.png)
Death Coven
Death Coven is a comedic spirituality podcast by three fabulous death witches: Skye, Poppy, and River. Every other Thursday, we yap about a myriad of topics (like hauntings, history, science, culture, and the occasional whale phallus) through the lens of magic and death energy.
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review! Join our community of listeners as we explore the mysteries of the afterlife through the lens of witchcraft.
SOCIALS:
Email - deathcovenpod@gmail.com
Instagram - @deathcovenpod
Death Coven
Episode 44: Volcano Survival, Money Magic, and 2006 Magazine Quizzes
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
It's raining Men, Money, and Magma today, little witchlings! Today's episode starts out with a hypothetical based on a dream Poppy had, (if you'd like to skip the hypothetical-I don't know why you would-you can jump to 20:00) then Poppy starts us off with yet another absolutely diabolical true tale of individuals who just nearly escaped death while inside of an active volcano. Then River takes the stage reminding us that we are in control of our finances and how, as witches, we can harness our power and utilize the tools we have at our disposal to Get Our Money Up $$$!!! Finally, Skye finishes out with taking the gang through a portal, back in time, to 2006 where the coven has a sleepover and takes era-appropriate Y2K quizzes and finds out what kind of witches they are.
It's a long and silly one today folks, so buckle up, get your chili and your cornbread cookin' and settle into this week of Death Coven! >xD
Socials-
Email: deathcovenpod@gmail.com
Instagram: @deathcovenpod
check out the quizzes Skye reads off on our insta, play along and let us know your results!!
Blow your load.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506and that's how the episode opens.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506a big raspberry. Welcome back listeners. I love blowing raspberries. It's one of my favorite things to do it all. It's like, I think it's one of the reasons why people don't like to date me.'cause I love blowing raspberries on my partners during
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506on their
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506moments. Just like when we're like kissing and it's like getting a little hot and I'm like, and what if I did something really silly right now?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I love doing a neck one.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It's so fun. There's so much space
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507You're editing this one, by the way, river.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506and I'm leaving that in.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I've got a heated blanket on my lap and I'm sitting on the cord. Oh, there we go. It's seven degrees where I am here. The real feel is negative two.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I think we're up to like 20 degrees here right now.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It's gonna be a delicious 37 degrees tomorrow, and I'm so excited.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It'll melt a little bit.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506little bit, maybe just enough for me to like get my car out of the ice shelf. It's stuck in,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507all rattle. Rattle, right.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506We're back.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507hello. Welcome to Death Coven. This is a witchcraft podcast by three witches who work with death deities. That's our deal. And my name is Poppy. who am I staring at lovingly right now? That's also on the mic.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It's hard to tell. I don't know. I
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507My eyes are going in different directions like a chameleon.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm river and I'm scared of that mental image. I don't like eye stuff.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And I spy with my little eye. My name is Sky. That didn't really make sense, but it rhymed in my head, so I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I like
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506gonna say
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Our cameras are on. You can spy yourself.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm always looking at myself. I'm obsessed with myself.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And you're not even a Leo like us.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm not even a, I'm a taurist though, and that's a different kind of narcissism.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507y'all, today is the 1st of February. It is a full moon in Leo, first of the month, and it's also in bulk.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506There's a lot going on right now.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507The energy is crispy and we've all been snowed in for a while.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506For at least a week for
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And Barry's laying in a sun patch, giving himself a bath, being very cute.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507the room that I'm in right now is so cold, and we thought that it was coming in from the window, but it's actually coming in from my closet because the closet backs up against the balcony, you know? So, and there's like no insulation. So if you go and put your hand on the closet door, it's freezing.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506All of my exterior walls are like five degrees colder than my interior walls, which is like half of my fucking apartment, which is great.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Well, you also don't have Central Air.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507you have, you have heating, right? Or
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I have radiator heating and I have single pane glass windows that I have covered up with that cellophane window treatment, but the one in the living room, which has the AC unit in the window, it keeps coming off, so I keep having to like tape it back on and it's, I feel like Sisyphus, dude. It's every fucking, I have so much fucking tape on there. It's insane.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Well today, listeners, we have got three amazing juicy, succulent topics for you. What are they? I don't know. It's a, it's a secret to me. but you can check the episode title and the description, and you can find out, spoil it for yourself,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Watch them look at the title and go, I'm not interested. Skip that one.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Now they look at the title.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506they read the description, they go, not for me.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Do we wanna drop any little tasty teasers before we get into it?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506name says it all, baby
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Okay. River's, um, recording name right now is Moneybags River,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506pronouns, big baller.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507big Baller.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506And that's all I have to say.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507my name also says it all. Uh, stinky crumble. Crawler pronouns are PU
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I think that's the part that scares me the
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Crumble is also curious.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And sky's just sky today. So who, who
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506And sky's the straight man for this episode.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507there always has to be one, one, straight
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I will say my topic is incredibly lazy of me on my part. I did next to Zero work on my topic, and so it's actually also kind of fitting that my name is, uh,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506normy.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506just nothing.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Just real low effort.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Today I feel more prepared than I ever have when we've recorded before. I did these notes in like two hours. I did not do them at 1:00 AM the night before recording. I did not have to do anything this morning.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Love
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507sent you guys the fucking link last night. Um, my computer was working today. I'm just,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506It's because you two are so prepared and excited that I'm like, someone's
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506No,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506drag us down.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mine, I will say mine is not super high. I literally did these notes in two hours. Like, it's not super high effort, like deep research or anything like that, but, all right. Are y'all ready for a little hypothetical?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507so every episode at the beginning of the episode, we do a little hypothetical game. I ask a question of some sort and we talk about what we would do. I maybe should have saved this one for my next to NRO episode, because we do have one on the books. One is coming, but this happened in a fairly recent dream and it's still kind of fresh for me. So I wanted to subject you guys to it now.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, no,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and you can decide whether it's a dream or a nightmare.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506or a prophecy perhaps.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506A vision.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Alright, you, you guys wanna go ahead and close your eyes for me
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506No.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Last night you were excited for today because you literally have no plans at all. What a relief your only plan is to be open to whatever the day may bring you open your eyes and the first thing you hear is a voice in your head that says, do it. You're startled, but you shake it off as merely remnants of a dream. When you go to unlock your phone, Your home screen is displaying in bold red text. Don't do it. You toss your phone onto your bed and quickly stand up. You peek outside your window and what do you see written across the sky in clouds? You have to do it. You look toward your bedroom door, certain someone must be watching you. Then you notice someone has slipped a baby blue envelope under the door hesitantly. You get a little closer and see that written on the front of the envelope in familiar handwriting are the words, please help me.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Ugh.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Then the phone rings. You answer it, and angry voice says, if you don't do it, there will be consequences. Then they hang up. You try to call them back, but instead of ringing, you hear a voice begging you, please do it. Please, please do it. No, don't do it. You can't do it, but you have to. You must. Please just don't you hang up. There's a moment of silence. Then you hear a knocking at your front door. You creep toward it and look out of your peephole to see that someone has placed a newborn baby in a little makeshift crib made from a cardboard box in front of your door. What do you do?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Girl, what the fuck?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Girl, what the fuck? Isn't that the dream you had
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506beat for, beat bar for bar?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507but I mean, for the most part, yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506What's it, what is the it? I feel like the baby's unrelated. The baby just popped
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I don't know. I don't know.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506First of all, I'm reading the letter before I even open the door.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I, I would have to sit in like a corner for about 30 minutes just to like, collect myself before I do anything.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507while this newborn baby's just crying on your room
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506be fine.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506go back to sleep and hope that when you wake up, everything
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Hope it's a fucking dream. Hope that everything's normal again.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, open a bottle of wine. Go to
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh God, it's 8:00
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Take
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506it's 8:00 AM and you're like, you know what, this one isn't it? We're gonna try again.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506lightly overdose on sleeping pills.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507That's kind of what happened to me.'cause I woke up after that and I was just like, sweating in bed.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Dog. I'd be so scared when I woke up. For real.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It was the middle of the night though, so I was like, okay,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It's
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507that's, I'm not gonna, it's not gonna happen to me right now. But the writing bit is weird because I feel like sometimes in dreams I can like, look at something and even though it's nonsensical, like what's written down, I can still read it. You know, like, do
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506The idea like is implanted in your head,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506just know what it
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506gibberish.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And if you're, if you look too hard at it, you're like, oh, that's gibberish. But if you, like,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506just glance at it. yeah. Doug, I'm fucked.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And this is one of the ones I did not know that I was dreaming. I was just like, experience, like, oh shit.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506God, that's a nightmare. That's a
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Angry voices. Yeah. It felt like a stress dream. It didn't feel like a true nightmare to me.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506well, yeah, because I don't know whether you wanna leave this in or not, but it's like, it's giving, are you gonna have kids or not?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I, yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You know what I mean? Like, it's like, do it, don't do it, do it. Don't do it. And there's a baby like, hello?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507That's fair. Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506And it's all coming from like external sources out. It's like people's influence over like you need to do it. You can't do it. the please help. What's that all about?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507the, please help me. I don't, I don't know.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506The little like secret little envelope that's also like, Hey, also please help
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah. Somehow someone was in your apartment and was able to slip that under your door, you know? But when I looked at it, I was like, I recognize the handwriting, but I don't know whose it is.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506it's familiar, but you can't place it,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506but it's not your own.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507so Skye, you're, you're reading the, you're gonna read the letter.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I don't know what the letter says,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I should have
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna open a, I'm gonna open a bottle of wine. I'm gonna sit down, I'm gonna
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm gonna light a nice candle to set the
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506mm-hmm. I'll light a nice candle and then I'm sure whatever it says will not make me feel better.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506No.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It just says, don't do it again.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506and then I am going to take a sleeping pill, but if it instructs me to take one, I'll take two. I'll just lightly, I'm just gonna like, lightly expedite the process. Like maybe Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507a half sleeping pills. Wash it down with a bottle of wine.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yep.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506two, two benadryls or something like that. Right. Like something
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Two Tylenol PM's. Big glass of wine.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh, your poor liver.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I know we're
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506It's just for the one night. It's,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506to get out of this
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506This is not advice for the listeners. This is just what I would
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506do this. This is a dream scenario. This is dream logic.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507See, I would want to reach out to, I would wanna like try to contact you guys or something, but I feel like I know if I tried to, it would just keep coming at me,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506In my dreams, literally, anytime I try to get help or call somebody I the phone either like breaks or like the numbers aren't the numbers I'm pressing or like I just can't call the baby flamingo. Truly things are crumbling in my hand. I can't call for help in my dreams iconically historically, I cannot call for
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506or it's like if you sent a picture of the envelope, it would be like a garbled image that actually gets sent. Like, it just like gets fucked up somehow.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm. I think realistically when I see the baby, I'm bringing that baby inside, like immediately.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I guess. What am I gonna do with a baby?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm thinking the help me and the baby is like, whoever the mother is, is like,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah, I was thinking it's the baby.'cause it was like a, like
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Girl babies can't
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507envelope. Maybe it's the baby from the
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Is this a dream you think that matters?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I don't
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506This is the smartest baby in the world.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I was getting like,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And you know the baby's
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507handwriting's familiar because I know like from, that's like my future kid or something, or like someone I know already, but this is them in baby form and they're like, Hey, I'm a fucking, I'm stuck as a baby
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506in your ovary right now is like sending you psychic messages?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. Oh God.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506No.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507You see, it's got long flowing curly hair
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, I'm wearing a Barbie crop top.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and Barbie cropped up in a Carhartt jacket.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You have to change my husband's diaper now because he's a child. He's a baby.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507my God.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And you also have to put his little bonnet on at the end of the night.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506every night.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You have to do his curly girl
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506like the curly girl shampoo.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507man. And he's just screaming the whole time. But it's like, I have to use like the No tears shampoo
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506He's a baby with like a full adult man head of hair.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I've seen it before, but this is like newborn. This is like a fresh baby.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Ooh. Cradle
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It didn't still have chunks on it in the dream, but I was like, that's new.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506not chunks.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507You know how they look? They're like covered
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506They look like they're covered in jelly.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Is that previously in dreams? They're like still got their mucosal membrane on them.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Not usually. No, they're usually, like a lot of people, I often have dreams that like I have a small child that is mine that I have created or that I'm pregnant, you know? Um, and it feels so real. Then I wake up and I have to grieve for a solid 30 minutes that
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506real baby that you had.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506And see, that's how I know I, I'm never gonna be a parent.'cause I don't ever have dreams like that. It's just not in my brain whatsoever.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I have had pregnancy dreams, but I woke
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506dreamt I was pregnant.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, I woke up and went, oh, that was weird.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506No. The one time I dreamt I was pregnant, I was like, man, come on.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Usually I'm like, if I think about it, I'm like, I don't remember being pregnant. Like, am I okay? Have I been neglecting this baby for the past,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506How long has that baby been here?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Because sometimes we'll just be in bed and the baby will be like under the covers or something, and I just find a baby and I'm like, oh, thank God you're okay.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506My baby.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Same with Neglected Animal Dreams. I'll dream that. Like Harvey's in a shoebox under the bed and I've forgotten about him.'cause I'm like, how'd you get in the shoebox? Oh no. You must be dying or dead.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I had the one dream I had where there was like, the baby was actualized and birth. I didn't have a dream about the birth, but I knew that I had a newborn somewhere and it was just like, I don't know if we were, it was like a party or there was just like multiple people in the house, but I was nowhere near Michael or the baby. But, but like, like I never held the baby. I never saw the baby, but people were just like, oh, the baby, the baby, the baby. Like talking about it, I knew it existed and I was like, ah, yes, it's being held by someone else over there.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't know. I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Baby's in the other room.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506not very motherly. No,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh. But yes, a
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506fucked up. I'm worried
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507geeky situation for
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't like that. I'm worried about you. I don't like that.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I have weird stuff like this all the time. This one, for some reason just stuck out a little bit more because it was so, like the feeling in the dream. You're like, I, first of all,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Do it. Don't do it. Do it. You have to do it. There's like sky riding.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Everyone's conspiring against me to do it or not To do it.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506it feels nicer than the don't do it. You know what I mean?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506the do it felt
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507call,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506hostile.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507there's like an angry phone call and the guy says, if you don't do it, there will be consequences. And I'm like, oh, that's a threat.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. The don't do. Its, were like, please help me. Please save me. Don't do it.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506don't like it.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506that. This wasn't a game. This was just a fucked up dream you had. I don't like
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Sorry. I thought it would be, I thought there would be more discussion about the
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I liked talking about it. What Strat? We dunno what it's,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507would have an answer for me.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm not your psychologist. I can't answer that for you.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506listeners, stay tuned every other week to uh, find out if, poppy does in fact do it.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I will let you know. I mean, there have been times in the past where I've like live on the call, realized what the dream is about.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507anyway. this topic is a little bit on the longer side,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506In true poppy fashion. Has Poppy ever done a short topic? I don't know.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I don't know. but I mean, I've been starved of social interaction, so I'm
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506trying to ride this till the wheels fall off, brother.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. All right, my friends, I have another survival tale for you today.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507So this is a survivor story. river might actually be familiar with this one because it was lifted directly from a season one episode of I Shouldn't Be Alive
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506no,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Season
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506might, I was really young when that show came out though, so I don't
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. But I feel like, with shows like that, they play that early seasons over and
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506They had reruns. Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507so today we are going to venture back to the early nineties to join three Men as they fight for their lives inside of an active volcano.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507The date is November 22nd, 1992. What's currently going on in the us just for context?'cause I love to give context. this is unrelated to our tail, but on this day a massive tornado outbreak of over a hundred tornadoes had begun and it caused nine fatalities, 641 injuries and$300 million in damage. Isn't that
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506tornadoes in the Continental us.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507casual, like a hundred casual tornadoes. Just
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Uh, I'm just popping up.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507two days before Bill Clinton had been elected as president. also that week, Whitney Houston's iconic cover of I Will Always Love You, was just released
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Big week.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507week and it was just a couple days before Thanksgiving.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507it's, there's a lot going on on this day. A camera crew for the 1993 film Sliver. Was filming over the Kill Away Volcano. Have you guys seen Sliver? I hadn't ever even heard of it
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Sliver.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Sliver
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I've heard of Slither, but that's a very different movie.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Apparently it's an erotic thriller. Primarily set in Manhattan. Yeah. I don't, I don't know who was in it.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, it's Stray. Oh, one of the Baldwins is in it. Not Alec, one of the other ones.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507but apparently in the original ending of the movie, the protagonist reveals that they know the bad guy, like is the killer, and they're in a helicopter together.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And they crash a helicopter into the Poo Oh, oh. Vent on the Ki Away volcano
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506In the movie,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507the movie.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506the helicopter. Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507That's like the final scene. I'll introduce our main cast of characters here. These men made up the camera crew that was flying over the, volcano. First up, we've got Mike Benson, 42 years old. He was the cameraman. He'd been working in the film industry since 1970, and at this point he had worked on around 60 films, including the original Amityville Horror, star Wars, return of The Jedi and Terminator Two. But there were a ton more like literally 60 movies at this point. He loved aerial cinematography, so that was one of his favorite things to do, and he had a lot of experience doing it. So he was no stranger from shooting films like from a helicopter. Chris Dudy is our second dude. He is 31 years old. He's the assistant camera man, and he's kind of treated as the baby of the crew, even though he's only a couple years younger than one of the other guys. at the least professional experience, but he also worked on Terminator two and a couple other movies with Mike Benson. So they knew each other. It seems like they kind of picked on him a little bit. and his job was to mount and prepare the camera. So Mike Benson had been like, Hey, Chris, you should come on this helicopter ride with us. I need you to come. And they didn't outright say it in the, I shouldn't be a live episode, but it kind of felt like Mike had maybe like forced him to come. I don't know.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506If he ends up dying, I'm gonna be so pissed off. If he gets picked on and forced to come and he dies, I'm gonna be pissed
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506it's just like the Titan Submersible.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Ugh.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507is all I'll
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Did you watch this episode or did you like, okay, I didn't know if you just like got the info because you were like in the episode. I was like, oh shit.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507no. I wa I watched the
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh shit.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507third guy, last guy is Craig Hosking. he is 34 years old. He's the helicopter pilot. at 16 years old, he was the youngest person ever to get a helicopter pilot's license. So he's like a professional. I, I mean this, it would've been in like the sixties
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, I guess. Okay. I could do anything back then.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And he'd been flying planes and he helicopters for years in the movie industry for filming. and as a stunt pilot as well. So he's a true professional. He'd worked on a couple movies with Mike already and he described their little crew'cause they all knew each other as kind of like a little family, which is cute.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You know how you bully your younger siblings?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It does, it does. Kind of, yeah. It feels like oldest, middle brother, younger brother, kind of, dynamic. All right. The scene, Mount Killa, it is located on the island of Hawaii, AKA, the big island. And it is often considered the world's most active volcano.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It's between 210,200 80,000 years old. And the word ki is a Hawaiian word that means spewing or spreading. It's been erupting constantly over the past 200 years with occasional massive eruptions. the Poo oh oh event where they were filming had only been birthed into existence nine years prior. So it was very young. Uh, basically what happened was cracks in the earth formed in the Amazon, then a fountain of lava erupted, forming this giant cone a quarter mile high. Um, I wanted to send you guys a picture of it, but if you just look up, poo Oo oh, oh crater, you'll see it's huge. P-U-U-O-O.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Do
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Good God.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I know, like it's
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh no. That's
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506New volcano just dropped.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Holy shit.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507So it's just a vent on the volcano. geology stuff happened. This massive cone turned into a lava lake that dribbled lava continuously in 1990. So two years before this happened, the flow field expanded and consumed over 100 houses in a nine
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh yeah. Volcanoes are so scary.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507in early 1992, so like not even a year prior, the central vent died. So there's no more active lava spreading outward, but peripheral vents are still going expanding. and at this point in 1992, the crater of the vent is about two miles across big. It's said that a family of deities live inside of the ki way of volcano, including Madam Pele, the Hawaiian goddess
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506know her.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah, she's the goddess of fire, lightning, wind, and volcanoes. Madam Pele is considered to be one of the most powerful Hawaiian deities. She represents the force of creation and the force of destruction, kind of like the Hindu Goddess Collie. so she's kind of similar to that vibe. She's sometimes referred to as, Kawa Aua, which translates to the earth eating woman. And much like the volcano itself, Madam Pele is known to be incredibly emotionally volatile. Kind of how we see Greek gods. Like we see their wrath a lot.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506They got tempers.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah, she's quick to jealousy, she's quick to anger, and she's incredibly passionate.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, she'll curse you. If you take anything from Hawaii,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506get you.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507So back to our boys, it is tradition to appease Madam Pele with offerings of gin to ensure your safety. So as they flew over the volcano, Chris Duddy, he takes a bottle of gin and the other guys are like, okay, we'll tell you when to throw it in. And he throws it, aiming to get it into the volcano. but even though the summit of the volcano is literally miles wide, he missed,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506That's so embarrassing, dude.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507he didn't get it in.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You can't hit a two mile wide crater.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507So Madam Pele did not get her offering, and they were not granted safe passage. Tsk, tsk, they finished the first shoot. They flew back out to look over the footage, and Mike Benson, the camera cameraman, he was a perfectionist, which is probably why he was so successful in his field, and he wasn't happy with how the first take turned out. So he was like, we gotta go back and do take two. but it should be really easy. It's just straightforward flying. It's not like we're doing stunts or anything like that. We, we, you know, we'll get in, we'll get out So they're going back in and as they fly over the edge of the crater, the helicopter starts to shake engine failure.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh no.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507The helicopter starts slowly losing speed. Everything is beeping and shaking. They're in the middle of a white, cloudy plume coming out of the comb. So there's no visibility. It's just like white blank
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506This is the scariest scenario I think a person could really ever find themselves In In a helicopter with catastrophic engine failure Over an active
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Over an active volcano. And Craig, the pilot says we're going down, which is you never ever wanna hear a pilot say, we're going down. Especially not when you're over an active
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506a helicopter. not over an active
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507no.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506He said, there's nothing I can do. I can't fix this.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You said brace yourselves?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah, yeah. So, they start emergency procedures. Craig is trying to figure out, like, I gotta bring this thing down. I have to land safely somehow. but I can't see anything even still. He brings it down as gently as possible. All three of them survive the crash with minimal surface level injuries. I think they have like some face cuts, you know, like some bruising?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You are not coming out unscathed.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507but they landed inside of the crater. Craig actually managed to bring them down, like in the safest possible area within the volcano. 50 yards away are pools of flowing lava. But they didn't land in the lava, thankfully. They landed like a little bit away from it. the ground is hot from the lava, obviously. the sound of the lava's really loud. you never really think about it, but like, it is loud,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507the earth is moving under your feet. It's rumbling and there's wind and Yeah. And probably worst of all, in my opinion, the crater is completely full of toxic gas.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. So there's Hence the stinky bit.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506The sulfur of it all.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. So carbon dioxide, sulfur dioxide, and hydrogen chloride. So their lungs are burning with every breath. They're coughing, they're choking. Craig tries to get a mayday call out, but the helicopter has no power, so he can't call for help. They were gonna have to climb out of the crater, and you guys just looked at it and it's like a quarter of a
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It is massive
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506and it's hot.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. And so the crater's shaped like a really deep bowl. So it's kind of flat at the bottom, but then the higher up the sides you go, the steep break gets. Then once you get to the top, it's basically just like a 90 degree, like vertical straight cliff. Yeah. It's a wall. So they're like, they're climbing, they're trying to, they're climbing, they're climbing. and consider they're in, they're inside of a volcano. What do you think the surface they're climbing is made out of?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm gonna guess. Cool. Lava.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It's chunks of volcanic glass mostly. So like obsidian
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506fuck, dude.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507sharp? Yeah, sharp as needles and super fragile. So as they're climbing, it's literally just like crumbling away under their hands. Hence the crumbling, the stinky crumbling.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506The crumble crawlers. No, it's all making sense now. No.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Chris, the guy who threw the gin bottle, he makes it to the part where it's like almost a 90 degree angle, and then he realizes, fuck, I'm stuck if I go up, the Holts are gonna like crumble away and I can't climb back down. So I'm just here now. I guess Mike and Craig are still 50 feet below him, but the smoke is so thick that they can't, they have no visibility. They can't see him, and it's hard to hear him because it's so loud. Mike and Craig stop and they rest on a little narrow ledge that's like a foot and a half across. Craig realizes, Hey, we're fucked. Like, we're absolutely fucked if nobody comes to rescue us. Like there, there's no way that we're getting out of this alone. he makes a sacrifice and he descends. Back down toward the helicopter, Mike completely loses sight of him and the smoke. Craig makes it back to the helicopter, and the smoke is so thick he can't breathe. He's getting like dizzy and disorient. He's basically getting like carbon monoxide poisoning essentially.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506he looking for a flare or something?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507he's gonna try to get a call out of the, but I don't think a flare would work in this case.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506but I'm just like.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. What's he gonna do? So he finds a camera battery, a 24 volt camera battery, which happened to be the same voltage that the helicopter like the electrical system needs. So he takes a pocket knife, he strips the wires of the helicopter electrical system, and he was able to hook it up to this camera battery and get the radio working. So yeah, smart guy. he's able to turn the radio on. He gets a mayday call out and he's, I mean, it's not immediate, right? Like you're looking for other people. You have to keep trying over and over and over again. But it's, the air is so thick and like toxic. He has to keep crawling back out to like higher ground to get a deep breath and then go back down and use that breath to call for mayday just over and over and over again. And then finally the call was intercepted by a tourist helicopter. he's like, we got someone. So he scrambles back up. He's screaming at the others. He's like, we got a mayday call out. They're coming for us. But they could tell he was struggling, like he could barely breathe. And then they heard him yell, don't come down here. Don't come down here. I can't breathe. And that's the last thing they heard from him. Craig runs back to the helicopter trying to communicate with the rescue helicopter that's coming in, but visibility's so low they can't do an aerial rescue. They're like, we can't, we, we can't get down there. so they're gonna do a ground rescue. They're gonna come up to the side of the crater and like lower down a rope. They say, you, you gotta come over here. So he's running over, through this lava field, over lava patches, to where they are. And by the time he gets there, because of the conditions at the top, they left, they left, he gets there and they're not there. and at this point, they've been inside the volcano for four hours.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh God.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507He manages to get back to the helicopter, gets back on the radio, and he talks to this rescue pilot Don. And Dawn is like, okay, this guy is dying right now. And Dawn says to him, okay, I'm coming. And at this point in the episode, it's like I got a little bit choked up because Craig gets really choked up talking about Dawn in the episode because he's gonna fly his helicopter down in there. And by doing that, he's risking his life. Obviously he might have died himself. and you can tell that Craig is just like eternally deeply grateful and is just in awe of Dawn. And he like, he just tears up a little bit. It's just so sweet.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506He's the pilot. Right? The guy who's
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Craig is the pilot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506that makes it even more like,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah. He's like, I understand what you're risking to do this. but all Don knew was that Craig is dying, so he went for it. He lowers the helicopter down into the crater. There's almost zero visibility. There's also very low oxygen and engines need oxygen to combust to run. So there's the risk that the engine's going to fail while he's in there. So they gotta be quick. Craig is screaming to Mike and Chris like, get down here, the helicopters here, but they couldn't hear him. They thought he was dead but they did hear a helicopter fly in'cause it's loud. but they couldn't see the helicopter. Obviously. Craig is so deprived of oxygen at this point. He's coming in and out of consciousness. He's trying to talk to Don over the radio to tell him where to go. And finally it lands with his last ounce of strength. He hauls himself up into the cabin of the helicopter, and they fly out together. And Craig is saved
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506but what about the other two?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507from Chris and Mike's perspective. They had not heard from Craig in hours. They thought that he was dead. they heard a helicopter fly in and then back out. So from their perspective, they thought that, oh, somebody came to try to rescue us. They couldn't. And they left. So now we're just here. The sun is setting now. They've been inside of the volcano for seven hours. The temperature starts to drop. Their throats are so swollen they can kind of speak, but it hurts a lot, and they can't get a lot of volume out. They're deprived of oxygen. They're getting near hypothermia and on top of it all, they've been sweating all day because they're inside of a fucking volcano. So they're super dehydrated. They're trying to gather whatever moisture they can, to drink that's coming down the sides of the crater, but it tastes like acid and sulfur and they, you know, it's it's literally acid and sulfur water. it's completely dark Chris is despondent. They're soaking wet and cold. They can't breathe. It's dark. The walls they're sitting on might crumble away, leaving them to fall to their deaths. They're literally hearing landslides around them as the sides of this crater are crumbling. So Chris is like, I'm ready to give up hope. But then they hear a whistle. The rescue team is leaning over the crater wall, yelling for them to let them know, Hey, we can't make it tonight. We can't make it into the crater tonight. but we're gonna be back for you in the morning. You just gotta make it through the night.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You just gotta live that long.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. So how would you guys feel this, are you still, are you still hopeful here or are you like
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506The way
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507or Both?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506like Scrooge McDuck into his pile of gold into a pool of lava hours ago. The second my throat starts swelling,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm look, I am looking for the perfect me shaped hole in the side of the crater, so I can just
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. This hole was made for me. Yes.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506the hole that's made for me. Mm-hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. So Chris was kind of feeling like river. Chris says as the sun was going down, I thought that was probably, that was probably the last sunset I was ever going to see. They can barely keep their eyes open. Their adrenaline at this point has run out. You know, they're crashing and they're not right next to each other. they can hear each other for the most part, but they can't see each other. they're feeling alone in the dark. Chris is sure he's gonna die. Mike still has some hope, but he's, he's worried about Chris. Um, Mike says that he thought Chris was going to jump just to end it all, but the sun comes up as it always does, unless you're in the northern, like the very northern part of the hemisphere, Southern, you know, whatever, 24 hours of night. Uh, but they're not, they're in Hawaii. Uh, so the sun comes up, they make it to Dawn. Yeah. A different episode. They've been inside of the volcano for 19 hours and they're anxiously waiting for the rescue team's arrival. They're like, okay, sun is up. We're there, we're we're gonna, we're gonna make it.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506God.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mike is staying positive. He's trying to keep Chris alive by keeping his hopes up. He's like, Hey, kill yourself. They're coming,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506on suicide watch
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507because he's feeling guilty because he's the one that made
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, This is like you guys trying to take me on a cruise in the open ocean.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506It
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506And if we do get lost at sea, I want you to know, I do want you to feel guilty about it
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507job.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I guess, but did he need him there to
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I don't know. I'm not sure if he did or not. but you know, the rescue team's trying super hard to get to them. And when I was first reading about this, like from the perspective of the survivors, I was so annoyed with the rescue team. I was like, why can't you just figure out a way
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Why did you
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507to them?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506up and then leave like a half an hour later?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507they are on top of an active volcano.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506fair.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507So there is, even up at the top, there's lava pools, there's toxic gases. But the biggest issue here is that the, the edges of the crater are super fragile, so the ground is unstable. So you can't go and like stand right up at the
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507of the crater because it might
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Trying to pull someone up over the side with a rope is probably just gonna
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. So they have to think about their own safety. And it's that whole thing where like if you're reckless trying to save someone else, then you're just adding one more person that needs to be saved. Yeah. regardless, they make it near the area where Mike is pressed against the wall and Mike is waiting and he doesn't really hear anything at this point, but as he's waiting, he sees a rope flopped down next to him, like about 15 feet away from him.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506The theatrics.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507He, he's like, okay, I'm gonna have to jump for it. But he realizes if I jump for this rope that's 15 feet away, I'm definitely gonna fall down to my
skye_1_02-01-2026_10150615 feet is no small amount
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506That's a far
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507That's far.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506with no energy, and you're exhausted.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You're dehydrated. You're getting gassed for 19 hours,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And he screams up to them, he says more to the left. And I don't know if they heard him or not, but he's saying more to the left. More to the left?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506throwing a rope down the side and hoping it'll land in the vicinity. I know they don't have any other choice,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. Because they can't see'em.'cause they don't wanna fall in themselves. the rope flops down again. This time it's only 10 feet away, but it's still too far. It's still too far for him to, to jump to. He thinks to himself, okay, they're getting closer to me each time. Next time it's definitely gonna be close enough. And it was, it was only six feet away this time.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Easy.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507flops down. He's like, okay, I'm gonna go for it. I'm gonna jump. And he's kind of stealing himself. He's preparing to jump and right before he does, they pull the rope up
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It's like fishing. You gotta wait, you gotta wait.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506For the tug.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Gotta wait for the
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507at the top, the conditions on top of the crater, they've gotten so bad, the rescue party has to retreat again.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Fuck.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507They're like, we gotta go.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm so stressed out about this thing that happened in 1992.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I know
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506stressed out.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507they have now been inside of the volcano for around 28 hours.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506brother
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Little oxygen. Their throat, their eyes, their noses are absolutely raw from just being burned by these
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506right into a lo
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507acidic gases.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506this is it. I gave you
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507dehydrated and dizzy. See, this is the part where you guys, before we started recording, they were like, are you talking about poop again? And I said, no, but now I'm like, where did they, did they have to poop? in this volcano?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506will say when I get really stressed out, I won't poop for days. So if I'm
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506like you probably don't
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm in an active life or death situation, I probably won't shit for like a week
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507fair. That's fair.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I get all, I also get travel, uh, constipation. So even that kind of stress, like when I went to
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506If I go to a hotel, I might not poop for a
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506exactly.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507so it's been 28 hours. They're not doing good.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506No.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Chris is tired of waiting. He's like, I'm gonna die anyway. He says, fuck it, we ball. I'm gonna climb out. I'm, I'm just gonna do it. I'm gonna climb out.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Die trying.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507He tells Mike, he's like, Mike, I'm gonna climb out. And Mike tries to talk him out of it. He's like, just wait. They'll come back. They're gonna come back. Just wait. but he's Chris. He's like, I'd rather die trying my best than just sitting around waiting.'cause I'm,'cause I'm gonna die anyway. Right. And before he starts his ascent, he said, he closes his eyes, he said goodbye to everyone in his family individually. He had two sons at the time. They were six and four years old. And he was heartbroken thinking about how the rest of their lives were gonna go, growing up without their dad. that's kind of like giving him that little boost of motivation to keep going. He knows if I slip and I fall, I'm dead a hundred percent. There's no, there's no way I'm making it out. Then he said, he looks up at the cliff face, so he looks up toward the top and all of a sudden he sees a path illuminated. He sees the way out
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506like, illuminated by like actual sunlight or like in his mind he was like, wait a second. Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507he's like, I see the way out now.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh my
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And he's like, where has that been for the last two days? But it's one of those things, I think, where just relating it to life in general. It's like the answer is always there. Like the way out is always there. You just can't see it until you're ready to see it. Yeah. You just need the perspective shift sometimes. You need to be desperate to
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506ready to die
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. Rock bottom. he's dizzy and shaking, and he starts to climb hand over, hand up the nearly vertical cliff face.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506God.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507He's got these sharp glass rocks just crumbling beneath his hands He's moving super slowly and at some points he has to like, dig into the wall a little bit to make himself handhold so that he can, he can go up. First of all, climbing is hard.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It's really, really
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506been rock climbing exactly one time. Indoor rock climbing, if that shit's exhausting. And
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And that's like the,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506hand and footholds and
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506a rope, a safety rope.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507with Ariel, I can, I can climb up and down a few times, but that's like a rope, you know? It's not like trying to find tiny little handhold in the side of a
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506holds. Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507is beating so fast.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I will say River, and I probably have pretty strong fingers anyone who
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506But I am also, I'm such a little baby about stuff like getting under my fingernails, especially like sharp stuff. So if I had to dig into like shattered obsidian and it like splinters under
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah. But I feel like when you're in like an adrenaline, like your extremities especially, like you just stop losing. You lose feeling like in,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. I just wouldn't like it is all I'm saying. I wouldn't like this situation
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't think
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506No.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And he's, he's doing this without a lot of oxygen. He's dizzy, he's dehydrated. He, he hasn't
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506hours.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507did not sleep very
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506He's wearing like sneakers and cargo shorts and a
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. Yeah. But he keeps going. He keeps climbing up and up and from below Mike calls up, how far are you? And he hears Chris respond. I'm about five feet from the top. Mike tells him, when you make it to the top, yell back to me. Chris said, yes, I will. and that's the last thing that Mike heard Chris say
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506God,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507that. It was just silence.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I feel so bad for Mike right now.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Chris says that the top three feet of the cone is just a flat, vertical layer of gravel. There are no chunks to grab onto. He's literally like three feet from the top. He can see it.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506the top,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507see it.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506probably the freshest air he's breathed.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507He's clinging to the side and he thinks, fuck I fucked up. I can't make it those last three feet. What? I can't do it. I'm gonna die. Like I'm gonna fall and die. loose rock means he can't climb up. So all he can do is, hold on. He needs more leverage to hold on. Obviously he's exhausted. So he takes his arms and he digs them into the gravel, up to the elbow,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. Alright. He's getting, he's getting spokes in there. Okay. He said, I'm not going anywhere.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And then he says, you know what? We ball. And he uses his fucking core muscles to flip himself up over the edge of the crater with his arms in the gravel.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Did that not dislocate his shoulders?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I don't think he did it. like
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I guess it depends on like how he oriented his
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. I,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Like he
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507sure cause the, um, the reenacters did not reenact this part, but
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506would've, that would've been cool as
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I know he, he like, like flops himself up and he pulls himself out and then he was out
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh my God. Is he still alive to this day? I wanna buy him a beer.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507He's still alive today.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506that's not an inspiration to do, like a sit up, I don't know what
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. Do go do a plank.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506for real.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507so he tries to yell down to Mike. He told Mike he would tell him when he got to the top, but his voice is just swallowed by the cavern. Mike can't hear him and he can't hear Mike either. So he doesn't know how Mike is. He finds the rope, that was lowered down on the side of the mountain and he's like, okay, I am, I'm gonna throw this down to Mike. I'm gonna pull him out. But then he realizes there's no way that I can pull Mike out, like in the physical state I'm
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506after that fucking maneuver. Especially, there's no
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506you just spent literally
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506strength.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507gonna fall to our deaths if I try to do this.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506acid left in your body.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507oh God.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506from this must have been insane.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507So instead he positions the rope so that it's like pointing toward where he knows Mike is so that the rescuers can like see later. But in doing this, he dislodges a huge rock which rolls down the side of the crater toward Mike. And since there's like no visibility, all Mike sees is this big mass tumbling down the side of the crater just going all the way down to the bottom. And he hasn't heard from Chris. So he's like. That was Chris.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506oh.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Chris that just rolled down. I'm the last one alive.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh my God.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507He thinks Craig died at the bottom of the crater, trying to save them. He thinks Chris rolled down from the top and died that way. He's like, I'm the only one left, and now I'm here all alone, clinging to the side of a crumbling cliff inside of an active volcano. meanwhile back up at the top, Chris is running through lava fields, trying to make it to the rescue team. He find he's disoriented, he says like he almost ran back into the crater on accident.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Then it would've been his fucking body rolling
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah. yeah. but he finally sees some bright orange traffic cones. He's like, oh God. that must lead to the rescuers. He follows them back to the base camp. the base camp is completely empty. There are no rescuers there.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506is the emergency rescue
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507They had to leave. The conditions are so bad they couldn't be up there. the rescue team, they had to, they had to get all the way off the volcano.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506God forbid somebody makes it out of the volcano.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507He finds a water bottle that had been left behind. He tries to drink it, but his throat was literally swollen shut at this point. He couldn't get any water in, so he's just like letting it soak in his mouth. and he also finds an oxygen tank. So he hits that thing and he's like, Oh, fresh
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506suck that thing up. In one breath.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507whole
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You know, it went straight to his fucking dome. It
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. I'm sure he got, he was like, oh, if he thought he was dizzy before now, he's like, whoa.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506out.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and he's like, okay, I am revitalized a little bit. I'm gonna get off this mountain today. And so he starts running down the mountain,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You have such little oxygen. Stop running.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506why are you running?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506have to slowly walk.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507running, he is spotted by a helicopter. one of the rescue helicopters is doing is circling above. Yeah. And they come down, they pull him into the helicopter. and as he's coming in, he says, Mike is still alive down there. He's still down there, but due to the conditions, they can't go back down. That night, it was gonna have to wait until the next day.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506dog. Over 48 hours in an active volcano.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507The second night,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507we'll go back and join Mike. Now he's, he has now been inside of the volcano for 35 hours. He's by himself. He thinks he's the last survivor. He gives up hope, thinks he's gonna die. He's like those rescuers, they're, they're not coming back. they've said they've tried multiple times. It hasn't worked. I'm, I'm gonna die here. that's it. And he's just hoping for a peaceful death at this point. He's like, I just don't wanna suffer anymore.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507He says, he was thinking quote, why is my skinny little butt sitting here? I can't believe that God put me on this earth to die in the volcano. Is my ego that big that I have to go back and say that I have to do take two because I wanted to be perfect, but no, I've gotta make it better. And with that, endangering myself and my comrades. So he's beaten himself up. He's like, fuck, fuck, fuck. Why did I have to, if I had just been satisfied with what we had already done, none of this would've happened.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Then he sees the goddess, he sees Madam Pele in profile.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh my God.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507He's having a vision of her. She's, she has long flowing hair, and she's coming at him menacingly. She's pissed off. She's not happy that he's there.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506she's like, literally, why are you here?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507She's like, you, you didn't like my offering. Didn't get into this two mile wide crater. Like, what the fuck?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506What are you doing In my house? I.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and then she vanishes. So feeling more than ever he was gonna die down here. He was like, that was my last sign. she's gonna recur vengeance upon me and I'm done for her. So he picks up a rock, and in the side of the cliff face, he etches. I love you, Stephanie. And Stephanie's his wife. So that was his last message. Somehow though, he makes it through the second night through that, the dark night of the soul,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506he wakes up and goes, fuck, I'm still alive on
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507fuck, oh, I doubt he slept. I feel like it was probably one of those, like you, you're doing those little micro sleeps, you know? I wonder if he's having half awake stress dreams or
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, I'm sure
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507that rescue has come and it, it hasn't really, So it's almost 11:00 AM now, he's been inside of the volcano for 47 hours. He's given up hope. But what he didn't know was that the film company he worked for had hired another pilot to try a different approach at an aerial rescue. They're like, okay, the ground stuff that's not working, the conditions are too bad. Like there's the ground people can't get to him. We gotta send in another helicopter. And they had to hire someone private to do it. so he hears helicopter blades coming toward him and I, in that moment, I feel like you're hopeful, but you're also like really skeptical. You know?'cause it's been, there have been so many
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You've had how many ropes thrown down to you at this point? Yeah,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507But then he can see the tail of the helicopter. He sees the tail, And then he sees a head pop out of the helicopter. It's a pilot wearing a beat up, like old Vietnam helmet,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I always think I'm going insane. I would think I'm hallucinating.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507they they're waving at each other. The man in the helicopter yells Benson, don't do anything stupid. Don't do anything dumb. I'll be back in about 15 or 20 minutes. And then he
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506me just in time. I was about to
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507was gonna, I was gonna do it. I was gonna do it
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506all.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507he flies away. Mike is waiting. He's anxious. Um, 15 minutes go by. Then 20, then 30, and the dread is starting to kick back in. He's like, fuck, he's not coming back.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Every fucking
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah, the dread is just seeping in. But then he hears the helicopter again. It's returning this time though, the visibility's back at zero. He can't see the helicopter. The helicopter can't see him. So he's worried. He's like, oh man, they're back again, but they can't see me. We're fucked now again. Then out of the smoke, he sees a giant basket swing toward him, like a giant person sized basket. It gets caught on a rock.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507The pilot thinks that it getting caught on a rock is the weight of his body. So they yank it back up
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and he's discouraged. He's like, okay, well, they probably thought that that was my body. And then when it came loose, that was me falling. So they're not gonna try again. They're gonna leave, but they don't, the basket comes back down and this time it hovers in front of him in space. It's just like hanging there 10 feet out away from him,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and he's like, am I gonna make it? Am I gonna make this 10 foot jump into this basket hanging out? Like if I miss it? There's nothing below me, but a drop to my death. So he steals himself and then he goes, he knows not to wait for too long'cause of the rope incident.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It will go away.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And he goes for it. He jumps, he lands in the netting, he hits it, they feel his weight. Pull down the helicopter a little bit, and they fly him out in the basket,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506my God.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507he sees the blue of the sky, a color that he thought he was never gonna see again. That bright sky blue. and as they flew away, he yells at Madam Pele, I won. You lost? And I'm like, dude, dude, come on. You're still in a helicopter. You're still
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506are on a thin ice brother.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Come on, don't tempt it.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506she shoots up one fiery rock to like
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507my God. Just at him. He makes it to the rescue camp. He reunites with Stephanie. She came all the way to Hawaii because he was in a fucking volcano.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, he got lost in a volcano,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And across the camp, making their way towards him, he sees Craig and Chris
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506my friends.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and that. Just imagine that like he, if it was the three of us and I thought you guys were
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Oh dude. I'd be so
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507me, I would be a puddle.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506eyes out.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I would just, yeah. I would just be a
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I would piss my pants probably. And that's saying a lot.'cause I'm deeply dehydrated.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. So they all reunited. They were so glad to see each other. They were happy and grateful to be alive. so what happened to the movie? what what happened to the footage?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Was it worth it? Was it
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I forgot. Can I say something? If I went through all that shit for a movie that got 21% on Rotten Tomatoes, I'd be fucking pissed.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507didn't actually look up to see how it, let, let me
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506looked up the stats. 21%? on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506them to look at that, that scene that they filmed, uh, went back for and went, mm. We're
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506that part.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Well, so it was originally supposed to end with the helicopter flying into the Vol Volcano. They tried it with a test audience. Paramount was like, we're we're gonna try it with the test audience didn't do well. They cut it. They cut it. All of that was literally For
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506For fucking nothing. It's got 5.1% out of 10 on IMDB. This is not a, a well received
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507No, No, Bringing it to present day. Recently, between 2018 and 2026, a series of massive explosive eruptions from kill away have caused earthquakes, destroyed human habitations and just the landscape. So it is still a very, very active volcano. Madam Pele is still creating and destroying as she has for millennia. Craig Hosking, he still flies. he's one of the most in demand pilots in Hollywood. He's, he's working a lot. He's now 67 years old. some of the noteworthy films he has been involved in recently include Oppenheimer, Nope. Twisters, and then coming out this July, 2026, the Odyssey
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506oh
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507about this experience. He said, I got to see the core of myself. Chris Study is now a director and producer. He recently, most recently he worked as a producer and cinematographer on Nosferatu.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Uh, and he says, I don't worry that much about death since the accident. I think you gotta just live your life and things happen.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506getting stuck in a volcano,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah, things happen. Dude,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506happened.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mike Benson still shoots movies as well. He also got his pilot's license. So he flies. And since then he's been credited on 36 more movies, including Mission Impossible, three X-Men Rush Hour, and how Johnson's most hated movie of all time. Sister Act two.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506no fucking way.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh my God. What? Oh, everything literally that has ever happened in history and on this planet is so interconnected in ways you can't even fucking fathom. Oh my God. The
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mike Benson was once asked to go film Over, kill Away Again. And he said, no, thank you. I don't wanna test fate. And I'm like, yeah, you literally taunted Madam Pele on your way out last time.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506no. I remember what I said. I cannot go back there.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507never go to Hawaii ever again.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506going to get my ass.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507the story of how Craig Hoskin Chris Study and Mike Benson survived a helicopter crash into one of the most active volcanoes on earth.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I am
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Thank you very much.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506breathless. I'm speech. That was so scary to hear about.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. So I, feel like if they were us, Chris' River, Michael's Poppy, and me, Skye, I'm Craig.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Craig?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I feel like it's like tag yourself. I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506So I'm the one Who thinks all my friends are dead?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506No,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507No, that's me.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mike?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Chris
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506so many men.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Chris is the one that was like, fuck it, I'm gonna climb.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Which I feel like that might be more me. I don't know. The su the suicidality is
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506but I feel like, Poppy is more, survival base. Like you would be like, I know that the crew is gonna come back my best odds or if I just hang tight right here, I'm not gonna risk it. Like very practical like that. Whereas Chris was very like, I'm gonna die anyway, so I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You guys would need to keep me on a short lease if, if we ever fall into an active volcano.'cause I will be trying to kill myself at the earliest possible
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506That's why you're Chris.'cause he was the closest to doing
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507if I fall, I fall.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506He was like,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506even want to be here and now I especially don't wanna be here.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507You're, I feel like you also would miss the gin bottle throw
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I got really bad depth perception. Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506scary.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507story, I was like, I gotta do this on the pod.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I have, I have not seen that episode.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It's, uh, season one, episode 11. The title is Lost in Lava.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Were you organically watching that and decided to make it your topic or what?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Uh, I forget how I literally saw the story like two months ago, and I just put it on my list of topics.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506That's
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506thing I've heard in a little while. So thanks
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah. Well, because I was like, it's a survival story. Like they, they beat death and also there's like a deity
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Bold of him to be
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506that at the end.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506After she gave him the side eye, the death side eye
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I, let you stay in my fucking house
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506hours. are gonna come into my house and call me a bitch. Interesting. That was genuinely frightening.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Not as bad as Chernobyl. But
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah, no. Turnable was,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506no.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507All right. I'm gonna take this, um,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506This lava
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507This steaming hot baton, and, uh, pass it on over to river.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Thank you so much. Ow. Taught.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It's sizzle.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I would love if we could all just like, take a deep breath together. I'm reeling still.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507sorry.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I drank an entire year while I was listening to that and I feel like that did not help me.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah, there were a lot of like, almost too, it was like,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It was the way we were like edging, getting rescued for so much of it. So listeners participate if you can. Let's all just take a nice deep breath in and hold and breathe out. Delicious. I feel better already. I feel normal again.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Rejuvenated.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I feel great. Yeah, that's a good idea. Listeners, take a sip of water.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Breathe. Drink water. We'll recuperate.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Be grateful you're not in an active volcano.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Amen.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Things could be worse. Whew. Okay. Okay. I am fine.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506They're an empath.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I am an empath. I'm sensitive. I just, I am one of those people. I am the mom from, um, pride and Prejudice where anything happens and she has to go lay down for two days. I am literally that kind of person, but I'm fine. And we're so back. I've decided we're
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507back
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506and I'm normal again. Thank you for coming.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507know this episode is gonna be so
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It's so good because I feel insane. No, I thank you all for coming. Thank you all for meeting me here today. None of this is gonna get left in the edit.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Leave it in.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I might, honestly, I'm pretty lazy. I, my topic is, I feel like it's been a really long time since I've done like an actual tangible, magic practice focused topic.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506The
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm doing one of those today, the bones of why we we're here and like the fact that I like actually am a witch and I like perform spell work and shit like that. I was like, it's been a while since I've done that. Sometimes I just wanna talk about some other shit,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506but today I'm talking about some real witchcraft shit.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Thank you for bringing it
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506So
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506say, uh, upfront,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506bringing it home from what to our,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506just us, just us talking about like anything and everything that's like not maybe what brings people to listen to our podcast,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506and I might cut this out, but like. Being a witch and doing witchcraft is not the sole facet of my life and my personality. We are all multifaceted individuals with like complex interests and unfortunately this gives us a platform to just talk about whatever the fuck we wanna talk about. And if you vibe with that, that's awesome. Thank you so much for listening. And if you don't, I hope you find content that you like to listen to while you're like washing the dishes and shit. So, and this is also specifically applicable to me in my life where I'm at right now. So we're gonna be doing like a little money magic crash course, just like a little money magic 1 0 1 for everybody. Get your money up, get your pussy up.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506That's so exciting. Here in, in on the day of, in bulk, technically spring, we're getting the,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506yes.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506seeds.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Our seeds are starting to germinate. The frost is not in my area. Yeah, the frost is still very much on the ground,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507The groundhog
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506but
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507uh, has gone back into its hole.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506The groundhog's frozen to the ground, unfortunately.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507you can cut this out. We have a groundhog that lives behind my apartment and I was saying to Greg this morning, I'm so worried about him because they don't, we don't get this type of snow here usually. And I'm like, I hope he's okay.'cause he's been out there.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506to back
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507He's
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506it's cold.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I've lived here. He's a big fat fucker.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506He's probably fine. He's probably fine.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507his little hole.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506That
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506maybe he's got a
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506fine.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506they're like
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506for warmth.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Just like those little mammals during the
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_10150719. Mass extinctions of the death of the dinosaurs.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506it's a really good episode.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Anyway, sorry.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Anyway. No, that was important. I'm glad you brought that up. I love hearing about Fat Little Creatures. So to, to peel back the curtain a little bit on like my real actual life going ons right now. Hi, I'm river. It's nice to meet you. I recently left my job that I've been at for the better part of a decade, like seven years for a whole host of reasons. I was like, maybe I'll bring up some of them, but it's not even fucking worth it anymore. Point is, fuck'em. So I left that job. I am technically employed by somewhere I'm really excited to start working at, and it aligns better morally, ethically, spiritually. I'm so excited that they hired me and gave me this opportunity genuinely. But due to several factors, they have not been able to reopen yet. Uh, part of it is like they had to move buildings and then they had to do construction on the new place they went and they have to wait for permits from the city because it's an old historic building. They have to get inspection approval. It's a wellness house, so you have to, if you're doing spa style treatments, there are certain parameters you have to meet to operate. So for several factors, they have not reopened their doors. And like ideally this would've been around the time that we all started working again, push back a little bit. The storm is not fucking helping. The ice really fucked the schedules. So I left security and stability. I actively decided to walk away from that. I thought it wasn't a whim. Please, if you're thinking of leaving your job, don't just on a whim, leave it. Actually have a plan in place. Make sure you're financially able to take care of yourself if you don't actively have payment coming in. I went off on a tangent there. I'm back. I'm coming back. Point is I'm in a big transitional period and it's very uncertain and it feels very scary. But you know what you can do to make yourself feel better when things are uncertain and a little bit scary. You could do a little bit of magic. You can do a little bit of witchcraft, make yourself feel a little better, burn a candle.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506So that's what I've been doing. I specifically for the, um, the process of getting our permits and our inspections and everything to be quickly taken care of in the timeline. Ideally, I petitioned St. Expedite. He's a great fucking guy to have in your corner. If you need things quickly, petition him. I refreshed my little money bowl. I love my little money bowl and I can tell it fucking worked.'cause sky came over the other day and every time she's ever come into my home, she's always passed by the money bowl. But never commented on it until the other day, right after I refreshed it and I said, Ooh, that bitch worked. Ooh, that bitch is fresh. And it's attracting attention. Thank you so much.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, I literally was like, god damn.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. And it's the exact same amount of money that has always been in it. It just looks a little bit different now. And you said, okay, affluent. And I said, Ooh, my spells are working. Thank you.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Magnetic.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506so money magic, what is it? It's magic where you get money, essentially you are drawing money to yourself. I feel like people complicated a lot more than it really needs to be sometimes.'cause people have like weird, complicated feelings about money and in my opinion, like the less complicated the better because it can, you can get so in the weeds about it and then it's just like creating all these like little tangles and hang up hangups. For you, especially if you are doing money magic for like a specific bill or a specific payment or something, you gotta be very direct about it and say, I need this amount of money by this time, please and thank you. Just be very direct. Communicate exactly what you need. Don't get too hung up on I need, I needed this herb or I need this candle. you don't need more supplies than you think you do, especially with money magic,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Don't spend more money.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506don't spend more money just to try to make money. Come in, look around at you. Honestly probably already have shit that you can use for it. Like looking around, I already had money drawing spray and fast luck spray. I just had that already and I was like, oh my God, that's perfect. That's exactly what I need. So don't overcomplicate it. Use what you have, especially how you say? I think because I have like more of a folk practice mentality, I'm always like, well what the hell were my ancestors rocking with? Like beans and water?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Paper and pencil.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506paper and pencil and a glass of water. Like let's, let's use what we have at home. We got spells, supplies at home. Also my notes are like the ramblings of a mad man. I just like kept making new text box
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And diss and diss and diss.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506and dis and that and also dis over here. I will say I'm not great about refreshing and feeding my money bowl. That is something I will admit to. I'm trying to be better about it.'cause I also, this is gonna be so all over the place and I'm so sorry for that. I'll try to clean it in the edit. For me, the core of what you want for your money spells is about what your idea of prosperity and abundance are. So for me, I have my short term which is just like prosperity and my long term, which is abundance. So my short term prosperity spells are like every month I feed my money bowl, I refresh it and that's to make sure my bills are paid, my rent is paid, I've got food in the fridge. I'm good. I want for nothing. And maybe, I don't know, maybe a little extra for some fun stuff. Maybe a little sweet treat. That's prosperity to me. I'm doing okay long term, like abundance the excess for me. Is making sure surprise expenses and emergencies do not completely wipe out my bank account. Like I'm set up for the surprise stuff. And also I have plenty of excess money that I get to pour back into my community and into the causes that I care about. Because abundance is also about spreading the wealth to the people that need it. There's more than enough for everybody. So you have to figure out what abundance and prosperity look like to you and work that into your spells. I also like to, in the sense of like my money bowl, the more money you make, the more you can feed into your money bowl. Don't get stingy with it.'cause then you're gonna get stingy results you like. If you want big kickbacks, you gotta put some big stuff into it. But that's just me personally. That's my ethos.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506That's like the give and take.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Exactly. If you you get what you give and the more you get, the more you should be giving. Ideally also something important to consider, especially when it comes to money workings. Do you have any roadblocks, subconscious or otherwise? Do you need to do a road opener spell? Is there something you need to clear the way for? Because we all know magic takes the path of least resistance, so you gotta clear the way. And that's really just for any spell work. I, If you're like me and you also blend Catholic practices into your practice, you can certainly petition certain saints for a little extra help, such as I petition Saint Expedite to get the permits and the inspections done in a timely manner. He's a great guy. He works quick, so he's quick and he's intense, so be careful. You have to be ready for that kind of energy. And he does like payment, so you do have to pay him for his services. But also he loves poundcake, so it's like lowkey, like pretty easy to pay him. If you just give him a piece of Poundcake, he's pretty happy about it. You can also petition St. Joseph, the Worker. Uh, you can petition St. Jude if you feel like you're really in a pinch and it feels like really impossible to pay a bill. He's a great guy for it. Saint Anthony for finding some extra money. Go back and listen to the Saint Anthony episode. Among others there are a bunch of saints that are like for the workers and for like the vulnerable in helping people. So there are many avenues and resources you can take. Oh, I also, oh, I have a book. I ordered a book called Financial Sorcery and it was supposed to get delivered yesterday and I was so excited about it. It did not. The ice. The ice.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507fuck ice. Am I
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Fuck
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506ice, Both kinds. So I'm waiting for that.'cause I'm also like, I'm not the authority on money magic. It's not something that I, outside of like having a money bowl for years, I've really like gotten into until recently.'cause it also ties into the self sovereignty of like, I wanna feel like I have more control over my finances and my wealth. I want to not be afraid of money the way I have been for my entire life. So I want to feel empowered and like actually put forth effort into like owning my finances, bringing in prosperity, bringing in abundance as a tool. So I was really excited to buy this book and for it to get delivered yesterday, but did not. So maybe I'll do an update when it does get delivered.'cause for me, most of my money magic is feed my money bowl. Refresh my money bowl if I haven't for like several months. Maybe petition is saying if I'm in a pinch and I carry like a Bailey round in my wallet because that's just like a fun little folk practice I like to do. So I'm excited to get more into it.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You just do like an ad lib, like while you're editing, like you just insert a river from the future
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, now I got my book.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Are you also gonna touch on your fun little Lord of the Rings tarot deck and how
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506been assisting you with your finances?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I wasn't planning on it, but now that you bring that up, that's a really good point. So when we were at Ana ha's purpose years ago, it feels like now there was that little like free exchange. Bring an object, take an object table. And there was this darling little Lord of the Rings tarot deck. And I was binge watching the Lord of the Rings movies a lot at the time. And I was like, oh my God, for me, you shouldn't have. And I did my little introductory draw with it. And it very specifically was like, I am not for like emotional clarity. I'm not for like intellectual clarity, I'm specifically to like, get your money up. Like this is a financial deck. And I said, oh, I didn't know you could do that. I didn't know that was an option. And one of you I think was like, yeah, they got you anyway. They could, they had to get you with the Lord of the Rings stack to listen. And I said, yeah, yeah, you got me. And I haven't used it in a while, but I should get back into that'cause it has given me some pretty solid advice. Love that guy. Great guy. I feel like there was something else I wanted to mention, but I cannot for the life of me remember it now.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507What was the spell you did the other night?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, that was my petition to St. Expedite. Yeah. I, I sent a sneaky little picture in the group chat and I was like, I love being a witch. And everyone was like, what is that? And I said, I'll never tell it's secret. I'll tell you in two days. I don't wanna spoil it. So yeah, I didn't really have an ending for this. I was just really excited to be like, I'm getting my money up. I'm an adult, I'm taking care of shit. So.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506It is hard out there. Shit's expensive.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506In this economy. Yeah. It's fucking hard out there and I want to be able to feel confident in supporting myself and supporting my community. And money is unfortunately one of the biggest tools to be able to do that.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Has someone who has recently had to drain their money bowl and emergency funds. Um, thanks for the reminder and advice that we can,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Let's get our money up together.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506to turn it around. Keep doing what you're doing. Also, mundanely, like
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, for sure.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506on the grind,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Part of that, like with the self sovereignty is like going through your finances and seeing like what is in your power to cut out so that you can have more of this resource to use the way you actually want to be using it.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Get yourself a high yield savings account, baby. Get that, get that 4%.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You gotta not touch it to get it though.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You have to just put it away and not touch it. Yeah. But that was really, that was all I got. I'm just excited to get more into money Magic now
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah. You've inspired me. I, I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506let's get our money up together. Everyone. Yes. It's a new year. It's fresh. Two of the three of us are transitioning into new roles that are paying us more. I will be making significantly more money when I actually start working and I wanna, I wanna take advantage of that. I
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506As long as I don't have another giant financial catastrophe
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah, I will say.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507groceries right now are
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506As somebody that's not actively working, even though like I made sure that I would be okay for several months without having an active paycheck. Hey, rent's expensive. Groceries are expensive. My cat has a check. My senior old ass cat has a checkup and we're probably gonna be doing like a full blood panel and a urinalysis, which is expensive. My other cat next month has a tooth cleaning, which is expensive.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506That's
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506expensive.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506like a round, like a grand total just
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm expecting garnets checkup to be like$800.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. And
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507happen with cars too,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506always, thankfully I haven't been driving for the past week
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506That may not be a good thing though, you know what I mean?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. I got my, my car's inspection is due at the end of March. My check engine light's been on for months. Who knows what that's all about.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It's just a big drama queen.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It's so dramatic. We'll see. We'll see at the end of March when I have money for an inspection. But yeah, money's scary and money's hard, but I want to not be terrified of it.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah. I've never done a money bowl before. I had a
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506that. Ooh, I love my money bowl. I love,'cause I can just keep putting shit into
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. Yeah. With a jar. Uh, back when I made it, it literally was just like a bay leaf with my 401k account number written on it and like
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Nice. A
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507like red pepper flakes or something, and a dollar bill and you just like shake it up
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507every now and then.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I mean, it
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I bet that's probably still somewhere
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Probably
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507not
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506out.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Throw a 20 in there. See what
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm. If you start throwing big bills into your money bowl. It's a game changer.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. And like with, with all magic, like, it's all about intention and like being as specific as you need to be. Like I remember back when I first started practicing witchcraft, like hearing a horror story about someone doing a prosperity spell. Like, I need a big chunk of money now. And then they got,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507got, fired from their job and they got a severance package,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. You
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507chunk of money.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506you have to be very specific, very intentional. Source where you want that money to be coming
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Dude, I, I know that I'm in my uncle's will and I'm, whenever I do prosperity, I'm like, I don't want it to come from his will. I don't want that. I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. You're like, I want it to come from a nice, safe source
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. When I tell you I want safety and security, I don't want you to give me his house'cause he is dead. Hey, don't gimme that. I don't want that. Yeah,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It can sometimes be a little bit of a monkey's paw situation. I will admit that. I have done, I've done a spell and I got what I wanted, but I wasn't happy about how I got it.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506So you gotta be careful.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506But that's
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And I, yeah, specificity
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and I, I know we said like you don't need to go out and buy new supplies. Should we go over like a couple common household items? That can be, I,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506sweet. If you're anything like me and any other witch odds are you have a shit ton of candles
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Bips and Bobs
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506of, of varying colors in varying shapes. Most of us do.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506probably tea lights are the most common and
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Tea lights are common and you can use a white tea light.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506candles. I love a chime candle. obviously. Green, green, yellow. gold, brown for the home if you're trying to take stuff in. Beautiful placeholder for anything you need. Um, some herbs. I specifically like to use Bay Bay, all bay leaves forever and ever and ever. When it comes to prosperity magic, also, depending on your particular tradition in your practice, like a lot of people will use like black eyed peas and legumes and things like that.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507New Year's tradition.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. New Year's tradition. Oh, black eyed peas and collard greens are so fucking good. And cornbread. Oh, so good.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You could use corn because it's like gold, like little
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Little gold coins. Cinnamon is always great for drawing in money and prosperity and sweetness. I have, yeah. Like you blow cinnamon into your home in the new year. Oh yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507blow cinnamon out your door
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506blow cinnamon into the home. I don't like to do that.'cause the cats, I have never done that because of the, I don't
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Get your cinnamon broom and just sweep in.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. I still have it. I do. Uh, I in on sitting on top of my fat stack of cash in my money bowl. I have a giant chunk of citrine
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm. Citrine.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506for prosperity.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And if you don't have that clear quartz baby
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Clear courts all the way. Dude, you
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506if you just look around your home, odds are, you've got more than enough shit to use.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506shiny like a,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Put that in
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506If you've got like a coin from Europe,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Or not even
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I have, I have, a French coin. I'm just like, if you wanna get a little fun with it, if
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506fun little coins from
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I've got like little pound
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506coin.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Especially like if you find penny outside,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Your little lucky penny.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507that's, great
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506That's good. Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507just came to me,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506This, hey money.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Throw that in
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506When I was breaking the ice from around my tires with a hammer the other day, I found a little quarter, it was in the ice and I said, Ooh, money comes to me so easily.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506money does
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Check that out. Money does. And I'm also like chronically very lucky, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506But I feel like being lucky and having a luck mindset is exponential in and of itself. If you believe that you are lucky, you look for luck. You find luck and then
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yes. Part of it, a big part of it is not getting so stuck in the I'm fucked. I have no
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506loop that you can get trapped in.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506be like, this was an opportunity.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yes. You have to be like, I'm actually fine and I'm okay. And this is a temporary transition and everything has always worked out fine, and this is just another one of those things.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506be the hanged man.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506you must be the hangman and you must be patient
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I feel like
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506and have fun.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507is great for abundance work too. Like just creating food from your ingredients,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507what you have into something more, you know?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506The
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And bread, I feel like is, uh, linked with abundance
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Go make a pound cake for,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Say and expedite. Yeah. And also like part of the prosperity working really, truly, again, like with the full practice ancestor work where I'm more focused, it's like what did prosperity look like to them? It was literally just having food on the table and having shelter. It doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. Just like making sure you are safe and you are
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506That can be the end of it. Or
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Not being
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506with it not being sick. Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507You could be rich in love.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Some people are so poor, all they have is money,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506so.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Shame on them. At the end of the day, I'm just a socialist trying to take care of myself and the people
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506about in my community.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Love it.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Love it.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Enter a little, um, chaching sound effect here. Chaching. Make that your text message, like, uh, sound effect. Like every time you get a notification it goes chaching.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I love like techno witchcraft. I don't have the forethought to ever fucking get into it'cause I'm so scared of technology and I think it's evil. But like techno witches,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506love
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Do like a mood board or like a prosperity board as like your
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506you know,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506The only limitation is your imagination.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506truly wear green. Like it doesn't matter. You
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506literally whatever you want it to be. Colors association. Symbol association. Get out of your box. Explore something new. Yes. Just walk around for a day like you do have a million dollars.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Paint the bottom of your shoes
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506ton of money.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506lu batons.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yes. But like walk around and carry yourself that like you have affluence.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mantras are great.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Redirecting your thoughts. Anytime you catch yourself thinking I'm broke, say
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Uh uh. I actually have everything I need.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506This is actually perfect, this situation that just.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. And I will to draw it back to something that I went through recently, you guys know,'cause it was one of the worst days I've had in a while and I was updating the group chat about it over the summer. My, the like. Base of my car key exploded when I went to turn it on in the ignition, like the little plastic fob, A bit attached to my actual key. And it was a whole to do and I, I got to a dealership, it was the wrong dealership. I got stuck. I called a tow truck and a locksmith, neither of them fucking showed up. I kept getting like seven, seven sevens and four, four fours. And I was like, I don't see anything good about this situation actually. So I don't know why I'm seeing all these seven, seven sevens. It's because I was actually able to fix the problem way cheaper because the locksmith and the tow truck never showed up. I was able to, long story short, I tried to start my car with a pair of pliers holding the little metal bit the key, and that worked one time to get it started and drive to the dealership, turned my car off. It didn't start again for like two hours. I kept trying. I tried one last time it started, called the tow truck back after I was waiting for an hour and a half after. He said the wait time was gonna be about 30 minutes. And I said, actually, I don't need you anymore. I'm going home. Thank you so much. And I was able to go like two miles up the street. I took the bus up the street to like a lock and key company and they could fix it for like 15 bucks. Whereas I would've spent like$500 on the tow truck and the locksmith to fix this for me.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507And the dealership wa was gonna
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Oh, it would've been$300 at the dealership if I had gone to the right one.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506But things work out, even if you don't understand it, and even if you're pissed off, things are working out for you the way they're supposed to be.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm. around the corner. You can't see it yet, but
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You can't see it and you don't quite understand it. Things will work out for you though.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506What a great way to end on.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, that was the worst day of my fucking life. It wasn't, but I was really not
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. It was a hard day. Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506It's a hit after hit after hit kind of day where you're just like,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507the group chat
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and this happened
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506And this happened. And also it's hot as fuck'cause it's the middle of summer
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506no ac'cause I cannot turn my car on.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Man, it being hot just really makes everything so
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It makes everything work. I, if it had been like 68 degrees, I would've been able to handle it. It
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506in the nineties that day.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506But it's, it's over
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It's
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm fine and I'm on the up baby and I'm doing great
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507We're moving. We're grooving,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506moving and grooving. So everybody, 2026 is the year we're getting, we're getting financially literate and we're not scared of our bank. We're not scared to check our bank account anymore. Money is a tool and a resource and we have to, we have to be comfortable with using it.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506We have self sovereignty and we are finding and amplifying the riches within our life. We are enriching ourselves and each other and our community.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yes.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Do you mind sharing where you share your, um, abundance in your company that you were talking about earlier?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh yeah. For like when I have extra and I wanna like spread the wealth, I have three ongoing donations right now off the top of my head. I have one to my local DSA chapter. I have one to the mutual aid organization in my city. And I have one to a national abortion care network where they help fund and distribute wealth to smaller, independent, local abortion centers that need the extra help and the extra funding. So that's abundance to me. Yeah. Is literally like, I need more good shit in the world that I agree with. So I need to like, give them money. Yeah. They're not huge donations'cause I don't got money like that necessarily. But like,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506donation or
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah, it's like up to like 25, 30 bucks. But like, I'm comfortable spending that'cause that's what I care about and that's where I wanna be putting my money.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Y'all be the change you wanna see in the world.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Be the change, support, the things that mean something to you.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah. And if you haven't, go do your fucking taxes and get that tax return. Earn.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I am Sky and I are both waiting on our fucking w twos
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I just got everything.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506left.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I have a big post-it note on my computer that says, do your taxes,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I want, I want to do my tax. I like to get them out of the way as soon as possible, but I'm waiting on this fucking W2.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. Well, listeners, it's March now. Do your taxes.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Hopefully by the time you're listening to this, I will have done my taxes.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. Oh yeah. It'll be March 19th I think. When is the tax deadline? Is it April 1st or April 30th? Oh, April 15th. That
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I, I think it's like halfway through April
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506That's crazy.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Can you imagine they'd be doing some slick shit? Like you get a, you get a return of$3,000 Psych. April Fools. You fucking idiot.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507fell for it. what kind of a little baton are you gonna hand over there to Sky?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I, you know what, I'm just going to, I'm gonna hand you over a fat stack of cash.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506don't mind if I do,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Have some, have some walking around money. Get yourself something nice.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506you just like rubber band like hundreds around the obsidian wand
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506clip. Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506and
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507money clip. I,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And then I don't even have to pass the baton to anyone else. So I get Just get to keep it. That's just for me.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. For my topic and why I'm doing it to make sense, I have to put us in a scenario where we are gonna be traveling time, traveling to an alternate universe. So we're gonna go collectively the three of us into a time machine into another universe where it's 20 years in the past. We're going to 2006.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay, so we're all nine and 10 years old.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. We're all like 10 years old. Okay.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And that's because I need all of us to be in 2006, but we didn't know each other in 2006 IRL. So this is an au It's death coven au but we all knew each other at 10. So we're still a death coven. Maybe not a coven, but we're like a little friend group.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Do we, have the knowledge we have now or.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Um, we, I, I, don't, I don't know. It doesn't really matter
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Okay,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506if we have knowledge.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507been 30 years old before. We are just like, okay.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506But in this universe, no.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Well speak for yourself.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506But we're having a sleepover and you guys are coming over to my house,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506so I just need us to be like 10 years old in 2006 sleepover. You guys are at my house. We know each other and
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507are the Italian goons gonna be there?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506The goons.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506if we're lucky. Um, so like, you know, but maybe we're, we're 10, but like, we're also still kind of interested in witch craft stuff because Yeah. I also was, so I think
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506been.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506instead of it being like a proper coven like it is now, maybe we're just, we're doing weird shit. Like playing with Ouija boards and doing
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Scrying with a bowl of water and scaring yourself real bad that I actually did it 10 years old.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506exactly. But we didn't have friends to have that outlet with, I don't think, like freely. Um, so I'm gonna, let's just play in the space and that's, that's sort of the setting.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. We just
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506years old.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506imagine. I
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Play imagine.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I love that
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And so, you guys. Come up into my bedroom. And we're talking about what we're gonna do for the night. You know, maybe we're gonna watch a scary movie, maybe play the Ouija board, maybe go play Bloody Mary, but maybe to like soft launch into the evening instead of just being so like, boo.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506boo boo.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I tell you guys that earlier that day, uh, my mom got me some magazines because that's,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Tiger Beat.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506that's what you did in 2006. You got magazines, um, and I'm like, let's all take some magazine quizzes together. So that's what we're doing today, is we're doing magazine quizzes.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh my God. Are they, are these real like magazine quizzes?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh my God,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm about to stick my fist in my mouth. I'm so excited.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506now I wanna tell you, I have six, I came up with two for each of us. So we don't all have to do the exact same unless we want to. Like, I, we have options. Now, this all came about because I found I found like real magazine quizzes that are just like your typical girly pop, who are you gonna marry type thing.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. It's just like a, well, it's not, it's more innocent than that.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506are like Cosmo
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Those are, they're not Cosmo. These are
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506B type quizzes.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Let's fucking go.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I'm so excited.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I just needed an excuse to do this with you guys. So I was like, well, what if, yes. So I found three normie ones, and then I was like, well, I wonder if there's like a witchy equivalent. So I don't remember if they're like from,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506issues, I'm sure there must have been.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506well, I just kind of Googled like. Witchy personality quiz. So I also have three different links. They're not, the three regular ones are a photo of the page that you would be looking at. Um, and I can post those on
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, so we're doing, you're not like the Game master giving us the questions. We're actually doing these quizzes.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I, I am going to read to you the questions, like I, I can, I can show you the picture just for fun, but a lot of them are sort of, um, they, they're a bunch of bubbles and it's like a this or that. Like you follow the trail and like you get the result at the end sort of thing. Okay. So do you want to start witchy or do you wanna start Normy? Maybe we should start normy and like as the night goes on we kind of get more brave.'cause it, yeah,'cause it gets dark. So maybe you guys come over, we're having lunch. My mom made, um,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Get outta here.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Hell yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506we're drinking. Yeah. Duh.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506of course.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And we're
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Cheese ones just aren't good.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mountain Dew code red.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm. I My favorite Mountain Dew to this day Mad.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507burp?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506No boys allowed by the way.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506No boys allowed. i.bot. never heard that one before.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't know. I have three to choose from. So you guys can pick whichever one you want to do. I figure we each do a different one. The first one is called Who is Your Real Soulmate? And it's, um, the NSYNC Boys.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I was never into them, so I'll, I'll let you guys have,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I don't even know who they are. I'm is
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I know. Yes. He's one of the NSYNC boys. I know. Like two or three of them. I don't know all of
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. So I will say even if you don't know them individually, they do have sort of, um, overarching stereotypes. So Justin is the sporty stud. Freddy is the dreamy dude. AJ is the crazy cutie, and Josh is the brainy babe.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And they have little descriptions underneath.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. For their archetypes, their boy archetypes.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506The second quiz option is how fun are you?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507How fun are you? Not fun.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And the,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506measure that.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506and the, um, like winning options are fun level off the charts on the rise or super chill.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Super chill.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506as fuck.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And the third option is, are you happy being you?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh, rough.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oof.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And, uh, the options are, uh, you know, the old school text smiley faces that had the dash for the nose. So the first one is like a dash parentheses, like frowny face. The middle one is dash line, like a serious face. Uh, so not always sometimes. And then a dash d like a big smiley face all the time.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Big smiles.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. So who wants to do, are you happy being you? Who wants to do, how fun are you? And who wants to
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Honestly, I kind of wanna do the NSYNC one because I don't want, I don't wanna get a weird complex from these magazine quizzes,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I will do, I'll do the fun one.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506real soulmate is?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. How I know it,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Are we doing this as our 10-year-old selves? Like,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Sure.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507for 10-year-old Poppy?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506me was very different.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I, we will, we'll see. You'll get the flavor of the questions, and I think,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506'cause it was, they were
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507then.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah,
skye_1_02-01-2026_1015062006,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506suit you back to a 2006 mentality. You know what I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506would be fascinating if it did.'cause I do not remember the early two thousands,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh. And that's on trauma.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506and that's on trauma.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. Whenever I think of that time period, like fifth grade-ish, I just think all I can see is like the field behind my elementary school where we
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and that's it.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Classic, classic recess backdrop,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506gonna show you guys real quick. It is a flow chart
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506a field.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507love
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Interesting. Are there only four members that I thought there were five. Maybe that was the Backstreet Boys. I don't
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't know. Okay. anyway. Okay, we have a flow chart. We're starting with River. Who is your soulmate from nsync? Who is
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Let's find out who's my boy. Give You My Boy.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I just ask, when you were about 10, like what were your thoughts about boys? Were you like crushing hard on boys? What was your like crush sort of situation like back then? Because I know spec sexuality is weird and you probably hadn't
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506or anything yet.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mean I definitely knew I was attracted pretty evenly when I was 10-year-old to both men and women. Uh, I, this would've been close to around the time I saw Gerard Way for the very first time and I fell head over heels in love with them. I don't think I was quite there yet.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Were you, would you say that you were one of those kids who was like, boy crazy? Were you like, okay.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506no. I was very like. Ew. Why are you kissing each other? I was one of those kids for a really long time. Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506you were having
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Pri in my own deep private thoughts, they were always kissing in my mind,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And like, maybe with your friend's Sky and Poppy, you were like, Mike Crush sitting next to me today at lunch or
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I def like I had crushes, but looking back, especially now that I'm a 30-year-old adult and I can like understand my thoughts and feelings, like a lot of the times what I interpreted as crushes were just intense desires for friendship.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506So I had a lot of crushes, but at the core of it I was like, I just really wanna be your friend.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh. I just had like a passing moment where that person was like weirdly really nice to me, even though we don't
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506very much and I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yes. And I'm gonna, and I'm gonna latch onto that for the rest of the school year.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Poor thing. Anyway,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506fun.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506moving on. So I have my little magazine here and I'm going, okay, river, your first question is, and these are all yes or no questions,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506so I'm not a fan of basketball. I can't shoot hoops and it bores me to watch. I'd prefer
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yes,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506yes or no. Okay.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506yes.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506See what
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506care for sports.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506back to 10-year-old, you are not. It
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506No. I've just always felt that way.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506okay.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506cared for sports.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506question. I usually go for sensitive guys who write poetry or play the guitar. Wild party
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506my thing. Agree or disagree?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506The nuance, the nuance gets lost on Yes or nos cause.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506or are you looking for like the wild?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506still attracted to the wild ones, but my type is largely like soft, sensitive ones.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506we'll go with yes for this one then. Okay. I've been in a video arcade. Oh, countless times. Video games are my passion. Yes or no?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I mean, yes, I've been in a video arcade several times, but most children are Chucky cheese, for example. I would, I mean, as a kid, I played a lot of video games. I wouldn't say it was a passion, but it was definitely a hobby.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I will say yes.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Hearts in elementary
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, we'll, we'll go with, yes. I'm athletic and like challenges. I may not have a black belt, but I try martial arts. I have no problem kicking butt.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Kicking
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I mean, I mean, I got like a green belt in karate. These are hard
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506you were athletic and like challenges though. All due respect.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506as a child especially.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Okay. We'll go with, no, I like mint chocolate ice cream and
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yes Yes to both. Is that a real question or did you throw that in there?'cause you know, I like those things. Damn, this. This magazine quiz clocked my ass really hard, specifically there.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And I have, I didn't try to guess who you would get, which I probably should have done,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Ooh,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506but I have your results here. I
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507are in
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506drum roll your boy. You got AJ who was crazy, cutie.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507crazy cutie.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506that sounds about right.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507in ax body spray.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, they all were, it was Stink City.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506That's him.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Hold. I think that is the Backstreet Boys. Or maybe they just took a boy from each band.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Show me the other boys because he's in the Backstreet Boys.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Freddy.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, they picked a boys from Different um, boy bands. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. He's an actor.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I also just wanna say, those are all full grown men.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yes. No, they're all in their late twenties, early thirties
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506That's a 3-year-old man, if ever I did see one. Yeah. Yeah. He's been divorced already
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506we're 10 years old talking about
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506And you know what's crazy? I was 11 years old when Gerard Way was 29, and I was like, and I'm gonna fucking marry them. I don't care what anybody says and we're gonna have crazy sex. Even though I go Pooey, whenever I see people kissing
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. Anyway,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506now
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506so on, on his, on his photo anyway, you generally have the archetype, crazy cutie.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Crazy, cute.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And under his photo, the caption is AJ was a prankster as a kid and still is.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. I
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And then underneath his photo it says AJ has an unlimited supply of energy, so you'd never be bored. That is why you're a great match. You are both daring, indifferent. Plus you could borrow his cool clothes like his animal print cowboy hat.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, I'm having the time. This is the best case scenario for me. Hell yeah, dude.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay, poppy, would you like to also take this quiz or do you wanna take another quiz?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507no. I'm
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. Do you wanna find out, um,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507find out how fun
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506like being you?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507No, I'm not touching that one.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506take that one. I'll take that one. That's fine.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507The answer is no,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506No.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. Um, this one has Vanessa Hudgins holding a
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506slay diva.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506and meanwhile on the opposite of the men, she's like 12 years old Here
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah. Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506is, she's very young.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507high school musical era. Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Okay. Poppy. Your BFF is crying her eyes out over a mean boy. You hate to see her in this much pain. You a bring over a pint of Ben and Jerry's and prepare to listen or take her rollerblading to get her mind off him.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507oh. I was gonna say beat his ass, but probably.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You have two choices.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507absolutely confront him.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Your choices are ice cream or roller
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I know, I know. Rollerblading.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay, rollerblading. All right. Your little bro has a huge obsession with hippos and can't wait to go to the zoo.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506would rather buy him a book on hippos or go to the zoo. Why not?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I go to the zoo.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. Your rents.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I can't buy a book.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Your rents are taking the fam to six flags. You can't wait. Two, eat cotton candy, or ride the rollercoasters.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507ride the rollercoasters. I gotta say
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Your idea of the best end of summer blowout would be a huge party or a night in with the girls.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507probably a night in with the girls.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506All right, I have the results of your level of fun.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506fun.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507fun am I?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506How fun are you
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507fun am I? Okay. Okay. Middle of the road. Middle
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You would've been off the charts had you chosen a huge party.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506You could have been off the charts,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I could have, but at last I'm boring
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506but I
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506says,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506in sometimes. yeah,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506God forbid a woman hang out with her gals.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506forbid women can have fun on their own without men there. Am I
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, amen. All right. This says, depending on your mood, you could hit a raging rock concert or a tear jerker with buds. Your motto, life's too short not to have an open mind.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507ga boy.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Mm-hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506The best of both
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506They're always talking about
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506one of them. Ambiverts. I'm always hearing about now.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506All right,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Cut that. That was gross.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506and then I'll take the dreaded. Are you happy being you?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506put that in a children's magazine,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't know, but Selena Gomez is the, uh, the poster child of this, this quiz.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506bro?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506It says, confident or critical. Find out your true feelings about YOU.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507YOU
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay, my first question. Your BFF has been hanging with a new girl at school. You worry you'll be phased out or ask her to introduce you. Honestly, now and then. I'm not gonna be like, introduce me to your new friend. I'm like worried about it. I'm worrying about it. at a party. Not relatable.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Literally
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506When a girl joins in with Beyonce, like moves you keep on grooving. Be lying for the sofa. Yeah. Unfortunately, if some bitch is like standing right next to me and she's like,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507shaking her ass.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506stealing the spotlight, I'm gonna let you have your moment.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah, yeah, I will go sit down. I'm actually tired
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. I've actually been like dropping it like it's hot for about 30 minutes. I need to sit
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507need a soda.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507need a Mountain Dew Code red right
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I need a Mountain Dew code red,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506that would, it's so hard.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506perhaps a Dr. Pepper.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506run into your ex and his drop dead. Gorgeous girlfriend, his new girlfriend. You feel like a troll next to her
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506feel bad for her. He's a jerk. Um, poque no's dose.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. It's like, damn girl. You don't deserve that and he doesn't deserve you. I
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. I, I feel like probably more, I probably more so feel
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506for her. I'd say. I don't want to say that. I look like a troll.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506With the men you've dated. Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Your boyfriend has a major celeb crush on Miley. You are cool with that. Or totally jealous. He ain't never gonna get with Miley.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507No,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506about it.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506no, that's those unattainable crushes you never have to worry about.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Hall Pass. Miley Cyrus.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I know, right?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It's like, okay. Good luck, buddy.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You bought a red dress for the V-Day formal, but it seems like everyone else is wearing black. You love standing out or wish you'd worn black. Oh, I'm totally wishing I wore black.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. My results,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507everyone wearing black on Valentine's
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't know.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506don't know. Um, am I happy being me? Sometimes the result, sometimes
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506it's true.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506they heard they clocked me.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507help.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Alright. On one hand you realize you're awesome, but on the other hand, you believe there's always room for improvement. So true. Bestie. So while you're satisfied with your own style, you often look to others for inspiration. And when someone shows off a cool tech gadget or an amazing talent, you can't help but feel sort of second rate. It's awesome that you're so ambitious, but just make sure you're not being too tough on yourself. Period. Queen.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Very good. Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Fair.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Can you read the, the, you're not happy at all with yourself real quick?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Uh,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506what the fuck they're saying to children.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506all right. Not always frowny face.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Um.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506spend a ton of time worrying about what people think of you, but the truth is, you're your own biggest critic. You could see yourself through everyone else's eyes, but you might be pleasantly surprised when you feel like you stick out like a sore thumb. Your friends are probably admiring your unique style. So try to stop comparing yourself to other people and start focusing on the reasons why you totally rock.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. I like that message. Actually.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506bit concerned,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506better now.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507feel like you suck because you do
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. And everybody actually does secretly hate you. You're right. And also you smell
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You need to conform quickly.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. The night settles in, it's getting a little bit darker. We've got our giggles out. We've watched a Disney Channel movie.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Probably high school musical.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506of the Irish,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507God. The luck of the Irish,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506the rope.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_10150713th year?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506That was a good one. The one with the mummy. That was a good one.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I don't remember The Mummy one. I,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't remember what it was under wraps. That's what it was called. I loved under wraps.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506a vampire.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah. My mom's got a date with the vampire. A lot of vampire
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. A lot of vampire.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Anyway.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And now we're kind of getting into like maybe never have I ever, and we're kind of like feeling a little bit more bold,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507do you like, do you like, like him?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And now I'm gonna pretend like there is a Witchy magazine and I'm gonna be like. And I went on a special trip with, I don't know, an older cousin
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506let me get this little scary magazine. Yeah. Went into like a little boutique antique, like semi metaphysical store.'cause they weren't like as prominent back then.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507only hot topic had magazines
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I would subscribe in a heartbeat. Oh.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506So I pull
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I looked over and harm's was looking directly at me and it scared me a little bit.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506oh my God. Okay. I pull up my little witchy magazine and I go, do you guys wanna find out what kind of witch you are?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506At 10 years old I would've wanted nothing more.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Um, so these are all, what kind of witch are you? Quizzes. So it doesn't really matter who takes what. Um, we can go back in the same order again. River, would you like to go first and find out what kinda witch you are? Okay.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506me.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506All right. So this is from forum dot spells eight.com.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. Sure. Did Michael have something to say
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506No, he left. I that very much. He went, I was just like, bro,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506no? We all had that reaction.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. I, this is, this whole segment's a bit. This is nothing I literally do. I know it's a bit, I know it's a bit
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506him on the mic. Him on the mic real. quick.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506like, if you have,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507kind of witch Michael is.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I know we
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506to take it. last. What'd he say?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm just trying to cook.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, fuck off.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. What type of witch are you? Start? Hello, seeker. What is your name? Oh God River.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh God. This is involved.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506and my email address.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506It's nice to meet you, river. In the next few minutes you'll be asked a series of questions To determine your witch type. Please answer them as honestly as possible as you are right now.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Let's begin. What is your sun sign?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Tos
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Borus.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506tos. I'm, uh, I'm, I'm the bull. Ooh.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. Which animal do you feel most drawn to? Whale, owl, frog, butterfly, crow, cat, snake, wolf, bear, cow, or none of the above.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm gonna go with snake.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. Some of these, there's so many options to the answers. Sometimes I'm just like, bro.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506quizzes. They're too complex.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Think of your perfect day. What is the weather like? Light snowfall. Sunny, but not too hot. Thunderstorm with heavy rain, windy and cool. A slight drizzle, cloudy and heavy rain, heavy blizzard, sunny and hot. All weather is good. Weather, cloudy and overcast or none of the above.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I am fascinated by the, none of the above.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I, I feel like I don't want to answer for you, but I feel like sunny, but not too hot is probably,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506exactly what I was gonna pick.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I was like, I don't
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506love sitting outside and not sweating. No, I hear one and then I lock in on that one.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506If you could choose to live anywhere in the world, where would it be? In the mountains, by the ocean. A small town on a farm, a busy city in the forest. None of the above
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506In the mountains.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506in the mountains. Choose one item in your craft that you can't live without.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506of shadows, A ritual knife, A favorite book? A cellist or bowl. Candles. Divinatory tools. Cauldron plants, astrology Chart crystals or incense?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506candles. A hundred percent.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Candles.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I go through so many of them. It's absurd,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Do you have an altar? An altar Is a physical, mental, or virtual place of worship or work where tools are placed? Utilized and displayed? Yes. A permanent one? Yes. A temporary one? Sometimes Depends on the day or no. Alters aren't my thing.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506baby. I got three. Actively. Permanently, so yes. Permanent.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Do you or would you work with Gods or other spirits?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yes.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Well, yes,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506multiple choices, but Yes.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506maybe. And no.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yes.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Where do you prefer to spend your time? The kitchen, the garden school, the community outdoors At night. My home somewhere I can swim the astral somewhere else. The library or my mind.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I like how somewhere else is like just in the middle
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I think that's the, um, that's the, none of the above of, of
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506sort of part.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507don't put it at the end.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506It's all scrambled every time. So I have to mentally say
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, okay. Interesting. Uh, somewhere I can swim.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Interesting. Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I thought you were gonna say you're home.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I, well, my favorite place to be is the river, even though I'm not actively swimming in it. That is just my favorite place to be. Yeah. My namesake.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Something about it. I don't know. I just like it.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And this is question number 10. I don't know if it's the last one. I don't know how many questions there are.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Let's find out there's 50.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Choose. Oh, okay. I thought I read a word. That's not what it is. But anyway,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506choose the definition tool. You are drawn to tea, leaves, ruins, birds, aum, oracle cards, a bowl of water, bones, weather patterns, pendulum, tarot cards, or none of these.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Tarot cards.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I thought that AUM said orgasm just at a quick glance. I was like, whoa. Oh,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506AUM
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I think that's like the Nordic,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506it's like the scratchy, straight lined looking. They kind of look like ruins, but they're not, I
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507It's like, uh, the language. It's og HAM. Right.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yes, that's correct. And I'm sorry if I,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507used primarily to write the early I Irish language
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506mm
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506say, sorry, if I'm mispronouncing it, if it's like Oum or whatever.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506og, og. Am I right?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Aki.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506there is another, oh, this is the last question. Lastly, which, which do you think you are? This feels like a cop out fucking answer. So I guess we can find out what the potential answers are.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I suppose
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507of the above.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506and be like, no, you have to put in the work quiz.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah, it's just gonna go with whatever you say here.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Um, hedge. Hedge. Witch. Secular. Witch. Eclectic. Witch. Cosmic Witch folk. Witch Green Witch. Dragon Witch Kitchen. Witch Hearth. Witch. Wicken witch or, I don't know. That's why I'm here.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It's tricky.'cause I feel like I am an even mixture of folk witch and Hearth Witch.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I would agree.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. So it's a little, if I had to tip the scales one or the other, I would probably say Folk witch.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I would agree with that because I think that Hearth is sort of like with encapsulated within folk, you know what I mean?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. A lot of things are
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm. Folk,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506the results. Oh my God, you're a folk witch. Who would've thought,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Ooh.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506oh, is it eclectic?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506it is,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I fuck. That's the biggest cop out.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah. As a eclectic witch, you are free to draw on and explore topics as you see fit. Your interests and desires move you on your path, not a tradition for you. All doors are open. It's up to you to select or define your rules. Magical ethics and the path forward. That's because, and everything is a eclectic witch. You know what I mean? That's sort of, unless you're following a very,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. And
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507a Wiccan, straight up.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506All right. Let's see. What about the rest? You're, oh my God. What? Well, then why isn't it? Yes.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh my God, of course.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506witch, 10% folk witch, 10% kitchen witch, zero Hearth Witch, 10% secular. Witch, 10 0% water witch 10%. Dragon Witch, 30%. Hey, why weren't you a dragon
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506did that percentage come from?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506don't know. Maybe because you got so many different ones. It like,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Uh,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506maybe.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507majority, like over, over 50% or something.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506That's crazy.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Anyway. You're an eclectic witch.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. And that is how I used to identify early in my practice. So I'm not surprised.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. Poppy.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I gotta look more into that
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506A dragon witch. I know. What the hell is that? You just work with dragons?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506And I said, that's a thing.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I feel like as a 10-year-old, I'd be like, I wanna be a dragon witch.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't wanna be a dragon. All those others sound boring. I don't wanna be in the kitchen.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506No, guys, it's my dragon's
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506dragon.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506with iridescent scales,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506My dragon glows in the dark, you guys.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507oh, okay. So apparently, according to Reddit, a Dragon witch is a witch that instead of worshiping deities, worships like specific dragons,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507like works with dragons.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Fair enough.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Nice. All right,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I couldn't, I can't name any of the dragons off the top of my head except for the one in the Hobbit. That's all I got.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506water dragon.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Mm-hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506dragon.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506for sure. For sure.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507like a couple dragons. I'm like, where are those from?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506there are dragons,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506There's a dragon named like Alazar or something like, it's just like a very specific one. Poppy, would you like to know what type of witch you were born to be?
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. My birthright
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Your birthright. All right. This is from quote v.com.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507quote v
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. This says hello. Welcome to my third quiz. Congratulations.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Hey, to meet you.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I'll keep it brief so you can get on with your quiz taking. Firstly, this quiz is meant to be serious in nature. You can take it for fun too, as a way for witches beginning or not to discover the different paths of witchcraft. I wanna let you know there are so many types more than the 28 I have prepared for you today, Jesus Christ.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Hell yeah, brother.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506However, these are the more basic types of magics in which branches tend to extend from these types. Secondly, you will have multiple results. Witchcraft in nature is meant to be free and uncon conform, un confining. We can be attracted to multiple paths. You will most likely get the eclectic witch result when you are done, but your true results will be in the others you match with. At least they're upfront about that.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Thirdly, I apologize in advance for the X ignore X answers throughout the quiz. It's the only way I could format the quiz the way I want it. Okay. like, ignore this, this option. Okay.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Okay. this
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506further.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507is authentic. this
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506a real witch wrote this,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I just, I, I'm, I just found different ones and was like, okay.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm excited.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Without further ado, let's begin, shall we? And now your first questions are Okie dokie. Sweet. Jesus. You talk a lot. All righty.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507All righty.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506righty then. And then, obviously, I know there was obviously the ignore, but from here on forward, I will be ignoring the ignore.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507the ignore, yeah. I,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506All right. What makes you feel like you are your most powerful? When I'm surrounded by capital B beings, I love or am fascinated with when certain occurrences happens, when a certain occurrence happens, like unexplained events, the time of day or the weather. When I'm doing an activity, when I'm in my desired surroundings or when I have a physical object.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Um,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm laughing.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506She's taking it serious. Don't laugh.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507of them was at, at my preferred time or weather.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. The question was, what makes you feel like you're at your most powerful? And one of the options was, When a certain occurrence happens, like unexplained events, the time of day or the weather is
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Okay.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506most powerful
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Uh,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506or, okay, we're in question one, guys.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506it say?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't know.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. I'm gonna go grab a snack real quick. We might be here
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507types,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, I don't know.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You prefer the dark, the light, or both? I have no preference.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507both
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I You prefer physical art, sound movement.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507movement. I
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You prefer animals, mystical creatures, people and their energy or spirits
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507people
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506you prefer dry environment, humid environment, wet environment.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507what?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Wet.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507What?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You prefer noise, chaos disorder, peace, quiet, tranquility,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507First one?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506noise. Chaos disorder.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You prefer home? The city nature.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507So this is, so, there's so much nuance. Um, I'll say nature
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You prefer life, death.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507life.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506This quiz is like, I'll fucking kill you. You prefer the stars, the sun, the moon.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507The sun
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You prefer stitching, divination, cooking,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507cooking,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506You prefer cold weather or warm weather.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507warm weather. This
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Pick one. I know the elements. Tarot. Ouija. Board crystals, plants.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507um, tarot
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Pick one. Technology or books.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507books,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Pick one. Wildfires, snow storms. The seas or lakes? Trees.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507trees,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Pick one. Spring, summer, fall, winter.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507summer.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Pick what you would say. I choose my own fate. Quite frankly, I don't care. Or fate decides for me.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507the first one,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I do love, quite frankly, I don't care. And look at this cute little picture of an eagle shrugging with it. It's just so funny. Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I would much rather work with the earth, the things you can't see, spirit, animals, my ancestors, the universe, or myself.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507the universe.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506This is the photo for the universe.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh. And looking like cosmic fish right there.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. I thought you were gonna talk about the cosmic fish earlier in the hypothetical. By the way.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh no. God,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Who are you? What? How would you describe yourself? I am mysterious, wise and observant. I'm a dreamer, a daydreamer, and a pleasant. I'm hectic, energetic and wild. I'm quiet, reserved, and shy. I'm bubbly, happy and go-lucky, or I'm bright. I'm strong-willed. And I'm optimistic.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507that one.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. All right. That is it for this quiz. If you want to take some more personality quizzes. La, la, la, la, la, la. With all that. You ready? Yeah. Let's go. Green witches.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507green.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506A green witch truly has a green thumb for plants aren't just their friends. Do you want me to read the whole thing? It's kind of long.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507No, you're fine. Green. Which is good. Does it show percentages for the, for the other
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506No, but it did say you would get multiple, and I'm not seeing multiple, which is interesting.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I'll take Green,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Green,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507not a green witch, but I'll take it.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506a nurturer. I mean, you picked nature in summer and life and so a tree. Yeah. So it does
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506why, they
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506For 28 different types. I would think there would be more questions to really
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506it down.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't know how quizzes work. So
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I don't either.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507they put work into that though.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506They did. They did. I mean, there may have been like multiple options per option, if that makes sense. And then it like narrows down.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm. By like how many
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506you picked? Yeah,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Like at the flow chart type thing?
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. And then I will do the last one, which hopefully is short.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506that one was pretty short.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah, we just had chaos.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And this is from the witch of lupine hollow.com.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Okay. What is your astrological sun sign? Leo? Oh, this one's only seven questions. Hell yeah.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506What is your astrological sun sign? I just answered that girl. Oh. What is your astrological moon sign? Libra. Which of the following causes are you most passionate about? Women's rights, homelessness, education, saving the environment, mental health advocacy or racial inequality, inequality and discrimination. They said pick one bitch.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507mm-hmm.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506one and it's gonna live on air forever.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Um, I'm gonna go with women's rights.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Typical
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506would you re speak on that? Yes. Do you
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507White woman
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506the way you looked up at the webcam. Oh,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Sorry. I'm very sensitive to misogyny, so
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507with your husband? I.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah, that's the, that's the joke. Okay. How would you rather spend your weekend curled up at home with a good book, tending your garden, painting, drawing, or otherwise creatively expressing yourself, volunteering for a cause. You believe in hiking, cooking a beautiful meal for your family, stargazing, meditating, and doing self-development. In my ideal world, it's painting and drawing, but realistically it's probably curled up with a good book, so I will go with that. Which of these spiritual activities do you engage in most often? Tarot. Screwing are other forms of divination, communing with nature, herbalism, creating sacred space and building altars, studying the heavens and astrology activism to bring witchcraft into the mainstream. Creative self-expression through art or following the lunar cycle. Hmm, probably divination. How would you describe your personal aesthetic? Dark, moody colors with a mystical flare. Bright expressive colors with a contemporary edge. Greens and neutrals with an earthy vibe. Warm, cozy colors that always feel like autumn. It depends, but generally I would say dark moody colors with a mystical flare. Which of the following Pagan sabbats is your favorite? It's obviously Halloween. Soen. Enter your email to find out.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Oh
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506my God. I knew one of'em was gonna take the email.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507yeah. I was shocked that the other ones didn't.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. love emailing you your results.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506please hold. You just put like elevator music in here.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Just soft jazz.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh, okay. You are a shadow witch.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Ooh, okay.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Shadow witches focus on deep, meaningful transformation and the powerful process of shadow work.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Pretty accurate.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Clocked your ass.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And it says more that I don't feel like reading.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Mm-hmm.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And now my, my mom comes upstairs and she we're laughing and giggling and maybe squealing.'cause maybe we scared ourselves and we saw a little shadow creature scuttle by and we're going,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Telling our ghost stories from
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506yeah, exactly. And my mom's coming up and she's like, you kids need to get your asses to bed. I'm trying to fucking sleep. And so now, we gotta hush and go to bed. And as we're going to bed, we're whispering together a portal reemerges, and we look at each other in silence and we nod.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507no, we have to go back to 2026.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506I know we have to go back to the future.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506the horrors.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506So we wormhole noise, we got plopped and, uh, sorry, you're covered in Ectoplasm now. That's just part of the, that's just part of the deal.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It's just part of the process,
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. But now you know what kind of witch you are and like,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Thank
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506you're fun and like you're destined to be with or whatever.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506and if you like yourself or not
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Incredible.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506like myself in a, a shadow witch, I could have told you that.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and I'm a green witch.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I'm gonna, I'm gonna go with a crazy cutie with a animal print cowboy hat, and I'm an eclectic witch.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Honestly, that all checks out. I,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507all right. Well, do we have any final thoughts? My friends?
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506I am just happy to have human interaction again. It's been a really long week for me personally, as somebody that lives alone and hasn't been able to leave their apartment on account of inclement weather.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. I'm tired of being Snowden.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. I'm, I haven't been able to go on my little mental health walks and it is affecting my mental health.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506wouldn't, you know it.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507I'll, I mean,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506makes a difference.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507three hour recording session has definitely revitalized me a little bit.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506a little scared for it to end, if I'm
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Yeah. Uh, well, if you wanna tell us what kind of witch you are or if you've ever been stuck inside of a volcano, or if you need to make a little bit of money, we're not gonna give you any. But you can email us and tell us about it at death coven pod@gmail.com. You can also go to Instagram and check out those Instagram, or, sorry, those, um, quizzes that sky's gonna post over there at Death Coven Pod.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Please, please, please.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507Tell us who
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506It'll be
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507what boy you're gonna marry,
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506Yeah. Let's compare boys
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507and with that by the power of three.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506And so it is.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506and so it is,
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507so it is.
money-bags-river--big-baller-_1_02-01-2026_101506let, I'll take one more deep breath if we can. Everybody, listeners, get in on this nice deep breath, in and out through the mouth.
skye_1_02-01-2026_101506Oh.
stinky-crumble-crawler--p-u-_1_02-01-2026_101507there we go. Oh man. All.