The Dry Diaries
Welcome to The Dry Diaries. The one and only digital diary, with your author, Alex Dry. Every week, Alex opens the pages to share new entries- diving into the truth, the details, and everything in between. No filters, no edits—just the dry, unfiltered moments you’ve been waiting for. From the highs and lows of dating and relationships to health & wellness, travel, pop culture, and, of course, it wouldn’t be a proper diary entry without a conspiracy theory investigation— The Dry Diaries is your tell all to the secrets no one else dares to share. But it’s not just Alex. She’ll be bringing in friends, experts, and everyday people, each opening up their own diary vaults. These conversations go beyond the surface and offer a rare, inside look at what’s really going on. Welcome to The Dry Diaries- every entry has a secret worth sharing, and trust me, nothing is off-limits.
The Dry Diaries
Main Character Energy 101: Saying No, Setting Boundaries, and Manifesting Your Dream Life with Alyssa Herrmann
This week on The Dry Diaries, I sat down with life coach and mindfulness mentor Alyssa Herrmann, and honestly… this one hit deep. We talked about saying no without guilt, how to manifest through journaling, and why creating healthy habits doesn’t have to feel like a chore. Alyssa walked me through her morning presence practice, her journey building a business from the ground up, and the importance of checking in with your body every day. It’s the kind of episode that reminds you to protect your peace, stay grounded, and romanticize your healing era — one journal entry at a time.
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This is a dry diary with your author Alex Dry. Hey guys, welcome to another entry of the Dry Diaries. It's your author, Alex Dry. Today I'm joined by Alyssa Herman. Hello. She is a certified life coach. She is an entrepreneur who helps women rediscover their confidence, set boundaries, and protect their peace. Also helps women create businesses that align with their purpose. I really want to get into what's the difference between a life coach and a somatic life coach. So I'm excited. Welcome.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you so much for having me. This conversation is the heartbeat of everything I do. So I appreciate you having me. I guess you can start. How'd you get into this? Where'd you grow up? Yeah. So I grew up in Arizona. I got into this work was they say every chapter has a beginning and an end. And long story short, a relationship of four years ended, and it was the beginning of the relationship with myself. That sent me on this journey of becoming me, becoming Alyssa, and understanding who I am, how I operate in the world, why I operate in the world. And it just sent me on this profound healing journey or self-discovery journey. For me, it felt more a journey of becoming who I am. One thing led to another. I was a private chef for many years. No way. I cooked for celebrities. It was quite the life. However, I was burnt out. You know, I did this for 12 years. And I was very much like the hustle girl boss, chasing success, constantly booked and busy, can't be bothered by a social life because I was so wrapped up in work. And it was also a way that I was numbing from my breakup. I immersed myself in my work. I finally hit a point where I realized I wasn't even processing my feelings. I didn't even know how to feel my feelings. I didn't feel safe with my feelings. One day something tapped me on the shoulder and told me to meditate. And I'm like, ugh, I don't really believe in this. I believe in God, a higher power, but meditation just won't work for me because I can't turn my brain off. You know, I was like, I'm gonna give it 30 days. And I just I did for 30 days. Wow. I meditated for 10 minutes, and that 30 days turned into 40 days, 60 days, 160 days, 360 days. At that point, I was meditating for an hour. In one of my meditations, maybe three months into that journey, I felt this overwhelming love for myself. And I felt this voice call me to myself. Was like, let me show you who you are. That started my healing journey. I started reading all the self-help books. I was like, okay, what's next for me in life? I didn't know what was next for me. I knew that what I was doing as a private chef, it was requiring all of me. I was working six days a week. I was a freelance chef. So I was just working nonstop. And I realized that I have to make a change. This isn't sustainable for me. I'm burnt out, I'm tired, but I thrived in that overachieving space. And then I started to realize that overachieving was my way of protecting myself from feeling. And yeah, so I'm like, okay, God universe, what is next for me? I got certified as a health coach because I was like, oh, I know food like the back of my hand. That just felt like the natural progression. Once I started coaching people around food, I realized it was so much deeper. And so now I'm like, I'm not here to change bodies, I'm here to change lives. I need to be the embodiment of that first. So I hired a life coach and I got certified as a life coach, and then my certifications have just progressed over time as I've become more resourced and understand what this is all about.
SPEAKER_00:And now I'm here. I think that's so true and speaks to so many people because even myself, I've been there. Whenever you're in a long-term relationship and you get out of it, dealing with the almost codependency of having that person there as your safe space, your person, not being alone. And whenever that relationship ends, it's like, okay, you know, who am I actually as Alex or as Alyssa? And then sitting in those feelings, and I'm guilty of it post-breakup is making myself as busy as possible to not feel and going back even with life. Maybe you have generational trauma, and so the only way to cope is work or staying busy. So, like the fact that brought you to your purpose. What would you tell girls out there right now that are just post-breakup that are struggling with wanting to always be on the go or not being able to feel their feelings or filling that void with other men or relationships?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, there's so much I could say here, but the first thing is to have the courage to sit with yourself. What does it feel like to be alone? What does it mean for me to be alone? Because when we can sit in the discomfort, that's the brave choice. That and ask the question: who am I? I have my clients write out a list of I'm afraid of this, lay out all of their patterns, all of their fears, all of the stories they're telling themselves, and sit with it and notice what comes up for you. Because it could be you're jumping into a relationship or work because you're trying to avoid being with yourself. Ask yourself, what am I avoiding here? The answer is not in some other man. It's not in work, it's not in the next accolade, it's in who you're becoming for yourself, not for anybody else. I love that.
SPEAKER_00:And now you're in a happy, healthy relationship. Married. Yeah, married. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I've been married for four years. We've been together for gosh, nine? Nine years. Yeah, almost nine years. This coming March will be nine years. That's a crazy. I know. Relationships are the most powerful work you can do in life.
SPEAKER_00:No, it's so true. Relationships take so much work. I think one also misconception, you being a life coach, you have the best advice. A lot of women, or even myself, they feel like they need to be at their peak or have it all figured out to attract that perfect partner. So, what is the misconception around that?
SPEAKER_01:My relationship isn't perfect, and I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like I'm perfect and he's perfect, and we have everything figured out. You don't need to wait to be a healed version of yourself. The healing journey is a journey. There is no destination. The destination is the lived experience because in the lived experience is the embodied wisdom that you get to bring into your life. And my relationship has been the greatest, most spectacular mirror for me. My husband and I have been working on our feminine, masculine polarity and really understanding what that means and what roles we played. When we first got into our relationship, I had just started doing this work on myself. I wasn't embodied in the wisdom that I have. And so I've evolved and he's evolved too. We got into our relationship like everybody else does. You think this person is attractive, and then you can love with them. You go on dates, and then before you know it, you're in a year-long relationship, and then all of a sudden you talk about engagement, you get engaged, you get married, and then you're like, Oh, yeah. I didn't realize that saying yes, vowing myself to this person was actually a mirror for my expansion and growth. Our feminine and masculine polarity work has been teaching me how to soften, how to trust, how to release control, how to lead my life and my work from a place of devotion, not force. For him, it's learning to step into his masculine, step into his leadership. I wasn't modeled what it means to be in my feminine and to trust the man to lead. He wasn't modeled what it means to lead as a man. We're learning so much about ourselves through each other. And it's like the deeper that I'm meeting him, the deeper I'm meeting myself, the deeper I'm meeting my clients, because I believe we can only meet people as deeply as we've met ourselves. It's really powerful work. I'm realizing that this relationship, like marriage, isn't just about building memories. It's not just about having a family. It's not just about making memories and doing all these things that you all the fairy tale things. All the fairy, all the highlight world. Like it's not about that. It's not about the wedding and the flowers and all the things. It's about a holy mirror. It's about signing up to say, I'm gonna let this person be my mirror for how I can be better. Not for him necessarily, but for myself.
SPEAKER_00:I love that. Because everyone wants to get married, they have the dream wedding, they have all these end goals, but then they don't realize, okay, after that amazing wedding and everything ends, it's you and that person forever.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so that person is somebody who's gonna walk through, like you said, evolution, changes, so many life changes. And then when you bring kids in the picture, their changes. And so I love how you said y'all are doing the masculine and feminine because this is something I personally struggle with. It's just our generation. Yeah, I think our generation, it's like, okay, female boss, girl boss, do your thing. You don't need men. Which, yes, I do love to be empowered, and women having their own businesses and goals, dreams, and everything, but at the same time, I think men have kind of lost their way of taking on that masculine lead role.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because we grew up in the society where women, I think we overcompensated, like the feminist movement has overcompensated, and so then women have really stepped into these roles of like, yeah, girl boss feeling proud to create, and yes, we absolutely should, but the pendulum swung way too far, and women don't need a partner, they can take care of themselves. And I think what we're seeing is women burnt out, and even with my husband, I've said, listen, I am creating an empire, I'm a fucking powerful woman, and I'm building an empire. If I'm running my life from fear of needing to be a girl boss, I'm going to get burnt out. And this work that I do is from the service of my heart. And so I think that because of how we grew up in our generation, like women, we have to work like men, we have to cold plunge like men, we have to intermittent fast like men. It's like, no, we have a 30-day hormone cycle, whereas men have a 24-hour hormone cycle. Why are we trying to be like a man? No, let's be like a woman and do it differently, not more powerfully, because we each are equally powerful in the way that we are individually. Why am I doing the things that I'm doing? Because most of the time, the empires that we are building as women, it actually does come from the desire of our heart. And that's the way that you stay in alignment with your higher self is to be in service of your heart. And that will spark creativity, inspiration, change. Like that way, it's not coming from this place of fear and force and like our ego saying, I need to achieve the next goal, or whatever story we're telling ourselves to protect ourselves.
SPEAKER_00:Were you actively dating whenever you met your husband, or were you kind of going through, like you said, the life coach certification and then he just came along, or were you actively seeking?
SPEAKER_01:I didn't start my life coaching work until a year after we had been together. So, yes, I was meditating, but I was not embodied. I was still trying to figure out life. I was dating and it was awful. Bless all of you that are in the dating space because I feel for you. Oh, I feel for you. It was rough out there. I think I was on a couple different dating apps, and I just found I hated it. I went on maybe three dates from the apps, and I instantly was like, I hate this. And then I saw my ex-boyfriend on it, and I'm like, yep, done. Yep.
SPEAKER_00:Bye. Now we're deleting it. I literally deleted the profile. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think at the time it was Bumble and what was that one? Hinge? No, it was before Hinge. Oh, Tinder? Yes. Tinder. It was like Tinder, Bumble. I'm like, bye. I got I can't. Not for me. I can't get the men on there. Like there were some hotties, not gonna lie, but I don't know. Not it. So as soon as I got off the dating apps, I met my husband actually through a mutual friend.
SPEAKER_00:I feel like that's the best way to meet people is through mutual friends because it's a trusted source. They have a little bit of a background on them, they know what they're like. But you're not just going into it blindly. I saw his Instagram and I was like, I like that guy.
SPEAKER_01:I set me up with this guy. I love that. And the rest was history.
SPEAKER_00:That's so amazing, too, that he's been through all of the evolution of your business, stepping into your purpose, everything.
SPEAKER_01:He's pretty awesome, super supportive, very encouraging.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I love that. So, what would your advice be for people wanting to step into their soft girl era feminine energy?
SPEAKER_01:First, understanding why you are in your masculine. Why, what, how is that protecting you? Because you can't be soft while in a hard shell. And so understanding like what are the ways that I'm in my masculine, in my relationship. Am I the one that's leading everything? Because I believe in our business. We need to be in our masculine. The masculine is the container, and the feminine is everything that's in the container. So, like, literally, if you think about it like a bottle of water, the masculine would be the bottle and the feminine would be the water. It has to be there. But how can you bring your feminine in your relationship? And you have to first understand how you're being in your masculine. Practice trust because a lot of us, at least this is my story, me being in my masculine and my relationship was because I felt like I had to control the narrative. I had to control everything. If I didn't step in and step up, then things won't get done. The trip won't get planned, the bills won't get paid. Like I had to be the one to do that. Otherwise, my world would crumble. And so, first being with trust, like what is trust? What can you trust right now in this moment? What do you trust? Who do you trust? And letting that feeling, not the idea of trust, it's about the feeling. What does it feel like in my body when I trust somebody? When I trust something, and really practicing that. How can I trust? How can I soften? When we can trust, we can start to soften. We can start to literally sit back. Like I trust that this chair is holding me. I trust that I'm in a safe space right now with you. And just letting that lead you and building safety there.
SPEAKER_00:Do you feel like once you start trusting and really practicing that, then your day-to-day. So something I've seen and heard from a lot of women is that they feel their approach is very masculine because they're blunt, straightforward, type A personalities. They think stepping into their feminine means being more dainty and like, hi, how are you? I think that you should always remain yourself if you're straightforward, but also practicing letting go in the situations instead of trying to control how the conversation goes. Yes. Let them lead you. If a guy wants to, he will.
SPEAKER_01:1000%.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So if he wants to go on a date with you, he will reach out.
SPEAKER_01:He will ask you, he will lead you. It is literally like a lion and a lioness. When he wants her, he will kill all of the other lions to have this lioness. Let them lead because men want to be the masculine, wants to lead, wants to provide, wants to take care of his partner. It's not to say, don't be a strong woman. Yeah. But strength, there's a lot of strength and softness. Because when you're soft, it means you're trusting. And I think the misconception is that softness is weakness. But I think softness is powerful, it's divine. It's the lioness. She just walks around and she just. Yeah. And the lion's like, her, yes. You know?
SPEAKER_00:No, I love that too because even on my journey this past year and a half, I took a lot of time to be alone. Almost to the point where I was like, okay, Alex, you've done your isolation period. Now it's doing more detriment than good. So it's time for you to step out of it. But I really do think that there is a lot of power, like you mentioned earlier, getting so comfortable with yourself and being alone, but also such power in silence.
SPEAKER_01:It's in those silent moments that you can hear the voice of yourself, the voice of something greater than you. That's where all of the answers live. You're not gonna find it in some man or another partner. You're gonna find it within yourself.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I love that. What you learned about building your identity, confidence, alignment through your work.
SPEAKER_01:I think what I've learned about myself in this work. Well, first of all, I got into this work for myself, selfishly. Like, yes, I've always wanted to help people as a chef, and even growing up as a I always was helping people. But what I have now realized is that it was because the whole time I was wanting to help myself, and it's been beautiful because it's like that's what leadership looks like. It's like me being brave enough to go first, and I love it with my whole heart. The work that I'm doing with my husband is rippling out into all of my relationships, and so I'm learning that just by following my heart, literally following my heart, what a concept that it's changing the world, especially when you just step into your God-given purpose and everything falls into place, and you went from like the tr transition of being a chef to a life coach.
SPEAKER_00:Was there an in-between period where you weren't working as much or you weren't as financially stable because you were putting more effort into walking into this life coach? How was that transition to stress?
SPEAKER_01:It was rough, you know. I was actually in my certification process during COVID and I was also private chefing. So I had literally seven clients then COVID started, and I lost five of my seven clients. I actually took it as a sign, and I had invested all this money to get my certifications and really just understand that I was supposed to solely focus on this right now. In the beginning, it was so hard because we couldn't even get certain groceries. Yeah, you know, some it was like my clients that I had for a long time, and they're like, whatever you can cook for us, we trust you. Just do your thing, Alyssa. You don't need to submit any menus. The financial aspect of it was scary. Now looking back, it's like those were just opportunities for growth, deepening my relationship with trust, not just in something outside of myself, but with myself. Because this is in service of my heart, it's inevitable that I'm going to succeed. But it was scary. And when you're faced with scarcity, the work becomes to remember who you are, your resilience, and all that you're capable of. I remember I had hired a life coach too at that time. She had me make a list of all of my accolades. And I'm like, damn, I have really accomplished a lot in my life. I've done some really impressive things. Of course, I'm gonna be okay. I'm resilient. I am resourceful. I'm going to get this. I'm gonna be successful at this because I'm putting my whole heart into it.
SPEAKER_00:That's so cool. Even you were saying before being a chef, food, and also through your life coach, you do a lot of breath work, frequency healing. Is that just breath work? Just breath work? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I'm not I'm not trained in sound, but when I do my breath work workshops, I do them with somebody who does.
SPEAKER_00:Because I'm a firm believer in frequency healing. I'm just getting into breath work. I have to say, yesterday I did Reiki for the first time, and he was like, Okay, Alex, I just need you to breathe through this. It was honestly a little bit of a struggle for me. My mind wanted to wander, and I've done a lot of meditation, but I've always had trouble with breath work, and so that's something I really want to step into. But I love how everything that you've done goes hand in hand and how important food is and health and wellness in general. Yeah. Because I talk a lot about the food here and growing your own natural food so much better, even the food in Europe, so much better. Do you get a lot of your stuff from the farmer's market? Oh, yeah. I go to one of the farmers markets in LA every Sunday. Even whenever I was doing it with him, he was saying that my third eye had a little bit of blockage, and he said the third eye is actually in correlation with your gut. It can either be a disruption of what you're eating or how you're eating, but also your intuition. That maybe my intuition just needs like a little bit more coddling or listening to. And I need to be more confident in it to open up the chakra of my third eye.
SPEAKER_01:It's interesting when you said that you were challenged by your breath. That usually is a sign of you're like living up here, like your nervous system is wired for fight flight, and so it's understanding what's happening in your body. Like, why am I not feeling like I can take a deep breath? Yeah. It's usually correlated with a lack of trust. That makes total sense. So it's your nervous system's way of like controlling, but actually it's controlling you.
SPEAKER_00:If your trust has been broken by friendship, family, life in general, and now you feel like you have a guard up and you're not quick to trust, it's almost like the trust has to be built over time. What would you tell your clients?
SPEAKER_01:That's such a good question. First, I would say that makes a lot of sense why you don't trust, why you can't take the breath, why you can't soften with this person. And you just look to the things that you can trust. How do I trust myself? What ways do I trust myself? What ways do I not trust myself? If you're somebody who breaks promises, if you say you're gonna wake up at six every morning and meditate, are you actually doing that? The trust starts with yourself first and foremost. Because if we can't trust ourselves, how are we gonna actually trust other people? And so working on that relationship with yourself and taking tangible baby steps of oh, I said I was gonna wake up at six and meditate. I'm gonna wake up at six and meditate because that builds confidence with yourself. Yeah. When you trust yourself, you feel more confident. When you feel more confident, you can start trusting other people because you're like, no matter what, I got me. Yeah, I'm gonna be okay. I got me.
SPEAKER_00:And if you have so much self-trust, but there's other people who you're supposed to be trusting, but they're putting self-doubt and projecting it onto you, how do you gain more trust within yourself to believe, or do you create a boundary with those people? Give me an example. So you're very self-trusting, but there may be people around you who you want to trust, or who's a good friend, or maybe relationship, but they almost project like lack of trust onto you. They're not trusting, or that just makes you self-doubt to trust yourself.
SPEAKER_01:Discernment. Is this theirs or is this mine? Because if you genuinely feel that embodied trust within yourself, it's not, it's not yours, it's theirs. And especially as an empathetic person, we can pick up on other people's energy. And so it's setting an energetic boundary with yourself of like, oh, actually, this is this is not my story, this is their story. And, you know, it would depend on the boundary, right? Like the actual boundary that you would need to set with that person. If somebody's projecting lack of trust onto you, that's their story. That's their projection of something that happened, that that trust rupture within themselves. It's not necessarily about you, it's about something that happened to them and learning to not take it personally. Because we can't and aren't responsible for other people's emotions and feelings and beliefs. I know.
SPEAKER_00:Even with myself and I'm sure other women can relate, whenever you're so trusting in yourself and you create these boundaries with people, it's being able to create the boundary without coming off as a bitch. You know, especially as a woman. So what would you say? What's a healthy way to create a boundary? And if someone responds in a negative way, is that a projection on how they're feeling?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So first and foremost, boundaries are uh bridges, not walls. Boundaries teach people how to treat you, it models self-respect. I think a lot of times women don't want to set boundaries because we've been conditioned to believe that we need to be nice, the good girl, polite. But what does that mean for us? That means we silence ourselves, we stay not true to ourselves. No. When we set that boundary, we are actually giving permission to other women to set boundaries. It might be hard to hear and it might ruffle feathers. But the right person is going to be like, oh damn. I respect that. And then you can have an open conversation. You know, like, can we have an open conversation about this if this person takes the boundary wrong? It's like this isn't about you, this is for me. You know, I'm saying no for me to protect myself. It has nothing to do with you. And I hope that you could do the same thing.
SPEAKER_00:I'm obsessed with that. Boundary isn't a wall, it's a bridge.
SPEAKER_01:It creates actually more intimacy in a friendship and in a relationship.
SPEAKER_00:When my man throws a boundary, I'm like, ooh, hot. I've always thought of it as a wall. I'll have the conversations, but I've never really thought of it as a boundary, just having those open conversations. I've always thought, okay, if I'm gonna set a boundary, I have to put a hard no stop on whatever is going on here. And so, wow, I'm learning so much.
SPEAKER_01:Before you set the boundary, usually what will happen this, and I'm gonna tell you what I have my clients do. It's because boundaries have been something I've really worked on in my life. When we even think about the boundary, my clients will be like, Oh my god, my palms are getting sweaty, like my heart is pounding, my throat is closing up and tightening. That's a somatic response, by the way. That's your body communicating with you because our body is always communicating with us. I think our mind is the most powerful thing. It's really our body. So when that happens, when you even start to think about the boundary, write a list of every boundary you want to set with people and with yourself and feel that viscerally in your body. What does this feel like in my body? And just be with the feeling. You don't even have to say the boundary to the person or to yourself right now. You're just simply being with the feelings because the more you can be with those feelings, you're like, oh, okay, that wasn't so bad. I'm still okay. I'm still alive. I'm still here. Okay. You start to build that self-trust with yourself, and then you can eventually say the thing out loud. Yeah, that's so good.
SPEAKER_00:I love that. Okay. We are going to honestly, we've touched on everything. So I want to get into a little game. Okay. I love game. Healthy or hard pass.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So I'm gonna give a scenario, and it's either gonna be a healthy habit or a hard pass. Okay. Waking up at 5 a.m. every day. Hard pass. And I want to give a little more context because I also feel like even for myself, you know, I set every morning my alarm set at 6 a.m. Sometimes I'll get up at 7, and then I have that feeling of like I didn't wake up at 6. And it lingers. I think there's a difference between people thinking that you have to wake up at 5 a.m. to have a full productive day. What's the misconception?
SPEAKER_01:I think it's devotion for me over discipline. When you're leading with devotion, you're leading with your heart. When you're leading with discipline, you're leading from your ego fear response. So it's like, okay, well, what is my intention for waking up at five? Is it because there was a book that is called the 5 a.m. Club and said I need to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to be productive like a man? No, we can wake up at 6, 7, and we might have a list of things to do, and we can still get them done if we're intentional with our time. So I think it just goes back to intention. If it's like, no, actually, my intention is to wake up at 5 because that is the only way I can get all of these things done that I have set out to do for the day.
SPEAKER_00:And listening to your body too. Yes. Because that's recently what I've locked. Maybe today I need to wake up at eight and giving yourself grace. It's okay. Your body needs a rest and reset. If your body's not rested and healthy, you won't have anything. What time did you go to bed?
SPEAKER_01:What was your sleep like? Where are you at in your cycle? Women need more sleep at certain times of the month. So break. Cutting off toxic friends without explanation. Healthy. I don't think that you always need to have an explanation for leaving the relationship. If you have a deep understanding of why you're leaving the relationship, the friendship, cutting this person off, then I think that there are it's also circumstantial. Maybe I'm sure that there have been many conversations that have been had before, and it's just like, okay, I'm done. I have had a friendship end before, and it was I'm actually not open to having this conversation anymore. I think it's best that we go our separate ways. I genuinely wish you the best and I wish myself the best. Yeah. Send them off with love. You don't have to do it in a way that's like, I'm not talking to you. Bye. Not in a ghosting way, but in a way that still shows respect.
SPEAKER_00:I'm a big advocate of not in a negative sense, but doing what's best for you. So if there's again been numerous conversations had and you need to block that person to not see their profile or engage with whatever is happening, then I think you need to do what's best for you. Maybe that person doesn't agree with it, but at the end of the day, it's your peace. And if you're at peace walking away from that friendship without explanation, then your gut and intuition tells you everything. If it doesn't serve you anymore, it's okay.
SPEAKER_01:I've heard this quote that's like if it costs you your peace, it costs too much. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Period. Cold plunges and green juice.
SPEAKER_01:Healthy green juice, hard pass on cold plunges. But also circumstantial. Love of green juice. I also don't think it's the only way you should be getting your greens. Yeah. So greens have a lot of fiber, but if you put them in a juicer, it strips them of the fiber. But you're still getting a lot of the other nutrients. So it's healthy. Cold plunges depends where you're at in your cycle. The love of cold plunge, like in our follicular and ovulatory, like for women, when we are at that point in our cycle, when we have the energy, when we're working out hard and we're feeling like we want to go out and flirt with our husband or wherever. Yeah, that's when you cold plunge. But if you're about to get your period, please do not cold plunge. Your body wants to be warm, it wants to go into hibernation. That is what your body is asking for. So again, listening to your body.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I know my Chinese medicine doctors taught me so much. She was like, you need everything hot. So waking up, having something hot to drink, but also having a balance. But cold plunges are not my friend. She was like red light and fred. But again, at the right time. Do you do celery juice?
SPEAKER_01:No, I mean, I think there are a lot of benefits for sure. I haven't personally had anything chronically that I've used food to heal me entirely. But I have heard stories of people who have healed their eczema with celery juice. They're like, I had chronic eczema, and I just started doing this and taking some Chinese herbs and meditating.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And literally my eczema went away. Eczema is a stress response. It's all mind, body, soul.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Saying no without guilt. Healthy. You knew I was gonna say that. I saw one of your posts. What was it? Things I'm not ashamed of.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Unfortunately, I do love saying no as a complete sentence. Over a late. If I'm being completely honest, I do sometimes feel guilty when I say no. But I have just be like, you're saying no because this is true for you. But still, that old guilt will come up, and I just have to check myself and remember. Remember.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And if somebody is saying no, but they're getting that feedback of, well, why not? Why can't you go? Why can't you do this? Just say yes. What would your advice be for them?
SPEAKER_01:I don't think you owe them an explanation, but if you genuinely feel into the situation and you're like, I want to answer this with honesty, tell them why. Because it's not aligned. I'm actually really tired and I've had a long week, and going to dinner tonight feels like too much on my nervous system, and I have a big day tomorrow.
SPEAKER_00:And for someone who's not understanding of that, then it's somebody that you really don't need to keep around.
SPEAKER_01:I'm very much at a place in my life where I use a lot of discernment as to who I spend my time with. I'm picky about my friends. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I mean you should be.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I got a lot of boundaries. I got a lot of expectations because it's like I want people to show up and meet me where I can meet. It's like this symbiotic relationship. I'm looking for people like that. So am I.
SPEAKER_00:Manifest or okay. Making a to-do list. Healthy. Healthy. My OCD is like, yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_01:Give me a to-do list, especially because it helps us stay on track, especially women, because we are multi-taskers, multi-dimensional. We can do many things at one time. And that feels like a lot. I feel like a to-do list allows your brain to relax because you're like, I have it written down. It's right here in front of me. I can just check it off the list. Okay, what's next? This, this, this. And it just helps you stay organized and not sidetracked.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and keeps it keeps your peace internally. Yeah, I love it. I love a list. I love a journal. I love a planner. I'm all about all of it. Me too. Okay, what about manifest journaling?
SPEAKER_01:Hell yes. Healthy. Yes. Healthy AF. Yes. One of my best friends created this company called the Manuscripting Journal. You should have her on here, actually. She's amazing.
SPEAKER_00:I love that.
SPEAKER_01:She has this method and it's manifest journaling. You just write down your dream life because manifesting isn't about just setting it down and forgetting about it. When you write all of these things down, it evokes feelings within you. And these feelings evoke your inspired action that you're taking in your life. And that draws you closer to the actual thing that you're calling into your life. You become an energetic match to it. I do this three to four times a week.
SPEAKER_00:Are you a believer in saying things out loud when you're manifesting as opposed to writing it or having them hand in hand?
SPEAKER_01:That depends. Sometimes I'll share with my husband the things that I wrote, but I feel them in my body. I call it manuscript. Oh, manuscript, and feel the sensations in my body. I'll turn on music or go for a walk and really be with everything that I just wrote down because it's about the feeling. We say things all day long that we never follow through or actually mean because there's not a feeling attached to it.
SPEAKER_00:I love that manifesting and feeling what it's like to have obtained whatever you're manifesting.
SPEAKER_01:That's what draws you to the actual thing.
SPEAKER_00:It's also really healing.
SPEAKER_01:It's fun, it's imaginative. It allows you to tap into that childlike wonder using your imagination for us, not against us.
SPEAKER_00:Because if you're manifesting about a career that you want or a career goal, and maybe you have self-doubt about that career goal, and you write it down and you manifest it, and then you feel what it's like to be in that position currently, it kills the self-doubt.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, because it reinforces your power, which is the truth about you. Do you have any other good, healthy habits that you personally love to practice? Every single morning I have a presence practice. When I first started my spiritual journey, I would do all of the things. I would literally wake up at 5 a.m. every day. I would meditate for an hour, I would journal, I would do breath work, I would do all the things. I started to realize I was doing it completely disconnected from why I was doing it. It just felt non-intentional. So what I do now is a presence practice. Every single morning, I never miss a morning. I sit with myself in silence, or I'll turn on some nice music. I check in with my body, and I'm like, what do you need today? Hand on heart, hand on belly, and I just listen to what my body is saying. It always is asking for meditation. Literally, nine times out of ten, it's like, I need to meditate and I need to move my body, not just work out. I work out four or five times a week, keeping on one of these soul-igniting playlists and literally just moving my body, stretching my neck, stretching out my hips, stretching my spine. A lot of times it's journaling and it might be brain dumping. I might have had a little bit of anxiety when I woke up and just brain dumping everything and then moving. It's really an opportunity for me to check in with myself because the rest of the day I'm supporting my clients, talking to my husband, taking my dog out, handling business.
SPEAKER_00:Do you give yourself a certain amount of time every day, or is it whatever you feel your body needs that morning?
SPEAKER_01:Most of the time it's like, and I I realize that this is not sustainable for most people, but it's usually an hour to two hours. This morning I had time for an hour and I was very intentional. I set my alarm because my morning presence practice is the most important part of my day. Therefore, I'm going to wake up early so that I can do this and then come here.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, I'm gonna start trying it. I want to touch more so on you and your journey building a business for all the girls out there because we touched on the healing, the life coach aspects. For you personally, what has it been like building your own business? And also give us a little insight into your business.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so my business is like the heart of my existence. Building a business is hard because it challenges you in ways that you would never expect. You have to face your self-doubt, your imposter syndrome, whatever stories that are living there. When you build a business, it will build you. It's been amazing because it's really allowed me to anchor in my belief in myself and serve from a deeper embodiment. What my business is now is I get to help women become the best version of themselves. I have a membership called the Higher Self Club, and we meet twice a month. It's women who are all on their journey of becoming, not fixing themselves, but remembering who they've always been. There's a library of workshops that I've done over the years, and we have two live calls every month. It's like the best community in the world. I love these women so much. Some of them have been with me since day one.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:All of them in there. I have been my private clients at some point, and now they're in higher self-club. We meet twice a month. The first call is all about the workshop. So the lesson. There's a theme every month. So say one month is like masculine, feminine dynamics. It's just all about everything is empowering. Yeah. And then the second call is the end of the month, and that's the integration call. Integration is the most important part in life. We can read a book and get all of the wisdom from the book, but if we don't put that into practice, what's the point? So that's what our integration call is all about. I love it. I also host women's retreats. I just had one in Sedona right at the base of Cathedral Rock. We did breath work, sound bath, feminine embodiment workshops. We had delicious food. We went hiking. And I'm hosting another one in Sedona in the spring. So and then I also have my private coaching business. I do private one-to-one clients for women who are wanting to step into the best version of themselves. And you integrate the workout side of things too. Oh so the company is uplift. I've been working out with this girl, Lindsay. She's a fitness influencer. I started working out with her in 2020 when the world shut down. I couldn't go to the gym. One of my friends was like, come do this Zoom workout. She was amazing. Fast forward to two years ago, she and I had some DM exchanges. She's like, hey, I'm launching an app and I don't want it to just be fitness. I want it to be like mind, body, soul, wellness. And would you be interested in coming on as the mindfulness coach? And you can write guided meditations for everybody. So here I am. I'm now part of the uplift community, and I write meditations for her platform. We have a challenge. No excuse November. No excuse November. It's not too late. And there's like live journal prompts and mini workshops and workouts and accountability and community. I feel that has been such a creative way for me to be in my flow, be in my imagination, writing the meditations, recording the meditations. It's it's really fun.
SPEAKER_00:That's amazing. Yeah. How do you channel in for a meditation whenever you're guiding it?
SPEAKER_01:That's such a good question. First, I come up with the meditation. What is the meditation? And then I find the music that kind of inspires me for this meditation. And then I sit down and I type out the meditation. Like as I'm hearing the song, I just can like channel what I want to say. And I'll also write down the end goal, like how I want people to feel throughout the meditation, the purpose of the meditation. And that inspires me to create it and write it.
SPEAKER_00:And I think it's cool for people who are struggling to meditate. Whenever they get guided meditations, it allows the part of the brain that is maybe going crazy or doesn't allow them to focus. It's like, okay, well, this meditation is solely on this subject.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So you don't need to be trying to figure out what you're even trying to meditate on. You can literally just lock in on this one thing.
SPEAKER_01:We actually have within the Uplift platform a beginner series, like a meditation beginner series called Breathe and Begin. And I curated the whole thing to be able to teach you how to build a meditation practice. Like the end of the challenge is you've adapted a practice of meditation for yourself. The meditation is actually not about quieting our mind, it's about being with our thoughts and not letting them control us. A lot of people are like, Oh, I can't turn off my brain.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I used to think that too. You can sit for 20 minutes and maybe 10 minutes of that 20 minutes, you're just intent your intention is you're just watching the thoughts pass by like clouds. It might be what you do for an entire 10 minutes, but you start to be aware of how much you're thinking.
SPEAKER_00:I love that. Because whenever I've meditated, it's I have thoughts or visuals that will come and go.
SPEAKER_01:They call it a practice because there is no perfection at the end of it. There is no perfect way to meditate. It's just, can I sit here and do this every day? Practice.
SPEAKER_00:Everything spirituality-wise is so individualized. Just having the base for it and the intention going into it. From there, my meditation looks different than your meditation. Having the base for it, like on the app, doing the beginner version for people that don't know where to start or how to start. The intention of okay, I just want to try this for two minutes, three minutes, four minutes. And if you fall asleep into it, it's okay. There's tomorrow. I personally learned so much today, even though it's for you guys. I love soaking in all the information too.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think it would be so fun to be a podcast host because you're like a sponge and you get to have all of these people on and learn all of these things.
SPEAKER_00:It's pretty cool. I soak in so much information, and then also with my brain, it's like compartmentalizing, like, okay, what questions are important to ask in this moment? Or, you know, having to filter through those, but usually it flows so natural. Have you done an aura reading before? No. I feel like you have to do one. I know, I've always wanted to, and I never have. Yeah. So I recently had Farinon. She does aura readings, and I never had one before. But with what you've told me, I feel like one of your colors is turquoise.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, interesting. My birthstone is turquoise. Oh, really? Yeah, and I have a lot of turquoise. That's the stone that I resonate with a lot.
SPEAKER_00:I bet it is, from what you're explaining. She said I'm turquoise with a yellow outer ring. And so turquoise is an empath color. So you love to help people, and probably in a past life, if you believe in that, you're a shaman or a healer of some sort. And you attract people that need healing as well, which can be a really crazy thing because turquoise is really have to put up strong boundaries. But at the same time, you love natural ways of healing, like through food, red light therapy, acupuncture, and you're a very sensitive color, so you also take on other people's vibes or energies. So, like creating the boundary. I mean, I can go on all day. It's definitely a turquoise.
SPEAKER_01:Just even you saying that out loud. Or you should connect me with her. Yes, I would love to do an aura reading. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I've always wanted to do one. And it's crazy how different aura colors connect with each other. She was like, Alex, you being turquoise and yellow, you need to be with other turquoises, or they will perceive you the wrong way. She had like an energy healing, and she said, like, my right hip held a lot. And then the Ricky guy said that he was like, Your something's with your right hip. And he was like, you know that your left from the waist down, your left side is your mother, and your right side is your father.
SPEAKER_01:Your whole left side is feminine, your whole right side is masculine. Okay. I always invite my clients to start to notice where they're tensing in their body if they feel it more on their right or their left as a way to understand. What is there? Where can everyone find you? I hang out on Instagram. Love me some Instagram. I'm also more on TikTok. I thought you were about to say, I'm also on hinge.
SPEAKER_00:I was like, Aren't you married? You're like, you can also find my meditations on hinge because people need them the most there. I'm like, I'm actually only here to help you.
SPEAKER_01:To help the hingers.
SPEAKER_02:Anyway, it's so weird.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I'm unhinged, not on hinge. I'm unhinged on TikTok. I don't really have any direction of where I'm going. I just post things that I want to post. The other day I posted I was having a rant. Like I went off on a rant. I was in the luteal phase of my cyclog, and I posted on TikTok. And Instagram stories mostly love Instagram, love the DMs. That's where I post all my stuff. That's where I promote my retreats. And when I have an opening for private coaching. So that's where I be. And your at is at Alyssa Herman. Yes, at Alyssa Herman. Double R Double E. H E R R M A N N with an underscore. Love. It's very confusing.
SPEAKER_00:Hey, I'll tag all of her stuff below and then also the app Uplift. So if you want any of her guided meditations, whether you're a beginner, they're all there for you.
SPEAKER_01:I also have meditations on my Higher Self Club. Club is my website. It says community and all these meditations. But we have a support group where everybody's chit-chatting.
SPEAKER_00:If you're looking for more community around different spiritual things, that's probably one of the best places to find them because you're also getting all of Alyssa's stuff, but a really trusted and great community.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, if you're on your healing journey, wanting to step into the best version of yourself, find your partner, create a business, and up level your life.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having me. This is so fun. I appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. Every time. All right, guys, that concludes another entry of the Dry Diaries. We will see you next week. Cool. Thank you. I feel like I personally learned so much and not your therapy session.
SPEAKER_01:But also, so many people relate. It's like when you ask a question, like when you raise your hand in school, or when somebody raises their hand, you're like, oh thank god somebody asked that question. Because I too was wondering.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Actually.
