The Dry Diaries
Welcome to The Dry Diaries. The one and only digital diary, with your author, Alex Dry. Every week, Alex opens the pages to share new entries- diving into the truth, the details, and everything in between. No filters, no edits—just the dry, unfiltered moments you’ve been waiting for. From the highs and lows of dating and relationships to health & wellness, travel, pop culture, and, of course, it wouldn’t be a proper diary entry without a conspiracy theory investigation— The Dry Diaries is your tell all to the secrets no one else dares to share. But it’s not just Alex. She’ll be bringing in friends, experts, and everyday people, each opening up their own diary vaults. These conversations go beyond the surface and offer a rare, inside look at what’s really going on. Welcome to The Dry Diaries- every entry has a secret worth sharing, and trust me, nothing is off-limits.
The Dry Diaries
From Football To Life Lessons: Turning Grief, Pressure, And Purpose Into A Playbook
Welcome to another entry of The Dry Diaries! This week I sat down with Foster Sawyer- former Division I quarterback at TCU and Stephen F. Austin, now Director of Football at AP Ranch, a nonprofit that works with elite athletes like Travis Hunter and many more. Foster opens up about his journey as a college athlete: the highs, the heartbreaks, the transition of transferring schools, and the injury that ultimately changed everything.
Through it all, Foster found the space to rediscover who he was beyond football — his identity, his passion, and his purpose. Now, he’s leading one of the top 7v7 football programs in Texas, coaching and mentoring.
We also talk about something even deeper- the loss of his sister Tara at just 10 years old to a rare amoeba, and how his family continues to honor her life through the Tara Sawyer Foundation.
And yes… we did get into dating. Foster’s single (ladies, I fully approve), and in a world full of surface-level, he's one of the rare ones.
This episode is about resilience, purpose, grief, growth, and choosing to turn pain into legacy. His DMs are open, so if you're single here's your chance (not me playing matchmaker)... Follow him here. Learn more about AP Ranch.
To My Dearest, Click To Send Your Anonymous Question
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The best thing that we could have done for the devil is to not have just been like, no, we don't like baseball anymore. You know, that's too close to home or moving away or whatever. It's like, no, we're gonna feel this and we're gonna turn this pain into something greater.
unknown:Is this a dry diary with your authority Alexander Dry?
SPEAKER_04:It's your author, Alex Dry, and I am back with another entry of the Dry Diaries today. I have Foster Sawyer.
SPEAKER_01:Hello.
SPEAKER_04:Um he is the director of football at AP Ranch and has played football for years now. Yeah, retired now. Retired, yeah. He actually just got off the field. So if you guys are familiar with Texas or have been to Texas during the summer, it's super hot outside. It's brutal, brutal, yeah, and humid. So yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And we're on a ranch, like an actual ranch, too.
SPEAKER_04:So like the sun just reflects, especially because there's a pond, so I feel like it reflects off the water, which makes it 10 times hotter.
SPEAKER_02:And we're on turf too, so that doesn't help. But it hasn't been too bad, but it's it's about to get pretty bad this summer.
SPEAKER_04:So uh tell us a little bit about your position at AP Ranch, what you do.
SPEAKER_02:So I'm director of football operations here at the ranch here in Fort Worth, Texas, and uh we just help kids, help kids try to, you know, stay in the game of life. Uh that's why I tell my parents all the time and kids is uh if we can keep keep them busy with the football in their hand, or for us we're running track or basketball, whatever it is, keeping them in the game of life. And um, I love it. I love work. We have 10-year-olds all the way up to college kids, and uh we just finished up to some tra or uh some NFL draft prep with Travis Hunter. We hosted Cam Ward. Uh so we see we see all types of athletes here, but um kids, you know, young athletes is my is my specialty.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. So for those who aren't familiar, AP Ranch is a nonprofit sports facility that was started in Fort Worth, Texas, originally by my dad.
SPEAKER_02:Yep, 2013, I believe.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, and then Foster came on as well as a few other coaches that run the different sports. So there's football, basketball, track, and I mean a little bit of volleyball.
SPEAKER_02:We host, yeah, we host volleyball. Host volleyball players. Yeah, we host soccer events, but our sports are mainly track, football, and basketball. Um, so and it it's cool because like Jonathan Grazer, head strength coach, and um me and him uh we're trained by Coach Greg, you know, Dalton trained with him. So Greg Scholler is our head director, and he's the man. So it's cool for all of us to come back and it's a it's a true family around here.
SPEAKER_04:So yeah. So it's basically to help kids come train that maybe wouldn't get the opportunity to get the training, and then also jumpstart them into being seen by different coaches to help them get college scholarships.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I would say like the mission statements just to, like I said, to help them individually, whatever their journey is in life. Uh, but yeah, our biggest goal for these kids is to find a way to get school paid for. So whether that's running around in a circle on the track meet or going to football as far as you can, whatever that is, to get school paid for and set them up for success beyond just being the best athlete, just be the best individual you can be. So we use our connections and um, you know, and uh help a lot of schools in the area in the Fort Worth that need some help.
SPEAKER_04:So obviously, being the director of football, you have to have a background in football and a love for football. So, where did it all begin?
SPEAKER_02:That's a good question, where it began. Um played multiple sports growing up as a kid. Uh, grew up in a house with uh three brothers. Um, so one sister, and it was very competitive. So we played, I played baseball, football, and basketball all the time. I mean, that's that's all we did was sports. Uh from there, I fell in love with what football offered, and that was relationships. Like that's what it came down for me. So I played quarterback, uh, went to school all saints, right down the road, go Saints, and then went to TCU for three and a half years uh from 14 to 17, somewhat highly recruited, uh, but I wanted to stay home in Fort Worth and then went to Stephen F and finished my career there.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. So what made you transfer from TCU to Stephen F Austin?
SPEAKER_02:That's a good question. Uh it was pretty tough. I just so the quarterback position you have to play and get better. Um, and I found myself when I did play, not like I didn't feel like Foster. Um, and I felt this pressure constantly over my shoulder, whether it was from myself or from people that knew me and my family, just in this area. Um, I had to just get away from this town. You know, I love Fort Worth, love everything that came from it, but it got to the point where it really affected my mental and my my game. Um, so I wanted to journey away or journey off, and that just led me to East Texas and Stephen F. Austin. Um, don't want to bore you with the rules and stuff, but it's before the transport portal, so you have to drop down a level, or else I would have to sit out a year. So yeah, I like to say it was uh Stephen F was a very challenging time for me, but it was the best thing for me.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Adversity-wise. Like I had to overcome a lot, and now I'm sitting here and doing I love.
SPEAKER_04:So no, I think that's the best thing. I mean, for me, I grew up in Fort Worth, but getting away is the best thing that ever happened. And I think it just brought obviously like a new perspective. You're introduced to new people, new cultures, new things.
SPEAKER_03:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:Where you kind of get stuck in a bubble if you are staying in your hometown. So was it at TCU the fact that the pressure of the people you grew up around and them being there at the games and wanting you to perform, or what was a little bit of everything.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, I'm a I want to make my circle proud, first and foremost. I'm still like that today. Uh, that's all I care about. Um, and they want at the end of the day, they just want me happy, is what I learned. And that's not about how many touchdowns I throw. It's about, am I doing what I love and am I happy? Um, so the pressure I felt was just from the self that I put on my like on myself to where I generally found myself each throw, I was like finding my identity in each throw, in each practice. And it wasn't a healthy thing because, as you know, quarterback, there's a lot of failures and success. So, good or bad, I started finding my identity in this game. And um, it just wasn't healthy to the point where I could just play free and have fun and do what I love. And that's why I teach my kids now just do it because it's a fun sport, like do it for fun, don't do it to please your parents or your uncle or whoever. So I don't know, that's a that's a tough question. I think it just it came down to the point where I was in a spiral, spiral effect to pleasing others and coaches and all that. And I just had to disappear to be like, what does foster want?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Do you think that came from childhood, or is it just something the way that you are and who you are as a person, you're always putting pressure on yourself to be successful, perform well.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Well, you're a high achiever too. I mean, you like to, you're the same way. I mean, we want to when you do something, you want to do it to your full ability. Um, and I'm a passionate person, so it's like I'm either all in or I'm all out. Yeah, and I'm not saying that's right. Sometimes it's you're trying to find that balance. Yeah. That's still today. I'm still learning that. Um, but yeah, I would say as a little kid, uh school, school was always tough. I'm super dyslexic. Uh, I've gotten better. Really?
SPEAKER_04:I didn't know you were dyslexic.
SPEAKER_02:Really? Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, so I uh had some trauma when I was a little kid. My family, we lost my sister uh when I was right before my birthday when I was seven.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I want to get into that in a little bit.
SPEAKER_02:Um, but yeah, long story short, like I would just started reading right before that part, like before that happened, my family. And then I couldn't read for about over a year, two years. Like I but my math and stuff kept like my I was good at math, I was good at sports, so I was like, wow, I love math and I love sports because that's what I was good at. And uh so from there to answer your question, that's where I started finding my identity as a kid, was based on my performance because that's where I got my attention, that's where I got my affirmation. That's when people noticed Foster in my mind. Yeah, you know, I was lucky to have amazing parents, but like there's no better feeling than a parent being like, great job today on the baseball field. So then from there, I find I was like, I'm gonna hold on to that feeling.
SPEAKER_04:That's where you got the verbal affirmation, correct. So then, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:100%. And I'm the youngest, I grew up the youngest. My parents popped out my little brother Jack, but like I when you're the youngest, it went out there, you understand.
SPEAKER_04:Like sometimes kind of get lost in the sauce.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, like if you don't speak up the dinner table, you're not gonna get heard. So how I got heard was sports, grooving, yeah. Yeah, so okay.
SPEAKER_04:Well, before we jump into the deeper topics, we're gonna do just the dry diary confessionals. So it's just little questions for people to get to know you.
SPEAKER_02:Pause. I hope y'all notice this. She's got the nicer mic, which we sit down and she she made me sit over here because this is part two. So yeah, I was like, oh, interesting.
SPEAKER_04:It sounds the same.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, okay. As long as y'all can hear me, that's all that matters.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I I actually have another one of these mics, but it just looks cooler. It was just too much to set up. Yeah, okay. Okay, so as you mentioned, putting a lot of pressure on yourself, gaining affirmation through achievements.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:That's kind of a superpower in a way, because you're for like a there's the opposite of having no motivation at all, and it kind of jump starts you to be self-motivating in some ways.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So if you could pick any superpower, what would it be?
SPEAKER_02:That's a good question. Probably flying. I feel like time travels too much. I would say time traveling just so I can go back and uh correct all my wrong bets in Vegas. But um, yeah, I'd probably just say flying, just get from point A to point B.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know. I love superheroes. That's a tough question for me. So I feel like this should just come out, but like I don't know. What what's yours? What would yours be?
SPEAKER_04:Either mind reading, which I feel like I can already kind of do that.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah. A little bit. Wow.
SPEAKER_04:Um, or maybe being invisible.
SPEAKER_02:Really? Interesting. Why?
SPEAKER_04:Just so you can be in certain rooms at certain times and hear things that go on to kind of get insight before they happen. I my number one was always time travel, but at the same time, I feel like that would maybe give me too much anxiety because I'd always I'm already a person that plans 10 steps ahead, like for future wise.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And so I feel like it'd almost do myself a disservice to time travel.
SPEAKER_02:Like reading minds would give you anxiety too, though. That sounds like that sounds I don't want to be in some people's minds.
SPEAKER_04:Like meeting reading minds as in like you choose whenever you turn it on and off. And I also think that the gift of mediumship is cool.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Where you can touch base with people who have passed.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, so what's the funniest thing that has happened to you during a football? Game or practice?
SPEAKER_02:Game or practice. There's so many. I have to keep it. Some of my teammates have to keep it PG.
SPEAKER_04:Uh or what's the most memorable, I guess?
SPEAKER_02:The most memorable. I don't really remember like my championships. Like in high school, we won two state championships. Like I don't remember those games. Like, not because like I remember I remember the like the main plays, but the most memorable for me, it's funny, because I was just talking to my parents about this yesterday. Was uh we played Mississippi Mississippi State, and it was my first game after my knee surgery. And taking that field, we're playing Mississippi State, and they're number two in the nation for defense. They're really, really good. And our the O-line's not very good, which that's who protects me. So I'm going up to the Goliath. This is at Stephen F.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. And um And for those who don't know, the knee injury you had was a torn.
SPEAKER_02:I tore my ACL, MCL, meniscus, everything. Yeah. Yeah. But just to take that field and just like to feel the presence of God. Like I felt him. Um, and it was like it was such a calming experience because it was like something I overcame adversity-wise. It's like the hay is in the barn. Just go play the game you're meant to go play. And like I will never feel I still get like goosebumps feeling about that. Like, we got our shit kicked in this game. Like, they we got rocked, but I just remember taking that field and being like with God's help and friends and family and coaches, but like no one could take away that feeling for me to be like we we got ourselves out of bed, essentially. Because it was it was a dark place for me, and it was it was awesome just to be like take that field again and to play something that was taken away from you. So I don't know. Uh that's that's but there's some funny stories I have in college. I mean, it's it's never ending. I mean, you know, Novak and all the other there's some there's some funny stories that we have.
SPEAKER_04:You played with him at TCU?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Oh you didn't know that?
SPEAKER_04:No.
SPEAKER_02:What God, that's like one of so Alex, she's super smart, but that's like Novak's like one of our best friends. She's friends with her his wife, Caroline, and yeah, yeah, Sloat, me, and uh Novak.
SPEAKER_04:Sometimes I just don't put two and two together. Okay, so if you could have dinner with any athlete, past or present, who would it be and why?
SPEAKER_02:Pastor present, professional athlete.
SPEAKER_04:Doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, my role model growing up is Tom Brady. That's gotta be that's gotta be one of them. Tom Brady would be pretty cool. One of the one of the coolest guys that we've had here at the ranch, actually, people love is Jameis Winston, too, that's in the NFL. Like just a pure, just a good energy guy. Like, yeah, I would love to go golf and like hang out with him and Tom Brady together. Yeah, that would be like ideal.
SPEAKER_04:Anytime I think of Tom Brady, I just think of the roast.
SPEAKER_02:The roast? Oh, yeah. I watched it. It was funny. I was that was impressive for him to take all that and not even flinch.
SPEAKER_04:So um, okay, what is one thing you're really proud of that doesn't have anything to do with sports?
SPEAKER_02:I would say my family and friends, like my friends, my circle. Uh, maybe it has to do with sports, but like I take pride in who I surround myself with, and I'm very proud of my circle. Uh, I have a lot of friends, but like, you know, like you know, like there's some that just there's layers to it. Yeah. And I'm just like very uh honored, and like I love the people that are in my life for sure. I would say that's the probably the proudest thing. And then I'm also proud of our football program at the ranch. The boys are look my the boys are killing it. We just once 13-year-olds just won state. Uh 15-year-olds are number five in the nation. We were number one at one point, but it's cool to well, that has to do with sports, but yeah, everything's sports.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Um, so what do you defined as a good friend?
SPEAKER_02:Just show up. Like just show up, and that could be texting, phone call, um, just watching a game, being present. Um, I think people try to give too much advice sometimes, or they try to be there, and that's that's healthy, that's good sometimes, but sometimes just being just being next to them. And like I said, if you can't physically be next to them, you gotta call them, just show up for them. And then from there, I mean at least for me, then that's when you can be more open and you know, tell them what you're dealing with or whatnot. But just a good friend is doing something just because and not expecting anything in return.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So I don't know, what do you think? So consistency, yeah. Consistency is probably the the word. What what what do you define a best friend or a good friend?
SPEAKER_04:I think it's someone who's there for you unconditionally without expecting anything in return. Because we're I was actually just talking about this with someone, and she was saying, honestly, it's hard to find anybody that's a friend these days that doesn't show some form of like jealousy or resentment.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And if you find someone like that, keep them close. And I think that it just boils down to finding people that I don't know, I feel like you can tell when you find a good friend through obviously consistency of like communication, but just also unconditional love. Like they're always there for you, and they do go out of their way to do things without expecting anything in return. It's never what am I gonna give you and what can I get back? Yeah, which is like hard to find.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, which is most of everybody. I mean, people say at the time, I mean, you're lucky to have three to five really good friends. And that goes back to what I said, well, I'm so happy. Like I have I have those in my life. And um, it's also cool to be that too to people, yeah, to be that good friend, to show up, and because in order to have a good friend, you have to in order to have good friends, you have to be a good friend, kind of thing. I think loyalty too, though. Yeah, that's consistency, I guess, all in the same umbrella.
SPEAKER_04:Like, yeah. Let's say you get to make your own walk-up song for life. What would you be picking?
SPEAKER_02:For life?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, just about your life.
SPEAKER_02:Like kind of like what would I want to be like?
SPEAKER_04:Like a theme song. Well, that's deep and dark.
SPEAKER_02:Or okay, like a wedding, like okay. My theme song, my walk-up theme song. I mean, Dalton probably already knows what it would be. It'd be Iris by Goo Goo Dolls. Goo dolls. Yes.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:For sure.
SPEAKER_04:Wait, what's Iris? It's I'm thinking of Slide.
SPEAKER_02:That's just that's like their second, third song.
SPEAKER_04:Oh.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Just look it up. Sing a little second. Sing a little second. I'm good.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:No karaoke today.
SPEAKER_04:What's your go-to karaoke song?
SPEAKER_02:Probably that. Or Sugar We're Going Down Swingin'. I mean, obviously your country like songs, but Sugar We're Going Down Swinging. Okay. And Iris are probably about two, two songs.
SPEAKER_04:That's very typical boy karaoke song answers. If you weren't working in football or at the foundation, what would your dream job be?
SPEAKER_02:Something with traveling the world, probably. Something to where I could like meet a lot of people now, which sounds crazy because if you would told me, Yeah, I feel like that's not me the typical answer I would expect. I mean, just something different, I guess. Like if it wasn't this, like this is my dream job. Like, I'm in it, and I like can like believe it, like to my core.
SPEAKER_04:Um, but I feel like you don't travel a lot.
SPEAKER_02:No, I I don't. That's why I'm saying, like, if I wasn't doing this, it'd be a dream, right? Something that's not what you're in, like a different world almost, like something that where I could travel as like a businessman. I don't know. Sales. Okay. I like sales, but it'd have to be a product or something that like would change and help people. You know what I mean? Like, um, medical sales.
unknown:I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:Is that one of your goals? Is to travel?
SPEAKER_02:No, no. I I would say that's on my bucket list to do like to work on f like yeah, to go like I want to travel more, like I would go on vacation more and like plan it. I don't plan like what you're talking about, like planning like in advance. Like, I forgot we were doing this today.
SPEAKER_03:I know.
SPEAKER_02:So um, I'm just a kind of doer, uh, but like I wanna, yeah, I want to go travel a little bit more.
SPEAKER_04:I feel like you plan things out with your life and goals, but as in like to-dos every day, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I just wake up and go.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um, but like I'm I'm not saying like I would like to go to like maybe not for a long time, I go see Europe. I go to Europe for a little bit or something, but I don't know. Going to Florida's enough for me too, though.
SPEAKER_04:So yeah, yeah, we're going to Florida for July 4th. To preface, Foster's basically a part of our family at this point.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So he comes with us to all of our family vacations, get-togethers, dinners, Vegas trips. It's just expected that Foster will be there. So we're all going for July 4th, and then my cousins. We also got another Airbnb because Jake's coming. I guess he's like my second cousin.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I don't. I think Jeff, y'all's actual cousin has tried to explain. And try to explain that. I don't get it. I don't understand like how it's Jeff's second cousin.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I don't know. We just have a really big family, so foster is just an extended part of it.
SPEAKER_02:It's just that booger you can't flick off. It just does.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, so now to get a little deeper, you touch that you are the youngest.
SPEAKER_02:Well, not youngest, there's Jack, but the first youngest, if you ask my parents.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that doesn't really make sense.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, it does. I grew up the youngest.
SPEAKER_04:You come with the family of there's four boys, yeah, and you had a sister. Correct. So can we chat a little bit about your sister and her story?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Well, to answer the what the argument, so it's Preston's my oldest brother, then it's Tate. Okay, but it was Preston, Tara who passed away. Tate, me, we grew up all 18 months apart. Ten years later, my parents popped out Jack. So like I grew up the youngest. Yeah. And then Jack's like, we're still super close. Jack's my dude. But like I grew up, you know, the one that was the youngest in the group. Um, but yeah, so my sister, she passed away when she was 10. Uh, she attracted uh amoeba, which basically uh a disease that went through went through her nose at the lake that we were all swimming at, and it uh killed her brain and put her put her in a coma. So crazy.
SPEAKER_04:How rare did did they tell you like how rare something like that is?
SPEAKER_02:I mean, yeah, I'm sure someone knows like the statistics of like how like the how rare that would be in the case, especially with all of us swimming in that area, and the fact that it went through her nose. That was the first case that ever happened at that lake. No way, and then there was another one pretty quickly. I can't remember if it was a year or two or a couple years. Oh, that's crazy. Um, yeah, actually, even I was at SFA in a class, and my teacher somehow this came up of Niglaria, Omoeba, and they said yes, if there was a very she she brought it up towards like there was two cases, and one of them was a 10-year-old girl. And uh it it really shook all of us. So y'all, oh, it was 4th of July. She was talking about being safe in the lakes. Oh wow, and she brought it up and was like, y'all be careful, make sure. Was it about your sister? Yeah, she said there's a there's a a dirt a girl that was like 10 years old, um, back in like early 2000s, like to a T, she was talking about my sister, and I went up to her after class, Miss Bradley. If you're listening, it was it was crazy, crazy out-of-body experience too, where I was like, Yeah, what you were talking about, that was my sister, and she broke down like crying.
SPEAKER_04:So yeah, it was crazy. But where does the amoeba come from?
SPEAKER_02:Is it still water? So, like anything like heat and humidity and still water, and that's how the bacteria are. I mean, I'm not a scientist, but that's how it anything with like hot, still water is not um not that's where it happens. It got to the point where like water would like go through our nose. Like, you know, people drink water hoes, you know, baseball, wiffle ball, and like I'd get someone in our nose. Like me and my brothers remember like I remember my brother panicking once, like he thought he was about to get it. So we had a battle through that, but yeah, just absolutely crazy. Because that is the crazy part was she just lost a World Series. I think they got like fourth in baseball. She was a badass, she played not softball, baseball. Select at that, like played at a high level. And she was so competitive, and when she lost, that was the first place she said to my parents. I remember vividly, she was like, I want to go to the lake. Oh wow, I want to go to the lake and get away. Because she took it, she's like me, like even when I lose you seven-done seven games, like it's like a defeat. It is like, you know, me and her are very similar in that in that area. Um, which I know your families too, how competitive y'all are. So um, but that was the ironic part, was that that's where she wanted to go.
SPEAKER_04:So dang. So once she you guys were at the lake and the amoeba went up her nose and she got a headache. Yep. And shortly after was in the hospital.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, she went into our lake house and um was just like, mom and dad have a headache. And like, you know, you know, drink some water. And I don't I mean, I remember her saying that she had a headache, but I do all I remember is like them getting in the car at the lake house. My Mima was there, and my parents were like, We're gonna take Tara to the hospital with the doctor. Y'all, and the next thing you know, like a couple of days, literally a couple days later, I we're back in Cook's hospital right down the road from here, and she's she's in a coma. So I didn't get to say goodbye or nothing. It just she I remember her getting the car, and that was it. So and she was 10. She was 10, yeah. And uh I feel like people say this, but like she was wise above her, like beyond her years, to the point where it was like it's crazy, like how how mature she was and her presence, and how she how much she loved God, like hold held us accountable. Like my parents still talk today about it, like they were like talking about how Tara made them better in spirituality, and she was the type of person to where she always looked out for the little person, so yeah, um, and that's kind of why I love like that's why I'm saying that this is my dream job because like that's what the ranch is about. Like, we're looking for the diamonds in the rough, the underdog, the and to and to protect that. So yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I remember you told me that she was a Sagittarius because we were talking about how she uh had very straightforward, like fiery energy as well.
SPEAKER_02:No, she would her birthday's instead of about the remote control. Oh the oh yeah, yeah. So I'm I like I said, I'm very protective of my circle, my family and friends, like to the point where you have to earn my trust. Like, I'm very protective. So, with that, I'm also protective of my sister and the stories that are being told about her, and they're all true. Most of them, the ones that people are talking about, they just remember the the good ones where it's like she was so sweet, she was the she was an actual angel. And I'm like, hold on here. She also has some fire, she literally threw a controller at my head after I beat her in uh 64. I think it was baseball game or blitz or something. But I'm talking like I remember that stuff vividly. Like she chunked this controller and it hit me right here, and you couldn't tell her anything, you know, she was just fiery. But probably the other story I told you too. On the back end of that, I remember playing a baseball game called uh backyard baseball. Yeah, put so much time and effort into it, and I lost in the World Series, and I sprint to my room crying, and uh she was the first one to come out of her room and be like comforting me. I remember her just like comforting me in the corner, but it's okay. And I remember my head in the pillow and like crying, no, it's not like I failed, and all the stuff, and she's like, You're fine, yeah, just that comforting, like big sister, and yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So have you felt her presence or her spirit comforting you since she's passed?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, that's uh it's crazy you ask because um we you know we had this podcast before she deleted it. I think I just didn't do a good job. This is part two, but yeah, I uh I had an experience last week.
SPEAKER_04:Really?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it was my first like I saw her in high school once with the baseball at church. And I'm talking it's as quickly as like a like a subway. Boom, like you see, not the sandwiches, like the subways in New York, right? Yeah, where there's how quickly you just see somebody go by. She was on the stage and it was holding a baseball. Um, and it was the baseball that was like signed an autograph that I remember putting at her grave. Um but this one, yes, I saw her um last week for the first time.
SPEAKER_04:Can you share?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I mean, I I've only told a couple of my friends, um Dalton being one of them, and a couple in my family, but yeah, so it was an out-of-body experience. Um just found myself at my um went to go see Tara and my Mima, who I was really close to. They're buried right next to each other. Um, and just finding, you know, anyone that has loss, sometimes it just hits. Out of nowhere. Like you just kind of have this overall, you know, yeah, just missing them, loneliness. And um found myself there and dropped off these roses. And I just kind of found myself just kind of sitting back, taking life in, uh, look up in the sky and not really praying or yelling at God, but just kind of being like, What am I? Well, how do I how am I here? kind of thing. Back here again. Like, how am I in this place mentally? Um, because everything's great, yeah, you know, but just that day and stuff just kind of just hit. Long story short, look down and I see my sister in this dirt, like half of her face looking at the roses, and it's you couldn't tell me different. I take the picture and sent to people, and they're like, they don't, they're nice, of course, and they're pretty that's awesome. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, no, no, she's that that was real. Like, I saw my I saw my sister, and I haven't I haven't seen Tara in I mean since I was since I was seven, but it was her like skeleton, but she was alive, and I can't explain it, and it's all within seconds to the point where it actually made me like nauseous. I had to like walk away. Um but uh point being the cool part though is Alex, I it was her face and she was alive, and I knew it instantly, it just shook me. And it was the side of her jaw, like it was everything, and she's looking at these roses, and then just taking a step back. Metaphor to me, my experience, God gave me a little token, whatever you want to call it, to see my sister to where it is. It is death, but it's death looking at life. And um, I walked away from that grave like ready to go, excited. So it was it was it was special. Um, so I wasn't playing on top of that today.
SPEAKER_04:But um, yeah, it was uh did you hear her speak anything, or you just like saw it.
SPEAKER_02:Just was her teeth, her jaw, her hair. Oh wow. It was like her skeleton, but it was you know, if you think skeleton, you think death and like you know, like haunting stuff. Yeah, it was like the coolest, coolest thing ever.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, that's awesome!
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I can't, I cannot explain it.
SPEAKER_04:Um, so how long was it there? Very brief.
SPEAKER_02:How long? Oh, it was like seconds, it felt like whatever it's like it is tattooed in my brain. Yeah, um, so much to the point where like, yeah, it and then as I was telling people, I'm like, am I crazy? You know, yeah, and that, but then I had another step back, and it was just like my mom had to remind me, she's like, No, like that was meant for you. Yeah, that was meant for you, and she believed me and all that stuff to the point where it was like, yeah, so it was it was cool. So I don't know if anyone has had that experience to where I believe you, yeah. Like, call me, text me, whatever, or if you need someone to talk to, now you know, because people people always ask, like, do you see her? I've seen her in dreams, but I never saw her face in dreams. It's almost as if like I know like that's my sister, yeah, but I've never like people say like if you hear their voices, like that's like God like really tapping in to you. Yeah, um, never had that. Like, I've had almost kind of like how like like the presence like looking at you here, but I've never like saw her face until this time, even if it's a skeleton, and it was crazy, so yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:No, I believe it. I've never heard of someone having like the skeletal view of it, but I've personally experienced seeing my grandmother, and it was the craziest thing to the point where I was like, people are gonna think I'm crazy. But I ended up passing out because it was like so overwhelming that I fainted because I knew she was trying to give me a message, but I didn't know what it was, and it was happening all day long, and I just felt off, and I had told people since that morning something's not right. Yeah, and then that night I was like closing my eyes and I could see her, but she was like going away. I don't know, it was crazy. So I mean, I don't discredit it, and I think that whenever you have those signs, it's always in the moments where you need it the most, but you kind of least expect it.
SPEAKER_02:A hundred percent.
SPEAKER_04:So yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Well, I belie I believe you. That's where I mean I'm a spiritual guy, so I think it's a god thing to wear to the point where he always shows up when he if you're just willing to. I guess at the same time, I was willing to maybe see something like that, if that makes sense, to the point where I was like, Yeah, you have to be a little bit open-minded to be able to accept it because obviously she's one of your guardian angels.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So whenever I mean, my thought is always that if someone's looking out for you as your angel, then they're gonna show up in the times you need them, whether it's through maybe seeing them, hearing them, or them sending you a sign.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Like whether it's a butterfly or a bird or something like that. So yeah, that's cool.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Hopefully we're not crazy. I already know I'm a little crazy just in general.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Well, and then also she loved baseball, so to remember her and her honor, you guys started a foundation.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, so um the select baseball world or just baseball, youth, baseball, especially back when we were kids, it was like a family in itself. I mean, like, I never played with Dalton. I didn't even play against Dalton until basketball because Dalton played up, and Dalton's a year older than me. So me and Dalton never really crossed paths, but I know the drillers and all that stuff to the point where um uh it's a community and a family. So when my sister passed, all these coaches and teams and family and friends just put their arms around us, and uh we they're like, let's start a baseball tournament in honor of her. And it probably was like 12 to 15 teams.
SPEAKER_04:Um not that much of from eight-year-olds all the way up to 12, especially because she was the only girl, so she was like the badass of the team.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, my sisters, like I remember I would always play around the other teams' dugouts because I like to talk some crap. And my sister was second base, so I always was I vividly remember like her going into pitch and striking out a couple of these kids, and they're slamming their helmets down, and they're like, and their dad's the coach, of course, over top dead.
SPEAKER_01:Like, how the hell are you gonna let a girl strike you out?
SPEAKER_02:And I'm like, that's no girl, like that's Uno. Yeah, um, Uno was her nickname because she was the only girl, so everyone knew Uno. So when Uno passed, when Tara passed, it was noticeable. I mean, we'd teams from out of state be like, where's Tara? Oh, wow. Um, to the point where that's when we started tournaments. Long story short, it went from 12 to 15, whatever it was, to over five, six hundred teams when we were kind of really letting this tournament take off. And it became the number one tournament in the fall. Oh, that's awesome in the nation, not Texas, in the nation. Uh, my my good close friends or former teammates, like they still send me pictures of them like having the Terra trophy. Like, they still have because it used to be like her picture on it. So, point being she was still alive, yeah. She was still living, like her legacy was still being fulfilled. And the best, the best thing that we could have done for the devil is to not have just been like, no, we don't like baseball anymore, you know, that's too close to home or moving away or whatever. Um, it's like, no, we're gonna feel this and we're gonna turn this pain into something greater. And I mean, what better honor to be able to fundraise and do baseball do life and help kids in need.
SPEAKER_04:Did you guys see more girls start drinking?
SPEAKER_02:There was a couple, there was a couple. I mean, I mean, I know like Alyssa, like she was little sister, she was a stud. I don't I don't remember I don't remember Alyssa playing baseball, but like that type of like, yeah, you started kind of seeing that like a lot more. Um there was one girl, I do remember one girl. Um was when I was already like 14, so I was older on my team. This girl was like 10. Yeah. Around the same time, and I was like, I remember just taking my cleats off and watching this. This team was like from Oklahoma or something, but the girl was a stud.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that's cool. So and I feel like that's kind of everyone, some some of their or most people's life purpose is to leave a legacy behind, and they work, you know, 60, 70 years to do that. And the fact that she had such a strong legacy in 10 years is crazy.
SPEAKER_02:I know it's it is, it's uh yeah, it's and continues to correct.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, so you're 30 30? 31.
SPEAKER_02:I'm 29.
SPEAKER_04:You're 29?
SPEAKER_02:I turned 30 in August.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Here in a couple weeks, so I'm just holding on to the 20s as long as I can.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:It's all downhill.
SPEAKER_04:I tried. Okay, so you're 30 and single. So what how has dating been? What's the update?
SPEAKER_02:Um, non-existent for me right now. I've haven't been able to pursue that side. I've been on a couple dates maybe the past couple months. Uh, but we just finished our seven-on-seven season. We have I have like seven teams, and uh, it's been seven days a week almost sometimes, uh, from January till two weeks ago, so June. Um, so and it's after hours, so I just haven't been able to pursue that part of my life, but as single as single gets over here right now, so um dating's tough. I mean, it's not as simple as it like it was when you're in high school or college, to where it's like, let's go grab dinner, or you know what I mean, or go to a party. Like, no, it's like you have to put effort into it, and yeah, it takes effort.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, and all of your brothers are married, some with kids, except Jack, your youngest brother, right?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I hope, Jack. I hope you don't have a kid out there. Um no, but just my oldest has a kid. Uh his name's Charles.
SPEAKER_04:But the rest are married.
SPEAKER_02:The rest are married. So my two older brothers are married. One the oldest one has a kid. My dad says Jack will be next, and then me. So Okay.
SPEAKER_04:So with all your brothers being married or having children besides Jack, do you uh get the pressure of I mean, not even just from your parents, but from just life life.
SPEAKER_02:Because if I'm being transparent like transparent, like being real, like if you would have probably said like a year ago, like, no, no, we're good over here. And then I am good. I'm happy, like happy in some areas of my life. But yeah, there's no doubt to where it's like, okay, friends are having kids, some friends are even having their second kid, and I've never been the type to be like envious or jealous of that, like, but like I found myself like, oh wow, what are we doing, big guy? Yeah, but it's like, let's go do something. Yeah, because like it is. I mean, a lot of it's on me to like I don't pursue that part of my life enough, yeah. And I need to, um, because I'm so happy with my friends and stuff, but then like friends and family, like they have their lives too, and so they're like, yeah, when I feel the pressure sometimes when you're going back and you're like, okay, what's it's about time to grow up.
SPEAKER_04:But do you think it's a thing because you live in Texas and Fort Worth where the pressure is put on a little bit more?
SPEAKER_02:Or Fort Worth. She hates Fort Worth, though. Okay, she doesn't, but um it's not my favorite place. Fort Worth, I love Fort Worth and I love this area specifically, you know, and um, but it is family-oriented, it is very family-like. And it's where you want to raise a family for me, like that. This is where I want to be. We're Alito, you know, same thing. But um, whereas Dallas, like these bigger cities, there's a lot more single. The pool's bigger, right? Does that make sense? Yeah. So like you're not rubbing shoulders with people that are single, so at least not 30-year-olds, but um, I mean there are, but you know what I mean. It's just not dating life, you know.
SPEAKER_04:I feel like early 30s is like the new 25.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, correct. People are pursuing careers and all that, and I always thought that was a cop out. Yeah, but like I would like 100% say, like, no, I've like I'm so busy and I love my job. This is so much more important to me than anything in my life. And now it's trying to find that balance. Yeah. Where it's like, okay, let's let's bust ass, like, let's kick ass and work, but let's also work on a future family, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But I think it's important, like, I mean, girls, if you're single, Foster's a good candidate.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, here's the number, right?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Um, but I think it is super important to, which I mean, you're not really somebody but that does this, but a lot of guys these days, they're just dating to hook up and not really intentionally dating. And so the fact that, you know, like you focused on your career and then you also focus on yourself, and those come before starting to pursue somebody seriously, I think it's super important because then you kind of have the foundation of okay, I've focused on both these things, and now I feel like I'm ready instead of just jumping into something because you think that, oh, I need to get married right now, or like start having kids.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:If that makes sense.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, no, it does. I think like there's no right timing, yeah. You have to just do it, you know. Like, I I have some friends that are like, we're not ready to have a kid yet. You know, like back of my mind, I'm like, well, are you really ever like ready to have a human being? I don't think so. So um, yeah, that makes I mean that's why I mean it's like it's not like someone's just gonna knock on your door, you know what I mean? Like you have to go pursue it.
SPEAKER_04:So yeah, I think that's my struggle.
SPEAKER_02:I mean too, and I don't want it like it like when I'm done with work, the last thing I'm gonna do is get to know some a random person. I hate to say that. Yeah, I want to, I'm getting that point now in life. I'm like, I'd rather hang out with family and friends, yeah, and enjoy my time.
SPEAKER_04:And like, oh, I'll just jump into them. Yeah, because I don't know, the dating apps, like the back and forth.
SPEAKER_01:It's kind of like on Ryola, whatever it's called. Ryola? Yeah, Raya? Raya, what I don't know. That's close.
SPEAKER_04:I am, but I don't know, it's just like the small talk, you know me, like the back and forth of like, hey, what's up? How are you? Okay, cool. Yeah. And then it's like, what's your real intention here? Because I feel like a lot of people are on those just uh I'm sure stuff like girls specifically.
SPEAKER_02:Like if you're attractive women, like people, like guys are constantly reaching out to you, and like you said, most of them are probably you have to filter to the ones that are just like, are you doing it? You want to get to know me? Are you doing it because you want something else? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So I'm sure it's I feel like most of the time it's just like they want to hook up. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So yeah, that's tough.
SPEAKER_04:One day if you're out there. Yeah. Okay, to end it, we're just gonna do two quick um listener questions. Okay, the first one, Dear Dry Diaries. I'm in a relationship with someone who's super focused on their career, and I feel like they don't make enough time for us. How do I set boundaries around my own needs without seeming meaty? So, how does she like present to him?
SPEAKER_02:It's a she.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um, you're asking me to answer that? What would you say first?
SPEAKER_04:I mean, it depends how far in the relationship you are. But I think just communicating, hey, I feel like we're not spending enough time together, and maybe setting, you know, like one day a week to like watch a movie, have dinner, whatever it is that you feel you best connect with that person.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I feel like that's not being needy, but if you're asking him to maybe hang out every night or every other night, then you just have to see where each other at in the relationship and make sure that you guys are on the same page and meet each other where you're at. Yeah. It's all about give and take.
SPEAKER_02:I would say, like, keep affirming that you want to see that person. So you're you're like you're saying it's a girl, so she needs to keep telling them, like, hey, I like where this is going. Like, I like my time with you.
SPEAKER_04:Well, they're in a relationship.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, so they're in a relationship. So they do like each other.
SPEAKER_04:Like they're dating.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, and and he's not making enough time for her, right? Yeah, she just needs to speak her truths, whatever that means. Like, just like, like, hey, this is what I want, but also like from a guy perspective, and I think just a human thing, like just keep living your own life, and then and like don't don't let your don't be dependent on your happiness on him. Okay, so how does she not go see friends, go do things, go be active, not like in a way like I'm gonna get back at you, you know, like going to bars and stuff like that, but like go be proactive, and then from there he will see that your world's revolving, and then from there, he'll be like, hey, hold on, what about dinner Thursday night? You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, but they're already boyfriend and girlfriend.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, then maybe I'm thinking the dating stage.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, you're like in your phase, but if you're dating a girl, so this is a phase? This this is your you're in your like world of dating. But if you're like if you were boyfriend and girlfriend with someone, okay, yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_02:So they're a couple, they're a couple, you said dating, they said they're seeing in a relationship, okay. Yeah, they need to have some real conversations, yeah. Like, how do we make this work? Because, like, yeah, like they need to pick a night that's date night.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that sounds pretty simple, and I feel like that's not needy at all. No, but if you're asking somebody to hang out maybe four times a week, that's a little bit needy.
SPEAKER_02:See, like, I like to golf, you know. I remember my last relationship, that became like that's what ruined my relationship. No, I didn't, not ruined it, but like I was self-sabotaging a little bit. Uh, because I'd like I don't want to like you know what I mean? Like, I don't like when you're gonna go.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that's some of your things, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:But also, like, I don't want to like hurt feelings, I guess. That makes sense. Like, should have just ended it kind of thing. So I did was I just kept golfing and golfing and like like then start to inviting her to golf. And then at first it was fun, and then got to the point where it's like, are you gonna choose golf for me? And part of me was like, I'm gonna choose golf.
SPEAKER_04:So you're basically going to play golf, so you didn't have to face ending it with her.
SPEAKER_02:But I will say for the kid, like for the crowd, I mean, I I invited her at first and she did, and but then I was like, it got to the point where it was three days three times a week, and she would like, I don't even golf. I was like, Well, you should try.
SPEAKER_04:But knowing that she would say no, correct. That's horrible. You should have just ended it.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, it is ended.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, last question. Dear Dry Diaries, I've been dating someone for a few months, but I'm not sure I am ready for a serious relationship. How do I communicate my uncertainty without hurting their feelings?
SPEAKER_02:So it's tough. I mean, it sucks, but um, I mean, I have an altercation, no, I had an interaction recently about like or they just said the same thing pretty much. Like, I'm not, I don't want to date. I don't want to be like I was like, okay, totally get it. Like, I respect that. Yeah. Like, just be real and just be like, that's not where I'm at. Now, the tough part is like, when do you get to that point? You know, like is there date three? Is it date five? Like, because you don't know if you want that or not.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I feel like if you're just outdating and you're not really dating with intention, I think that you should be clear from the very beginning.
SPEAKER_02:Like first date? Like, like we sit down at Chili's the first night. Chili's. Yes.
SPEAKER_04:I'm not going to Chili on a first date.
SPEAKER_02:And you say, look, hey, this is what I want in a man. This is this is the relationship.
SPEAKER_04:No, I'm saying if you know, like we're going on a first date, and you're just in a hookup stage. Like you're just going on a first date to get to know you because like you maybe want like a casual hookup situation. I would want to know that within like the first or second date, yeah. Then continue to waste my time.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So, like, okay, I mean, it doesn't have to be like some serious conversation, like it can just be like, yeah, like at this point in my life, I'm dating with intention.
SPEAKER_02:Is that is that is that what you'd want a guy to say?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, or I would let them know.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I agree. I'm with you.
SPEAKER_04:Is that a a weird thing to do on the first date?
SPEAKER_02:I don't know. I'm sitting here.
SPEAKER_04:I'm asking you.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:As a guy.
SPEAKER_02:I don't I don't know. You're asking as a guy.
SPEAKER_04:Like if a girl went to dinner with you.
SPEAKER_02:I think a couple, uh, I would say date three. Two. Three.
SPEAKER_04:Three.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:That's like so much time that you've wasted. That's yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Well, okay, two. Like, yeah, I think I think it's also the vibes. I mean, you know, like if it's something pretty quick, like I like this person, yeah. Or I don't know. That's a good question. I have no idea. Probably second date would be something like, hey, I like you.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I'm not saying that you need to like make it like, oh, we're gonna start officially being together exclusively. I'm just saying, like, we are getting to know each other with the intention of possibly maybe dating, or like that's my intention of dating in general, yeah. And it doesn't mean that I'm just going in to dinner with you. I might be going to dinner with other people to get to know them, but that's where I'm at.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_02:No, it makes a lot of sense. I'm I'm learning a lot right now.
SPEAKER_04:So yeah. So, I mean, if you've been dating them for a few months and you're not sure if you're ready for your serious relationship, I don't think that you're gonna hurt their feelings. I think that it's gonna be more of a thing if you keep dating them.
SPEAKER_02:If you prolong it, it'll be worse.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, so just being upfront and honest. All right, guys. Well, anything else you want to add?
SPEAKER_02:No, thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_04:Where can people follow you?
SPEAKER_02:Follow me, like on social media.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, maybe the single ladies, maybe uh athletes.
SPEAKER_02:It's just uh foster saw you're on Instagram. That's pretty much it. The guy with two last names.
SPEAKER_04:All right, guys. Well, thank you for listening to another entry of the Dry Diaries. I'll see you next week. Alex Dry.
