Dear Christian Girl Podcast
The Dear Christian Girl podcast is a podcast for christian girls who are trapped in performance-based Christianity and want to really break free to live a life that genuinely pleases God.
Dear Christian Girl Podcast
You are Not Behind, You are in your Waiting Season with Bolaji Ajibare
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On this episode of the Dear Christian Girl Podcast, I sit down with Bolaji Ajibare to talk about what to do in the waiting season, how to trust God's plan when you feel behind, and praying specific prayers over your life, career, and content.
This podcast is hosted by Mo!
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Thank you
It's always a blessing to bring to you another episode of the Dear Christian Girl podcast. My guest today is very special to me. She's a friend. Her name is Bola G Billions, and she's popularly known as the social media worker. Bola G. Billions is a leading voice in social media. She's a social media strategist, a coach, a digital entrepreneur. She's known for helping individuals and brands turn social media into a profitable skill and a sustainable career. Through her coaching, digital products, and online community, Bola G has empowered hundreds of people across Africa to build a strong online brand, monetize their expertise, and navigate the digital space with clarity and confidence. Most importantly, Bolaji is a child of God and a Christian girl, which is very important for this podcast. Please welcome to the show Bola Gillians.
SPEAKER_03It was in church. Now the social media was born in church, but I'm I'm I'm not I'm not okay. God and I don't know why this is happening. Because I was so mad, like you know, the way you scream at your mom or your dad, that's how I was screaming to go ahead. I'm like, but you know, I said, but it's even my father. We're going to always be anxious about so many things, but God said in his words, be anxious about nothing. You are too small to punish the plan of God in your life.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much, Bolaji, for joining me today. I'm so happy we are doing this. And fun fact, just before we started this episode, I was really upset. I feel like I'm still a little bit upset because of some hiccups, but Volaji actually told me to join up, and I think that helped a little. Thank you so much, my friend, for being here today. I'm I'm so excited. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03I am also I'm very excited to be here.
SPEAKER_01I was going through, I think LinkedIn and I saw um a post from you where you said you were scrolling Instagram and you saw um that you had been, I think Alt Marketing School had done a feature on you about um the top hundred marketers to watch out for in 2026. How how did that make make you feel? Like, were you were you shocked? Were you stunned? Like uh where is this coming from?
SPEAKER_00No, I wasn't actually because I feel like this is like the um how would I say it? This is like the second time that is happening um where I just randomly wake up and I'll see myself on a list.
SPEAKER_03Um I think the first one was um um was Cordia when they said the top marketers in Nigeria, and that was like at the end of last year. I saw somebody's um um how do I say that I saw somebody's post our husband like oh let me go and look for the flyer and repost it only to see.
SPEAKER_00I'm sorry that I'm trying to adjust my DJI, only to see that I wait though. This is um it's me that's here and I feel like I wasn't um how'd I say it?
SPEAKER_03I wasn't and it's something I'm used to now that um people would just make up lists and then I'd be a part of the list. And yeah, it's just it just shows that God is working and God is in the story. But I feel like also I wasn't shocked because all marketing had reached out um to say, oh, they will put me on the list, but it wasn't at the back of my mind that okay, I'm going to be on this list, or I was I was trying to fight to be on the list. They asked me for my details, which was in hard to give to them. Um, so definitely I chose whether I would probably be on the list, but it did not occur to me until I was scrolling Instagram and I'm like, oh, that's me.
SPEAKER_00And I always do that thing, like, that's me, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. I I feel like I've also seen your face uh everywhere, like um you know, just everywhere. Lists top 10, something, something most influential, top hundred. I see all those lists and I'm like, yep, that's that's my friend, that's my friend.
SPEAKER_03And that's like that's like the idea. Um, I was I think I was telling my black mate today because I got a mail when we went shopping, like, oh my god, they're inviting me to come and spend a communication class at the London Imperial College in London. I'm in like Imperial College in London two hours of okay, like do this. Yeah, I feel like I'm not I'm not I'm I'm just I'm I'm getting used to it, but it always like makes me feel like oh god is in this story, so yeah.
SPEAKER_01For sure, and I love it for you. I love it for you, and your hard work as well pays off, like you're one of the most hardworking people that I know. Um, but like, what are you doing? I'm working on this, I'm editing this, I'm doing this course, I'm running this, like you're always doing stuff, and you're also very hardworking as well. So I feel like it's you know, preparation means opportunity.
SPEAKER_03So I need to tone it down though, because I think one thing my ex was always saying when you're in a relationship was I know you cannot cheat on me, but I feel like you're cheating on me with work.
SPEAKER_00Well, I'm not sorry though, but yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, I'm happy that we are doing this podcast because I feel like we've been trying to get this done since last year, August. Remember, yes, yes, we're both in Nigeria, yeah, and we were just trying, and you had you have such a you had such a busy schedule. I had a busy schedule. We're attending you, you were jumping from wedding to wedding to wedding. I was attending some weddings too, and it just didn't work. But I know you sent me a um you sent me a um like a podcast studio place in Lagos, and thank you for that plot because I actually used it to record um a podcast with another friend I oh, yes, so that came in handy. But I'm glad we're doing this, even though it's virtual, I'm happy, can't complain. Thank god. Um, I'm interested, even though I'm your friend, like I don't know how the social media all gas started, I don't know how Bola Jubilon started. So I'm interested in knowing, like, um, walk me through your background first. I know um you're Christian. Um, I know you used to do those um scribbles. I don't know if you still do them anymore. Were you born into a Christian home? Like, how did you find God? You know, um, yeah, your background.
SPEAKER_03Um, my background, I was born into a Christian home.
SPEAKER_00My parents are pastors in RCCG. Afiah is currently a provincial pastor. I think assistant, I don't know, whether assistant or provision provincial.
SPEAKER_03Um, my mom is also a pastor, like not pastor's wife, like ordained um AP. Um, yeah, assistant pastor also. Um I still do the scribbles, I've not just done it in a while because I do it based on the leading of the Holy Spirit. So it's not just scribbles for fun or anything. Um, I still do the scribbles, hoping to go back when the Holy Spirit says go back. Um background and social media. I think I always say um I studied computer science and engineering, um, and when they stole my laptop, they stole a real passion for computer science and engineering. Uh so I my school went on strike and I got into marketing and was always spending time on my phone, and that was how I I just literally started being on social media. Um, that was at age 16.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's like how many years ago? I that's 14 years ago. Um, yeah, I that's when I started like social media. No, was it 16 or 19? I can't really remember. But that was I was always on my phone, and then my mom had the thing where she my mom my mom doesn't have any soft any hard skills, right?
SPEAKER_03She doesn't know how to plead hair, she doesn't know how to put the band, so she made sure because being the first daughter, the eldest daughter, um, I learned everything. Sewing, decoration. Six month strike, I was learning. My mother had time for me to learn everything. It got to a point I was even decorating for our church. I still feel like I still know how to do a good trip. Wow. Event planning, bead making, wire works, sewing, like my mom material learned all of that, but still having tried my hands on all of that, I come to realize that you know what it's social media that what is that.
SPEAKER_00Um at that moment, I had no idea that it was gonna be a career for me, but I was just always online, and I was just always pressing my phone. And from pressing my phone, I think it just grew into upskilling, becoming um, how would I say a social media manager, going for my master till the point where I had to go for my master's and studied digital marketing? I feel like it's been a God-ordained journey from the very beginning. So that's like kind of like my background without going deep down into it.
SPEAKER_01That's interesting. Did you ever imagine this life? Like now you're being called by you said London Imperial College, speak, um, you're getting all these features, although marketing school, and all the other features you know we see online. Like, did you ever imagine this life? No, but no, um, I signed my biggest brand deal yet.
SPEAKER_00Um, but I'm I'm about to sign my biggest brand deal yet.
SPEAKER_03Negotiated my biggest brand deal yet last week, and when I got the email for oh, they're gonna draft the contract, in my mind I'm like exactly what I want. But then I'm like, I should have asked Code Bigger, but I did actually, do you know it's not even just occurring to me because like God, I want to speak more, but I said I was very, very, very, very detailed.
SPEAKER_00I said, God, I want paid speaking engagement. I love it because you'll be speaking for three days, like and now it's quirky that I'm having one lined up for April, and then there's one they're flying me in March. Yeah, that's okay. So, yeah, um, I don't imagine my life, I just put it in God's hands mostly kids.
SPEAKER_03When people ask me, Oh, can I uh book you in advance? I'm like, I don't plan three months out, just let God do it. But it's you know my story, we talk a lot with the back and forth of voicemail. You know how I've struggled when I moved to this country. Um, you've been there for me through heartbreak, you've been there for me through struggles of oh, I don't have a job, and now I'm in it's looking like I don't need a job. I don't I don't need the job, but I'm good working for myself, so yeah. I don't think I ever imagined this life. I just and I try not to imagine if it's like unboxing God.
SPEAKER_01Wow, so um I want us I want you to just walk us through that journey. Like, how did you come up with the name the social media orga or bology billions? Because there are a lot of young girls listening to you right now who um might feel stuck. Like, how do I know what God wants me to do? Was it God that told you to be a social media um manager? Was it God that gave you the name? So, how do I get from feeling stuck, you know, to doing what God actually wants me to do?
SPEAKER_03So, as part of names, both names were not given to me by God, but it was given to people by God. Both names were given to me by other people that God used. So the college rebellions was given to me by my experience ex wow. And that name stock, and it's kind of like a practical name because every single time since I started bearing her name, like even if I'm broke today, tomorrow money will come.
SPEAKER_00Like it's like billions has always been coming, money has always been, and then you have people like P Daniel calling me uh billion dollars. That one he doesn't remember my name, not apply to being billion dollars. How are you? How you doing, and everything.
SPEAKER_03Um, also the social media guy was coined by two people. I remember I was in church one day, my father was just transferred. We just moved to Oak State that time. My father was just transferred from Lagos Province 37 to Ogon Province 8, and I was upstairs. I was working with the media team, and that's why if you're listening to me, it's always very good to serve God working with the media team. And I remember brothers just so and was it Francis? Well, the ones that were like, Oh, I want to be social media boss, I want to have a page where I just like that. And I created the Instagram handle, and they were like, No, why not have your Nigerian words that everybody can be a social media boss, everybody can be a social media girl? I'm like, Oh, social media or guys. So when I created social media, I think I forgot the handle, the password, and everything. So I know like, why not just be the social media or that's how the name came? It was in church that the social media orga was born in church. The conversation, so both names were given to me by other people, it wasn't like it was uniquely me. And if I hadn't run with that vision, I got my book and give somebody else that name. And sometimes I I there's like so much weight on both names, and it gets really overwhelming sometimes. But I feel like God has given me the grace to be able to like carry book names, at least to this point, so yeah, that's how I feel about the name because the name is pretty unique.
SPEAKER_01Like when I first had social media all girl, I was like, hmm, I've never had that before. Started from church, and I'm very interested in that because a lot of the people listening are church yells. Um, so did you start serving in church and then like in the media department, and then you went off to build your own thing? Was that how it works?
SPEAKER_03I was already building my own thing before I started serving in church. Um, no, basically, I was no, I was serving in church before I started building my own thing. Um I think that's how it was called. I was serving in the media team before social media was even born. I was serving in PSE before I was born. So I think serving in church just felt my love for media more. Um yeah, that's how it worked.
SPEAKER_01Okay. With your parents being pastors, did you struggle with performance-based Christianity? Like, did you feel like those weights or expectation on you because you were the pastor's kid? Life generally and in church as well.
SPEAKER_03I feel like every pastor's kid has a certain weight that they carry, um, whether you talk about um they talk about it or not. For example, I feel like last year a month, and that's what really affected me. Um I had a moment of self-reflection um November, December, that oh my god, you probably want to be villain in your last relationship based on the pressure you have on yourself and from family, from being a Christian, doing this, doing that. Um I feel like a lot of us have that, and it's okay. You just determine you just get to decide what you do with that pressure. It's totally, totally up to you. So, yeah, I feel like there is kind of like a certain kind of pressure. How did you break out of that pressure? Um, I feel like one thing I always do these days is to talk to God about everything. But I'm feeling disadvoyed um God and I'm not I'm not okay. God, um I don't know why this is happening, God, I don't I don't get it. Those are the things I do. Um I think was it two weeks ago when my friend died? And I was like, I go back home and like, God, that's what happened.
SPEAKER_02My friend was gonna come and I was screaming at God.
SPEAKER_03I'm like, I was so mad, like you know, the way you would scream at your mom or your dad, that's the time I was screaming at God. You know, I said, but isn't it my father? Can't I scream at him? And I scream, and then I don't know, it just filled me with so much peace and comfort and all of that, which is which is fine. There's certain things that happen in life that I feel like the only way you get over that pressure of, for example, you're my lovely friend, you're happily married, you have a child, and yes, me. I don't know who I'm gonna end up with. I obviously don't have a child, I don't obviously don't have a full-time job. So the pressure of oh, how do I feel? I feel like the pressure of being a pastor's kid is small compared to the pressure of life. It's literally chill, like everything's gonna work out, everything's gonna be fine. I taught myself that every single day. I I feel like I don't say it's bad, but I feel like if I'd gotten married, I wanted to get married. Maybe I'd accept it, maybe, and if I'd had kids, maybe it would have slowed me down in my career. Maybe I'm just saying maybe I think it was a discourse one time that said something in one time statements about I'm just glad I'm not married right now, and I'm glad I don't have kids right now because of my career and everything. And it was somebody, we were not the person, I'm not gonna mention names. I told her WhatsApp because she's married, yeah. And what do you mean? Are you saying my woman cannot do this? And it's a me thing, it's not a new thing, but obviously, I feel like for you to go about you obviously felt like maybe she's right. But I'm just saying, not chill, like Kelly. First of all, my woman that was my my mummy in uni, she just gave birth. I've had people that just give that. I have people that could include if I had somebody that got engaged this morning that I was telling you about, then there's me in the relationship, and that's okay. You're going to always be anxious about so many girls, but God said in his words, be anxious about nothing. By prayer and supplication and everything about him. I pray that you're just always blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah come back home from work one day or school one day and be mounted, be crying with tears in your eyes, and let him know that this is how I'm feeling. Let him know that you are messing up.
SPEAKER_02I didn't read it yesterday. Like, this is the plan. Are you ready? That's how you communicate to your mother in the way of my mama having like all having arguments and everything.
SPEAKER_03Simply wanting to see it, let me know that I'm not sure this plan I think is gonna work if your father that's that's prayer as you communicate it's uh I'm sure you just get a journal, get a journal, write your journals, and I can really go back and read those journals again, you'd be like, I was like worried, I was like when I live to the United Kingdom. I would like to get this because I would have been happy, page this coffee. I would like it, I would like a job, I would like a job, did not get job, but still got the ones that made it possible for me to be in this place. I'm gonna know God made it away. I'm gonna get to work for me. How about God made away? Be anxious about my thing and prayer and supplication, make your request known unto God, and you answer me. And let me just let you know that you are too small to punish the plan of God in your life.
SPEAKER_04That's amazing, and it's interesting because you are you are just touching on some of the questions I want to ask you.
SPEAKER_03You spoke about relationships, you've spoken about moving because I wanted to ask, moving to a new country, that's scary. Um, I was having a conversation with a friend and she's like, I feel like it was easier for me to move because I moved when I was 20, as um opposed to moving when you are older, you know. She's like, I don't know, it's just much more, you know, to care about you building a successful career in Nigeria. So moving, how was that for you? Was it scary? Um, did it affect your career in any way? That's that's really like I was just saying on X today to um that the price of calling from brands now being paid when I was imagining offering $200. So it's my career in a positive way. And I wish I it was scary the fear of all number if God has said go it won't be away the people I stayed with for four months I did not know them from Adam they were my friend's friend and they housed me for four months and the family like became the family on my way from them um so it's more of they gave me my own room in the house they were not assuring me they were just family to me so it's not about um it's scary but if God has said go when God told Abraham to separate from Lot he was moving into a strange land and or and when God was showing him different things even go even lot was scared it was okay to be scared but even when the Israelites left Egypt and was taking him to Canaan in the Bible there was a lot of jackbind I feel like I already have so much faith about what 2026 is gonna hold for me so um it's gonna be one of the most beautiful years in my life like I feel like my 30s I'm going to be beautiful in my 30s like I'm like you know it's gonna be the most amazing time online I'm going to bask in that grace of God that I feel like I have I have so much clarity about what it is I want to do and so I still don't understand why I'm waiting while I still don't have kids while I'm not married yet so I'm not I don't I talk about I'm not my own person like for example when all of us club 30 a lot of people got um surprised births from my husband but they never surprised me when you just I've never gotten that and it's something I've always like always wanted to have you when this would say something really cute something niche about me that's how it is so yeah um that's it that's my answer honestly I appreciate the honesty and it it's interesting because again the next question I was gonna ask is have you ever waited on God for something and it seems like you are currently in a waiting season I feel like we are all in a waiting season we're waiting for different things but we are all in a waiting season and um how do you go through your waiting seasons and on days when it feels like ha I can't take this anymore like what do you do you know I know you mentioned journaling do you have friends that you call to and cry to like just how do you go through your waiting seasons or how are you going through it um I'm busy isn't like oh am I going to marry when am I gonna get into people that have kids two three five people are not going to have people their kids are five years old I'm like what am I children going to play with but I come to realize that I'm too small to tarnish God's bank in my life and except I want to have kids outside of wardlock or I want to just settle for the people that say oh god said you are my wife I'm gonna have to wait on him and I feel like the waiting season never ends for everybody. You are always going to be waiting for one thing trying waiting for a job waiting for visa and approval waiting for a house waiting for a loan to be approved waiting for promotion there's all waiting for a child waiting for you are always going to wait for something at every single point of your life there's nobody that's not waiting for anything so for me handling my waiting season is more of just asking God for the peace to be able to wait and the patience to be able to wait because I'm not a patient person and it's asking for peace asking for patience and I feel like those are the things that um makes it work for me in the waiting of God thank you for sharing because I'm sure like you said we're always waiting for something it's something you you get married I don't know you have children then it's the next thing is the next thing as humans right so just I guess uh learning to have that patience and trusting God through it all I think that's very important and how do you not let your success get into your head and how you how do you not feel like I've arrived no you have knowing that you have arrived but like how do you stay humble you know am I really humble let me rephrase the question I don't know maybe I just I just don't show it because I try to because you've achieved a lot at a very young age you know so how do you stay humble um so I feel like every single point where you think you've achieved there's somebody that's achieved more so it's always a step ahead so if you feel like oh you arrive at this point you will probably stay there for too long so always look what's the next step ahead that can go to to achieve this and that that's how I know that's how that's how I stay humble because there's always another thing to achieve there's not always another milestone to get to there's always some things to get there's always some things to do. So yeah and I believe God also keeps you grounded as well yeah it does and and I um our spiritual partner that you is one humble persons and not just be as humble as him very very humble yeah I want us talk about dating and friendships because let's be honest as women we go through very interesting seasons of friendships there are times when you're like my call I beg I don't I'm I'm done and there are times when you're like you know a professional death for me or maybe I don't know you are in a different season or maybe you've had a friend say ah is it because Bella J is now with grand ambassador she's now speaking every year what's going on I beg so I'm sure you've had some interesting friendships but I want us to look talk talk about relationships first and then go into friendships so for that young girl who is listening and maybe because I know you have to ask for is if I had to get married today you would have gotten married right so I know that you have people talking to you but what are your non-negotiables like what is stopping you from just you know marrying anyone um you know and giving into pressure like what is that thing you are looking for obviously a godly man but what are your non-negotiables so I guess someone who's listening who is feeling pressured maybe she can hear this and say you know what no I I'm I'm going to you know stick to my standards or something something along that line I must be attracted to you if I I'm not attracted to you I'm sorry I I must be attracted to you is it's not just yeah you're not godly and everything because when everything finish praying you know like is it physical attraction or no sick car please and I must be I don't have a type I say that but I every single person I've dated people like oh you know this dog guys and everything I must be attracted to you and I tried dating recently and what I like I'm like I I sat down and then I was doing a lot of comparison with this other person and huh it's better I go back to where I was coming from than to be like going back to my agents that in this game I like I don't know so it's about um for me one of my non leadership is you have you know the godly side but physical attraction because there's attraction that will make for the young games you might be older but it will make sex enjoyable for you because I've heard a lot of people that um are married that um my friends are married and they don't shy away from talking about sex you have to enjoy with your partners you think is like very tiresome or something like that. I've seen a lot of tweets of people say oh this and that and everything you need to make sure you have that physical I want to be able to see my baby outside and be like oh that's my husband love it that's my man the way you used to carry your husband and goes oh man like oh spook baby clapping like I wanted to be able to take great pictures together love my friends and I we're talking one of my friend and I and we're talking about one actor like I thought I had a dream that oh and God said uh maybe it was my head or maybe because I listened to the song so much that um this person is to my husband or something like that and I'll say I woke up and I said go for it not because of anything but I've always looked at these iPod and I'm like this person has been new I said I know that I'm not attract I'm not attracted to that person it's not the decisions I say no it's not brother you have bitches I think yes I know physical attraction it might not you might not be the finest person of it me and the most beautiful most hung up so that's a non-negotiable for me um also I want somebody that is calm some stuff I have coconut ed and I need somebody that is somebody that can calm me down because I I go through a lot I walk a lot like I walk a whole lot I mean record I'm around through man and sometimes I just need somebody to offload and do me to eat tell me to rest tell me to take milks it's as simple as that or tell me I'm sorry um how am I feeling and everything I need somebody that will do that for me so um yeah those are my non-negotiable um I also need a man that godly you're covering me in the house and everything but I also need a man I can go with you don't have to have all the money right now we can work together you don't have to have all the plans right now or at least have something have a vision have um a goal a plan in mind don't just come and be like oh I don't know what I'm going to do hello it's my time 30 years old yeah they let me money visionless i love it is the honesty for me to be honest physical attraction is it's very important if I don't physically are chanting to use band you don't really it's important and I I don't know how people do it like what God said even I don't like this person because God said it's so shall we that settles it if you know your only um uh my ladies to hear my girls to hear is God cannot just give you one person if one person says and the person does not for God will replace it ask Moses and what did the children of Israel to promise land there was Joshua ask Elijah there was Elisha there will always be somebody to replace so if one person is if the person say that what oh you will be a lost man as married what do you want to be you want to wait for him to divorce his wife only for your person so yeah I I keep I hold that into my chest you're too small to tarnish God's plan for your life actually love it like you're too small to tarnish God's plan for your life so yeah what I whatever you do you know you are God's child so you'll always be in alignment yeah um have you ever been in a toxic relationship before and like maybe friendship not necessarily romantic relationship and if yes like once you cook that this was toxic and you know I need to leave how did you leave when you say toxic I feel like they have different definitions but I was in a friendship not relationship because I wanted to stay in a toxic relationship that I would live um I was in a friendship where I knew that what I was doing and that friendship wasn't working for me and I realized that friendship was making me more of a bad person it was making me a gossiper making me a very spiteful person because of the person I was friends with um how did I live god just scattered it basically like God just scattered it like I thought that was the friendship that would stay for long maximum I think it was two years but yeah it started it was very easy for me to let go of Mother did you realize it was toxic while you were in it or more or after God scattered it no it was there was one moment that happened on the way that God was capturing it that made me realize that ah this person is part of the problem that I'm facing with other people when it comes to like friendship so like you know what it's time to let go and God just did it everyone the friends tried to come back because I'm like you know what I'm done I'm fine and everything and always I'm I'm not always also in a toxic situation the other thing is you become more self-aware as you grow I was in friendship with two other people when this moved into the United Kingdom I thought we were we're gonna be close friends old although I was older um it's very hard making new friends when you move to new cities and they do much younger I think the other person I was older than that with four years and other I was older six years so we're not even mates um with six or seven years and then I realized that because they are closer in age they always hang out one day always is me out the kind of person I'll talk about it talk about it the first time talk about the second time when you make me talk about this document and make me feel like an app I removed myself from the situation so if you feel like something isn't working for you is making you feel like a bad person just remove yourself from the situation is really really easy to say you know what this is working for me I need to believe and just remove yourself from this and the situation that you scope so I remove myself the even that I remove myself from the situation and do not have you don't even call us you don't even do this right when I'm saying we ground that without me on Instagram that they're paying so yeah um I've not should be in a toxic relationship thing good for that because I feel like nothing takes a tool on the mentor out um all the men of data has been wonderful um I think the only one that embarrassed me well it wasn't really official but I never all the men of data have been very wonderful people so yeah that's a good thing to say do you choose do you interview your friends like how do you choose your friends um I've heard someone say that oh like she interviews her friends like not officially but you know the same way you vet relationships like if someone wants to date you and you're like does he have a stable job is he a spiritual person do we have the same values you know that thing we do for relationships do you know that um um with your friends and I'll be honest for me no I just in the past now yes for in the past whoever I vibe with you know let's say we vibed on um something and we just had a something in common you know the friendship just took off and then maybe during the friendship I'm not like we don't share the same values or maybe when I say Angia and person like why are you praying too much or why you are sharing but I'm like remember that hero like you know God is my everything so if you have a problem with that then why are we not friends in the first place or just basic Christian foundational values and when I heard that say you know I I vet my friends I'm like you know maybe I should start doing that like from beginning day two if we don't have the same values piece it can't work so I'm just interested in more like with your friends do you vet them how do you choose your friends I've not actually been vetting people interviewing people no I feel I think if you come to the realization that okay this friend is for this this friend is for this this friend is for this so I have a friend here in the United Kingdom that she got into an altercation with someone else that I know and the way she undoed it I'm like okay I just know this is how I'm going to be with you and not get to that point with you and what's still very cool like she doesn't know but I know that um this is not what I'm going to be able to say to you and everything and then I have another friend that um when I bring up conversations about oh so this person's on my mind she doesn't handle it well and I'm like okay I know what I'm going to discuss with you I'm not hiding anything from you but I need to protect myself so I don't cut people off unless you give me the reason to but one thing I suddenly do is I suddenly listen I check the vibe and I know what it is that we are at in the friendship and that's what I go with I don't try to any people I'm an adult and I'm still accent my own my best friend I've married my own best friend now you know this we've married people I married my best friend we don't really talk every time I'm trying to look for another best friend there's not a single number somebody that'll carry me on my head on the head like bread because I'm not it's not too late to find a best friend I've got to eat it or it's not too late to find somebody that actually uses me and I'm thinking that's not gonna make a way but we're gonna we can do things together. Maybe somebody that'll plan baby surprise for me to this badly surprise you must get it and get it one day but yeah it's I don't really make my friends but I feel like gold it's just I'm gonna extend the people that um doesn't matter my people tell me my best friends are over the phone because they're in different countries. You can't blame either in Canada then in the UK then the US then different countries are in Nigeria because when I'm trying to reach her she's in Madame trying to call her and then like the next time I get the world over is I was about collecting pests if that kind of reach for one whole week two weeks and even two weeks I haven't been able to reach her but I'm kind of worried but I'm just like praying for her and everything. So yeah I don't I don't believe that my friends but I feel like the mind just vents them and then puts them in boxes put them in places and they should be so yeah and um I believe that sometimes friendships are for a season yeah some friendships not all and it's okay for friendships to end do you believe that like it's okay okay and how do you end those friendships in a graceful way you know such that it's not I think if you know what I mean like how how do you transition I guess if you're in a different season and the friendship has just grown it's about grown it thank you like how how do you I guess still stay do you still stay cordial you know well yeah yeah I do stay cordial I remember the people I thought I was friends with family culture and everything happens for a season a reason sorry um I was firstly accused of saying I can never forget it's something I've forgiven everybody involved I was firstly accused of saying um that my friend lost the pregnancy it's affected my friendship with that person because when she finally got pregnant she was she did not tell me until she finally gave that thinking yes it's funny it affected my friendship with her um she did not make it affected our friendship we're still calling but it just the trust isn't there for me anymore um and it's going to take a while to actually get to that point but all the other people that were involved in that conversation that were saying oh yes I saw them like oh paint the scenario maybe tomorrow and tell me this scenario where I told them that conversation it was just pained on me I was forced I was forced like I was crying it was it I was crying in public I couldn't at all like how would I even say such when it never happened um I've called each and every one of them but I don't call them to say oh this is what I don't care if they post something congratulations to you if they congratulations to you it's good like that also I've had friends that I'm sorry if like it gets to the point that you're hiding your pregnancy from me I don't consider you afraid you might not tell me throughout the pregnancy season But at least tell me before you give it. I have a different take on this actually. Okay. Because so I had my roommate of five years. Um, she just gave birth. But I didn't even know she was pregnant. But she called me two weeks before I killed it. I'm pregnant and everything. Um I'm due to I'm sorry, I said I'm an adult, I understand. But when coming for a birthday party, your birthday party, other people knew they were coming for your birthday party and your baby shower. I'm going to see you. I'm gonna be like, why deep couldn't you have told me?
SPEAKER_04Okay, again, I have a different take on this.
SPEAKER_03Go on, I need go on because other people that came with baby shower games obviously need that. Why was I need to? Well, maybe maybe my take I think that's a different situation because I have a very close friend who was pregnant and didn't tell anyone until a day after she had the baby. And when I say anyone, she didn't tell her siblings, her parents, nobody knew. It was just herself and her husband, and now that was her third baby, and um, it was an instruction from God. This particular baby, no one needs to know, like you're not gonna tell anyone. Now, obviously, we're very close, very, very close. So, when like when she told me I was very hurt, right? And when she told other friends as well, like we were hurt, but I had to understand that sometimes it's not about me, like it's not about me. I don't know how that sounds, right? And if this was an instruction from God, then it was an instruction from God, baby number one. You told me we did baby shower together, baby number two. I knew, so there's no pattern of like hiding your baby from you, your pregnancy. And if baby number three, if you told some friends and didn't tell me that that's the thing, yeah. Other people, they obviously do baby shower, yeah. Everybody I'm talking about doing baby shower, so other people knew, but I didn't. Now that's that's interesting because it's like, well, I guess other people that I told are more, I guess, important. So I I just get to realize that this is my place in your life. Yes, you get and trust me, I'll be very coded when you see me to be called the baby with me anyway in my head. It's you are going to find out about my proposal on Instagram. You get invited to my wedding, definitely. You're not going to sit close to the front at the back.
SPEAKER_04No, I'm not, I'm not. It's I mean, I don't because I understand, I understand they make you feel like a bad person.
SPEAKER_03And I'm not a lot of people are basing decisions based on oh, you didn't tell me you were pregnant. I'm like, I'm I can talk about it freely now, but you didn't tell me you were pregnant because and I feel like I'm one day I'm going to sit down with her, and I'm going to record a video and I'm going to talk about it. Like, why explain your the how I say it? The reason why you nine months, and then we were talking during the nine months, and there was this person that told other friends and didn't tell you. I said I did everybody do baby shell. This is three different friends, so everybody had that notion of the false accusation ish, that oh, but I but then I've had friends that have involved me in every single stage of their pregnancy. I mean, there's one person that I did. She she she clocking two years, just clocked two years in marriage. I was a best lady. I did not, I'm not supposed to be because she's not interested in posting the course pictures. I really I love weddings a lot. I just stopped for that best lady or first time in my life. I was doing best lady, I think. And I did not post it for somebody that you love the weddings. So I'm kind of thinking like if you don't say pen my friend I already did video for the baby when I did not post until father and mother posted, and I posted, ah now we you know those now we can talk video. So why and I feel like I've come to that point that other two people are dealing with a different version of who they thought I was, or they're living in the past or my past version, but then it's affecting our future together, and to be honest, it's fine, but I'm just going to keep going when I don't involve you in the future. That's it. But I just want to clarify that you know there's no bitterness, there's no awfully friendship. We just know we just know a place in people's lives, it's like, oh, I'm I'm and I don't tell you, it's not and I and I tell other people you there's no how babes you feel it, you'll be like, of course, but the guy I'm not gonna show you, of course. So that's how it's what if they say um what if they have like a like a legit reason? Maybe they had a miscarriage or God said not to tell, specifically, no, not no, not black.
SPEAKER_04Anyone not said anyone is that is that a valid is that valid reason enough for you?
SPEAKER_03If you do not tell anybody, yes, so apart from you and your husband is different, yeah. So see that after you've born an asking baby shower pictures, you obviously told people, yeah.
SPEAKER_04I'm not this we obviously told people, so yeah, friendships can be can be very, very interesting.
SPEAKER_03Um but yes, God will continue to give us the grace to navigate female friendships because it's um it's it has gotten bad P. But let's also talk about the good side of female friendships as well because I have amazing friends, I don't even know how I would survive without all of you, my friends. My mom is always saying that you always carry friendship ahead, always carrying friendship ahead. I love my friends, and I know you also have amazing friends as well, like most of friends, you know, and I don't know how I would have got gotten through certain um periods or seasons of my life without my friends. Yeah, so very important to have godly female friendships, friends that you know share the same values as you, yeah, friends that you can pray together, we've prayed together, so maybe you know, even friends that you can call and just cry and they'll just pray over you because sometimes you don't be having the energy or you know, the you don't even have the words to to to make, you know, so it's it's great to always just rely on your friends. Um I I can talk to you forever because he was such a good conversationalist, and you you you don't have to make a good talk, right? But I want to suggest quickly touch on uh your career once again, and uh I'll ask you if you have any advice for any Christian girl just watching this. You mentioned a new career woman, and I know I know you you like your and you're showing you know God is blessing the works of your hands, and um, you know, you are I I I told Chat GPT, who is Bella G Billions? And you just said yeah, she's popularly known as Bola G Billions and the social media orgap, she's a leading social media strategist, a coach, and a digital entrepreneur. She's known for helping individuals and brands turn social media into a profitable skill and a sustainable career through her coaching, digital products, and online community. Bola G has empowered hundreds of people across Africa to build a strong online brand to monetize the their expertise and navigate the digital space with clarity and confidence. So you are a very successful um voice in the media space. And I want to ask you, have you done any career transitioning in the past? Like, have you maybe even within you know um with the media, like have you maybe ever got into a point where you felt stuck and you were like, How do I transition? How do I move? There's this um the joyful girl on social media on Instagram. I know she like started over all her um social media platforms and all of that, and you know, she just she's right now, she's in this starting over place and transitioning and building and talking to people who want to start over and all of that. Have you ever done that in the past? Because I feel like I watch I have people who listen who are career folks, but uh are are feeling stuck in their career and are looking for how to transition and start over and be successful like you've done. Um I always start over when I feel stuck, and I've started over again and again and again. I remember when I came to the United Kingdom, I was on 5,000 subscribers in YouTube, right now I'm in 26,000. Um, that's more of passing over. Um, like now I feel stuck on Instagram and I'm releasing like new kind of content to see how well I can grow. Um when it comes to my career, I feel like the one thing I'm always doing is trying to look for new ways where I'm gonna evolve or how I'm going to evolve. It's not about staying in the same position for a long time. So it's more of how do I grow? How do I become the best version of myself? Because I don't compare myself to anybody, because nobody would ever be the social media guy, nobody will ever be Bolling billions. Nobody. Um, nobody will ever do it like I do. That's why I call people my name tag and a girl gave me your social media manager's favorite social media manager. Somebody was like, Oh, I'm my I'm my own favorite social media manager, and I'm like, Oh, that's good, but you but I am your social media manager's very right social media manager, and that's okay. Because nobody will teach you like I do, nobody would um walk, nobody will support you. And I told my friends, nobody will change their wedding actually style just to come and pick money at your wedding. I did that for somebody in a mother, so it is it's not of whatever I feel stuck in my career. I pray about it, I pray about my social media pages every single day. There's a new prayer point, and anybody that's listening on my eight you pray. Um, that you gave us, father, colonize me, colonize me, tell me walk back, colonize my life, and anywhere I want to be to be independence, never let me go. Never let me colonize my social media pages, colonize my life, colonize my career, colonize every single part of me. Father, colonize me. So every like right now, I feel stuck, especially on my Instagram page. I feel like, oh, it's not growing, but what do I do? Twitter is growing, LinkedIn is growing a little bit, and I'm like, you know what? I'm going to be praying about my social media pages more every single day. And I colonize the social media okay. So, yeah, it's not about praying and not just staying. Yes, you pray, no faith without works is dead. You need to put in the work also every single stage of my career. Okay, I became a I just became a tech content creator in two months. I know how much I spent on that jet alone. I know how much I spent on that jet alone. My workspace is taking shape now. I know how much I've spent, and I'm about to still spend again so that God have your way and you only you can do. Always pray, and I'm always praying because what am I going to do? That's my answer. Well, I I I picked up prayer a lot. You said prayer, prayer, prayer, and I feel like it's easy to remove God, especially if maybe you are in the social media space from social media because you're like, Why do I need to pray to God before I post this podcast? Or why do I need to pray to God for my um, you know, my platforms and all of that? But that's one thing I just picked up from you now. Um, you know, having to involve God in every area of your life, in every area of your life, whether it's social media or your career and all of that. And for me, I just started a new job and I've been praying a lot, like on my way to work. You know, so um I I hear you, and I hear that you're saying that if if you're transitioning, if you're feeling stuck, the first step is to pray. You are not praying, God will give you, you know, maybe it could be that idea or that wisdom, you know, to just do whatever you need to do to just um to evolve, but most especially it is possible because, like you said, you've done it several times. And I I remember when your Instagram page got shut down or got taken down three times. Boraji it started again, it started again. Um I went to look for you. I didn't find you said, Boraji, what's going on? Don't worry, started again until you finally got him back. So um, you're not um afraid to start over, which is a very courageous thing about you, one thing I really admire about you. And to anyone listening, if you're in a career where you're feeling stuck, don't be afraid to start again, don't be afraid to branch out, you know. A lot of lawyers sometimes you feel stuck because law, you go to law school, you you read law, you do masters, and it just feels like this is all I know.
SPEAKER_04What else do I know how to do? Don't be afraid. This speak we're hearing from someone who has started against everybody, and and also someone who has evolved, you know, yeah, in law in brilliance, you know, into um leadership in law.
SPEAKER_03So it's it's it's okay to start again, and it's very possible to start again and be stressful in your career. So, what's what is that advice that you have for that young Christian girl, please listen and who is looking up to you? Because I know a lot of girls are looking up to you, but like you say, what do you have to say to them? And I have let me just try to say everything in in a few sentences. Um, you're too small to tell me she got span for your life. Um, there will be stumbling blocks, there will always be somebody better, there will always be somebody finer, always somebody more successful, somebody richer. You need to be considered with what you have and aim for more, aim to grow, aim to be better. Um, nobody's coming to save you except Jesus Christ. I love that. I love that. Nobody's coming to save you except Jesus Christ. Okay, and he already did. So nobody is coming to save you. Um, he already gave you salvation, and that's all he can give you. The Holy Spirit is there to give you direction. You need to find a way to hear from God by yourself. So when somebody will not come out and say, God said you are my wife, and we have they used that tagline for you before, though, like they have, and I did the whole video, right? It was on this one. Oh, okay. I say that all video still. Because God already even told me that he was going to come and say that you are not very um also you need to be very confident in yourself um and own your craft, own your craft, um, and be loud about it. How you're also on your head like bread, because nobody's going to hurt it like you do. Nobody. And when it comes to friendships, pray for your friends, pray. Um, I remember when I first started talking to Moya. Um, I think it was PSF Cells that put us together. Like, who is this fine girl? I think she had that yellow jacket on her on her WhatsApp profile picture, yellow blakes, and she was looking paying. Fine, beautiful woman. She wasn't married then. She was a lawyer. She just finished law school, something like that. And then she was like God, so it looks like she has her life figured out, and then there's me. And we're not even friends, but I always like loved the way she talked, loved the way she looked, like her, and then and also just because she's taking you time doesn't mean you cannot get there to six years to decide whether I'm gonna whether I wanted a master's or not, and everything just worked out, like everything just worked out, and a lot of things will happen, challenges on the way, but don't ever give up. Just remember, no matter what happens, it's not your fault because you are too small to tarnish God's plan for your life. I keep that's my takeaway from this episode to tarnish where you make a mistake, or that's something better. You're too small to tarnish God's plan for your life. So yeah, that's all I see. You got this, and God's got you. I love it, I love it. You're too small. I'm gonna change your name from Balachi because you're so small to Turnish God's life small, and that is such a key message, it's such a key message, it's such a key message because I remember I was listening to Pastor Manuel Earl, and he said that God is so sovereign and God is so intentional, even that such that your mistakes he accounts for them.
SPEAKER_04And Joseph was gonna blab to his brothers about his dream, and they were going to throw, you know, sell him into state where he was then going to prison and all that. So that's Joseph's big mouth and blabbing to his brothers. Um, because you know people say, keep your dreams, keep it to yourself, keep it to yourself. He already accounted for that, you know. So God is so intentional, he accounts for your mistakes, he's very sovereign, and so you are too small, man.
SPEAKER_03How much got slammed for your life? I love it. Thank you so much for like just so much uh how you made your continuous. I'm so happy, okay. You want I'm so happy we got to do this. I'm gonna do it.
SPEAKER_05Thank you.
SPEAKER_03Yes, enjoy the rest of your evening.