Habits of Hope: Cultivating a Deeper Life with God

22.How to Love Others Like Jesus: Actionable Steps for Everyday Life

• Ginger Harrington • Season 1 • Episode 22

Share episode

Send us a text

Loving others sounds simple, but what happens when life and relationships become messy? In this heartfelt episode, Ginger and Larissa explore how to cultivate the habit of hope by letting Christ’s love flow through us. Drawing from John 13:34-35, they share practical tips to rely on God’s love rather than your own strength. Whether it’s pausing to pray, offering words of encouragement, or performing small acts of kindness, you'll discover how small, intentional habits can transform your relationships and deepen your faith. This is the first of a series on love.

Habit of Hope: Let Christ’s love flow through you with small, daily acts of care and encouragement.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

  • Love is the ultimate mark of discipleship (John 13:34-35).
  • Small acts of kindness and encouragement have a big impact on others.
  • Pausing to pray before reacting helps you love others with patience and grace.
  • Gratitude reduces criticism and helps you see others through God's eyes.
  • Humility and putting others first build stronger, more compassionate relationships.

📌 Memorable Quotes from the Episode:

  • "Loving people is no problem when they behave. It's when they don't that it takes a little more effort."
  • "Live loved—when you know God’s love for you, you can love others well."
  • "One small act of love can make a big difference in someone's day and remind them they are deeply loved by God."
  •  "Even when life is busy, on-the-go care—a prayer, a kind word—can still have a huge impact."
  • "When there's too much 'me' in the picture, it's hard to think of others as more important than yourself."

If you’ve ever struggled to love others during difficult seasons, this episode offers hope and practical guidance. Ginger and Larissa share relatable stories, scriptural insights, and actionable steps to help you cultivate relationships centered on God's unconditional love. Whether you're overwhelmed or feeling disconnected, this conversation will inspire you to live loved and love well.

✨ Don’t Miss:

  • Ginger's humorous story about letting someone else have the "bigger piece" of dessert.
  • Ginger’s personal reflection on humility and "too much me in the picture."
  • The five-minute blessing challenge to encourage someone e

Habits of Hope Podcast is for informational and inspirational purposes only. This podcast is not a substitute for professional advice—spiritual, medical, legal, or otherwise.

Ginger (00:01.286)

The Bible tells us that we should love one another. More people should read the Bible, do what it says, right? Actually, I was gonna read.


Ginger (00:16.218)

Okay, I did.


Ginger (00:23.57)

I'm going to start over again.


Larissa Traquair (00:24.844)

Okay.


Ginger (00:27.056)

The Bible tells us we should do... The Bible tells us we should love one another. More people should read the Bible, right? And do what it says. But even when we do, loving one another can still have some messy moments. Our relationships don't always reflect the joyous bliss blazoned across sunset images on greeting cards. And yet...


Love is a topic so familiar and so basic, sometimes we're tempted to roll our eyes and tune out, thinking, I've got this down, and the problem is with everybody else.


We've heard the admonition that we should love each other so many times that it can feel trite, snore, we jerk awake with surprise when conflict or selfishness erupts in a relationship. We cannot escape the truth that loving one another takes more than good intentions. You're listening to the Habits of Hope podcast where we believe that cultivating a life rooted in hope


Larissa Traquair (01:14.19)

you


Ginger (01:33.618)

comes through daily rhythms that help us trust God's faithfulness, even in difficult seasons. I'm your host, Ginger Harrington, and let's welcome Larissa Traquair, our co-host. Hello, my friend.


Larissa Traquair (01:47.584)

Hey, Ginger, so fun to be here talking about this hard topic and very necessary topic. And I'm speaking that right to myself. So thanks for having me.


Ginger (01:56.898)

I know, you know, the Bible does say to love one another. And you know, some days I feel like I'm just loving one another in my tilt. And you know, some days I feel like I'm one another in myself to death. And I'm wondering why isn't everybody else one another in loving me? And you know, that just goes that way sometimes.


Larissa Traquair (02:18.618)

So true. Yeah, so true. So today's habit of hope is really good for us, right? It is let Christ's love flow through you to others. And we've got a great key verse for this discussion today out of John 13, 34 and 35. A new command I give you love one another as I have loved you. So you must love one another by this.


Ginger (02:26.161)

Mm-hmm


Larissa Traquair (02:47.86)

Everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. And one thing that we'll talk about today is Jesus commands us to love not just when it's convenient, but consistently and intentionally.


Ginger (03:05.822)

my goodness. Yeah, you know, and this is so much easier said than done, right? Especially when people are working your last nerve. Yeah, I have I have often thought, you know, loving people is no problem when they behave. It's when they don't or when they don't agree with me or when they don't do what I want them to do, but it takes a little more.


Larissa Traquair (03:11.116)

Yeah. Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (03:17.774)

do I know that.


Ginger (03:34.862)

intention and effort and you know sometimes when I'm just relying on myself I don't have it.


Larissa Traquair (03:37.218)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (03:42.562)

Yeah, girl, that'll preach.


Ginger (03:47.11)

you know, that's when the snippy voice comes out or the sarcastic comment or just that icky mood. I am being so, so smooth with my words today, that icky mood. Absolutely, you know, and the standard of love is high.


Larissa Traquair (03:56.94)

Yeah. Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (04:03.598)

Well, I mean, it speaks a lot though. Icky speaks volumes.


Ginger (04:13.682)

The love of Christ is agape love. It is unconditional. It's self-sacrificial and it's the kind of love that is God's love and in our own strength and flesh, we don't have that capability to love unconditionally across the board. Self just gets in the way so so easily. But when we learn to really


rely on Christ and receive His love. And we have a heart of gratitude at what He has done for us, the love that He's given us that we frankly do not deserve. Then it increases our capacity to love others with the love of Christ. And so I just, I love that. And, you know, according to this verse, love is the mark of discipleship.


Larissa Traquair (04:55.212)

Amen.


Yeah.


Ginger (05:12.827)

And you know, our world right now is so divided.


Larissa Traquair (05:12.92)

Yeah.


Ginger (05:17.338)

so divided and often even in the church there's divisions and disagreements and political differences the differences between conservative and liberal and you know across the board there's just so many areas where we can disagree or have a lack of love for one another but if we could just really get our hearts around this command to love others as Christ has loved us


then there would be so much more unity within the body of Christ and it speaks volumes. When someone loves us well, when someone loves us unconditionally,


Larissa Traquair (05:52.364)

Yeah, amen.


Ginger (06:00.162)

It's a game changer. It makes a difference in the world and it makes a difference in the lives of people. And I think that's one of the things that Christ is getting at when he says, when you express my love to others, it's going to be so different from the way the world loves. People will know there's something different about you. And that's, you know, that's a way that we can preach the gospel without ever using words.


Larissa Traquair (06:19.628)

Yeah. Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (06:26.038)

Yeah, amen, girl. Amen, you're on a roll already.


Ginger (06:30.322)

And one other thought about this before I turn your before I get your thoughts on the verse. True love isn't about our strength. And this is where our habit of hope comes. It's Christ's love flowing through us, empowering us by the Holy Spirit.


Larissa Traquair (06:47.574)

Amen.


Ginger (06:48.006)

and you and I have a good friend who is no longer with us, Bill Loveless of Christ is Life Ministries. And one of the things that he was talking to my husband and I about loving unconditionally is he said, you know, I just ask the Lord to love my wife through me. That when she...


Larissa Traquair (06:54.446)

you


Ginger (07:13.06)

encounters me today that she will experience the unconditional love of Christ coming out through me." He says, that's been a much more productive prayer for me than asking the Lord to help me love unconditionally. Right? And there I know, I know, I already miss Bill Loveless on this side of heaven. Yes, yes. Remind me to put his


Larissa Traquair (07:21.848)

So good.


Larissa Traquair (07:28.456)

so good. Yeah. he, yeah, he's a gem, that one. Yeah.


Ginger (07:43.344)

information in the show notes because you guys even though he's no longer with us his material is still available and it is gold. So Larissa some thoughts on this?


Larissa Traquair (07:50.125)

Yes.


Larissa Traquair (07:54.446)

Such a great verse. as I was reading this morning in my Bible City time in Proverbs, just this reminder that some verses we're so familiar with and yet the Lord can reveal so much, something new in the situation. So I hope that for everyone listening, but it made me think of something out of holy in the moment. Whoops, I had a little post-it note on here. Holy in the moment.


by our sweet dear friend Ginger, just a little snippet on page 170 for those of you who may want to like go and research it. Love is the key attribute of the nature of Christ who indwells every believer. So this is how Bill Loveless can say that. Have we forgotten this? Have we overlooked the presence of love within, neglecting to receive, abide and rest in the love of God?


Ginger (08:23.284)

You


Larissa Traquair (08:52.99)

only the love of God in us has the power to love others with freedom from sin and self. it's such a relief that I am not called to do this on my own. The Lord is the one who does this in and through me as I yield to Him.


Ginger (09:12.386)

Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, and just we're gonna get to some practical steps on this towards the end of the podcast, but just on the caveat that I don't remember to say this then, I'm gonna say it now. When we are having trouble loving someone else, the very


Ginger (09:34.34)

most practical thing that we can do is spend some time with the Lord, receiving His love, reflecting on what He has done for us, how He has forgiven us so unconditionally, and then asking Him to fill us with His love and let it overflow. You know, and sometimes I say, Lord, I just can't do it today. I don't have the patience. I don't have the care. I don't have the whatever it is that I need.


Ginger (10:03.526)

to love this person well right now, but you do. So would you love this person through me today? And sometimes I just need to fess up that, can't do it, can't do it, but you can.


Yeah, and he calls us to do that, right? Come to him, run to him as the safe tower, as our strength. He wants to show up big for us and through us. I love that. I was also thinking as I was reading that little insert from your book, I'd also heard it said super simply by Lisa Terkerst talking about coming from a place of knowing God's love for us, and then we can live love.


So just two words, we can live loved and this helps us in our relationships.


Ginger (10:58.47)

Hold on, let me put focus on it. I have it on my phone, but apparently it is not. The phone rang.


Larissa Traquair (11:05.634)

What happened? I didn't hear it. yeah, that's what I was kind of jiggling earlier, because I don't want to do it before we're on and then we get on and we're like...


Ginger (11:17.284)

Okay.


Do not disturb.


Ginger (11:38.706)

Okay, it should be on.


Ginger (11:50.034)

Okay. All right. We should be on. Go back to Lisa Turkett's quote.


Larissa Traquair (11:51.564)

Am I starting over?


Okay, okay. As I was reading from your book, Holy in the Moment, I was also thinking of a very simple two-word phrase that I read in one of Lisa Terker's book where she talks about coming from a place of knowing God's love for us and then we can live loved. So just two words, we can live loved and this helps us in our relationships.


because it's hard to love people if we don't feel loved. I just, I sometimes, because you're so good at this Ginger, reminding me of the simple things, right? It doesn't have to be a 20 hour prayer. It can be a bullet prayer. It doesn't have to be all these words. It can be something as simple as live loved. And that reminds me that I am loved by the God of the universe. And he in and through me can then turn around and love some of those people who try my patience.


Ginger (12:53.842)

I love that. Live, loved. That's a keeper for sure. Well, let's talk about before we get into some of the different ways to show love scripturally, showing attributes of Christ's love, let's talk about some practical steps to letting Christ's love flow through us. And when we talk about that, it can sound abstract or difficult, but just like Lisa Turkish phrase, live, loved is so simple.


Ginger (13:23.388)

When we really get our mind and our thoughts around this concept of loving with the love of Christ, depending on Christ to love in and through us, then it becomes actually pretty simple. And so some things that can help us live this out. One, just like I mentioned a moment ago, receiving Christ's love, abide in Christ.


Larissa Traquair (13:50.446)

Yeah.


Ginger (13:51.354)

Spend time with him each day. Start your day in prayer and scripture asking God to fill your heart with his love and enable you, empower you to express his love to the people around you. So that's one practical one. What's another one that you can think of?


Larissa Traquair (14:09.292)

This one is again, super simple, but man, it can really save us. So pause and pray before reacting. Respond to frustrations with a prayerful pause, asking Jesus for patience and love. I know in my life, I have felt rushed before and didn't feel like I could stop and take a moment. And we really can. And really we can save ourselves a lot of time and hurt and frustration.


and having to apologize because we do something in this rushed moment where we can just take a moment, even one second and pause and pray. And I have learned this simple technique from you saying short prayers, sending them up, just super short prayers in that pause and or just praying in faith, Lord, I trust you to help me respond in love.


which is just one of many examples. And then also seeing people through God's eyes, right? So helpful, this helps us shift our perspective to view others as God's beloved creation. And I've seen that work in my life when I've had to pray for, let's maybe say example, a friend's spouse who's not acting right. And maybe I'm not a big fan of


Ginger (15:08.892)

Mm-hmm.


Larissa Traquair (15:34.488)

because of the way they're acting and finding this way to pray for them to the God of the universe who created them and loves them with the same everlasting love that he loves me. So that great perspective shift of seeing people through God's eyes and then serving others in small ways. We can be such a culture that thinks everything has to be big, right? And we've talked a little bit about, you know, on a previous


podcasts about habit stacking, small changes, small habits can lead to big transformation. So serve others in small ways, some tangible acts of kindness like a meal, help with a task, or just a kind word. It is amazing how far a kind word can go. And this is showing love and action. And then there's also speak words that build up. A lot of people hear me say this a lot, speak life.


And God's Word is very clear about our speech and speaking life. And God is life and He sent Jesus to give us life. So there's lots of evidence of that. So replacing criticism or sarcasm with encouragement, speaking life and hope into others. This is something we all get to do. We don't have to be gifted, right? I have the gift of encouragement, but we all are called to do this and...


Ginger (16:34.588)

Mm-hmm.


Larissa Traquair (17:00.118)

Speaking words of life is something I've been working on both towards myself and others, right? Because this includes us in being more intentional about what I say. And one specific thing, and I'm just being real transparent here, one specific thing is eliminating things like sarcasm from my verbiage. I'd heard a pastor say this a few years back, and I thought, is so brilliant, because I don't love being on the end of most people's sarcasm.


Like I know your heart, Ginger, so if you were to say something sarcastic, this is not your habit, but if you were, I just, know your heart, right? But it reminds me of Ephesians 429 out of the NIV where it says, do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And sarcasm just is not the place for it. And we all are indifferent.


seasons of our life and we may not know, you know, who's hurting. And we can say something simple, I could say something to you that wouldn't trigger you, but it could trigger someone else. So eliminating sarcasm, not easy because we live in a very sarcastic, heavy world. And I do it to myself all the time and I'm learning that. It's like, don't be sarcastic to yourself either. anyways, just a few.


Ginger (18:11.12)

Yes, we do.


Ginger (18:18.914)

that's that's another good point. not all. And, know, that goes back to that golden command of love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might, with all your strength and love others as you love yourself. So we get to be included in this. You know, how we treat ourselves is also a part of of how we love. So let's get into some practical ways, some biblical ways to.


Larissa Traquair (18:36.044)

Yes.


Larissa Traquair (18:41.366)

Yeah.


Ginger (18:47.116)

show love for one another. Getting down into the nitty-gritty here, we just mentioned a few as kind of steps, actions that we can do, but let's talk about some of the scriptural pieces of this.


The Bible keeps it clear that there are so many practical ways to put love into action. And one of them is Philippians 2, 3, and 5, and it says, nothing. Hello, do nothing, like not one thing, from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves. And this reminds me, I wrote this in Holy in the Moment.


This reminds me of a situation when my kids were little and my daughter was drawing a picture of our family and, you know, stick figures and the little house with the chimney and the sun at the top corner like kids do. And one person was really big in the picture and everybody else was kind of small. And I was like, honey, who is the big person? She said me.


Larissa Traquair (19:56.239)

my gosh.


Ginger (19:57.262)

And that's when I would, you know, the Lord, when I was writing about this, the Lord brought to mind the problem with that is there's too much me in the picture. And this verse, when we struggle with.


Larissa Traquair (20:05.826)

Yeah.


Ginger (20:12.496)

being selfish or prideful in our thoughts about ourselves and how we are relating with one another, it's very difficult to think of others as more important than yourself or to put them first or to give preference to them and honor, which is another way that is talked about in scripture when there's too much me in the picture. I know.


Larissa Traquair (20:29.208)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (20:34.282)

Mmm, oof, that stings. That stings, girl, that stings.


Ginger (20:39.726)

I know because you know honestly there's so many days I'd really like to make everything all about me. And as we grow and mature in Christ, he enables us to let some of that go. And one of the ways that we start growing in maturity in how we love one another is to start letting go of selfishness and self-absorbed thinking or you know I guess psychology talk would be eco-centric.


Larissa Traquair (20:45.122)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (21:02.638)

Hmm.


Ginger (21:09.862)

Thinking. Right. And we oftentimes think of kids because they see the world from their perspective and it takes time for them to be aware, hey, there's other people and they think and do and feel things differently than I do. But we have trouble letting go of that as we as we get older, we get wiser, we learn how to couch it and dress it up and hide it.


Larissa Traquair (21:11.05)

Okay, that's a big word.


Larissa Traquair (21:20.312)

Yeah.


Ginger (21:39.708)

but the tendency to put ourselves first and to think of ourselves first, I don't think it ever really goes away. So, y'all don't think bad of me, because I'm saying these things. I'm just being honest. And that's where the struggle is.


Larissa Traquair (21:48.268)

I don't think so, unfortunately.


Larissa Traquair (21:56.151)

yeah, no, I'm right here. I'm right here. I'm with you. I'm on the same team. I struggle with all those same things.


Ginger (22:01.402)

Right. And this is is flesh patterns. You know, one of the I think one of the most helpful definitions or explanations of flesh is ways that we have found to cope with life, solve our problems and meet our needs to be loved, valued, accepted, secure and significant in our own strength versus a part in Christ. So when we


are depending on ourselves for these things. We develop ways of doing things. We develop coping strategies. so that thinking of ourselves more highly than we should is part of that flesh pattern of getting our needs met. so it comes pretty naturally. And that's why we need to work out thinking a different way. And I think one of the things that


Larissa Traquair (22:42.957)

Yeah.


Ginger (22:56.974)

is really helpful here is starting to become more self-aware of when I'm thinking of myself too much, when there's too much me in the picture. And yeah.


Larissa Traquair (23:07.069)

that self-aware word. Ooh, we might, yeah, that's a subject we might need to go down another time.


Ginger (23:14.776)

Right. That could be a whole episode or even a series of episodes. But the bottom line is loving others starts with humility and being able to think about them and to think of their needs to value them, to value what they need and to not just give people your leftovers.


Larissa Traquair (23:18.273)

Yes.


Ginger (23:39.314)

Right? Not like, okay, once I've got all my stuff done and all my needs met, anything leftover I can give to somebody else. Anybody who's ever been a parent knows that that just flat out doesn't work.


Larissa Traquair (23:40.11)

So good.


Larissa Traquair (23:49.304)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (23:54.508)

No, no, and I feel like it doesn't work in marriage, and I feel like it doesn't work in friendship.


Ginger (23:58.471)

Nope.


No. any thoughts here about this Philippians 2 verse?


Larissa Traquair (24:02.894)

How do I know this, I wonder?


Larissa Traquair (24:12.832)

It reminded me when you were saying, nothing from selfishness and we mean nothing. Nothing is nothing. Just like when it says pray without ceasing, right? Like pray without ceasing. Like sometimes the Bible is so clear, which I appreciate because sometimes it's hard to read between the lines. So I love that reminder that there's just, there's no room for selfishness or empty conceit. And then we're always blessed with getting the practical piece. What do you do then?


but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than ourselves. So good, practical stuff right there.


Ginger (24:48.924)

Right, and again, in and of our own self, this is not gonna happen without intention, effort, and reliance on the Holy Spirit because it's the love of Christ within us who is able to do that consistently, unconditionally. Yeah, on my good days, I can do this. On my good days, my really good days, I can do this okay. But on my bad days, my hard days, when someone else is being unloving to me,


Larissa Traquair (25:05.547)

Amen.


Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (25:18.304)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.


Ginger (25:18.546)

It's really hard to do this. It's not natural in terms of our sin nature.


Larissa Traquair (25:23.254)

No.


Larissa Traquair (25:26.794)

Yeah, well, and nowhere in the Bible does it say unless. So do nothing from selfish or empty conceit unless ginger steps on your toes.


Ginger (25:36.546)

is, yeah, that's a good word.


Larissa Traquair (25:38.006)

Right? You've taught me that. Like look for what is not being said. Right? So that's the hard part. And nor does it say do nothing from selfish or empty conceit unless you didn't get enough sleep last night and you know, whatever. But that's where of course grace and mercy and again, another podcast. Okay.


Ginger (25:59.09)

Yes. Oh, let's keep it moving. Let's go to Romans 12, 10. And Romans 12 is a great passage. There are lots of instructions in that for how to live the Christian life and how to relate to believers, how to relate and love folks who are not believers. So we're not going to unpack that whole chapter, but just looking at this one little snippet so related to the last one. Be devoted.


and give preference to one another. And again, you I've learned so much about from being a parent. And you could learn lots of things from not being a parent. I'm not saying that, but our children have such a way of teaching us as parents. And I can remember that.


Larissa Traquair (26:39.757)

Right.


Ginger (26:51.41)

I used to make brownies and things like that and I'd cut them up. But it's really hard to get all the pieces exactly even. And kids are really interested in getting everything absolutely even. And if it's not even, they want the bigger piece. Right? And so I would put the pieces out and whoever got the first


Larissa Traquair (27:04.397)

Yes.


Larissa Traquair (27:08.802)

Yeah, especially when we're talking brownies, sorry. Don't be coming between me and my brownie.


Ginger (27:21.18)

pick of the brownies, they almost always picked the big one. And so one of the things that the Lord just kind of challenges me with, because I have that same temptation, you know, when it's the brownies, I want the bigger one too. And so I have learned, you know, when I can give someone else the first choice, or just give them the bigger piece. And it's kind of one of those little ways that I just


Larissa Traquair (27:34.072)

Yep.


Me too. Me too, girl.


Ginger (27:50.64)

I don't know, it's kind of like training, training my brain to just not automatically go for the best one. And so I think that that is a way that enables us when we learn to give preference to other people, it gives us ability to let go of a what's in it for me mindset in our relationships and how we interact with people.


Larissa Traquair (27:52.832)

Mm-hmm. Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (27:57.859)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (28:15.372)

Yeah.


Ginger (28:18.596)

So any thoughts on this one?


Larissa Traquair (28:21.838)

Oh, wow. Yeah, giving preference to other people. And you had to pick brownies or you had to pick dessert because I can find myself like I'm good with sharing a lot of things, but man, when it gets down to dessert, that's or I don't mind sharing, right? Because most desserts by that point, you're full and you you and I have been out to eat or had, you know, meals together and then dessert comes out. I'm fine to share. But yeah, I want my half.


and I want or whatever, a third, a fourth, whatever you're sharing. So that's a good one. I don't think any of us listening to this podcast is gonna have dessert the same from here on out, which is good because eating is a big part of our lives. But yeah, that's a great illustration.


Ginger (29:03.494)

Yeah, yeah. And then there's another piece of this verse about being devoted to one another. And there's that word. I've not dug into the scriptural definition, but just what comes to mind when I think about being devoted to someone. There is commitment. There is intentionality. There's affection and loyalty. They're important.


Larissa Traquair (29:07.885)

Hmm.


Ginger (29:31.056)

to me when I'm devoted to someone, they are important to me. And that is, I think it's hard to give preference to others if...


Larissa Traquair (29:35.235)

Yeah.


Ginger (29:43.846)

when there's no relationship or when there's a difficult relationship. so cultivating that relationship makes it easier to give those to others.


Larissa Traquair (29:45.73)

Yes. Yes.


Larissa Traquair (29:54.222)

Yeah, that is very true. I do agree. I agree. Well, moving on, here's another great one out of Romans 14, 19, where it talks about build up one another. And we talked earlier about encouraging and you don't have to have the gift of encouragement to be called to encourage. And it is really important. There's our words have a huge impact on others and ourselves as we talked about as well.


So we need to think about things like, is what we are saying and even thinking, building others up or tearing them down. And I know some ways that others have built me up, and you've done this for sure and several wonderful friends, I can't start naming names because we'll be here all day, but sending that encouraging text. Like the minute somebody, you think of somebody, just send the text. Maybe not if it's midnight and they live on the East Coast, that might be...


not so good, but send that text or voice memo. As we're recording, I just got a voice memo, so it's kind of fun. Giving a compliment or helping someone be or feel seen. And that really kind of goes back to what you were just saying when we secede to other people, when we let them have the bigger piece of the brownie or maybe for those of you who are not eating brownies for whatever reason,


Let people do more of the talking in conversation. And I struggle with that because I'm an extrovert and I love to get excited when people are talking. So showing preference that way is also really sweet and a way to tie those two together. So think about like how often are your words used to encourage rather than criticize and one help that I have and then Ginger if you have something I'd love to hear.


One of the advantages I share for cultivating gratitude daily is how it changes us. And I've seen that in my own life in this example of a heart check. My criticism has decreased over the years. It's not gone, but it has decreased over the years as my gratitude has increased. Focusing on God's faithfulness and blessings improved my heart condition, which improved the words that came out of my mouth.


Larissa Traquair (32:22.958)

So any thoughts? Because you know I could go on and on, but I'm going to stop there.


Ginger (32:25.894)

Well, I think that's really interesting that as you've cultivated gratitude, that has kind of overflowed into how you show love for others and how you respond and think about them with less criticism. And, you know, we all have different personalities and different love languages and things like that. And for me, one of my love languages, I feel really loved when I receive words of affirmation.


Larissa Traquair (32:40.333)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (32:46.382)

Yeah.


Ginger (32:55.718)

And so how people talk to me and what they say to me makes a big difference. you know, other personalities, some folks are people who do encourage a little bit more naturally. It just comes to mind easier. how they think, how they're wired. And that's, it's easier to follow this when you're that kind of personality. Other personalities are more practical.


Larissa Traquair (33:12.654)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (33:20.536)

Yeah.


Ginger (33:24.764)

problem solvers, troubleshooters. Some folks are like looking ahead down the line thinking, okay, if this problem continues, it's gonna be, you know, and constructive criticism is a good thing.


but sometimes our attitude or our tone of voice or if it's not countered with some positive and encouraging words comes across just as criticism. And I know in my marriage I have oftentimes been overly sensitive about critical words that I've received as critical and my husband was just trying to help.


Larissa Traquair (33:50.614)

Yeah, so good.


Larissa Traquair (34:05.654)

I know those darn husbands trying to be helpful.


Ginger (34:07.718)

Right, right. So that's, you know, that's one that I have struggled with on the receiving end sometimes and yeah.


Larissa Traquair (34:14.828)

Yeah, that's a great point. And that goes back to your point of being self-aware, which I know we're not going down that road right now, but that's a self-awareness piece, right? Yeah.


Ginger (34:24.05)

Yeah, yeah. And it's amazing. So much more is we can accomplish so much more when we keep things in the positive. And if we just think about our own lives, what helps you do well and be the person that God designed you to be when people are criticizing you, tearing you down, judging you, or when they're building you up?


Larissa Traquair (34:33.247)

Yeah. Amen.


Ginger (34:48.722)

and seeing you and encouraging you. It's way more easy to be the person that you want to be and the person God designed you to be when there's love in action there. Just a couple of thoughts there. Let's keep moving. Our last one that we're going to talk about today is 1 Corinthians 12 25, care for one another. And this one is so important. This is love in action. Right.


Larissa Traquair (35:02.189)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (35:17.623)

Yeah.


Ginger (35:18.812)

Care is, it's a multi-layered meaning, know, care to express. Care is an emotional, nebulous type of thing, but it's also an action. And, you know, it's hard to do one without the other. It's hard to show care, tangible care for people if you don't care about them. Right, we need, we need both.


Larissa Traquair (35:35.159)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (35:41.492)

Well, that'll preach.


Ginger (35:45.36)

We need both. But so oftentimes, particularly when you're going through a hard season or when you're sick, had surgery, had a baby, lost a loved one, lost a job, those losses in life, we really need the care of other people. And it can be such a game changer. Sometimes it's a


Larissa Traquair (35:45.453)

Yeah.


Ginger (36:12.634)

way to just keep getting by is because people are helping you, are caring for you, and it makes all the difference in the world in our toughest seasons. So I know that when Bill was sick and after Bill passed, people cared for you in so many ways. Do want to just share a little bit about that and what that meant to you?


Larissa Traquair (36:22.488)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (36:34.422)

Yeah, it made the world of difference. That's the bottom line. And of course, I've talked a lot about how people cared for Bill and I before he died and even after he died and how much that meant to me that people would send cards and flowers. But that's not the only way, right? The text messages and the phone calls and just those words of affirmation or, hey, I'm just thinking about you.


meant the world to me. However, while I was thinking about this, not everyone has suffered such a tremendous loss. Sometimes we were just having a hard moment or a challenging day and an encouraging text or a phone call can make you feel seen and less lonely in your challenge. And so back to those tangible things, offering to bring a meal, lend an ear or offer to help with a task. And this made me think


way back with all of the moves that we've done, someone offered during one of our moves, you most of the stuff's out of our house to do our laundry. It was the first time someone has ever offered to do our laundry. That included Bill's laundry. So a girlfriend of mine offered to do all of our laundry. And I was like, absolutely. And of course, poor Bill's like, she's going to fold all of it too? And I'm like, babe, she's a mom with boys and has her own husband.


But there just was something about someone being willing to do like laundry, like dirty laundry. There's nothing sexy about doing dirty laundry. And yet it made such a huge difference in my life. And I just so, so appreciate that.


Larissa Traquair (38:21.954)

My bulldog. I don't know if you could hear it, I don't think you could hear it towards the end.


Larissa Traquair (38:30.04)

gonna have to put him up. I'm sorry it's gonna take a minute I'll be right back cuz I still had a little bit I'll be right right back.


Ginger (38:32.944)

That's fun. yeah, absolutely.


Larissa Traquair (39:20.184)

Sorry, and that was my fault. I set him up to totally fail. anyways, we'll just, I think you, okay, I think the whole thing.


Ginger (39:23.782)

No, you're fine. You're fine. I couldn't hear him, but just in case, just go ahead and repeat whatever you want.


Larissa Traquair (39:33.294)

Okay, because I don't think we could hear him.


Ginger (39:40.134)

I could not hear him.


So I think you're fine, so maybe just.


Larissa Traquair (39:43.247)

okay. I'll just, I'll just, yeah, I'll just pick up where, For care, acknowledging. Okay. Hold on.


Larissa Traquair (39:55.2)

Another way that I think this has played out really beautifully, at least in my life, is acknowledging that caring can feel overwhelming when life is busy, but on the go care, like just a kind word or prayer, can still be very impactful.


Larissa Traquair (40:27.116)

Okay, should I repeat that? Okay.


Larissa Traquair (40:39.022)

I may need you to pick up on that or a skip. Acknowledge that caring, it's right below the tangible examples of care. Or just give me a... I can try to...


Ginger (40:41.914)

Okay, where are you?


Ginger (40:50.396)

Mm, yeah.


Larissa Traquair (40:54.734)

Let me, what I can do is just say any other thoughts and maybe you can pick that up. That'd be okay. Let me see if I can get that out.


Ginger (40:58.61)

Okay.


Larissa Traquair (41:04.396)

So Ginger, any other thoughts on that?


Ginger (41:06.97)

Yeah, a couple. One of them is it doesn't have to be a huge deal when you're caring for other people. It can be, you know, there's big things that we do, but there's also small things. And I know I've heard you talk about on the go care, just caring for somebody in the moment, a kind word, praying for them, offering you.


you're talking with a friend and they need a ride and just offering to give that ride, you know, just in the moment kind of things. And then another thing that comes to mind is, and I know I've talked about this before, but when my sister was sick with ALS and losing her mobility, she lived alone and her community, people that she had worked with, neighbors, friends, came out of the woodwork and


Larissa Traquair (41:34.848)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (41:47.79)

Thank


Ginger (41:57.54)

I have never seen people care for someone in so many tangible ways. She had people bringing, people brought meals. Some people took her to an appointment. She had a couple of friends who would come over several times. They'd had a schedule and they would help feed the cats and empty the litter boxes.


And as she lost more and more mobility, she also had friends who helped with personal care, helping her get dressed and things like that. it was, she would not have been able to, she could not do those things for herself. And the fact that people showed such love for her really made such a difference in such a devastating disease to experience love and care from other people.


Larissa Traquair (42:35.297)

Yeah.


Ginger (42:47.578)

really helped her keep going. And it was such a powerful testimony to me. And I know that I respond differently with more empathy when people that I know are going through tough situations, particularly health struggles, that awareness of how important care is. And I do many more things for people than I used to, because I just didn't think about it.


Larissa Traquair (43:16.62)

Yeah, that's such a great point. had a friend just send me a text recently along those lines. Unfortunately, her family just suffered a huge loss. And she said, I did not know how to be there for you and Bill. Of course, they lived out of town. So it is very hard to do practical. It's not impossible, but it's harder. And she says, and I have so much better understanding now. And she was so sweet. She goes, and I'm so sorry that I wasn't there.


for you better. And that just that made me feel seen. That kind of goes back to that scene piece that someone was so self aware that they realized, wow, this must be what, in my case, Larissa is going through. And I hate that they're going through what they're going through. But this is that piece where when we learn, like you're saying, then now we're aware we can't ever unknow that.


Ginger (44:09.776)

Yeah, yeah, and that's a good thing, right? That's a good thing. So let's be let's finish this out. And our habit of hope today is letting Christ's love throw our habit of hope today is let


Larissa Traquair (44:26.87)

Are we leaving these bloopers in?


Ginger (44:31.146)

of hope today is let Christ's love flow through you to others. And so here's just some thoughts about how to put this into practice this week. And one is start small. Tiny habits, right? Tiny actions. Choose one person to encourage. An act of kindness, send them a note, a thoughtful gesture, give them a call, whatever. Be intentional. It's not going to happen by accident.


Larissa Traquair (44:43.533)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (44:54.819)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (45:00.407)

No it won't.


Ginger (45:01.394)

Look for opportunities to care for someone as you go about your day, whether it's a coworker, a friend, a neighbor. And I think it's also, this is the third one, ask God to help you notice the needs of others, to be aware and to help you respond with his love. yeah, and so choose one of those things and apply that this week as you think about.


Larissa Traquair (45:21.484)

Amen.


Ginger (45:29.05)

ways that you can express the love of Christ to those around you. And you have a five-minute blessing challenge, a little extra challenge for us, don't you friend?


Larissa Traquair (45:34.018)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (45:40.076)

I sure do, it's such a perfect segue. The five minute blessing challenge, I love because it's super simple. Spend five minutes each day this week intentionally encouraging someone, send a text, pray for them, or perform a small act of service. Small, consistent blessings can make a big impact in someone's day. And it goes back to that, your point earlier, it doesn't have to be this big thing, you don't have to tell them,


You're doing it. However, it is hard to be intentional sometimes, especially when it's a new habit. And you mentioned someone who sets their alarm to pray for their kids every afternoon. So this could be the same thing. So if I were trying, if I were choosing you, I could set my alarm for two o'clock and write ginger alarm. And then that could remind me or write it on a post-it note, but such a super simple, quick thing that we can do this week. So we hope you take that challenge.


Ginger (46:38.768)

Yeah, and it can be a lot of fun, right? It's fun to love others well and to get outside of our own box and really share the love of Christ with other people. It's meaningful, purposeful, and it feels good. Right?


Larissa Traquair (46:41.304)

Yeah.


Larissa Traquair (46:50.56)

Amen. Yeah.


Yeah, amen.


Ginger (46:57.45)

So friends, imagine what could happen if all of us made a habit of caring for others, showing God's love in simple and practical ways. As we learn to care for others, our focus shifts from ourselves to those around us, and we start to see the world. We start to see other people through God's eyes, and his eyes always look with love. One small act of love can make a big difference.


in someone's day and remind them that they are deeply loved by God. So friends, I hope that you have enjoyed our thoughts today on biblical ways to love and to share the love of Christ. We're gonna be talking about love and relationships for several episodes this month, so be sure to join us for those. A thought that I wanted to kind of close us out with is,


1 Peter 4 10, each of you should use whatever gift that you have received to serve others as faithful serfs.


as faithful stewards of God's grace in various forms. And showing love for one another is when we receive that from the Lord and we can give it extended to others and it comes in so many forms and flavors and packages and types and kinds. So be creative. Be creative with showing love for one another. And that's it for today on Habits of Hope podcast. Remember showing God's love doesn't have to be complicated. It's often in those small


Larissa Traquair (48:21.634)

Yeah.


Ginger (48:32.564)

everyday moments that we make the biggest difference. So take the challenge this week and see what happens when you let Christ's love flow through you. And until next time friends, keep on spreading hope one habit at a time.


Ginger (48:49.68)

I'm going to finish that up again and add in the resources.


Larissa Traquair (48:53.978)

Okay.


Ginger (48:57.04)

Before we sign off today, I want to share a couple of resources for those of you who want a little something else to go with this, particularly since this is February when we're recording these and we're focusing on love this month. On my website, I have a quote card pack of, look, a quote card pack.


featuring quotes of love and it's a printable and you can print those babies out, cut them up, tuck them in a card, give it to someone and it can just be a really sweet way to show love to someone else. Also, as we had referenced in Holy in the Moment, there's a chapter on loving God and there's a chapter on loving one another. And so lots of ideas to take a little deeper dive into this subject in the book. So we'll put


those show note link. We'll put those. We'll put those links in the show notes. Friends, that's it for today on Habits of Hope. I'm praying that God is going to bless you as you really get your minds around the thought that it doesn't have to be complicated. Keep it simple. Keep it small. Show love every chance you get, depending on Christ, to love in you, through you, and out of you.


Larissa Traquair (50:00.59)

you


Ginger (50:15.644)

So until next time, friends, keep spreading hope one habit at a time.