Dear Christian Girl Podcast
The Dear Christian Girl podcast is a podcast for christian girls who are trapped in performance-based Christianity and want to really break free to live a life that genuinely pleases God.
Dear Christian Girl Podcast
God Is Still Good Even When Life Isn't Going As Planned
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I sit down with filmmaker, author, content creator, and "queen of starting over" Joyful Adenike for a conversation that moves between laughter and real grief sometimes in the same breath.
Joyful opens up about what it actually takes to keep building when everything you've worked for has to be torn down. From growing (and regrowing) an Instagram following from scratch, walking away from platforms that stopped serving her purpose, and the fear that shows up every single time she starts over, even now.
We talk through one of the hardest parts of her story: losing her baby at six months, and what it meant to keep saying "God is good" when nothing about that season felt good.
This podcast is hosted by Mo!
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Also got in that place of realizing that the goodness of God is not tied to any individual situation. God being good is is like what they say, what's your name? He said my name is my name is good. Good is who it is. Things are not happening to me, they are happening for me. You see, when things happen to us, we immediately you see, I just said it again. When things happen, we immediately take ownership of those things. I increase the intensity of the laughter. If my laughter is burning somewhere else, when they are hating on each other, so I don't put out hate content, I put out joy and love and you know happiness. So I'm driving over, I'm doing it joyfully. I'm taking care of my son, I'm doing it joyfully. I'm going through a season, I'm paying off debt, I'm doing it joyfully.
SPEAKER_01Today on the Dear Christian Girl Podcast, I'm very excited because I am joined by the amazing Adenike Adi Bayo Esho, popularly known as Joyful Adenike. Joyful is a filmmaker, a director, a producer, and she's known for creating compelling and impactful stories. She's the creative mind behind films like Summer Rain and Chemistry. Adenike is a wife, a mom, a creative. She's the author of Azika, she's a coach, she's an MC, and honestly, this woman wears so many hats and she wears them beautifully. Joyful is also the queen of starting over, and I've been following her for a long time now, and I've seen her just build her um, you know, she had an Instagram platform where she built to over 164,000 followers, you know, and she made the bold step to start over, and her new page has over 61,000 followers in a very short time, you know, of starting over. She has also built um you know her YouTube page three times. I remember you know, she started um the page where she used to review movies and critique movies, and she grew that page to over 42,000 subscribers. Then she started her second channel, uh, and she grew that page to over 40,000 subscribers, you know, and now her newest channel, Joyful Adenica, is growing rapidly again. And Joyful is a woman that truly embodies faith, creativity, courage, starting over. She's such an inspiration, and I'm so happy to have you here, Joyful. Thank you so much for joining me today on the Dear Christian Girl Podcast. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much for having me. That that introduction, please. You need to be a copy. I need to print it, I'll put it on my wall so that whenever I'm having those moments that I'm sure we always have, I can just put it on my wall and just say, okay, calm down. It's okay. But sometimes you forget, you know, how far you've come, how far God has brought you. And so, yeah, well, thank you for such a beautiful introduction.
SPEAKER_01You're welcome. So, the interesting thing about your intro, I told I went to Google, you know, on Google, and I said, you know, I was just doing some research and all that. I'm like, you know what? I've actually followed this woman for a long time. So let me write her introduction. Let me write it, you know, based on what I know about her. So, yes, I'll go and I'll send you a copy.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. Yes, please. I really do mean it. Thank you. That was beautiful. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Thank you again for joining me. So I'm just interested in learning about your background. I know that you are vocal about your faith, and um, I want to know did you grow up as a Christian? Did you have Christian parents? Did you grow up in a Christian home? If you can just walk us through that journey, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I grew up in a Christian home. Um, my parents attended CAC in Nigeria if you're familiar with the night the different um churches in Nigeria than you'd know of CAC. So that's where I was born and raised. But by the time I was like seven, I found my own way to a church that I preferred. Uh it wasn't it wasn't affiliated with it, was it wasn't it's not pressed to contact press the contact still um but but I just it was a lot closer to our house. I lost their services, the singing, they had a children's choir, and I was like, Oh mommy, this is where I'll start going. And my mom was like, Okay, and I'm going with my mom one time, she liked this as well, so occasionally she would go there, but I just got immersed into the word of God, the Bible. So I've at every point in my life, I've I've always worked with God. Now, does that mean I was always the ideal child? No, um, but but um you know I I I've always hovered around around the word of God and just understood that I needed to do in order to do life basically, you need to have a relationship with God, and so yeah, I've always known God from quite a young age.
SPEAKER_01Wow, that's interesting that your mom actually allowed you to try it out, try out another child because I know that's not well that's I know friends who you know have decided to leave their parents' church and it caused a lot of drama, you know. So it's interesting, yes, it's interesting, and especially at that young age, that she was like, Okay, you know, let's let's try it out.
SPEAKER_00They were just happy that I was going to church because I'm the last of five kids, but of all my siblings, at the time I was the only one that was really like really passionate about the things of God, going to church, singing, dancing, doing drama, and all those things, you know, and all of that was in church. So I think they were just left to them, they were just happy that it started church, you know. So, so yeah, they were very happy, and it wasn't somewhere that was far from the house, it was where I could walk to, you know. Back in the day we could go out by ourselves and it was fine on like what the times look like now. So, yeah, I guess I took it for granted because they didn't blink about it, but yeah.
SPEAKER_01Wow, so when did you start taking your walk with God very seriously? Like, do you remember?
SPEAKER_00Um secondary school definitely, you know, getting into secondary school, uh, all the clubs I belonged to were. I remember there was a club I was a part of Heaven Citizens. We did a lot of singing, dancing, we held like shows at the end of each year, and it was both sing and dance and do Bible verses and other things, and then I was in the choir as well. So, so I've always kind of like known God, you know. So there are things that happen in my adult life now, and I'm just like that. Maybe the grace of when I was necessary that I was still benefiting from, you know, uh that God is to say, ah this girl, you know. So when the Bible says, serve the Lord your God in the days of your youth, you know what it was talking about because then I was passionate, and it's not like it's not that I'm not now, but now I'm an adult, I have responsibilities, there are all these things of I'm doing this, I'm doing that, there are all these distractions. But when you're a child, when you're young, and all you have to worry about is nothing, just you know, do whatever you're told to do in school and all of that, and then you know, so I don't know. I think I always took it, but where I really began understanding, like began developing an in-depth relationship with God would I'd say during my NYSC when I joined my church, Havel South Christian Center in Ibadon, Nigeria. Yes, I began attending Avest House Christian Center that's it's pastored by Reverend Bimini Eboda, and that was just I remember the first time I attended. It was funny. Let me tell you that it's funny how I began attending that church. Let me tell you because it's very interesting. The night before I was seven, right? So bunch of us coppers in the bad dog were always hanging out at the jar. We had a house party then the night before. I so one of us had like a full apartment himself and all of that, so we'll constantly hang out there. We had a party the night before. We were there hanging out, so like 3 a.m. I hadn't been to church for I think two Sundays prior to that weekend. So I'd already told myself that I'm going to church tomorrow. Even though at that time I didn't have a church in Madame. So uh we parted till like 3 a.m. It was so late, went to bed. I was like, today, today, I'm going to church. So even though I woke up late and everything, I so now um my friend had I think I'd gone with my friend one time to Harvest South Christian Center, just once, you know. And no, no, no, no, wait. I'm getting the story mixed up, and I don't want to lie. No, no, we had details. Yes, yes. So so we parted, we had never been to Harvest South Christian Center until then. But so it was that weekend, I was like, okay, I must go to church today. So I told my friend, I said, I want to go to church, you know. So she was like, okay, let's go to her church. And we went back to my place, showered at my place, got dressed and everything, and then we went to our church because it was closer to mine. I think half of the service I was asleep, honestly, because I kept dozing off. But there was just something about the word that I got. There was something such that the following Sunday, I called my friend, I said, Let's go to your church. She said, Ah, she's not going to church today. I said, Well, okay, me, I'm going to go. I went by myself. Let me tell you, I I didn't look back. From then, that began there were a shift. It was like a new dimension of understanding, you know, of the word of God, of who God is, of who he is to me, and all those things. And that that was that was when I remember when I would go back home to see my parents, and I'll be saying some things, and they'll just be looking at me like you know, when there is a shift, when you've met with God, it shows basically. So, yeah, I'll say that was when I really entered a different realm of my relationship with God.
SPEAKER_01Wow, do you remember the word that was preached?
SPEAKER_00No, I don't, I was half asleep because I was, I mean, I parted the night before, so I was I was dozing off and off and on, and but something interesting happened. I think you know, when Reverend Yemini Abada was preaching, he and it was quite a small church at the time at the time. Now it's a big church. But at the time, when he was preaching, he had asked a question that he wanted someone in the congregation to answer, and nobody was answering. And it was like, is he has a gift if anyone answers, and eventually someone raised their hand and they answered, and it was the right answer, and he took off his wristwatch, which I think was quite expensive at the time, and he gave it to the person. And you know, I was like, I'm coming from CSC, coming from uh Baptist, because I attended Bowen University. It was so I'm coming from like a baptiser. I'm like, wait, we used to do like this inside church. So that was when I woke up and it became a lot. I was like, whoa, what's going on here? You know, yeah. Then I went back the following Sunday, and the word was just something about the word. I don't remember the exact message, but yeah, that was the beginning of my journey.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's interesting, and you've never looked back, you're still never going strong.
SPEAKER_00Never looks back. It doesn't mean I never strayed.
SPEAKER_01I wanted to say that, like, you have audacity, and like you share a lot of things that many people are afraid to share. In fact, I'm reminded of an example. I had shared a video, I think, three years ago, about how God healed me from high blood pressure, and I remember when I shared that video, like a one-minute video. I got you know, some you know, family members who watch and stuff. Like, isn't that so personal? Like, why are you sharing that story? And I said, See, I've never done anything like this before, but I know what I heard. I was led to share this video, and to date, that video on YouTube is one of the videos that I still get comments comments from, I still get emails about it. Thank you for sharing this video. God just healed me from high blood pressure. As I was watching this video, I felt healing. Please pray for me to be healed from my so many testimonies of healing from high blood pressure from that video. And I'm like, hmm, sometimes if you if you listen to what people are saying, you will just miss road. Now, listen of so far, you are being led, obviously, by God. Like, how do you deal with negative comments sometimes? Especially if it's maybe from a family member.
SPEAKER_00My husband and I have been married for over eight years now. Maybe once did I have to take a post down, not because it did not agree with it, but because other people were stressing him. Do you get what I'm saying? And I was just like, okay, I'll archive the post, and that was that for it. But out of love and you know, of course, respect and dedication to my marriage and all of that, and to just and my husband was like, just that muddy, you know, I was like, okay, you know, and I did that, but um, again, I don't does it affect me sometimes, you know. Sometimes I get moody. The other day, someone just said, Oh, how are you? And I was about to start crying. You know, that was just last night. I was like, Why am I getting emotional? Because during the day, I had dropped my phone and it fell and the screen broke. Oh, yeah, you know, and I remember when it happened, and I was now I'm going off of answering your question again, but I'm just saying all of this to say so many things happened. You know, that happened, and I just sat and I was and I'd gotten a good news before that happened. I was like, the devil is trying to steal my job. It's a lie, I'm not gonna be so sad. It's a phone, you know. So I just I didn't stay there long, maybe five minutes, ten minutes. I was like, it is what it is, you know, and then I moved and I told my husband, I was sad when I told him, I was like, I'll still post the video like that. I just got a small clip, the video will not go to waste. So I I I get I get moody, I get sad sometimes. I get like I ask like God, it's not time, you know. Don't you think? You know, but I don't I don't I don't know also I don't get a lot of hate comments too. Because I don't put hate content out. Yeah, that's true. Your comment section is love and light. It's love and light. If they have hates, they keep it to themselves because see, I posted the video now of where my phone fell, and I went to my Facebook page, and some people were saying, Ah, sorry, but you didn't laugh now. I was waiting for you to laugh so I can laugh. Like, how many people said that? And I was like, I also my phone fell and say I didn't laugh. Well, people are like, I've gotten that comment so many times, like like I'm just here for you to laugh. Like your laughter makes me happy, your laughter makes me smile, and I'm just like, wow, wow, you know, guess what? I've had someone say to me, I laugh too much. That when I laugh, it annoys them. Like they said it to my face. Yes, they said it to my face. It was someone that booked a coaching session, you know. I they said now that I mean they understand, but that initially they were like, why should always laugh? I said, eh, I increase the intensity of the laughter. If my laughter is body, you laugh by somewhere else. So they are hating on each other. So I don't put out hate content, I put out joy and love and you know, happiness. So I'm driving over, I'm doing it joyfully. I'm taking care of my son, I'm doing it joyfully. I'm going through a season, I'm paying off debt, I'm doing it joyfully. You know, I'm just I'm just happy, you know, because I know that there is so much to be joyful for, to be grateful for, you know, and I don't I don't let the hate comments or the occasional side comments or whatever the looks get to me, and I just keep my eyes on the price.
SPEAKER_01I love it. I love it. And speaking about your laughter, your laughter is contagious. In fact, I I said I was gonna talk about it. I love your laughter. I was trying to mimic it, but it's so contagious. Yes, please increase the intensity. I should, I should, yes, thank you for always spreading joy. Um, so I know that you did a post um towards the end of last year, and you have been very vulnerable, you know, about sharing, you know, some of the challenges that you went through in 2025, I I believe, um, you know, from Netflix pulling down chemistry, you know, and um um the you know paying back credit cards. Um, you know, you also shared about you know a very, very sensitive topic, even though when I watched the video, I'm like ah joyful. The way you share, like you just you just you just shared it, and I'm like very joyfully, if I if I can add that, you know, and uh just you know, talking sharing about your miscarriage, and it that's very heavy stuff, you know. And there's something I always hear you say, you say God is good, and if God allowed it, he will use it. I like I always hear you say it, and I'm like, ha, what kind of person is this? Like, you know, going through all of that, and you still come out to declare that God is good. How did you get to that um conviction? How did you arrive at that point to declare God good despite you know life's challenges?
SPEAKER_00You know, um, it wasn't even a least carriage, it was it was a stupid because I was six months. I was six months, I was six months pregnant. I was six months pregnant. Um they had said they could get us a picture, but um but by the time um I came awake, they said that uh that they couldn't get us a picture, but that they could get a picture of the baby's feet. So I still have it. My husband looked at it once and never again. Um it's in an envelope. Right here. But I mean, you know, I I came to the realization. I was I don't even know I came to the realization. I was okay, I drew. I drew. I'm trying to process my thoughts at this point. I uh you know, I went through so much pain. I went through um I had to keep that video sh very short because I didn't want to start going into the depth of it because I was like because also because my husband just wanted me to share it and you know he didn't want us, he didn't want people feeling sorry, saying giving pity. He didn't want that, and I didn't want that as well. So he just wanted it to be quick, you know. He watched he actually watched the video before I posted it and it was like, okay, yeah, daddy said this is good for us to post. Um I I went through it was a very painful, I was consumed by my pain. And because I had responsibilities, I didn't have there was I didn't have time to deal with the pain and to confront the pain. So I just kept going and I was just you know um just going and going. And then I got to a point where I was like inside, I was imploding, you know, and I knew it was going to manifest outside, and I knew that I was drowning because of the type of thoughts I began having. And I it was when those thoughts were now becoming getting heavier and heavier and becoming um more often that I was I just I was like, I I need to I need God because for me, like I said, I've I'm my goal, whatever, whatever, but I've I I I don't know how to do life without God. So even though I was angry with God and you know I went away for a while and I couldn't pray and all of that, I'll still sit in his presence. I might listen to music and cry, and I might not cry and I might not pray and I might not say a word, but I was just there. But it was when it began consuming me that I went to God and I said, This pain is consuming me. I need you to take it away. You know, that became that that became my prayer point. I said, you know, it's it's consuming me and I and I hate it, you know, it's stealing my joy. I'm I'm losing my zeal, you know, and you know, I take this pain away, God, take this pain away. And it was that period that I left social media completely for that duration, picked up playing tennis, began cooking more, I was spending more time with my husband. It was just like if my husband loved it, that's it, and was like, ah, this is my wife, yeah, yeah, it's it is that's all I love it. And I wasn't working, I didn't have a job at the time, so I just uh dedicated the the time to my family and to just getting rejuvenated and so, and it was in that process that I came back out with you know, I have to start start again on a new platform, and I remember the first day I was going to the day I was going to do my first post on the first of. July 2025 was when I got a word, like I got my word very clearly. I remember I ran to my husband, I said, I got a word from God. I said, I've never gotten a word this clearly, you know, that I have this word and I'm going to hold on to it. And you know, I also got to that place of realizing that um the goodness of God is not tied to any individual situation. God being good is is like what what they say, what's your name? He said, My name is my name is good. Good is who he is. I had to come to that realization that my film is not on Netflix, does not stop God from being good. You know, we lost our baby at six months, does not stop God from being good. You know, my film did not break the box office in Nollywood, does not stop God from being good. You get what I'm saying? So I had to come to that realization that you know God is not good because I bought a car. God is good even when I did not buy a car. You know, God does not stop being good because I did not get the job. God is still good, you know, even when what I want is not what happens. God is still good, you know. And I I you know, people say we go again. That's they say jokingly, but for me, it's just that I remember when I got the news that you know summarine didn't get acquired by Netflix, and I cried. And then I cried on that call, and then when I got and no, I was still on the call, I dried my tears on that call, and I was like, we'll make another one. Yeah, I was like, I was hurt, you know, I was disappointed. I was like, not see. There was something my friend said. Now she laughs every time I say it because she just said it casually. But when when chemistry, you know, when it happened and Netflix dropped it and all of that, and I was heartbroken. I I cried, I cried. And she said to me, she said, chemistry is not your promised land. I said it's it was as if someone rang a bell in my head. Because for me, this is it. I have a right, my film is going on Netflix. And then at the last minute, it got yanked. It got yanked, and my friend said to me, it's not your promised land. You know, it's not this is not the height of God's greatness, it's not your life, you know. And that completely shifted my perspective. Like, okay, it didn't work. We grew again. We made some marine. It happened like that with Samarine. You know, the best I can do is learn from those experiences. Okay, what can I do? Next, and then just trust in the goodness of God, in the faithfulness of God. That even though he did not give me what I wanted, he always, always, always, always gives me what I need. He God is good. He, you know, I said to my husband the other day, I said, we have never been stranded. Never. Never. Even in oh, we are paying off debt, we're doing, we've never had to borrow. Hey, you don't understand. I did not work for our home as you know, I mean, we're working hard, and it's my husband's desire that go and do whatever you want to do. You will show that everything. That's his desire, you know. But we're not there yet, you know. So I've always also had to work and you know, contribute and do all of that joyfully. And I mean, it's it's it was important for you know for us to be able to come together and you know take care of the home and you know all of that. But even in even in doing that, you know, we don't we don't lose sight of the fact that God is good though. And God is God is doing something. So when I did not work for a year, because the complications, I was away, she didn't came back to pregnancy, pregnancy complications, all of that. Yeah, I didn't, I wasn't earning, and he was doing his best and doing his best. One way or another, I was still contributing to the household finances. You know, I was still able to pay my share of the bills and do this and do that. Like, you know, we we we were we have never been stranded, you know. And so when I pray, I pray that we will never be stranded. It was a big prayer, it was something I learned from my pastor, Pastor Webini, but I wonder if I can still call him my pastor because I've not spoken to him in so long. But one time we went out, it was visiting the US, and we went out together and to to a restaurant, and I drove. And I did not have my car. I was driving in 1999 Nissan Ultima White, so it was an old car. So we went and and I when we came out, the car would not start. Apparently, I'd left the lights on, and so the battery drained, and it was cold. This was in Oklahoma City, and it was like, Oh, dad, do I have a jump car cave? I said, I don't have all so some people drove in and was like, Oh, I should go ask them if they have them. Well, I was like, how can I go? So in the middle, I was like, I don't know, I don't know. He just went and he asked them, and they did, and they were like, Oh, yeah, they can jump in for us, and you know, they they jumped a car for us and all that. And I looked at him and I said, Wow, and he looked at me, and one, he wasn't faced, and then two, it was like said, he said, I said I can never be stranded. Do you know what I said? You know, he said it with such conviction. You know, I remember that same was it that same trip, or I know no, I think it was another trip that I he I went shopping with him. He wanted to buy some things, and then he gave me $100 and said, This was by the way, to everyone hearing this, this was over 10 years ago. Went to the mall with him, gave me $100 to go get him something. So I learned I lost $100. I like I can't remember last time I lost money. Do you get like I lost the hundred dollars? I do not know how to go back and meet him and say I lost it. I was not working up and now he was now waiting for me, looking for where is this girl? Where's this girl? I was walking eventually. When I saw when he saw me, I was crying. He said, What happened? What happened? What happened? It was so terrified. It was like, what happened? I said, I lost the hundred dollars that I gave him. He said, He said, That's why I'm crying. You know, when he was leaving, he gave me another hundred dollars. He said, keep it. You know, he said, you don't you don't understand, like that you don't attach like those are not the things that should take your joy away, you know. And again, like it is, I mean, shout out to everyone here about that is is it impacted me so much, you know. And again, that's why I say that season really grew my faith in Christ. So that's why I when I got to that point though, where all of these things were happening, I was listening heavily to Pastor Emisi Ovu Olaby of uh Hope Nation. Oh, you know her, yes and Pastor Lumide uh Olabi of Hope Nation Church in Lagos, Nigeria. I was listening to their messages, and let me tell you it was from Pastor Lumide that I learned if God did not cause it, if God did not stop it, God will use it. When I heard that, I say, you don't mean it. I heard God say, you know, and you know, and and I just there was an in inward conviction of the fact that you know what, I'm just going to keep moving, that whatever happens to me, you know, whatever happens, God is good. Now let me say this because I know I've been talking for a while, but I I also want to add that it was recently that I learned that things are not happening to me, they're happening for me. You see, when things happen to us, we immediately you see, I just said it again. When things happen, we immediately take ownership of those things and say, Oh, why is this thing happening to me? Why is this thing happening to me? Why is this thing happening to me? Why why me? Why me? Why we immediately take ownership of it, and not for once do we ask, okay, why is this happening for me? You know, because it was in the course of me sharing about driving Uber and all of these things that a friend of mine, um, I wish I could say his name because it's quite popular, but I can't because it swore me to secrecy and sent me some money as well. He sent me some money and so saw me to secrecy because he's much popular than I am. And he said to me, he said, you know, he sent me some money, and then he said that that he also wants to shift my perspective on this thing that I'm doing, this journey that I'm on, and how I am sharing, that it needs me to understand that whatever I have gone through that is making me to share now that it's not about me. He said it in your bar, but you know, I know we have a diverse audience, but he said that that maybe there is someone in bondage, maybe there's someone that is stuck in a situation, maybe there's someone that is that God is trying to deliver, and God knows that if Adenike does not share this thing, this person will not be delivered, or it is Adenike that this person watches, this person listens to this girl. So if Adenike shared this thing, this person will hear, and this person will take a step that will deliver them. When I heard that, I was like, My God, my god, my god, I had not thought about it that way. I'd just been selfish. Oh, why this happened to me or this happened? So now I go through life and I see it as things are happening for me. God is making things happen for me, you know. You know, it is for my own good because he knows the end from the beginning. So if he has not given me a billion dollars now, it is not because he does not trust me with a billion dollars. What is it trying? He knows how the story ends, you know. You know, so I trust God enough to know that he has my best interest at heart, yeah. So that is how that is why I will keep saying to you that God is good. Check this out. My phone broke yesterday. I posted it, I was sad, you know, I was looking at the phone, listening at iPhone. I've been trying to manage it, and then I was like, Oh, let me go into my DMs because I get a lot of DMs, but like it was so overwhelming sometimes. I don't get to check everything. I was like, Oh, let me check some DMs, and I was responding to some DMs showing some DMs, and I saw a DM someone had sent me on the 2nd of January telling me, Oh, they feel led to send me something. Second yesterday was the 30th. I did not maybe I saw it or I missed it or something, something. I just you know, because I it's faster, I'm sure you know, even from texting me, for me, it's faster for you to send me an email because I'm constantly on my computer. I'm more on my I believe I'm more on my computer than I am on my phone, actually. So it's easier for me to just as I'm on my computer, I jump in your my email, I've responded than it is for me to text back. So I saw the message and I was like, ah, I didn't know. Why did you send me an email? You know, and and I responded to the email, and the person responded, my game was so happy, and I was just like, Look at God. Do you get what I'm saying? So when I say God is good, I'm just you know, I was like, see, I don't know how it's explaining that God is inherently good. Goodness is who it is now. I know that people might feel like, oh, it's easy for you to say, no, it's not, no, it's not, but I also know that life can be challenging. I'm not ignorant of the fact that you know things happen and things are like things happen to people that will make them say get out of here with what you're saying. You know, I remember someone said to me when we lost our baby that uh that oh uh their first response, the first thing they said is uh God's will be done. Oh I wanted to, you know, but I'm very like I said, I'm very aware enough for me to say that for me. I just said uh amen. Okay, then I went to another friend of mine and I went to rant to that friend, and I was like, Okay, am I being sensitive? Because why will you say something like this to me, you know? And then my friend was able to help me separate like my thoughts. Like, I get that I understand what that person that what that person was trying to say, but that's not probably not how they should have said it, and so for I'm saying that I've been in that place to where I did not want to hear it, even though in my heart I knew it. But I just I can only say that you know, just keep holding on to God, even in those moments, even in those times, you know, just hold on to God, just find a way, don't run away from God. A lot of us run away from God when we're going through such seasons in our lives, and let's not run away from God, let's run to Him, let's stay with Him, let's allow Him comfort us and heal our hearts, and you know, and just help us bring up help bring us out of it. Wow, wow, I can't talk.
SPEAKER_01I love it. I think it's a thing with lawyers. I think it's a thing with lawyers.
SPEAKER_00Well, I hope like with everything I'm saying, it is you know, reaching someone and there is badness in it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yes. Um, first of all, I'm very sorry for the loss of your child. Like that's very heavy, you know, and um for you to still be able to come out here and say God is good, it's it takes a lot because it's a different situation if you haven't gone through life's challenges and you come and you're like, Oh, God is good, and you're saying God is good, God is good. Let small breeze shake you first, you know. That's when we know if your conviction is truly standing. You know, you are here today saying that, and I know that what you have said will bless and heal a lot of people because you know, people go through things that are not even half as much as what you've been through, and they feel very destabilized, it's still their joy, and you are here saying this, you know. I'm I'm I'm very happy to hear that. And you also just shared about you know the perspective of um this is happening for me. That is such a rich mindset to have, and it's even helping me because you know, when things happen, you just get like sometimes you like to feel that pity, that victim, and you're just sad, and apart from victim pity, you're just sad, like it's life, you have emotions, right? But having that change of mindset that things are happening for me, and it's bigger than me, it's for someone, yeah, because you don't you've you've inspired so many people, you've helped so many people, including me, you know. So just knowing that this is not it's bigger than me, it's more than me, you know. Um, that is such a rich mindset to have, and thank you, you know, for sharing. And I was gonna touch on friendships a little bit and being stranded because and I'm like, ah wow, she's covered it because I was gonna say, did God send help to you in that season? That season where you were feeling like feeling down, did God send help through friends, through strangers, you know, and you said it like God never leaves me stranded. So I'm sure God sent ravens to help you in that season.
SPEAKER_00Beyond my expectations. I mean, I still told you out of yesterday as well, beyond my expectations, beyond my imagination. You know, God God raised help, even from places, especially from places I did not expect it. Especially from places I did not expect it. You know, um, thankfully, you know, to the glory of God, I'm surrounded by God-loving friends, friends that will pray with me, go friends that will cry with me. Like, it's help, help, help, help from strangers, from strangers I've never met. Like, like God is good. God is good. I received help. My husband and I received received, we continue on a daily basis to receive help. And I also make an effort to pay it forward as well. Now, I don't share this on on my social media because I you know, with particularly Instagram and uh TikTok, it's easy to attract that attention of oh, me too, and I didn't I didn't want that, but and I've I've never posted it. A few times I've thought about that. Maybe I should share, but I've never known how to post about it, but I also like I don't keep it to myself. Do you guess? Like, even in this season, I also stretch forth my hands, you know, to to to other people that I know, you know, need it as well, as much as I can. Yeah, yes. So good, so God is good, God is faithful. What did you want to talk about as regards friends?
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes. So, yes, um, friendships. Like, did you have friends? Did you lose friends during that season? Because I've had a lot of people say when they go through tough times, you know, sometimes they lose friends. Do you lose friends? Or um, yeah, I'm interested in or are you also an expressive person? Like, do you let your friends into what's happening in your life, or do you push your friends away in that season? I just wanted to know how you sort of navigated your friendships in that season.
SPEAKER_00Um, I lost friends, yes. I lost a friend, I almost lost another one, but it was two of them um handled it and responded differently. Um so I pulled myself, my friends in. You know, I'm a I'm I'm expressive, but I like to read on my own time. Like when I want to share, I'll share, you know. Like if you call me, say I say I'm fine. Oh, tell me what there's nothing that is going on. I'm fine. What do you want to do that thing? I ate, I went to work, I I'm fine, you know. But one of my friends at the time did not get it. What that I mean, I told her what happened and all of that, and you know, I was just trying to move out in that city. I had no told her. She knew, of course, as everything went, and then and then eventually, and she had reached out a cute a few times, you know, Mr. Call, I'll call you back, you know. Um, eventually, when we got to talk, she she got upset. I remember I was driving, you know, I was like, oh, let me call this person, and and just finally she picked and we got talking, and she got upset that I wasn't calling her back, that she didn't know what was wrong with me, she was so right. I said, excuse me, excuse me, who did something happen to who is like I don't understand. And I remember I was crying on the call, I got so upset, and then got off the call, and then I called another friend of mine, and I was telling the other friend, and the other friend had known of how some of my friends responded to the situation, and and I'm trying not to use a gender, and that friend said that I don't like how your friends are treating you in this season. Why you today I have forgiven now I've forgiven my friend, but he oh, I don't gender out to consider, but he, you know, he is not he's still a bit like sad towards the because yeah, it's just he doesn't he said I don't I don't like how your friends treated you in this season at all. They didn't they didn't handle it well. Now, I mean that friend we've we've talked repeatedly. Apologize, I've also apologize, you know, because emotions are high, but this is this is my grief. You have to allow me to bring it out the way I want to bring it. I'll talk to you when I want to talk to you. If I don't want to talk to you, then I don't. It's not because I don't love you, it's not because there is no amount of talking that can change what has happened, you know. And there's only so many, I'll call you. Will I call you, talk to you, call you, talk to you, call you. Like let me go do Zoom call. All of us will talk about it one time, you know, because it's not like it's particularly easy, and this was like just a month or two after it happened. Now it's been over a year, so now I can laugh about it and I can talk about it. But at the time it was just barely a month or two, you know. So yeah, but the other friend, if it wasn't handled well, it wasn't the you know, there were they were you I'm very I say that this thing that no matter how angry I get, I with anyone, let alone someone I love, I there are some things I would never say because I know I'll never be able to take it back, you know, no matter if the thought enters my head, and that's why I do a lot of processing when when I'm talking, you know, when I no matter how angry I am, or you know, I might keep quiet just because I don't want to speak in the in the heat. And it also I also use it in my marriage as well. I'm just very I'm very deliberate because I know that when you say it it's forever and ever, no matter the amount of apology, and you bring the heaven found, whatever that person is never going to forget, unless maybe they suddenly get amnesia, whatever. But but they will never forget, you know, and the parts of them will constantly be hurt, you know. So uh I I've had I had things that were said to me that I couldn't believe the person would not just not only have that thought but open their mouth to say such things to me. There was a voice message that was even sent that I did not listen to today. I haven't listened to that voice message, but two of my friends, you know, three of my friends of my other friends listened to it, and they all said, do not listen to it. That do not listen to it, and I did it, so I still don't know what was said, but just to protect me and to protect my mind, you know, but like but even before that voice message, so many things I did to me called certain things, you know. And I just and then it just makes me step back and say the the most important relationship human relationship I have is with my husband. Even my husband does not talk to me like this. So do you get what I'm saying? So I'm like, even my husband has never in the entirety of we are we met, we know each other, we dated, we are married. He has never spoken to me like that. So I I will not entertain this type of relation, toxic relationship. Like you don't, there's nothing I've done, nothing I've said that should warrant me being in this, so you know, I've forgiven, you know. Obviously, I can't forget because I'm human, you know, but like I'm not holding it. I mean, we talk occasionally, but it's not what it was before, and that is absolutely okay because I take ownership of whatever misunderstanding, whatever actions I might have taken, I might have created some sort of misunderstanding. But I know no matter how angry I got, there were some things I you know never say, and so I just so yes, I I lost a friend in the process, you know, but I think it was also just a part of the old pruning that was happening, the part of the shedding that was happening because for every season you enter when you're entering a new season, when God when when when you're when God is birthing a new season in you, you know, you shed it's not everything, it's not everyone, it's not that will follow you into that new season. So you shed. So there was a shedding that was taking place in that in that in that season of my life, and that I just I just trust God to know that okay, that was a part of it, you know, for just preparing me for the next level, you know. So it's not it happens, you know, but again, friendship go, friendship come. If I Ishmael did not go, Isaac cannot come. So I'll be how do you say it was not until Ishmael left that Isaac began manifesting. So that is it, it's not be today. Things on the go come. So so yeah, it is all to the glory of God. Lessons learned, so that of course, you know, you don't make the same mistakes again. We treat our friends better. We'll I I treat my friends better, I'm more clear with my friends and all of that. Boundaries are set and all those things. Um, but then you know, we just live, we learn, and then we just as long as we are doing better. That's what it is.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, how how do you give your friends grace? Like, I'm trying to phrase this question properly. How um, like, how do you let your friends know how you want to be supported? Maybe when you're going through a tough time, because I know that with some of my friendships as well, that has happened. Like, I'm the type of person I want to be in your space, I want to call you. I want to what's going on? What's going on? Why are you not picking my call? Like, you know, I want to be there for you, and sometimes some of your friends are just like, I need space. Just let me be, you know, for now while I figure this out, and when I'm ready to share, like you said, I will share. So I don't know if you have any advice for friends, female friendships. Like, how can we learn to give our friends grace? How can we learn to support them while they are grieving, you know, and all of those things.
SPEAKER_00I think it's difficult to ask someone that is grieving what do you need? Oh no, I need what you're asking me. What that now, if you know me, you know that there are certain things that I mean you can send me flowers. One of my friends sent me the same friend that I said said, Oh, God's will be done, or something like that. I just woke up the next morning or two days later, and I was and was delivered flowers, and she had sent me flowers, you know. I was she melted my heart so much, I didn't expect it, you know. Um uh and then me, I love food, like I you know, so like I think if you understand your friend, my friends didn't ask me, oh uh they allowed me, you know. Of course, I like that's not the time for you to come and be visiting me because you want to visit now. I should not be entertaining you or what better bring the food and the day everything else, I'll serve yourself. You know, so I don't know. I think I just know, don't ask, just do, don't ask, just do, or not do, or just pray, or just but and don't say well for me, I don't say let me know if you need anything, because I'm not gonna know you know anything, or let me know if there's anything I can do to help because I don't know if I'll be able to do what you might need, you know. So I don't want to give so I don't want to say something I cannot defend, and I don't want to say something that uh that I cannot follow through on. So uh I'll just say, but don't ask, oh, what do you need? How can I help? If you feel really like oh, you want to do something. See, there are so there will that's why people that when people do burials and all of that, they carry food to the house of people, or when someone just had a baby, you know, they carry food without because I you eat, you eat you eventually you might not be like at the time, you still eat so so stock the person's freezer, clean their house, you know, babysit if they have a baby if you can as much as you can, or if you can't, then um, I know a friend of mine lost her mom um years ago, like two years ago or so, before I had my own experience, and I I went to see her, and I didn't even meet her at home, but I did pepper soup, fish pepper soup, and I carried it to her house. And I know she was planning the funeral at the time, but when I got there, she wasn't there, and I met her other family members. I waited, but they didn't get back before I had to leave, and I left. And to today, she still tells me that will I believe that she didn't even get to eat baby soup. All the other people they rushed there and they rushed and they finished it, you know. But just the gesture. Yeah, just the gesture, you know. So, yeah.
SPEAKER_01This is very helpful, very, very helpful because I feel like I've fallen into that trap in the past. Now I know better. Let me know how I can help. Like, just do, just knock on the door. I brought food or drop it.
SPEAKER_00Send flowers, get your address, send flowers, you know, just just something. Send someone, don't ask them because they don't need to. I I just want you to know this happened. Yeah, you know, it's not the time to be chatting or getting on a call and all of that, you know. Or send me, I can send voice notes. Now, the voice note might be three minutes or but you know, instead of calling you, because I don't know if you want to talk in that moment, you know. So, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, thank you. Thank you for those insightful tips, and you are such a good conversationalist. Like, I enjoy you know how to hold a conversation, and I enjoy chatting with you. Like, you you are I enjoy listening to you, you know. Um I just want to ask one more question before we wrap up. Do you have any advice for any Christian girl just watching this who is trying to navigate life, who is feeling stuck, who just feels like ah who onto me, or God has forgotten me, or you know, who's just in that feeling that way, you know. Do you have any advice for such Christian girl?
SPEAKER_00I will share what I am practicing right now, and and it is because I'm actively practicing it right now. And you may you mentioned it during our conversation earlier, but I'll say it again, and I'll say that build audacity. See, the audacity to ask, the audacity to show up, the audacity to like just don't. Yes, I know it's hard, okay. Yes, I know it's difficult, yes. I know it's not, yes, I know, but build the audacity to push out of all those things and just go for what you need. Ask, put yourself out there, do do something like it's it's something I'm actively practicing right now, and I cannot tell you it's not just vibes and cruise. It works, it works, it was it was audacity that made me reach out to you at any case. It was audacity, it works because we are pulling the podcast you get. My thoughts today are very precious to me. Let me tell you, like, my past days are very precious. So before I give some of my thoughts today, because I've worked the entire week. I don't like I'm not on my phone as much. I always want to find a notebook, just call don't think of myself, like so. For me to be here, you see, like we're filming it, you know. Oh, thank god. I love talking to you as well. You know, thank god. So get the audac, like find it. We have to go and buy it in the market or buy it in the Bible or like do you know how much audacity it took for me to cut my hair? I've not been on low cut since when I was in SS2. Well, that was the last time I cut my hair. Yes, I was sick. I was sick. My mom I told my brother, chop off my hair, and it was long and natural and all of that. I've not caught my hair since then. Well, for me to I thought what I said. I'm gonna cut this hair, man. I'm gonna start over, you know. So even with my hair, I decided to start over. Get audacity. See, the thing, everything was made up, everything was made up, every single thing was made up. Oh, you should be embarrassed. Well, you I should be embarrassed because you told me I should be embarrassed. There was a time in America when they said, Oh, you don't wear whites after Labor Day. What do you mean I don't come and remove my clothes? Like everything was made up. Just because some popular celebrity decided to inject their bon bomb and do all of this, the entire world began injecting and getting Brazilian buslift and doing all the things. Now the same celebrity goes back and takes it out, and just you to make up your own. You think that is it's not easy because you are breaking through generational practices. You think it's easy for me to come online and say I'm driving Uber? And that's that's despite the fact that so it's easy for you to come and say you're driving Uber if you have not done things that are perceived to be beyond that level. Like, ah, this girl, okay. But I did it anyway because like I'm breaking through the generational culture of uh I don't know if that English isn't correct, but that practice of being silent and keeping quiet, and we don't we don't used to share, we don't used to share with her. I told my husband, if I get pregnant tomorrow, yeah, I'm posting my pregnancy, like unless if I'm led otherwise, you know. But if not, because that pregnancy, I did not post it. You people did not know I was pregnant to because I was doing oh, they don't used to post, they don't used to share so did this thing not happen the way it happened, so build audacity like just okay, you know, thank you, we go again, and you see, we go again, you have to be resilient. You you have to be you have to be you have to be stop born in a good way, you have to be stop born for your destiny. You know, I'm not saying it doesn't get hard though, I'm not saying because there are people that have done things that I desire, there are people that started after me and they've drawn more much more than even the things I wanted to do. But will I not say because of that? I'm not doing again. No now, you know. Um I mean that's how I look at them, I get inspired, I'm happy for them, I celebrate them all, I'm not jealous, you know. If you get jealous or if start getting jealous, unfollow them, block them so that you will not see it and you will not be jealous. Because jealousy is not a good spirit to have, jealousy repels, envy repels, it doesn't attract. You want to attract positive things, those things that you want, you know. So build audacity and just go for it. That's my advice for you in Jesus' name. Amen.
SPEAKER_01Amen, amen, hallelujah. I love it, I love it. The energy, thank you so much. I didn't care. So can we watch uh summer rain for people in the diaspora?
SPEAKER_00It's available to watch on cava TV. So that's cover yes, k a v a have you watched it? Just send it to you. No, I've no, I've not watched it. It's k ava.tv. Um I did cover cover check them on Instagram. You see them on Instagram Kava TV. Um that's where you can watch Summer Rain and follow me, follow for my filmmaking journey, follow the joyful Adeni K for my content creation journey. Follow that joyful girl. Um, when you follow either one, you it will link you to the other one. And yeah, I just trust God uh that the best is yet to come. So we go again.
SPEAKER_01We go again. Oh, we move. I love it. Thank you so much. I don't want this podcast to end, but I have to let you go and enjoy your Saturday. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming and for this conversation. I'm sure that you know it has blessed all the people listening and it will even bless um, you know, much more people in the future. So thank you.
SPEAKER_00You're welcome.