Good Neighbor Podcast: Bergen
Bringing together local businesses and neighbors of Bergen County
Good Neighbor Podcast: Bergen
Ep # 143 Guiding Families Through Senior Care
Caregiving doesn’t come with a manual, but it can come with a guide. We sit down with Margo, a certified Aging Life Care Manager and medical social worker, to map the real-world path families can follow when aging, dementia, or a sudden fall turns life upside down. From the first assessment to crisis navigation, she shows how a clear plan and a trusted team can replace guesswork with confidence.
We get practical about dementia—how to shift from correcting facts to validating feelings, why “You sound upset” opens doors that “This is your home” closes, and what options exist beyond memory care communities. Adult day programs, home supports, and respite are on the table, and Margo explains when each makes sense. We also tackle an overlooked challenge: finding help beyond search ads. Margo points to the Aging Life Care Association directory, where families can locate experienced care managers by ZIP code and get reliable, local guidance when it matters most.
Margo’s national guides—covering assisted living, Parkinson’s, fall prevention, and wound care—turn overwhelm into action. Each guide outlines who should be on your team, what to track, which documents to organize, and how to manage symptoms day to day. We also explore hoarding disorder through a trauma-informed lens, offering language that supports dignity and steady progress. A powerful case study brings it all together: after a late-life hip fracture, Margo coordinated ER care, rehab, and a smooth move to assisted living, helping her client go from isolated and vulnerable to social and thriving.
If you’re caring for a parent, navigating a new diagnosis, or planning ahead for your own aging, this conversation offers practical tools, compassionate scripts, and a roadmap you can trust. Listen, share with someone who needs clarity today, and subscribe for more neighbor-tested insights that make hard moments easier.
Tucker Senior Life Care
Margo Tucker, LSW, CDP
121 Beech Road, Englewood, NJ, United States, New Jersey
(201) 310-0901
margo@tuckerslc.com
margotucker.com
This is the Good Neighbor Podcast, the place where local businesses and neighbors come together.
SPEAKER_01:Here's your host, Doug Drohan. Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of the Good Neighbor Podcast, brought to you by the Bergen Neighbors Media Group. I am your host, Doug Drohan. And today we are joined by Margot of the Tucker Senior Life Care Company. Margo, welcome to the show.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you so much for having me, Doug.
SPEAKER_01:You're welcome. So senior life care, it is a a topic that is on the front of a lot of people's minds, whether it's they themselves are going through senior moments or in a lot of cases it's their parents. I am the son of two 90-year-old parents who live in Florida. Um so it's uh definitely something that I experience. And, you know, one thing I've learned in my years in this business that I'm in now is that you know, senior care is a very diverse um, I guess, business um category. There's so many different things that go into caring for seniors, so many different issues that we deal with, not just on the health and medical side, but also the you know, paperwork, legal wills, estate planning, things like that. So there's a lot that goes into it. So tell me what exactly, you know, on your website it says your go-to for navigating all things aging. So what does that mean?
SPEAKER_02:Um, so what that means is I am part of what's called the Aging Life Care Association. We used to be called geriatric care managers. Um, I am a medical social worker who helps my clients. I guide them through all of the challenges of aging. I give expert advice if there's a fall, if there's a stroke, if there's dementia, behavioral dementia, how do you navigate those things? How do you pull together a care plan and a team, a support team to carry people through the challenges of aging?
SPEAKER_01:Okay. So, I mean, as you said, you know, there's different ailments that people um deal with. And I think talking to uh the children of parents who've dealt with dementia uh or Alzheimer's, it's a really challenging um episode in their lives, you know, not obviously just their parents, but them themselves or their siblings to see your parent go through that. But then also what kind of care is available. Um, those are the things that you help with?
SPEAKER_02:Those are the things I help with. And a lot of it is education. You know, when you have a loved one with dementia, the most important thing is to understand that their brain is not working in the way that it did. And because of that, it's important to change the way that we approach people with dementia, how we speak to them. Uh, so many times people try to bring their loved one to reality. You know, um, I want to go home, they say, and the child says, This is your home. Look, here's your chair, here's your, you know, XYZ. And and, you know, it gets very frustrating because that is, you know, you are trying to explain it, but their brain is not able to comprehend it. So the way that you approach it is when someone says, I want to go home, or you know, um, you never call, you never come by, you go after the feeling. You say, You sound upset. Right or you sound frustrated, you know. So, so educating people on the ways to manage someone with dementia, you know, is one of the biggest roles that I play care management.
SPEAKER_01:So you would help somebody also help them choose like where like the resources available. So there's a lot of memory care um communities now, either standalone or part of bigger assisted living communities. Uh, one of the things that you would help is a getting them maybe the right medical care, but B advising them of the different places that are available to them.
SPEAKER_02:The different places, all the different options. There are things people don't think about, like an adult day program.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_02:Um, you know, bringing in the resources, bringing in the support. That's the most important thing. That's how we get through this. You know, when people say, you know, Margo, what is your greatest lesson that you've learned? It's don't age alone. Build your team.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And there's a lot out there. And it's really hard to navigate. It's hard to know where to even start. Where do you even look for the support? Um, and that's where an aging life care associate or you know, geriatric care manager comes into play. They assess specifically what's going on with this client, um, get a good understanding of what, you know, what's what, with looking at everything, their physical, their emotional, their medical, their, you know, their support system, and and then pulling together the right resources and educating families on this is what's available. Um, and then, you know, and then creating, you know, connecting and creating whatever that care plan is and the support for clients.
SPEAKER_01:So, how would somebody find you? So, you know, I just typed in dementia care in uh, you know, my search bar. And the first thing is a sponsored ad by artists, then there's a sponsored ed by Foxtrail Memory Care, a sponsored ad by Sunrise Senior Living, and then there's Alzheimer's.gov, Alzheimer's Association, Alzheimer's Society, um, Chelsea Senior Living, uh MedlinePlus.gov, uh RJ, RWJ Barnabas Health, VA.gov, Alzheimer's, you know, so my point is just found out my, you know, God forbid this happens, but you know, my one of my parents has dementia. How do I know that you, somebody like you, exists? Because when I go on uh, you know, on the computer, I am just seeing, well, I'm seeing somebody that you probably know um who's a dementia care specialist. But aside from that, I don't, you know, there's so many, and this is the the issue with Google, right? Is that I've got like 20 choices here.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:How am I gonna go through? Like, am I calling each and every one of these places? And each and every one of them is gonna ask me to come down to visit it with my parent. Like, how do I know that you exist?
SPEAKER_02:That's a tough one. People don't know that we exist. You know, we we're really trying to get the word out about Aging Life Care Association. There's a website, Aging Life Care Association.org. And if you go on there and you type in your zip code, it up it will show you who's in your area, what geriatric care managers are in your area. And we're trying to get the word out doing things like this. Yeah, you know, I've been um working on doing TikToks, you know, to educate, you know, trying to get the word out that we exist, yeah. And what a great resource it is to have someone to guide you on and take you through this journey who knows exactly what's what.
SPEAKER_01:Right. So it sounds like it's a very, you know, for you as this being your business, it sounds like it could be a very emotional uh, you know, day every day, you know, every single one of your clients is is definitely going through something emotional. It doesn't have to be dementia, there's a lot of things that you help with. So, how did you get into this line of work? Like, what's your background?
SPEAKER_02:Um, you know, it's interesting. One of the reasons why I got in this line of work is because um I was adopted. And even if you're adopted into a loving family, I feel that there's still feelings of abandonment and being unloved. And um, when I was growing up, I always wanted to work with kids. Like that was clear to me. Um, when I went to college, I had an opportunity to do an internship every semester. And one of my internships was at the Jewish home, the nursing home on North Miami Beach. And I walked in there, Doug, and I didn't know what happened at the time, but I found myself, you know, the left behind, the unlocked and the abandoned. And my entire life just took a sharp turn to the right, and I started studying geriatrics. Um, I worked at Mount Sinai Hospital for nine years. Um, then I had my kids. And after I had my kids, right after 9-11, I was feeling really like spiritually lost, and I wanted to give back and I didn't know in what way. So I decided to go get educated on you know geriatrics and um what was happening in the community. I went to a conference, I met someone, and she said to me, You're a care manager. I never even heard of a care manager, and I skipped away. I'm like, I'm a care manager, and I've been a care manager ever since. Um, yeah, it's the best job in the world. I love my job. I love my job, you know.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, there's so many people that I've met at senior networking events, and uh, you know, a lot of them have that same kind of passion for what they do because it is um, it can be very rewarding, but as I said, it's it's gonna be emotionally taxing. And I think to be successful, you really do have to love what you do, and it's helping people. Um, and it's interesting, like when you walked in, you kind of knew it. Um like I I had a similar, not not that this was my career, but I was into um always into working out, and um, I had gotten laid off from a job and I was working out at this gym, and I said to the owner, Hey, do you need a personal trainer? And he's like, Yeah, I get certified, I'll hire you. So the first day I was able to work there, he said, Okay, there's your first client. And I don't know, the minute I talked to her and started working with her, I just felt so natural. And it just felt like after spending 15 years in an industry where I never felt at ease, uh, this was something just like, wow, you know, I don't know, maybe I was cut out for this. So um, you know, it's interesting that you have, you know, that association or that memory of walking into, you know, kind of either you found it or it found you. Um, so you know, as you said, after several years of um, you know, working for somebody else, uh, you decided to go into business for yourself. And like, what has that been like? And and would you recommend it for someone who's listening and is like, oh, you know, I'm thinking about going off my own, but I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's gonna work. I don't know if I'll be successful.
SPEAKER_02:I absolutely recommend it. I I say take the leap, you know, um, and again, surround yourself with people who can support you. Get educated on what you need to do. Talk to like-minded people who have started businesses. I had my mentor who supported me in starting my business. I just kind of put it out there and I started getting cases. And now I've been getting cases for 15 years. Um, it's only word of mouth. I really don't advertise. Um, and uh it just organically happens. So I say, I say, you know, believe in yourself and you know, take the risk, take the chance, but set yourself up for success by getting educated, by understanding, you know, what it's gonna entail.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. But you know, selfishly speaking, I wouldn't recommend that everybody start a business and not advertise, considering the you know, the line of work that I'm in. But uh listen, I I talk to a lot of people who you know, their business has been built by word of mouth, and I think you know, all of us need you know, referrals to to kind of validate what we're doing and and to grow and scale the business. Um, so that that's amazing that you've been able to do that. I I want to go over uh all of the different, you know, when I when I go on your website, there's um you have a section here called guides. So a guide to assisted living, wound care. So let's go over all these different things that you can assist with.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you. So what I did was um I really just like how you just Googled dementia and you have so many choices. I decided to create professional guides for everybody, either the person with disease, the person, you know, caring for someone with a challenge or disease, to help you navigate what are the steps you take, right? You get a diagnosis, for example, Parkinson's. That's one of my guides. You get a diagnosis of Parkinson's. What do you do first? Where do you even start? So my guide goes through step one, you build your team, who's on your team. Step two, you start journaling. I I offer a free journal on my website that's specific for Parkinson's disease. Um, you get your medical, you know, paperwork and documents together. Step three, you learn all about symptom management because Parkinson's is about symptom management. And I list every kind, everything that's been successful with all my clients, um, things that people don't know about, like um mag pure magnesium spray for restless leg syndrome. You know, there are there are a lot of things out there to help you manage and navigate disease. So I created, I I don't have the dementia one yet. I'm I'm gonna be working on one for navigating dementia.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:But you know, I pulled together guides, the assisted living. What do you do first? How do you find an assisted living? What do you need to know? You know, everything that you need to know is in these guides, step by step, laid out very clearly what are the resources. It's chock full of resources. Um, and they're national guides.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, okay. I mean, that's important. There are people that help you know, help you choose assist a living communities, and there's certain, you know, business franchises that can help you, you know, you hire them and they'll take you and your family around to different places. And I think it's important to know who they are too. Um, because again, a lot of these things are so overwhelming to do it all of your, you know, everything on yourself is a lot. And I think it's important that everyone knows that they're not alone, that there is help out there. Um, so you have a lot of affiliations, and I don't often see that. So um and I think that's important, right? Because it gives you um I think uh an extra set of credentials to gain trust. Uh you mentioned the the Age and Life Care Association or ALCA. What are some of the other um affiliations you have?
SPEAKER_02:Um now I'm affiliated with NASW, National Association of Social Workers, um a CDP, a certified dementia professional. Um, and I have you know my basic licensing, and then I'm part of ALCA Aging Life Care Association.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Now you you have in one of your guides something about hoarding, um, which I find interesting because I was at a um a senior networking event and they had someone speak who was talking about hoarding. And the emotional part of like you can't just go into somebody's home and say, throw all this out, you know, the reason why people hoard and don't throw anything away. Um I have I grew up in a house where you can never fit a car in our garage, let alone, you know, maybe you can fit a bicycle if you're lucky. Uh and my parents, the funny thing is when they moved to Florida and sold their house in Long Island, I said, Oh, good. So now you can, you know, have a garage that you can actually park a car. But my mother basically brought everything with her from Long Island, even though they're downsizing to a much smaller house. And then, you know, likes to go on garage sales and buy things because they're a dollar, whether or not we need it. Maybe somebody, one of her 15 grandchildren, or now nine great-grandchildren will want. But you know, it's always, I don't know if she's a hoarder, but my grandfather, her father um definitely never threw anything out. His mother, my great-grandmother, they were German. I don't know if that has anything to do with it, but it does. They're also um, yeah, and my son calls my my mother Oma, by the way. Um you know, the certain depression era people, I think, you know, that you're not throwing something out because you know, everything's got a cost to it. Uh so hoarding disorder specialist. So, what does that mean?
SPEAKER_02:So um over 30 years I've had a lot of hoarding clients with hoarding disorder, and I was trained by the hoarding disorder institute of New York. So I am a hoarding disorder specialist, and you know, hoarding is a spectrum. There's a big spectrum of you know, types of hoarding and all of that. But hoarding disorder, interestingly, is a psychiatric response to trauma. And that's why you can't just tell someone to clean their room. That, you know, someone who has hoarding disorder has deep-rooted psychiatric issues and trauma. Um, so my hoarding disorder guide is so fantastic. It I write out what to say and how to say it. I give you a full understanding of hoarding disorder so that you're able to approach it with a new sense of um knowledge, compassion, um, and some expertise. There are ways to handle it. And interestingly, they say that hoarding disorder affects about 5% of our population, which in and of itself is a huge number. But it's a silent disease. People are, you know, they're isolated, they don't announce that they have hoarding disorder. So just imagine what that number really is. We think it's 5% of what's reported. Um, yeah, but it's it's it's hoarding disorder is a really, really challenging, challenging psychiatric disorder, and there are ways to handle it, you know, and so the guide takes you through everything you need to know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So what is the best way for people to contact you?
SPEAKER_02:Um, the best way for people to contact me, if they're interested in care management, is either to email me. Um, it's Margo at Tuckerslc.com. Um, or to call me. You know, my cell is 201-310-0901. And if you're interested, if someone's interested in checking out the guides, there's a whole slew of guides. There's fall prevention, fall recovery, um, assisted living, wound care, non-healing wound care. That's a great one. How you have to heal wounds from the inside out and the outside in, uh, good nutrition, things like that. So if they're interested in seeing the guides, it's on my website at morgotucker.com.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. So uh not to put you on the spot, but um can you share, like, you know, not we don't have to talk for half an hour about it, but share uh a story of somebody that you helped. Um, you know, what's what's look at it from like a case study? So what did they come to you with? You know, what was the issue, whether it was the the child or the actual you know senior, what was that that we'll say they were suffering from? Uh and how did you help them and how did they feel afterwards?
SPEAKER_02:All right. Um oh boy.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I know. Sorry, we didn't prepare. No, no, no, that's okay.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah. Um, okay, so um, let me just think of like a current client that I'm dealing with. All right, so um I have a client, um, she's in her late 70s. She had a traumatic brain injury when she was young, so she has a very simple mind. She has really the personality of like an eight-year-old. Um, her mother, she lived a very sheltered life. Her mother passed away 10 years ago, and the attorney called me in to manage her care, to oversee her care, because there was nobody, there is um just a cousin, a cousin, cousin that's not involved. Um, so for 10 years, I have been um following um this client, and I've been, you know, going helping her with you know doctor appointments and you know, medication management and um people to cook for her. I you know, set up and and supportive services companion, someone to take her to um, you know, appointments, etc. Uh a couple of weeks ago she fell and she broke her hip. Um, so I navigated, I was right there as soon as I got the call. I was at the emergency room. I'm the boots on the ground. I show up, you know, when the crisis happens. Um, so I got to the hospital, I navigated her through the emergency room, I navigated her through the hospital, I got her into rehab, I navigated her through the whole rehab meeting, you know, with the team, doing care plan meetings and such. Um, we decided that the next step instead of going home back alone would be assisted living. I found the assisted living for her local. I set everything up. I got her, I set up her room because she has nobody. I got her into the assisted living where she's been living for the past three weeks, and she is absolutely thriving. She's social now, she's happy, she's um just doing beautifully. So I've been there every step of the way. And that's you know, that's how it works. You know, I have clients where I'll start, you know, at the beginning of dementia where I'm shaving their car key because they're trying to drive and carry them through their last breath. Everything in between, all the care, dealing with the wandering, dealing with the agitation, you know, all of it. Um, so that though that would be, you know, a good example of of what a care manager does, you know, and how we do it, how we do it.
SPEAKER_01:That's great. Well, Margo, thank you very much for for sharing that with us. And uh, this was great. I really I really appreciate it. It's very educational for me as well.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you, Doug. Thank you. And I'm a phone call away if you need any support for your parents.
SPEAKER_01:I appreciate it. Yeah, that's great. Uh all right, so bear with me. Well, you and I will be right back. Okay, thank thank you for listening to the Good Neighbor Podcast.
SPEAKER_00:To nominate your favorite local businesses to be featured on the show, go to gmpbergen.com. That's gmpbergen.com or call 201 298 8325.