Ferry early on, uh, Sam was a manager, uh, but former high school player who ended up being a mana coach. Um, he realized that, um, you know, we talked to Mustapha Brown on, on the last episode and he said that he was just motivated by not being selected for McDonald's All American. That's the, the elite side of things and the highest level side of things. So. Um, it's a great point, you know, not, not being a player doesn't mean it's going to open up different avenues for you. Um, and that's, that's something that is, is powerful, uh, for, for a lot of kids to hear and a lot of parents to hear. I think it's just because. You know, your son or daughter is not the best player on the court. It doesn't mean they can't be a broadcaster or, um, you know, uh, a podcaster or write a newsletter, you know, for, for a local team or local high school or kind of create their own way that way. So that's pretty cool. I think too, the other part of it is, you know, screw the coach. I'm going to get better. He made a mistake. She made a mistake that happens. I know you've made mistakes. I've made mistakes. I've had kids. I almost cut this close to cutting and one comes to mind, uh, Andrew Lazar. I don't say we're close to cutting him, but he maybe we were at one point is freshman to sophomore year. Just didn't really see it. And God, we were so wrong. That kid ended up being what would have been all state player. It was COVID year and everything else so short in seasons and didn't really get that opportunity, but ended up playing at the college level and as a starter and play in the final four. That kid can continue to work hard, made the team. We didn't make the, we would have been a travesty if we made that mistake, but we almost did, I do remember like, you know, just comparing him, he was a little bit slower developing and then all of a sudden, like, you know, we're like, wow, he's so athletic and he's a winner. That was probably the most impressive thing about him, but coaches can be wrong. So you can prove a coach wrong. There's, we've had guys that have gone from the best. Bottom close to being cut to top. I've had guys who were cut who came back and were absolutely impact players Nick you talked about it before we got on today You were cut two years at the college level And that's even harder to give people perspective and we're not gonna spend too much time in college But college is hard because coaches recruit and walk ons are an afterthought and sometimes a pain in the butt, especially if they're good Because then they're going to take spots away from the kids they recruited. You did that. Talk about that a little bit and your experience. Because you went through cuts. Yeah, we went through it. So, my senior year of high school, I played soccer, basketball, volleyball in the spring. Our volleyball team was very good. We were good all through high school. Um, we had lost actually three straight state championships to Staples High School in Westport. Uh, going into our senior year. So Pretty cool story, but anyway, uh, we had a great basketball season. I had a couple schools recruiting me outside of, uh, outside of the state in my senior year and I was kind of put in on hold because I knew volleyball season was coming and I was a good player. So I ended up going through the volleyball season, uh, we ended up losing I think one game, but we ended up meeting Staples in the state championship for the fourth straight year and we beat them, uh, which was pretty awesome. So thank God we ended up beating them, which was. It's basically the end of my high school career. I ended up winning the state championship for volleyball. But I, I held off because I knew I was going to get some interest for volleyball for college. So I actually was getting recruited, uh, for, uh, to play volleyball. Myself, a teammate of mine, and another kid that we played with from another school. So we ended up getting recruited. Uh, so I kind of put the basketball thing on hold for a little bit. Ended up being interested in volleyball. And all three of us actually chose to go to, uh, a school together for volleyball. Middle of the summer, this was, I'll never forget it. We were on, uh, our family vacation. It was, I think the middle of June, or end of June, or maybe it was July a month ago. Pretty much left in the, in the summer before college. And the two kids backed out on me and they said, we're not gonna go to the school, we're not gonna play volleyball. So, oh man. I actually had to scramble. It was like, I think it actually was the end of July, so I had to scramble anyway. Western England University or college at the time was my number one. Um, that's where I wanted to go. Just for school in general, I love the campus. So, um, I ended up going back, committing to this, committing to Western New England, no sports for nothing. So I was just going to, just going to be a student, whatever, um, ended up reaching out to the coach a couple of times, uh, in the summer, just to see what the interest level would be and minimal response. You know, I wasn't a kid who was recruited, so it was a minimal response. So, um, you know, I was like, whatever, screw it. So freshman year, go through it. I would, it's like late fall, uh. Not sure if I'm going to try out or not. Ended up not trying out my freshman year. Um, so I went through it, kind of just enjoyed my freshman year of college and then moved on. Sophomore year, I get to this, right around this time maybe a couple of weeks prior it's like late October, um and I ended up not trying out again. Uh, so I was like, you know what I want to, but maybe I'll just hold off. So. I think it was the middle of the season. My sophomore year, I was actually at a game. My wife was on the dance team, my wife at the time, but I was, I was there for her, but I was also there for the game. So watching the game and I'm like, this is ridiculous. I can play, you know, I can play with these guys. So, um, it was probably January or February at that point in my. My mind was just like, I know I can play with these dudes, like, just give me an offseason, let me get myself back into shape, and I can actually make it, uh, make the team, I know I can do it. So, we get through that basketball season, that spring, that summer, and then that fall, I'll get to the fall in a second, but that spring and summer, I, you know, bust my ass, play hard, get in the gym. playing pick up, working out with a couple of, uh, buddies of mine who I worked out with and played AD with in high school who ended up going Division 1, um, and played a super hard. So I was working out with them all summer. That was great. And then I get to the fall. The first thing I do was find out who the captains are going to be for that year. Um, and I found the two kids. One of them, I actually knew pretty well just from being in school, uh, with them for the previous two years, but I, I sought them out, got their phone numbers and immediately made sure that. They put me on all the text messages, all group messages that I was going to, or that they were going to have for the team and you know, it was super awkward because they have the team in college, like you have the team, right? So, uh, we, they put me on the group, like they had no problem with doing that because they knew I was, I was a decent player, but they didn't really know what, what to expect from me. So they put me on all the conditionings on all the group things on all the weekends, they texted the group chat and I'm making sure I'm a part of that. Yeah. Uh, I go to play pick up with them and after a couple of times I start to get comfortable. You know, I start to get really comfortable and during the fall, I am also meeting with the coaches, introduce myself, you know, my name is Nick DeFeo, this is where I'm from, this is what my high school career looked like, I'm going to try out for your team. Um, and you know, most coaches are just like, yeah, you know, nice to meet you. You know, looking forward to seeing you play, whatever. Uh, but, but I did it a couple of times, uh, and our, our college coach was actually the athletic director of the school as well. So. Um, I made my way into his office multiple times that fall, um, but again, busted my ass, made sure I was trying to come in first and like all the conditionings, all the sprints we had to run the mile, the weightlifting, I was trying to be the best at everything. Was I? No, because the other guys were still good and we had some good players on that team, but I busted my ass and I wanted to mentally make myself feel like I was going to be the best player on the, on the, on the team and the conditioning, whatever, um, ended up trying to help. It was like a three day tryout and the majority of it was running actually, uh, ended up making the team, which was great, you know, accomplished the goal. But then from there it was like, all right, now, now what do I want to do with this? You know, I made the team, I proved that, um, you know, we were, we were okay. It was my junior year and we weren't that great. Like I think we won six or seven games, which is not, not ideal, but we, um, you know, as, as at that point I had made the, accomplished the goal, I had made the team and now it's. I reverted back to what I saw my sophomore years. Like I can play with these guys. It was like, all right, you know, I see the starting guard. I see the starting shooting guard. Like, I think I'm better than these guys. And it was like our third game of the year. It was against Springfield college, huge rival for Western New England. Um, I think one of our guards got into foul trouble and then the second guard off the bench got into some foul trouble too, so I ended up getting in. Uh, you know, I think I hit a shot, I made an and one, um, and just kind of like chipped away at it from that point and ended up being capped in my senior year, capped in my fifth year. Um, I ended up having a decent team, not great, but a decent team, and I ended up having a great career. I think I scored over like 600 points in college. Um, but all because I, you know, just because I didn't play my freshman or sophomore year, it doesn't mean I was discouraged by that, but it only kind of motivated me once, especially once I saw the kids play and just understood like, Hey, I could play with these guys. I was a good high school player, but I'm of, uh, I'm cut from the cloth where it's like, I'm going to really motivate myself and I'm going to push myself. And kind of like Mustafa, we talked about last week, like, you know, he was slighted a little bit. But he now he's he's pissed off. He's going to really work towards it. It was something similar for me. It was kind of mad that I wanted to try out my freshman or sophomore year because I know I could have made the team then and had a full career probably could have scored a thousand points, which would have been, which would have been awesome. But, you know, seeing those guys play my sophomore year and being like, I know I can play with those guys. It was, it was automatic for me that I was trying out the next year and eventually ended up making the team having a good college career. So that sounds like a great college career. And it's a great lesson too, for, I think. Not just guys aspiring to play in college. It's a college story, but it's also a story that applies to high school. And my high school coach and mentor, who I also coached with, always had a great analogy. Success is where opportunity meets preparation in the road, right? And I thought that was always a great analogy. The key to that analogy though is to take it a step further and understand that you don't know when the intersection is is gonna take place. You don't know how far you have to drive with your work before opportunity intersects, and you have that opport you, you have that chance for success. You don't know when it's happening. So you've gotta continue to prepare. You're preparing and practice. You make the team, you prepare to get on the team. You make the team. Now you could take it at that point and say, I'm there and I'm very satisfied that I made the team after not playing college basketball and not playing high school for almost three years since your career had ended at the, at the high school level. But instead you continue to work and you continue to strive and you continue to grow. We're not going to go into the college recruiting landscape, but again, it's so hard for a walk on to elevate past guys who have been recruited. You have to have a great mindset. You have to have consistency in your work ethic. And not only did you have it, then you get that opportunity and you're successful and you end up scoring 600 points. That's the best case scenario, obviously, but it's still a great lesson for kids that you're going to get into these seasons. Now, what do you do after you make the team? What are your goals now? Did you barely make it? Look around, be honest with your assessment. We've talked about this in a different episode. Assess yourself, have conversations with your coaches weekly. Where do I stand? What do I need to do? How do I improve? I had a player today ask me that. Kid has worked so hard, he's probably the most improved player. And, um, you know, it gets, It's hard to be specific all the time as a coach, but he's doing the right thing Um, he'll certainly I hope be ready when his opportunity comes But just find out now where you want to go once you make the team. I think that's the lesson Continue to pursue, you know and move forward on it until you hit the wall again some point you're going to hit a spot where Somebody's just a little better than you on that team, and that's okay. You still have a love for the game, but while you're in it, keep pursuing whatever that next opportunity is. Yeah, it's, you know, it happens at every level, whether it's the NBA, whether it's college basketball. I mean, Cooper Flagg's probably one of the best players in America, and he, he fumbles the ball away late game, I'm sure. He's, you know, he's not happy with himself, but everybody's gonna hit adversity. Everybody's going to struggle at some point. You know, it really is what you do with it. And in my case, I, I knew I was good enough. Um, you know, and I knew essentially there was a point in the fall where I knew I was going to make the team. And it was probably a week or two before tryouts. I was probably in the best shape of anybody on the whole roster. I could shoot just as good as anybody else. And, you know, the ball handling was fine, but I knew the players. I knew, I knew what to do and I knew how to guard certain people. So there was a point like a week or two before tryouts where I knew I was going to make the team. Which was advantageous to me, um, going into tryouts because it just played with house money. I'm just going to play my ass off and kind of figure it out. But once I did make the team, it's like, it really was, how am I going to get on this floor? Because I, I know I deserve it. And I know I'm good enough. And it was dealing with, The coach not putting me in, just simply not putting me in, um, you know, playing the other guys who he recruited above, which again is understandable because it's, it's college and you recruit kids to play certain positions. And as a coach, if you recruit a kid, you kind of have to prove your point, I guess, to, to a sense. Um, you know, but also dealing with failure, dealing with, uh, having bad days in practice or having, getting into the game and making a mistake. It's like, oh, now the walk, I made a mistake. It's, it's kind of double or triple. If a starter who has been recruited were to make a mistake. So just that ultimate pursuit of what I was trying to get at, um, in, in, in getting on the floor and then ultimately, you know, being a two year captain after that, and being able to say that I had played college basketball was probably one of the coolest things that I've ever done. And I'm looking back on it. I wish I had done more at this point. And, um, you know, and that's, that's something that I guess kids can just Keep keep pursuing keep pushing through and if you aren't think you're doing enough keep working on it If it's you don't think it's good enough. It probably is you just haven't had that success yet. Yep, and Another tip just again for parents and for players. It's never personal. I don't think that's a hard thing That's the hardest thing for me to communicate With my players, but I want so much to communicate it effectively to say that playing time is not personal with me And I don't think it is with most coaches. It's not a personal thing. Making the team is definitely not a personal thing. That as a coach, you respect all the work that's gone in. Now, if you have a kid who hasn't worked, you just, you're gonna cut him. It's just, there's a lot less explaining for me in those situations. The meeting's a lot shorter. In terms of, you know, that meeting, that terrible meeting that you have to have when you are going to cut a player, it's a lot shorter for a kid who hasn't shown up all offseason, but it's never personal that I take no pleasure in doing it. I take no pleasure in a player getting beat up for playing time. You want those guys to be successful. So, but that's hard in the moment to understand. Players equate playing time, players equate, uh, making a team, a roster, as being personal so many times. So it's important that coaches out there, you're developing relationships with your players, so that they understand there is a distinct difference between those two things. Couple of little minor tips I, I just wanted to bring up. At the high school level, you are going to have to adjust with a higher level of intensity, from your coach. You're going to get yelled at. That's a new experience for some players. You're going to get yelled at. That's one. Parents, when you go to games, your kid might get yelled at. That's okay, right? There's a, it's not abusive. Can it be? Some coaches really do a poor job and maybe it can, but for the most part, no, it's not. It's just, it's a higher level of intensity. And the other like minor tip that just drives me crazy, and I, I know I mentioned this to you before as well, don't plan vacations. There's no taking a week off and there's no taking days off. Parents should expect their kids to make the team. And if your kid does make the team, you should fully expect to have practice five to six days a week, depending on your team schedule with games mixed in. You're going to do basketball six out of seven days. You cannot go away for a weekend for a wedding. You're not going away for a week to Florida to just get away. This is not travel basketball where it's okay to miss. It's not okay to miss. You're putting your son or daughter way behind with that coach. Many coaches just kick their kids off to take the kids off the team. If you do that, we do as a sophomore, junior, seniors, freshmen, we're more forgiving. They may have made those plans, but we really try to emphasize to them that you should not be taking vacations or getting away. It's a different, level of basketball. Don't put your kids behind the eight ball. Try to understand this before you get into that spot. And, and then, man, it's really hard for your son or daughter to come back. If you try to take a week off of it, of the season basketball is that sport where it has a ton of holiday vacation, right? Thanksgiving, Christmas break. And then most schools will have some sort of winter break or long weekend in February. Do not take that time off. No, you guys, if your son plays, or daughter plays basketball, you're not taking them skiing during the season. Not doing it. Skiing's not happening. Don't even plan on it. And even on the day off. How are you going to explain that? Tell me how you explain it to the coach when you, when you show up and, you know, they broke their, their leg or got hurt. What happened? We went skiing yesterday. Oh, no big deal. We got a state qualifier tomorrow that, that's, you're supposed to be resting. That's what the day off is for. It's not for, it's such a hard thing. It's family time. It might be something you love to do. My family loves to ski other than me. They tried to take me one time. I stayed on like the kiddie slope and I did eight hours or so full day, did a lesson and everything. I just couldn't do it. You know, I couldn't do it. I kept falling and falling. I thought I got okay at it. My wife took me up, uh, to a decent site. I don't even know if this is even a decent site. It was like literally the first stop past the bunny slopes. And I took the hardest fall. And I was so nervous that I was going to take out everybody around me. Um, and I couldn't get the ski back on. What a horrific But imagine if I'm doing that during the season. I'm, like, I'm taking a big chance. You know, so, you do have to understand that there are some differences at the high school level. You know if you're a parent and the worst thing you could do as a parent is make Your child's life harder with the coach on the team. Don't make it harder. Just make it as easy as possible Just get the schedule and there are no exceptions be there early be ready to pick up on time. Don't miss any days Simple as that ever shoot. It's not that hard. That's it. That's it from the coach right there A lot of good stuff in this episode Try out preparation, uh, preparing for basketball season, whether you're a parent, whether you're a player, getting cut, what happens if you get cut, what to say as a parent if you get cut. Um, you know, players, players have to be extra prepared. Um, it, it comes prior to the season, as we talked about in the fall. Um, you know, and ultimately that all that work that, that you do in the summer, in the off season. It comes to fruition and at tryouts and hopefully, hopefully everybody out there makes their teams and Definitely send us some comments if uh, if you like certain parts of the episode or or some things that we should have covered Or that you'd like to hear us cover. Um, we'd love to hear from you guys. So Uh, this is locked in basketball. You're supposed to wear everything basketball. Once again, my name is nick defeo This is jason shea the coach getting started here in a couple weeks basketball season's right around the corner Make sure you are prepared for Triumphs coach. Nice job.