251 | Survival Mode Isn’t Living: Simple Tools to Get Back in Control

Are you running on fumes—late nights, restless sleep, hitting snooze, and rushing through your days on autopilot? So many moms get stuck in survival mode, and while it might feel normal, it’s not sustainable. Survival mode isn’t living.

In this episode of the Moms Without Capes Podcast, we’re talking about the everyday habits that keep you drained—like late-night scrolling, snoozing alarms, and inconsistent self-care—and how to replace them with routines that actually restore calm and control.

Related Episodes:

Eisenhower Matrix https://www.momswithoutcapes.com/217-transform-to-do-list

Miracle Morning https://www.momswithoutcapes.com/14-transform-your-mornings

Buy the MWC affirmation cards

To schedule a 15 minute consultation to see if therapy could help with your journey, go to www.momswithoutcapes.com/start (This is for moms who live in Montana ONLY)

Transcript

survival mode

[00:00:00] Hey there, moms. Welcome back to The Moms Without Caves podcast. Let me ask you this. Have you ever found your, have you ever found yourself collapsing into bed at the end of the day, only to scroll Instagram or TikTok for just five minutes, and then suddenly it's after midnight. Then the next morning the alarm goes off.

You hit snooze a couple of times. And you already feel behind before you've even set your feet on the floor. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. This is the cycle that so many moms get stuck in late nights, restless sleep, dragging mornings, and then running on fumes all day long. We tell ourselves, me time.

But in reality, it just leaves us burned out, exhausted and resentful. Hey there, I'm Onnie and You're listening to The Moms Without Capes podcast, where I give you practical tools for reclaiming your sense of self. I'm a mom of six and a licensed therapist. Who specializes in helping moms uncover who they were always meant to be, which is more than a mom.[00:01:00] 

Today we're talking about what happens when lack of sleep and weak routines. Keep us trapped in survival mode and more so how we can move from burnout to boundaries. Because when we set boundaries with ourselves around sleep and self-discipline, and when we lean into routines that actually sustain us, we reclaim calm energy.

A sense of control in our lives. I'm gonna walk you through three powerful tools, the Eisenhower Matrix, Mel Robbins five Second Rule, and Hal Elrod's Miracle Morning, and then share some practical tips for building habits that stick. By the end of this episode, you're gonna see how even the smallest shifts in your daily routine can make a huge difference in how you feel.

So let's start with why this happens. One of the biggest culprits is sleep deprivation. When we don't get enough sleep, our brains stay in fight or flight mode. That means that your body is pumping stress hormones, your [00:02:00] patience is thinner, your mood swings are faster, and your ability to focus goes way down.

And moms, when you're already carrying the mental load of your family, being chronically tired just makes everything feel heavier. But here's the kicker. Many of us are choosing to sacrifice sleep. We end up staying up late to scroll, or we start binge watching Netflix. Or just soaking up the quiet house because it's the only time that no one is asking anything of us.

I've done it too. It feels like self-care, but it's actually stealing from tomorrow's energy and patience. We're like sabotaging our future self by doing it, and I get it. It is so tempting. But then morning comes the snooze button. Becomes our best friend, but snoozing doesn't refresh us. It actually creates more grogginess and decision fatigue.

By the time you're finally up, you end up having to rush or you're reactive, like rather than responding to your family, you're reacting in ways that you're not very proud of, [00:03:00] and the day feels like it's already running you. Let's be real. When self-care is inconsistent and when there are no predictable rhythms, you end up in a constant state of catch up.

That's what keeps us. In survival mode, burnout thrives when we lack boundaries and routines. So what can we do? Let's talk about three frameworks that can help you pull you out of survival mode and into a place of calm and intentionality. The first one is the Eisenhower Matrix. It's been a long time since I, we talked about the Eisenhower Matrix, and I will link to that in the show notes of today's episode.

But this tool is all about prioritization. So I want you for a minute, imagine a square. Divided into four boxes. The first quadrant contains urgent and important tasks. The second one is not urgent, but important. The third one is urgent, but not important. So the opposite of that second one, and the fourth one is not urgent and not important.

So most of [00:04:00] us spend all of our time in the urgent categories. The things that are urgent but not important, the things that have timelines like we're always putting out fires. The Eisenhower Matrix helps us see what's truly important and what can actually wait for moms. This might look like realizing that folding laundry feels urgent, but connecting with your spouse or carving out 15 minutes to read a book is important.

When you focus on what's important, but not necessarily urgent, you start creating the life you want instead of constantly reacting to the life that's happening to you. And again, I'll link. To the whole episode I did about explaining the Eisenhower Matrix in the show notes. So if you wanna learn more about that, check out the show notes.

The second tool is the Five Second Rule by Mel Robbins. This one is simple but powerful. Whenever you feel yourself hesitating, like debating whether to get up when the alarm goes off or whether to start that workout, count backwards. 5, 4, 3. Two, one, and then move on. I will be honest with [00:05:00] you, she wrote a whole book, Mel Robbins.

She's great. If you haven't listened to her podcast, go listen to it. But the five second rule, she wrote a whole book about, and this five second rule is a game changer. She actually discovered it. Which is really funny because it, it seems so simple, right? But she actually discovered it because of her struggles with getting up and not hitting the snooze button, like she continually hit the snooze button.

So she realized that if she counted down from five to one, now it's important to go backwards, kind of like a rocket ship, right? When she counted down from five to one, she immediately got up. And this countdown, like the reason it works and it's effective is because it interrupts your brain's tendency to talk you out of action.

Apparently it takes five, like more than five seconds to talk yourself out of something, and your brain can't think of two things at one time. So it shifts you from thinking into doing for moms, this could mean using the five second rule to get out of bed instead of snoozing, right? Just like melted or to start cleaning the kitchen instead of scrolling.

[00:06:00] Even to calm yourself down before snapping at your kids. It's just a tiny tool that helps to build some self-discipline. And the third tool is The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod, he created a framework called Savers, and I'll tell you about that in a minute. But what he did was he studied the habits of the most successful people.

He realized that. The most successful people are doing these six things, and he created it into that acronym called the Savers, S-A-V-E-R-S, and it stands for Silence, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and Scribing, which is just journaling. The idea is to start your day with intentional practices.

Feed your mind, body and spirit, and you don't have to do all six in an hour. If you only have 10 minutes, spend a minute or two doing each one. You could spend one minute on each, so you could choose just to do a few of them. If you're not doing any of them, then even doing one or [00:07:00] two is gonna make a big difference.

Even 10 minutes in the morning can change the tone of your entire day. Imagine beginning your day with a short meditation, a positive affirmation. A quick visualization of how you want to show up. Two minutes of stretching, reading. Just a single page from a book and then jotting down a thought in your journal.

That's it. The impact can be huge though because you're starting the day in control instead of letting chaos control you. I'm gonna do a quick plug here for the Moms Without Capes affirmation cards. These are 52 cards in a single deck. Each one containing a positive affirmation that is relevant to mom life, helping you build self-worth and helping you shift those beliefs.

Have been keeping you feeling overwhelmed. So if you're interested in checking out more about that, that too will be in the show notes of today's episode. I will throw a link in there where you can go check out the affirmation cards and purchase a deck for yourself, and they can become part [00:08:00] of your miracle Morning.

So now the important part is, is none of this works if it's just another big project that you add to your to-do list. The magic is in small daily shifts. This is why your brain. Loves consistency. When you do something small and repeatable, it builds trust with yourself, and that's how habits stick.

Building that self trust like and integrity. You do what you say you're going to do or what you want to do. So some practical tips is engage in habit stacking. This is a concept that I learned in Reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. This is where you attach a new habit to something you already do. For example, if you make coffee every morning, that's something you're already doing.

It's already a habit. Stacking another habit, such as looking at an affirmation, saying an affirmation, or jotting down. One thing that you're gratitude, like grateful for, is a new habit that can be stacked on the coffee. So you make a cup of coffee. You [00:09:00] say in affirmation. Another tip is to start small.

Don't aim for an hour workout right away. Just start with like a single pushup or five pushups. Don't try to read a whole book. Just aim to read one page. And the third tip I'm gonna offer is to track your wins. Even a check mark on a calendar gives your brain a dopamine hit that makes you want to keep going.

There's something satisfying with seeing like your progress and tracking your progress. So these are all not huge changes, but they build momentum. And momentum is what helps you move from burnout to boundaries. But the fact that burnout doesn't have to be your baseline. You don't have to keep running on empty and telling yourself that this is just how motherhood feels.

When you start setting boundaries around your sleep, practicing self-discipline with tools like the Five Second Rule and creating routines that nourish you, you shift out of survival mode and into a calmer. More grounded version of yourself. My challenge to you is this. Pick one tiny shift to start tonight or tomorrow morning.

Maybe [00:10:00] it's putting your phone down 10 minutes earlier. Maybe it's using the five second rule to get out of bed instead of snoozing. Maybe it's just trying one piece of the miracle morning. Remember, this is about progress, not perfection. Small steps every day. Create huge transformation over time. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to share it with a fellow mom who might be running on fumes right now.

And don't forget, you can still find more tools and resources for reclaiming your sense of self. At my website, moms Without capes.com. And if you enjoyed this episode, take a moment to leave a review. It helps other moms find the show and reminds them that this work is making a difference. Alright, mama, take a deep breath, set that boundary with yourself tonight and start fresh tomorrow.

You've got this. I wanna thank you for listening to this episode of Moms Without Capes. Just remember that you are 100% responsible for your own life. And for creating the joy that you want to feel, stop living on autopilot. Slow down, check in with yourself, [00:11:00] and please, above all, take care of yourself because you, my friend, are worth it.

I'll see you next week.