Episode 7 - Own Your Story

In episode seven of 'Life After Fear, Redefine Your Limits,' host Courtney Schoch discusses the transformative power of owning your story. She explains that the narratives we tell ourselves can either empower or destroy our lives. By taking control of these stories, individuals can gain a sense of control, build resilience, improve self-confidence, and create deeper connections with others. Courtney guides listeners through a reflective exercise to identify and rewrite their limiting beliefs into more positive, empowering narratives. She shares her personal journey from struggle to success and encourages listeners to do the same. The episode concludes by prompting listeners to take action on long-held aspirations and announces the topic for the next episode: overcoming the fear of failure.

Learn more about your host Courtney Schoch

Transcript

Courtney: Hello, everyone. Thank you for listening to episode number seven of Life After Fear, Redefine Your Limits with your host. That's me, Courtney Schoch. This is where you confront your fears and transform your life. In this episode, we are discussing the importance of owning your story. What exactly does that mean?

Well, the story is the story that you tell yourself about yourself or even about other things, other people's experiences, and the story can either empower or destroy. It's the difference between living a purposeful life with vitality or barely getting through the day. The awesome part is you get to choose.

So which one are you going to choose? What are some of the benefits of owning your own story?

Let's start with a question. What is one thing that for years you've been saying you should do, but as of yet, you have not done? Think about that for a second. What's been really important to you? What's been rolling around in your head, the back of your mind, or in your heart, or in your soul that you really, really want to do, but you have not taken the steps to make it happen?

Could it be it's because of the story you're telling yourself? Well, let's find out.

 Owning your story allows you to identify and release limiting narratives. And it allows you to craft a new story for your life that helps you align your beliefs with your desired reality. Remember that old saying, you are what you eat well you kind of are what you think.

So, let's shift the thought process and do something that works for us and have fun doing it because some of the benefits of owning your story. 

You have an increased sense of control when you own your story. You take back the power to shape your life's direction instead of feeling like a passive victim of circumstances, you become the hero.

You're the hero of your own story. You're capable of making choices that affect your life. Other people and other circumstances do not have to dictate your life. You do have the power. By owning your story, you also have greater resilience and adaptability because you reframe challenges as opportunities for growth, and you get this mental toughness and flexibility to bounce back from setbacks.

You're no longer paralyzed by fear, but you're driven to find solutions. You spend 95 percent of your time finding solutions and 5 percent focusing on the problem, and you have a stronger, deeper sense of meaning because when you have a positive story, you're able to identify and tap into your deepest values and aspirations.

You have the ability to clarify your why, which is the driving force behind your actions and goals. Your self-confidence improves because you're not talking to yourself in a negative, limiting way. You start to have more of a positive self-image. You are able to advocate for yourself and harness those gifts and talents that are unique to you, and you have the ability to go out and share that with whomever you choose.

By doing so, you have a deeper connection to other people because you can show up authentically and be vulnerable in your relationships, which, in my opinion, is lacking in this day. You know, it's hard to find people who are authentic, and by being authentic, you are able to create more meaningful connections with people in your life.

By owning your story, you also get to accelerate your personal growth and your professional growth because you can unlock your full potential. You're making conscious choices, and you also create that muscle; you build that strong muscle that gives you the strength and courage to keep going forward.

Despite how challenging something is, you've cultivated a belief in your ability to succeed. You believe in yourself. And so much of success starts with that. You have to believe in yourself, even if no one else does. So here are some ideas of ways to rewrite your story. Take a moment and do an exercise.

Take 10 to 15 minutes. You can either pause this podcast or you can take some time after the podcast to write your story. For instance, for a long time, I identified with being a high school dropout. And I used to be a stripper, and I was a single mom, and I just slapped on all of these identities. I didn't think that I could do any better.

I'm not saying anything negative about being a high school dropout, a single mother, or a stripper. But life can be hard when you're in situations that are not ideal. And especially when you're in situations where you're struggling. I was struggling.

I could barely pay my bills. I was in constant turmoil with people in my life. I did not have the bandwidth to spend as much time doing things that I enjoyed because I was too busy trying to make ends meet. I was too busy trying to keep the lights on in the house or trying to make sure that my children and I didn't end up out on the street.

I was able to hold on to a little bit of hope, And truly, by chance or by grace, whatever you'd like to call it, I was able to build a rope to pull myself out of this existence I was in. I wasn't living my life. I was simply existing. 

We all have these tremendous gifts and talents that we want to give back to the world. And if we're just barely trying to keep our head above water, we're not able to harness any of that. And. That's where I was. So to go from where I had been to where I am now by taking that flight lesson or enrolling in, uh, GED classes so I could get my GED and ultimately a master's degree.

It's really a long way that I come, and it took a lot of courage and a lot of strategies that I had developed over the years. I really had to change my story because my old story was very limiting. I was. Um, I believed that I made poor choices. I didn't know what I was doing. I was never going to make any money.

I was always going to be struggling. I mean, I just played the victim for so long, and then that became one of my issues. One of my weaknesses was that I wasn't able to overcome the things that I needed to overcome because I identified with someone who was in a disempowering type of position. But once I changed that story, I was able to change my life tremendously.

I mean, never in a million years did I dream that I would be here with you, and I think that it's important to do this exercise because if you take 10 minutes, I mean, heck, if you only take 5 minutes to sit down and write out your story, write out that self-talk, you know, the limiting beliefs, the negative self-talk, the victim mentality that may be holding you back and then rewrite that story into something empowering, 

Write three strengths or more. Something that you're pretty badass with. You know, you, you're a great lover. You're a great writer. You value your health. You're great at math. You volunteer somewhere. Now, you have the ability to push through challenges. Always show up for your friends and your family.

There's got to be at least three things that you can say that are positive about yourself and then build on that. 

There are tons of things that you can write on this list that you probably don't even realize. So take five, 10, 15 minutes and write out your limiting story, and then rewrite that story and fill in the blanks with positive things about yourself. And then focus on your strengths, your resilience, and your ability to overcome obstacles.

And you know what the next part is? It's really awkward, and it sounds really cheesy, but read your new story out loud. Infuse it with some emotion and conviction because you have the power to reshape, to change your life. You've got to be enthusiastic because if you're not, it falls flat.

If you can't convince yourself how fantastic you are and how awesome you are. You're certainly not going to be able to convince other people out there. Now, the fake it till you make it, well, this is kind of a spin on fake it till you make it because that is important to do, and you're worth it. 

Something you can add to this exercise is to take a few additional minutes and look at those limiting beliefs that, that story you're telling yourself, like I'm not smart enough, or I'm not able to save money, or I'm too old, take those limiting beliefs and try to identify where they came from. Were they ingrained in you from a family member or a past experience? Or perhaps what society has been telling you or what you think society wants or expects from you. 

Then, challenge yourself to consider how these beliefs have held you back, what could have prevented you from having these beliefs, and what your life may look like or what a situation may look like if you didn't have that belief. So, if I hadn't believed for years that I wasn't smart enough or good enough.

Because I dropped out of high school, I got pregnant when I was a teenager and made a lot of really bad relationship choices. If I think about that, it held me back for years. It created a lot of pain and a lot of wasted time, and if I were to revisit that, I can't even begin to imagine how much less stress my body and other people would have endured if I had just had more confidence and got my act together because I had a better story than the story that I was telling myself.

I ended up losing out on quite a bit. I gained a lot, but when I think about what was lost because of my old story, it's very eye-opening. So I encourage you to do the same thing and then go back and reframe those limiting beliefs to something that's positive, that's more optimistic, and more empowering.

You could even chunk it down into the different roles, like the different identities that you have in your life. Um, for instance, you know, if you're a parent, you could make a list in one column, it's mom, and you can think about words or phrases and stories that you associate with that identity.

If you have a partner, if you're single, think about that identity and think about words and phrases and stories that you associate with if you can find three or four different identities or roles that you play in your life, from personal to career. Your financial roles, you know, these different areas of your life and chunk it down. I think that that may be easier to figure out the story that you tell yourself about each of these roles that you play. And flip it around. Now, if you see anything that's disempowering in those columns, flip it around and find a strength that you have and focus on that and read that out loud and you're going to feel silly doing it.

But read it out loud, stand up straight, put your shoulders back, put your chin up, and have some confidence. Talk to yourself like you mean it because this is who you are. Don't let all those other silly stickies that you've posted all over yourself and labeled yourself. Don't let those cover up the brilliance that's underneath.

Don't let that dim your light. Don't be the victim. Be the hero. Be the hero of your own story because no one else will. It's up to you. 

Let's go back to the question we asked at the beginning of the episode. What is one thing that for years you've been saying you should do but, as of yet, have not done?

Is it because of the story you told yourself because of all the reasons you couldn't get it done? Well, now that you've got this exercise completed you're more aware. Why don't you go out there and do it? What's holding you back? It's not going to be your story because now you're aware of the story that you tell yourself and how it can empower or destroy.

Next week, we're going to be discussing the fear of failure and how to overcome it. So, wouldn't it be fun to use your new story? And then any fear that you may have about doing that one thing for years you haven't done finding out what you're afraid of and how to move past it. That's episode number eight. 

Thank you for joining me today. I'd love for you to check out all the links and resources in the show notes and subscribe, share, and check out all of the links and resources in the show notes. 

Please don't forget that I want you as part of this growing community. Follow me on social media because that would be a great way to find out what fears you're facing or what you have faced. And we've added a link in the description page so you can text the show directly. I can read what you have to say and share it with other listeners if you'd like.

Once again, thanks for joining me for episode number seven. Until next week, keep reaching for the sky, and never settle for less than what you can be. Take care, everyone.