Good Neighbor Podcast: Bergen
Bringing together local businesses and neighbors of Bergen County
Good Neighbor Podcast: Bergen
Ep. # 116 Your Birth, Your Way: How Doulas Support Families Through Pregnancy and Beyond
Discover the profound impact a doula can have on your birth experience with Lizzy Moati, a multilingual fitness doula serving Bergen County and surrounding areas. Lizzy shares her journey from personal experiences with childbirth to becoming a certified doula who bridges the gap between medical care and emotional support during pregnancy and delivery.
"Your relationship with your child starts when you're pregnant, and the day you're giving birth determines how you'll mother that baby," Lizzy explains, highlighting why positive birth experiences matter so deeply. Unlike midwives who focus on medical aspects, doulas provide continuous emotional support throughout pregnancy, labor, and postpartum - creating what Lizzy calls a "temporary friendship" built on trust and understanding.
What sets Lizzy apart is her multicultural background and ability to speak four languages, allowing her to connect with diverse communities across cultural boundaries. As both a personal trainer and doula, she offers personalized support packages that can include everything from prenatal education to postpartum fitness guidance. She emphasizes the importance of including partners in the birth process, noting that "dads become dads in the moment they hold their baby."
Most importantly, Lizzy champions accessibility in maternal care. As a certified community doula, she serves clients with private insurance and Medicaid, embodying her belief that "everybody deserves a doula." Whether you're considering natural childbirth, hospital delivery, or have questions about navigating the medical system, Lizzy's compassionate approach ensures your voice is heard and respected during one of life's most transformative experiences. Connect with her through Instagram (@lizzythedoula) or visit thefitnessdoula.com to schedule a free consultation.
The Fitness Doula
Lizzy Moati
(862) 217-4645
lizzy@thefitnessdoula.com
This is the Good Neighbor Podcast, the place where local businesses and neighbors come together. Here's your host, Doug Drohan.
Speaker 2:Hey, welcome to another episode of the Good Neighbor Podcast brought to you by the Bergen Neighbors Media Group. Today we are joined by Lizzy Moati, who is the fitness doula based in Bergen County, new Jersey, although she does serve North and Central New Jersey, even Rockland and Westchester counties in our neighboring state of the great New York. Lizzy, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3:Hi, thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So let's get right into it, because the first time I heard of a Doula was when my sister-in-law was giving birth, some like 21 years ago, and she was like, yeah, I have a doula. I'm like what the hell is a doula? So tell me a little bit about what a doula is, if you know the whole story of where the origin's from, and then how did you go about becoming a doula?
Speaker 3:So first of all, let me tell you that 21 years is much more than most people know what a doula is yeah there's people nowadays that they don't still don't know what a doula is yeah so, yeah, like doulas are basically companions and I'm sure that all our existence as humans we always had doulas, but it was more like the person who does deliver the babies, not so much somebody who take care of the emotional part of the pregnancy and the postpartum and the birth and delivery.
Speaker 3:So, like I think in the latest few years it became something like it was more than just taking care of the mom's body and whoever in you know pregnant individual needed more than just you know being make sure that they are okay with their bodies. They need to connect with their inner selves and, you know, much more than just taking care of the body. And this is how I believe like doulas came into existence, which it differs because different people do different ways. So it's all based on the needs of the communities and I think there's a big rise in the last 10 years or so because the Western medicine became so much medicalized that people are trying to go back to their roots and nature and this is where we are seeing more rise of midwives and doulas. Now, the part of midwife it's still in our state specifically, it's very small because of the licensing, the insurances they have to be supervised under OBGYNs and doulas is still more open.
Speaker 3:So, this is where people are more seeking. Even if they have a doctor, they're still seeking for a doula because they're given the right balance between the medicine that is available and the part that they take care of. You know the spirit, mind, soul, whatever you want to call it.
Speaker 2:Right. So I guess the difference between a midwife and a doula is that a midwife focuses on medical aspects of the pregnancy and birth, while a doula focuses more on the emotional and physical well-being.
Speaker 3:Correct. Correct so midwives, yes, they're more holistic in their approach than OBGYNs. They try more into nature but they're taking basically care of the physical aspect and the medical aspect to make sure that your pregnancy is doing well.
Speaker 3:But doulas, we are much more than that, Because if you have a client that is feeling sad and they have a doula, I have moms that they call me because you know they had a fight with their partner or because their mom is telling him oh, you will see how you're not going to be able to do it, naturally, the way you want it. Or you know like. It's much more than just the once a month at the beginning, and then every two weeks at the end, and then the last month every week. It's much more than that. It's a constant friendship.
Speaker 2:Temporary friendship. Okay, so it's very personal in how somebody goes about choosing a doula. Then right, I mean it's not like I just go on Google and type in doula. I'm going to pick Lizzie because I see her.
Speaker 3:So I can talk about me and the way I do it. There is a very. It has to have a click, it has to be some type of feeling because, yes, you go into aspect that they very like. First of all, you're sharing personal information, very personal, and this is regardless. This is a very vulnerable time for a person who's giving birth you know, to be in that setting.
Speaker 3:You just don't want anyone to be around you. Sometimes you can not even have your mom or your mother-in-law because you don't feel like there is a feeling. So how are you going to have a stranger? So there is some type of development into feeling that person, into knowing how they think. I feel like there has to be a click, also for me as a doula and also for the mom as the mom choosing a doula.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So you know, are there instances where there's kind of a conflict between you and the doctor Not you specifically, but doulas and doctors or do doctors appreciate the service you guys provide?
Speaker 3:So that's depending on the hospital, the birthplace, depending on the doctor, how flexible they are with having a doula. Some doctors and some even nurses and hospital staff, they see us as a threat. Some they see it as just part of the team. I will guess it's also a lot depending on the personality of the doula. Me personally, first of all doulas we don't give medical advice.
Speaker 3:But we are there just to make sure that whatever the mom wants, it's being heard, it's being listened to, it's being respected. And this is the part that sometimes can you know those lines getting very tricky when you know the mom wants something and the doctor wants something else. So where is the doula comes in in the middle and that will be depending on the doula. There are doulas that they're being escorted out from the hospital because they were rude and there are doulas that they're actually being listened and being asked to do things inside the delivery room, like to, you know, to help the situation so you have all types the way I try to do it.
Speaker 3:I do not advocate for the mom instead of the mom. It is their birth, it is there. If there is something I see that I know it's going against the mom and the mom didn't notice, I will make sure that I address it to the mom. I will never go to the provider unless I'm being asked to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, ok. So I guess it begs the question how did you become a doula, like why?
Speaker 3:how and why I have four kids myself and it took me probably four times to get it right, and still I have stuff that I will do differently.
Speaker 3:I don't feel this is the right thing. It should be from the first time you get it right. I know that personally and from serving so many moms in this community, I know that your relationship with your child starts when you're pregnant and the day you're giving birth to that child that determines how you're going to mother that baby. And the way I see it, if you having a beautiful experience that will be translated in the hard few weeks of the beginning, which are very hard, that transition from being pregnant to being a mother. If it's number one, number two or number seven, it doesn't matter. They all those transitions are not easy. And if you're having a traumatic experience that stays for you with you, you're taking it home and you can take it home for a year, two years and 25 years and sometimes the whole lifetime. So I feel like doing a little change in that, in that mom's experience while they give him birth.
Speaker 2:It's all why, why I'm doing it yeah, yeah, because I wish you had four kids you've had, you know, experiences that maybe you wish were better. But how did you like? What are the qualifications to become a doula? You just don't wake up one day and say I'll help somebody out, right? I mean, aren't there some kind of qualifications that come along with it?
Speaker 3:So I always like to work with women. I am also a personal trainer and I'm a yoga instructor, so I've been working with women and moms and for many, many years and I saw an opportunity and I know that I I could do it, because not everybody can be in a delivery room yeah, yeah. I wanted to be a midwife when my last baby was born. Just because of the experience I thought like there is room to make changes. But then life happens.
Speaker 3:For kids living in New Jersey you cannot just take time off and go to school. So it didn't happen. And then I had this beautiful opportunity to become a community doula, and that's what I did wow, wow.
Speaker 2:So what does it mean to be a community doula?
Speaker 3:is it like, yeah, go ahead so I serve Medicaid people that have Medicaid from the state of New Jersey. I also serve private people, but I did. You know I need a course and I got accredited from all the MCOs that New Jersey Family Care has.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:And so that means that New Jersey pays for doulas. New Jersey Insurance Medicaid pays for doulas, so I'm paid by the state when I take those type of moms.
Speaker 2:Nice, Nice, that's great. So that would lead me to the question I had Is this only something for you know, that well-to-do or educated people hire you know a doula or know what a doula is? Or is it culturally something that's more accepted and known in certain cultures and not in, say, a typical American, Western culture?
Speaker 3:I will say that it's still. There is a lot of room to explain, to educate. Not many people know what doulas are. People are thinking like we're taking the space of the partner or the mom or the husband.
Speaker 3:And that's not the case at all. So there is a lot of more education to be done. I feel like there are cultures that are more open. Again, in the last, I am a doula for the last four years, but I believe it has been a huge change, especially because from 2021, new Jersey State is, you know, paying for doulas. So it's more like more people getting access to it, especially minorities. But it like up to a few years ago, doulas is a privilege, like just privilege, you know, like if you have the money, you pay for it. The ranges for doulas are like from a thousand dollars to 5,000.
Speaker 2:So the prices are like you know a thousand dollars for the, for the pre are, like you know, all over.
Speaker 3:So $1,000 for the prenatal from the time they give birth.
Speaker 2:So it's to cover, to go with them to have the birth.
Speaker 3:So you know, I'm just giving you an example of ranges from prices it can go from one time, but when you're a doula, if you could walk me through the experience.
Speaker 2:So if someone's pregnant and they would like to hire you, are you going to the doctor visits with them like prenatal office visits? Does it start obviously prenatally where you're helping them emotionally during the time they're pregnant? Say it could be their due dates for six months right? Are you with them on a regular basis and then go with them to the actual when they're giving birth and then also do postpartum home visits? Is that so? Is it like pre, during and post? And how many visits? Or or?
Speaker 3:I don't know correct, so that's so the way I do. It is basically based on the mom needs once and, of course, depending on their budget, sometimes because you know, the more so, but but usually the companionship starts from the moment they hire me, either by education and, you know, sending new researchers of whatever this specific situation is it's meeting on their homes or sometimes we go to a coffee shop if they have no kids or they available.
Speaker 3:It's just nicer and, like you know, we have a talk and it's more like like a preparation for the birth and if they had a previous experience. So we're going over what was the previous experience and what they are expecting for the next one, and I don't do one. One thing fits all. So whatever the mom's needs, and once I we adjusted based on the mom's needs because, it's just not right to to do all everybody the same, you know, and and then?
Speaker 3:of course, companionship when they start having being in labor and then support after, and that can be from going to the hospital the next day or to. I'm also a lactation consultant so I can help them with breastfeeding if this is what they wish. Sometimes it's just, you know, like a phone call, sometimes it's going to their homes. It just again, it's just depending on what type of agreement we have with that mom, what type of services they want. Some of the moms, I include prenatal yoga. Some of them, after six weeks that they release, we go into doing postnatal yoga or fitness. Again, it's all depending on whatever they want from me. We come into an agreement, into a package that is based on their needs.
Speaker 2:Got it, got it Okay. So do you have any issues with, let's say, typically it's a woman's giving birth? I don't know if there's been a case yet where a man can give birth, so where the husband or partner feels kind of like pushed out or that they know that they're not part of the process. Is it an educational opportunity, not only for the mother, the doctor, but also the spouse or partner?
Speaker 3:Absolutely and this is something that is very important for me personally to include the other person, because they're saying that they say you need a tribe to, you need a community to raise a child you need your tribe, you need your support system.
Speaker 3:Your partner or that person that is with you is the first, is your tribe, is your community, so that person should feel, should feel the most included, because I I know that it's very hard to see the person you love suffering in pain and there is not much you can do. So I actually I always try to include them, even in the meetings, even when we're doing the prenatal visits, I try to give them information. We actually speak about roles. The partner, whoever is one, two or three people that they are in, everybody has a role. So I'm not taking nobody's room, you know, if I need to move aside to give the partner to have you know, different view or whatever different position in the labor and delivery, I will do that because it's very important, I feel like, for the pregnant person. You know what's going on inside your own body, but the person who's next to you doesn't. I know that dads become dads in the moment they hold their baby.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And that is a moment that is very emotional, even as a male, even as someone that has a baby that wasn't inside his own body. I find it very interesting that connection, how it's empowering the partner as well. So I personally love to include the parent as much as they want to be involved, I try to make sure that they want to cut the cord If the mom doesn't want skin-to-skin. Get what? Get your shirt off and get that baby on your chest.
Speaker 3:So it is a whole process, because this is how you create healthy, more healthy relationship, you know when between moms and dads and families. This is how you create better society, when everybody's included.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and that's kind of my mantra. You know the mission is bringing people together one story at a time. That's what I'm dedicated to doing with in my business. So I get it. And you know it's interesting because I talked to so many different business owners, in fact, the one that just on my podcast before you.
Speaker 2:She is a massage therapist but also sound therapist, and it's all about reducing anxiety and, you know, making people calmer and more serene and understanding that there's a lot of stimuli in the world that kind of make us this pent up ball of anxiety. And you know the world's a better place if we could just learn to relax and get along, not to sound too Pollyannish, but you know it's clear to me certainly. You know I don't want to call it stressful, but when you're giving birth you have a lot of fears. You just want a healthy baby. You want to make sure you're doing all the right things. You're eating, uh, properly. You're doing as a mother and as a father, that you're doing everything you can to give your child the best chance possible and um, so, yeah, I, I. You know I can't agree with you more about the need to feel, to make everybody feel like they're part of the process and that they're included.
Speaker 2:So so when did you start as a doula? And you mentioned on your website that you speak a number of different languages, so you know. You mentioned that you work with people with Medicaid languages. So you know. You mentioned that you work with people with Medicaid. If I go on your website, I see that somebody gives you a review in Spanish, but you also speak Hebrew and Arabic, so I'd imagine that that's opened up your client base somewhat. So when did you start? And then why four languages?
Speaker 3:Why? Because I was in south america and I was raised in the middle east oh, wow, okay and you're like shakira.
Speaker 2:Shakira's dad was from the middle east and she was raised in colombia you say something like that, but I don't.
Speaker 3:I don't. You know, my hips don't lie, so I I find it as as especially living in this state that we are. So there is so much variety of cultures and people and religions. I just want to be someone who makes a difference in someone else's life, without race, color, whatever you want to call it. I'm trying to keep myself very judgment free because, like you say before, we have something in common we are all humans and this is a. This is part of nature.
Speaker 3:If people don't have babies anymore, we're not going to be here for long, yeah, so we living in a world that is very fast paced and we do need to calm down and tune inside in order to be more healthy. So this is the part that got me into most of it helping moms deliver at the hospitals and not so much. I do home birth and I do birth center and I love it, but this is more like my jam. I want to feel outside of my comfort zone when those moms are telling me, like just today, like a mom told me oh, my doctor said like I will not be able to do it without epidural and I was like why not?
Speaker 3:like since when that is a predicament to have a baby like right right because everybody's taking it, that doesn't mean that you have to do it too. And even if you decide to take it, at the end of the day it's your birth, it's your. So that makes me more open-minded, I guess because I I'm from too many different backgrounds and I know too many different people and because I speak all those languages, I understand it's more than a language, it's just cultures, because I lived in those places.
Speaker 3:So there is a big difference. You can learn Spanish in this country and still be an American. That you've never been in South America be an. American, that you never be in South America. So it is more like I bring that with me into the delivery room, which I find that I connect with, you know, with families better, with moms better, because I understand where they're coming from and from different perspectives, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's great. I mean, that's an incredible kind of strength and differentiating factor to have. So now you're located in Elmwood Park, but it doesn't matter, like where you, you know where you are right. You'll come to anyone in those areas that we mentioned Central Bergen and even Rockland and Westchester, Is that correct? I mean, obviously you're going to them, they're not coming to you.
Speaker 3:That's correct. So usually I try to, you know, get in a range. That is, the hospital is what matters, because I don't want to be late to birth and I'm not feeling comfortable going to new york city, unfortunately, but because I would take an uber and that would make my price just to cover the uber. So but yeah, it's all depending where the hospital is, just because of the birth, because you know the prenatals, you can always like time it and that's not a problem most of birth are unpredictable.
Speaker 3:You cannot time it, and if I need to drive more than an hour, hour and a half, it just makes it more like.
Speaker 2:So what time I'm going to the hospital with the mom, you know like yeah the last minute, so I may not even make it there yeah, get it once you add bridges and tunnels into the equation. You never know exactly, yeah yeah and then lizzie. So what's the best way for people to contact you?
Speaker 3:so I am in instagram and facebook, lizzie the doula, and they can also contact me into my website, the fitness doulacom, and I I always try to make sure that I, you know, get back to people on time because, again, I offer free consultations and I want to make sure that in that consultation people get a hands and then feeling of who I am and what I can offer them. And my, my mantra is like everybody deserves a doula, I'm not sure of the doula, I'm the doula for everyone. So, and this is what I do, if I, if I'm booked, I can always, you know, make sure that I can recommend another doula and you know, there is, there is doula for everybody. So I just want to make sure that people understand what doulas are, that we are there, we exist now some in private insurance and starting to reimburse for doulas, some part, some the whole thing. So the main reimburse for doulas some part some the whole thing.
Speaker 3:So the main thing for me, it's important that people know that doulas are there. There are very affordable doulas. It's not like you know, like like me, there are many others that they can. If you cannot afford to pay so much, so we can work in the middle and do something you know like, just to make sure that the most important is that you have the birth you want and not the birth that your doctor wants you to have right, right.
Speaker 2:And then to contact you, your phone number is 862-217-4645, correct, and your email is lizzie the fitness doulacom, and I guess the fitness part of your, your company name, comes from the fact that you mentioned you are a personal trainer and if you go on Instagram, she is lifting some serious weight. It looks like you do CrossFit. And okay, what's your best? Squat, front or back? Oh, back squat.
Speaker 3:It was, it was 250, but not anymore.
Speaker 2:My best was 315, but then my knees were killing me.
Speaker 3:Exactly so. It's about quality and not quantity.
Speaker 2:That's like three plates, and my best bench is also three plates, that's great. Very, very long time ago, when I was in my 30s, but that's great, very, very long time ago when I was in my 30s, although I did bench.
Speaker 3:In 2022. I benched 255.
Speaker 2:So that was fun. That's excellent. Yeah, but then I had a hernia and that was the end of that.
Speaker 3:Now I don't think I could do you can always get back to it and yeah, you know what?
Speaker 2:my shoulders are killing me. Last time I did like a straight bar bench press at 135. My shoulders are felt like a torn. So I'm like you know what? I'll just stick the dumbbells with my, the grip that I can control where my my hands are at an angle rather than straight up and down right right that's a different discussion. I used to be a personal trainer and group as long as you stay active.
Speaker 3:This is what I always say to everybody, even moms and everybody.
Speaker 2:Stay active.
Speaker 3:Active, it means different things for different people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3:Some people play volleyball basketball and some others go to CrossFit.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you feel like a nut sometimes, you don't? That's a commercial. It goes way back when I was younger. Anyway, Lizzie, thank you so much for being on the show. Just, you know, let's let Chuck say goodbye. But you can say goodbye right now and you and I will be right back, of course.
Speaker 3:Thank you for having me. It was a pleasure Take care, thank you. Bye.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to the Good Neighbor Podcast. No-transcript.