The Moment You Realize You’ve Outgrown Your Old Life (with Justice)

In this episode, my friend Justice joins me for a conversation about that strange moment when you start realizing parts of your life don’t feel the same anymore.

Since March on The Dry Diaries is all about rewriting your story, we talk about what it’s like when the things that once felt normal suddenly start feeling draining...the friend groups, the environments, even certain routines. Nothing huge has to happen for you to realize you’re evolving… sometimes it’s just a quiet shift where you start seeing things differently.

Justice and I talk about growing through different phases of life together, what it looks like to evolve while still keeping the right people around, and that in-between stage where you’re not the old version of yourself anymore but you’re still figuring out what the next chapter looks like.

 Dear Diary Prompts

What part of my life feels like it belongs to a past version of me?

Where am I evolving even if I can’t fully explain it yet?

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Transcript

Reinvention And A Friendship Test

unknown 0:06

This is the Dry Diaries with your author, Alex Dry.

Alex 0:18

Hey guys, welcome back to another entry of the Dry Diaries. It's your author, Alex Stry. Today I am joined with my best friend, Justice Miles.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Hello.

Alex 0:30

Okay, so let's do as this month on the Dry Diaries, we've been talking about reinvention and stepping into the best version of yourself. And so obviously, before you step into the best version of yourself, there's a lot of shedding and letting go that you have to do. And once you start changing internally, eventually your external life will reflect that. And there's nobody better who I could choose to do this episode with than Justice. So to give you guys a little bit of context, Justice and I met probably four years ago now.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

No, that was 2020. I think we've known each other for six years. It's been a while.

Alex 1:18

It's been years, maybe five years, four years. I'm curious though. Maybe six. We don't know. I've told you guys a little bit about the content house era. And Justice was one of the members in the content house with me. And through that, we've obviously remained friends. We've gone through so many life changes and we've seen each other evolve. She's helped me through some of the hardest times, honestly, in my life. And vice versa. Yeah. That's all I can say about that time in my life. Sometimes growth just means evolving alongside the right people. And I think that's a little bit of a misconception, is that whenever you're going through this process of reinventing yourself and releasing basically the old version of you, is that you have to let go of a lot of things around you. And so having justice on the podcast was someone I specifically chose for this episode because it just proves that yes, you are gonna be friends. You might get out of a relationship, but you don't have to. And justice is a testament to that. Do you feel like we've changed a lot in the last few years?

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Sis? That's not even a question. Of course we have. Yeah, no, I think we have changed. And touching on what you said, we've changed dramatically and for the better, especially after living in that house. But at the same time, I have recognized that you do, you grow apart from some people, and then some people you grow together with. And I think our growth specifically, we were always aligned to some degree living in that house, and that's why we got connected, because we were just sitting back like this is a lot of chaos that doesn't align with us. But it was fun. I think it actually strengthened our friendship. I understand you more, you understand me more. I have an anxiety surrounding my friends not reaching back to me, and then knowing you are the type of friend that just lets your phone die and won't text people for days. I know these things about you. If anything, I would say that strengthen our friendship. And I think that's something a lot of people don't talk about enough, is that real friendships don't require you to stay the same person, but they require that you guys grow in the same direction.

Alex 3:34

I think it's also respecting each other's growth and the process. And because obviously, whenever you're going through these changes, you also feel what the fuck is going on with you. And having someone that just meets you where you're at and feels safe to communicate them. I think safety is a big factor. You can have a friend communicate, hey, this is what I'm going through in this moment. I may be a little bit off, or I may not be texting you back. And they're like, okay, I see what you're going through. I support you. I respect it. And I'm here if you need anything too.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

I think you're really good at communicating yourself in that way. I think I could probably work on it, but I love when people give themselves what they need. That's a huge part of my change that I'm working on. Give yourself what you need, girl. If you don't want to talk to people, you don't have to. I always feel this force of I have to do this, I have to talk to somebody, I have to do that. And yeah.

Alex 4:26

I feel like you're great at communicating.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

I'm good at communicating, but I don't think I'm good at communicating. My boundaries is probably what I'm That's another conversation.

Alex 4:33

I'm good at communicating how I feel if I feel safe to share it with the person.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Maybe that's what it is. Yeah. And that really would resonate with me in terms of my friend circles and what I'm doing lately because I think I surrounded myself with a lot of people that I didn't feel safe with. They were fun. I did have deep conversations with them. I did overshare, but was it safe? Probably not.

Alex 4:57

When you're growing, it's not always obvious at first. It's not just this thing where you wake up one day and you're a completely different person and everything's changed. No. I wish.

When Success Still Feels Off

Alex 5:10

So I have to ask you: have you ever had a moment where your normal life you live? Friendships, the environments, the places you go to. One day it was all great, and then it started to feel like something was off.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Girl, I'm going through that right now. I'm like, not you exposing me on this episode. Yes, that's the state that I'm currently in. Look, I'm 28. I worked in a hospital. I did my master's degree. I moved out of the country. There's this funny TikTok trend. How else can I get attention in my 20s? I've done the marathon. I moved out of the country. And on paper, I think it looks like a very successful life. I was modeling internationally. Yeah. It's like on paper, I and even me, when I sometimes sit with myself and I'm like, oh, I haven't done anything in my life. And I look and I'm like, what the heck? I've done all of these different things. But there is something about all of this that felt like I still wasn't all the way there. There was something missing. I'm in the middle of it right now. To this day, I couldn't tell you exactly what that is, but I decided to make a change. And I think that's something a lot of people are afraid to do. As I'm like stepped out of medicine, stepped out of the hospital job. I'm done with the master's degree. I am still modeling a little bit, but that's also not my main focus. I packed up my savings in my little bag and I started two different companies. They're still an infancy. We are growing, but I can't say what's gonna happen. The worst thing I think I can do is be comfortable, but misaligned. And I think that's how I felt. I was comfortable on paper, everything looks great in my life, but I'm misaligned. There's something missing, there's something else to this life. And I'm young. We have so much time in front of us. There's people finishing med school at 45 years old. I've been there. Late 20s, early 30s, that's when it happens because it's you open yourself up to so many different possibilities. I'm so proud of you for starting this podcast. I remember when it was all coming together.

Alex 7:05

Can I tell the story? You guys know I talked about traveling Europe, going to Serbia, and I always said I went to my best friend's boyfriend's house in Serbia. This is the best friend that I was with in Europe, justice. We traveled all throughout. She part-time lives there, so she knows the best spots and planned everything. I'm a huge planner, but having a friend that actually plans and I don't have to is so great. That's one of the things I actually love about you, one of the many things. But yeah. So, anyways, I was talking about starting a podcast when we were in Europe about a year and a half ago. I bought all the equipment and I took some of it with me to Europe. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna start the podcast. I don't know where it's gonna go. I had really had no plan, but I wanted to start a podcast. So I set up this whole thing in our hotel room. Justice and I film a podcast episode on the bed and our robes. We talked about literally nonsense.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

We were talking about nothing. But that's it. It's something you wanted to do. The podcast is what you wanted, and you just went for it. And I think that's what you have to do. It's the same with my business. When something doesn't feel right, or you just don't feel like you're all the way there, you just did it. And it's like, okay, so what? You scrap the episode, you start it. That's the most powerful thing you can do. I think that's the biggest thing.

Alex 8:28

I've been in this in-between phase of figuring out who I am and really stepping into my power the last year and a half. I've gone through some of the hardest times of my life, had to make some of the hardest decisions, also have had extremely lonely phases. Justice knows I would call her vents. I had to detox a lot of things out of my life that I used to tolerate that I just won't accept anymore.

Starting Before You Feel Ready

Alex 8:55

Some of it was family things, friends, some of it was myself and what I personally needed to work on. Honestly, a lot of it was myself. And I'm still in that phase of detoxing and figuring out, but now I have such clarity of okay, do I want to accept this? Will I accept this to move forward? But you're always constantly reinventing yourself. And so trusting your intuition and realizing if you feel a little bit off in a friendship situation you're tolerating, romantic relationship, or even a business situation, then it's probably something that needs to be removed. And nine times out of ten, whenever you remove those things, that's when you're able to take that next level of the breakthrough that you're looking for. You're making room for something better.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Everything that gets removed is always making room for something better. I 100% believe that.

Alex 9:52

I think that's where the reinvention thing gets a little bit emotional. Because whenever you start to outgrow your life, you're not just changing your circumstances, you're changing your identity. And so it's like, what the fuck am I doing? Where am I going? Like my and so it's scary. And maybe you used to be someone who people pleased, chased validation, tolerated chaos, stayed quiet to keep the peace. But like now, yeah, literally, check, check. But now you're someone who sets boundaries, protects your peace, trusts yourself, speaks up, and just doesn't tolerate the bullshit, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Yeah.

Alex 10:33

This is the person I would like to be.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

I've definitely grown. I mean, that yeah, that's the whole thing. Have you grown? I think the answer is yes. We can improve. That's like the whole piece about evolving. Is like I am that person that I love to wake up and be like, oh my God, I'm so different than I was a year ago. I'm different than I was

Identity Shifts And Core Values

SPEAKER_01 10:55

five minutes ago. What you told me just now changed my life. I'm gonna be different tomorrow. I love that. And I think that people aren't afraid of that. Or like afraid of being like, I don't know. Like, I once had this girl tell me, like, oh, you're always changing. And I said, Yeah. And she's like, Well, I'm not a chameleon. And I know that was like a very kind of a negative way of framing change. And I was like, if you are gonna call me a chameleon, bitch, I'm a fucking gecko. Because I love that I can acquire new information. And I don't know, maybe it's a skill that people don't have, but I love that I can acquire new information day to day, minute to minute, change my perspective, even with problem solving, with friends, and with anything. As soon as you acquire new information, if you don't change based on that new information, it's weird. Why are you moving through life, getting all these new tools and all these new things, ideas, and you're not changing based on the new ideas, tools? And if you don't change, you're just stuck.

Alex 11:47

So I think that's really important. I think that there's a difference in being a chameleon, like you're changing the different environments that you're in. So I change who I am around this person to this person, like two different people, two different friend groups. But at your core, like you're still authentic to yourself. But if you're acting completely different and say, at my core, I don't lie, I'm very loyal and I'm very blunt. Those are three things that I that at my core who I am. If I go into a friend group and I start lying, people pleasing, not standing up for myself, being really quiet, not who I am at my core. And if I'm acting that way, then I'm probably not safe in that environment. Or I'm doing it to fit in, which me personally, I'm not doing anything to fit in. I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Past age 18, if you're still trying to fit in, baby girl, you got some problems that we need to address. Yeah, no. I don't think I do anything to fit in. I definitely do things to make other people feel comfortable, though. That's something that I'm working on. I agree with you. It's all about growth. I think you should always be acquiring new information and growing based on that information. It's things people tell you, it's things that you are experiencing, the way that you see the world, something you read on a journal or a magazine, those are all the things that you're acquiring daily. And I do think that you 100% have permission to change based on those things.

Alex 13:16

Yeah, 100%. At what period in your life do you feel like you've changed the most?

SPEAKER_01 13:24

Oh, that's hard. Cause I feel like it's like what we talked about earlier. You can't really pinpoint one point in time that you've changed, but I can just see my growth over the years. What you said earlier, the places I used to like going out, I don't enjoy going out anymore. And the type of people I'm around, I don't enjoy those people anymore. But make no mistake, I still love being out till 6 a.m. So it's like I have changed in those ways. But the most change, that's tough. Honestly, it might be right now. This is probably the first time in my life. This is probably the first time in my life, again, as a 28-year-old, I'm doing a total overhaul. Now that I'm 28, I feel I'm actively making changes because I can see I don't like this about my life or myself. And I'm consciously doing it. Whereas before it was very automatic. It was just like, oh, I outgrew this person, I outgrew this relationship, I outgrew this environment, and it was natural. Now I'm very much actively like I don't align with this.

Alex 14:26

Which is funny because in astrology, I believe it's age 28 to 31 or 32 is your biggest transformation.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Yeah, I think Saturn return. I've heard of that.

Alex 14:38

So it's where you step into your power, you start owning who you are. My Saturn is going crazy because that shit is spinning. Oh that makes sense. Yeah, but I think that the version of you that you built in your current life, you just have to come to the realization of that isn't always the version that's gonna build your future. And so once you come to that realization, it's like, oh, there are things that I'm gonna have to let go to be able to move forward, which for me was so scary because I was so used to having huge ass friend groups, big birthday parties. I still had a semi-big birthday party this year.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

I was gonna say, uh, I wasn't there, but I did see the party bus. I did see the entire rented out thing.

Alex 15:25

I constantly had people around me, even if it was during the weekday, like, come over, let's have like a movie night. But I think that now I've had the realization I have four or five strong best friends. And at the end of the day, I know that those best friends will be there for me

Quality Over Quantity Friendship Reality

Alex 15:40

no matter what. And I need to be thankful for those and start pouring into those people. And we had a talk about this. I think the last time we were together. Oh no, I think it was on the phone. And you're like, it was when I called you about a family situation. And I remember I was in my room at my dad's house, and you were like, Alex, you have four or five best friends who love you no matter what. And you just really need to focus on those friendships because guys, I hate texting. Pick up the phone and call me. We'll answer if my phone's not dead. I've been better about it. But at the end of the day, that really was a changing moment for me of oh, I have focused on all these other outside friendships. Where are those people now? They're not aligned with me in this phase of my life. And so the people that have stuck with me, those are the people that I need to be following up with.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

So yeah, I definitely agree with that. We hear this all the time quality over quantity, but what did it really mean to you? Because for me, it was just like in one ear and out the other. Because one of the craziest things, obviously, we lived in that creator house in LA, which was just chaos disguised as rent. But it was like we used to have people in our house before seven. Yeah. Not kidding. There was no moment that I would walk in the house and nobody was there. That never happened. And I will say I needed that at that point in my life. I think we all did. I think that was part of the reason we loved it. And let's not like discredit the entire experience. We've said this so many times. There was a lot of chaos, but at the same time, we also had so much in that community. I really was just hanging out with people just to fucking hang out. There was no purpose. And I'm not saying every hangout has to be purposeful. I love us getting together and chatting. But also, I realized that there's so much more substance in my friendships now that I don't like hanging out with people just for the hell of it. Like it's not the same as it used to be. And I think that's really important, is I don't want to have people around me just to fill gaps in life. I'd rather just be by myself. And coming from me, yeah, that's crazy.

Alex 17:50

Yeah, that's great.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

If you know me, that's wild. That's not something that I would have ever said out loud, or I don't think that's something I would have ever even thought. But now I can, and again, that's like this little change that I'm seeing where I'm like, oh, yeah, I actually don't just hang out with people just to fill space and fill time. Um, but that's also been a really difficult thing because I think there are still, especially in the going out scene, I tend to try and make meaningful friendships out of that, which is like you're fishing in the wrong pond, girl. But it's been hard too, because I feel like I want to make more meaningful friendships, and some people just aren't on that agenda. That's been hard to navigate. Same as you. Like, I have my good friends. Hopefully, this new energy that I'm coming with is inviting better friendships in my life. And I think that's huge, right? Is what you talked about in the beginning. You were like, oh, I had changes not only with my environment, my friends, but my own self. There's just things I don't tolerate anymore. So naturally, with the friendships as well. I think the tolerance that I've released is inviting different kinds of people into my life, and that's really

Nonnegotiables Boundaries And Self-Respect

SPEAKER_01 18:45

important.

Alex 18:45

What are four things that you don't tolerate? Non-negotiables, my boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

My non-negotiables, but yeah, they're being pushed around a little bit. Something someone told me actually, because I you know me, I love myself in the sense of who I am. I love that I'm this like la la la. I'm from La La Land. I'm from Los Angeles. Come on, born and raised. I just I don't put that much emphasis into people's bad behavior. I just try to like, ah, they're weird, move on. Life is like that. I do that a lot. But inadvertently, that's got me stepped on, correction, shit on, pissed on, vomited on. That's got me in a really bad place. My non-negotiables lately have been communication, is one. All of my friends know, because friendships are reciprocated. There's things that I do to make my friends feel good because I know that they like that, or my family, or whatever. Like, I really don't have this issue with my family, so I think that's why a lot of my life revolves around friends, especially two, because I don't live in the same country as my family. Yeah. So my life heavily revolves around friendships. And so, that being said, one of my non-negotiables is communication. My friends know I love communication. I'm like, my friends know I love communication. No, but you know that about me, and you will. You'll send me a voice note. I'm so sorry I haven't got your text, but I will get back to you on this day, or I got this and this going on this week. Call it maybe anxiety, I don't know, but I just love hearing from people. I like knowing that I am valued, and I think it's because I come up with a lot of really creative ways to make my friends feel valued. It's just that's friendship. Friendship is a reciprocated thing, and you should get something out of your friends, and they give as well. Give and get you know what I'm saying?

Alex 20:12

I feel like I've gotten better. And you have gotten better.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Yeah, you have gotten better also, yeah, massively with the communication. So communication is one, a non-negotiable. For myself, a non-negotiable boundary right now is negative self-talk. I notice that I'll make really small mistakes. People will do the craziest thing to me, apologize, and then I move on from it. And I genuinely move on from it. That's something I'm really good at. But then I will do something really small and I will just beat myself up about it over and over in my head or be like, why would you say that? Why would you do that? Even a mistake in work, a mistake in speech. I just make it a much bigger deal than it actually is. And I don't want to do that anymore. It's I make mistakes. I'm unfortunately not a robot. I would have loved to be a robot, but I'm not. This is another one for myself. Being late. Oh. Bitch, why are we always late? I'm talking to myself. Like, why are you always late? I think being late is one of the biggest forms of disrespect, yet I am always doing it. Why am I late? And there's never a good reason. It's simply poor time management, which means, yeah, I don't respect my own time because I said that I would be somewhere at this time. That's on myself. And then the other person, yeah. Someone is waiting on me. I had my friend waiting on me 45 minutes for dinner. I had another friend one time waiting on me two hours. They wanted to. I don't know why they didn't leave. I would have left. She got really mad at me. Understandably so. I've been late to an entire trip. My friend was by herself in Lake Como and I showed up a day late because I was late to the airport. I missed my flight. 2026, there is no lateness, only greatness.

Alex 21:44

Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

I just came up with that.

Alex 21:47

Wow. So profound.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

So profound. No lateness, only greatness. I don't want to be late anymore. Why am I always late? There's no good reason. I'm just a late person, and that's so disrespectful. So that's one. My other non degree. Negotiable access. I no longer tolerate endless access. People can always call me. People can always ask me for advice. People can always invite me somewhere. And now I'm like, no, this is energy draining. This is energy sucking. I don't just get to let everybody have access to me all the time. And I used to think that it was a punishment to not allow people to have access to me.

Alex 22:18

So you don't tolerate people wanting access to you all the time or people that are clingy necessarily.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Clingy is the wrong word because I have people in my life that are not clingy whatsoever, but the access that they have to me to drain my emotions is crazy. The disrespect. Why am I accessible to you like that? Why can you just pop into my life whenever you feel like it and ruin my day? The access is crazy. Why do I make myself tired by going to this person's event and this person's birthday dinner? I can never say no. Like the access is reduced this year. You're not just gonna see me everywhere. And before I used to love that. I loved being seen. I love being the girl that was seen. Like you knew I was outside. Now I don't value that. I'm like, no, you're not gonna find me. If you really wanna be in my life, if you really value our friendship, our relationship, whatever it is, I'm gonna like really make an effort for that access. I am no longer just it's there's no golden ticket access anymore where like it's just fast track. And I think that's inadvertently what has created space for people to respect me more. I have a lot of disrespectful people around me. And that's just because I've just allowed unlimited access.

Alex 23:28

I think it's so important to create a boundary, and whoever doesn't respect the boundary or makes you feel bad for saying no, because at the end of the day, you know yourself best. I'm not gonna say yes to go to a birthday dinner if I have been working all day and I feel like my energy is strained and I'm not gonna show up as that best version of myself because you're gonna get a version of me that I don't even like. I'm tired, or I'm not gonna be enjoyable, or I'll probably just sit in the corner and not even talk. At the end of the day, if someone's saying, Hey, I can't come, I've had a really long day, then you have to respect it. Before I took that as somebody was being rude.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Oh, interesting.

Alex 24:08

And so now I'm like, you're tired and you're not able to make it, you've had a really long day. I respect that because I'd rather reschedule that dinner for another time when you're fully present instead of going to a halfway dinner where you're not really there. And then it's okay, why are we here? I could have ordered post-home in my pajamas. Yeah. Why did I get ready? Why did I do my hair for this?

SPEAKER_01 24:30

So, no, that's so true. Actually, something that I don't know if I mentioned this. Did I talk about the quote that my friend told me about my boundaries? One of my friends was like, Oh, I she wanted me to go somewhere. I was like, Oh no, I'm too tired. And she got so mad with me. You are never tired. Now all of a sudden you're tired. Here, blah, blah. I went to gossip to my other friend and I was like, listen to what this bitch said. I was so tired. And that, yes, you're right. You know me. I'm like Energizer Bunny. It takes me to be like, I'm too tired to go. But I really was. I wasn't feeling it. I wanted to rot in bed, which is unheard of. But yeah. It was only like four hours out of the day. My other friend, she goes, Oh, that's so funny, because I feel the opposite. She's like, if you tell me you're tired, I know you're really tired. Holding those boundaries is necessary because I could have caved and been like, oh, she's right. I'm never tired. I should go.

Alex 25:15

But no, I was tired. And so it's gonna affect your next day, like what you have to get done, like your productivity, everything. If you can't make it and you're tired and you need time, let's reschedule. Unless you're doing it last minute. That's where I'm like, okay, within an hour or two, you're like, hey, I can't make it. Sorry. I'm like, And give me a really good reason. Give me warning. Unless you like get sick or something, I felt so bad I canceled on Carly because my stomach, I literally couldn't move out of my bed. So unwell. So I did have to cancel like within an hour or two.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Yeah, I know you said four, but actually that will be my fifth thing I won't tolerate anymore, is letting myself get to that point of tiredness where I crash. I do that constantly. And for myself, I'm like, we're not doing that anymore. When you start to feel a little depleted, I'm immediately going to give myself to get right back here. I go until the tank is empty. I'm sick, my stomach is doing backflips, and then I'm like, okay, now it's time to stop. I'm starting to listen to myself now and be like, hey, we're getting a little bit tired. Let's just take a day off, stay home, not do too much, and recharge.

Healed Or Guilty Rapid-Fire Moments

Alex 26:20

We're gonna play a little game, healed or guilty. I feel like every girl goes through this phase where you start just questioning everything in your life. I'm gonna say different situations, and we have to decide whether we have outgrown this, we're healed from it. Situationships that only text after midnight.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Healed. I don't think I ever was tolerating that.

Alex 26:41

Going out every weekend and waking up Sunday feeling like your life is falling apart. Healed.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

I'm still going out every weekend, but I don't feel like my life is falling apart and I don't let myself get viral. And I don't let myself be like so out that I would even get to that point on a Sunday where I'm like, fuck, what happened?

Alex 26:57

In the last six months. Actually, I don't know how long, but I've been trying to call it quits at a certain hour to make sure that I'm able to wake up the next morning and be productive. When I wanted to go out with you, you were like, Oh yeah, but I have to be home by midnight.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Like, I was just here a few months ago.

Alex 27:13

Being the low maintenance friend who pretends everything is fine.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

Guilty. It's hard. That's a people-pleasing, and I'm still guilty.

Alex 27:23

I just don't like making problems. Yeah. I am on the edge of being fully healed from this.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

Love.

Alex 27:30

There's still a few situations in my life that I am just riding the wave to make sure everything's fine and at peace for the sake of my own peace, to be honest. But I think I healed. Good for you. Staying somewhere way longer than you want just to be polite. Physically? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

Or like metaphorically?

Alex 27:55

I would say physically. So like staying out.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

Oh no, healed. No. As soon as I want to go home, I go home. That I don't think I ever dealt with that as an issue.

Alex 28:05

I'm a little bit guilty in some situations.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

Really?

Alex 28:08

In my head, I'm like, I do not want to be here, but I still stay, make the appearance. It's my friend's birthday. You have to go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Okay. Note to self, don't do a birthday you don't want to be at.

Alex 28:21

She will show up anyways. Dating someone for their potential instead of who they actually are. If you talk to me a year ago in relationships, I was a hundred percent guilty of this. Basically my whole life up to recently. But now I'm healed from it. I would say friendships is more of a thing that I take on the role, and I'm like, oh, I could help them in so many ways. I almost exhaust myself to be like, oh, I'll do this, I'll do this for you. I could put all this time and effort into myself or other people that pay me to do these things.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

And yeah, exhaust-that's almost more dangerous. Friends, like we lose friends all the time, but we're old enough, I think, to like where unless it's like super fucking dramatic, like you're not just gonna cut your friends off. You know, like it takes a lot for friends to just be like, bye, you're done. But with a guy, if they do something, you're like, you gotta go. If you're gonna be my partner, like I'm not just gonna accept this. So it's a lot easier to cut guys off. It's cleaner. Like it will always be like you either broke up or you didn't, and you either talk or you don't. Whereas with friends, it's like you can distance yourself from them for a bit, they come back, and then so you can like really easily end up like, wow. Yeah, but I do know that you do that.

Alex 29:40

In the past, I've given people too many second chances. And now I'm at the point where if I see something or just straight disrespect or something that I'm not aligned with, it depends how bad it is, but I'll give it like two times and then blocked. Blocked or blocked by blocked by. I don't mind. No, I'm serious. This is a new thing I've been doing. I feel blocked is finite. That's the point. That's what I want. If you blatantly disrespect me and have done something so out of character, babe bye. Unless good friends, usually I will give that person the benefit of a doubt of a conversation, friendships where we haven't reached a best friend level. Then if you do something crazy out of character or so disrespectful, no, bye.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

I guess for peripheral friendships, that's this energy I don't have. She's a blocked.

Alex 30:43

I don't know if that's bad, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

Honestly, I don't know. Because I'm not a blocker, but I also am on the other side where you know me, like there's revolving people that should have left my life a long time ago, and they somehow float back in. I think both of us are probably not doing it the right way. There's probably something in the middle.

Alex 31:00

If it's a blocked situation, it has to be something horribly displayed. But I'm all about giving grace to people too. Like, there's been many situations where I've fucked up or I've done something that was out of character, and I need to go to that person and say, Hey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this. I take responsibility for it. And I want forgiveness from them. So, similarly to that, unless it's something crazy, you're blocked. But if it's not, then I'm down to hear what you have to say. And I'm sorry, if someone gives me a genuine apology, me and you are the same in this, I'll forget about a situation and I just move on. I have a good I'm the exact same.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

And I love, I'm so guilty of a good apology. Oh my gosh. Yeah, there's a lot you could do to me if it ends with a really sincere apology. Apologizing is really hard for people to do. And so if you can genuinely come to someone humbly and be like, look, I'm really sorry I did this, I should not have done that. You don't deserve that. That's really noble. And that's that has for me like the utmost respect.

Alex 32:09

Trying to be the cool girl who's unbothered by everything. Guilty.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

Guilty, hundred percent. Yeah, that's my whole life. But that's the thing. I think I am that cool girl. We have really similar personalities in that sense. Like we normally are that cool girl, but it's not, I feel like it almost comes from a place where it's not like I so I can be liked. It's just like I just can't be arguing with you. But then, but I observe, and I think we both do the same thing. We observe until one day it's blocked by.

Alex 32:38

Yeah. So I think we're half and half, healed and guilty of it because we truly are unbothered by most things. But whenever it gets to that brink, I still try to act unbothered. Whereas I need to confront the situation and communicate how I'm feeling.

SPEAKER_01 32:55

I think that's really important because I just ended a friendship with someone because I did this. I let this slide. And then one day I was just like, I don't really like this. And like, why are you doing this? And it obviously didn't come out this calm. It was more like, what the fuck? You're wrong. And it was just like as an adult, like I should have just said how I felt in those moments rather than letting it get to a bubble. Cause that was a friendship that I wanted.

Alex 33:20

But yeah. I think that's something I'm trying to work on too, is if you feel a certain type of way, communicate that with someone. But my problem is if I feel like what I say is gonna be twisted, then I'm like, okay, is it worth saying anything to you about the situation? No matter what I say, it's gonna get combobulated. So I'm trying to take accountability of my emotions and my feelings and being like, okay, Alex, why are you feeling this way? What do you need to release that you're struggling with internally? And this might not even be a reflection of this relationship or this friendship. It might be something that you're dealing with that you're projecting.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

I think we both struggle with expressing ourselves. I think that we like to keep peace. We don't like people to worry about us. We just retreat that way. Oh, my emotions aren't bothering this person. I'm not gonna make this person feel bad. I know that they didn't mean to make me feel this way, so why would I make them feel bad about it? I think we both struggle with putting our emotions out there because you almost fear the outcome.

Alex 34:20

And once I feel unsafe with someone, you almost get a different version of me. Which you've seen this too with mutual friendships. I feel safe around you and I know that I can trust you. It boils down to loyalty. It might be because my childhood or different things I've experienced, but that's a huge thing. Whenever I see that the loyalty isn't there and I don't trust you or feel safe with you anymore, the real Alex is no longer available. You're gonna get the Alex that is still nice and amicable, but you're not gonna see the vulnerable sides of me because I no longer feel safe around you. I think it's normal.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

And I have the had the same problem. Babes, I'm a Leo. Our entire existence is based on loyalty, and that's exactly what happened. I literally told one of my friends a couple months ago when things were good between us, I was like, Oh, this friendship feels really safe to me. I'm so thankful that we have this friendship. And then I started feeling unsafe in the friendship. And I literally said, I was like, I don't feel safe. You created a situation where you didn't value me, and I just don't feel safe in this friendship anymore. And the outcome was we stopped being friends. Loyalty is huge. Loyalty is everything. That's what friends are for. And I get to choose you. Bye. I didn't get to choose my friends. I love my sisters, by the way, but I didn't get to choose my sisters, I didn't get to choose my mom, I didn't get to choose my dad. I get to choose my fucking friends.

Alex 35:37

I'm not choosing that. Some of your friends are your chosen families. Okay, keeping friendships just because you've known someone forever. Healed. Healed.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

No. No, I don't care.

Alex 35:47

We no we don't care. I'll get your updates on Facebook. Yeah, like I don't care. I don't care if I know your granny. Like, bye. Saying yes to plans you absolutely don't want to go to. I'm so semi-guilty.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

I think I'm healed. And I like healed in a way that I never really did that. If I really don't want to go to something, it's for a good reason and I won't go.

Alex 36:08

Oh, I think me too, actually.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

If most of the time I do go because I want to go.

Alex 36:12

Feeling like you have to explain every boundary you set.

SPEAKER_01 36:15

With the wrong people? Yeah, I'd say like half healed, half guilty, because I'm just also trying to work on not having those people in my life.

Alex 36:22

I feel like I do over-explain my boundaries to people that don't respect my boundaries when in reality, like I shouldn't even have to explain myself because if they don't they just need to be gone.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

You just need to be trash removed right now.

Alex 36:37

Being attracted to chaotic people because they're excited. A thousand percent guilty.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

I'm like, I am the chaos. I'm organized. That was like one of the things that I was thinking about. I'm like, oh, you're not chaotic.

Alex 36:53

There's a difference between chaotic and energetic.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

Uh you don't think I'm chaotic? No, I guess not. I'm definitely not that friend. You will never have this like insane, messy story about me on a night out. Yeah, that's true.

Alex 37:05

So you don't cause problems, you don't talk shit, you don't like try to manipulate situations. That's what I describe as chaotic.

SPEAKER_01 37:12

Yeah. Energetic though? Energetic, like insanely. Of course. Those two kind of things, they look a little bit interchangeable. I've always described myself as chaotic in a funny way, not in a bad way. Oh my god, she's causing problems and always doing stuff like that. No, 100% guilty because chaotic people do create excitement in your life. I just had the wildest experience with a really chaotic person.

Alex 37:35

Leaving a hangout and thinking, why do I feel like I need a shower?

SPEAKER_01 37:42

I feel like we've been guilty of this together. Yeah. I would say healed. It's not very often I think like this, but that probably has happened in the past. It's been so long.

Alex 37:54

Probably five years ago, four years ago.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

Yeah, five years ago.

Alex 37:56

It's been a while. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 38:00

That was funny. That's so funny.

Alex 38:02

We already talked about the identity shift. And

The Unsettling In-Between Phase

Alex 38:05

then there's the in-between phase where old friendships feel distant, new environments feel unfamiliar, and your routines feel a little bit uncertain. Have you ever felt a weird phase where you're like, wait, where do I actually belong right now?

SPEAKER_01 38:22

100%. I think that's where I am right now. That's the worst part. This phase is wildly unsettling. I feel like a chicken with my head cut off. Babes, I feel like the head never even existed. Like, that's how crazy I feel right now. That's how wild the transition is. It's not easy. Yes, I think this is the exact moment that it happens, late 20s, early 30s, especially when you do shift your career, like the way that I did, the way that you did. I think that you just open what I would consider like Pandora's box. You just have, oh my God, we can do whatever I want to do. While that is freeing, while that is extremely liberating, it's also very unsettling. And it's just, whoa, I can do whatever I want to do. There's I can do whatever I want to do. And then there's, oh, I can do whatever I want to do. This is crazy. But I think understanding what's helping me overhaul on grounding. I'm addicted to the ground right now. Because that's the only way that you will get through this. The funny thing is, she's actually on crutches.

Alex 39:17

That is hilarious. Yeah. You have one foot on the ground and one foot off. It's a metaphor for your life.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

Literally, it's actually a metaphor for my life. That is so funny. But I think it's understanding though, the one thing that I am understanding right now is that there actually is not much clarity in growth. I think the growth I was expecting this revelation and this whole like, oh my God, I'm growing and this is normal and this is healing for me, and this is all of these really beautiful things. And if anything, it's the complete opposite of that. It's been super messy, it's been super chaotic, it's been confusing, it's been ugly. Obviously, it's this little caterpillar kind of metaphor that everybody loves to use. Like you're this ugly kind of caterpillar and you blossom into this beautiful butterfly at some point. I'm not the butterfly yet, but I will say I'm just focused on the motion. I'm gonna be very LA with this. As long as I'm in motion, that is emotion. It's forward motion towards something. I had a conversation with my friend about this because she's oh my god, I feel like I'm going backwards. And I was like, backwards? You have an amazing job. But her backwards is I moved back in with my parents. But why did you move back in with your parents? Because you're saving for a house and she's like trying to get a condo in Newport Beach. You're gonna be living the dream in a year or two. Like the motion looks different, and yeah, you're back at home, but it's for a greater purpose. So I think just understanding that motion forward is the growth. You're not gonna have this aha moment where you're like, oh my god, amazing. I grew. No, no, it's ugly, messy, disgusting, and everything in between, but it's motion at all. And that's better than being stuck.

Alex 40:53

Yeah, I think it's all about the intention because some days I'm like, what am I doing? Where am I at? Some days I'm like, oh, I've come so far. I'm moving forward, I'm continuing to do things that I love. More things are being revealed to me. Some of it sucks that's being revealed, but at least I'm facing it and realizing, like, oh, I need to deal with this and moving forward to heal it. I think that's growth in itself. Like you said, it's like the little things society views them as setbacks, like moving back in with your parents. Maybe you quit your job to pursue what you've always wanted to. But at the end of the day, it's not a setback. It's preparing you for success in the future of what you've always wanted to do, and maybe that's your breakthrough, but you don't see it in the moment. Totally. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

Yeah. I recently ran into this marketing person that was talking about the

Growth Is Motion Plus One Percent

SPEAKER_01 41:50

1% everyday theory. And that's what growth is. It's not this zero to 100 thing. It's every day you're getting 1% closer to being that. Basically, what I got from that. I thought it was really interesting. There's a lot of companies in LA that are like branding this 1% thing. There's a smoothie shop, there's a coffee shop that said it. This guy was wearing a t-shirt that I saw. Everybody's like doing this whole like 1% every day. It's a big thing.

Alex 42:15

Oh cute. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

So I'm like.

Alex 42:17

New business idea. One thing about justice is the amount of business ideas this girl has. But that's growth. Oh, I love it.

SPEAKER_01 42:29

It's the friends that I want to be around. I've thrown the spaghetti at the wall so many different times. I wanted to do this and I wanted to have a coffee shop. But my thing is if you don't start, you'll never realize that it's not for you. Unfortunately, I don't have family then business in that way. I didn't go to business school. And so I think that this was the only way that I would have got to these like two really good ideas that I have. They're full-fledged businesses. I'm selling products to people. I swear they're safe. But yeah, it's like I wouldn't have got here if I didn't do all those things. So it's crazy.

Alex 43:00

No, that's what I love. I don't like this saying so much, but say it. Like a delusional confidence. And I have been trying to take that on more of like just for people looking from an outside in perspective, they're like, oh, you're delusionally confident. Like, you think that's gonna come true? And it's almost don't believe me. Just watch. It's gonna come true. And that's why I love you. I wouldn't say it's a delusional confidence because it might be. No, it's not. Just nothing is impossible for you. You're like, oh, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do this and this, and some things you don't do, but a majority of the things you do, and it's almost manifesting and putting things out into the universe and just having such a positive perspective of I can do this, why can't I? Like, I'm I remember you're like, I'm Justy Girl. Like I can do everything.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

My world. Literally. I said that yesterday. I was coming down the stairs with my crutches and a coffee in my mouth. My friend's like, they're talking about you and like how crazy it is. And I turned to them, I was like, I'm the best at everything. It was obviously a joke, but it's like that you have to walk around life like that. If you don't, like, and that's a gross thing, right? If you don't walk around talking about yourself like you're the best at everything, you're not gonna be. It's that simple. And yeah, I have had a lot of different ideas, and I think that if I didn't do them, like it was trial and error for me. Like if I didn't do all those other things, I would have never arrived to this destination. And that's what like life is all about, like the journey. A thousand percent. And so it's yeah, I love that. I I think it is a bit delusional.

Alex 44:27

But everything I'm gonna do, but honestly, my therapist, she's like, you need to embrace a delusional confidence. Almost it's basically inner child work. As a child, the mindset you have is everything's possible. When I grow up, I want to be an astronaut. You have no blockage from outside noise. And so it is more like an inner child confidence. Yeah. I don't like delusional confidence.

SPEAKER_01 44:52

Delusional is just the word. At the end of the day, it is the same thing. I think delusional kind of has this negative connotation, but it is a delusional confidence. And I I think the only successful people are the ones that have delusional confidence. Yeah, they are. So it's look at all these companies. Mark Zuckerberg got laughed at so much about Facebook.

Alex 45:07

And that's what I love about all my friendships. I would say like Haley, Carly. We sit down and we talk about really deep things. And there's never like a dull moment in our conversation because it goes from like business ideas to probably health remedies to conspiracies to pop culture. Yeah. There's depth and meaning to our conversation. It's always, oh, I want to do this. Okay, you can do it. Let's figure out how to make it work. It's not just sitting around and talking shit.

SPEAKER_01 45:36

I think we like our last conversation, like we always have to cut off our conversations. And I can't remember the last time. Well, I can't remember a time. Maybe that time in the house that we just sit and talk about people.

Alex 45:47

So there's always like shit around other things going on. I wouldn't even call it talking shit, but we were just talking about ourselves. Boy drama. I think boy drama is probably the shit talking that we would ever do. That's one thing I don't tolerate. Shit talking. I don't think talking shit and talking negatively about someone's character, then telling a story about something that happened and not ending it with she's a bitch. You can vent. There's a difference between venting and talking shit.

SPEAKER_01 46:14

I know my people that I can go to and be like, hey, I gotta tell you, just piss me off. But to just like attack someone's character.

Alex 46:20

Yeah, that's venting.

SPEAKER_01 46:21

Definitely not good. Yeah. It's useless as well. What are you getting out of that?

Alex 46:24

I know you mentioned earlier that somebody had told you that you had changed. Have you ever had someone tell you you've changed in a negative way whenever they're speaking to you?

SPEAKER_01 46:32

Yes. Really? It literally happened to me last night. I could show you the text. Look at this guy. This is literally last night. It's funny that you asked. You have changed. Wow. You have changed. Same guy, same energy, same

Delusional Confidence And Trying Things

SPEAKER_01 46:50

toxicity, just different me. This is someone that I used to like talk to, and we never like dated or anything. It was just one of those people that just floats in and floats out, and I'll entertain. I didn't even realize until he said that I was acting different.

Alex 47:04

That's amazing, though.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

Yeah, and that's the natural growth that I'm like, yes, I'm proud of myself because I was like, why would he say that I changed? And then I realized I'm so dry, I'm so not interested in having this conversation with him anymore. And it's because like I just You're just putting up a boundary. Yeah, this is just useless. You do the same thing every few months, you float in and then you float out. And I just, it's not even that I'm like wanting this to go one way or another with you. I just am like, what? Just done with the bullshit.

Alex 47:34

It's that simple. I do think it's because people prefer the version of you that they're used to. And whenever they start to see change, it disrupts their similarity.

SPEAKER_01 47:47

And that was the whole thing, right? Like when he told me you've changed, I was like, again, it didn't register to me immediately, but then after when I was thinking about it, I was like, of course I fucking changed. Why wouldn't I have changed? And the fact that you haven't changed is actually an issue. And like I'm scared now that you haven't changed. But like outgrowing people, situations, things like you are meant to change. The entire point of life is the fact that you are constantly evolving and turning into this beautiful butterfly that we keep talking about. It's like, why wouldn't you want to change? You're like, I haven't changed, I'm just not putting up with your bread crumbing. And then it's yeah, but that's the thing. Like this whole situation, it's not even like a guy I would like to date or anything like that. It's just like a person, like a friend that just like floats in and out. And I'm just like, we just don't need to talk. Like we have no relationship. Like, why would I entertain a conversation with you? And I love a good texting session. So the fact that I didn't want to entertain this, I was like, oh no, I'm changing now. Yeah. I just don't feel the need to have a pointless conversation with someone that I just used to love. And I think one of the other things is that when you have these kind of situations with people and they haven't changed, for me, like, I just, I don't know, unpopular opinion. I think when people don't change, it's not authenticity. I think you're just lazy. Change requires hard work. Change requires effort. Change requires self-reflection, digging deep. Change requires all the things that you probably don't want to do. I would know because I don't want to do them, but I do them. So I can change and be a better version of myself every day. So people who don't want to do that, I don't think it's because you're incapable. I don't think you're stuck.

Alex 49:19

You're lazy.

SPEAKER_01 49:20

You're fucking lazy. It's that simple.

Alex 49:21

You don't want to do the hard work because work is hard. Or you just simply don't want to change. You don't want to face a new version of yourself or become better because it's hard.

SPEAKER_01 49:32

I think it's like people don't want to change because they have to face things that are uncomfortable. And discomfort is hard to go through. Who likes to be uncomfortable? So that's what I'm saying. No matter how you look at it, changing is difficult. It's not easy. And so you're just lazy.

Alex 49:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:47

It's easier for you to continue down this path, to continue treating people a certain way. That is easier for you.

Alex 49:54

You're lazy. It's because the change that you're going through disrupts what they're familiar with. They don't like the new version of you because they were benefiting from the old version of you. Totally. If someone's benefited from the old version of you, then your growth is going to be uncomfortable to them and they're not going to support it. A huge red flag for me is when I'm around somebody that isn't supporting the growth or the healing that I'm supposed to do. And they almost are like, wait, why are you doing this? Or they question goals or something that you're setting. I'm like, this doesn't affect you. And if it does, then maybe you need to do self-reflection.

SPEAKER_01 50:37

I think my best advice for people like that is leave them where they're at, honestly. People that see the old version of you and they're no longer benefiting from that version of you, and then now they're like, oh my God, what's going on? That's someone who simply doesn't want to put any effort into their life either.

Alex 50:52

Okay, so whenever you're going through like this changing phase, this reinventing phase, I think it's often misinterpreted by your having to act like somebody that you're not, where you get to decide what comes next. And reinvention isn't about becoming someone else, it's about embracing what you've already become internally or who you strive to become. Yeah. And so your new rebrand may look like new routines, new habits, priorities, environments, new friendships. I don't think that reinvention is a costume change. I think it's alignment. So it's just aligning all those other factors in your life with who you're trying to be or who you're trying to become. One thing I did with Nora on our retreat is we had to write down almost like an alter ego. If I could look into the future or if I could become everything I want to be tomorrow, what would that look like? Like where would I live? What would I dress like? What would my name be? How much money would I make? How would I feel? Et cetera. And she's okay, now start to align the things that you're doing currently with how you get to become that person. And so I think that's the same as the reinvention thing to a smaller scale, but you have to start somewhere. And that's what also Mel Robbins said. Like if you're manifesting, people put on their vision boards. I want this huge beach house. And she's like, that beach house is gonna be on your vision board for the next four years because you're not manifesting the steps it takes to get that beach house. You're just putting the beach house on your vision board. So how are you gonna get the beach house? Okay, you want to start a company, you're gonna manifest being in the right rooms with the right people, prioritizing making a schedule or a plan, that business ideal. Now I'm ranting, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:50

No, I like that. I have a friend who's really good at that. Whenever I talk to her, she's telling me, Justice, you want to do the thing. So who is that person? What do they have for what do they have for breakfast? What did they do today? Did they go to the gym? Did they skip the gym? You have to craft yourself into that person you want to be in order to get to where you're going. If you want this beach house, what is the person who has the beach house? What does their life look like? What do they do every day? Do they work on their business four hours a day or do they skip it Monday through Friday?

Environment Is Destiny Choose Better Rooms

Alex 53:15

Obviously, like the routine, the priorities, and then with friendships, my 2026 thing is w what environments am I placing myself in? Am I spending the weekends going to bars or am I spending the weekends and placing myself in the environments I desire because that's where I'm gonna attract the people who I'm friends with.

SPEAKER_01 53:35

Yeah, totally.

Alex 53:36

And that are probably aligned where I'm at. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:39

Someone once told me this thing: environment is destiny. You don't rise to your goals, you fall to the standards of those around you. Yeah. That's exactly what you said. Yeah. True. Yeah. Like you don't rise to your goals, you fall to the standards of those around you. A bad environment, bad thing. My dad puts it very plainly. It is my favorite quote. If you hang out with an asshole, you're gonna be an asshole. If you hang out with the smart kids, you're gonna be a smart kid. My dad always told me, don't hang out with assholes. If you hang out with assholes, you're gonna be an asshole. If you hang out with smart people, you're gonna be a smart person. You decide.

Alex 54:13

And I think that's something like I'm guilty of being around people I want to help, or I feel like I'm like, oh, I can help you make a difference, or I can help you elevate. And it's not, we're not doing that anymore. I want to be in the room where we're elevating now. If you asked Alex this four years ago, five years ago, hell no, my ego would have gotten the way. I actually want to be the least successful person in the room. I want to be the one that's making the least amount of money. I want to learn. I'm not saying about every single thing because I don't want to manifest and put that out there, but I'm saying that I want to put myself in bigger rooms where I can learn and grow from people. And if for some period of time that means that I'm the least successful person in the room, okay. But I don't care. At least I'm around people that are doing shit. 50%.

SPEAKER_01 55:01

You know my life. You're good about it. Yeah, 99% of the time I'm the least successful person in the room. And just like my friendships, my everything. It's like even some people didn't even accomplish anything necessarily. I have a lot of friends who have like family fortunes and things that they're doing in Europe. And I learn so much from these people is ridiculous. And I'm authentically myself. I'm just like this little girl came from LA. I have big dreams. I'm doing this and that. And I think people love that.

Alex 55:30

You're really good at attracting people who are very successful and keeping those relationships.

SPEAKER_01 55:36

And it's important. And like I again, another thing from my dad. Thanks, Dad. Yeah. His thing was like, you belong in every single room. And that's why I think that's where that delusional confidence comes in. I encounter these people and I don't get intimidated and I don't retreat. I'm like, my name is Justice. This is what I'm working on, and we should be friends. And it obviously never starts with interest. I don't even know half these people who they are or anything. I'm just a friendly person. I can make friends with the fucking wall. But then I think that inevitably attracts people because I'm just myself. People can see this. People can see that you want to be that person in the room and they appreciate it. You're on the right track. Bush. If there's anything, I'm in the middle of transitioning. So if anything, I hope I comforted people who are watching this episode. If you're late 20s, early 30s, it doesn't even matter what age you are. I think we should probably just take age out of the whole change conversation. You are gonna constantly be

Trust Intuition And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_01 56:25

evolving. Always, constantly. And if you're not, that's when something is wrong. But I do think this specific period, because we are this age, is just like huge changes of the possibilities and all this stuff. So being a little bit shaky at the moment. I just hope that we got to encourage people today to understand that what you're going through is completely normal and super beautiful, if anything. You should be worried when you're not changing and when things aren't shifting in your life. I guess that's the encouragement piece. And then if I were to have any weight whatsoever to give people advice, it would just be to be still. Sometimes you have to let life unfold, but also be proactive at the same time. And that sounds very counterintuitive, but I think it's possible. It's like emulating your nervous system. But it's like taking action, but also allowing life to unfold is a skill, and it's a very difficult skill to possess. But I think that's how change is facilitated the most.

Alex 57:24

And I think that comes with trust. Whenever you start, you continue to grow and heal, and that's when you start gaining this trust within yourself. Trust your intuition, trust what your body's telling you. If you feel off about somebody, trust that intuition. If you start to feel sick, trust your body that it's starting to break down.

SPEAKER_01 57:50

You know what I mean? And if you believe in whatever, like the universe or God or something bigger than yourself, trust those things too.

Alex 57:56

Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 57:58

This was so fun. And I think this is a really important topic. I think this is a very popular topic among a lot of people our age. I think the crazy part is I also had the same thing going on when I was like 20. It was like I just got out of college. Where am I gonna go now? What am I gonna do? They figured it out. I had an amazing last eight years or whatever. So just trust the process.

Alex 58:16

At the end of the day, nobody has it figured out. The most successful people in the world don't have it all figured out, they're constantly evolving and reinventing themselves. But if you are even listening to this, then you have some sort of feeling that you want or you're going through this reinvention stage. And so that in itself is something to be proud of. And again, go with the flow. Listen to your intuition. Yeah. And have good friends around you that you feel safe enough with to talk about this will help you get through it because I think that's super important too. Environment is everything. Environment. Yeah. All right. Thank you for having me. Thank you guys for listening to another entry of the Dry Diaries. We'll see you next week. Bye.