
The Dry Diaries
Welcome to The Dry Diaries. The one and only digital diary, with your author, Alex Dry. Every week, Alex opens the pages to share new entries- diving into the truth, the details, and everything in between. No filters, no edits—just the dry, unfiltered moments you’ve been waiting for. From the highs and lows of dating and relationships to health & wellness, travel, pop culture, and, of course, it wouldn’t be a proper diary entry without a conspiracy theory investigation— The Dry Diaries is your tell all to the secrets no one else dares to share. But it’s not just Alex. She’ll be bringing in friends, experts, and everyday people, each opening up their own diary vaults. These conversations go beyond the surface and offer a rare, inside look at what’s really going on. Welcome to The Dry Diaries- every entry has a secret worth sharing, and trust me, nothing is off-limits.
The Dry Diaries
Styling Chaos, Getting Sued, Hatfish Horror Stories, Dating Icks & Labor Day Plans
The Dry Diaries: Summer Series continues with Alex Dry and Rachel Olson—aka two girls oversharing on a mic and hoping we don’t regret it later. We’re diving into why 30 is basically the new 25, the epidemic and horror stories of hatfish & glassfish, Rachel’s behind-the-scenes styling chaos, our delusional summer bucket list, voice notes that give us the ick, and of course… and the audacity of one guy trying to shoot his shot at both of us. Consider this your unhinged group chat in podcast form.
To My Dearest, Click To Send Your Anonymous Question
Don’t forget to rate, like, comment, and subscribe to The Dry Diaries! Follow us on all socials for exclusive updates and behind-the-scenes content. Have a question or topics you want us to dive into? Submit it at www.thedrydiaries.com— it will be answered on the next entry. XO
I got an email from this girl. She calls me. I'm like hello. And she's like is there any way that you can come pick me up today and assist me? So I drive to Laguna Beach. She comes out in the car. We, instead of go to Rodeo, she takes me out for lunch. She chugs three glasses of wine and at this point I'm not drinking these. I'm on the job and I'm trying to be respected. We go to the showroom she's wasted Go to Rodeo. We have the clothes, kind of at this point and she goes missing. I'm like, hey, I'm in my car, where are you? And she decides to tell me that she needed a moment. And I go what do you mean? You need a moment? Like I need a moment, I want to go home. Like I've been working all day. I picked you up, I'm doing everything. Can you guess where I picked her up from? I picked her up from the Cheesecake Factory. Okay, I was like is this a joke? This has to be a joke. I'm getting pranked. No, I sat outside of the Cheesecake Factory and I picked her up.
Speaker 1:This is the dry diaries with your author, alex drive. Alex Dry, I love she's my Forever Plus was. We're talking about conspiracy theories. We're talking about everything. Tell me to where I'm there. Wait, that was so fun, right, shh?
Speaker 1:Hey guys, welcome back to another entry of the Dry Diaries's your author, alex dry, and my co-host, her favorite person ever, rachel olsen. Hey, she's only seen me every day this week, every hour of the day. But we are back and we are about to talk some shit. Yeah, no, rachel comes to me and she's like wait, alex, can we get in trouble for talking shit? And I'm like no, I can consult with my lawyer. As long as we say allegedly, we're totally fine. We can say whatever the fuck we want. So if you hear the word allegedly today, you know you're going to hear some cool and funny shit, some tea that you're going to want to know. Also, if it's about you, you can't sue us because it's allegedly and it's not allegedly, it's probably facts. Yeah, and if it's facts, what are you going to do about it? You can't do anything about it. So let's get started.
Speaker 1:We've also upgraded. So the past two podcast entries you all have seen we were in our living room and now we're official, we're in the studio. So no more mic scratching and everything you heard on the last entry. This is official. If you heard I had a lisp. I promise there's no lisp and yeah, I guess third time's a charm. Third time we're doing it big. Yeah, it's Friday, though we're excited for the weekend. We can't wait. I think it's our. It's honestly our first weekend in a while back together, like two weeks, yeah, yeah. So I mean, for those who don't know, rachel and I are living together right now. So, yes, we have, we seen each other every single day.
Speaker 1:But honestly, I'm the type of person where I really do get tired of people and I feel like, no, I do, like I've, I'm like I love being with people. Then I also love being like alone. I have no problem with that. But honestly, I've never felt that and I feel like what is it about me? Tell me everything? No, I just feel like you're such a positive person and you're always in a good mood, like you're always laughing, and sometimes I have my moments where I'm stressed and I'm like Rachel, I'm in a bad mood right now. Just let me have my moment Like, baby girl, what do you want? What do you want for breakfast? Yeah, I got you. That's a good friend. So if you don't have a friend like that in your life, then your friends aren't good enough for you, and so, yeah, at the end of the day, I feel like, obviously you have yourself, but you also have your friends and family, and when you're not living in a city where your family is or your friends that you grew up with, it's so amazing to meet someone that shares the same values and connection that you have, because it's so hard to find that. Yeah, whenever they feel like family, that's when you know, that's when you know it's called chosen family, and I've learned that because I definitely have. Now you're stuck with me, baby girl. You signed the waiver at the front before we met, so we're good Vice versa. You had to sign a waiver to go to Florida and I'm about to sign one again. Oh my God, yeah. So I think we talked about it before.
Speaker 1:We're going to Florida for Labor Day, which is going to be a lot of fun. We have a group. We we're going to Florida for Labor Day, which is going to be a lot of fun. We have a group. We are planning all these dinners, but I'm really excited for you guys to see this. We're going to do a confession room for all of our friends. So that's going to be basically a room like this where people walk in and you know exactly what the first message is going to say oh my gosh, throughout the trip it's going to be crazy and people are just going to spill what they're feeling and what they're doing. It's going to be us dancing with bathing suits on and tequila in one hand and we're just going to be having the best time.
Speaker 1:But I think, since we're on the topic of Florida right now, you need to tell them about the themes that you've been planning for dinners. You've been planning for dinners. This girl is literally, I think, her next life. She's going to be a party planner. Because she was showing me today and I was in awe and I'm sending it to, like our friends that are coming and everyone's freaking out and I don't think she knows how amazing she is and how talented she is, and like she's showing me all these things and I'm just like, sign me up. Where do I sign? Sign, I'm there. No, it's so fun. Like I just think it brings a better experience whenever you have, like, certain themes and like you can dress up and there's things to do, because just yes, obviously, like inviting friends and all being together is like one thing, but then if you have things to like look forward to and it's like, okay, tonight we're gonna do this and it's gonna be, you know, like it's just a better vibe and I feel like, honestly, it's gonna make for a great vlog. Um, we're not doing it for the content, just to let you know, shout out to gavin, our boy. Gavin's coming. He's gonna get all the footage, but we're gonna do.
Speaker 1:The first night is gonna be chow bella. So it's gonna be an italian themed dinner. We're doing like reds, oranges, oranges, greens. And then the second night is going to be a fiesta, which is going to be like all Mexican food. Oh, we're getting down at the fiesta. Oh, yeah, it's going to be so fun. And then we're going to have each night like an Aperol bar, a margarita bar, and then the third night is going to be a Mykonos like soiree.
Speaker 1:Since we didn't make it to Europe this summer, alex is putting it in front of us and the people that did make it to Europe this summer. You can't come. Yeah, I hope you're having fun, because I wish I was there. But since I can't be, I'm going to bring it to us. Yeah, you're bringing it to Florida. Baby, let's go. We're going to have our own little moment, mini series of Siesta Key yeah, we are, so it's gonna be fun. And then we're gonna go on a boat to crab island, which is a little ghetto but it's a lot of fun. We're gonna take a party bus there and then add us into the mix. Yeah, there goes the earring of ghetto my earring just falls off my ear.
Speaker 1:And then, monday night, we're doing hibachi. So that's the whole thing. Wait, wait, wait. Flashback to the last time alex and I went to hibachi. Oh, my god, we were dancing with the hibachi man, but and my whole family's there, by the way, so it's me, rachel and a few other friends, with all my family sitting at a table watching us. Me and rachel are. We thought that we were on a stage dancing for 400 people, about to make four thousand dollars. We made no money that night. I don't think we ate dinner. We were just dancing so hard with that hibachi man. He was trying to like drop it low with us or like we have on dresses, but um, that didn't stop us from dropping low, though he was living his best life. He literally was.
Speaker 1:Um, let me try to pull my mom in and my mom's like, yeah, my mom's name's karen, by the way, and she's not a karen, but she's very much I like to compare to the mean girls. Hi guys, what can I get you? Like, do you need anything? And that's so. My mom and like, the best way possible, I love her. Shout out to Karen and Jodi, we love you guys. We love you guys, karen, we miss you. We miss all your conversations and all your talks. So, throwback to when Alex moved here. I guess Is it our one month? Is it? It's the 15th today? Did I get here on the 15th? Yeah, yes, around here. Yeah, okay, well, we're rounding it. It's our one month. So we're celebrating tonight. Yeah, we're celebrating. So if you're in Venice, watch out, the streets are about to be lit. Yeah, no, I feel like we deserve to celebrate.
Speaker 1:I had a crazy week with work. Yeah, this story is so funny. This story is absolutely insane and if you guys aren't familiar with what I do for work, I'm a celebrity stylist. I obviously moved here from Canada. I'm doing my thing, blah, blah, blah, blah. You've heard it already.
Speaker 1:I've just been freelancing, as I think I mentioned before, and I got an email from this girl. She calls me, I'm out leaving Pilates. I'm like hello. And she's like is there any way that you can come pick me up today and assist me? And I'm like, okay, this girl works for one of the best agencies in LA. And I'm like I'm picking you up, okay, sure, I'll do anything. I love my job so much and I'm so passionate about it. But I'm like I will drive to Canada if that's what it takes to get myself involved. So I drive to Laguna, but also she was styling a really cool celebrity. Like you honestly can't say the name, but like, so she named her Allegedly. Let's just say it was a A++ celebrity. Yes, so when I heard the name, I panicked. I'm like dropping everything that I can and I'm like I will be there.
Speaker 1:So I drive to Laguna Beach, which I realized when I pulled up. It was not her house, it was a rental. She was renting the house, which I was like, okay, I pick her up 45 minutes me sitting in her car. I'm like, oh, or sorry, my car. She comes out in the car sitting in the car, and I don't know if she was drunk from the night before or what she was doing. But I was like, okay, rachel, if, or what she was doing. But I was like, okay, rachel, if we're doing this, you love your job. So, anyways, we make it to LA.
Speaker 1:We have to go to a showroom to do all this stuff because we're shooting tomorrow and I don't know if you know the work that comes into it. It's not just you. I don't have these clothes at home. You don't just go shopping Like, you have to dedicate time. You gotta message showrooms. You Go to Rodeo, it's a big thing. We, instead of go to Rodeo, she takes me out for lunch. She chubs three glasses of wine and at this point I'm not drinking these, I'm on the job and I'm trying to be respected. I drive her to a showroom hours later and it's getting like scary because it's the time that's pushing and we're on a punchline at this point. So, basically, what happens is we go to the showroom, she's wasted. Go to Rodeo. I'm like, oh God, she is wasted, she's wasted.
Speaker 1:We go to a couple stores in Rodeo. I'm pulling clothes, I'm putting them in my car. We have the clothes, kind of at this point, and she goes missing. I'm like, hey, I'm in my car, where are you? And she decides to tell me that she needed a moment, and I go what do you mean? You need a moment? Like I need a moment. I want to go home, like I've been working all day. I picked you up, I'm doing everything. Can you guess where I picked her up from? Please, guys? I'm letting you think I picked her up from, please guys. I'm letting you think I picked her up from the Cheesecake Factory. Okay, why are you going to fight with me? At Cheesecake? You know I love to go there. I was like is this a joke? This has to be a joke. I'm getting pranked. No, I sat outside of the Cheesecake Factory and I picked her up. So she gets in my car Really awkward car ride going home and then I dropped the stuff off and that was the last time I ever saw her, wasn't she like bawling, crying? Oh yeah, well, I was gonna. Yeah, so she was bawling her eyes out, crying, and then decided to call her mom and get me to tell her mom that our job is really stressful and that we it's like so hard and we can't do it anymore. So, yeah, it was an episode, but safe to say it's Friday, so we'll make up. Maybe we'll go to the cheesecake factory later, but that just goes to show.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you see people online or you see people's presence of social media and all that when you think you don't have it. You might have it because other people are showing they do and they don't have it. You might have it because other people are showing they do and they don't. Yeah, it's like someone you admired and you work for and then you have that situation happen. You're like whoa, this is not how you were perceived. Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1:Oh, my god, speaking of so funny um, we so we were talking about like guy friends and like our guy friends groups and we were like there's nothing more cringe than a guy friend group and the way that they act around like the richest guy of the friends and how they literally like bow down to them. Yeah, I feel like guys in general, like they all just bow down to each other, like they're all just like praising each other and they want the best for each other. But then it gets to the point where you're just like this is why we're single. Are you on the guy's side or are you on the girl's side? I'm like what is going on here, like this is why dating in LA is horrible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, okay, speaking of like that kind of stuff, what would be your biggest ick lately that you've noticed going out within guy friend groups? Or like going out with guys. Like what has been the biggest ick that you've noticed lately with guys? I think my first off. Like I can't even remember the last time I went on a date. Yeah, I'm like, no, actually I've just been so fine being single and I like bitch about it. But then when it comes down to it like I don't no, actually I've just been so fine being single and I like bitch about it. But then, when it comes down to it, like I don't want to scroll on dating apps, I don't want to have small talk, I don't want to do anything, but my biggest ick recently is a guy that is a hat fish.
Speaker 1:So like if you have on a hat and then you take off your hat and you look completely different, or like you're completely bald, like just keep a hat on, baby, keep a hat on, you're doing great, don't take it off. No, it's like it's fine. But I mean I think some guys can pull it off but there's others who can't, and it's just like, oh, you think this guy's so hot and he takes off your hat. It's just like I thought he maybe had like a buzz cut or something. No, he has a no cut. There's nothing to cut. There's literally nothing there. And I was like, oh Okay, what do you care? I really like that.
Speaker 1:There's hat fishes, what's sunglasses catfish, like what would you call that? I feel like there has to be a glass fish out there. But do you notice that? Yeah, sometimes it very rarely, though, like usually, I mean like some, like I think sometimes I'm a like a half or a sunglass fish, whatever you want to call it, because I'm like oh, I look really good right now with my sunglasses on. I take them off. I'm like whoa, alex, like your eye bags are bagging, but what time is that at? Yeah, catch me after a few drinks, those sunglasses come on, because my eyes are closing. I got you always make sure you got the products in your hand. Oh my gosh, wait, okay.
Speaker 1:So rachel and I decided that this episode is kind of gonna be about us asking each other questions and like basically letting you guys get to know us, and we would love to get to know you. So also, we'll tag below, but if you ever want to submit any anonymous questions, comments, stories. We would love to hear them. I love the stories. We also kind of love like when you have a problem, because alex and I always have an opinion and we tend to give our opinion a little too often and sometimes people just can't handle the heat. You can handle the heat, sit down, we'll chat all night. We love it. But sometimes I feel like also we're a girls' girl, so we got your back. Like, if you need, oh, so we got your back, we got you, we got you, but anyways, okay, so let's like go through a few of these. Okay, we can go back and forth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, if your ex wrote in your diary, what would their first entry be Wrote in my diary? Yeah, wrote in your diary. What would their first entry be wrote in my diary? Yeah, if they were messaging me, no, like, just like a diary, like, no, like they wrote a book situation, you know dry diaries, diary, come on, rachel. Like what would their like little signature thing be to you? They would be like hey, best friend, it's been so great being your best friend, xoxo, okay, what would you write in his? I would write I've been doing a lot better without you. What would you write? I need to hear yours, honestly. No, I take mine back. You put me on the spot. Okay, I would write thank you for letting me leave Canada I'm just kidding, I don't know you go. Thank you for giving me the push to make the moves I've always wanted to literally xoxo. You know you love me. You gotta do the xoxo.
Speaker 1:At the end, um, I would write I mean probably nothing. But if I was forced to write something, the end I would write I mean probably nothing, but if I was forced to write something, I think that I would say so, this is really funny. So my ex actually sells mattresses. So I would probably say go to bed, iconic, or I know, period, go to bed, period, that's it, yeah. Or I just put these.
Speaker 1:Are you still sleeping? Hello, are you there? Good thing, I have narcolepsy, so I don't remember mo, she's sleeping all the time, so you'd actually be the one sleeping then. Uh, and what would he say back to you? I have no idea. I mean, hope you're sleeping well. Yeah, literally, probably. I hope you still have narcolepsy, I don't know. No, you probably say like hope you're doing well, or something so basic and boring. Yeah, there's definitely gonna be. No. Yeah, I mean it was kind of witty, so he'd probably come up with something. But as far as communication goes, no communication, ever. No.
Speaker 1:After I break up with someone, I am all about the If we're done, we're done and I end it, unless it was like a fling or it ended on like really really good terms, like I'm a person where I'm just like there's really no point of us speaking Like yes, yes, maybe we can become friends down the line, but like for the first, yeah, there's, however long. If you want to end it, just end it. And yeah, do you. Yeah, go find something else that's gonna make you happier than what was going on. Yeah, and it's like no ill will or I don't have animosity, but like it's just I mean for the sake of future relationships or just like myself in general, to make sure like we both get that space. I feel like it's the healthiest. No, and you also gotta put yourself first. Yeah, depending on the relationship, obviously, but I feel like at the end of the day, like go do you and go find what makes you happy. Yeah, and it goes both ways. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:What's your most insane ick you've gotten lately, my most insane ick lately. Also remember how we talked about pizza hut boy on the first entry. Well, we thought we saw him driving today and rachel was like wait, is that him on the bike? I think that's him. Can you please open your door? Like, please open your door and let him hit it. Shout out to pizza hut sponsor this ad baby. Shout out to pizza hut sponsor this ad baby. But to clarify, it wasn't him. Pizza hut is a totally different story and we will not go there. We'll just continue to eat pizza.
Speaker 1:Well, I have to tell the story one day, but it's not for now. Yeah, it's not for now. But okay, biggest, my biggest ick lately. I honestly kind of said it in the other podcast where the sixes that wear the outfits looking like 12s. But if we can summarize that and I could think about my biggest ick I think it would just be why am I picturing? You know what I'm? No, no, no, I'm picturing a shirtless man. You're running, running up to our window and boxing in the reflection of our window. Oh my gosh, I literally can't. That was hilarious. That's like actually a real story. I'm not even making that up, but oh my god, wait, yeah, I'll tell you guys a brief story.
Speaker 1:There's this guy, he's an actor, okay, and he went into full psychotic mode. I don't know what happened. He processed phone up on the counter right, wait, pause. I know what my biggest ick is, and then you can continue. My biggest ick and this one goes out to you. I know you're going to be watching this Asic running shoes. Okay, keep going. We sidetracked.
Speaker 1:There's a guy that came into our house the other night and me and rachel both looking guy though yeah, no, he's cute. But we're like are you wearing asics right now? He's like, yeah, I just got done working out. We're like you're wearing asics. Oh, that is the equivalent to Skechers. No, asics are more elevated than Skechers, skechers. In my head, skechers and Crocs are the same family. Oh, absolutely not.
Speaker 1:If you're wearing Crocs, you just, especially if you're wearing Crocs with charms has, like your dog on it, your initial on it. You're like, okay, this is my whole life story. I don't have to show my emotions. Just look at my shoe. No, it's giving toddler. Crocs are giving toddler. It's also giving. We can't say it.
Speaker 1:But also, you know what shoe lately I'm just like so turned off by, is converse. If you're wearing converse. It's giving so many better brands out there now, like even you know what other shoes kind of throw me the wrong way. It's getting like skater hood rat to me though, yeah, and then like they're never fresh, they're always beat up, they look like they've walked through a rainforest and back, and then you're just like, but you know what other shoes kind of like irk me the wrong way? The Golden Goose shoes. I was literally thinking that, yes, it's like we get it. You're trying to like. It's like you're going to spend that much money on shoes. Buy something sexy, yeah, no, I hate golden, yeah, okay, yeah, another thing we literally. I was just thinking that I was like dirty shoes, literally. But anyways, back to the story. Sorry, we like, as you can tell, distracted. Okay, back to the story.
Speaker 1:So this guy, he's an actor, right, he like is part of. He's been in a couple movies, I think you would, you would, allegedly, and nia is with a heart a, so he props up his phone and he's out with us one night and he's like pumping himself up. Right, he is literally michael jackson. He's like acting like he's Rocky Balboa. And this is all in the reflection of a window. This is not like in a mirror. This is not as entertainment. He's good looking, which, like, made it so much worse. He's giving like 5.5 if that. But it's crazy. And we were like, whoa, are you trying out for a new movie soon? Like, what is this flip? And then he would get really mad and angry and start like huffing and puffing into the window.
Speaker 1:Maybe he was rehearsing a new show that he's doing. Well, that show has about 10 characters. If that's the case, because, like it was insane, I wish I could act it out for you guys, because I was. You just show them what like. Don't stand up, just like he was like and he's like, he's like. But picture like a like, picture topless, like. Just picture the whole thing. Crazy.
Speaker 1:I was so scared, I was seriously scared that kingston was even experiencing somebody like this in my house. He's like who is this? I've never seen this before, mom, I thought you were normal. Well, kingston's heard. I'm like. My second therapist is Kingston at this point. He's heard it all. He's heard it all. So, yeah, speaking of I was thinking about this earlier, such a random topic.
Speaker 1:When you were in elementary school, did you ever to Speaking of? I was thinking about this earlier, such a random topic. When you were in elementary school, did you ever to get out of class? Just go to the nurse like all the time? I would just literally leave In elementary school. In elementary school, no, I would just pretend I had to go to the bathroom and I would literally sit in the bathroom and people would come in and be like Rachel and I'd be like sorry and sit in the bathroom and people would come in and be like Rachel and I'd be like sorry and I would oh, sorry, sorry, and I would leave.
Speaker 1:We didn't have a nurse. What I feel like that's illegal. I feel like it was probably some like bootleg nurse, but it wasn't like a known thing where people would go to the nurse. Oh no, our bathrooms were disgusting, they smell like catfish, and so I would always go to the nurse, probably at least once a day, and I would take a break and that like over assimilated. By the end of the day I'd be like my stomach hurts, like my head hurts because I get bored sitting in class, but also me being like my hypochondriac self, I'd like convince myself that something's wrong and I need to go home. So they would let me call my mom and I never even like realized like my mom has shit to do during the day, because I'd be like, can you come get me? Like it's literally 12 pm and she'd be like no, alex, like you have two more hours of school and I wouldn't think the world was ending. But yeah, shout out to. I forgot my nurse's name so long ago.
Speaker 1:But that's funny that you said elementary school. So I went to a Catholic school across the street from my house for elementary school and then I don't know if you guys do it here, but seven and eight you go to another school. Yeah, and then high school is its own thing. So across the street from my house, I don't know why, it was one to four and then across the street was four to eight. But I ended up going to another school because all my friends were there but I lived across the street and I don't know how this was allowed Because my parents definitely didn't give them the okay.
Speaker 1:But like back in the day, like they, let me walk across the street to get my hamster I had a teddy bear hamster and show it for show and tell oh my god, across the street with me, came into my house and let me grab the hamster and I'm thinking about that now and I'm like that is so illegal, like a teacher bringing a kid into their house, oh, and then like taking this, this animal, and I like have my hamster in the school. It was so crazy, that's so funny. But I guess everyone got to see my hamster cutie Shout out to cutie. Yeah, I named my hamster cutie Do not ask why the fact that we even had a hamster.
Speaker 1:It was a teddy bear hamster, yeah, I know. So we had like a trampoline. I took my hamster out once and I bounced it on the trampoline. Did it die? No, it didn't die. Oh, I was like he needs to have fun with me. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, my guy cousins did the same thing. There's four of them. They're all older than me.
Speaker 1:I just remember sitting down on the couch one day and a freaking long ass ferret comes. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, permanently scarred. No one, I'm going to literally throw up ferrets, pet like no, the hamster was enough, would never allow my kid to have a hamster. Just strictly dogs. I feel like at this, yeah, I know, just like done the cat life. We're not. No, absolutely not. Yeah, it's just a dog family at this point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, tell me, the last time you should have gone home but didn't. What happened the last time that I should have went home and didn't, I think, is every night I literally sit there and I'm having the time. I I'm like having drinks Next thing, you know, it's way too late and I'm like, how did I end up here? But you know what's funny, I feel like if you're having an amazing time with your friends, no night is not Like, just do it, because eventually you're going to have a family and you're not going to be able to do it.
Speaker 1:I was going to say when I should have went home was when I was with my best friends in Toronto. Then I'm thinking about it now. I'm like what if we would have went home earlier, I wouldn't have been able to spend that time with them. Yeah, I wouldn't have been able to jam to Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock and dance to all the oldies and have the time that I had. Because, at the end of the day, eventually, one day, I'm gonna look back and be like, wow, I wish I could stay out that late again. Yeah, end of the day, eventually one day I'm gonna look back and be like, wow, I wish I could stay out that late again. Yeah, but I feel like when we're with our hell, you make the bad decisions and then you're like, damn, I wish it would. Yeah, I need to step my summer game up. We're just getting started.
Speaker 1:Alex moved back, but yeah, I don't know. I feel like I am probably the worst person to ask that question. What about you? When should you have gone home last? I don't know. I feel like I've been doing pretty good lately, so I don't have any crazy stories to tell. Um, till tonight. We'll report back next time. I've been doing pretty good because I know after a certain point, or like after a certain amount of drinks, like my brain just shuts off, yeah, and then that's when, like things can happen and I'm like I don't need to get to that point because it's like an alter ego. Yeah, it's not a good alexandra. That comes out like, no, it's not okay. So no, that's so fair.
Speaker 1:What's the dumbest lie a man ever told you that you believed mine was that he wasn't married and didn't have kids, or he didn't have a girlfriend. That's probably one of the worst lies ever. One time this guy said that he had this dog. He was talking his dog up, I was like, oh my god, like when did you get the dog? He pretty much made the whole story up because when I saw the dog, it was a lap dog and it was this like little poodle and I was like there's no way that this grown man went to the dog store and got a poodle. But anyways, it ended up being his ex-girlfriend's dog and I'm like, why didn't you just say that was her your ex-girlfriend's dog? Why do I care? If you have a dog with her, why do you keep it? I think that's like another thing. I would never.
Speaker 1:It's hard to get a pet with someone that you're dating, because if you guys break up, where's the pet going? I think it's like a rock paper scissors thing. Oh, no, see, that wouldn't fly. I don't know. Well, I don't know. I know some people that do like during custody are they going to court, like what, like, how is that decided? That's like insane. I guess it's just they love the dog, they both, they both love the dog. No, that wouldn't fly. Yeah, if someone tried to do that with Kingston, I'd freak out. Yeah, I don't know. I guess it just depends on how much, how involved you were with the yeah, so it's not really a question, but it's more of like a.
Speaker 1:Since summer is kind of coming to an end and I mean in LA, summer goes until November, december but because it's kind of like the main part of summer is ending, what is something that you want to do this summer that you haven ending? What is something that you want to do this summer that you haven't done yet? What is something you want to do? Do you want me to go first? Yeah, okay, yeah, she knows her answer, so she's asking me so she can answer it. Okay, so what I want to do is I want to rent a boat and I want to go to Catalina. Oh, yeah, I've never been to Catalina. I keep seeing amazing, beautiful photos and I'm like you know what Looks like Europe. We need to go. I feel like it would be such a fun day adventure to do that, and we can go to the beach club and stuff. Yeah, yeah, I've done it. It's fun.
Speaker 1:I feel like, starting now, we need marks on the bucket list. We have to report and tell everyone what we've done on the bucket list. So one of our bucket lists is also going to be find a new place because we tentatively I can't really say this I mean, it's fine, like my parents, family don't even listen to my own podcast, so whatever, but I'm going to move back to LA for a bit of time, but I'm going to move back to LA for a bit of time. So today, rachel and I went to go look at this thick house and we walk in and our real estate agent was really cute, he was hot, he was hot and I'm like you could sell me any house, babe. Yeah, we're like. So can we do a follow-up and can you make a list of options to show us? That's definitely on the bucket list.
Speaker 1:I think another one is to honestly like be more open about like meeting new people Because, like I said before, I've kind of been like filtering who I hang out with. So I think just being more open and maybe we should be doing some dating. We should do like double dates or something, because if you're listening and you want to go on a double date with us, comment below. We should be doing some dating. We should do like double dates or something, because if you're listening and you want to go on a double date with us, comment below. Yeah, I know, before, my podcast was all about conspiracies, like other people's stories. Now it's our crazy chaotic stories and I'm like wait, are guys going to be like red flags? No, it's a red flag. I was thinking that too. Will you red flag? No, it's not red flags. If they can't keep up, they're not the ones.
Speaker 1:Yeah, also, like we're not going to expose like people that we truly care about, except if you look like a chihuahua. Yeah, also, is it normal, like with you and your friends whenever you're out? I feel like constantly, we just did this that every person you see you make a name for. Like you're comparing them? Um, we haven't been making names, but alex and I have been. We just roast people. No, not even roast. We have literally been looking at people and comparing them to cartoon characters and the other night we had a list and they were so accurate, so accurate. Like, not even in, like in a bullying way. Everyone was not, no, not. And like maybe one day we'll show you some of the comparisons, but they were so good, yeah, so good.
Speaker 1:Or we're like guessing their life story, like, okay, he's dating like this girl. Like, tell them about the guy we saw today at Great White oh, so there's a guy that served us. He was pretty cute, but we were like, okay, he's definitely dating like a blonde. Sarah, that is all natural, doesn't wear makeup, surfer chick, yeah, she's just there for, not like, she's there for a good time, but she's not drinking to have a good time. So we're just like guessing everyone's life stories. And then we have this bodybuilder guy. Oh my gosh, this guy's jacked, he's definitely on steroids. And we're like, oh, he's dating a girl. That's like, uh, what is it like an alphabet or whatever that brand's called? Like in the mirror, like closing, like do you like closing? Like the girls make full jacks. She was definitely pushing him up instead of pushing her up, they're having protein shakes for dessert instead of going out and drinking, which maybe we should try that. Oh God, I don't know.
Speaker 1:So, speaking of Europe, last year I went to yacht week with a bunch of friends and we all got a boat and, not kidding you, I almost died, and I'm not even overreacting right now. Our captain was a pos and basically told us we could swim. He docked and he said that we could swim. Right, so everyone dives and everyone's fine. I'm so freaking hungover and I was like, oh, all I want to do is just take a dip in the like the ocean, like cool off, that's the best thing when you're hungover. Ok, so all the boats are girls and then there's four guys and they are. We're all from Australia. It was one of our friends, friends and they were all like in the marine type of situation there, and so they had experienced swimming and all this stuff.
Speaker 1:So I dive in. I look back, less than like five minutes later I am literally over half a mile from the boat not kidding you and I was trying to swim back. I physically couldn't and at one point I just laid on my back and I was like I didn't notice that you weren't on the boat. No, like, no. They saw me dive in, but I was like they thought they were like all right, mermaid, enjoy it, enjoy your time in the water. Yeah, at first they were like oh, alex is swimming, whatever. And then I'm like guys, I need help. And everyone's laughing. They think I'm kidding because you know like whatever. And I'm like no, I'm At this point it's been like 2520 minutes of me treading water and I'm like I need help. Can you please? Like no.
Speaker 1:So then the they're trying to tell the captain to like turn on the boat and turn around. And so two of the guys jump out. One of the guys is like the current's too strong, I actually have to turn around. And the other guy swims out to me. The raft and me and him are there and he's like I can't get us both back. Keep in mind, like they fully like went through training, like that's what they do. They're on literal things in australia, like swimming, and the current was that bad. Current was that bad. So at least I mean, like obviously this is like not the best, but best case scenario. At least you were with him. Oh, my god, if he wouldn't have come out I would have fully yeah, like, at least you had someone there to like grab you and tell you like it's gonna be okay.
Speaker 1:And I like have such bad anxiety, I was like okay, god, like, if this is my time to go, like at least I'm floating in the ocean, like I was trying to think best case scenario. Clearly the alcohol was still in me and like whatever, because I would have gone into full panic mode if not. But eventually the guy turns around on the way in like, as I'm treading water, I get stung by a huge jellyfish on my arm. I like still have like a scar and my arm starts swelling. Then I get stung on my butt and I they stung you twice, stung me twice and the jellyfish in Croatia are insane. So I'm in like so much pain and we finally get back on the boat and I come out my whole body. I'm not kidding you, I looked like I gained 40 pounds that whole trip Ask Alana, it was insane.
Speaker 1:So the guy had the, the captain had the audacity to tell me well, whenever I asked you guys beginning, you told me that you could swim. And I was like, are you kidding me right now? Like I was literally in a rip current and one of our friends went off on him. She was like we can sue you, blah, blah, blah. And at that point I was just like honestly, I just need to take the L and like let's move on, there's nothing to do at that point. Need to take the L and like let's just move on, there's nothing to do at that point. But yeah, like the trauma already happened for the Australians and that's why I love Australians, that and a lot of other things. But yeah, so that is like not a funny story but like a crazy story.
Speaker 1:But I definitely beware the jellyfishes, but don't forget about Nemo. Yeah, but if you're thinking about doing yacht week, it's really fun just make sure that you get a bigger boat and like be very particular about, like who you bring, because you really are stuck on. They say it's a yacht, it's really a catamaran, definitely not a yacht, and you're stuck on there for a week. Um, but it's so much fun and like you go so many different places and like that's where I met alana and so, yeah, it was fun. But if you were on Yacht Week with me, I'm really not that big. You saw me in photos. That's not me. No, literally where I got stung has a full indention, like it had an indention in my butt where it like ate away the fat, yeah, because it was that bad Jesus. An indention in my butt where it like ate away the fat, yeah, because it was that bad Jesus. Yeah, it looks like a while that I got a BBL gone wrong which I didn't get a BBL it just like ate away my fat and then they told me like it would grow back over time, which it has. So that's my little summer story.
Speaker 1:That's insane, but that's wild. That kind of reminds me of I was in Tulum last year for my best friend's batch and the three girls like three of my best friends were like oh, we want to go swimming. We jump off the boat, we start swimming. We don't realize, because we're having so much fun, we're on this like surfboard thing. We are like so far away from the boat and the water and the current is just pushing us farther and farther and eventually we like look up and we realize that the boat is so far away. This man, this lifeguard, this king, this angel, paddles his way through. It was like noah's ark. He like put the water open, grabs us girls and paddles three of us back onto the boat. Oh my god, it was the craziest thing. This guy was like four feet tall and he did god's work. Oh my god, it's giving baywatch. Except we were like like literal dead fishes laying on the surfboard, pulling, getting pulled back. But that's probably one of the most embarrassing things.
Speaker 1:I was on my way back, I forgot where from and I was just dying like full mouth open, fully asleep, and I wake up and Dylan Efron is sitting next to me on the plane and I was like cool. Yeah, hey, what's up? Yeah, I was like cute when I sleep. No, I was for sure drooling. I was like fuck. I was like, well, maybe zach's single, but I mean, we'll take either. Brothers, wait, does dylan have a wife? No, I think he has a girlfriend. Oh, okay, yeah, not that that means he's on the market, but like, at this point we're just yeah, guys, rachel and I took a photo together.
Speaker 1:Someone slides in her dms and says that I look like what austin butler. So now all my friends think, think that it's so funny. So they keep sending me posters of austin butler posing for clone ads and all this stuff. And they're like, yeah, you look like the girl version of austin. But. And I was like that is a freaking joke. That was on it. Okay, it's not a diss though, because Austin Butler is like five daddies. Yeah, but like I sound like Austin Butler. It was so funny. Maybe after a couple of drinks later you'll start doing the Elvis impression. But when he messaged me that, I was laughing and then I was like you know what? Like I don't see it, but like I understand the vision, but also iconic, but also like what?
Speaker 1:There was just so many questions after hearing that, yeah, no, one of the craziest dms I've gotten is a guy asking. He was like I'd love to take you out, but only if you'll bark for me. I was like you're kidding, like is this a fetish? I'm definitely. Did you bark for him? I never. You should have got kingston to bark for him on the voice notes and just played around.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, if a guy's sending you like a seven minute voice note before you even meet them, oh that, that is an ick. That is an ick, an ick, an ick when they want to Chit and chat. No, before you even meet them, I'm like I haven't even seen your shoes yet. How am I supposed to listen To your seven minute paragraph or your seven minute voice memo About your day? Like, say something for us To. Like, say something for us to talk about. You shouldn't voicemail me or facetime me until, like, we've been like three dates in if we're not friends. Yeah, I agree, I think the facetime is like facetime's, like vip status. I'm not facetiming everyone and anyone I know, like I remember like a couple guys or like I just remember sometimes guys recently but before would call before the date. But I'm like, babe, I'm pretending to get ready and I'm not answering you whether I'm getting ready or not, like you can meet me and we can do the thing.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, what about the guy that, literally, full on, was asking me out and like saying all that stuff, and then he literally pulls and says the same thing to Rachel the Grindle guy, chandler, rachel and I definitely another x. This episode is just all about x, I guess, but I mean, I'm sure the girls can relate. So this guy literally had been guys, yeah, yeah, guys, wait, no, because it's clearly working. Um, but this guy had been hitting me up for years, asking me on dates, right, and then we just like didn't go out, it wasn't a thing. And then, like recently, as of like six months ago, was blowing up my phone. So then randomly we're in a group message me, rachel and alana, and she's like do you guys know this guy? Like you're mutual with him, and he is like calling me, sending me voice notes or he was doing the most. So after I sent it into the group message, I was like okay, I'm so confused because I'm like is he like? First of all, I was like hey, how are you? I followed you, I followed you on instagram no follow back, ha ha ha. Then I like see the message and I'm like, absolutely not. Then the paragraph start, the voice notes start. And then he was calling me on Instagram non-stop and I was like, okay, yeah, we haven't met. You need to chill to the point where I blocked him because I just don't have the patience. Yeah, and also it's very concerning that a guy has that much time on his hands and he's spitting the same game at people, like the same thing on multiple people, and like do not check if these girls have mutuals or do just not care. No, I don't think. I think it's just like shoot your shot. No, I just think, maybe, like a chromosome's missing, like honestly, like honestly, like it's so crazy guys, like the amount of like calls, texts this person sends is like actually concerning. So we blocked him. Yeah, so he's blocked. Um, so shout out to the girls out there that are married and have a good boyfriend. We love that for you and I we're cheering you on the sidelines. Yeah, it's, it's dry over here, but honestly, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Like 30s, new 25 and for whoever's 30 and single, like we're in this together. I believe that there needs to be love island for like people in their early 30s, oh, like a, yeah, a 22 year old love island for, yeah, and not people that are on like like they're basically doing like an experiment on them, like a mental experiment. And these people who are like stable and have their shit going like actually like want real relationships. Not saying that theirs aren't real, but you know what I'm actually looking that, yeah, like out there looking and they're not there for the publicity. And like the instagram followers, yeah, but I feel like, honestly, in this time, and this eight like this, like 2025 is all about that. So it's gonna be hard to like cancel the people that are actually looking and the people that aren't looking for that, yeah, and it's like such a weird age. Like you either have like 22 to 25-year-olds hitting on you, or we have like 42 to like 48. Yeah, and they like might have been married. Yeah, honestly like. Yeah, yeah, honestly like. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's interesting, but you know what? We're only getting younger. So it's also friday. You know what that means. Rachel's like I'm ready to go drink. I'm ready for a dream.
Speaker 1:The guy sleeps with socks on. Is that an ick? Yes, sleeps with socks on. Yeah, I would prefer that because I hate feet so much. I don't want to feel your toes on my skin. Okay, I, I'm disagreeing there. Yeah, if a man slept with, okay, it's like, are you hooking up with a guy when he's wearing his socks? Honestly wouldn't matter. I can't.
Speaker 1:No socks, even though I hate feet. I hate, even though I don't want to see your big toe and like whatever's happening down there. I do not know. No socks in the bed. I don't care what it is, because I sleep with my feet out of the bed and I need that. Like air hitting my feet Not that it has anything to do with me, but I feel like socks in bed is serial killer energy, really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, maybe.
Speaker 1:So I don't know. I mean, I could be what. What do I know about someone sleeping with socks in the bed? Yeah, mine's. Whenever people don't like crank down the air conditioning, that's if it's not 67 and I'm like a burrito in your bed or in my own bed, I have to leave. Yeah, absolutely not. No, I'll get up and leave.
Speaker 1:Literally the worst, yeah, or like, what about when someone's like breathing really heavy when you're sleeping on you, like we were talking about the next morning, when you're laying there, you're just like hearing them panting in your ear and you're like I need to leave. This is not what I need to be hearing right now, as I have like anxiety from drinking like 20 espresso martinis. I'm like this is the last thing I want to be hearing right now, as I have like anxiety from drinking like 20 espresso martinis. I'm like this is the last thing I want to be hearing in my ear. Oh, my gosh, that's so funny. All right, guys. Well, that finishes another entry of the dry diaries. We are about to go to Myanmar and get some drinks and we just wanted to do like a little short episode so you guys could get to know us. You got to know a lot about our ex, but don't forget to submit all your questions concerns stories. We want to hear it all. I'll put the link below and we will see you next week. Bye, babe, bye, bye, sexy.